STFU Biphobia @stfubiphobia-blog - Tumblr Blog

Hi omg i'm totally bi! Gayer than ever, in fact! It's been a confusing journey as I started out exclusively liking boys... then suddenly my interest in them faded and the gay seedling that was in me grew and grew. I know that sounds strange but that's the only way I can describe it. I don't want anyone to think that I lied or used men to cover up my sexuality. Anyway, just putting this message out there to wave my sexual fluidity flag, and hopefully someone will see it and not feel alone!!

I relate to this very much! When I was young I was attracted to guys and didn’t realize my attraction to women. More recently, my interest in guys has also faded, but it’s frustrating when folks think that in my past relationships, I was covering up my gayness, or that I didn’t know my feelings. I see you!

Sorry if this sounds stupid, but I'm feeling pretty bad about my sexuality, lately. I recently discovered that I'm bi, but not in the "typical" sense. I like guys and non-binary people (I'm a girl). Everyone tells me that means I'm not really bi. Even my boyfriend said being bi means only liking males and females (he's pansexual). I honestly don't know what to do. I feel comfortable identifying as bi, but am I wrong for feeling that way?

I have excellent news for you. You are bisexual!!!!!!! Don’t let anyone tell you any different. People don’t get to decide (especially people who are not bisexual) what your identity means, or what the identity of an entire group of people means. Bisexuality absolutely can umbrella attraction to a range of genders, even if it doesn’t include women.

I'm a bi girl currently dating a girl. My sister knows about it, and even though she's attracted to multiple genders, her and her husband make a lot of lesbian jokes and insinuations that I'm only attracted to women. I know they're joking around and it feels like it shouldn't be a big deal, but it really bothers me.

It would bother me, too! Maybe at some point, you can have a conversation with her about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some kind of insecurity that she has (maybe she feels unrecognized or disconnected from the Queer community because she has a husband?) which is causing her to project onto you in unexpected ways. If you don’t tell her it bothers you, she won’t know [:

That feel when you want to have dating experience with both genders but you're scared that your relatives will view it as being "cheap." Not to mention that boys will call you a slut if you date a girl after breaking up with them and girls will call you a traitor if you date a guy after breaking up with them.

talking to this girl and she (lesbian) said this to me and then proceeded to make a sexual comment as if what she said wasn't entirely offensive and I honestly want to vomit. I proceeded to tell her why it was offensive and biphobic but still. I am always shocked when queer people (in particular) hate on bi people like r we all not fighting for acceptance of who we r ??? Ugh. annoyed. I'm happy blogs like this exist to bring light to biphobia in the world. hopefully one day it doesn't ever exist. much love

Am I being oversensitive if I get urked when people make LGBT+ movie lists, but instead of actually giving bisexuals our own list within it, we get grouped in "Lesbian/Bisexual Women" and "Gay/Bisexual Men"? Like sometimes I'd like to watch a movie that specifically has bisexuals in it?

I don’t think you’re being oversensitive! I think it’s super important to see specifically bisexual stories being told. On the other hand, though, I am very glad that bisexuals are being included, and not just lumped in as lesbians or nonexistant.... I’m sure there’s a remedy for this. It would be okay if there were repeats on the lists! 3 lists! More lists!

tcintersections

If you identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer, Questioning or some other non-exclusively heterosexual identity, please consider taking this brief survey: bit.ly/stigmaa . We are particularly interested in racial/ethnic minority people (e.g., Black and African American, Hispanic/Latino/a persons, Asian American, Native American). Thank you in advance for your time and cooperation!

millennials4bernie

Hiya, I'm hoping to start a #DIYforBernie campaign, and I need submissions! I will post my own also but I'd really like to get Bernie fans at large submitting posts. If Bernie is going to get this done without his campaign being paid for by billionaires, we can help by making our own #DIYforBernie Tshirts, signs, buttons, whatever it may be! If you could signal boost me that would be a million times awesome. Thanks very much!

I love this idea!!! Make cool stuff and share! If his modest campaign can’t afford to spread his brand then we’re gonna spread it for him!

#DIYforBernie

diyforbernie-blog

stfubiphobia-blog

Hey bifriends. I usually try to keep my posts strictly bi related, but I have a request for you. I’ve started another blog where I’d love to get people who are behind Bernie Sanders submitting their own DIY campaign stuff (tshirts, signs, etc.). Like I said, I do try to keep my posts as relevant as possible, but with voting season approaching, I think it is so important for smart people (i.e., my followers!) who know what is lacking in our society to get involved. Bernie’s views and ideas for helping to bring people out of economic hardship are so important, especially for groups (like non-monosexuals and Queers! - see it’s related) that are more likely to live under the poverty line than their heterosexual counterparts. My biggest request here is that you VOTE (#outvoteourparents!), and my next request is that, if you are a Bernie fan, you signal boost the crap out of #DIYforBernie, make those items, take pictures, and submit! diyforbernie.tumblr.com

That comic about bisexuals being called breeders at Pride is part of a longer comic that I've seen around tumblr before. Unfortunately I don't know the artist by heart, but posting it without any source or the artist's name isn't really nice.

Thanks for letting me know... I got it as an anonymous submission so I didn’t think about it. If anyone does know and could link me that would be awesome. Apologies!

Hi I've been struggling with my sexuality for a while now and I was pretty comfortable with being bi and I've only told one of my friends (who happens to be gay) and they completely dismissed it and said I was confused and attention seeking, this really put me off telling my other friends so I decided to read about bisexuality a bit more and now I'm pretty terrified of how people are going to see me after I come out. Sorry to ask all this but I really need advice thank you so much x

I want to answer this fully, but I have gotten a couple of similar asks (just posted) so if those don’t answer this for you then please feel free to elaborate in another ask [:

So for a while I was struggling with my sexuality and I recently came to the conclusion that I am bisexual. But then a friend of mine mentioned that bisexuality reinforces the gender binary and that people who identify as that are only attracted to cispeople. The thing is, I feel like I'm attracted to everyone but saying I'm pansexual doesn't feel as right as saying I'm bisexual does. What are your thoughts on this?

I’m resisting the urge to just post this link http://stfubiphobia.tumblr.com/post/6342757618/privilege-is-when-you-dont-have-to-have-a-big and say there ya go! I wrote that post (and the others linked there) a long time ago, so I don’t want to just blow off this question, but I do feel largely the same and, MAN, am I tired of this argument (not with you, but with the nay sayers!). I also feel like I’m attracted to all genders, genderqueer folks and trans folks included, and bisexual feels more right to me than pansexual as well. It infuriates me when people say that “bisexuality reinforces the gender binary” because I’ve heard it so many times and it’s just not true. Anywho, the point of this is that, I think my old posts (linked above) do explain my thoughts on this, but if you would like more clarification after reading it, please do ask again! I’m more than open to starting a more up to date discussion on this.

I'm pretty confused I think I'm bi but I've read things about bisexuals being transphobic attention seeking & greedy. All these things are pretty scary & I don't want people to label me like this. Sorry to bombard you with questions but please help!!

I haven’t been very up-to-date with things on bi tumblr lately, but all I know is that there are MANY trans and genderqueer folks who identify as bisexual. The stereotypes you’ve listed have been around for a long time (and are likely not going away completely any time soon), but they shouldn’t determine how you see or define yourself. I have lots of posts about what bisexual does and does not mean... some are here: http://stfubiphobia.tumblr.com/post/6342757618/privilege-is-when-you-dont-have-to-have-a-big

Please feel free to ask more if this doesn’t help!

Hey I want an opinion about this so here I go... I have a friend who says he's straight but we make a lot of gay things like kiss each other, talk really nice and have sex... We look like a couple, we are best friends but he says me that he only make these things with me 'cause we are best friends and I think I like him so I'm so confused about my feelings right now. I don't know if he's straight or maybe a kind of bi and he doesn't want to tell me. I'm a boy he knows I'm bi and I have a problem

Oh my goodness. That is so difficult, my friend! I wouldn’t want to assume someone else’s identity, but it certainly sounds like this person is having a hard time understanding his feelings, too. Unfortunately I’m not sure there’s much you can do to figure out what’s going on with him- he will have to do that on his own. If I were in your position I would be so confused, too! If I were you, I would just continue to be his friend if that is possible while you’re having these feelings, but also not be misleading about your intentions and how you feel. If he decided that he did not want to pursue being more than friends with me, I would probably have to stop being friends, or at least get enough space to get over my feelings before being friends again. Alternatively, there is no reason you should have to decide what it is, or what you are, or define things in any way if you are okay with how they are going, and if you are both consenting and feel safe.

I've dated a lot of girls and I had a few terrible experiences with guys before. Because of this my friends feel that it is okay to assume I am a lesbian and say things like "well only if you were drunk would you ever consider being with a guy" I've found myself jumping from identifying as a lesbian or asexual because I thought that pansexuality was too hard for my friends to understand. I think love is blind to gender but people don't get it.

I feel it’s so common for people to assume that bisexuals are either gay or lesbian (exclusively), and for that to have profound influences on how we see/identify ourselves. I have come to a point where I really pick my battles. How close am I with this person? How much energy do I have today? I have decided that these labels are for helping others to understand something about me, and that for my own sake, the label does not have to be perfect. I think it’s important that we use labels as tools and not as defining facts, and maybe these types of encounters will become less frustrating (or also maybe not).

What advice do you have for an in the closet bi-girl? I deeply respect the bi community but I'm hesitant to even come out to my closest friends because I'm worried that they may not take me seriously. I feel like because I'm young and a girl people assume that I'm too inexperienced to know what I'm talking about or that I'm just experimenting. I wish I could tell someone but I can't shake off my fears around coming out. Help?

I really hope this hasn’t been in my ask for too long! I’m so sorry I took so long :c I just want you to know that you are NOT alone in feeling hesitant to come out! I feel like some of us will spend our whole lives having a hard time feeling like we are being taken seriously. My best advice is to focus on yourself, how you see yourself, how you feel about yourself. I know it’s easier said than done to just “not worry about what other people think”, but instead of “not” doing something- just try to focus your energy towards positive affirmation of yourself. Every day remind yourself that you are a badass bisexual. You aren’t bound by labels that help others to understand you better, you are free to discover new things about yourself all the time. It takes lots and lots of practice, but it’s important! I also think that if you are able to find a person you trust enough to tell, it will really help, too. Please ask more questions if I’ve been to general/vague! Anyone else?

i just got off the phone with one of my guy friends, he was talking about how im 'greedy' and its 'my choice' to like boys and girls, even though hes gay and understands i cant help it. he also calls me lesbian and refuses to realise that theyre are ther catagories beside lesbian and gay. im honestly sick of this stereotype that we're either in denial or attention seeking. i really do feel like we're the most hated in the LGBT community bc the only people who actually understand us is us

Those types of stereotypes are so frustrating and tiring! I feel we have advanced so much as a community, tackling newer and more urgent issues than the stereotypes of bisexuality that are so engrained in society- yet we still deal with these things too often in every day life. I try to stay away from comparing oppressions, and trying to figure out who is the most hated (every oppression is different), but yes this community has to endure some very specific troubles! Sometimes it just takes compassion and understanding to push past the hypocrisy of some of our LG friends.

Been off tumblr for a bit and I owe some followers some responses! They will be on the way soon... they may become queued so keep checking back? <3

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