Small things in a big world

[stiabw]

Für mich ist jeder ausgeteilte Korb genauso ein Rückschlag, wie erfahrene Abweisung, weil ich mich dann jedes Mal frage, was falsch mit mir ist, dass ich keine tiefere Zuneigung empfinden kann.

[quotemadness]

“But sometimes your light attracts moths and your warmth attracts parasites. Protect your space and energy.”

— Warsan Shire

[rawhoneybliss]

I'mma say this one time…

You can be full of love and light and still have bad days.

[caffeinatedtanyastudies-deactiv]

and you’ll make it out alive

[dragonheartftherpays]

I did a very quick, sketchy comic because I was extremely inspired by this post. (Credit to @pinkdiamondprince for the original post.)

The entire analogy was just fantastic and so, so accurate, and I wanted to make a comic for it, even if it’s very sketchy because my attention span is nil.

[avenpt]

An adorable, helpful, and accurate little comic!

[alien-fanbitch]

This is the best way to describe aro/aceness I’ve seen! Also, the cutest!

[cake-and-spades]

Being aroace and having strong aesthetic attraction is difficult. Every time you see someone and think that they're attractive you go through this mental list to validate your self, because you've been taught to associate aesthetic attraction with romantic and sexual attraction for so long. You know that you've never been sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, but this one thing keeps making you second guess yourself. Can anyone here relate?

Oh big mood. My aesthetic attraction isn’t *usually* that strong, but every time it pops up I feel so confused and like. Am I faking it??? Is this what AttractionTM feels like?? Until I remember that aesthetic attraction exists and I’m ok again

[aesthetickingbo]

Me: I love being around my friend, and my days are better when I get to see them.

Me: I would love to live with them, and maybe have a pet together.

Me: I could cook them food, and we could watch our favorite shows together.

Some Rando: You just described romantic love.

Me: I’m pretty sure I did not.

[spacezeros]

wanting and not wanting at the same time

a comic for asexual awareness week

[spacezeros]

bringing this back today for the start of pride month. still overwhelmed by how well this comic went down and with how many people relate. it’s easy to think aro-ace people are all totally accepting of their identities and really proud of who they are. i guess on websites like this you see a lot of people proudly putting their identity in their bio, a flag in their profile picture.

in fact i think a lot of aro-ace people really hate that part of themselves, hide it, and struggle for a long time to ‘accept’ who they are and feel any sense of ‘pride’. that’s the feeling i wanted to capture here. the disappointment, the loneliness, upon realising that you can’t feel what is such a wonderful thing. the embarrassment of not being ‘normal’, of being some random sexuality that nobody irl has heard of, and letting down those around you because you can’t be who they want you to be. how desperately you want to change, how desperately you want to feel. but you just can’t.

i know not all aro-ace people feel like this. i know lots of aro and/or ace people feel able to be in relationships, to feel closeness and have partners in other ways. but i think it’s important to be aware that some aro-ace people do feel like this.

the comments on this comic have mostly been great but a few have been very frustrating. a comment it got a lot was along the lines of ‘aw!! you don’t need to have sex to be in a relationship!’. you completely missed the point, hah. this is not a comic about sex. it’s about a lack of feeling, the lack of something beautiful other people seem to have. another comment that popped up a few times was ‘maybe she’s a lesbian’. well maybe lesbians and aro/ace girls have more in common than people think - maybe they both often struggle to accept that they feel no attraction to men, even though society has conditioned them to do so, sometimes spending years trying to force themselves to like men in that way, when they just can’t.

this comic is called ‘wanting and not wanting at the same time’ because she wants to love. but when it comes down to the reality, she can’t fulfil the requirements of that. she wants to love someone forever, to get married and have children and grow old with her soulmate, but she doesn’t want it with this person. or that person. or anyone she meets or will ever meet. a sort of catch 22, i guess.

hope that makes sense. thanks for listening, and have a lovely pride month ❤️

[arolution]

You don't need to classify every individual attraction you feel.

You can feel strongly and/or softly about people without worrying if it's romantic or not. You can feel all sorts of ways about people.

If you know you're aro, you're aro. End of story.

[queefybuttcheeks]

im takin back the word friendzone it mean at ya homie house!!!!

[aromantic-mlm]

When it comes to aromanticism, I think it’s important to note that people view certain things differently in the context of romanticism and platonicism and sexuality.

For example, while one aromantic person may view hand-holding as romantic, another person may view it as platonic.

While one aromantic person may view cuddling as romantic, another person may view it as platonic.

While one aromantic person may view certain pet names as romantic, another person may view them as platonic or sexual.

And that’s not even the start of it. One aromantic person can have wildly different perspectives on certain activities than other aromantic person. And that’s okay.

Someone isn’t a “fake aromantic” if they’re comfortable with an activity you deem romantic, because they may view it as platonic or sexual- or maybe they’re just romance-favorable/neutral.

Aromanticism is an extremely personal and varying experience and that’s part of why it’s so beautiful.

[jackawful]

One of the most healing things I’ve strove (striven?) to do in my life is viewing sex as just another thing people do, among a host of other things like eating and pooping and playing with cats.

Our entire society, feminists and puritans alike, pushes the idea that sex is uniquely powerful and dangerous, capable of inflicting The Worst Trauma or the Highest Fulfillment, and that’s…just flat out untrue. Other experiences can cause similar trauma: violence, disasters, war, instability. Other experiences can result in transcendent pleasure: trance states, live music, non-sexual intimacy, tattoos.

I think this is where the disconnect in perception about sex positivity comes from, because the phrase itself makes people who already view sex as being uniquely powerful think sex positivity means viewing sex as uniquely good, when actually…it’s mostly about taking sex off that pedestal. Normalizing sex. Making it into just another thing people do. Because that’s the first step in making sure people can engage with sex on their own terms in a healthy way.

Taking sex off its cultural pedestal was the thing that allowed me to overcome the deeply-instilled shame I developed from being raised within Christian purity culture, and from being queer, and from existing as a woman. I think a failure to do that, in feminist circles, often leads to an overblowing of the (very real) harm that sex has the potential to do at the exclusion of other problems facing women and other marginalized groups, which often leads to more shaming rhetoric - just rhetoric that shames different people for different reasons.

Sex is not the enemy and it’s not our savior. It’s just one more thing people can do with their bodies.

[chibird]

One day at a time, little ghost. Good things can’t be rushed too fast!

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[wnq-typography]

Let Go!

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[inspiringsuccess]

🔥🔥🔥

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[thepuppyclub]

any advice for someone who isn't really that interesting?

you weren’t put on this earth to entertain people. live your life as a boring bitch to the fullest.

[quotemadness]

“When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.”

— Louis C.K.

[universi-tea]

Every year when January rolls around I have the urge to simplify – to start the new year fresh and clean and uncluttered. This doesn’t mean getting rid of everything (I’m faaaar from being a minimalist), just getting rid of the things that weigh you down. So, here’s the unofficial guide to simplifying without going full-on Marie Kondo. 

physical clutter

What’s the area in your room that stresses you out when you see it? Start there. A few quick tips on how to clean specific areas:

closet

Take allll your clothes out of your closet, wardrobe, or dresser

Put the things you know you’re keeping back in right away – your favorite jeans, that black dress you wear all the time, etc

Once you’re left with just the ‘maybes’, try every item on.

If you wouldn’t buy it all over again, it should probably go.

Don’t just toss what you don’t want, though! Donate it to a local thrift store, charity, or church with a community closet.

desk + shelves

Again, start by completely clearing off your desk and study area.

Go through your binders and make sure everything is in it’s correct place

Migrate materials from old classes into files out of the way if they’re important, or toss them if you won’t use them again.

 Make sure everything has a home – pencils should be in a bag or mug, papers in files or trays, and notebooks neatly stacked.

Make a point to clean your desk regularly!

If you have supplies you don’t need, donate them! Let’s be real – you have way more pens than you could ever use.

Books are also a wonderful thing to donate! Your local library or thrift shop would be my top pick. 

If you still have old textbooks laying around, list them on your school’s bulletin board to sell, since most thrift shops won’t accept them. 

under your bed

Let’s be real: most all of this can go. Grab a trash bag and toss anything that’s not important.

You can get one of those rolling tupperware under-the-bed organizers, or just stick what has to stay under there in a thin  cardboard box.

Be sure not to leave things loose under there, or you may end up with some unwanted pals living under there ~

digital clutter

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have a lot of digital clutter. It’s so easy to build it up and forget about all that you have stored on your computer!

Go through your phone and delete photos you don’t need, apps you don’t use, and old messages. 

Do a major computer overhaul! Delete old files and programs so that you have more space.

Put all your files into folders so that they’re easier to find later on.

Take a look through your friends and following lists, and delete all those people that post negative things.

mental clutter

This is the big one. Mental clutter comes from all of the above, plus just living your life. Some tips for decluttering your mind:

Do a nightly brain dump. Before you get into bed each night, open up your journal and write down everything that’s on your mind. Once it’s on paper, you can let it go until the morning. 

Find relaxing habits to practice everyday: yoga, taking a warm bath, going for a run, etc

Practice mindfulness or meditation

Keep a planner!

Practice not letting yourself harbor bad thoughts

Stay away from negative people if you can. You don’t need negative attitudes to be adding your already stressful life!

simplify your schedule

Learn to say ‘no’ more – if you don’t want to go to your friend’s-cousin’s-niece’s dance recital, don’t.

Streamline your daily routine;

Get ready faster by nixing the makeup you don’t love to put on and finding quick and easy hairstyles

Make an outfit idea board on Pinterest and fill it with outfits that you can make from pieces you already have in your closet so you spend less time finding an outfit 

Cook meals in advance when possible, or stick an easy meal in the crockpot before you leave for the day

Tidy every room just a bit before you leave it, so that you don’t have to devote an hour to cleaning it later on

Make time for you each week

See if there are any chores that you can outsource (eg, some grocery stores will shop for you for free, all you have to do is order online and go pick it up)

Don’t feel like you have to participate in something you don’t enjoy. If you don’t love the sport, don’t play it

I hope you all have a very simple and relaxing year, good luck to you all!