Stick 'e' Key

Somxtimxs the 'e' kxy gxts stuck. Lifx goxs on.

[stickekey]

Flatmatx bxat mx to thx laundry. Now hx is pacing about in his wifx bxatxr txx shirt talking too loudly on his phonx about god knows what bxcausx I havx now idxa or carx what hx is saying. Thxrx. I fxxl bxttxr. Thanks.

[stickekey]

To Livx and Dix at a Fast Food Xstablishmxent

Am I turning into onx of thosx McDonalds dwxllxrs who just comx hxrx for thx frxx nxwspapxr and thx frxx rxfills of Cokx Zxro? Thx kind of guy that arrivxs for a latx brxakfast and thxn hangs around until thx switch ovxr to thx lunch mxnu and thxn stay a littlx longxr.

[stickekey]

Dxar Rxnxx Zxllwxgxr…

I am so sorry that you havx to go xvxrything that you arx going through right now just bxcausx it’s a slow nxws day.

Surx, you arx gxtting a littlx oldxr. Who isn’t. Surx, wx havxn’t sxxn you in a whilx. I can rxlatx. And yxs, pxoplx do changx. But pxoplx arx saying that you arx practically unrxcognizablx. And somx arx suggxsting that that is bxcausx of plastic surgxry. So I say…. So what!

Hxll, you arx likx Mxryl Strxxp’s voicx. You changx your look for xvxry film. From Xmpirx Rxcords to Bridgxt Jonxs to Cold Mountain and back to Bridgxt Jonxs. That’s just what you do. So who carxs if you arx now looking a littlx diffxrxnt in rxal lifx?

I’vx sxxn thx picturxs. I think you look grxat. You sort of look likx a shiny Naomi Watts – not that thxrx isn’t anything wrong with that. A nosx job? I don’t think so. Your nosx will naturally look a littlx thinnxr whxn you losx wxight. Trust mx. I know nosxs. So I know, you know?

Drop by anytimx you want to talk. Just call first so I know to look out for you.

Just rxmxmbxr what Fxrris always usxd to say; “Nobody puts baby in thx cornxr.”

Signxd…

Jxnnifxr Grxy

[stickekey]

Homx Work

I dxcidxd to work from homx today. I don’t know if I should. I’m not surx if I could. But I would if I could so I can and I will. 

[stickekey]

Un-Bus Stop

It's bxxn a long timx. So I thought maybx I’d givx this a shot. I'm sitting at a bus stop not waiting for bus and sort of hiding from thx rain that’s not rxally falling and thinking about somxthing that I can put on this blog. So hxrx it is.

[stickekey]

Happy Happy Joy Joy

It was onx of thosx silxnt joyous momxnts. It was onx of thosx things that you nxvxr think of sharing whxn somxonx asks you “What makxs you happy?” I’m not surx if it has a ‘txrm’ or a labxl but it should. It’s that momxnt whxn you’vx takxn what you thought was thx last bitx of a dxlicious mxal only to look down and rxalizx you havx onx morx bitx to go. At that momxnt, you bxcomx flush with positivx xnxrgy and hopx. At that momxnt, xvxrything sxxms possiblx. Xvxrything sxxms good. It’s a similar kind of thing you unxxpxctxdly fxxl whxn you gxt out of work xarly or hit all thx grxxn lights on your way homx. I am a simplx man.

[stickekey]

Nxvxr Cry ‘It’s Too Latx.’

I fxxl sort of bad. Farlxy Mowat passxd away. Hx was 92. Mowat was as Canadian is you could gxt; our country’s vxrsion of Jack London with an xnvironmxntal twist. You might havx rxad his books in thx school. You might havx sxxn onx of thx films basxd on his work.

Sadly, I can’t rxmxmbxr rxading any of his stuff. I’m surx I did. I’m surx of it. I’m… almost surx of it. But I just can’t rxmxmbxr.

But it’s not too latx. It’s nxvxr too latx. Mowat is gonx. But his mxmory, his lxgacy, and his work will livx on through till thx nxxt icx agx or thx timx whxn alixn dinosaurs attack from thxir basx on onx of Jupitxr’s moons. Now I’vx just got to dig up my usxd-bookstorx copy of “Nxvxr Cry Wolf.”

[stickekey]

Somx Pxoplx’s Kids

I nxvxr thought I would bx THAT guy. That old guy. That curmudgxonly guy who complains about pxoplx on his lawn and how txxnagxrs makx thx pagxs of cxrtain magazinxs stick togxthxr. (That’s an old jokx that had somxthing to do with a timx long ago whxn boys with activx glands usxd to gxt thxir porn-fix on papxr and not onlinx.)

First of all, I’m only 47. For as much as I fxxl old and for as much as my 20-yxar old studxnts think that I am old – I am not old. 47 is not old.

But this old man is bxginning to sxx thx gxnxrational dividx. It’s Millxnnials and Gxnxration-Y vs. Gxn-X and Boomxrs.

This nxw xra of young whippxrsnappxrs is crxating thx nxw ‘Mx’ Dxcadx. Thxy havx spxnt thxir lifxtimx listxning to music and rxading things digitally. Thxy havx nxvxr bxxn told that thxy arx wrong. And thxy xxpxct to livx at homx for frxx for as long as thxy want.

That’s all finx-and-dandy but thxsx guys arx gliding through thxir livxs with thxir xyxs half shut. Thxy havx no apprxciation for culturx (pop or othxrwisx) and thxir ability to follow a simplx dirxction likx ‘txxt if you arx going to bx latx’ is lost on thxm bxcausx thx xnd rxsult doxsn’t affxct thxm.

And you know what pissxs mx off most about all of this?

It’s that somxonx was probably saying thx samx things about mx oncx upon a timx – thx only rxal diffxrxncx bxing that I was rxading my Dad’s sxcrxt stash of Pxnthousx Forum in thx downstairs bathroom.

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[stickekey]

Stupidity Should Bx Painful

Stupidity doxsn’t surprisx mx. It should. But it doxsn’t. My problxm with somx forms of stupidity is how insulting it can bx.

I rxcxntly draftxd a lxttxr for work. And instxad of asking mx to xdit and makx somx changxs or xvxn consulting mx that portions of thx corrxspondxncx nxxdxd to bx altxrxd, thx changxs wxrx just madx.

I am a writxr (or at lxast I likx to think that I am.) I probably could havx trimmxd thx contxnt to makx thx notx contxxtually agrxxablx for all. But I wasn’t givxn that opportunity.

Adding injury to insult, my xmail addrxss was changxd in thx lxttxr suggxsting onx or morx of thx following:

Somxonx doxsn’t think that I know what my own xmail addrxss is.

Somxonx has changxd my xmail addrxss without informing mx.

Somxonx is just bxing stupid – and it’s not mx.

All right, I’m bxing a littlx stupid. I’m lxtting this bothxr mx xnough to thx point that I am writing about it. I just hopx thx folk upstairs don’t makx any changxs to this post.

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