Frenchie Friday was on hiatus, and for that, we apologize. But, lo! We come bearing gifts of bold crinoline and fur, to make it up to you, gentle patrons of blood sports. Behold, bantamweight champion of the Bulldog world, #DaenerysTheFrenchie causing a ruckus at a D.C. Petco. They opened early just for her and her ridiculous Mrs. Claus costume. Thanks, Columbia Heights Petco! From all of us at Stiff Jab, may your holidays be filled with the joy that only comes from crop dusting Santa. Merry Kwanzukkah to all, and to all, a good fight.
This week: the guys come to grips with some distressing current events.
Also discussed: the anti-Melo CONSPIRACY, Phil Jackson's favorite movies, why Paul Pierce is so annoying, strobe light training, Honey Nut Cheerios, LeBron James, and MORE! Join us!
NBA Injury Report 84: Russell Westbrook’s Transcendence, Chandler Parsons’ Unrelenting Narcissism, and Boring Ass Trades
This week: Kevin Durant's self flagellation, LeBron James’ Halloween party, Ray Allen's retirement, Anthony Davis' hot start, and Joel Embiid's shooting technique.
Also discussed: Devin the Dude, Rihanna, Mormon word processors, XTC, filicide, anti-authoritarian sex, Uranus' orbit, and the fluidity of language.
NBA Injury Report 82: Knicks Season Preview, Chris Herring, and the Gradual Dismantling of the Whaling Industry
This week: Brad and James preview the 2016-17 Knicks season with Chris Herring of the Wall Street Journal. It's a gem of a 'sode filled with insight, chuckles, sighs, hehe's, and "oh?"s. You'll love it!
Also discussed: Thriller, flu shots, James getting assaulted on the subway, flashy urns, Howard Stern's Private Parts, Hell, apartment fires, Frank Ocean, Leonard Cohen, Everlast, and MORE! Join us!
NBA Injury Report 80: NBA Cabinet, Danny Brown, and Lady Liberty 2K16
Brad and James are joined by Stu and Evan to perform their most solemn of civic duties: electing an NBA Cabinet for the 2016-17 season! Who will be President? Who will be Secretary of Education? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!
Also discussed: Kinder Eggs, Danny Brown, David Crosby, John Mayer, Derek Jeter, Kardashian truthers, and MORE! Join us!
NBA Injury Report 79: Parody Gone Awry, Spoiled Warriors Fans, and Supreme Clientele vs Fishscale
On this week’s ‘sode, Brad and James discuss Sam Hinkie’s first tweets, NBA2K17, and accidentally making your loved ones think you’re going to harm yourself.
ALSO DISCUSSED: The Warriors' 3-1 meme, bucket hats, Melo's regression to the mean, and MORE!
Washington, D.C. welterweight Dusty Hernandez-Harrison (30–0–1, 16 KOs) scored the biggest win of his career on Thursday night with a thrilling ten-round unanimous decision win over Thomas “Cornflake” LaManna (21–2, 9 KOs) of Millville, New Jersey in the main event of a CBS Sports Network televised card at the 2300 Arena in Philadelphia.
Hernandez-Harrison, 22, was coming off a disputed draw against Mike Dallas Jr. on May 13 at the DC Armory in a fight many thought Dallas won. LaManna, 24, was riding a five-fight win streak coming into this fight while gradually dropping down in weight after suffering his first professional loss in a middleweight bout by sixth-round TKO to Antoine Douglas on ShoBox in March 2015.
Hernandez-Harrison and LaManna sparred in 2014 and consider each other friends, having known each other for a long time. They put their friendship aside for one night and brawled for the better part of the ten rounds in a very compelling matchup between the young prospects. It was evident both wanted this win badly, knowing the winner would nudge himself closer to being a contender and a big fight, with the loser having to start from square one.
Much like the Dallas fight, Hernandez-Harrison did not let his hands go much in the first couple rounds. The difference in this fight was Hernandez-Harrison used lateral movement and feints to stay out of range of LaManna’s punches in the early going. Against Dallas he stayed stationary and absorbed heavy leather without firing back many shots of his own. Hernandez-Harrison had to get a feel for the taller LaManna’s timing and range, as the 6-foot tall Hernandez-Harrison is not accustomed to being the shorter pugilist inside the squared circle. LaManna used his 6’2” frame to jab effectively and land some combinations while walking Hernandez-Harrison down and trying to cut off the ring.
Hernandez-Harrison swung the momentum in the third round by standing his ground and letting his hands go more. Hernandez-Harrison landed numerous punishing body shots and overhand rights. Hernandez-Harrison became the fighter doing the stalking, as he came forward and got the better of the exchanges on the inside against LaManna. The pair’s punch output was about the same, but Hernandez-Harrison was the quicker and harder-hitting fighter. His punches were sharper and more thudding than LaManna’s throughout the contest, which gave him the edge in most of the rounds.
The action really heated up in the seventh round, with sustained toe-to-toe action for all three minutes, including both being stunned in the round. The frenetic pace continued the rest of the fight. It became a battle of attrition, both testing the others will. The pair hugged to begin the final frame and went right back to trading bombs until the final bell rang. Both combatants face’s showed the signs of the war they just engaged in. There was bruising and swelling around both of LaManna’s eyes and some redness and swelling near Hernandez-Harrison’s left eye.
Hernandez-Harrison won the fight by scores of 98-92, 97-93, and 97-93. It was a nice bounce back win for Hernandez-Harrison after the tough fight against Dallas. He sets himself up for a big fight to either close out 2016 or in the early part of 2017.
NBA Injury Report 77: Most Interesting Eastern Conference Teams, Kanye West, and Racist Fast Food Chains
Brad and James rank the most interesting teams in the Eastern Conference as they pregame for the Kanye show at MSG. Also discussed: quintessential NY movies, stealing from 7-11, ironic t-shirts, The Smoking Gun, Cape Cod, Dick's Picks and MORE! Join us!
Canecão theatre in Rio de Janeiro, a derelict concert hall where occupiers hold nightly performances and weekly planning meetings.
Photos by Sue Jaye Johnson
by Sarah Deming and Sue Jaye Johnson
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil--We went to Rio to see the Olympics and saw so much more. Here is a tribute à la Gil Scott-Heron to the three-month-old artists’ occupation protesting the seizure of power by President Michel Temer.
Protesters were divided in their opinions of ex-President Dilma Rousseff of the left-wing Workers’ Party, whom the Senate Wednesday voted to impeach, but united in their belief that life for the Brazilian poor will worsen under Temer and his conservative TMDB Party.
Among Temer’s first official actions in office were the closing of the Ministries of Culture, Agrarian Reform, and Human Rights.
Canecão became the Refugee House on the penultimate night of the Olympics.
You will not be able to cheer from ringside, sister.
You will not be able to plug in, log on and zone out.
You will not be able to binge on beach volleyball and Caipirinhas at the corporate lounge,
Because the revolution is a dance party.
Brazil’s media landscape is dominated by Grupo Globo, controlled by the three Marinho brothers, each worth $5.4 billion. The Marinhos are openly critical of the Workers’ Party and advocating for TMDB control of the country.
The revolution will not require a Visa card.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Petrobras and McDonalds’ Delicious new Petroleum McMeal Deal.
The revolution will not feature slo-mo replays of Michael Phelps’ Speedo, Simone Biles’ eyeliner, and Ryan Lochte pissing in the pool,
Because the revolution is a dance party, sister.
"This is the worst time in Brazil since the military dictatorship. You cannot just be an artist anymore. You have to know where you stand.” – Julia, member of Ocupa MinC RJ (Creation Committee)
The revolution is a dance party.
The revolution will not disqualify you for banned substance.
The revolution will not take away your gear.
The revolution will not divide you into heats based on chromosomes, kilograms, or the extent of your paralysis.
You can feel free to jump the gun, start slow, and fade late,
Because the revolution is a dance party, sister.
Artists perform nightly to protest the Senate impeachment of Rousseff on charges of corruption. According to Transparencia Brasil, 58% of the House and 60% of the Senate themselves face charges or have been convicted for offenses including drug trafficking, rape and murder.
There is no velvet rope at the door of the revolution,
Just a beautiful boy in a plastic bag raincoat.
The revolution is house music for the houseless,
A sea of kites, a samba master, a mermaid formation.
You can talk Temer with topless girls, buy cake from the children of slaves.
The revolution will not shame you.
This is a Brazilian revolution.
“Our art is a political act. This is a house where we are creating a democratic exercise." – Barbara, member of Ocupa MinC RJ (Communication Committee)
There will be no highlights of the police razing Vila Autodromo to make way for the Games.
There will be no highlights of Doña Maria, staring down the bulldozers on International Women’s Day.
There will be no bronze medals for irony.
There will be no silver medals for long memory.
There will be no gold medals for good losers.
Brazil, with the world’s eighth largest economy, has one of the highest levels of income inequality in the world.
Conor McGregor Edges Nate Diaz in a Fantastic Fight
by Dr. Octagon, J.D.
Time for the UFC 202 main event between Conor McGregor and Nate Diaz.
Conor comes out to some Irish warbling that turns into a rap song. Pretty much everyone is picking this fight for Nate, but the MMA gods are fickle and like to turn expectations on their head. Despite the outcome of the first fight, anything can happen in this sport and Conor held one of the longest camps I’ve ever heard to prepare for Diaz.
The current narrative is that Nate just stepped off a boat after drinking tequila in Mexico with Gilbert Melendez, ate everything Conor could dish out and still defeated him in the first. Nate does look more fit for this rematch.
As everyone knows there are two documented ways to beat a Diaz brother: kicking and rasslin’. Conor’s not much for rasslin’ so his ideal game plan would be to leg kick and circle away a la Carlos Condit against Nick Diaz or to aim for head kicks a la Josh Thompson against Nate Diaz.
There is security in the center of the ring, which I haven’t seen since latter-day Mike Tyson after he started doing crazy shit. I forget exactly which fight. It’s a bunch of theater on the UFC’s part, sort of like the cops they had onstage at the weigh-in. As if these guys would be chucking lattes at each other pre-fight if there wasn’t a ton of security in the ring.
Live coverage after the jump:
Round 1: Conor comes out with leg kicks. Nate lands a punch to the body. Nate is throwing some weak-ass leg kicks. Conor chopping away at the leg. Diaz checks a leg kick!
Conor lands a big left hand, then another one and Nate is on his ass, but Conor doesn’t want to follow him to the ground. Conor fighting much more patiently this time around.
Nate lands a left hand. Nate lands a shot to the body. Conor lands a big left to the body. The fighters exchange again. Conor lands another big left. Nate’s coming forward with some shots. Conor lands a big left to the body. Tons of leg kicks. Good game plan for Conor. Conor lands another leg kick, Diaz lands a left hand.
Diaz’s right eye is cut again, just like the first fight. Nate lands a jab. Conor lands a big right hand.
10-9 McGregor.
Round 2: Nate’s checking leg kicks now. He lands a right hand. Conor lands a right and scores another knockdown, but doesn’t want to go down on the ground.
Nate lands a jab, Conor lands a left to the body. Nate lands a right hook, but it was really slow. Nate is pushing forward, but Conor is weathering it so far. Nate is following Conor around the ring, beating him up against the cage and bleeding on the Irishman. Fucking Nate Diaz man. He just keeps coming forward. Conor is fighting a perfect fight tactically, but Diaz is still in his face.
10-9 Conor, but Diaz is coming on strong and Conor looks tired.
Round 3: Conor looks gassed. Does he have another big left hand? Nate is smiling and pointing. He pushes Conor against the cage again. Crowd is now chanting “Diaz”.
Conor is slapping his ear. The fighters break. Conor lands another big punch. Conor lands a leg kick. Conor lands a left. Diaz shakes it off. Conor is walking away sd Diaz lands one. Conor tries to land a spin kick while Diaz is talking shit to him, but Diaz catches it and pushes him up against the cage again.
Diaz drops to a double, but Conor defends. Conor lands a big elbow. Now they’re slow dancing against the cage. Nate lands a pair of punches on the break. Conor is turning and walking away. Diaz still coming forward. Diaz lands again. Conor looks extremely tired. He’s not even really keeping his hands up. Nate is pouring it on against the fence. He lands a huge body shot, then a knee. Conor is fucked up and lucky that the horn sounds to end the round.
10-9 for Nate Diaz.
Round 4: What a fight! Conor’s corner told him that he’s winning in the clinch. He’s not and he’s tired as fuck. The last thing he wants to do is start clinching with a guy like Diaz who can go another five rounds.
Nate’s face is cut up, as it always is. Nate is wiping his face.He’s still coming forward though. Conor looks flat-footed. Nate ducks under a big left and lands a bunch of punches. Conor lands a jab. Conor lands a push kick. Diaz’s face is a mask of blood.
Conor lands two body shots. Conor lands a bunch of punches. Not sure how well Nate can see. Nate working for the takedown, but Conor is defending. Diaz is landing shots against the cage. Conor lands a nice elbow. Diaz lands a knee. Conor turns him around. Nate lands a big left that rocks Conor.
McGregor looks fresh again somehow. He lands a big left to close the round.
10-9 for Conor McGregor.
Round 5: The right lands for McGregor. Conor throws a flying knee. Nate pushes him against the cage. Diaz is covered in blood. Nate pushes Conor against the cage again. Nate goes for a takedown, but doesn’t get it.
Nate’s following Conor around the cage, but he’s still throwing. Nate has Conor against the cage and lands a bunch of punches. Big right hand as Conor looks at how much time is left. Nate’s trying for a takedown again. He should just keep punching. He does keep punching.
Conor trips Diaz, Nate gets up and puts Conor’s back against the cage once more. Announcer Goldberg calls this the biggest fight in MMA history. It’s definitely one of the best fights in MMA history. Diaz takes down Conor and batters him as the round ends. Diaz helps McGregor up.
This is definitely one off the best fights I’ve seen in a long time.
10-9 Diaz.
These scores are going to hinge on whether the judges gave the second to Nate after that late flurry. My scoring should be taken with a grain of salt since I’m furiously typing. No matter what happens, people are going to be arguing about this one on the internet forever.
Official scores: 48-47 McGregor, 47-47, and 48-47 McGregor. Conor McGregor wins by split decision.
Stiff Jab official scorecard: 48-47 for Conor McGregor.
I think the win for McGregor was the right call, but what a close fight. Diaz’s cuts on his eyes seemed to be the difference maker.
Conor McGregor wants to fight Diaz again at 155. These guys are making each other millions of dollars
“They can’t have a motherfucker like me win. I’m too real for this shit. He should have finished me off,” Diaz said. Nate wants another shot. I’m sure it will sell a shitload of Pay Per Views. Great outcome for the UFC’s new corporate overlords.
UFC 202 Undercard:
Glover Teixeira came out and almost immediately walked into a terrifyingly massive uppercut from Anthony “Rumble” Johnson, the hardest hitter in the light heavyweight division
Teixeira was unconscious before he hit the ground. Officially a 13-second KO. That’s a title shot for Rumble. He chides the boys from the 209 for their antics at the press conference. Class act, Rumble Johnson.
Quick fight, maybe they’ll plug in the Monsoon fight from Fightpass. Nope, Chick Magnet Punk commercial. Can’t wait to see a thirty-seven year old who has never fought against a guy with a 2-0 record on a PPV card. Did you know that decorated martial artists Fabricio Werdum and Urijah Faber are fighting on this card? Nah, who cares.
CM Punk seems like an honest guy and it’s great that he’s trying something new, but does it really need to be on the main card? Yes it does, because it’ll probably be his first and last fight, and that’s the only way to separate WWE fans from their hard-earned cash now that Brock popped for a banned substance.
Oh maybe they’ll plug a fight in now. Nope Chick Magnet Punk commercial is followed by a Hands of Stone movie commercial. I love it when I pay seventy bucks for this shit and they still manage to put a bunch of commercials into it.
Donald Cerrone looks undersized at 170 lbs. in the cage with Rick Story. Rick Story looked decent in the first round (still think Cerrone probably won it though), but in the second round, Cerrone’s superior striking made the difference.
Story looked tired and Cerrone landed a punch to the stomach, a punch to the face, and a kick to the face in quick succession. Really great combination. He then swarmed on Story, kneed him in the face and finished the fight on the ground. Cerrone then says he wants to go back down to 155 lbs. to get the belt from Eddie Alvarez.
Tim “Dirty Bird” Means had a triumphant return from a tainted supplement scandal, where he was flagged for a banned substance and then his supplement company was acting so sketchy that USADA cut his suspension down to six months. He lit up Sabah Homasi with some really crisp elbows and left him a bloody mess before referee Herb Dean stopped the fight in the second round.
Tales of redemption abound as Mike Perry, who started training after getting out of prison, smoked the more experienced Hyun Gyu Lim. Perry looked like he was a weight class or two below Lim when the two were in the cage together. He also had to bite off one of his fingernails on the way into the cage since it was too long.
It didn’t look promising for Perry, but he was able to close the distance and land bombs both on the feet and on the ground to win by stoppage.
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