innocent ?

you wish i was.

[stigmatm]

undelfy‌:

“SPEAK   OF   THE   DEVIL   AND   HE   SHALL   APPEAR   ,”   isaiah   hissed   ,   eyed   narrowing   at   the   revelation   of   just   who   was   in   front   of   him.   “forgive   me   for   not   being   a   ray   of   sunshine.   i’m   going   through   things   right   now.”   grimacing   at   the   other   ,   he   resigned   himself   to   his  fate   ,   squeezing   his   body   down   into   the   booth   ,   almost   trying   to   make   himself   disappear.   “i   don’t   need   to   get   laid.   don’t   be   foul.   will   they   get   my   work   done   ,   too  ?   absolutely   not.”

a scoff. “ wow, the devil? now that’s flattering, last time i checked the devil was a fallen angel so to think i’m suck a devious beauty? never thought you’d be one for compliments. ” with a sip of his beer he was nonchalant in keeping his presence there, ready to bother the everloving shit of that man who just needed to get a grip, because of how endlessly ridiculous he sounded. “ there’s people you can hire for that too. you keep forgetting of the power a good stash of green can do, man ━━so my point still stands. ”

[stigmatm]

time to introduce 2 more of my endless list of bangtan babies honesty will i ever stop? i doubt so

song jiseok ♥ ???, seelie prince ( min yoongi fc )

( tw: abuse and experimentaton ) he was the most beautiful prince but he had the misfortune of being born from a father whose hunger for power made him blind. he wanted to please his father so much he let the man abuse him through horrific experiments in order to make faefolk stronger in times of war, only ending up breaking the son completely, and now having to hide that with excuses of the young faeling himself ‘being sick’ when the truth is just muc, much more horrible.

seo daehyun ♥ 23, student ( jeon jeongguk fc )

( tw: gunshots, depression ) once a solar student usually moving back and forth from korea and kola and with a passion for dancing and cheerleading, he got convinced to attend the obiigatory military service in korea with the promise of his parents ( two rich ceos of a big conglomerate ) that they’d pay him dance lessons once he was done. all his dreams ended abruptly when he got shot in the leg by one of his comrades, which had him receive surgery that left him unable to dance and deprived of any joy in life

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

“please,  saving  my  ass  is  the  highlight  of  your  week.  bet.  can’t  fool  me,  jun,”  jaehyun  retorts  cheekily,  “—and  how’d  you  get  him  so  hung  up  on  your  ass?  know  what,  don’t  answer  that.  don’t  wanna  know.”  the  planked  walk  down  the  docks  is  full  of  ropes,  buckets,  ice  chests,  and  bodies,  all  hot  and  sweaty  in  the  tight  space.  jaehyun  kicks  his  board  up  into  his  hand  to  walk  the  rest  of  the  way,  boat  shoes  padding  against  the  puddles. “yeah  you  do.  can  smell  you  from  here  and  i’m  staring  at  a  bucket  of  sharkbait,  man.  rank.”  finding  his  boat,  jaehyun  hops  down  into  the  schooner  and  swoops  low  to  duck  a  mast,  “m’pickin  up  my  check  now  from  captain  scarface.  think  you  can  get  all  pretty  and  meet  me  at  newbie’s  in  thirty–forty  minutes?”

one day the large mouth jaehyun seemed to be gifted —or rather cursed— with was going to be the death of him, and it was actually a thought junsu found himself not being that fond of. perhaps because of how he had grown attached to the other which he knew could become a problem later on. but he was going to make sure no one knew... or that they’d die before even doing anything. “ yeah, yeah, thank you and your super senses for confirming my need for a wash. ” he’d yap right back at the earplug, sliding onto the streets with his bike already to return home. “ i should be able to do that. differently from you, i know how to take a short shower. ”

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

howie  stands  in  the  massacre  like  he’s  standing  in  a  goddamn  parking  lot.  boys  and  girls  did  a  number  on  this  one  -  some  loudmouth  fucker  with  hands  too  slippery.  gross  guy,  really.  did  some  dirty  shit,  so  howie  had  him  done  dirty  back.  stepping  carefully  around  the  mangled  remnants  of  a  body  in  a  chair,  howie  takes  out  his  trusty  zippo  and  flicks  it  to  life,  lights  up  a  menthol.  his  eyes  glaze  over,  get  that  distant  looking  look  to  them  as  cool  grey  wisps  curl  in  front  of  his  face.  “liked   that  thing  a  lot,”  he  murmurs,  waving  a  hand  to  the  rug.  “some  kinda  indian  design.  real  nice.  told  ‘em  before  they  left  not  to  get  anything  on  the  goddamn  rug.”   |   ( @stigmatm )

clearly the other was pissed, but it wasn’t his fault —no, he was the one supposed to clean all of that mess, to set fire onto the evidences and cutting corpses into tiny pieces to see them melt and stench the entire troposphere with their nauseating miasma. simply standing behind with his handibag and a few people meant to help him with the deal, his eyes glancing at the area as he let out a small sigh. “ i’ll see if it can be salvaged. i highly doubt so as im no rug-dealing mofo, but i guess an attempt can be done since i’m at it. ” he moved forward, bag dropped onto the nearest armchair, enough to pull down a set of pvc gloves and an apron —fixing them onto himself while gesturing the two behind him to take the carpet outside of the room. things were going to get even bloodier. “ do i go with the usual ? or do we just cut and dump in the river ? ”

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

“nah,  i  think  that  little  doodley-doo  sounds  better  in  front  of  chorus.  builds  into  the  change.”  they’re  sitting  in  a  recording  studio  at  the  station,  bulky  computers  and  equipment  crammed  into  a  space  the  size  of  a  closet  with  a  sad  suede  couch  and  sick  potted  plant.  lucas  isn’t  sure  if  it’s  in  his  job  description  to  water  it.  he  should  ask.  yet,  he  turns  his  back,  lifts  the  wet-sticky  joint  to  his  lips  for  a  hit,  “but  fuck  if  i  know,  right?”  a  gesture  to  the  sounding  board,  an  open  invitation  as  lucas  falls  back  against  the  wrinkled  leather  chair,  “what  do  you  think?”    |   ( @stigmatm )

“ well, after last time with you and your drum kicks? i better take anything you say with a fuckin’ toothpick, man. ” small little banter from the smaller’s lips, his figure still hunched over the screen as he tried to look within the various strings of chorus and building music, effects and countereffects. “ i still think you wanting to layer three types of drum kicks when you could have recorded a new one was pretty much you trying to emulate some kind of satanic ritual. ” cue hoseok clicking his tongue, humming along the draft base as it played. “ works fine, but the synth note placed like that in the middle of the bridge feels just ugly. ”

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

“blah,  blah.   you’re  saying  all  these  words  and  i  really  don’t  care  what  they  mean.  the   point  is:  i’m  the  sickest  boarder  you  know,  dude.”  pause.  “unless  you  personally  know  hawk  or  huston,  which  ya  don’t  ‘cause  ya  lame.”  jaehyun  pops  up  on  a  bench  to  avoid  a  family  photograph  and  lands  with  a  flourish,  wheels  clacking.  when  he  runs  out  of  pier,  jaehyun  hooks  a  right  back  towards  the  docks.  “anyone  you  fuck  is  bad  news,  buddy,”  jaehyun  teases.  “not  my  fault  you  don’t  listen  to  me.  which  you  should——”  cuts  off  at  junsu’s  cursing  on  the  other  end,  confused.  “shit,  man,  you  mean  a  job  job?  like,  your  job?  dude.  why  the  fuck  would  you  even  answer,  that’s  totally  weird.”  the  phrase  hitman  flashes  behind  jaehyun’s  eyes  and  he  gives  a  shiver,  skidding  to  an  abrupt  stop  in  the  middle  of  the  sidewalk.  he  glances  around  like  someone’s  following  him,  voice  dropping  low,  “—does  this  mean  we’re  not  meeting  at  newbie’s  for  $5 bucket  shrimp  night?  ‘cause  i  was  kinda  bankin  on  that.”

“ believe what you want, what can i say —you always do whatever you want regardless of what i might say in the matter. but then don’t complain about needing me to save your ass from whatever shit you poked with a stick. and just so you know, i fuck no one. too busy between babysitting you and my job to have a fling. ” there was amusement in his tone, slight but perceivable —still better than the disgruntled noise leaving his lips as he quickly collected his stuff from the rooftop’s floor and shoved them into his handibag, grabbing it while striding back inside and down to a floor where he could easily slide into an elevator. “ it was just recog. nothing too final yet. i’m leaving now so i’ll be able to be around to meet at newbie’s. just need a fucking shower. ”

[stigmatm]

undelfy‌:

ALISTAIR’S   NOSE   SCRUNCHED   UPWARDS   as   the   other   spoke   his   name   aloud.   his   given   name   was   not   one   he   enjoyed   hearing   ,   as   it   was   usually   accompanied   by   the   disappointed   tone   of   his   father.   “just  call   me   lee   ,   haseo.   alistair   makes   me   sound   eighty   ,   don’t   you   think   ?”   he   pouted   for   a   moment   ,   before   rose   lips   stretched   into   a   soft   grin.   “that   sounds   way   too   complicated   for   me   to   understand   ,   but   i   don’t   think   i   need   to   other   than   ‘i   can   eat.’”   he   stood   ,   stretching   a   hand   out   so   haseo   could   take   it.   “c’mon   ,   i’m   taking   you   to   the   best   burger   place   ever.   your   ,   er   ,   burners   ?   they’re   gonna   light   up   with   taste.”

“ oh——okay, lee-ssi. i do not think your name is antiquated as you’d believe, but i respect your comfort and request, my apologies. ” he should have piqued the other’s annoyance sooner, so that the unneeded correction would remain like that —unneeded. but perhaps committing mistakes was part of the developing a humane understanding, he processed, letting his own hand move to grasp at the other ever so cautiously. his body could simulate warmth if so was desired, but most of the times he was like that —cold to the touch and yet so incredibly soft, real. “ burgers? i hope they’ll taste as good as you claim, it would be a disappointment if i couldn’t enjoy them just like you do. ”

[teahyngie]

“It was the first fissure in the columns that upheld my childhood, which every individual must destroy before he can become himself. Such fissures and rents grow together again, heal and are forgotten, but in the most secret recesses, they continue to live and bleed.” — Demian

[samwol]

[minbuwuty]

beautiful💐

[softjeon]

i love (1) boy | cr. ZardEXC (twt)

[stigmatm]

undelfy‌:

@stigmatm

A    COLD   AND   NEARLY   EMPTY   DINER   was   not   where   any   normal   person   would   enjoy   be   spending   their   afternoon   ,   but   isaiah   was   no   normal   person   ,   &   quiet   solitude   was   something   he   was   usually   thankful   for.   his   fork   scraped   against   his   plate   ,   playing   with   the   few   leftovers   still   on   there   as   his   mind   reeled   with   all   the   work   he’d   had   this   week.   and   still   ,   there   was   more   :   more   cases   ,   more   trailing   after   strangers   to   find  out   &   then   expose   all   their   little   secrets.   a   near   -   non   existent   sigh   left   him.   at   least   i   have   the   silence   in   this   little   booth   ,   he   thought.   &   almost   on   cue   ,   as   if   he’d   summoned   them   ,   someone   had   sat   across   from   him.   without   looking   up   from   his   plate   ,   he   hissed   out   ,   “do   you   not   see   every   other   empty   booth   in   this   place   ,    or   did   you   not   care  ?”

“ god if the years passing have made you such an insufferable bitch —you totally need to get laid. ” would that count as boundary crossing ? he was really sure it probably counted as such given their way too opposite factions, but truth be told he really seemed to care like he never really cared about plethora of things —beer still chilly in his gloved hand as he dared flopping ever so unceremoniously right in front of that one detective he’s been just loving to tease. lips exposed for a moment as the face mask was pulled to collect around his chin, taking a few quick swigs of the drink. “ i could pinpoint a few people who would give you the time of your life at a very reasonable price —and according to your tastes, of course. ain’t a bitch about it. ”

[stigmatm]

undelfy‌:

@stigmatm

TO   FIND   SOMETHING   NOT   QUITE   HUMAN   was   always   one   of   alistair’s   goals.   when   he   was   younger   he’d   dreamed   of   being   the   first   person   to   truly   meet   any   of   the   urban   legends   which   would   make   their   way   to   him.   but   never   would   he   have   thought   it   would   happen   the   way   it   did  ,   how   it   did   ,   with   who   it   did.   sure   ,   haseo   wasn’t   bigfoot   ,   but   that   didn’t   matter   because   lee   hadn’t   ever   met   bigfoot   -   &   he   had   met   haseo.   but   he   couldn’t   think   of   anything   to   say.   the   other   could   actually   respond   to   him   ,   &   for   what   had   to   be   a   first   in   his   life   ,   he   was   rendered   near   speechless.   luckily   ,   his   stomach’s   monstrous   growl   seemed   to   speak   for   him.  “so   ,   um   ,   i’m   kinda   hungry.”   he   cleared   his   throat   ,   one   hand   coming   up   to   rub   at   his   hair.  “wanna   go   for   a   bite   ?   oh   ,   shit   ,   wait   !   can   you   eat  ?”

haseo’s skin shone under the lights like cold-toned caramel, a delightful hue complimenting the curls of his hair and the sharp, glowing azure of his eyes —always so soft-looking and inviting the touch, for it was made to resemble real skin, to feel real against one’s touch and perhaps solidify te idea of an illusion rather than breaking it. he was programmed to, after all, living up to his guests’ expectations, even when his memory was damaged and he couldn’t recall who created him, or why he was put to sleep for so long. he for sure was aware that if it wasn’t for alistair, he’d be still within old, mot-devoured blankets, somewhere deep in the city hall’s basement and not right next to alistair like he was now attentive orbs giving a slight glint as his head tilted aside for one moment as if catching information for his mainframe. “ my——system is provided with a burner that consumes whatever is ingested through my mouth and uses the provided energies as fuel—so it is safe to assume i can simulate eating, yes. ” his voice chirped out, rosy lips in a tiny smile. “ hence i can come along with you, alistair-ssi. ”

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

his  smile’s  a  little  tight,  “thanks  for  the  psychology  lesson,  doc.”  mean.  he  regrets  it  as  soon  as  he  says  it.  solbin’s  the  only  one  here,  now.  paid  to  be  here,  but——here.  “sorry,  i  just—”  no,  christian  doesn’t  like  that,  either.  apologizing.  running  a  hand  over  his  face,  christian  pushes up  off  the  bed  and  heads  out  the  door  without  a word.  the  apartment’s  dark  and  he  hasn’t  been  here  in  months,  but  it  isn’t  hard  to  find  his  way  to  the  liquor  cabinet  in  the  kitchen.  making a  drink’s  like  muscle  memory.  tumblers,  scotch,  three  cubes  of  ice.  pinch  of  sugar  for  his  own  because  it  makes  it  go  down  smoother.  when  he  finds  solbin  again,  christian  offers  the  drink  without  a  word.  “got  unopened  wine  in  the  fridge  if  that’s—safer.  fuck,  i  don’t  know.”  feeling  a  right  and  proper  mess,  christian  slides  a  hand  in  his  pocket  and  turns  to  the  window,  glass  at  his  lips.  

of course that sentence stung, and it was clear in the way solbin’s eyes just looked down and any movement of his hand reached a halt, as if regretting ever opening his mouth to begin with. he should have known better. he should have known the other just wanted him to look pretty and smile, and not to ever remotely say something that wasn’t some pre-organized sentence series. he wouldn’t move from the side of the bed he was occupying, barely aware of where the other had been—the noise of bottles opened and dripping liquid against glass making him flinch, wince ever so visibly when then the other had returned to offer him a glass of whaterver liquor was invading his nostrils and making his head spin. “ i——no. no alcohol, please, just... no. ” it was the first time he’d actively reject something, but he just couldn’t. it reminded him of his father. of the ache and the uselessness. he just couldn’t. 

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

“shut  the  fuck  up,  what  do  you  know?”  as  if  to  prove  his  point,  jaehyun  flips  the  board.  the  landing’s  smooth  and  he  looks  over  his  shoulder  with  triumph—only  to  realize  there’s  no  one  there.  “just  so  we’re  clear,  i  totally  smoked  your  ass  just  now.  hate  that  you  missed  it.”  he  makes  a  hmph  sound   and  rolls  down  the  boardwalk.  a  few  tourist  throw  dirty  looks  in  his  path  but  jaehyun  just  peace  signs  his  way  on.  “that’s  harsh,  man.  garbage,  really?  ah—tried  to  tell  your  ass  before  we  left  he  was  bad  news.  you  see  that  pathetic  ponytail?  still  got  it,  too.”  he  snorts,  remembering  the  look  of  the  guy.  slick  and  grease  under  heavy  neon,  smelling  like  expensive  cigarettes  and  wearing  a  goddamn  polo.  “poser,  man.  orange  skin  and  fake.”  he  swishes  around  a  baby  stroller  and  pushes  forward.  “ …  no?  wanted  you  to  hear  the  melodious  sound  of  my  voice  of’course.  bring  a  little  blessing  to  your  day.  tch.  what  else  you  got  to  do,  huh?”

snort ensued. typical jaehyun. “ i know enough to make an accurate profile of you for whoever might want to pin a donkey tail up you ass. ” and while he normally would even waste those ten, twenty minutes listening to the surfer before promptly cutting the call short and being perfectly aware that the other was going to be whining at his hideout’s doorstep —which could be counterproductive, but if there was one thing he could trust about the guy was that he knew how to keep a secret... somehow. there were things that just couldn’t seem to have a logic when it came to jaehyun —maybe he really was some cryptid. “ i just gotta love how at first you thought i was sleeping wit the guy, and now you’re saying he’s bad news. work on that coherence, buddy. ” suddenly a frown, his hand grasping at the binoculars to give a check to the spot where he had left his target —only for him not to be there. “ god fucking dammit—— ” curse under his breath, trying to calm down with a deep breath. “ i was in the middle of a job, jae. not exactly the biggest moment for you to bust in. i’ll have to try and get that fucker later, now. ”

[stigmatm]

nostlicias‌:

christian  turns  his  head,  cheek  against  the  silk  comforter.  this  high  from  the  street,  it’s  quiet.  not  even  the  sound  of  an  air  conditioning.  just  his  own  breathing,  just  solbin  climbing  onto  the  bed.  his  eyes  flutter  closed  when  a  small,  warm  palm  presses  against  his  cheek,  “i’m  not  having  a  panic  attack.”  he  says.  means  it.  opens  his  eyes  again  and  looks  at  solbin.  “i  just—”   doesn’t  know  how  to  put  it  into  words,  what  he  wants  and  needs.  doesn’t  know  what’s  okay  to  ask  for  when  paying  for  someone’s  time and attention.  “can  we  …”  his  brow  knits,  frustrated  at  himself  and  he  turns  to  look  back  up  at  the  ceiling.  focuses  on  his  breathing  like  solbin  said.  he  wises  they’d  gone  back  to  kola  instead  of  staying  in  los  angeles  for  the  night.  should’ve  taken  the  flight  back.  but—  “lay  here  for  a  moment.  mope  with  me  a  bit.”  a  smile  cracks  across  the  seriousness  of  his  expression  but  doesn’t  quite  reach  his  eyes,  “always  like  this.  a  few  moments  and  i’ll  be  good  as  new.”

“ not all panic attacks are flashy. sometimes they’re all in your head, but outside ou just look fine. ” sometimes the mind would just go on a craze and things wouldn’t show until the door behind would close and the draining sensation would spread like wildfire. panic wasn’t always with convulsions or tears, or heavy breathing. sometimes it was a mental tsunami, and that was as harmful as an other form of panic. maybe it wasn’t his place to speak since the other was the one who had the money and the power, but he still felt like giving his little input —and doe eyes would remain onto the other, cautious in their observation, feeling that chest heaving and how much it must be aching. “ deep breaths. ” an encouragement. “ we can lay down for as long as you need. ”

[stigmatm]

hvrricanc‌:

irina clicked her tongue. “ low? on hot dogs? at only nine pm? “ on the end of a twelve hour flight, hunger quickly seeped into anger & cravings only worsened the severity. she addressed the person before her in line, “ hey! if you don’t order the last one, i’ll buy you a beer. “

talking about weird things happening at the airport —he was just in line to get his hot dog after a goddamn half-day long flight, just to console himself over the fact the flight has been literal hell and had no alcohol to deliver, so he wasn’t even expecting the girl behind her to actually make the crazy proposal, which made him grin underneath the face mask. “ you better keep the promise, ‘cause i’m quite hungry and i’m giving up a part of my meal for a good drink. ”