Seventh

[chaos-monkeyy]

okay, let's poll-write some silly smut together!!! 🍾 And yes I am absolutely making this entire approach up as I go along, I have no idea where it will wind up, so we'll find out if it works 😅

Starting the ride off with...

who's finally gotten a few minutes to himself to jack off?

Captain Pike

Mobius

Hank Anderson

Teft

Dr. Ratthi

Commander Adama

Jack O'Neill

John Sheppard

Gale Dekarios

Voting ended onJun 11

[chaos-monkeyy]

Part 1

Scrubbing both hands over tired eyes, John Sheppard sank down onto the tiny couch in his quarters with a groan of relief.

It wasn't even that late, but everything had been so chaotic and busy lately, that even off-duty he hadn't had the downtime—or the energy, for that matter—to do anything except lie down and pass out for a night that was never quite long enough. This evening, though, he finally had some damn time off to do... well, something.

After staring at the wall blankly for several minutes, trying to actually think of something to do with his precious free time while he had it, John found his mind wandering back to that couple from the other day. They'd definitely been into him, they were both damn hot, and truth be told he was kind of kicking himself now for being responsible and not sticking around to take the pair up on their entirely unsubtle offer of company for a night.

It felt like ages since he'd actually gotten laid, and just thinking about it—about the things they might have done with him—was enough to start getting him hard. John slouched down further in his seat, eyes drifting shut and one hand slipping under his T-shirt to run idly over his stomach. He somehow hadn't even jacked off in... days? weeks?

Whatever it was, it had obviously been too fucking long if he couldn't even remember.

So he let a meandering, lazy little fantasy play out in his mind, cock filling between his legs while he wondered what sort of things those two had had in mind. Maybe she'd wanted to be in the middle of John and her husband... or maybe the husband wanted to be in the middle, or John himself would have ended up between the two.

Any of those would have been fantastic, John thought; hell, he'd even have enjoyed just watching them go at it. Unzipping his fly, he finally pulled out his stiffened cock with another low groan. He was already straining-hard, erection hot and twitching in his grip as he started stroking himself. He had half a mind to draw it out, take his time... but didn't actually have the patience for that; not tonight.

Instead, John let his head fall back, gazing down through heavy-lidded eyes at his own hand pumping up and down—quick, steady strokes that tightened the heat already building behind his cock. Within moments he was close; panting, biting at his lower lip, free hand holding his shirt up and his hips tilting and lifting needily into his own touch. He considered, for all of about half a second, stopping long enough to go into the shower or at least get some tissues, and immediately thought fuck it, floors can be cleaned.

That taut, urgent heat built inexorably higher, climax looming rapidly closer with every jerk of his fist; John felt his legs quivering, tensing as he chased his much-needed release; and then—

oh no! how's Sheppard interrupted?

A strange energy portal appears in the room

John's teleported / transported somewhere else

AU plot twist! He's at the SGC on Earth, and *Unscheduled Offworld Activation*

Voting ended onJun 15

[fujoshane]

ryan price and ilya are texting abt their ssri dick probs and i think that's beautiful

[normal-about-hollanov]

I think ilya n cliff have that sort of odd bro relationship where cliff has an innate understanding of ilya's depression n self destructive tendencies n has directly intervened but in a distinctively 'frat bro' way. cliff's intervention sounded a lot less 'maybe you should get some help' n a lot more 'hey man seems like that rocket you're always texting has got you all kinds of fucked up. how about we table the shots n get a fucking beer about it huh'. to this day ilya credits that man with playing a serious part in his not Fully Fucking Losing It during the hookup years

[parkchanwoohoo]

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is painfully American

[dirtbaby2016]

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

[simoneashley]

Modern day Loustat Jacob Anderson and Sam Reid for Entertainment Weekly

[lesartistes]

[arsenicflame]

i used to drink peach schnapps mixed with white monster in uni for the sake of getting drunk & i hate to admit it but i still think this combo fucking slaps

[still-the-seventh]

Absinthe and coke

[shanyshko]

you know i think ilya would get off on choosing shane's clothes for him. shane doesn't really care about fashion so much as looking acceptable for the situation, so when ilya asks to style him before charity galas and important dinners and re-do his array of game day suits, it's not exactly a hard sell.

suddenly, shane is in proper black and white formal for the first time ever, a designer suit jacket with a little point to the shoulder that makes him look all sensual and broad. accessories keep making their way in. a snakeskin belt, a loafer that doesn't look like it's from 2005, a signet ring. and of course, ilya always ties the rolex in, wear the one with the emerald face, i'll put you in a matching sock and maybe some gemstone cuff-links. his casuals remain casual, but every once in awhile he sneaks in a pair of impeccably tailored $800 jeans, or a vintage acid wash muscle tee ilya had to fight tooth and nail for on ebay. he puts his baby in cashmere sweaters that would make princess diana cry.

and people notice. of course they notice. there are theories, who is the stylist, is it a social media stunt, a new sponsorship everything their influence. and yes, a part of him is resentful he can't claim credit, but when shane asks him once, while ilya delicately folds his silk pocket square, why do you do this for me? ilya runs a hand over his dress shirt, groping at his pecs, and says, they all wonder why you look so pretty. is because i want my boyfriend to look pretty for me. they wonder, and i know. i know it's for me. it isn't for you, malysh. is for me.

one day, ilya thinks, he'll walk in with the hottest man in the nhl on his arm. he'll put him in diamonds and a fur coat, and they'll all know. but for now he just pats shane's chest and sends him out with cuff links that have ilya's initials engraved.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I’m blindsided by authors using ai in their works. how can readers and writers tell if the writing is ai generated?

I’m gonna assume writers know whether or not their own works are ai because they either write them themselves or have ai write for them.

but as for readers (or writers who read other writers’ works), no, you can’t tell unless the writer themself says their works are ai generated. anything else is witch hunt, speculations and possibly wrongful accusations — all of which harm the writing community as much as ai does, if not more.

so if at any point you think an untagged work is ai and if that bothers you, quietly click away. but you can never know for sure based on vibes. because everything ai writes, a human writer does. that’s what ai was trained on and what it was trained to mimic.

I’ve already talked more about this here, here, here. and more on my other blog @writingdose here and here.

[littlepagodatree]

You can notice certain telltale signs in some of the writing, such as short sentence stacking and usage of "not x not y but z" structures. But you have to be familiar with AI writing styles to be able to notice that.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

I’ve been writing “not x, not y, but z” way before gen ai became a thing. I’ve read works that have “not x, not y, but z” in them, and I’ve read those works way before gen ai became a thing. I’ve also been using em dash way before gen ai became a thing, and I’ve seen em dash used in so many written works way before gen ai became a thing. I know for a fact some human writers actually prefer short sentence stacking too.

every “ai telltale” is something humans write before, otherwise ai wouldn’t have been able to mimic it in the first place. because it needs human-made works to mimic on.

when I say ai witch hunt, speculations and accusations harm the writing community as much as ai does, if not more, “not x, not y, but z” and em dash are one of the main things I’m talking about.

[still-the-seventh]

[still-the-seventh]

[still-the-seventh]

[still-the-seventh]

Dear lord....

[finelytaylored]

threads users confirm Hudson Williams is indeed cooking when it comes to his fighting technique (x)

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

Shane who, before him and Ilya get outed, keeps hearing people, fellow players, his own friends, talk shit about the man he loves and it pains him, so one night he googles "Ilya Rozanov nice person" and ends up in a subreddit where people share stories of celebrities that are surprisingly nice people and the page dedicated if Ilya is full of wholesome stories

hospital personnel from where he used or still visited the paediatric department with the team, parents of patients, even former patients themselves seeing how great, attentive, funny and light-hearted he was

puck bunnies or women he had one night stands with during the years playing for Boston saying he was a phenomenal lover and a consent king, or women that approached him whilst inebriated and whom he gently turned down, bought a bottle of water for and paid for their cabs to get back home safely

neighbours saying he was very polite, people he was nice or helpful to through the years, a mom with a screaming child whose first class seat on a flight to Moscow he gave up so she could have more room for her herself and the baby, a classmate he defended in school, a former teacher saying how smart and talented he was in spite of not having much time to study because he was training a lot, Russian-speakers saying his interviews in his mother tongue are a thing of beauty and incredibly well-spoken, waiters and shop assistants stressing how polite his interactions were

Shane devours these stories with tears in his eyes and a heart about to explode, the tab perpetually open in his phone, incognito mode.

And when someone talks shit about Ilya or when, after their outing, hate starts to be thrown at him even more viciously from the media, he goes back to the tab, just to see that there actually many that agree with him: Ilya, the love of his life, is the most wonderful person

[stainedglasswhimsy]

I want a fic where Jealous Shane is digging for info on Ilya’s hookups but finds this instead

[still-the-seventh]

@stainedglasswhimsy - I might write this, if that's okay?

[wlwarhammer]

A lot of people ignore the absolutely radioactive levels of frat boy coming from Shane Hollander because it’s inconvenient to their hyper feminized bottom stereotyping

[knebulae]

i like these tags @miscelium

#i'm still thinking about backwards cap shane in the champagne spray metros locker room scene. frat boy coded fr#and autism be damned my boy knows how to work a grill#in the stairwell when ilya is like 'what you're dreaming of a bronze medal?' and shane goes 'you fucking wish dude'#need more shane using dude man bro etc as pet names immediately after tender anal sex lmaooo#there's a kenstewy fic where they autopilot dap each other up instead of kissing goodbye that's the bro4bro i want#and jock4jock! they're spotting each other's chest presses and using the same 3 in 1 shampoo conditioner body wash#heated rivalry

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of rose giving shane a weighted blanket as a gift and it soon becoming ilya's Number One Enemy in their house

at first it was just because it was a gift from rose, but now??? shane is cuddling up under The Mistress? ("ilya, it is a fucking blanket-") shane does not need to ask ilya to lay on top of him because he would rather be beneath The Mistress? ("ilya, for FUCK'S sake, you weren't even home-") maybe shane doesn't even need him anymore. maybe The Mistress can learn to suck his co- ("i'm going to bed. you can join me or you can keep glaring at a FUCKING BLANKET")

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like rose probably went for the heaviest option available, so like a 40 pounder, so it does have some good heft to it

and i'm cackling about this arrangement being referred to as a threesome as a joke, which is all well and good until someone is reading over ilya's shoulder one day and sees shane send the message, "today has fucking sucked. can we have a threesome when you get home, please?" and is just ???? hello???? what?? the fuck??? are y'all just out here casually having threesomes on a tuesday??? that hollander asks for wiTH A PLEASE??? WHO IS INVOLVED ONTHIS THREESOME FOR IT TO BE HAPPENING ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE????

[penandinkprincess]

not helping this is that ilya responds with, "yes of course ♥️. do you think your mistress can take care of you in the meantime? just this once she can have you to herself."

and what he's doing is just teasing shane to lighten the mood, but person at the coffee shop behind him in line is just

[penandinkprincess]

this escalates to the point that shane really has no other option than to post some kind of statement about it being an inside joke, and ilya of course has to be a little shit about it and post a response on twitter or whatever about, "oh, you will not tell them you are snuggling with your mistress right now, hollander? you will break my heart but not admit it to the world?" and so shane posts another picture that's just a pov from his place on the couch with the weighted blanket over his legs and ilya on the other end grinning SO WIDE because he's SO pleased with himself. and the caption is something like "pictured: my "mistress" and my soon-to-be-ex-husband." and ilya thinks it's SO fucking funny because yes! vindication! let the world pity him (even if playfully).

and this then backfires on him SO FAST.

now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.

weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just

"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"

shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"

"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."

"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.

shane receives five more weighted blankets.