The most beautiful thing is knowing that I can come before my Savior broken & afraid countless times. & yet He still looks at me as if I am strong & brave & whole & His. I am, I am.
Well, I woke up this morning with a burning fire on the inside, feeling humbled and grateful for God's grace & mercy, and I ended up expressing that gratitude to one of my friends.
Now, I feel led to let you in on what I had to say:
"This is quite random, but I am just so in awe of God's mercy.
Sometimes, I get upset, because I'm so undeserving and even though I really appreciate His grace and mercy, it doesn't seem fair that He keeps extending it, but then I remember that His love is not like man's love. He doesn't keep record of all of the times we mess up. When it says that He remembers our sin no more and that we are forgiven, it really means just that. It can be hard to grasp at times, but I just really am grateful..
Like, when he forgives us, He doesn't think about it, try to see whether or not we deserve it or anything like that... He just forgives, instantly.
After everything I've been through and after all of the times He spared my life, even when I didn't even care to acknowledge Him, I can honestly say that I will NEVER give up on God. I'm a true witness to the song "He's Able."
He never gave up on me.
He never said that I wasn't enough, wasn't worthy, wasn't "wrapped right," wasn't fit to be used.. He never made me feel what I deserved to feel.. never turned His back on me. Yes, He's been silent at times, but He's never left me alone. Never left me in my mess. Even the situations I put myself in.. Never said, "I told you so." Just got me out of it and left it there as if it never happened. And even when He chose not to get me out of stuff, He allowed me to learn from it. I owe God everything. He owes me nothing. I owe Him my life. His grace and mercy is not something I can earn. Nothing I could ever do would ever be enough to thank Him. I will forever worship Him, be transparent with others and show just how amazing He is. For the rest of my life, I really will serve Him."
You're probably asking why I decided to share this. Here's why: There may be someone that needs to hear this. Maybe someone that has been struggling with something that they're too ashamed to talk to God about.. Trust me, He cares. Or maybe someone that feels like God has forgotten about them and/or abandoned them. God never left you; He never will. And I'm not just saying that.. He promised. He protects you, regardless of whether or not you acknowledge Him or even think of saying thank you. Nothing can stop the plan God has for your life. God has shown me so many times that there is something in me that is going to change a lot of lives and a lot of environments. I have purpose. That suicide that happened years ago? Would've been me, if it wasn't for His spirit inside of me. That shooting at Wayne Community? Was almost me. That car speeding around the curb in MY lane that almost caused a head-on collision? Almost me. The car almost blowing up because of the engine overheating? Almost me. But, I'm here to tell you that almost is never enough. Especially when dealing with my God! What the devil meant for evil, God turned it around for my good! And now I'll never stop telling it, for His glory!
For any of y'all reading this, whether it be for you or someone you've been interceding for, I come in agreement right now, and I declare, in JESUS' name, that chains that have been holding you back from walking in your worth and the calling God has for you, will be broken! Chains of self-pity, worthlessness, defeat, insecurity, doubt, compromise, settling, confusion, embarrassment, discrimination, sickness, addiction, past hurt.. whatever it is! I speak freedom, boldness, and clear direction into your life, and I believe that it is so! It doesn't matter how long you've been bound by your chains. You can be free today! God can open your eyes today!! Come in agreement with what GOD says about you, really believe it, and don't be afraid to speak it!
I believe that we're entering into a season where we're gonna have to start opening our mouths. We've sat down on a lot of gifts.. held in a lot of the Spirit's power and authority in us but yet we still have the nerve to wonder why Satan doesn't take us seriously. Time out for being shy and "cute" when asking God for what we need. You need healing? Speak it! Deliverance? Speak it! Financial blessings? Speak it! Whatever it is, ONLY IF IT LINES UP WITH HIS WILL, speak it! Place a demand on His anointing, and watch things change.
If you want to be wrecked & convicted, read "He Chose the Nails" by Max Lucado. No matter how many times, it'll never get old. Fresh & timely every time. Here's just a glimpse of what to look forward to.
This may be one of the most timely blog posts I have ever posted.. I havenât posted in a while, and now I see why. Iâve been asking God to speak to me and to send me something for everyone, including myself, and Heâs done far beyond that:
Letâs get right in.
The scripture that will serve as a foundation for this post is:
2nd Corinthians 12: 6-10 (NLT)
It reads:
V. 6 - I have plenty to boast about and would be no fool in doing it, because I would be telling the truth. But I wonât do it. I donât want anyone to think more highly of me than what they can actually see in my life and my message,
V. 7 - even though I have received wonderful revelations from God. But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud.
V. 8 - Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.
V. 9 - Each time, He said, âMy gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.â So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me.
V. 10 - Since I know it is all for Christâs good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
From those verses, God has revealed to me that the purpose of your âthornâ or what youâre going through is:
1. To Humble You
In Philippians 2:5-11, it reads:
Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. But emptied Himself (HCSB) He made Himself nothing (He laid aside his mighty power and glory); He took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminalâs death on a cross. Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
What amazes me about this is how self-less Jesus was. He could have easily said, âYou know what? Iâm Jesus, and yâall donât care about what Iâm doing down here anyway, so God, You can just send me back up there with You now. Iâm above them.â But instead, Jesus lost sight of himself to see about us. The fact that Jesus did it proves that being humble is not as hard as we try to make it seem. If Jesus could, surely we can. You may say, well, that doesnât mean I have to be humble just because He was, and how do you know that thatâs the purpose of what Iâm going through? The answer is in verse 7 of our foundational scripture:
But to keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud.
Speaks for itself.
In 1st Peter 5:6 (KJV), it reads:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under Godâs mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
This tells you why you must humble yourself. That is, so that in HIS timing, you will be lifted up. The last shall be first and the first, last. You will be the head and not the tail, the lender and not the borrower, above and not beneath..
Now that you understand that the first part of the three-fold purpose behind what youâre going through is to humble you, letâs move on..
The second part of the three-fold purpose is:
2. To Test Your Faith
In 2nd Timothy 3:14, it reads:
You must remain faithful to the things you have been taught.
And Philippians 4:9 goes on to say:
Keep putting into practice all you have learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.
So why should you stay true to what Jesus has taught you?
Because thatâs where your peace will come from.
And peace will not only come from that, but prayer as well..
Donât worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience Godâs peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7
In verse 7, it states that His peace will guard you and that is why:
..in that coming day, no weapon turned against you will succeed.
- Isaiah 54:17
How comforting is it to know that:
The righteous face many troubles, but the Lord rescues them from each and every one. - Psalms 34:19
So, now that you know that what youâve been taught is now being put to the test, letâs move on!
The third and last part of the three-fold purpose as it relates to what youâre going through is:
3. To Change Your Perspective
As you can see in the picture above, the man was so close, but he didnât even know it. If we can just endure to the end, no matter how many years it takes, thereâs a great reward that is greater than the challenges we may have faced to actually get there.
But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. - Romans 8:17b-18
"Your trouble is only transitioning you from where you presently are to where God is taking you." - Leslie Capers
Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. (Let this endurance complete its work so that you may be fully mature, complete and lacking in nothing (CEB)) - James 1:2-4 (NLT)
..everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. - 2nd Timothy 3:12
But,
Whatever happens, dear brothers and sisters, may the Lord give you joy. I never get tired of telling you this. I am doing this for your own good. - Philippians 3:1
Count it all joy!
Easier said than done, huh..
How am I possibly supposed to have joy when all this stuff is going on?
Hereâs the answer:
"Joy isnât the absence of trouble, but the refusal to complain about it." - Leslie Capers
All of these things are for your benefit. And that is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and wont last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we donât look at the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever.
- 2nd Corinthians 4:15a,16-18
Well, this is all of what the Holy Spirit has given me to say in this post, so as we conclude, let us pray..
God, thank You for sending this very timely and fitly-spoken Word. Thank you for thinking enough of us to remind us and let us know that we are not in this alone. We realize that You are with us, and that is more than enough. Get glory out of us, our situation and every aspect of our lives. Help us to lose sight of ourselves and focus totally on You and what Youâve placed in us, because we know that whatâs in us is greater than whatâs on us. Give us wisdom, strength, love, joy and peace. Thank You for everything, again, and itâs in Your name that we pray, trust, have faith and give thanks, Amen.
I love you all dearly and I appreciate everyone that takes out the time to read my posts. I may not have a million followers, but I am satisfied that the people that do read, get what they need from God. If this post has blessed you in any way, please feel free to share. Of course it will mean a lot to me, but most importantly, ALL glory goes to Him. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
Obedience 101: What Walls Need To Fall In Your Life?
In Joshua 6:1-27, is the story of the battle of Jericho.
Before we start, let me inform you:
⢠Moses had died not too long after leading the Israelites to the promise land. Joshua was next in line, being Moses' assistant, to bring them to their actual promise.
⢠Joshua sent out two spies before the army to spy out the land. The spies ended up finding refuge in a lady named Rahab's, house. There, they received instruction from her. To "pay her back" for not bailing them out, they made her promise to keep the rope they entered with, where it was so that they could return after the battle was over. In addition to that, she had to promise that all her her relatives would remain in the house the entire time, because otherwise, they'd be killed.
⢠Rahab's house was built into the city's wall.
In verse 1 of Joshua 6, we find out that the gates of Jericho are tightly sealed, because of their fear of the Israelites. No one could enter or leave.
But, why were they afraid?
They were afraid because of everything that God had done for the Israelites. One example is when the Lord parted the Red Sea so that they could cross on their way to the promise land. The works of God's hands had "scared the living daylights" out of them.
So, in verses 2-5, God instructs Joshua on what he & the Israelites must do in order to obtain the promise. What I love about this is, God starts out not saying "You have to do this, do that, etc," but instead assures him. In verse 2, he tells Joshua, "I have given you Jericho, it's king, and all its mighty warriors." He's basically, before they can even reach the grounds, telling him that they've already won the battle. He's letting him know, before they get overwhelmed about the way it looks, that they're conquerors. How encouraging is that?
God, then, instructs him: "Your entire army is to march around the city once a day for six days. Seven priests will walk ahead of the Ark, each carrying a ram's horn. On the seventh day you are to march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the horns. When you hear the priests give one long blast on the horns, have all the people give a mighty shout. Then the walls of the city will collapse, and the people can charge straight into the city."
Joshua, with no questions, attitude or doubts, informed his army on what the Lord had said. And immediately, the priests started marching.
Not too long after, Joshua commanded in verse 10, "Do not shout; do not even talk. Not a single word from any of you until I tell you to shout. Then shout!"
Let's stop right here. I LOVE THIS!!!!!! Okay, here's what I got from that:
Too many times, when God promises us something, we want to take it & run with it. We don't wait for instruction, direction or anything. It's as if we use God just so that He can promise us things, then we can take it from there. WRONG! Sometimes God seriously wants us to hush. And not only us, but also those we run to instead of Him when we're in trouble. We're all guilty of it, but when you think about it, what's the point in running to someone for advice that's currently going through the exact same thing you are? Until & even after they've gone through it, it's best to stick with Jesus as your counselor. Not only that, but we need to take advantage of "quiet seasons." God wants us to hush. Instead of being so quick to move, we need to not only be still & know that He's God, but be willing to humble ourselves, hush & actually listen to what He has to say. Everyone claims to listen, but this simple quote says it better than I ever could:
"Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk." - Jefferson Bethke
We're so quick to speak, that we don't even listen. When God instructed the Israelites to march quietly, He was telling them, "Okay, it may seem crazy, but I need for you to step out of your comfort zone & trust me. Your obedience will not only benefit you, but those around you. Simply trust & obey, because the battle is mine, not yours."
Knowing us, we would complain.. Why Lord? Why can't we just go ahead and attack? Who in their right mind is going to march quietly around a wall that is sealed? What good is that gonna do? God, this doesn't make any sense..
Long story short, the priests, Israelites & Joshua marched for six days, and on that seventh day, the priests sounded their horns. "SHOUT! SHOUT! SHOUT BECAUSE HE'S GIVEN YOU THE LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Israelites shouted and the walls of Jericho literally fell flat!
Rahab & her family were spared, just as the spies promised. The section of the wall surrounding her house was the only part that did not fall. Isn't that amazing? But guess what? I waited until now to inform/remind you that Rahab was a prostitute. Yes, unclean, filthy, etc. Some "saints" (also known as ain'ts) would have turned their noses up at Rahab because of her label in society. God, on the other hand, saw fit to save her.
I love that because, in this, God teaches us that obedience not only benefits us, but others around us. Even those that are looked down on by society. So, they won the battle, another soul was won into the kingdom, and God got all of the glory! That's what it's all about!
I'm done! Let's pray!
God, Thank you for this opportunity to share Your word. Bless everyone that chooses to read, because I know that they don't have to. I pray that you get glory out of all of our lives. Thank you for humbling and teaching us even when we think we've got You "all figured out." We apologize for not listening and obeying when we should have. We openly acknowledge that the battle is utterly and completely yours. We love you so much; never stop cleansing, strengthening and restoring us. Use us for YOUR glory. Get glory out of our lives. Manifest yourself in everything we do, say & think. We bless and thank you for it now & it's in Jesus' name that we pray, Amen.
I love you all dearly and I appreciate everyone that takes out the time to read my posts. I may not have a million followers, but I am satisfied that the people that do read, get what they need from God. That's all that matters to me. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, ideas, need to vent or anything else, feel free to use the links at the top-left of the page. Specifically these:
Ask Me Anything!
What Should My Next Topic Be?
Contact Me!
Not a lot of people take that offer seriously because of trust issues they may have, but in all honesty, whatever is said between us, stays between us and God. Confidentiality means everything to me. Thanks again! <3
Before I get too deep into this post, we need to discuss circumstances, because that is where it all starts. In most, if not all of my blog posts, I like to use my own personal experiences because I know the feeling that comes with knowing that someone else has even an idea of what you're going through. Childhood sometimes plays a part in our view of who we are. A few years ago, my family and I were talking about when each other were born and things of that nature. During the conversation, my mom informed me that my birth was not planned. She wasn't expecting, anticipating or even thinking about getting pregnant at the time. (SN: I am the middle child.) As soon as I heard that, thoughts ran through my head. Obviously, my dad could tell, because he immediately said, "Don't think that you were a mistake, because you weren't." It wasn't necessarily that I thought that I was a mistake; I guess it was just.. I can't explain the feeling. All I know is that I was grateful that God planned my birth and that I was destined to be born in His timing.
Your circumstances do not define who you are.
So what if you were adopted? If your parent(s) abused you in any way? If one or both of your parents were absent from your life? If you grew up being picked on? If you were born out of wedlock? If your mom was young when she had you? If you were homeless? Or poor? So what?
Take a look at these:
Psalm 139:13, 15-16 (NLT)
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
Ephesians 1:11 (TLB)
Moreover, because of what Christ has done, we have become gifts to God that He delights in, for as part of God's sovereign plan, we were chosen from the beginning to be His , and all things happen just as He decided long ago.
Acts 17:26 (TLB)
He created all the people of the world from one man, Adam, and scattered the nations across the face of the earth. He decided beforehand which should rise and fall, and when. He determined their boundaries.
Jeremiah 1:5 (TLB)
"I knew you before you were formed within your mother's womb; before you were born I sanctified you and appointed you as my spokesman to the world."
YOU WERE AND ARE NOT A MISTAKE.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, we can proceed. You needed to know that in order to receive the rest of this post.
So......what is this post about? I can't title it with just one word. This is for the people that may ask:
Have I committed so many sins that God won't forgive me?
Do I even deserve forgiveness?
How can I tell when He has forgiven me?
Does it mean that I am I not saved because I sin?
Where do I go from here?
And so much more..
Let's begin.
We all struggle with sin. If you are a Christian and are filled with the Holy Spirit, you have an advantage, unlike those who are not. Many of us sometimes doubt if we are truly filled with the Holy Spirit. Let me explain why. Personally, I struggled with doubt and arguments in my head all of the time because of certain members of my church. They would always compare my praise to my older sister's. They would say things like:Â "You need to start letting go like your sister." "Did you see how your sister was not ashamed today?" "When is it gonna be your turn?" No one understands how frustrating it was to hear that every Sunday. One particular time, at one of the members' house, I was being pressured to speak in tongues.. but guess what? I didn't. Why? Because I will only do and say what the Lord leads me to do and/or say. I didn't feel anything, I was uncomfortable there and I was being told that I wasn't really saved. Not only that, but I was called out during the prayer:Â "Even though one person didn't speak in tongues, we pray that you save them and show them that they have to obey You and not be ashamed." And all while saying that, the lady praying kept looking directly at me. After that horrible experience, I questioned, well just because I don't speak in tongues, does that mean that I am not in right standing with God? Of course not. And this scripture proves it:
1 Corinthians 12:30 (NLT)
Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not!
We have all been uniquely set apart by God. If we all just spoke in tongues, who would be the interpreters? We each have different gifts; that's the way the body of Christ works. Just because I don't do the things you did when you were filled, doesn't mean that yours is real and mine isn't. "Being filled with the Holy Spirit will manifest itself in different ways and different people."
Now that we've settled matters concerning the Holy Spirit, let's go on..Â
So, maybe you've been struggling with sin, you've repented and asked God to forgive you, but you don't feel any better than you did after you committed the sin. Maybe you've been blinded by the conception of sin being measured. Let me help you out.
Let's say you have two people: One is a liar and one is a murderer.
Who has committed the worst sin?
Both. But, why?
Sin is sin. There is no such thing as a "little white lie." Lying is lying. You're just as guilty as the person that murdered someone. You cannot measure sin. If that was the case, Christ would not have died for ALL the sins of the world. He would have had different sacrifices for each sin. But because all sins are equal, one sacrifice covered it all.
So if someone tries to tell you that you've done too much to be forgiven, don't believe them. No one is better or "more saved" than anyone.
For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of Godâs glorious standard. - Romans 3:23 (NLT)
Now that we've discussed the fact that sin is immeasurable, let's go on.
What if I repented and still feel bad/guilty? Did He not hear me? Does He not care? Have I done too much?
The answer will forever be, no.
In most cases, if the Spirit lives in You, you will automatically feel convicted when you sin. Guilt is God's way of protecting you. An example of that is when you are presented with a similar situation as before, you'll remember "Last time I did that, I didn't feel good at all. I was displeasing God and I told Him that I would never do it again." If you're strong enough, you won't ignore it. Your mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you.
Well, what is repentance? "Repentance is properly understood to mean a change of mind--a change of the intention from wanting to sin to not wanting to sin--that results in a change in action. It involves the decision to make a change of behavior and/or attitude about something. Biblically, repentance means to turn from sin with a heartfelt desire to change and not do it again."
And, what is conviction? "Conviction is the work of the Holy Spirit where a person is able to see himself as God sees him: guilty, defiled, and totally unable to save himself."
Did the Holy Spirit leave me because I sinned? "The Spirit cannot dwell in an unholy tabernacle." Because the Spirit convicts, and you feel convicted, that is a sign that He has not left you. The last thing the Holy Spirit wants to do is leave you. He intercedes on your behalf...our behalf.
My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. -Â 1 John 2:1 (NLT)
For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we really are Godâs children. And since we are His children, we will share His treasuresâfor all God gives to His Son Jesus is now ours too. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering. - Romans 8:16-17 (TLB)
I've repented, but will He forgive me? Will He actually put my past behind me? Is that even possible?
If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. - 1 John 1:9 (NLT)
So many times, God has already forgiven us before we forgive ourselves. He died for that very reason; sin. We beat ourselves up when we should just be going on with our lives.
Come, letâs talk this over, says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool! - Isaiah 1:18 (TLB)
Now to Him who is able to protect you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory, blameless and with great joy. - Jude 1:24 (HCS)
If you have genuinely repented and sincerely believe God to make you new, you have been forgiven. Stop holding on to the past.
Tad R. Callister put it this way:
"There is no black mark on our right ankle that says '2008 sin' or brown stain on our left ear that says '2010 trespass.'"
So what's next?
I'm going to remind you of this:
God wants to know you. He died to know you. Just because you may have ran from God doesn't mean that He's not where He's always been. He's been waiting for your return. Not only that, but He's followed you and has been keeping you safe while you called yourself "doing you."
He remembered us in our weakness.
His faithful love endures forever. - Psalm 136:23 (NLT)
I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. - Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT)
If you want to return to God, you can. If you want to be saved, you can. If you want to be filled with the Holy Spirit, you can. If you desire anything of God, it's yours.
So let us come boldly to the very throne of God and stay there to receive his mercy and to find grace to help us in our times of need. - Hebrews 4:16 (TLB)
He LOVES you.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning. - Lamentations 3:21-23 (NLT)
What is mercy? It is compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.
Everyday, God gives you a new set of mercies. Your slate is wiped clean. Isn't that amazing? One thing I love is in Genesis 3. Although, God was sending Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden because of their disobedience, He still provided for them. He clothed them. God is so loving, it's unreal.. <3
Okay Kayleon, I understand everything you said, but I feel like I don't have as much anointing as other people. They can preach teach and do all of this other stuff, but I can't. They pray and get an answer instantly. They're spoken to in dreams and they've heard the Lord's voice. I haven't. What am I left with?
Your portion. We have to learn to be content in and with what God has given us. Yes, people may pastor and do all of the other nice things, but I know what God has gifted me with. My assignment is just as important as everyone else's. You give God glory in what you do. It's not about comparing to other people. In the end, God will magnify your portion. It doesn't matter what your circumstances are. You are just right for a miracle. You are just the right person to be used for God's glory. You just have to have faith and believe.
If you need reassurance, strength, or just simply need prayer, join in with me as I pray:
Lord, thank You for allowing me to see how much You truly love and care for me. Forgive me, God. Forgive me for all of the wrong I've done, thought or said up until right now. I apologize and repent for the things I should have done that I didn't do; the things that would have given You the glory You deserve. I'm sorry for not shining my light and letting people see You through me. Thank You for even hearing my prayers. Without You, I am nothing. Right now, I give myself totally and completely to You. Cleanse me and make me new in You. Anything that's not pleasing to You, remove it. It doesn't matter if it's people, things, or anything else. It doesn't matter what I want; it's all about Your will. Let Your will be done in me.Thank You for forgiving me; I am so undeserving. I love You, God. Thank You. It is in Jesus' name I pray and give thanks, Amen.
I love you all dearly and I appreciate everyone that takes out the time to read my posts. I may not have a million followers, but I am satisfied that the people that do read, get what they need from God. That's all that matters to me. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, ideas, need to vent, need advice, or anything else, feel free to use the links at the top-left of the page. Specifically these:
- Ask Me Anything!
- What Should My Next Topic Be?
- Contact Me!
Not a lot of people take that offer seriously because of trust issues they may have, but in all honesty, whatever is said between us, stays between us and God. Confidentiality means everything to me. Thanks again! <3
Now guys, this post is tailored for women, but it is suited for everyone. I encourage everyone to read and be informed because you may have a cousin, sibling, nephew, niece, aunt, uncle, friend, etc. that knows that they are being strung along, but haven't done anything about it. By the end of this post, you will have done a self examination as it relates to being strung along and stringing someone else along. Please don't stop reading until the end. This is a topic that forever tugs at my heart and IÂ know someone can be changed as a result of my obedience to share.
Well, no time to waste, so.. What does the term "stringing along" mean?
Urban Dictionary said it best:
"The term 'stringing along' is defined as:
The act of dragging out a relationship with someone while having dishonest intentions. This can be applied to friendships or dating. The person stringing along the victim usually is getting something selfish or one-sided out of the situation such as sex, money or attention from others. This usually ends poorly for the person being strung along. The victim is sometimes aware of the situation but does not break the cycle due to them being a tool, insecure, spineless or gaining something less from the relationship such as not being completely alone even though they are being used."
Let me reiterate that I will be targeting women in this post. Guys, I really do love you all a lot, but because I am a woman (young lady, for the technical people) myself, I will probably be able to reach them better than I would you guys. But, it won't hurt to read it!
First of all, ALL guys are not 100% focused on sex, money, attention, etc. There are really genuinely nice guys out there. Not all of them fail to see your worth.
Are you in a relationship (official or not) that you know is not beneficial, but you're holding on because you love him, you don't want to start over with someone else, he's your everything, or because he's all you see? Well, whatever the case, you have to let go.
How do I know that I am being strung along?
1. He won't make it official. He's one way in private, and another in public. Yall's "relationship" is on and off.
He gives you so many reasons why a relationship is not for the two of you. He gives you every reason except the one that states that he's just stringing you along.
He makes so many promises when you two are alone, but when you are out in public, he acts as if he doesn't even know you exist. When he's around his boys, he lets his pride take over. He treats you like one of his props, something he uses. DO NOT SETTLE FOR BEING A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS, PLAN B, SIDE-CHICK, OPTION, OR LAST RESORT. How do you ever plan on moving on if you're still going out of your way to please him? If he can't publicly show you that he genuinely appreciates you, he's not the one. If he "appreciates" you just for your body, your money, your car and everything else he can get out of you, he's not the one. If he was the one, he would respect you. He wouldn't belittle you every chance he got. He would, instead of picking out all of your flaws, accept them and love you despite the imperfection. He would honor the fact that your body is God's temple, crucify his flesh, and wait until marriage. If he was the one, he would make it obvious that he wanted to be with you and he would pursue you God's way.
2. You're always taking up for him.
Everybody is always telling you that he's not it. I'm not talking about the "nay-sayers and haters." I'm talking about those people that are spiritually in tune with the will of God; those people that know that you know better. Instead of giving ear to them, you say, well he's going to change eventually. I can't let him go. He's been acting right lately. Knowing that the only reason he's acting interested is because you went over his house last night, you gave him a ride, or because you supported him at his game (not realizing that his other option was sitting two rows behind you).
3. He doesn't want to commit, but he doesn't want to let you go either.
He shoots you a text every now and then, asking how you're doing, calling just to check up on you, but his motives aren't right. That's his way of making sure that you're still there when all of his plans and options fail him. If you've asked, "Why won't he just let me go?" you're being strung along. Promise. You may lie and say that it doesn't affect you or that "it's just a little text," but that's where it all starts. What you allow is what will continue.
4. You're not benefiting from it.
Where's your joy? Your drive? Your passion? Is being with this person making you a better person, or is your identity locked away in this "relationship?"
5. You're trying to pursue him, you have no standards, and you don't walk in your worth.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord. - Proverbs 18:22
The scripture says that he who finds a wife....pause. Let's stop there. He who finds a wife.. hm. Nowhere in this verse do you see, "She who finds a husband, finds a good thing." That's the whole point. He is supposed to pursue you. You shouldn't be chasing him down! Let him find you. If he's not doing that, he's not the one. Simple as that.Â
6. You're in denial.
If you're honestly over him, good job, kudos to you, but you are not my focus. My focus is on the ladies who will be honest with themselves and say, "I'm just not over him. I just say that hoping that not only will people believe me, but that I will convince myself."  One thing I've learned is that if you're not willing to be honest with yourself, you will never get anywhere. "Denial doesn't change anything, just prolongs it." After struggling for a while, I had to literally sit down and do a re-evaluation. I said, okay, Kayleon. This relationship is over, and it was over before the words "It's over" ever came into the picture. Obviously, this relationship was not what I had intended it to be. But, one thing I refuse to do is beat myself up for it. Yes, I may have crying spells every now and then, but that doesn't mean that I should turn around and go back. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change what has happened and that is one thing I just have to accept.
"When people walk away from you, let them go. It doesnât mean theyâre bad people or that youâre a failure, it just means that their part in your story is over. Letting go of certain people isnât saying I hate you, Itâs saying,âI LOVE ME!â Celebrate the change of seasons."
I can't give you 5 steps to get over him, because I've learned that everyone heals differently, so what it took for me might not work for you. What I will say, however, is that it will take you reaching the point of "enough is enough" for you to finally seek freedom and get it.
If you say, "Well, okay. Now what?"
SIMPLY focus on Christ.
Seriously. The rewards that come with freedom in Christ and His love (the ultimate love) are indescribable. I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.
Let's pray..
God, I love You. I pray that You touch everyone that took out time to read this post. I pray that someone's life is changed and that You get all of the glory. For those that don't know You, we know that this is the root of the problem. Give them the desire to know You. Help us to be free in You. Free us from any and everything that is not pleasing to You. Whether it's a relationship, habit, or anything else. If You're not getting the glory, it's not worth it. When You remove those things from us, give us the strength to cope. Give us that indescribable joy and peace that only You can give. Give us hope and remind us that trouble doesn't last always. Again, we love You. We thank You for keeping us and watching over us from the beginning. It's in Jesus' name that we pray, Amen.
My heart goes out to every individual struggling with an unhealthy "situationship." I strongly encourage you to get out of it right away. Believe it or not, I didn't go too much in depth in this post, so there may be some lingering questions or advice that you need. Please be sure to contact me if so. Doesn't matter if your a guy or a gal; I just want to help you. You can send me a message on Facebook, email me ([email protected]), send a message on Kik (Kay.Kay24), DM me on Instagram (kay2kay4) or even use the 'Ask Me Anything' link on this page. You have the option to ask anonymously. Whatever it takes... It hurts my heart when people think that they can't trust anyone. Some people, including myself actually care. I used to feel the same way, so I know, in my own way, what it feels like. Whatever is said between us, stays between us. I promise.
Thanks for taking the time out to read! You will never know how much it means to me.
If you have any ideas concerning topics you think I should blog about or anything you want explained, please let me know. I'd greatly appreciate it!
Earlier this semester, I had to write a reflective essay for my English class and I viewed it as an opportunity to share a part of my story:
Have you ever heard of something all the time, but never would have imagined that it would happen to you? Well, that was me, right before depression took center-stage in my life. At the time, I was an eighth grade student at Rosewood Middle School, and reality was finally starting to hit. That school year was the year of many difficulties, including losing friends, stressing a lot, and preparing for high school. My grandfather had died in my first year attending that school, and since then, my life had not been the same. I had grown up with very bad self-esteem and sickness. Yes, I was a preacherâs kid, and had given my life to Christ when I was a little girl, but that year, I realized that depression was real, even for me. Little did I know that this stage was only temporary, and that I would come out even stronger, wiser and more confident than I was when I went in.
               Growing up, I always wanted to stay to myself, I didnât trust anyone, and I tended to shut a lot of things and people out. I wanted to cry when people complimented me because I thought that either they were trying to be facetious, or that they were just trying to make me feel good. I never believed them. One reason I didnât believe them is because of my flaws. Of course, everyone has their own, but it always seemed as if mine always stuck out more than everyone elseâs. I always questioned whether I was saved or not, because I had made the decision when I was extremely little, and I sometimes felt that it didnât count. Although I always had lots of friends while growing up, I still felt alone. I had a bitter heart as a result of people disappointing me, lying to me, and talking about me behind my back. I am an extremely emotional person, so it didnât take much to make me cry. I never wanted to tell my parents what I was going through, because I was afraid of what they would say or think, and how they would look at me as a result. I was a stressed, confused eighth grader whoâs faith was weakening. What parent wants to hear that from their child? Especially, the one who was well-known for academics, always tried their best and seemed okay. I was always comparing myself to everyone, asking, What do they have that I donât? Am I not good enough? Why does their life seem so perfect? Do I not deserve happiness? Do they even know God? What I had to realize, however, was that I was the one who didnât truly know God. I didnât know Him as the one who loved me no matter what I did, said, or thought. I didnât know Him as the one who forever kept me sane in this crazy world. I didnât know Him as the one of blessings and joy. Most importantly, I didnât know Him as the one who had been with me every step of the way, even when I didnât care to notice Him. Little did I know that God was about to take me for a ride that would change my entire life, and in that, He was going to show me who He really was.
               Day by day, I faked a smile and tried to remain strong. Anger, stress, confusion, doubt, and sadness would begin to build up in me, but I would hold it in because I didnât know who to talk to. I knew that holding things in was bad, but I didnât realize how bad it was until the night I had suicidal thoughts. I was riding in the passenger seat of the truck with my mom, and we were headed out of the parking lot of Staples, Big Lots and Books-A-Million. I was texting one of my associates about how I had been feeling. My mind was so full, that I literally felt like I was about to explode. I kept asking myself, What is the purpose of me being here? I felt helpless, hopeless, misunderstood, mistreated, worthless and insignificant. The person that I was texting acted as if they didnât care about how I felt, and that made matters worse, because they didnât even know that at that very moment, I was planning to commit suicide. So, Iâm still riding in the car on the way home, and Iâm thinking, My mom doesnât even know that Iâm about to do this, but if I tell her, she will try to stop me. My plan was to overdose on pills because then, it would be a painless death and there wouldnât be much evidence. I just knew that this was going to work and that no one would have to deal with me anymore. That is, until something that I now recognize as the Holy Spirit, stopped me, and changed my mind before I could even get home.
               The only other thing I can remember about that night is that when I got home, I went upstairs to my room and cried. I was so grateful that God loved me enough to spare me. Nobody even understands the way I felt. That night, I realized that I was the only one who could fulfill the purpose that God had placed on my life. Of course it was hard to get back on my feet immediately, but eventually, I did. It took me up until the end of the school year to do so. Not only did I surrender and get a lot closer to God, but I made decisions that would change the outlook of my entire life. I made the decision that I was going to finally be happy, see the good in things, and never let anyone get me down. I made the decision that even if no one ever told me, I was beautiful because God took the time to make me that way. I made the decision that I would accept the fact that just because some people canât see my worth, doesnât mean Iâm worthless, because Iâm not. I finally let go of everything I had been through and all of the hurt, pain and confusion that I had been holding on to. I asked God for joy, peace, and contentment in my life, and He gave me just that. I also asked Him for direction, confidence and reassurance for when doubts come, and He gave me that too. In addition to all of that, He granted me with an incredible high school, unfathomable opportunities, and a group of friends that always keep me uplifted and tell me what I need to hear, rather than what I want to hear. My thoughts shortly afterward were, Wow, I really got past that? I never thought I would. Is this real? Thereâs obviously a purpose for me. Nelson Mandela stated, âIt always seems impossible until itâs done.â It was hard to believe that I finally escaped it, but I did, and I am proud to say that I havenât struggled with depression since.
               Jeremiah 29:11-12 says, ââFor I know the plans I have for you,â says the Lord. âThey are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen.ââ That is one scripture that makes me think back on everything I went through, and remember that God heard my prayers and that He had a prosperous plan for me the entire time. My experience taught me that I wasnât alone and that I am much stronger than I ever thought or gave myself credit for. I started appreciating the little things. Today, I am given numerous opportunities to encourage people that are struggling with the same thing, but maybe even worse. I have managed to stop many people from ending their lives, and in some cases, I didnât even know I did until they told me. I try not to ever miss the chance to smile at, wave to, speak to, or compliment people, because that may be the one thing a person needs to not give up. I view my experience as one of the rungs in my ladder of life. No, I donât like depression at all, but I am more than grateful for what it taught me and the fact that I would not be where I am now without having gone through it. I can say that if He did it for me, thereâs hope for anybody. Zig Ziglar stated, âFailure is an event, never a person.â Of course, we all fail in life, but itâs not about how many times you fall. Itâs about how any times you get back up. You are never a failure, so, ignore those who may say otherwise. Everyone has a purpose in life, and depression shouldnât hamper anyone from realizing that. If you are dealing with depression, keep in mind what Franklin D. Roosevelt said, âWhen you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.â Believe me, itâs worth it.
Iâm pretty sure that many, if not all of us have heard people quote the hook from Kendrick Lamarâs song, âB____ Donât Kill My Vibe.â Now, everyone that knows me knows that I hate that song. Yes, I know, hate is a very strong word and youâre probably rolling your eyes by now, but Iâm going to explain myself so keep reading. Hereâs the hook of the song:
I am a sinner
Who is probably going to sin again
Lord forgive me
Lord forgive me
Things I donât understand
Sometimes I need to be alone
B____ donât kill my vibe
B____ donât kill my vibe
I can feel your energy from two planets away
I got my drink I got my music I will share it but today Iâm yelling
B____ donât kill my vibe
B____ donât kill my vibe
B____ donât kill my vibe
B____ donât kill my vibe
B____ donât kill my vibe
1. No matter how hard you try, profanity and the word âLordâ will never mix. People need to stop purposely putting Jesus in things that dishonor, disrespect and shame Him. Itâs all a matter of reverence. God is mighty and His name is above every name. Therefore, we should not abuse that fact by putting Him in songs that have absolutely nothing to do with him.
2. When it comes to sin, yes, you accept it, but the purpose of that is to eventually advance from it. You donât excuse it. Of course, when we sin, we are supposed to acknowledge our sin and if we arenât saved, acknowledge that we are sinners. BUT thatâs not all. After you confess, you put forth the effort to make sure youâre not in that position anymore. Whether itâs through changing habits, lifestyle, song choices, hobbies, priorities, letting go of unnecessary things and people, etc. This song basically says, âLord, I know Iâm a sinner and because of that, I sin. But hey, Iâm human, right? Yes, I respect you enough to acknowledge you in my song and maybe even at the BET awards, but I donât, however, respect you enough to filter my mouth and ask for guidance concerning a change from my sinful ways. Iâm obviously enjoying my life, being a sinner, and Iâm just giving you a heads up to forgive me when I sin again, only because itâs been said that forgiveness is your thing.â
Being a sinner is not something to be proud of. No, Iâm not bashing Kendrick Lamar, he may be talented (I donât know, I donât voluntarily listen to him.) You may say, âWell, heâs the one making the money, not you.â I totally agree!! Heâs making the money, but:
"What do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?â - Mark 8:36 (NLT)
Think about this next time youâre stuck on somebody âkilling your vibe.â
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