HEART ATTACK !!

kakuzu rp blog.

[yourfavecommitstaxfraud]

kakuzu from naruto commits tax fraud

[stitchlike]

satsvriku‌:

❝  i take things seriously ,  ❞   an offended tone that completely disregards kakuzu’s previous complaint about the nickname.   ❝  i just don’t take this shit seriously.  ❞   a wave of his hand that gestures to nothing.   everything.   

❝  i take my sacrifices and prayers very seriously ,   but this shit ?   eh.   not worth the effort.   and it’s more fun to laugh at the shit than it is to be so damn serious ,   like  you  are ,   all the time.  ❞   a  pause ,   a thought.   hidan fully turns to look at his partner then ,   magenta eyes narrowed and analyzing the sliver of visible face on his partner ,    ❝  you ever laughed in your whole life ?  ❞

he does take a moment to think about when was the last time he laughed. and he cannot think of an exact date, exact occurrence-- all he knows is that it must have been back when takigakure still qualified as home. so a long time ago. 

and yet, he doesn’t feel saddened by this realization. that’s just how his life is now.

❛ i’ll laugh at your funeral. ❜ that’s almost a joke, he knows. just like he knows that hidan will pounce at that provocation and hopefully forget about the answer he was supposed to receive. they pass the gates together, leaving the town behind.

there’s a strange taste on kakuzu’s thread-covered tongue. hm. 

[mihgyu]

boys moaning is basically the hottest thing a guy can do besides give you neck kisses

[nohetero]

I’m more aroused by them giving me large sums of money, personally

[stitchlike]

ninshi‌:

           𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆,   𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐋𝐄…     irritation festers in core,   swept up amidst the purple poison,   and though sasori would prefer to call kakuzu pleasant company,   when compared to many of their fellow members   (   or lack of   —   the snake had slithered away before it could swallow their crow   ),   he has no patience for the grating disdain severing the man’s voice in two even if he agrees   (   last - minute readjustments are a pain   ),   for puppet masters much prefer to work with a prepared partner,   be it with strings attached or not.

he’s glad that he created hiruko without lips to be twisted because he is sure that he would have caused the shield - puppet to sneer.

“     i know,     ”     he replies curtly,     “     the angel’s papers are faster than one is lead to expect.     ”     had kakuzu unexpectedly pulled him aside he would have bristled,   and he’s sure that leader knows that.

“     but that’s as much as i know,     ”     it pains him but he would rather get over the initial stab than run blindly into an ambush,     “     so what’s our agenda ?     ”     a demand disguised as a question,   how clever.

he lets out a low acknowledging noise, his anger stepping aside for a tepid second. at least the puppetmaster was somewhat PREPARED. if kakuzu had to wait in this specific moment for him to pack bags and whatnot, his seams might have come undone from irritation.

❛ iwagakure. ❜ he barks their destination like an order. ❛ intel says the five tails is in an exposed position. we have to either confirm that... ❜ he pauses. ❛ or use that. ❜

kakuzu stares at sasori’s shell. the mismatched heartbeats continue to echo in his ribcage ( the newest one continues to struggle against the rhythm it doesn’t know, but it will learn-- it has no other option ). he does not know what to expect from the puppetmaster-- pairing up the both of them in such a rushed way seems like a test from their leader. or punishment for kakuzu’s latest outburst. probably the latter. he scoffs through his nose, his grimace shielded by the black facemask. 

❛ i’d ask if you’re up for that but i don’t think you have a choice. ❜ neither does he. but kakuzu knows he is ready, his long years say so.    

[fjorgael]

I assume that education in teeny-weeny villages like Yugakure sucks pretty badly :’D

[stitchlike]

Ultracrepidarian

Ultracrepidarian: What do they think they know more about than they actually do?

probably like… the general nature of humanity. because kakuzu thinks that no one is to be trusted and that everyone has some sort of master plan in their mind and thus he tries his best to stay away from everybody’s orbits… like yes he joined akatsuki but he never believed in the whole jinchuuriki heist scheme. it’s just that there are many benefits to be had in akatsuki, such as money and security (which is fully enough for him). tbh i imagine that if he decided to just get up and leave akatsuki, he’d do so without hesitation. 

but yes, he tends to overestimate people’s tendency to backstab one another and he also underestimates their strength (as seen in actual manga). he’s not as shrewd as he thinks he is, basically !! especially when it comes to things like people’s motives. 

[stitchlike]

Gorgonize: What distracts them when they're trying to get things done?

Unusual Word Headcanon Prompts #1

H I D A N

kakuzu is really good at focusing on his task, maybe even too good. he just zeroes in on what needs to be done and goes for it. however, he has serious anger management issues, so sometimes he ends up getting distracted by the need to lash out against somebody just because theyre annoying him etc. it can be very unproductive and his anger really goes against his image of being a perfectionist. truth is, hes enraged like 24/7 and that sometimes can fuck him over but he also feels like he’s entitled to his wrath and rly doesn’t care about who’s getting hurt

[stitchlike]

Biblioclasm

Biblioclasm: Is there something about themselves they wish fewer people knew about? ( x )

DEFINITELY his prison past. the tattoos on kakuzu’s forearms are a clear reference to being marked as a criminal (same tattoos were used during edo period in actual real japan). this is something everybody can see when his forearms are exposed and its basically a symbol of being punished by authority. like yeah, some might find it intimidating but for kakuzu it reads as a sign of being defeated and being weak enough to be incapacitated and tattooed on against his own will. 

he literally has his sentence on his skin and it can be read in so many different ways - it can mean that people have to stay away from him because he’s dangerous, it can mean that he cannot be trusted and it can also mean that he was stupid/weak enough to get caught. but none of these interpretations are what actually happened, kakuzu was betrayed by his own village, became a pawn in political play and thus imprisoned. 

when kakuzu looks at the tattoos he sees a reminder of a very painful memory and the lowest moment in his life. but when some random person looks at them, they just see a thug, someone who went to prison and should be shunned. kakuzu knows he’s no saint but this particular brand is just… unfair. he doesn’t really care about things like fairness, but this memory continues to sting. not to mention, getting tattooed like that was a very debasing process. 

he wants to be judged on the life he chose after the prison break because it was a decision he made himself. the imprisonment was a decision made by his village because they wanted to make an example out of him. he NEEDS people to know that he’s in control, always. but the tattoos tell a different tale and he hates that.

[hikarigolden]

me at 2 A.M.: yo, what the FUCK was up with Hidan and Kakuzu

kishimoto: how did you get into my house

[evartandadam]

I have been working diligently on Chizome, and I expect to post a lot at the end of August! Here is a sneak peak of Hashirama vs Kakuzu! 

[stitchlike]

//can you even imagine if team 10 actually told kakuzu what happened to hidan … like they tell him hidan is buried underground and they expect him to be shocked or concerned but kakuzu is quiet for a moment and then hes like smfh….. why didnt i think of that………………..

[stitchlike]

//im scream ING

[stitchlike]

satsvriku‌:

eyes snap up at the retreating figure of his partner ,   hidan knows if he  lingers  for too long ,   he’ll lose him in the streets.   and with his vision the way it is and a distinct lack of having an  actual  map   (  given that he could even figure out how to  decipher  the thing if he had one  )   of his own ,   he’d rather just stick next to kakuzu.   he walks a little quicker to catch up ,   slowing back down to match pace once next to him. 

❝  always tryin’ t’fuckin’  ditch  me.   you  hurt  me ,   ‘kuzu.  ❞   the container from his food is dropped to the ground ,   already crumpled from instinctively clenching his fist while being jerked around moments ago.

❛ i told you not to call me that. ❜ kakuzu snaps at him, though he sounds nowhere near as angry as he did mere minutes ago. and he knows hidan won’t listen, but he tries not to think about that. right now, kakuzu is just trying to leave the town without starting a physical fight with hidan. small steps, he tells himself. small steps.

❛ when are you going to start taking things seriously? ❜ he asks, as his miscolored eyes locate the gate at the end of the street. ❛ it’s insufferable. ❜

[stitchlike]

uchihablacksheep‌:

He holds that fiery temper of his aside for a moment, no need to cause a disturbance. His greatest weapon was the unknown, they knew nothing about his abilities– and he had the edge of being undetectable until he fully materialized back in this dimension. Of course, he didn’t know just about anything about them either. Their information about any of the Akatsuki was slim, anything they had was old and outdated.

“I wasn’t asking you. I was warning you.” He’s not completely sure he could take both of these guys by himself, but they wouldn’t be able to touch him until back up came anyway. He keeps his sword on his back, not making any sudden movements yet. There didn’t need to start conflict here if it wasn’t necessary, not with so many people around. He didn’t know how they got into the village, but he was hoping he could get them both out.

Either with or without their compliance. “You don’t do anything, you watch. You don’t hurt anyone, and we won’t have to fight, Akatsuki.” Fists clench, but he tries to keep motionless otherwise, they didn’t need to cause panic either. A frenzied crowd and two missing-nin made everyone a danger to themselves, and made it hard to take care of these guys.

“No reason to cause a fuss, right?” His narrowed gaze meets the other man’s, intent on not giving away the fact he even had a Sharingan until he absolutely needed to.

❛ oho... ❜ a low sound of acknowledgment from the back of his throat. ❛ you’re well-informed... not many know of akatsuki... ❜

there’s no point in pretending that both of he and his partner happen to wear the black-and-red cloaks simply because they like them. kakuzu wonders if shinobi of konoha know the purpose of pain’s organization... if so, it would make sense for them to be on a lookout for those red clouds on the horizon. their jinchuuriki is one of few that is still alive, after all. kakuzu looks at the jounin for a long, unnerving moment without saying anything and calculating something in his head. finally, he relents with a face-splitting smile hidden behind his facemask. 

❛ of course. we’re just passing through. ❜ he glances lazily at hidan who is still yelling at the merchant, completely oblivious to the fact that they’ve been made ( though, kakuzu wouldn’t say they were hiding in the first place ). ❛ my partner and i... we’ve heard some very interesting rumors about this year’s chuunin exam. supposedly, it was quite eventful. ❜

kakuzu refocuses his gaze on the jounin. his voice is still flat and emotionless, but there is something jagged and curved in the next sentence he offers: ❛ and, of course, we heard about the third hokage-- his death, that is. ❜

[bepeu-deactivated20171202]

i just need a hug(e amount of money)

[stitchlike]

kyuubiheir‌:

     ❝       𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐃  𝐎𝐅  𝐘𝐎𝐔 .     ❞         matching the indifference in the other’s tone ,    curious eyes would fall to the body before him.      ❝   but it’s safe to say your business doesn’t deal in honesty.   ❞ 

❛ if you haven’t heard of akatsuki, then you’re either dirt poor or stupid. ❜ he scoffs. ❛ don’t know which is worse. ❜

he finally fishes out a bloodied scroll from one of the pockets on the dead body.

❛ have you ever met a mercenary who does honest work? ❜

[stitchlike]

satsvriku‌:

hidan doesn’t offer any resistance when kakuzu drags him forward ,   just a  knowing  smirk and unwavering eye contact.   if it’s a  fight  the man wanted ,   it’s a  fight  he would get —   a flicker of disappointment moment’s later   (  a  pout  )   at his release.   a village leveling bout between two immortals was always a good time.   a halfway decent warm up.   using his free hand ,   hidan brushes  imaginary  dust  from his shoulder.

even after having just been  threatened  by the larger man ,   there’s no hesitation as he continues his prodding.   ❝  you have shitty follow through.   doubt you’ll ever manage.  ❞   a cursory glance is given to the dropped food as the words fall from his lips.   

should he ..?   no.   no ,   that’d be stupid.

❛ i’ll find a way. ❜ he hasn’t tried DROWNING hidan yet and that venture seems... promising. 

he turns his head to deliver that particular threat and notices hidan staring at the discarded piece of meat on the ground. kakuzu looks at it, then at hidan. and he hates the fact that he’s been around him for long enough to guess what sort of calculation is currently happening in that empty, disgusting skull. kakuzu turns away without a word to continue his walk towards the town’s gates. he doesn’t check if hidan is following him.

if he actually has to witness what he thinks is about to happen with his own two eyes, he might just attack again. 

[gir-an-deactivated20190521]

kazoo no

(original)