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The Revelation...
So a month ago I was ranting about my online boyfriend who doesn't seem like interested in meeting up with me.. So here's the thing I just found out that he wasn't the boyfriend whom I believed he was. And it just broke my heart to the highest level.
Online Boyfriend pt 2
I just like spending time on phone just talking to him, we talk on phone like 24/7 and I know seeing your boyfriend personally and being with him is way more compassionate rather than just talking on phone. Christmas and New Year passed by and still we haven't met personally and on January 13 it will be my birthday. There's a small get together that will happen at my house, I asked him if he can come so we can finally meet and see each other but he refuses and told me that its his grandmother's 40 days of death. 40 days of death is kinda big deal in our country after 40 days of being dead, families see each other to pray for the soul so he/she can finally be with God. Its kinda a belief. So anyway I can't do anything about that so he have to go back to his province for that said gathering and he'll be home few days after my birthday. Couple days before my birthday a friend of mine named Dann asked me if we could meet and I said yes, so I had fun being with him I also thought of my boyfriend because I didn't tell him about meeting Dann. I feel bad though but I know it will just lead to a fight 'cause he won't allow me. As I'm having fun and spending time with Dann I'm thinking about my boyfriend wishing that it's just him who I am with rather than Dann. My birthday came by and I feel bad because my boyfriend isn't around, Dann chatted me to greet me a happy birthday and asking if we could meet the following day, I said yes though and he said he has a gift for me. The following day right after my class Dann pick me up at school and we went to my friend's dormitory together with some of our friends they drink alcoholic beverages I was also supposed to drink but Dann didn't let me because my house is far, it wouldn't be safe if I drink. So to make things more fun we played a dare game, commonly it is truth or dare but asking questions are boring so instead we just do a dare challenge. So it's always me and Dann who were being partnered and the following dares are 1.) Kiss on the cheeks; 2.) Kiss on the forehead; 3.) Kiss on the eyes; 4.) Kiss on the nose; 5.) Kiss on the lips (quick) and lastly a Kiss on the lips but with movement. After everything that had happen during that night I became cold with my boyfriend and start talking more often with Dann, I know its wrong but I see Dann more often than I see my boyfriend.
Jobs
So basically I'm chatting with my ex-bestfriend on messenger talking about getting a job this summer.
Me: I seriously need a job right now so I can do something with my empty pocket
Her: Me too tbh I'm tired laying all day at home
Me: Can you think of a job that we can apply?
Her: What kind of a job would you like?
Me: hmmmm
Her: hmmm what?
Me: Blow...
kidding HAHAHAHA
Her: HAHAHAHAHAHA WTF!!
We're ex-bestfriends but we still get along 💕 sml
Online Boyfriend
Last year (2015) I met a guy online he's cute so I started talking to him. He was nice actually and he open up something to me whether he'll come back to manila for a basketball game or not because he was in their province that time, I told him just come back to Manila because I think his team needs him. Later that night he asked me if I can wake him up at around 7am the following day, I accepted his offer; so the next day I tried waking him up around 7am and reached over 30+ messages. Anyway, ever since that day we became close friends. He lives quite far from where I live but his school is just a kilometer away. But I dont know how can we not have a way to see each other? November 3, he was sick and was rushed to the hospital because he was bitten by a mosquito that gives a flu named dengue fever but never mentioned it to me, during that time we were so close and then all of a sudden he stopped responding to my messages and all. I was so damn curious about what happened to him or did I said something wrong to make him stop talking to me? Idk until Nov 5 came and I tried texting him, he responded; I feel relieved. He responded to my text at around 5am, yes I was awake because I have to go to school. But at around 6am he stopped responding again though he already told me he's in the hopital, then I received a message but its his mom saying that he fell asleep and that his platelets were close to being normal and he can almost come home, I feel so relaxed to know that. When he came home from the hospital we started talking again like normally, he calls me "bby" and somewhat I feel butterflies due to his charm and awesome attitude but sooner or later I've found out he has another "bby" I feel so fooled and annoyed to fall for that but then he was begging for forgiveness and a chance he also admitted that he likes me so that made me feel better and gave him a chance. He started courting me and I decided to become his girlfriend at November 18. Days pass by and its seems just a normal day until we started calling on phone. I/We haven't seen each other nor ever tried video chatting, weird right? During December I always caught him having other girls online, I was bothered because he's flirting with other girls while I'm his girlfriend while in fact I met him as well online and so I was so freaking pissed off and broke up with him. I was on my way home that tume when I was talking to him on the phone, breaking up. I'm so embarrassed because there were people in the ride that looks at me for a reason. When I arrived home I tried talking to him again and he was then asking for forgiveness. Those flirting stuff didn't happened just once neither twice but rather three times.
I just fucking want to be with you, that's it.
Fights
Hindi na nga kita nakikita tapos hindi mo pa sasabihin sakin kung anu-ano mga ginagawa at gagawin mo. Natatakot ka sabihin sakin kasi baka di kita payagan, how would you know if you never attempt to try? Pinapangunahan mo kasi masyado. Hayy, idk what to do with you. Everyday nalang tayo mag-aaway lagi nalang bang ganto? 😒
Giving up...
Sometimes I just want to give up, sometimes I just want to let things go, and sometimes I just want to throw away everything just like that, why? Because it's so damn hard to fall in love with someone who's thousands of miles away from you. But after all of the thoughts that ran into my mind, the different struggles that came into me, I'm always thinking about the reasons behind those struggles; the reason why I stayed; the reason why I keep on moving forward day after day and the reason why I am loving the same person over and over again. And it just makes me feel happy and proud because after all this time, I never get tired of loving that person even if sometimes I feel like giving up.
If you truly love someone, distance, time, age, maturity, etc. will never be a problem.