I'm just a lipstick painted mess

megan. 22. interior design dreamer.

[tenmillionpoundsofsludge-deacti]

hazmat suit with “JUICY” bedazzled on the ass 

[jesterrlavorre]

I loved so many of the cute animals on vine……

[birdfries-deactivated20200124]

this is my favorite vine comp of all time

[apiologies-deactivated20170306]

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

[thedaniverse]

I am a little high but what if people proposed with beautiful, intricate knives. Ladies would gather around the table and be like “guess what finally happened!!” And pull this beautiful, intricate dagger out of her purse and all the other ladies would gasp and congratulate her

[thedaniverse]

Me: I’m a little high but –

Y'all rushing to that reblog button:

[chuckyzoopa]

It’s an awesome idea tho

[weareoracle]

Because I have a tag for pretty weaponry, some knives I’d accept as proposals follow:

[lianabrooks]

I said yes! 

(but, actually, hubby bought me a dive knife when we got married so this works…)

[aelin-lovelace]

I can 100% get behind this as a new tradition.

[honeybeejohn]

Ok but this is amazing becuase knives are dangerous and you can use them to hurt other people but when someone proposes with one it’s symbolic like “yes I love you and trust you so much I’m asking you a very vulnerable question with something you could hurt me with but I know you won’t”

[undrinkablesmoothie]

@kinglesbiancore

[panismightier]

@lady-redshield-writes this seems up your alley

[redshield-writes]

This isn’t just up my alley, it’s traveled all the way down the alley, through my front door, and is sitting on my couch. I love this so much.

[genderlich-deactivated20211204]

@sparklemotion24 I know we’re doing rings but these are amazing

[fansonia]

AAAAAAAHHHH IT’S THE POST I’VE SEEN IN SCREENSHOTS don’t mind if I just-

[papayafromtv]

the only way im getting married

[thatdisasterauthor]

This is the only type of proposal I will ever accept.

[verilidaine]

I’m going to take the opportunity to plug a blacksmith whose work I adore who is among the many small-business artisans and vendors whose livelihood has been slash by the pandemic. This is Iron Wolf Forge, and they make these beautiful flower daggers (and other custom work!). If anyone earlier in the notes on this with a larger following sees this and can reblog, that would be amazing <3

[thatdisasterauthor]

A + Proposal plan: Pulling one of these out of a bundle of flowers.

[thatdisasterauthor]

Me: I need a library card, but I just moved so I don’t have an ID with my address or any mail with it.

Librarian: -slides me a blank library postcard- Write your address on this like it would be mailed to you.

Me: Sure?

Librarian: -takes it back- Great! Now we have mail with your address on it!

Me: …does it really work that way?

Librarian: the rules don’t say it DOESN’T work that way. Here’s your new library card!

[cronchyiceboi]

Librarians are the most dangerous magic users because they can aquire infinite knowlege

“There actually isn’t a rule that says I can’t cast this spell. I checked.”

“Which book?”

“A L L O F T H E M.”

[burgertv]

[autohaste]

I don’t know what’s going on but it’s a lot

[raychielsgifs]

You’re my personal plethora of ultra euphoric nostalgia.

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

[fakesorry]

“he’s 24 months old” bitch your son is two

[goldyjpg]

7 billion ppl in the world & u think i need u? lol nah

[100om-deactivated20150512]

*wears the same outfit as yesterday* vintage

[ask-bot]

What’s the most simple thing you’ve ever had to explain to a fully competent adult?

[welcomedhappiness]

That you cannot fax money to someone.

[kurumawer]

Had someone accidentally fax us some paperwork. They then asked if we would fax it back due to the paperwork being confidential…

[jungle-plastic]

I have received a fax in an envelope. like… they took the documents, put em in an envelope, then faxed me a picture of the sealed envelope.

[asoulgonesince2002]

When I was a kid, I faxed my dad’s satellite office drawings of horses. I had watched my father send so many faxes that I had the process memorized. Except, for some reason I thought that I could fax things to grandma. I put in the numbers for the office every time, but was convinced that the faxes were going to grandma. I also didn’t think to inform my parents that I was doing this.

My dad visited the satellite office (three hour drive) one day and discovered their conference room white board absolutely covered in my drawings. The guys thought it was adorable that I sent drawings and letters to them, and didn’t tell my dad because they knew he’d stop me.

[pizzaalle]

That’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever heard.

[lady-averie]

I like that this just turned into stories about faxing

[agustdsbaby]

when u got some opinions on things but ur deciding if its worth starting an argument over

[year9000ovvvhellfireandratbites]

how do i get the moon to notice me back

[olderboy-aesthethic]

[bunjywunjy]

the speed limit for ghosts is also 25

[betterthankanyebitch]

[its-a-different-world]

Aesthetic

[katiaobinger]

the true american experience is wondering if you just heard firecrackers or gunshots

[cresentmoon2000]

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE

[autisticyunarukami-remade-deact]

bonus points: both are illegal in your state and you still cannot tell

[intuwitchion-deactivated2019011]

Bonus points: one is illegal in your state and it is not the gun

[folieadicklord]

what the fuck is going on down there are you guys okay

[thedesignateddriver]

no

[coeur-de-coucou-deactivated2015]

Bonus round: was the scream after caused by fun or was it them getting shot

[higherthanheroes]

Challenge mode: it’s the 4th of July

[demandean]

bonus round: it’s New Year’s Eve and ppl are also drunk