āCobraā (1986) Stoner Movie
Cobra is a 1986 action movie starring Sylvester Stallone as the tough (i.e. probably crooked) cop that cleans up town. And itās hilarious.
First scene is a hostage situation, where an EVIL criminal takes a whole supermarket hostage after parking his motorcycle in the handicap spot (said he was evil). He then commences to shoot groceries up with a shotgun. Chips, ketchup, fruitā¦ Itās a mess! The regular cops decide to call Cobra (Stallone) for help.
People were crazy scared of crime in the 80s. So this kind of scene, about unmotivated, insane crime probably made complete sense at the time.
Anyway, when Cobra arrives in his hotrod car with the California license plate āAWSOM 50ā you know he plays after only one set of rules. And theyāre not from any rule book, but his own. The sunglass smiley would fit here. Especially as itās a pretty accurate depiction of Cobra. This guy is so cool he wears sunglasses even in the dark.
So, as you guessed ā Cobra wastes the hostage taker and goes home. The homecoming scene is almost too perfect.
Turns out he lives ocean front on Venice Beach. The cops must have made a shit load more money in the 80s, I guessā¦ After deliberately driving into a group of hispanic guys in car (probably criminals, seems to be the movieās logic) and then humiliating them, he goes to his house. There he dumps his newspaper on the barbecue grill, for reasons unknown, and goes inside to eat pizza and clean his gun. Because thatās how bad he is.
Soon, Cobra is interrupted by another crime. A murder, the latest of many unsolved stabbings. He finally gets involved, but most of all when the slasher goes after a hot long blonde, Ingrid (the later Brigitte Stallone), who escaped the killer. She gives them a lead to the killer, who is still desperate to get her. Like Cobra is desperate.
āAs long as we have to play by these bullshit rules, and the killer doesnāt, weāre gonna lose,ā expresses pretty much any copās mentality about the law, and Cobra is no exception. Only raw power can clean up the place. That philosophy is more or less the same expressed by the murder cult, by the way.
The main killer himself, known in the press as the Night Slasher (Brian Thompson), is a pretty disgusting guy. In every scene he sweats profusely. It doesnāt seem to bother his psycho friends, which interestingly includes a cop, allowing the New Order cult to stay one step ahead of the law.
He takes Ingrid up state for security, but really he just uses her for bait to lure out the killer. And what do you know, it works.
I donāt want to say this is a biker movie, but everyone who is anyone rides a motorcycle in this film. Good guys and bad guys.
Sarcastic commentary aside, what Cobra lacks in storyline, it makes up for with ridiculously good car chases, a really strong L.A. vibe with great shots of the city and some seriously good photography in general.
Stallone has never been tougher. If you have enough weed youāll probably enjoy the action for what it is: A classic cut-out American action movie. Evil criminals. Good cops. Hot babes. No surprises there, but in Cobra it works as good as ever.
Watch official trailer for āCobraā on YouTube
