You're drowning. A sea of emotions, responsibilities, people, things, everything. You just can't handle it all, you need to escape, but you can't. Even talking to someone and being told it's okay, compliments, nice things people say, it all adds up to drown you further. Guilt, for feeling this way when everyone's being nice and you're not enough.
Will you sink or swim?
Tagged by: @isaaccecilbryant
Tagging: JUST. DO IT!!!! It’s super fun actually! : D
( random enabling of vesperia feelings- tell us about baitojoh. tell us all about the blade drifts and how karol felt right then. tell us that fight from his perspective if you want, just tell us how you and karol feel about that boss fight. )
ERRYBODY SIT DOWN AND GATHER AROUND BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO FEEL ALL OVER THIS RESPONSE
Karol names all of his weapons. Unlike his typical longwinded names (though he still errs toward those with almost every other demographic), he tends to name his weapons fairly average names. His hammers are ladies, his axes are gents, and his swords go either way. His favorite hammer is named Agatha; his axe is Victor.
His prized possession is the sword that he found stuck in the Blade Drifts of Zopheir. He was especially meticulous about naming this sword, taking the Estelle-approach and attempting to give it a name with meaning. He tried a collection of names before he eventually settled on Mai. He read it in a book, and found that it apparently meant “keep moving forward”, which seemed like exactly the sentiment he would want to remember when wielding it. He only uses this sword on certain missions, much preferring to keep it in good condition; its more commonly found on a rack he made and placed on his wall- a sort of memorial as well as a lingering reminder of his resolve to progress.
The even was the origin of the guilds, However now, once again, the iron shackles of oppression have been wrapped around our necks.
We have forgotten the pledge of ancestors and have become people who do naught but pursue our own self-interests and fight amongst ourselves.
Therefore we once again return to the underlying principles behind guilds, and use not our strength for the individual.
Our swords serve our freedom.
Our shields serve our friends.
Outlives serve everyone.
Here we pledge the old oath anew.
Long ago our ancestors abandoned their nations for forgetting their duty to protect their people
And thus became the true defenders of freedom
That is how the Guilds first began.
But now, the iron shackles of oppression threaten to strangle us once again.
It is because we have forgotten the oath of our ancestors
And spent our time fighting one another for our own self-interests.
Therefore, we must once again return to the basic principles behind the guilds, and join our strengths together as one
We off our swords for freedom
Our shields for friendship
And our lives for the common good.
Here we renew our ancient oath.
The fact that I love Karol and Raven so much is almost only further deepened by the fact that one of the first interactions we have between them is Raven like hey c’mere and then ditching him to fight a giant bug and just shouting Show ‘im what for, kid! and I’m like okay this is how trauma happens
So are you the latest guild to take him in?
You can do a lot better than that loser!
I don’t really feel like I need to express how many levels of fucked up this kind of is. Karol is twelve years old. The fact that fully grown adults are mocking him and publicly humiliating him to the point of wanting to avoid his own home town is an action that I feel should speak for itself in terms of acceptability.
But this needs to be addressed. By this point in canon, Karol has already been shocked- thrilled, but surprised beyond belief, that Yuri was taking him seriously, be it about guilds or anything else to be honest. Karol is a smart kid. He’s shown himself to be talented, well oriented in what he’s doing in the world- he knows cardinal directions, maps of multiple continents by normal recall; he’s proficient with the blastia regardless of his confidence and courage. He fights monsters that most children his age would balk and run at even regardless of the ones he subsequently balks and runs at.
How on earth ( or Terca Lumeries if we must ) has no one accepted that he is a child and should be tended to and taught rather than publicly mocked and ridiculed for perceived weakness? People wonder why Karol has an innate tendency to lie and bolster his own worth when faced with this?
All this kid can brag about is the number of guilds he’s joined! Oh right, that’s a bad thing.
Is it?? First of all: you were employing and expecting an adult work load out of a minor. Which is kinda shitty. Second of all, he’s probably, at this point, got more marketable and useful skills than you do due to the plasticity and intellect of children. So fuck you?
But gosh, then there’s Yuri to the rescue. If anyone ever underplays Yuri’s importance in Karol’s confidence and subsequent success, I will literally tear my own nails off in rebellion because he is so important to Karol. To call out those that are demeaning him and to support and validate Karol? Yuri is one of the first people ever to show Karol that he intrinsically has worth and merit just in being him, let alone how incredible his skillset is for someone of his age. He doesn’t diminish him for being scared or for being a damn kid- the things he’s doing? facing? enduring? Everyone else in the group has at least some metric more of life on him. It’s no small feat that he’s keeping pace with them. That’s worthy of praise. And the fact that Karol is being demeaned for it on a public forum is horrific.
And the shock! In Karol’s expression as Yuri calls them out! “Are these your friends? You can do better than this-” And Karol looks horrified and shocked- because this is probably the first time that someone has stood up to these people, stood against them instead of vindicating their position and invalidating Karol’s struggle to be enough for these people. He does everything he can, works so hard, and for once, someone is supporting him. And he. . . doesn’t know really what to do with it other than be horrified- because Yuri is an outsider, Yuri doesn’t understand, it’s his fault, he’s not enough, he needs to do better, don’t stand up to these guys when you aren’t from here- but also holy shit that was really cool you can actually say that stuff is it okay if I say that stuff can I stand up for myself does that work-?!
And then Estelle to support-! My heart is so full! The poor kid looks like he’s going to cry, feeling supporting and validated by his companions ( friends? Karol wants them to be but I’m sure at this point he’s nervous to insist that )`. Also shoutout for Estelle for calling their toxic masculinity out ‘cause choice. And for them to follow it with shut up only corroborates her point.
EVEN RITA?! LIKE yes she says it in a weird wrap-around way, but to agree with Estelle at this point, I think even Karol can appreciate that of all people, Rita ( who is soundly convinced hates him at this point because well yeah ) agrees with Estelle. . . well maybe they have a point! And maybe. . .maybe that’s enough. . . ?
And he would stand by that! It wasn’t! He was tough! Tougher than anybody, tougher than they expected! He had to be. That’d always been prioritized throughout his whole life- be strong, take care of yourself, stop bugging people, quit being a pest, get stronger, leave us alone-
He puffed up his chest, slamming the hilt of his axe into the ground with enough force that he felt it reverberate painfully through his elbow. “Yuri, you’re gonna have to start taking me more seriously as the leader of this guild!” Because he wasn’t acting!
. . . and if he was, don’t call him out like that, dude. . . .
But he wasn’t? He ran from everything in his path. He abandoned people when things got hard. He shook in his boots at the first sign of trouble, armed himself just enough to seem capable when the cards fell. But. . . he was getting better, wasn’t he? Sure, his legs shook, but he still stood on them. And he withdrew only a few steps now before diving into the fray. His voice shook, but didn’t he speak?
. . . did any of that count?
To Raven it certainly seemed to, and his words caught Karol off guard. He was brave. He was brave. He was. . .
“. . . thanks, Raven.” He didn’t feel like it. But if Raven thought he was? Well then he was just going to have to work that much harder to prove him right!
So I updated my rules page. These rules apply on all of my blogs. One day I’ll c/p to each of the blogs, but I’ll be rebageling this to active blogs too to kinda flag people to it. <3 Thanks a million guys, and don’t forget to love each other!
“Bu’m not tired…” He was. He absolutely was. Karol was nothing if not consistent with his sleep schedule- if the sky slept, he needed to. But the further issue was that pesky fever he’d spiked a couple hours ago. No, he hadn’t said anything ( it just happens; he’s always dealt with it, it’s fine, don’t worry about him ), and he had stuff to do.
Namely working on this monster manual. These entries weren’t going to complete themselves, Yuri. “’m almost done.”
snowghoul
titsay
jbbartram-illu
blakekathryn
ellievsbear
