Stop Start Do

Habits For Elite Performance

[stopstartdo-blog]

Ask Ben: How do I Figure Out My Path in Life?

There's a variety of reader and listener questions lately, so I thought it would be fun to share a recent exchange I had with a top performer who asked a great question. 

Here's the original question:

"My name is Dillon, I am a young college student from Utah.  I am someone who is trying figure out what to do with their life.  I am newly married and want to do the best I can for the future of my family.  If you have any advice, I would love to hear it."

 My Answer:

It's important to understand that intellectually, you will never understand your "path in life" or "purpose." Your mind is in a state of constant motion (like the ocean) and will never let you settle on a singular purpose. Today you may feel like you want to be an author, tomorrow an entrepreneur, the day after that an investment banker. This is entirely normal, and every top performer in the history of the modern world has struggled with this.

Instead, you must embrace the constantly changing nature of your mind. The way you do this is through a formal mediation practice where every day you sit down, focus on your breath and feel into your purpose. If you do this with enough consistency and intentionality, you'll feel pulled to certain subjects or fields of study. You won't be able to explain your attraction to these subjects. Instead, you'll feel an unexplainable visceral connection.

With that being said, we all have areas of strength where we can stand out, make a great living and uniquely express our purpose. I call it:

Your Business Destiny.

Here are five questions that I want you to answer in regards to your unique business destiny. These questions have helped me focus and narrow down the path I am supposed to follow. In the past year, I have walked 6-7 coaching clients through this, with fantastic results.

The goal is to create a one sentence business destiny plan that is unique to you.

 Let's Get Busy - Your Business Destiny

These questions above work well for figuring out your career path or giving you more insight into the projects and entrepreneurial endeavors that come up.

These questions were developed by cognitive scientists, psychologists, top entrepreneurs, and neuroscientists.  They work because they help you focus on personal strengths, the environment you grew up in and the areas of life where you find passion and purpose.

Each person is going to have a unique business destiny and should not try to follow or copy anyone else.

 The Questions:

What sort of influences, subjects, topics and themes were consistent in your childhood and adolescence?

What have you been doing for the last ten years?

What compliments do strangers give you consistently? This is huge. If people who don’t know you mention it consistently then it’s something immediately noticeable in your demeanor, energy, appearance, spirit, consciousness, etc. Spend a lot of time with this one.

What do you talk about with friends on a Friday or Saturday night effortlessly?

What did I want to do at 14 years old?  

 How to Do It:

The goal of this exercise is to create a one sentence business destiny plan that is extremely specific to you. It won't be perfect, and that's OK. 

Side Point: Like I mentioned earlier, due to the constantly changing nature of your mind your answers to the questions above will change depending on your level of consciousness and the current belief systems you hold. 

Brainstorm - Answer each question with as many ideas that come to mind. Get messy and throw everything on the table.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat - A day later, go back and answer the questions again on a new sheet of paper. Compare them to your first set of answers.

Find the hidden ties that bind - Ask yourself, where do all these questions intersect?

Wash, Rinse, Repeat - Repeat the questions over and over until you come up with an answer you are satisfied with. You should talk through your answers with your parents, friends, family, mastermind partners, coworkers, etc.

 For Example, here’s the evolution of my many attempts: 

1st Attempt: Helping men and women find their own path, meaning, purpose and truth. To help them step out of social conditioning and start living life on their own terms. (huh?)

2nd Attempt: I am unleashing the potential of people and systems. (one could easily imagine this being read during the unveiling of the original Macintosh in 1984)

3rd Attempt: “Answering life’s hard questions with science” (what?)

4th Attempt: - not worth sharing - (complete garbage)

10th Attempt: Exploring Life's Hard Questions Using Science, Spirituality, and Philosophy (closer)

Using this framework, you can develop a filter in which you can judge all career paths, business opportunities, or projects which come your way. You will understand what types of work will make you happy and which ones will make you miserable.

 Let's Recap

You have two action items:

Start a daily formal meditation practice. 5-10 minutes first thing in the morning is a good place to start. 

Complete the business destiny questions and refine your answers until you feel an unexplainable connection to your unique business destiny. 

 Article Inspired By:

[stopstartdo-blog]

Ask Ben: How do I Figure Out My Path in Life?

There's a variety of reader and listener questions lately, so I thought it would be fun to share a recent exchange I had with a top performer who asked a great question. 

Here's the original question:

"My name is Dillon, I am a young college student from Utah.  I am someone who is trying figure out what to do with their life.  I am newly married and want to do the best I can for the future of my family.  If you have any advice, I would love to hear it."

 My Answer:

It's important to understand that intellectually, you will never understand your "path in life" or "purpose." Your mind is in a state of constant motion (like the ocean) and will never let you settle on a singular purpose. Today you may feel like you want to be an author, tomorrow an entrepreneur, the day after that an investment banker. This is entirely normal, and every top performer in the history of the modern world has struggled with this.

Instead, you must embrace the constantly changing nature of your mind. The way you do this is through a formal mediation practice where every day you sit down, focus on your breath and feel into your purpose. If you do this with enough consistency and intentionality, you'll feel pulled to certain subjects or fields of study. You won't be able to explain your attraction to these subjects. Instead, you'll feel an unexplainable visceral connection.

With that being said, we all have areas of strength where we can stand out, make a great living and uniquely express our purpose. I call it:

Your Business Destiny.

Here are five questions that I want you to answer in regards to your unique business destiny. These questions have helped me focus and narrow down the path I am supposed to follow. In the past year, I have walked 6-7 coaching clients through this, with fantastic results.

The goal is to create a one sentence business destiny plan that is unique to you.

 Let's Get Busy - Your Business Destiny

These questions above work well for figuring out your career path or giving you more insight into the projects and entrepreneurial endeavors that come up.

These questions were developed by cognitive scientists, psychologists, top entrepreneurs, and neuroscientists.  They work because they help you focus on personal strengths, the environment you grew up in and the areas of life where you find passion and purpose.

Each person is going to have a unique business destiny and should not try to follow or copy anyone else.

 The Questions:

What sort of influences, subjects, topics and themes were consistent in your childhood and adolescence?

What have you been doing for the last ten years?

What compliments do strangers give you consistently? This is huge. If people who don’t know you mention it consistently then it’s something immediately noticeable in your demeanor, energy, appearance, spirit, consciousness, etc. Spend a lot of time with this one.

What do you talk about with friends on a Friday or Saturday night effortlessly?

What did I want to do at 14 years old?  

 How to Do It:

The goal of this exercise is to create a one sentence business destiny plan that is extremely specific to you. It won't be perfect, and that's OK. 

Side Point: Like I mentioned earlier, due to the constantly changing nature of your mind your answers to the questions above will change depending on your level of consciousness and the current belief systems you hold. 

Brainstorm - Answer each question with as many ideas that come to mind. Get messy and throw everything on the table.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat - A day later, go back and answer the questions again on a new sheet of paper. Compare them to your first set of answers.

Find the hidden ties that bind - Ask yourself, where do all these questions intersect?

Wash, Rinse, Repeat - Repeat the questions over and over until you come up with an answer you are satisfied with. You should talk through your answers with your parents, friends, family, mastermind partners, coworkers, etc.

 For Example, here’s the evolution of my many attempts: 

1st Attempt: Helping men and women find their own path, meaning, purpose and truth. To help them step out of social conditioning and start living life on their own terms. (huh?)

2nd Attempt: I am unleashing the potential of people and systems. (one could easily imagine this being read during the unveiling of the original Macintosh in 1984)

3rd Attempt: “Answering life’s hard questions with science” (what?)

4th Attempt: - not worth sharing - (complete garbage)

10th Attempt: Exploring Life's Hard Questions Using Science, Spirituality, and Philosophy (closer)

Using this framework, you can develop a filter in which you can judge all career paths, business opportunities, or projects which come your way. You will understand what types of work will make you happy and which ones will make you miserable.

 Let's Recap

You have two action items:

Start a daily formal meditation practice. 5-10 minutes first thing in the morning is a good place to start. 

Complete the business destiny questions and refine your answers until you feel an unexplainable connection to your unique business destiny. 

 Article Inspired By:

[stopstartdo-blog]

The Secret To Courageous Living Discovered by "The Real Indiana Jones"

At some point between 18 and 50, you stop, look around and ask yourself: “Is THIS it?"

You work all day doing pointless work in an uninspiring job. You sit in infuriating bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. You drive to your local grocery store with the sterile fluorescent lights. You return home to spend a few hours mindlessly surfing the net - too tired to do the things that would set your life in motion. The grand vision of your life seems like a distant fantasy.

As a culture, we've become complacent to work a mediocre job, drive a mediocre car, return to a mediocre home, eat mediocre food, have mediocre relationships, watch mediocre shows on Netflix, lay in mediocre bed where we buy mediocre products on Amazon, binge internet surf on mediocre social media and get mediocre sleep. We wake up only to do the same mediocre routine again and again.

There are too many mediocre things. Your life experience should not be one of them.

What happened to bold living?

What happened to excitement?

What happened to novelty?

What happened to inspiration?

What happened to your spark?

Modern adult life is designed to stamp out your aspirations with the ruthlessness of a honey badger attacking an abandoned limping baby gazelle. 

Moreover, we wonder why we are the most overweight, overworked, over medicated, over-educated, stressed out, anxious, in-debt cohort of adults in the history of the earth.

Previous generations fought wars of life and death. Our war is one of spirit.

 Enter “The Real Life Indiana Jones”

Answers for the future can often be found by digging in the past and perhaps there is no better example of courageous living than Jon Goddard. Some call him “The Real Indiana Jones” others call him the world's biggest adventure junkie. Regardless, we can all learn something from the way he unapologetically lived life.

On a rainy day in 1939, a 15-year-old John Goddard sat down at the kitchen table of his Los Angeles home with a yellow legal pad felt the spark of inspiration.

Staring at the yellow legal pad, he asked the big question:

“What do I want to do with my life?”

Inspired by the muse of the moment he wrote down three words at the top of the page: “MY LIFE LIST.”

The words stared back, simple and clear. The vision of Goddard’s future appeared and his hand wrote the vision which appeared in front of him.

The inspired Goddard started wrote and did not stop until 127 "Life List" goals stared back at him. Each goal originated in passion, curiosity and his unique search for meaning.

Inspired by the muse of the moment he wrote down three words at the top of the page: “MY LIFE LIST.”

The words stared back, simple and clear. The vision of Goddard’s future appeared, and his hand wrote the image which appeared in front of him. He wrote and did not stop until 127 "Life List" goals stared back at him on the yellow pages. Each goal originated in a place of passion, curiosity and his unique search for meaning.

His Life List goals were not simple or easy. They were not SMART goals. However, his goals had the two elements which precede any significant achievement or life breakthrough: Clarity and curiosity. Goals without these two elements are just dreams.

His goals included climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, “milking” a poisonous snake, speaking Arabic, writing a book, reading the collective works of Shakespeare, owning a cheetah, exploring the Nile River, and learning Jujitsu. Some of were downright crazy (visit the moon).

When Goddard passed in 2013, he had lived a life of adventure, achievement, happiness, and purpose, accomplishing 109 of his 127 "Life List" goals. [1]

Perhaps he was the world's greatest goal achiever.

 Reintroducing "The Life List"

If you think reading, writing, and podcasting about personal development means I have it figured out you are completely wrong. For the most of 2016, I was stuck. Unable to make progress towards my long-term goals. Stuck in a cycle of procrastination, perfectionism, and resistance. Just plain stuck.

While I could describe all of my problems with all of the vocabulary and flair of a seasoned high-performance coach, there was little I could do to drag my ass back into a state of actually producing (actually working towards my goals).

Like many people who feel stuck, I kept asking the bigger picture questions like:

"What is my purpose?"

"How can I make money and still live in a meaningful way?"

"What does God / The Universe want me to do with my life?"

"What do I need to accomplish in order to die complete?"

Nothing.

I kept asking. Still nothing.

When I do not make progress, I am not happy. When I am not happy, I get stuck in my head. When I get stuck in my head, I think too much and don't produce. And the cycle continues.

Around this time, my mastermind partner Robert James Collier recognized what was going on. He introduced me to the concept of The Life List and Goddard. After reading his article, I felt the spark come back.

Inspired by Goddard and the Life Lists of my mastermind partners (check out Robert's here and Sunny's here) I decided to create my own. Like Goddard, I sat down with a legal pad, put myself back into the mind of my 15-year-old self and started writing, remembering what I wanted to accomplish as a youth, young adult and a man.

I wrote until my fingers hurt and didn't stop until five pages were filled.

To my surprise, the missing sense of clarity, purpose, and direction returned. My spark returned. My mind opened again, and the ego slithered back into the depths of my subconscious.

Many of the things I wrote were utterly insane (go to space… i still want to), and some were quite tangible (read the works of Thoreau). In any case, I was excited again. I had a roadmap and felt a sense of clarity for the first time in months.

Since writing my initial list, I have checked off three items - build a dining room table for my family, make a home and give a best man speech. Instead of these moments passing into obscurity, I was able to fully appreciate and understand the magnitude of the moment and experience deep states of fulfillment, joy, and purpose. Each accomplished “Life List” item felt like a tremendous achievement and inspired me to tackle another "Life List" item.

I want the same for you and challenge you to create your Life List.

 Here’s how:

Sit down with a notepad (put your phone in the other room and do not use a computer).

Set a timer for 25 minutes.

Remember what you wanted to achieve when you were 13, 14 or 15.

Write MY LIFE LIST across the top.

Begin. Write what inspires you. Don't worry if it is realistic or not. Your only criteria for success is if it sparks your curiosity.

Think about it for a few more minutes.

If nothing else comes to mind, stop. Take a break and do something active like walking around the park, run errands, play a round of golf, hit the gym or take a nap. When something pops into your head, write it down.

Keep the list with you for an entire week, writing down everything which comes to mind.

Compare your list with the lists of others for inspiration. Remember, "Good artists copy; great artists steal" – Picasso. (Check out Goddards original list here)

Refine. Rework. Redraft.

Keep the items which inspire you. Discard the rest.

Place your list in a place where you frequently have to look at it. Your desk, wall or social media profile are good places to start. 

As more ideas come to you over the coming weeks, months and years add to your list. Discard anything that grows stale.

When opportunity knocks take advantage and start crossing off items on your list. 

 Your Call To Action

"The first move toward mastery is always inward - learning who you really are and reconnecting with that innate force. Knowing it with clarity, you will find your way to the proper career path, and everything else will fall into place. It is never too late to start this process."  -- Robert Greene, Mastery

At some point you’ll stop and realize “THIS IS IT”. You’ll understand the only way to find your “path in life”, “your purpose” or “make an impact” is to reconnect with your natural curiosity and let it guide your decision making.

The best way to do this is by first creating your Life List. 

 Resources:

[1] http://www.johngoddard.info

[stopstartdo-blog]

The Secret To Courageous Living Discovered by "The Real Indiana Jones"

At some point between 18 and 50, you stop, look around and ask yourself: “Is THIS it?"

You work all day doing pointless work in an uninspiring job. You sit in infuriating bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic. You drive to your local grocery store with the sterile fluorescent lights. You return home to spend a few hours mindlessly surfing the net - too tired to do the things that would set your life in motion. The grand vision of your life seems like a distant fantasy.

As a culture, we've become complacent to work a mediocre job, drive a mediocre car, return to a mediocre home, eat mediocre food, have mediocre relationships, watch mediocre shows on Netflix, lay in mediocre bed where we buy mediocre products on Amazon, binge internet surf on mediocre social media and get mediocre sleep. We wake up only to do the same mediocre routine again and again.

There are too many mediocre things. Your life experience should not be one of them.

What happened to bold living?

What happened to excitement?

What happened to novelty?

What happened to inspiration?

What happened to your spark?

Modern adult life is designed to stamp out your aspirations with the ruthlessness of a honey badger attacking an abandoned limping baby gazelle. 

Moreover, we wonder why we are the most overweight, overworked, over medicated, over-educated, stressed out, anxious, in-debt cohort of adults in the history of the earth.

Previous generations fought wars of life and death. Our war is one of spirit.

 Enter “The Real Life Indiana Jones”

Answers for the future can often be found by digging in the past and perhaps there is no better example of courageous living than Jon Goddard. Some call him “The Real Indiana Jones” others call him the world's biggest adventure junkie. Regardless, we can all learn something from the way he unapologetically lived life.

On a rainy day in 1939, a 15-year-old John Goddard sat down at the kitchen table of his Los Angeles home with a yellow legal pad felt the spark of inspiration.

Staring at the yellow legal pad, he asked the big question:

“What do I want to do with my life?”

Inspired by the muse of the moment he wrote down three words at the top of the page: “MY LIFE LIST.”

The words stared back, simple and clear. The vision of Goddard’s future appeared and his hand wrote the vision which appeared in front of him.

The inspired Goddard started wrote and did not stop until 127 "Life List" goals stared back at him. Each goal originated in passion, curiosity and his unique search for meaning.

Inspired by the muse of the moment he wrote down three words at the top of the page: “MY LIFE LIST.”

The words stared back, simple and clear. The vision of Goddard’s future appeared, and his hand wrote the image which appeared in front of him. He wrote and did not stop until 127 "Life List" goals stared back at him on the yellow pages. Each goal originated in a place of passion, curiosity and his unique search for meaning.

His Life List goals were not simple or easy. They were not SMART goals. However, his goals had the two elements which precede any significant achievement or life breakthrough: Clarity and curiosity. Goals without these two elements are just dreams.

His goals included climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, “milking” a poisonous snake, speaking Arabic, writing a book, reading the collective works of Shakespeare, owning a cheetah, exploring the Nile River, and learning Jujitsu. Some of were downright crazy (visit the moon).

When Goddard passed in 2013, he had lived a life of adventure, achievement, happiness, and purpose, accomplishing 109 of his 127 "Life List" goals. [1]

Perhaps he was the world's greatest goal achiever.

 Reintroducing "The Life List"

If you think reading, writing, and podcasting about personal development means I have it figured out you are completely wrong. For the most of 2016, I was stuck. Unable to make progress towards my long-term goals. Stuck in a cycle of procrastination, perfectionism, and resistance. Just plain stuck.

While I could describe all of my problems with all of the vocabulary and flair of a seasoned high-performance coach, there was little I could do to drag my ass back into a state of actually producing (actually working towards my goals).

Like many people who feel stuck, I kept asking the bigger picture questions like:

"What is my purpose?"

"How can I make money and still live in a meaningful way?"

"What does God / The Universe want me to do with my life?"

"What do I need to accomplish in order to die complete?"

Nothing.

I kept asking. Still nothing.

When I do not make progress, I am not happy. When I am not happy, I get stuck in my head. When I get stuck in my head, I think too much and don't produce. And the cycle continues.

Around this time, my mastermind partner Robert James Collier recognized what was going on. He introduced me to the concept of The Life List and Goddard. After reading his article, I felt the spark come back.

Inspired by Goddard and the Life Lists of my mastermind partners (check out Robert's here and Sunny's here) I decided to create my own. Like Goddard, I sat down with a legal pad, put myself back into the mind of my 15-year-old self and started writing, remembering what I wanted to accomplish as a youth, young adult and a man.

I wrote until my fingers hurt and didn't stop until five pages were filled.

To my surprise, the missing sense of clarity, purpose, and direction returned. My spark returned. My mind opened again, and the ego slithered back into the depths of my subconscious.

Many of the things I wrote were utterly insane (go to space… i still want to), and some were quite tangible (read the works of Thoreau). In any case, I was excited again. I had a roadmap and felt a sense of clarity for the first time in months.

Since writing my initial list, I have checked off three items - build a dining room table for my family, make a home and give a best man speech. Instead of these moments passing into obscurity, I was able to fully appreciate and understand the magnitude of the moment and experience deep states of fulfillment, joy, and purpose. Each accomplished “Life List” item felt like a tremendous achievement and inspired me to tackle another "Life List" item.

I want the same for you and challenge you to create your Life List.

 Here’s how:

Sit down with a notepad (put your phone in the other room and do not use a computer).

Set a timer for 25 minutes.

Remember what you wanted to achieve when you were 13, 14 or 15.

Write MY LIFE LIST across the top.

Begin. Write what inspires you. Don't worry if it is realistic or not. Your only criteria for success is if it sparks your curiosity.

Think about it for a few more minutes.

If nothing else comes to mind, stop. Take a break and do something active like walking around the park, run errands, play a round of golf, hit the gym or take a nap. When something pops into your head, write it down.

Keep the list with you for an entire week, writing down everything which comes to mind.

Compare your list with the lists of others for inspiration. Remember, "Good artists copy; great artists steal" – Picasso. (Check out Goddards original list here)

Refine. Rework. Redraft.

Keep the items which inspire you. Discard the rest.

Place your list in a place where you frequently have to look at it. Your desk, wall or social media profile are good places to start. 

As more ideas come to you over the coming weeks, months and years add to your list. Discard anything that grows stale.

When opportunity knocks take advantage and start crossing off items on your list. 

 Your Call To Action

"The first move toward mastery is always inward - learning who you really are and reconnecting with that innate force. Knowing it with clarity, you will find your way to the proper career path, and everything else will fall into place. It is never too late to start this process."  -- Robert Greene, Mastery

At some point you’ll stop and realize “THIS IS IT”. You’ll understand the only way to find your “path in life”, “your purpose” or “make an impact” is to reconnect with your natural curiosity and let it guide your decision making.

The best way to do this is by first creating your Life List. 

 Resources:

[1] http://www.johngoddard.info

[stopstartdo-blog]

Stop Wasting Willpower. Light A Fire Under Your Ass.

Doing the right thing is exhausting. 

Going to the gym. Eating the right foods. Writing your first book. Being present with your partner. Developing your passion project. Putting in extra hours at work. Giving 100% all out effort. Putting down the remote and reading a book. Moving to Africa to start a school. etc. etc. etc. 

Why is it that everything worth doing is hard? And everything that's a waste seems to happen without effort or thought?

Thinking about these questions reminded me of the times I was able to consistently push my comfort zone. The times when I was able to do the right thing and enter periods of exponential personal growth. 

All of these times had one thing in common - I had fire under my ass. 

Here's the story...

In the 80 and 90's Astroturf became very famous for high-use athletic fields. Astroturf didn't need to be watered, maintained or manicured. You showed up, and the field was ready. If you watched American football during the 90’s, you saw a lot of games played on Astroturf.

In the early 2000's most high-use athletic fields in the inner city, areas were changed from Astroturf to a new type of turf called "Sprinturf," which was superior in almost every single way. 

Overall it was about 10X better than Astroturf - fewer rug burns, more cushion, limited injuries and it made the transition to playing on real grass much smoother.

But, there was one fatal flaw of Sprinturf which happened on hot summer days. After roasting in the late summer sun, the rubber cushioning of the Sprinturf absorbed heat like a giant cast iron skillet.  The combination of leather cleats, blister-generating friction, and black bits of rubber caused your feet to sweat, burn and blister. So much that, at the end of practice your feet resembled bubbly mozzarella on top of a hot Neapolitan pizza. Any time you stood in place for more than a few seconds your feet began to sizzle.

To make matters more intense, our head coach harnessed his inner Herb Brooks and would yell and scream at us for any sign of apathy, laziness or lack of 100% all out effort. If someone were dogging it or saving their energy, we would all pay with sprints until our legs, lungs, and feet burned. It was grueling. 

The environment demanded a sense of urgency. Otherwise, your feet would burn off, and you'd be cut, publicly humiliated or be shamed into submission. 

With an extreme scene of yelling, screaming, burning feet and where laziness wasn't tolerated, you learned to move fast, stay focused and give 100% all-out effort. There wasn't time to procrastinate or be a perfectionist. The present moment was the only thing that mattered. 

My point is - whatever goal you are trying to achieve, it's a lot easier to do the right thing when there are consequences for failure. 

So instead of blaming yourself for failing with diet, business, relationship, fitness goal, or passion project...

LIGHT A FIRE UNDER YOUR ASS. 

[stopstartdo-blog]

Stop Wasting Willpower. Light A Fire Under Your Ass.

Doing the right thing is exhausting. 

Going to the gym. Eating the right foods. Writing your first book. Being present with your partner. Developing your passion project. Putting in extra hours at work. Giving 100% all out effort. Putting down the remote and reading a book. Moving to Africa to start a school. etc. etc. etc. 

Why is it that everything worth doing is hard? And everything that's a waste seems to happen without effort or thought?

Thinking about these questions reminded me of the times I was able to consistently push my comfort zone. The times when I was able to do the right thing and enter periods of exponential personal growth. 

All of these times had one thing in common - I had fire under my ass. 

Here's the story...

In the 80 and 90's Astroturf became very famous for high-use athletic fields. Astroturf didn't need to be watered, maintained or manicured. You showed up, and the field was ready. If you watched American football during the 90’s, you saw a lot of games played on Astroturf.

In the early 2000's most high-use athletic fields in the inner city, areas were changed from Astroturf to a new type of turf called "Sprinturf," which was superior in almost every single way. 

Overall it was about 10X better than Astroturf - fewer rug burns, more cushion, limited injuries and it made the transition to playing on real grass much smoother.

But, there was one fatal flaw of Sprinturf which happened on hot summer days. After roasting in the late summer sun, the rubber cushioning of the Sprinturf absorbed heat like a giant cast iron skillet.  The combination of leather cleats, blister-generating friction, and black bits of rubber caused your feet to sweat, burn and blister. So much that, at the end of practice your feet resembled bubbly mozzarella on top of a hot Neapolitan pizza. Any time you stood in place for more than a few seconds your feet began to sizzle.

To make matters more intense, our head coach harnessed his inner Herb Brooks and would yell and scream at us for any sign of apathy, laziness or lack of 100% all out effort. If someone were dogging it or saving their energy, we would all pay with sprints until our legs, lungs, and feet burned. It was grueling. 

The environment demanded a sense of urgency. Otherwise, your feet would burn off, and you'd be cut, publicly humiliated or be shamed into submission. 

With an extreme scene of yelling, screaming, burning feet and where laziness wasn't tolerated, you learned to move fast, stay focused and give 100% all-out effort. There wasn't time to procrastinate or be a perfectionist. The present moment was the only thing that mattered. 

My point is - whatever goal you are trying to achieve, it's a lot easier to do the right thing when there are consequences for failure. 

So instead of blaming yourself for failing with diet, business, relationship, fitness goal, or passion project...

LIGHT A FIRE UNDER YOUR ASS. 

[stopstartdo-blog]

Katrina Razavi - The Secrets of World Class Charisma, Influence and Confident Communication

Have you ever wondered why sometimes you are the life of the party and other times you feel like an awkward junior high student talking to the popular kids?

My friend Katrina Razavi has the answer for you! She's spent YEARS perfecting her techniques for effective communication, rock star charisma, and Jedi-like influence and today she's going to share it all with you!

As a former introvert, she learned how to flex her "extrovert muscle" and connect with influencers on a deep and meaningful level. She has leveraged these skills to pitch in front of top Silicon Valley VC’s, approach VIP’s like Marc Cuban, Arianna Huffington, and Magic Johnson and EVEN go to VIP events like Kim Kardashian and Kanye's engagement party (now I'm really jealous!).

 In this exclusive interview you'll learn:

The most common things you see people do WRONG in social situations!

How to keep conversations flowing naturally, even if you feel awkward right now.

Effective "Conversational Cue's" and Katrina's "3'S" technique!

How to master your “Power Pose” and convey confident body language.

How to shut up that negative inner voice (you know, the one that gets in the way ALL the time).

 Click On The Play Button To Listen Now!

 Guest Bio:

Katrina Razavi is the founder of CommunicationForNerds.Com. She helps people who struggle with communication make the impression they want and communicate in an authentic way.

She’s used her communication skills to pitch in front of top Silicon Valley VC’s, approach VIP’s like Marc Cuban, Arianna Huffington, and Magic Johnson and EVEN go to VIP events like Kim Kardashian and Kanye's engagement party.

Her work has been featured on the Huffington Post, LifeHack, Smart Business Revolution, and much more.

 Questions/Topics We Cover!

How did you become interested in communication and what's the story behind Communication for Nerds?

What has studying communication allowed you to do in your professional and work life? 

Let's talk about communicating as aspiring leaders who can influence and motivate others to take action.

What are the core beliefs someone needs to begin their journey as effective communicators?

Practical strategies for developing confidence in our social conversations and presentations?

Why do most of us struggle to communicate with confidence?

What are the most common things you see people do wrong in social situations?

Why are we so afraid to connect and put ourselves out there?

We are our worst critics. How can we STOP blaming ourselves when things go wrong?

What are effective strategies for developing confidence in social situations and presentations

What strategies can someone implement today that will help them keep conversations going naturally?

Are there any daily habits, rituals or practices that you teach to develop long-term core confidence?

 Rapid Fire Questions:

What is the #1 habit you contribute most to your success?

Organizing

What is your current morning routine like?

Meditation

Gratitude

coffee

What is the #1 book you’ve recommended to others and why?

What is your favorite online tool or app?

Evernote

Spotify

Is there a course either online or in person that you consistently recommend to others?

Toastmasters

Before you take off, can you let us know where the best place is to connect with you?

www.communicationfornerds.com

 Liked the episode? Get her FREE E-COURSE now by following the link below!

Click HERE --- > WWW.COMMUNICATIONFORNERDS.COM/unleashed

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Katrina Razavi - The Secrets of World Class Charisma, Influence and Confident Communication

Have you ever wondered why sometimes you are the life of the party and other times you feel like an awkward junior high student talking to the popular kids?

My friend Katrina Razavi has the answer for you! She's spent YEARS perfecting her techniques for effective communication, rock star charisma, and Jedi-like influence and today she's going to share it all with you!

As a former introvert, she learned how to flex her "extrovert muscle" and connect with influencers on a deep and meaningful level. She has leveraged these skills to pitch in front of top Silicon Valley VC’s, approach VIP’s like Marc Cuban, Arianna Huffington, and Magic Johnson and EVEN go to VIP events like Kim Kardashian and Kanye's engagement party (now I'm really jealous!).

 In this exclusive interview you'll learn:

The most common things you see people do WRONG in social situations!

How to keep conversations flowing naturally, even if you feel awkward right now.

Effective "Conversational Cue's" and Katrina's "3'S" technique!

How to master your “Power Pose” and convey confident body language.

How to shut up that negative inner voice (you know, the one that gets in the way ALL the time).

 Click On The Play Button To Listen Now!

 Guest Bio:

Katrina Razavi is the founder of CommunicationForNerds.Com. She helps people who struggle with communication make the impression they want and communicate in an authentic way.

She’s used her communication skills to pitch in front of top Silicon Valley VC’s, approach VIP’s like Marc Cuban, Arianna Huffington, and Magic Johnson and EVEN go to VIP events like Kim Kardashian and Kanye's engagement party.

Her work has been featured on the Huffington Post, LifeHack, Smart Business Revolution, and much more.

 Questions/Topics We Cover!

How did you become interested in communication and what's the story behind Communication for Nerds?

What has studying communication allowed you to do in your professional and work life? 

Let's talk about communicating as aspiring leaders who can influence and motivate others to take action.

What are the core beliefs someone needs to begin their journey as effective communicators?

Practical strategies for developing confidence in our social conversations and presentations?

Why do most of us struggle to communicate with confidence?

What are the most common things you see people do wrong in social situations?

Why are we so afraid to connect and put ourselves out there?

We are our worst critics. How can we STOP blaming ourselves when things go wrong?

What are effective strategies for developing confidence in social situations and presentations

What strategies can someone implement today that will help them keep conversations going naturally?

Are there any daily habits, rituals or practices that you teach to develop long-term core confidence?

 Rapid Fire Questions:

What is the #1 habit you contribute most to your success?

Organizing

What is your current morning routine like?

Meditation

Gratitude

coffee

What is the #1 book you’ve recommended to others and why?

What is your favorite online tool or app?

Evernote

Spotify

Is there a course either online or in person that you consistently recommend to others?

Toastmasters

Before you take off, can you let us know where the best place is to connect with you?

www.communicationfornerds.com

 Liked the episode? Get her FREE E-COURSE now by following the link below!

Click HERE --- > WWW.COMMUNICATIONFORNERDS.COM/unleashed

[stopstartdo-blog]

Dr. Jeff Spencer - Why some people succeed and others fail.

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE SUCCEED AND OTHERS FAIL? Our next guest on the podcast Dr. Jeff Spencer has an interesting perspective on the question. For the past forty years, he’s been a professional student of human achievement and has worked with and alongside Gold-Medal Olympians, World-Champion Athletes, Fortune 500 Leaders, Including Sir Richard Branson, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Bono and U2, Maria Sharapova and many other top performers just like you. In this exclusive Interview with Dr. Jeff Spencer, you’ll learn: * The success framework Dr. Spencer used to become an Olympic athlete. * How to crack the code of the champions blueprint. * Why not getting what you want right away is a good thing. * The distinction between passion and purpose. * How to find purpose by following your natural curiosity. * How to create laser-like focus and not deviate from your goals. * How to differentiate between goals and wishes. * Why all objectives are often like romantic relationships. * How to develop a winning mindset, push through resistance, and excel as a leader.

[stopstartdo-blog]

Dr. Jeff Spencer - Why some people succeed and others fail.

Why do some people succeed and others fail?

 Our next guest on the podcast Dr. Jeff Spencer has an interesting perspective on the question. 

For the past forty years, he’s been a professional student of human achievement and has worked with and alongside Gold-Medal Olympians, World-Champion Athletes, Fortune 500 Leaders, Including Sir Richard Branson, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Bono and U2, Maria Sharapova and many other top performers just like you. 

 In this exclusive Interview with Dr. Jeff Spencer, you’ll learn:

The success framework Dr. Spencer used to become an Olympic athlete.

How to crack the code of the champions blueprint.

Why not getting what you want right away is a good thing. 

The distinction between passion and purpose.

How to find purpose by following your natural curiosity.  

How to create laser-like focus and not deviate from your goals.

How to differentiate between goals and wishes.

Why all objectives are often like romantic relationships.

How to develop a winning mindset, push through resistance, and excel as a leader.

 Click On The Play Button To Listen Right NOW!

 Questions and Topics Covered:

Tell us what you do and how you became interested in peak performance?

How did you discover that you wanted to dedicate your life to teaching others to be the best version of themselves?

How to distinguish between temporary passion and meaningful purpose

How did your career as an athlete influence your ability to master new subjects and skills later in life?

Champions Blueprint Workshop: 

Tell us about the workshop and what someone can expect if they attend?

Creating a Legacy Statement

How do we develop a state of readiness so that we can perform during those pivotal moments?

What steps can someone take right now if they want to start creating their champions blueprint?

 Rapid Fire Questions:

What is the #1 habit you contribute most to your success?

Persistence

What mentor had the biggest impact on your life and why?

His Olympic cycling coach, especially when he said: “your highest obligation is to follow your curiosity.”

Do you have a morning routine or a ritual to prime yourself for the day?

Take the time to be aware of your conscious awareness before you do anything else, where revelation and problem solving are presenting to our consciousness.

Wait 2-3 minutes before we go into full conscious awareness.

What is the #1 book you’ve recommended to others and why?

Art of War - Lao Tzu

The Bible

Where’s the best place is to connect with you?

www.drjeffspencer.com (Signing up for his email list!)

 Resources Mentioned During the Show

 Attend A Workshop with Dr. Spencer

Get more information about the Champions Blueprint by clicking here.

[stopstartdo-blog]

Dr. Jeff Spencer - Why some people succeed and others fail.

Why do some people succeed and others fail?

 Our next guest on the podcast Dr. Jeff Spencer has an interesting perspective on the question. 

For the past forty years, he’s been a professional student of human achievement and has worked with and alongside Gold-Medal Olympians, World-Champion Athletes, Fortune 500 Leaders, Including Sir Richard Branson, Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, Bono and U2, Maria Sharapova and many other top performers just like you. 

 In this exclusive Interview with Dr. Jeff Spencer, you’ll learn:

The success framework Dr. Spencer used to become an Olympic athlete.

How to crack the code of the champions blueprint.

Why not getting what you want right away is a good thing. 

The distinction between passion and purpose.

How to find purpose by following your natural curiosity.  

How to create laser-like focus and not deviate from your goals.

How to differentiate between goals and wishes.

Why all objectives are often like romantic relationships.

How to develop a winning mindset, push through resistance, and excel as a leader.

 Click On The Play Button To Listen Right NOW!

 Questions and Topics Covered:

Tell us what you do and how you became interested in peak performance?

How did you discover that you wanted to dedicate your life to teaching others to be the best version of themselves?

How to distinguish between temporary passion and meaningful purpose

How did your career as an athlete influence your ability to master new subjects and skills later in life?

Champions Blueprint Workshop: 

Tell us about the workshop and what someone can expect if they attend?

Creating a Legacy Statement

How do we develop a state of readiness so that we can perform during those pivotal moments?

What steps can someone take right now if they want to start creating their champions blueprint?

 Rapid Fire Questions:

What is the #1 habit you contribute most to your success?

Persistence

What mentor had the biggest impact on your life and why?

His Olympic cycling coach, especially when he said: “your highest obligation is to follow your curiosity.”

Do you have a morning routine or a ritual to prime yourself for the day?

Take the time to be aware of your conscious awareness before you do anything else, where revelation and problem solving are presenting to our consciousness.

Wait 2-3 minutes before we go into full conscious awareness.

What is the #1 book you’ve recommended to others and why?

Art of War - Lao Tzu

The Bible

Where’s the best place is to connect with you?

www.drjeffspencer.com (Signing up for his email list!)

 Resources Mentioned During the Show

 Attend A Workshop with Dr. Spencer

Get more information about the Champions Blueprint by clicking here.

[stopstartdo-blog]

UNLEASH YOUR INNER GENIUS The Podcast That Puts Your Personal Development On Steroids _____________ Get Your FREE Habit Resource Guide FREE GUIDE !

[stopstartdo-blog]

Kris J. Simpson - The 5 Fundamentals of High Performance Health

  Diets don't work.

  If you’ve ever attacked your health and fitness routine like a maniac, only to fall back into old bad habits… this is the show for you!

Enter Kris J. Simpson and his All Inclusive approach to keeping the weight off and creating high-performance health.

In this interview you will learn:

Kris’ unbeatable S-M-A-R-T Shift acronym for achieving your goals.

His incredible story of overcoming addiction and developing the strategies for living a life of richness, gratitude, and fulfillment.  

Strategies for balancing your F.E.A.R.S. (Food, Emotions, Activity, Relaxing and Sleeping).

Kris’ practices for creating a peak state and smashing your fitness and wellness goals.

How to keep the weight off by sustaining a balanced and normalized lifestyle.

Tactics for overcoming your F.E.A.R.S. (False Expectations Appearing Real Syndrome).

How to find peace, presence, and fulfillment in less than 20 minutes a day.

In the episode, Kris also gives you a copy of his new book, All Inclusive Diet: Finding Balance & Keeping the Weight Off. Tune into the episode to get the details!

 Listen Now By Clicking The Play Button!

 Kris’ Bio:

Kris J. Simpson is a veteran of the weight-loss, fitness, and physical rehabilitation industry. He is an elite personal trainer, former national bodybuilding champion and CEO and founder of Bodies By Design Fitness Studios. He was also featured as a spokesperson for health and fitness on CP24, City TV, and the E! Channel.

As a Weight-loss Coach, Seminar Leader, Speaker, and Author, Kris found his calling to help other people restore balance and keep the weight off as he did for himself. As his motto states, he will continue to – Inspire to Aspire™

 Question/Topics We Will Cover:

What’s the story behind your Interest in all things health, weight loss and fitness?

Why do you think so many top performers tend to yo-yo diet and struggle to keep the weight off?

In your book, you mention the 5-P’s of food logistics. Could you describe what they are and how someone living a busy/high-stress lifestyle can implement the 5-P’s?

In your book, you talk about the five facets of health. Could you say what those are and why each chapter begins with “awareness” and includes some form of tracking or measuring progress?

How do you recommend people approach fitness, health, and weight loss goals (the 7 Day S.M.A.R.T. SHIFT)?

 Rapid Fire Questions:

What is the #1 habit you contribute most to your success?

Guided Meditation (Headspace)

Do you have a morning routine or a ritual to prime yourself for the day?  

The 5 Minute Journal (Gratitude Journal)

What is the #1 book you’ve recommended to others and why?

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

What is your favorite online tool or app?

Google Apps

What podcasts do you tune into regularly?

Art of Charm

James Altucher

SuperHuman Entrepreneur

 Get a Free Copy Of Kris’ Book By Taking the Following Steps:

Open your email.

Compose a message to Kris (at) krisJsimpson.com

In the title write: “Your excellent Interview on UYIG!”

In the body text write: “ Hi Kris, I heard your wonderful interview on UYIG, could you please send me a free copy of your book? - Thanks! ”

Get your free copy, with no hassle.

 Other Books/Resources Mentioned:

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Author Incubator - Angela Loria

[stopstartdo-blog]

Kris J. Simpson - The 5 Fundamentals of High Performance Health

  Diets don't work.

  If you’ve ever attacked your health and fitness routine like a maniac, only to fall back into old bad habits… this is the show for you!

Enter Kris J. Simpson and his All Inclusive approach to keeping the weight off and creating high-performance health.

In this interview you will learn:

Kris’ unbeatable S-M-A-R-T Shift acronym for achieving your goals.

His incredible story of overcoming addiction and developing the strategies for living a life of richness, gratitude, and fulfillment.  

Strategies for balancing your F.E.A.R.S. (Food, Emotions, Activity, Relaxing and Sleeping).

Kris’ practices for creating a peak state and smashing your fitness and wellness goals.

How to keep the weight off by sustaining a balanced and normalized lifestyle.

Tactics for overcoming your F.E.A.R.S. (False Expectations Appearing Real Syndrome).

How to find peace, presence, and fulfillment in less than 20 minutes a day.

In the episode, Kris also gives you a copy of his new book, All Inclusive Diet: Finding Balance & Keeping the Weight Off. Tune into the episode to get the details!

 Listen Now By Clicking The Play Button!

 Kris’ Bio:

Kris J. Simpson is a veteran of the weight-loss, fitness, and physical rehabilitation industry. He is an elite personal trainer, former national bodybuilding champion and CEO and founder of Bodies By Design Fitness Studios. He was also featured as a spokesperson for health and fitness on CP24, City TV, and the E! Channel.

As a Weight-loss Coach, Seminar Leader, Speaker, and Author, Kris found his calling to help other people restore balance and keep the weight off as he did for himself. As his motto states, he will continue to – Inspire to Aspire™

 Question/Topics We Will Cover:

What’s the story behind your Interest in all things health, weight loss and fitness?

Why do you think so many top performers tend to yo-yo diet and struggle to keep the weight off?

In your book, you mention the 5-P’s of food logistics. Could you describe what they are and how someone living a busy/high-stress lifestyle can implement the 5-P’s?

In your book, you talk about the five facets of health. Could you say what those are and why each chapter begins with “awareness” and includes some form of tracking or measuring progress?

How do you recommend people approach fitness, health, and weight loss goals (the 7 Day S.M.A.R.T. SHIFT)?

 Rapid Fire Questions:

What is the #1 habit you contribute most to your success?

Guided Meditation (Headspace)

Do you have a morning routine or a ritual to prime yourself for the day?  

The 5 Minute Journal (Gratitude Journal)

What is the #1 book you’ve recommended to others and why?

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

What is your favorite online tool or app?

Google Apps

What podcasts do you tune into regularly?

Art of Charm

James Altucher

SuperHuman Entrepreneur

 Get a Free Copy Of Kris’ Book By Taking the Following Steps:

Open your email.

Compose a message to Kris (at) krisJsimpson.com

In the title write: “Your excellent Interview on UYIG!”

In the body text write: “ Hi Kris, I heard your wonderful interview on UYIG, could you please send me a free copy of your book? - Thanks! ”

Get your free copy, with no hassle.

 Other Books/Resources Mentioned:

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Author Incubator - Angela Loria

[stopstartdo-blog]

Ep 6: Ron Tsang - From Presentation To Standing Ovation

What separates a good communicator from one that captivates an audience for hours? What's the difference between a presentation that leaves the audience bored, wishing they were watching Netflix and one where they are completely enraptured with every word? What are the skills you need to develop in order to become a transformative communicator, presenter, influencer, and leader? My friend Ron Tsang is about to drop some knowledge for you! He's a presentation skill expert and author of the Amazon Canada #1 best-seller “From Presentation to Standing Ovation”. Unlike most public speaking coaches, Ron is a former stock analyst who has been pitched to by thousands of CEOs and CFOs. Ron was responsible for evaluating these presentations, so he has a unique perspective on how to communicate at the highest levels. In this exclusive interview for the UNLEASH Your Inner Genius Podcast you'll discover: * How to stay present and authentically connect with your audience. * The daily routines, habits and techniques of world-class public speakers. * How to avoid painfully bad communication mistakes that make your audience run for the exit signs. * How Warren Buffett transformed himself from painfully shy to a communicator who can capture the attention of a 20,000 person live audience. * Scientifically proven "power poses" that reduce cortisol levels and boost testosterone levels before you speak.

[stopstartdo-blog]

All Leaders Have An Inner Circle - How To Build Your Team From The Ground Up

   You Can't Do It Alone.

   Every great leader has an inner circle of friends, mentors, peers, mastermind partners, teachers, pupils and family that are a source of their genius. If you are working toward becoming the best version of you, you'll need a team.

 The Story Is Wrong

Our culture loves the idea of the genius leader who accomplishes everything on their own. We want to believe that Steve Jobs created all of his Apple products by himself in his parents' garage. Or Mark Zuckerberg coded Facebook while drinking beer in his Harvard dorm room. Or Nelson Mandela single-handedly freed South Africa from Apartheid. 

But, You Can't Do It Alone. 

Every icon, leader and entrepreneur has had a team which supported their goals. 

In the next few sections, we'll break down the fundamentals of building an inner circle so that you can attract the right kind of people in your life and get the support you'll need. 

In this article you'll discover:

Why you become the average of the people in your inner circle.  

How the people you spend time with will determine your level of success.

Who to include in your inner circle.

Why you shouldn’t be the smartest person in every room or the most incompetent.

How to build it - the practical strategies

 Discovery - Who You Spend Time With Is Who You Become

In the 80s and 1990s, neurophysiologists Giacomo Rizzolatti and his colleagues at the University of Parma conducted a series of studies designed to monitor the neurons specialized in control of the hand and mouth actions of Macaque monkeys.

By placing electrodes on the ventral premotor cortex of the macaque monkey, they found that some of the neurons recorded would respond unexpectedly. When a monkey saw a person pick up a piece of food with their hand, the animal's neurons in the premotor cortex would also respond as if the monkey was picking up the food.  [1]

Recent research has revealed that humans also have neurons with "mirror" properties, but on a much higher level of sophistication. Humans mimic the actions, facial expressions, body language, the tone of voice and behavior of the people in their environment. This mirror system evolved for thousands of years by our ancient ancestors and was used to improve social talent, develop empathy, learn new skills, and forge stronger community bonds by mirroring the patterns and behaviors of the successful people in their environment. [2] [3]

Humans also have the ability place our awareness inside the minds of others and visualize what they are thinking and feeling. It's one of the reasons why we can predict the behavior of others and use this knowledge to inspire and lead.

In short, you mirror the people your environment both good and bad. 

 Who to Include – The Law of 1/3

The best way to grow as a leader is to have a mixture of people in your inner circle as follows:

1/3 Pupils. Mentoring teaches you to be a leader. It shows you how to manage, inspire, and deliver your ideas - all necessary skills for any phase of your life.

1/3 Peers. You want people who are at or near your current capabilities of to challenge and push your boundaries.

1/3 Mentors. You learn the most from mentors who have been there before you and can provide feedback specific to your needs. Mentors streamline your progress. 

If you’re the smartest person in every room, it’s time to get in a room with more intelligent individuals who challenge you. Conversely, if you are the lowest person on the totem pole in every situation, you won’t develop as a leader.

Growth happens at the edge of your comfort zone, and you’ll to surround yourself with a mix of people below your current level, at your level and above your level.  

 Practical Strategies For Building Your Inner Circle From The Ground Up

You won’t build it overnight. It takes time, shared experiences and common values to develop meaningful relationships - just like you and your best friend didn’t become besties overnight. Most people fail to make investments in meaningful relationships, and they pay the price in mediocrity. Your potential as a leader relies on the quality of people in your inner circle.

Below we'll go through several strategies to find, meet, attract people who will help you grow into the type of leader you wish to become. 

 Finding Your Inner Circle

Join Paid Communities – Paid masterminds, online groups, and networking events are a great way to weed out the people who have no interest in taking action. When you spend your hard earned dollars on something it usually means you're serious. Paying for something shows intention, focus, desire and that you’re willing to take right action towards your goal.

Join Free Communities – Yes, sometimes free isn’t so bad. In fact, all 4 of my mastermind partners I met as part of the Rich 20 Something community.

Join Local Meetup.com Groups - One of my buddies moved from the rural part of MN to the Twin Cities. His favorite hobby is rock climbing, so I encouraged him to join a local rock climbing group. Now he only dates rock climbers, hangs out with fellow climbers, and leads rock climbing trips on the weekends. He found a local group interested in his passion and now has a support system for his climbing goals.

Start a blog, podcast, newsletter or publication - One of the easiest and best ways to build your inner circle is by sending an email that begins with the phrase "I WANT TO FEATURE YOU ... ". From there you interview the person and publicize their work (now that's 100% pure value). If there's a genuine connection you can begin working together.

 Attracting People To Your Inner Circle

Be Intentional - When you find someone outstanding, reach out.to them. This was how Robert James Collier and I connected last year. We hit it off and now chat every other week giving valuable feedback and advice. Not everyone you encounter is going to be a good fit, so when you find someone with shared values, take them out to coffee, use flattery and be genuinely interested in them.

Give Value To Everyone - Being an emotional toxic leech with a victim mindset is the best way to scare off everyone you encounter. I used to think the phrase "to get what you want you to have to first give it" was complete bullshit. And yet, each year that I'm alive I realize every win is directly correlated with me first giving value.

Be Congruent to Who You Are - Cat Neligan from the League of Creative Introverts is a perfect example of this. She owns her shy and introverted personality and doesn't apologize for it. That's what makes her interesting. Your inner circle deserves the real version of you. Not a fake paper thin veneer of someone you think you should be.

Play To Your Strengths - You are exceptional at a few things and average in many other areas. When giving advice, feedback or offering help stick to the areas where you are exceptional. For example, one of my mastermind partners Sunny from the Bushido Code is the best graphic designer I've ever met. His understanding of colors, placement, layout, text and size are second to none. When he gives me feedback on design, I listen. Seriously, check out the Bushido Code Instagram page. However, when I ask him a question that's out of his strengths zone he's honest. He doesn't say something just to say it.

 Thoughts To Action

Knowledge holds no value when it sits in your head and collects dust. Reading an article like this does absolutely nothing for you if you don’t take some sort of positive action towards creating an inner circle that supports your goals. It's time to put thought into action.

I challenge you to do one of the following:

Join an in-person or online community.

Go to a live event or seminar.

Start a blog and interview someone.

Reach out to someone with common goals. 

Do you think you can handle that?

 Finally

Who we surround ourselves with determines our level of success, happiness, fulfillment, joy, gratitude, and performance. An inner circle comprised of great friends, mentors, peers, co-workers, and partners can push you when you need a boost and provide a platform to generate breakthrough ideas.

There’s a genius inside each of us that’s just waiting to be unleashed. You’re doing a disservice to yourself and the world by holding back.

 You can't do it alone. 

  Resources

[1] Rizzolatti G, Fabbri-Destro M (2010). "Mirror neurons: from discovery to autism". Exp Brain Res. 200 (3–4): 223–37. doi:10.1007/s00221-009-2002-3. PMID 19760408.

[2] Keysers, Christian (2011-06-23). The Empathic Brain. 

[3] Greene, Robert (2012). Mastery

 Article Inspired By These Books:

[stopstartdo-blog]

All Leaders Have An Inner Circle - How To Build Your Team From The Ground Up

   You Can't Do It Alone.

   Every great leader has an inner circle of friends, mentors, peers, mastermind partners, teachers, pupils and family that are a source of their genius. If you are working toward becoming the best version of you, you'll need a team.

 The Story Is Wrong

Our culture loves the idea of the genius leader who accomplishes everything on their own. We want to believe that Steve Jobs created all of his Apple products by himself in his parents' garage. Or Mark Zuckerberg coded Facebook while drinking beer in his Harvard dorm room. Or Nelson Mandela single-handedly freed South Africa from Apartheid. 

But, You Can't Do It Alone. 

Every icon, leader and entrepreneur has had a team which supported their goals. 

In the next few sections, we'll break down the fundamentals of building an inner circle so that you can attract the right kind of people in your life and get the support you'll need. 

In this article you'll discover:

Why you become the average of the people in your inner circle.  

How the people you spend time with will determine your level of success.

Who to include in your inner circle.

Why you shouldn’t be the smartest person in every room or the most incompetent.

How to build it - the practical strategies

 Discovery - Who You Spend Time With Is Who You Become

In the 80s and 1990s, neurophysiologists Giacomo Rizzolatti and his colleagues at the University of Parma conducted a series of studies designed to monitor the neurons specialized in control of the hand and mouth actions of Macaque monkeys.

By placing electrodes on the ventral premotor cortex of the macaque monkey, they found that some of the neurons recorded would respond unexpectedly. When a monkey saw a person pick up a piece of food with their hand, the animal's neurons in the premotor cortex would also respond as if the monkey was picking up the food.  [1]

Recent research has revealed that humans also have neurons with "mirror" properties, but on a much higher level of sophistication. Humans mimic the actions, facial expressions, body language, the tone of voice and behavior of the people in their environment. This mirror system evolved for thousands of years by our ancient ancestors and was used to improve social talent, develop empathy, learn new skills, and forge stronger community bonds by mirroring the patterns and behaviors of the successful people in their environment. [2] [3]

Humans also have the ability place our awareness inside the minds of others and visualize what they are thinking and feeling. It's one of the reasons why we can predict the behavior of others and use this knowledge to inspire and lead.

In short, you mirror the people your environment both good and bad. 

 Who to Include – The Law of 1/3

The best way to grow as a leader is to have a mixture of people in your inner circle as follows:

1/3 Pupils. Mentoring teaches you to be a leader. It shows you how to manage, inspire, and deliver your ideas - all necessary skills for any phase of your life.

1/3 Peers. You want people who are at or near your current capabilities of to challenge and push your boundaries.

1/3 Mentors. You learn the most from mentors who have been there before you and can provide feedback specific to your needs. Mentors streamline your progress. 

If you’re the smartest person in every room, it’s time to get in a room with more intelligent individuals who challenge you. Conversely, if you are the lowest person on the totem pole in every situation, you won’t develop as a leader.

Growth happens at the edge of your comfort zone, and you’ll to surround yourself with a mix of people below your current level, at your level and above your level.  

 Practical Strategies For Building Your Inner Circle From The Ground Up

You won’t build it overnight. It takes time, shared experiences and common values to develop meaningful relationships - just like you and your best friend didn’t become besties overnight. Most people fail to make investments in meaningful relationships, and they pay the price in mediocrity. Your potential as a leader relies on the quality of people in your inner circle.

Below we'll go through several strategies to find, meet, attract people who will help you grow into the type of leader you wish to become. 

 Finding Your Inner Circle

Join Paid Communities – Paid masterminds, online groups, and networking events are a great way to weed out the people who have no interest in taking action. When you spend your hard earned dollars on something it usually means you're serious. Paying for something shows intention, focus, desire and that you’re willing to take right action towards your goal.

Join Free Communities – Yes, sometimes free isn’t so bad. In fact, all 4 of my mastermind partners I met as part of the Rich 20 Something community.

Join Local Meetup.com Groups - One of my buddies moved from the rural part of MN to the Twin Cities. His favorite hobby is rock climbing, so I encouraged him to join a local rock climbing group. Now he only dates rock climbers, hangs out with fellow climbers, and leads rock climbing trips on the weekends. He found a local group interested in his passion and now has a support system for his climbing goals.

Start a blog, podcast, newsletter or publication - One of the easiest and best ways to build your inner circle is by sending an email that begins with the phrase "I WANT TO FEATURE YOU ... ". From there you interview the person and publicize their work (now that's 100% pure value). If there's a genuine connection you can begin working together.

 Attracting People To Your Inner Circle

Be Intentional - When you find someone outstanding, reach out.to them. This was how Robert James Collier and I connected last year. We hit it off and now chat every other week giving valuable feedback and advice. Not everyone you encounter is going to be a good fit, so when you find someone with shared values, take them out to coffee, use flattery and be genuinely interested in them.

Give Value To Everyone - Being an emotional toxic leech with a victim mindset is the best way to scare off everyone you encounter. I used to think the phrase "to get what you want you to have to first give it" was complete bullshit. And yet, each year that I'm alive I realize every win is directly correlated with me first giving value.

Be Congruent to Who You Are - Cat Neligan from the League of Creative Introverts is a perfect example of this. She owns her shy and introverted personality and doesn't apologize for it. That's what makes her interesting. Your inner circle deserves the real version of you. Not a fake paper thin veneer of someone you think you should be.

Play To Your Strengths - You are exceptional at a few things and average in many other areas. When giving advice, feedback or offering help stick to the areas where you are exceptional. For example, one of my mastermind partners Sunny from the Bushido Code is the best graphic designer I've ever met. His understanding of colors, placement, layout, text and size are second to none. When he gives me feedback on design, I listen. Seriously, check out the Bushido Code Instagram page. However, when I ask him a question that's out of his strengths zone he's honest. He doesn't say something just to say it.

 Thoughts To Action

Knowledge holds no value when it sits in your head and collects dust. Reading an article like this does absolutely nothing for you if you don’t take some sort of positive action towards creating an inner circle that supports your goals. It's time to put thought into action.

I challenge you to do one of the following:

Join an in-person or online community.

Go to a live event or seminar.

Start a blog and interview someone.

Reach out to someone with common goals. 

Do you think you can handle that?

 Finally

Who we surround ourselves with determines our level of success, happiness, fulfillment, joy, gratitude, and performance. An inner circle comprised of great friends, mentors, peers, co-workers, and partners can push you when you need a boost and provide a platform to generate breakthrough ideas.

There’s a genius inside each of us that’s just waiting to be unleashed. You’re doing a disservice to yourself and the world by holding back.

 You can't do it alone. 

  Resources

[1] Rizzolatti G, Fabbri-Destro M (2010). "Mirror neurons: from discovery to autism". Exp Brain Res. 200 (3–4): 223–37. doi:10.1007/s00221-009-2002-3. PMID 19760408.

[2] Keysers, Christian (2011-06-23). The Empathic Brain. 

[3] Greene, Robert (2012). Mastery

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