brightliliesāĀ Ā Ā ā¦Ā Ā Ā dearest brother.
Ā Ā his back hits the pillow and heās suddenly fourteen summers old again, confined to the makeshift bed with the charred mattress in an abandoned mun tuy cellar. his eyes stare up at the dark wood of the ceiling, thoughts echoing the words of the healers that attended to his affliction, of loved ones that refuse to see him leave. the words lucas screams never reach him, much like his motherās worried sobs wouldnāt. stay in bed. we canāt fix whatās wrong with you, but if you leave, you could collapse and who knows what might feed on you while youāre out.
Ā Ā aether sickness; too much light in his body. blue and orange blink as the keeper exhales, because he doesnāt see much difference between the two. he collapsed, he feels fine. he wakes to people telling him no, telling him to stay, telling him heās sick and ill and all he can think of is that he feels fine. but this is different. this time heās filled with dull aches, his skin feels like its being pricked with pins, all because itās too much for a mortal vessel to hold the weight of all norvrandtās lightwardens.Ā
Ā Ā āi canāt, anā ye know that,ā stubbornly, he pushes himself to rise again, swings his legs so his feet catch the floorāāso lucas canāt push him down again. itās obvious how much the boy across from him hurts ( however long heād been crying, it wasnāt the first time, and it wouldnāt be the last. ), but albi has to be impartial.
Ā Ā theyāve come too far to stop, after all. his own death is a guarantee, not a possibility. but the exarch can yet be saved, and through him perhaps hope returned. that gambleĀ he has to see through, for the first wonāt survive with both of them gone. that gamble is all he needs to take another step, even if it means his end. so he smiles, clapping the hyurās shoulder with his palm.Ā āsomebody has ta save raha.ā
ā i donāt give a shit about him. āĀ Ā it comes out rather rude but he couldnāt hide the truth any longer. the man once called gāraha tia was dead, and the person who wears his face is nothing but a stranger. should any of them survive amidst this chaos, he would make sure to give him a scolding he would never forget. it was meant to be done a while ago, whilst they were studying the inner workings of the tower and how to access the other chambers.
his tears canāt stop falling and suddenly he feels like heās a child again. watching as the other two run towards places he canāt reach. but as long as they returned from time to time, he was fine with staying behind for a while. but now, when someone he deeply cared about was so close from leaving permanently made his heart tighten with the kind of sorrow he never felt before.
but heās trying to leave again and his hand grabs his wrist before he can leave, holding him back in place for a moment. he remembers how he used to tease him when strolling through the forest, trying to keep up with the other two whilst carrying his books only to have him either trip or get lost. but there they were, always finding him so they could just go home.
home. a place to return to. a family to return to.
nothing would be the same without him there.
ā ... youāre goinā to die, albiāto. āĀ Ā he nearly chokes on that word, in the same way he nearly chokes on saying his name. dying. to leave and to never return, leaving all of them behind. he hoped this could be enough to persuade him but it was never enough. it could never be enough when he had his mind set on it, for he was meant to be the saviour of them all. and yet, the same thought remains.Ā Ā (Ā Ā he doesnāt deserve this.Ā he never did.Ā whyĀ /Ā whyĀ /Ā why him, of all people.Ā he shouldnāt suffer like this.Ā it should have been meĀ /Ā so that he would always, always smile brightly.Ā ) Ā but his brother was a stubborn one, much like himself.Ā āĀ youāre... never goinā to see your mom again. your sister, your friends on the source... āĀ he muses aloud, thinking of everything they went through these past years and comes to the conclusion that there was no one else heād rather have as a travelling companion.
ā youāre never goinā to see the shroud again. you'll die like a true hero but what about the ones left behind? what about the people that were travellinā with us this whole time? āĀ he doesnāt mention them fully for even he canāt be that cruel. he thinks about that seeker girl and how badly this might affect her. thinks of the others who were dragged into this mess merely because fate allowed it and suddenly, his sadness slowly fades away, shifting into anger. none of this was fair. none of this was meant to happen.Ā ā you... you canāt tell me youāre okay with this. ā
but ah, he would never admit it. maybe not to him. those were secrets not worth ever bringing it up and he understood it much. but to think that the amount of work people gave him almost brought him to his end was infuriating. save us, warrior of light, they said. but no one ever asked if he wanted to.
the scions should know better than just force people on doing it.
they should have known better than to just ruin someoneās life.
ā i... hate them, albi. āĀ Ā he suddenly speaks, though lucas believe that no context is needed for this particular statement, for it has been said for a couple of times already, when the first symptoms started manifesting themselves. the scions. the ones who made such a bright, kind-hearted boy into a primal killing weapon, feared by most, if not all of the ones who inhabited their world. ā i hate everything they made you go through. āĀ something deep within him reverberates and suddenly, he stops. he thinks of fray and sighs, for who could have guessed that he was, once again, right?Ā ā but this wonāt... stop you, right? ā
perhaps there was nothing he could have done, in the first place.
ā i donāt care what it takes. āĀ he reaches for his hand, gently holding it like it was made of glass. for someone who was so keen on keeping him stranded in bed, he sure was having a rough time trying to control his emotions.Ā ā i donāt care what i have to do but weāll go home. together. āĀ Ā he pauses once more, eyes filled with tears, despite his valiant attempt on sounding serious and optimistic, for a change.Ā ā so please... donāt you dare die on me like this. ā
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