Love Begins
Andulka
Three Goblin Art
we're not kids anymore.
shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
ellievsbear
d e v o n
PR's Tumblrdome
@theartofmadeline
noise dept.
Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Product Placement
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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seen from Vietnam
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@stormvvvater
sometimes a woman's just gotta take the left hand path and and leave a bouquet of ten red roses (one for each year gone) and drink a (zero) beer and have a cigarette while meditating at the infinite jest of life and death at her lover's graveside
and to remedy all that bad music, here's some tasteful, brooding swedish altpop in the form of iamamiwhoami's t from their debut experimental 2010 album bounty. its accompanying music video album is just as important for the album as a whole as the audio experience to have a taste what it's exactly about: while the lyrics tell of heartbreak and toxic love - to a lover, to the humanity, to family, to the child self and the shadow, the visuals tie the story into the myth of the mandrake from its perspective, placing singer-songwriter jonna lee in the role of the plant - a mediterranean nightshade that allegedly has magical properties, and has historically been found growing under gallows.
i find the album's themes be so universal i hear a new story each time i go inside the unsettling microcosm of bounty, as is the case with any early iam's album. this band has burned a fan alive on a livestream! fact-check me lol
... and of course, when talking about iam i cannot not mention their unanimously best track, a beautifully shimmering female erotic ballad play, that's to me more about self-love (in its physical form) than anything else. a standout song from their second album kin, a project much more sonically stripped down than any of their other work, closer in spirit to '10s ionna lee's solo albums, and also much more straightforward - though still with a high level of their telltale vagueness - in the storyline found in the accompanying visuals. the song is that bitch and yet remains fundamentally beautiful; charming and dark like an unoccupied club stage; electrifying, provocative and frisson inducing. if you need to click on any of these videos, please allow yourself this gemstone - 5 minutes of sonic bath gifted to us by a woman who knows how to love herself first.
and to remedy all that bad music, here's some tasteful, brooding swedish altpop in the form of iamamiwhoami's t from their debut experimental 2010 album bounty. its accompanying music video album is just as important for the album as a whole as the audio experience to have a taste what it's exactly about: while the lyrics tell of heartbreak and toxic love - to a lover, to the humanity, to family, to the child self and the shadow, the visuals tie the story into the myth of the mandrake from its perspective, placing singer-songwriter jonna lee in the role of the plant - a mediterranean nightshade that allegedly has magical properties, and has historically been found growing under gallows.
i find the album's themes be so universal i hear a new story each time i go inside the unsettling microcosm of bounty, as is the case with any early iam's album. this band has burned a fan alive on a livestream! fact-check me lol
hopeless fountain kingdom, queer altpop icon halsey's sophomore 2017 album's concept is inspired around william shakespeare's romeo and juliet. years later the album still feels emotionally immature (h is my age but it was 2017 i was a fresh widow cmon...), but i'm still into the basic, radio-friendly songwriting. still remember some lyrics, i used to know it all
noctilucent clouds over warsaw's skyline from my window, 16/06/2026, aka visible RIGHT NOW go and see for yourself
lotr extended edition marathon just me and my blankey and blahaj (she/her) and the good perfume and snacks
handmade rosemary soy candle & lipgloss on my tea & psylocybin in my system bye
today's mantra: my love is not a burden
lotr extended edition marathon just me and my blankey and blahaj (she/her) and the good perfume and snacks
this song has done numbers here in 2015, queen
sit down
she kali on my yuga until the last leg of my dharma bull fails
whispering secrets of the universe to the blind translucent fish in the aquarium. i can see their blood
as i had meditated on my goat-view bench hiding from a rainstorm beneath my linden tree for a while, i had entered a dimension that's quite unreachable in any other way. maybe there's a portal in that spacetime. the weather made the zoo exceptionally empty from other humans, even emptier than two years ago when i died and promptly revived, making it even cozier and - somehow sticky to my skin. i didn't mind the cold, i didn't mind the wet. the rain was a part of nature, as was i. and the sound. oh, the sound of rain, pattering onto leaves, grass, concrete. my own breath. my heartbeat. i don't hear it often, even when i'm laying down in the quiet of my bedroom. i did hear it then.
the jasmine tea i bought at the entrance got too cold to warm up my hands and i had to tangle them underneath my clothes. usually, in those circumstances i'd be shivering in minutes. now? no. with steady breath came steady energy distribution. not the first time it happened. this phenomenon may or may not have a dedicated wikipedia article on tibetan monks having the same ability, who cares, do your own research. i did enough in my amphetamine binge days. the wet jackdaws and magpies come and go by, shaking the water off their feathers in the shelter of the shade. the trees are unmoved; how could they be. this is their nourishment. their bark and core is made from the same living, breathing cells as my skin. i am 70% water. the rain won't dissolve anything but my ego. i have nothing to fear. i can only be washed clean.
after a while of my inner tightrope walking between the mundane and grasping at whatever the holy heavens veil lifting happened to me exactly two passages of the earth around the sun at this exact spot, the cosmic watering can had moved away, but now the water had to come down the wet, young, lushiest green leaves and it started to rain underneath the tree. i watched in slight disbelief the same three donkey sisters as the last time in september walk over to the hay manger, but not before pissing in the same spot, all three. had some funny thoughts there about mammal instincts to live in herds and mirroring behaviors, but i got interrupted by thunder. taking it as a sign to move, i skedaddled to the aquarium.
it was blissfully empty. it is so freeing to drop the mask in a public place. no one to act normal for. whew. there were tiny starfish glued to the glass - smaller than my fingertips. the very first time i had observed starfish and weren't grossed out, but actually found it cute. there were brittle stars, no cuteness there, but i observed them without fear or ick - progress.
the tigerfish's retinas were as calm and deep as retinas get. i don't know how to explain, but sometimes you look an animal in the eyes and you just know there's nothing behind them, pure braincell, but some get curious about you approaching and observe you back. i get that quite a lot - i guess because i'm colorful: my hair, makeup, clothes. once, way back, i had blue hair and a peacock approached me with apparent excitement in a zoo with his tail spread. love those mofos.
the fish were curious. they followed me as i gazed into their eyes. i had wondered: what do they see? what do they perceive? is the world behind the glass an incomprehensible tv screen to them? do they know they're in an aquarium? have they ever known freedom? would they ever know the difference from captivity? as they stare back in my eyes, am i a predator to them? or another living thing connecting with my natural instinct to gaze into another's eyes in hopes of, well, connection? do i trigger their mirror neurons? do they even have mirror neurons? (note to self: google that.) why is it that i can only look unwaveringly into another set of eyes when it is behind the safety of glass, of a cage? why can't i look my fellow humans in the eyes? we are one and the same. i am the water, i am the air. the black holes of the fish' retinas. i am, not. there is no me. i remember non-duality. i look the fish in the eyes and i briefly remember the story of siddhartha gautama beneath his bodhi tree. there is no ox, there is no spoon.
one of the rays seems bored and splashes the water out the largest tank. i move on and find the blind cave fish and somehow my mind is blown. they can't perceive me in any way other than hearing. they are a highly specialized species evolved over the course of uncountable (i am right-brained for the moment) number of earth's spins around the sun. i cannot touch them, nor can they me. no smell. they lost the ability to perceive electrons hitting their neural pathway when there was none for so many generations. i can see their blood and organs beneath their translucent skin and sparse, iridescent scales. if i caught one, i could easily crush it between my top of the foodchain fingers. i remember the time i bought catfish heads for my grandma's special christmas soup and had to gut the brains. i did most of the work with a knife, but there was no way around it: i had to pull out the eyes with my fingers. now i'm staring at eyeless fish with brains ten times smaller than any of my teeth. i don't see them as food: they look like living gems. for the smallest moment i want to drop everything and go be an ecologist warrior saving their environment from inevitable anthropological destruction. then i remember my own delicate entangled environment of a psyche and earthly attachment to the one thing tying me down to this city i just cannot drop.
i'm at the age when it's really getting stale that i still keep being stereotyped as a loose girl or whore or whatever, when in reality i'm an autistic traumatized shut-in with the bodycount of 3 mediocre dicks and one kiss from a drunk girl
womanhood is blasting metallica for the neighbors on a stormy day
kielbasa flavored lays' chips at 9.99pln in the one and only grocery store (buy 3 get 1 free)
god i fucking hate this job though i want my barista career back ngl
soy sauce on my skirt
so what exactly did yall think ya'd find here?