Josie Storm

I'm an anxiety filled 24 yr old and first time momma, my little girl was born 9/11/16 being 10 days overdue.

[stormyjo-blog1]

11/2/17

Hello. 👋🏻

Its been a long time.

Um, things have change a little since the last time i was here. Life is a little better, Emmie is SUPER clingy and i have no way to help her. I’d socialize her better if i had at least one friend with kids but I dont and i dont have facebook (for personal reasons and i dont really want another) so i cant like connect with people that way. The only social media’s i have are this and instagram so idk how to connect with people through there or here. Ugh, being an adult sucks.

Anyways,

Emmie is almost 14 months now, i know its been a really long time since i wrote lol. I got my birth control out and i feel 100x better. I cant believe i didnt take anyone’s advice before and get it removed sooner. Im greatly suffering for it right now as i am trying to repair relationships but i feel better and thats what counts. If you got questions about me or wanna get to know me feel free to ask! Im open to talking to anyone about anything!

[stormyjo-blog1]

8/14/17

I'm mad at myself for not putting the date on my last post lol. Emmie is now 11 months old... WHERE DID MY LITTLE BABY GO?!?! 😩 ugh its crazy she'll already be 1 in a month. Seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home. Time is going WAYYY to fast. I've realized after alot of venting and emotional fits for the last week, something is wrong. I'm not myself at all. My boyfriend told me i havent been myself for a long time and I know hes right, im just finally starting to see it. I tried my hardest to convince myself nothing was wrong and i was just getting use to birth control and mom life. Well I'm now convinced that something is super wrong and i need to get this nexplanon thing taken out. I had an implant put in my arm for my birth control, and the reason i got this particular one was cause apparently it has a low hormone doseage.. if this is the low dosage i cant imagine what the other ones would be like. I know it seems odd that birth control would make someone a completely different person. Wanna know the weird thing? My mom went through this exact same thing around the same age. I vented to her about what was going on and she started describing my exact situation but she was talking about what she had went through and what it eventually turned into. What it amounts to is, theres some kind of imbalance going on in my body and because of that it makes it really really hard to control my feelings and emotions and how i react to situations. When im upset i feel like im having an out of body experience and im watching someone else control me. I go off the deep end about the littlest stuff and thats not normal. Anyways, im slowly unraveling whats going on and how to go about trying to fix it. Im just praying something works.

[stormyjo-blog1]

By the way..

This app for iPhone sucks.. Oh yeah i got an iPhone.

[stormyjo-blog1]

Hmm..

Its been a month since i last wrote. Emmie is now 10 months old and walking. She says hi, mama, dada and tries to say have. Shes a lot happier now thats shes walking and can move around the way she wants. My boyfriend has gotten another job part time so he can be home more. He didnt like working 12 hr shifts and missing all of emmies milestones. So we decided he would go part time somewhere and we would try to venture starting our own business. So ive been busy researching my butt off to figure out how to achieve this. We're starting small and hopefully we'll have something we can strive off of and raise our family and maybe one day pass the business on to Emmie. Life is just flying by, its crazy that Emmie will be a year in just 2 months. Well thats the sweet and to the point update. On to learning, growing and achieving. 👌🏻

[stormyjo-blog1]

06/06/17 I dont really have much to say. I think i may have figured out a main reason as to why my attitude and the way i handle things are pretty harsh. I dont want to full on blame my mother but she has a lot of influence to it. I moved out of my moms house at 16 because i was staying with my dad for awhile and she decided to call me and tell me my older brother and his girlfriend (who i didnt like) were moving in and staying in MY bedroom the DAY BEFORE they moved in. So i felt as if i was being kicked out and i decided to move in with my dad just after my 16th birthday. It was one of the best decisions i made at that time. Fast forward to me getting pregnant and well we all know how that went. She cared more about my baby shower and how the baby was doing but never asked me how i was. Well since Emmie was born and we brought her home my relationship with my mom has been just getting worse all because i dont go over 4 times a week so she can see Emmie. We had been trying to move for a year so its not like i could just drop my life for her. The most recent incident now has been mothers day just a coupld weeks ago. I know its not the best way to say happy mothers day, but i texted my mom on mothers day and said happy mothers day and explained to her why i didnt call and why i couldnt come over (we moved into our new house about 5 days prior so we were still getting settled and i dont even have a vehicle to go see her.) And she completely ignored me, my 1st mothers day and my mom didnt even acknowledge me, that hurt me pretty good. Well she is now apparently mad at me for a whole bunch of stuff and i dont even live with her!! I dont do anything for her to really be mad at me and shes pissed at me! She made my life a living hell in the last 2 years almost now and shes still expects me to suck it up and apologize to her. I'm at my breaking point with her and im just wondering how ALL of this is gonna pan out. I know the next time i see her or talk to her it isnt gonna be good. I guess my point was, my mother is fucking crazy and because of growing up around yelling and screaming and stress all the time its the only way ive known how to handle things cause my mother was my role model growing up. She still hasnt figured out i moved out at 16 cause i couldnt stand being constantly yelled and screamed at all the time anymore. Oh well, its a little late now.

[stormyjo-blog1]

06/01/17 Ive been absent off of here do to not having internet, and its given me time to realize just how annoying I have become since having a baby. Its not our daughter's fault.. its my own but im not really sure what caused this bad change. So reality set in and im ready to make a change to be happy again. Im ready to stop stressing everything and im ready to be happy with what i have and where i am. We live on 37 acres of property i mean i dont really have much to complain about. Ive realized that im not good with change and once i get use to something i dont want it to change cause i hate starting over and getting use to things all over again, and well that needs to change. I need to just accept that change happens and its always going to happen and i can not control that. I need to roll with the punches and solve problems as they come instead of being afraid of the future all the time. My life has just been a roller coaster and im finally ready to just figure it out and ride the hills of my crazy chaotic life.

[baby-t-makes-three-blog]

T has a lot of gender neutral clothes, she even has a couple “boy” outfits. We didn’t want a million frilly pink outfits, which is why we didn’t announce her sex until the baby shower. Her room is neutral too, it’s blue, white, & gray. But she does have “girly” outfits too, it’s not all neutral. Truthfully I just put her in what’s cute and I don’t really care. I’ve heard lots of annoying comments about her wearing “boy colors” or once even about her using a blue binki. But today she was dressed in pink. A long sleeved pink onesie that said “Daddy’s Girl” in gray. And today at Walmart, some young hipster looking girl peaked into her car seat, saw her outfit, and then proceeded to tell me I was “disgusting and close minded” for pushing gender roles on my child. You can’t fucking win as a mom.

[stormyjo-blog1]

5/1/17 Well it started as an alright day, and then of course i get told to make a decision and i make one and then its "oh no never mind we arent doing that cause your mad." Well fuck yeah im mad, i told you i had a headache and that i wanted to get shit done today. We are moving in 3 days, 3 FUCKING DAYS and there is so much shit left that we have to do and you would rather drag me and the baby every where with you instead of just going and letting me getting things done. Idk why you need me to go with you to damn near everything.. i cant ever just be left alone to do my job and be a mother. I could put the baby to sleep and have a way easier fucking day if you didnt decide you had to drag me all over. Oh and lets not forgot tell me to make a decision and then 2 min later saying no mevermind, im SOOOOOOO fucking sick of that, Its been going on for a month now and im fucking over it. Dont ask for my opinion if you dont actually want it.

[stormyjo-blog1]

4/29/17 I wanna go out to breakfast with my boyfriend but he doesn't seem to want to be around me or do anything with me. He's on this "we only eat at home now" kick and wont even go to a sit down restaurant. I suggest going to one and he says "we can go to the store and get you that to make" so i guess now i dont get to spend time one on one with him.. i wish i could ask things easier. Every time i try to it seems like i ruin whoevers it is day and it makes me not want to ask to do anything or for help. Sometimes i just want to feel genuinely happy again... thats all i really want to ask for.

[overthebabybump]

[stormyjo-blog1]

4/24/17 I finally got the well deserved break i needed this past weekend but it was only for 4 hours. Now i know alot of people are probably thinking "4 hours you should be happy some people dont even get that in a whole week." Well, no i agree but i bet you that those single moms or dads or even the parents that are still together can at least get one break a month for a whole day cause they have somewhere they can take their little one over night, i dont. I live with my dad and hes right upstairs and i dont trust leaving her with my mom over night. I know you're probably thinking "not trusting your own mom with your kid is your own problem if you just stopped being worried you could leave her with your mom." Well i did stop worrying and i did leave her with my mom hence my 4 hour break, my mom called me about 3 1/2 hours after she took her and asked me to come pick her up cause she was getting to be to much for her, so really i had a 3 and 1/2 hour break cause i took my time getting around and going to pick her up. So in the 7 and half months since bringing emmie home thats been my only real break where i had some me time and got to do what i wanted for once. Anytime ive got a "break", it was never really a break cause i really had something to go do and it was easier to leave the baby with her grandpa or to have grandpa watch her while i could get what i needed to done. I guess the point to all this is I'm tired, and I'm sorry to the parents that never ever get breaks. I'm also sorry I'm out here on the internet complaining about my life cause im sure mine really isnt that bad compared to others, but im not sorry for venting and releasing some negative energy. Everyone has coping methods to deal with things and this just happens to be the way i do it now. I use to have that shoulder to lean on but since having a baby with him I'm now the least of his concerns. And I dont blame my baby for the way my relationship is now, i just find it funny how babies really change everything, you dont expect your relationship to change other then maybe you'll be closer but its the complete opposite of what you think. Ive had hoping thinking things might change and get better but so far it just gotten worse. And im sure it will continue to get wrose even after we move. Ugh, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I just want to be treated like a human being not an inanimate object, i wanna be taken seriously when i say something im trying to be serious about, i dont wanna be laugh at every time im trying to talk, i dont wanna be looked right through just cause im the woman in the house and apparently my feelings or what i say doesn't matter. Im going to bed, i cant take anymore tonight.

[stormyjo-blog1]

4/14/17 We drove 6 hours up state (i live in Michigan) so emmie could meet her great grandma. Today was alright until we had to try and put emmie to sleep and i immediately regret coming up here. She only wants to sleep for her grandpa and in a result of her not having grandpa she screamed for 45 min before we could get her to calm down and go to sleep. Now, i only had maybe 3 hours of sleep last night so of course i was ready to go to sleep as soon as the baby did.... well i now cant sleep cause my boyfriend is snoring so unbelievably loud and theres no other room in his grandmas to go sleep in. Ugh this was just a huge mistake. Im so tired and every time i start drifting my boyfriends snoring juat wakes me right back up.. Im gonna be a cranky bitch tomorrow, i hope my boyfriend didnt make any plans for me to meet anymore of his friends from here cause they arent gonna like me when ive had no sleep..

[stormyjo-blog1]

3/30/17 Nothing has gotten any easier. All emmie ever wants to do is scream and yell and whine all the time and for absolutely no reason. She can be fed, have a clean diaper, and just be sitting on the floor and throw a giant tantrum about nothing.. I cant take it anymore. I try to do everything i can fo teething and nothing works, if it does it might work for 30 seconds and then shes back to yelling and screaming. I can NEVER get her to sleep ANY time of the day. It can be a nap or bedtime and she just wont go to sleep. I NEVER get an actual break from listening to her scream 24/7 so im ready to just explode. Shes literally driving me insane. I wish she would just quit whatever this stupid crap is and be happy.. idk what happen to the happy little baby i use to have but shes 100% not happy anymore. Its not like we changed anything on her or were doing anything different then how we were.. she just idk hates life now or something. Ugh... i cant stand hearing her scream anymore so i guess im gonna go try again with no success cause ive been doing this for 2 months now... Sometimes i wont lie, i hate being a mom.

[duplexity-blog]

It kind of really confuses me when Barbie commercials have little girls dressing them up and brushing their hair Like no Barbie is not about fashion. Barbie is about collecting as many dolls as you can get your grubby 7 year old hands on and dominating the living room with your expansive empire of plastic women. Barbie is about creating intricate social structures and spicy inter-family conflicts between town house residents. Barbie is about formulating complex back stories for tortured Ken dolls with emotional scars. It’s about creating near-sadistic dramatic plot twists that split up marriages and cause that one Barbie you really dislike to be ceremoniously tossed down the stairs in order to be offed by the jealous ex-wife of Ken #4.

[kerryrenaissance]

Yes, but how do you make it into a marketable commercial that won’t freak parents and caregivers out?

[quasi-normalcy]

I’ve always had the impression that advertisers don’t really understand how girls play with their toys.

[everdeen420]

When I played with Barbies I had this thing called “The Dead Pit” which was a purple bratz laundry hamper. So whenever a Barbie got killed off she would go in there. And what I would do was I would carry her to the dead pit while singing the dead pit song. The dead pit song was just saying “The dead pit” over and over again in different tones. Anyway, once I finally reached the pit I would announce “(name) has died.” And drop her in. I would wait a few moments. Then, I would violently shake the hamper while shrieking, pretending to be the tortured souls of dead barbies from the underworld. I thought it was hilarious.

[trinandtonic-deactivated2022102]

this shit is honestly so fucking real

[ellieptical]

I had a Cindy and a Ken and one day Cindy was so angry at Ken she ripped off her own leg and beat him to death with it. Then I moved onto the lego. 

[peppermintgrim]

If your Barbies’ lives aren’t like Game of Thrones, you’re not doing it right.

[stormyjo-blog1]

This is a big cry for help PLEASE!!! Someone please answer..

I know there are moms who follow me.. I REALLY NEED HELP! Can anyone give me ANY advice on how to get a baby to nap? Emmie will not take a nap and its to the point where i cant handle her being cranky anymore just because she refuses to take naps. Id rather not have to drive her around or anything like that. So please ANYONE who has ANY advice on this i would really appreciate it.

[stormyjo-blog1]

3/7/17 Figured I'd do an update. We got new vehicles obviously lol. The jeep is mine the truck is my boyfriends, hopefully they last us a long time. Im so happy to not only have my own 4 door again but its soooo much easier with the baby now. 2 doors are not made to haul babies around. Im also super happy to have a jeep again, i missed my jeep so much but this one is definitely alot nicer then mine was. (After almost 300,000 miles its was pretty beat lol) This jeep is the same year as the last so its a little different but not much and it has 101,000 miles on it so i get to actually put over 200,000 on it (hopefully)😊 Little miss Emmie decided she was done rolling around and started crawling!! Shes EVERYWHERE and into EVERYTHING. Shes so fast too. She puts anything she can get her hands on into her mouth so yeah, her figuring out crawling has been a riot. She'll be 6 months on saturday and shes growing up way too fast. My baby is freakin crawling, thats just nuts. She says "mama" all the time and is always trying to make sure im in sight or shes not happy, shes a mommas girl. Shes also getting pretty good at holdinga bottle as long as it isnt full (her little wrist cant handle the weight yet) but shes pretty close to being able to just feed herself her bottles. Shes also pretty close to sitting without any support, she sits up on her own but she supports herself with her arm. She loves music shes starting to get this cute little dance going on, its just too adorable. Oh man, life is happening. Idk what else there is to say. Im doing alright, im restarting a workout this week. I stay up way too late anymore, cause the only time i can actually do/get anything done is when Emmie sleeps. Ahhh mom life, i wouldn't trade it for the world. 😊

[stormyjo-blog1]

2/27/17 Im painting my solar system i created, I plan to make another one. My dad told me I needed a hobby so i picked back up on wood burning and painting. It sorta sucks that i can only really get into it after the baby goes to bed but its ok cause my dad takes her early in the morning so i can get some sleep. Emmie will be 6 months in a couple weeks. Its crazy how time files but im so excited to watch her grow. Theres not much to say, its still pretty chaotic and some days are more stressful then others with all the showings, but we gotta get the house sold to move. Im gonna get back to painting, its just fun to create things. 😊