@stradacorsa - Tumblr Blog

i should’ve scroll through your phone. i hate it some much. why would you have to act all saint but youre just a man. you will always be a man. i should have known. sometimes im afraid that ill choose the wrong man in my life. i hate itt i shouldn’t have been through your phoneeeeee

taqwatawheedtales

If someone’s meant to be in your life, if you’re meant to find your way to each other, it will happen regardless. It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through together. It could have been the stupidest things, it could be pain related, it could be the most complicated and most difficult things. But, if you’re meant to work things out, then you will. If you’re meant to reunite and reconnect then you will. Allah swt has a plan for each and every one of us. He doesn’t make mistakes. It all comes down to your faith and your trust in him. Do you believe he can suffice you? Do you trust he’s the only one who can truly help you? Because he is. God is the only one that can heal your heart and make things better. He’s the only one who has the power to make all these impossibilities, possible. Remember, it’s never hard for him to make your dreams & dua’s come true. 🕊️

~ credited to the original author.

julaibib

1st June (rant edition)

both of my sisters were taken just a day apart. depressing? yea since ive been living with them all of my life. somewhere people will be calling them "mrs" and not "ms" still dont rhyme in my head. it feels abit awkward that they have this one shadow in a form of a guy. like what the shadows does, they follow them everywhere. abit annoyed because i hate changes in my routine but i need to know how to adapt to it.. seems like. after the ceremony, mostly like big events like this all of us will sleep in one bedroom. but now its like they need their own bedroom to have their own privacy. yea thats legitly whats being married is all about but idk. i just sat there, they were doing their stuff, being occupied with other people while at home tends to be, i mean it felt like im an outsider. i dont feel at home. i dont feel excited going home. idk. maybe i just know that all of my mother and father's burden will be on me. its tiring to think about it already. sometimes i just feel like im living, but i never felt whole. i solely feel happy? i dont look forward in life anymore because i feel like my whole life will be stuck, taking care of my parents and thats it. im not sure what makes me happy now but idk

Naps.

for these past few months, i hate taking naps. i swear to god. i hated it so so much. why you ask? because during aiman, after i took a long nap, his text will be there on my phone. i will facetime him and it has become a habit for 5 years of mine. i thought i was over and the feelings will fade but why do i still feel shitty after i woke up from napssss? i hate it smmm. i will always feel restless because i need a private space for me to hibernate so long without no pressure on my mind. i need to rest. theres alot on my mind and i cant seem to figure it out.

if you decided to come back:

i just realised that, all this time i miss the memories of you and not you. i made you special in my head till the point i cant even see your flaws and shit things you had done to me. looking back, i never properly heal from things you had done to me. the first attempt was i saw your snap with nani, you said “you look good b” and she had been sending you thirst trap. second was the johor girl, we were there together yet you made the choice to sleep with the girl. third was hannan. hannan was my biggest ptsd that i recovered it by myself. i remember how hard and how i will feel suffocated around places that you went with her, things that you gave her, the pictures,, it was very devastated and i overcome it myself. then, all the lies you told me, and how you left me hanging and leave me for embun. so, yes, i never healed from things that youve done to me. so i dont think going to have a future with you should be a goood idea. i sacrifice alot of things for you, but i never get nice things from you instead. i put my effort, my money, my energy and i never get the same thing in return. you are selfish and i really think youre kinda fucked in the head. so if you decided to come back, just so you know i never and will never healed from things that you did to me. you gave the world to them, while i had to beg on my knees and hands for it. took me months to realised that you are a good person, but not a good lover. if you ever want to come back into my life, just know that im not letting you. the damage you had done to me was so damaging that i dont ever want to feel that way ever again.

kinda fucked up bcs in trying my best to be there for all of my friends but im hurting the one i valued the most.

i told u im the fucking problem sial… i let myself being the second option and then proceed to be sad plus mad about being the second option. have some self respect amirah faqihah. you should know better by now?? what do you expect from him? he broken up with his gf by now?? tf bitch. no, he will always choose her cant u see that?? he is act all nice and lovey bcs you were in the moment. you were there. thats why he acted like that. you cannot blame anyone, all 3 fingers are pointing at you miss. wtf he didnt even text you back after that night and you expect him what? to what?? you are the fucking problem here.

this year, i mean, this past few weeks ive been hearing people said that im kind hearted, im very genuine and i feel very loved by people around me now. for these past few years, i never heard of that and ive been craving for people around me to tell me that. because i felt like, i always gave them so much love but they never return it. but im blessed that i gave and get something back in return. all these girls thought me that im so loveable, and im thankful for that. im so happy with my current circle, and im happy with my life. im thankful for all the love that i get, it tends to get lonely sometimes, but i feel the love from variety of form. and i love that for myself also. i hope, 2024 will never disappoints me like 2023. i hope this is my breakpoint to be a better version of myself. i dont need a guy to make me feel special because i have all the love from my friends.

such a hectic week hope this ends

orkazh-arts

"Every time someone steps up and says who they are the world becomes a better, more interesting place." 🫶🏳️‍🌈

My tribute to Andre Braugher, thank you for Captain Raymond Holt ❤️✨

unsure.

hm im not sure why im feeling this way, maybe im just having my period that is why im feeling this way. i feel very very happy when i get to spend sometimes with them, but after that, im so alone. i still feel alone. i miss the feeling of someone holding me, holding my hand, just, hold me. for who i am. im sad actually, and i hated that. when will i be okay? will i be okay? or will i not? idk why but when reading the book, i tend to remember your smile, when someone is holding their hands, i wished i was holding yours. when, someone show us their picture tgt, i wished we had a picture tgt to cherished. idk why do i still feel this way when i know this is a not a good sign. and u were not even good for my mental health. damn, and i gained so many weight im disgusted with my self. im so fucking sad i wished that everything was back to the way it was.

fuck u did me so bad but why do i still miss u

i just want to be wrapped in your arms and masuk dalam kulit haha

its 3:14am and i miss you, but youre not even mine.

Am i the problem?

kenapa all the guys that did me wrong get the love they deserves? kenapa diaorang dapat the attention, the love while im the one who is hurting? life is unfair. they hurt me, shouldn’t they were the one who needs to suffer? im not the one who cheats. im not the one who hurt them. at the end, they hurt me first, but they always end up getting what they desire the most while im here, hurting, and feeling alone. that just sucks. life’s not fair

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