There's nothing Remus and Sirius won't give up for each other, including their marriage.
(Seems like Angst, but I promise it's more Fluff!)
For Better or for Worse
“I’ve gone over your prenuptial agreement,” the judge says, studying the document in front of her. “And it is well-documented that possessions you had before the marriage will remain yours after the divorce. However,” the judge looks up from her paper and into the courtroom. “That leaves any possessions acquired while you were married. According to my information, the house, for example, was bought in the second year of your marriage.”
Sirius’ lawyer gets to her feet. “The house was financed entirely with the money my client had inherited from his late uncle. Before his passing, he decided to leave his money to Mr Black and Mr Black alone. It is nonsensical that my client’s decision to invest that money into real estate would suddenly make Mr Lupin entitled to it.”
As the lawyer sits back down, the judge looks over at Remus, sat on the other side of the courtroom, alone, without a lawyer. Remus just averts his eyes.
The judge sighs, and turns back to Sirius and his legal support. “Then can you confirm that Mr Black has, for the duration of the marriage, been the sole breadwinner?”
“Correct,” the lawyer says.
“And can you confirm that it was in agreement with both parties that Mr Lupin has, for the duration of the marriage, been dependent on Mr Black’s income?”
“...Correct,” the lawyer says, a bit more hesitant this time.
“And taking that into consideration,” the judge continues. “Don’t you agree that your client owes it to Mr Lupin to financially support him by means of alimony at least until Mr Lupin has had the opportunity to get matters in order and arrange his finances?”
“Forgive me, your honour, but I must disagree.” The lawyer is standing again end crosses her arms over her chest. “Mr Lupin’s inability to find paid employment is solely due to his... condition. Now, discrimination against Lycanthropes in the labour market is a discussion that falls outside the scope of this lawsuit, but it is evident that it is not my client’s responsibility, nor does he have to pay the costs for it.”
Remus looks down at the table. Embarrassed doesn’t really cover how he’s feeling. It’s humiliating.
“So you truly wish to leave your ex-husband with absolutely nothing?” The judge is now addressing Sirius directly, and Remus can hear the barely suppressed frustration in her voice.
Sirius’ eyes narrow, and he opens his mouth to reply, but his lawyer cuts him off.
“Objection! That question is subjective, and implies a moral judgment of my client. The morality of his actions is not what is being called into question here, only the legality.”
The judge purses her lips, but gives the lawyer a stiff nod before turning to Remus. “Mr Lupin,” she sounds a lot more gentle now. “Do you wish to say anything?”
Remus steadies himself, taking a deep breath and hardening his expression, before looking up at the judge with a steady gaze. “He can keep his money. I don’t want it.”
The judge looks at him for a long moment, but Remus’ determined expression does not waver. Then she nods and looks back at Sirius and his lawyer. “Then I hereby grant Mr Black’s request that all assets will be his and he shall be exempt from the obligation to pay alimony, and with that, I declare the divorce between Sirius Orion Black and Remus John Lupin officially finalized.”
The judge bangs her hammer and that’s it. Their marriage is now officially over. Remus feels an emptiness inside that he hadn’t anticipated. He knows it’s for the best, doesn’t he? They’ve been fighting for so long, at some point, it’s just been enough.
Once all papers are signed and Remus is standing at the side of the courtroom, he briefly meets Sirius’ eyes, and for a moment, he sees reflected in them the same pain and regret that he’s feeling inside. Then Sirius’ lawyer walks up to Sirius with a broad smile, and his expression changes to a huge grin as he happily shakes his lawyer’s hand, all previous emotion having disappeared.
Remus quietly leaves the courtroom.
Sirius is walking down the street, having opted to walk home, as he really needed some fresh air after all that. The people around must think him incredibly vain, walking whilst looking in a mirror. Either that, or completely crazy, for talking to said mirror.
“So, how did it go today?” James asks on the other side of the mirror.
Sirius runs a hand through his hair. “I suppose it went well. As good as could be expected. Everything was assigned to me, so we got what we wanted.”
“That’s great,” James says with a relieved sigh. “Or, well, this whole situation is shitty of course, so it’s sucks that it had to happen in the first place, but I’m glad you at least managed to get the best possible outcome.”
“Yeah,” Sirius says. “I mean, we tried, but in the end, there was truly nothing else we could’ve done.”
James smiles at him. “Exactly. Take care, Padfoot. I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thanks, mate. I appreciate it.”
Sirius closes the front door with his foot, kicks off his shoes and starts to take off his suit jacket. “Babe, I’m home,” he says, as he throws his suit jacket over a kitchen chair and walks into the living room. “Went for a short walk to clear my mind and let Prongs know how today it went.” He walks over to the couch and flops down facedown, letting out a groan. “Today was awful.”
Remus closes his book and places it on the small table next to him, before gently carding his fingers through Sirius’ hair. “It really was,” he agrees.
Sirius shuffles further towards Remus and presses his face in his neck.
Remus hears the unasked question there: Please hold me. I need to be close to you right now.
So Remus wraps his arms tight around Sirius and pulls him even closer.
“Today was probably the worst day of my life,” Sirius mumbles against Remus’ neck.
“Yeah, it was like being in some dystopian future in which we didn’t love each other anymore.” Remus shudders.
“I’m sorry my lawyer was so awful. I didn’t know she’d go in that hard.”
Remus shrugs. “We needed her to be cut-throat, and she was.”
“I guess that’s true,” Sirius says. “I didn’t know she was going to use the Lycanthropy argument.”
“She wasn’t wrong though.” Remus can’t quite keep the bitterness from his voice. “They can sit there and call you out for being cruel, but they shouldn’t forget it’s their own policy that has put me in this position in the first place.”
And then to think that this whole mess started with something that seemed so positive at first:
Wolfsbane.
Hell, it’s still positive. Okay, it’s not a cure, but it’s a step, and a huge step at that. Ask any werewolf, and they will say that the worst thing about the whole transformation is the feeling of losing control, of losing yourself, of being pushed out of your own mind. With the Wolfsbane Potion, you still have the monthly transformations, the pain in your bones and joints as they bend and snap into place, the tiredness before and after the transformation, sure, but that hopelessness, that fear of yourself, of what you might do, that’s no longer there, and that makes all the difference in the world.
You will never be a monster again.
But Wolfsbane Potion comes at a high prize. Literally and figuratively. The Potion is incredibly difficult to brew, and can only be prepared by experienced Potions Masters, which makes it incredibly expensive. On top of that, for it to have the proper effect, a person has to take it every single day. And werewolves aren’t exactly a population that has money to spare.
When the Ministry announced that they were going to provide Wolfsbane Potion for free to every Lycanthrope who can’t afford it, Remus could barely believe it. It seemed too good to be true.
And alas, it was.
You see, with ‘Lycanthropes who can’t afford it’, the Ministry actually meant ‘Lycanthropes who had used every knut they owned, who sold their house and every possession that was worth something and used that money too, who ended up on the street possessing nothing more than the clothes on their body’. Then, and only then, will the Ministry provide them with free Wolfsbane Potion.
What it came down to, was that werewolves were given the choice between giving up everything they have and end up with nothing whilst being on Wolfsbane, or simply don’t take Wolfsbane. Basically, the only ones for whom Wolfsbane Potion was actually a feasible option, were the werewolves who are already living out on the street. And while this population, the population of werewolves who have given up on trying to make something out of their lives due to discriminatory anti-lycanthrope laws and are living together in camps, is rather large, these people are often so angry with the society that has rejected them, that they have embraced their identity as werewolves, revel in being monsters, and gain satisfaction from the fear they install in people. For most of them, Wolfsbane Potion would have no appeal. For some of them, staying in control and being themselves while transformed wouldn’t make them any less dangerous. And for a few- Remus shudders to remember the man who bit him all those years ago- it would make them a lot more dangerous.
And even if Wolfsbane Potion would be a good option for this group, what will that mean? Remus has been working his whole adult life to empower werewolves. But what incentive will they have now to make something out of their lives? Why get a job when every knut you make will immediately go to the Ministry if you still want your Wolfsbane? Why even try to find a place to live when you will be forced to choose between rent or Wolfsbane, and buying a house per definition means no longer getting Wolfsbane?
It’s unfair, and Remus has spent months fighting it, with the continuous support of his husband. He has written articles and opinion pieces in newspapers, has spoken at political gatherings, has been to meetings with several ministers. In the worst-case-scenario, he got a rude dismissal, and in the best-case-scenario, an empty promise. Also the general public couldn’t be bothered, werewolves just weren’t a group they particularly cared about. Besides, they had heard the Ministry was going to provide free Wolfsbane Potion to Lycanthropes who can’t afford it, so what more do they want? It was already more than they deserved.
Remus eventually had to accept he won’t be able to change the policy.
And he still desperately wanted the Wolfsbane.
Now, Remus was so lucky to be in a position werewolves don’t often find themselves in: he had a partner he could fully rely on. The ministry wouldn’t give him free Wolfsbane if he has an income, savings, a house, but they would give him free Wolfsbane if Sirius has an income, savings, a house, while Remus has, at least on paper, nothing.
It’s the perfect solution. Remus can get Wolfsbane, while still having a roof over his head and food on the table. He keeps reminding himself how it’s truly the best of both worlds, how lucky he is, how hardly any werewolves, hell, hardly any people period, have someone they not only can rely on the way he can rely on Sirius, but also trust as completely the way Remus can trust Sirius.
Because Remus is truly putting himself in an incredibly vulnerable position.
If Sirius would want to, Remus would be left with nothing. Technically, Sirius has everything, and Remus is completely dependent on him, but in reality, it just doesn’t feel like that. Sirius works really hard in the hospital every day, and Remus works really hard on his social justice cases, his campaigning for werewolf rights, his articles and talks at political conferences, and in the end, it’s their income, their savings, their house, even if Sirius is technically the only one who actually gets paid for the work he does.
Remus doesn’t feel like Sirius is financially supporting him, and doesn’t feel like he should be thankful. Don’t get him wrong, he’s incredibly thankful to have Sirius in his life, and incredibly thankful to have him return his love, but he’ll never say he’s thankful that Sirius is providing for him. Sirius will have none of that if he heard Remus say it. They are equals, and they both see it that way.
When Remus realised what needed to happen, Sirius had not wanted to hear it. He refused to accept there was no other way. He still had money left from his uncle’s inheritance, he had family heirlooms they could sell, they could move to a smaller house, and in the mean time, Sirius could take on another job during the weekends and evenings. Remus, on the other hand, refused to put that kind of pressure on Sirius. Only when he said that he would not go on Wolfsbane if Sirius did not agree to a divorce, words Remus never thought would ever come out of his mouth, Sirius caved.
The first results on the effects from Wolfsbane are incredibly. Not only psychologically, because again, not being a monster, but also physically. There are no more wounds, bruises or broken bones, the strain on your body is so much less, and there are even studies that show Wolfsbane Potion can increase a Lycanthrope’s life expectancy! And that’s probably the only thing Sirius cares about more than his marriage to Remus: Remus’ wellbeing.
So yes, Remus has the best of both worlds, Remus is so very lucky, other werewolves can only dream to have what Remus has, and all that. But it’s so hard to see it as a good deal when the price he had to pay was his marriage to Sirius.
Sirius sees the signed divorce papers lying on the table and hides his face in Remus’ sweater, where Remus can just make out his muffled voice. “Can you put those away somewhere I don’t ever have to see them again?”
Remus kisses the top of his head. “It’s nothing but paperwork.”
Sirius huffs. “We sighed paperwork stating ‘till death does us part’, not ‘till public policy does us part’.”
Remus can’t help but chuckle. “I must say, I much prefer this over one of us being dead.”
“Yeah, but it’s...” Sirius trials off.
“Talk to me,” Remus presses gently. “I know it’s not what we had envisioned, but why is it so hard on you?”
“I promised you forever,” Sirius says so softly Remus can barely make out the words. “And I feel like I’ve let you down.”
“Oh, love.” Remus squeezes him closer for a moment. “You’re still here, aren’t you? And I’m still here. The way I see it, ‘forever’ is still very much on the table.”
Sirius lifts his head to look at Remus. He smiles, but it’s a weak smile. “Of course, you’re right.”
Remus places a hand on hid cheek. “You did it for me, because you want me to be on Wolfsbane. I did it for you, because I don’t want you to suffer the costs. Now, what shows that we love each other more? That, or some piece of paper?”
Sirius averts his eyes. “Is that really all it ever was to you?”
Remus thinks about it for a moment. “I love you,” he eventually says. “And I guess it was nice to have a confirmation of that on paper, but it never defined us. What there is between us could never be captured by paperwork. It’s an indescribable feeling of belonging together that I’m never going to find with anyone else, it’s an unexplainable knowledge of just being meant to be, of having found ‘the one’, it’s so much that, quite frankly, the idea of a piece of paper adding anything to it or taking anything away from it just seems ridiculous.”
“And I love you,” Sirius says, before he kisses him briefly. “I love you, and even if you’re not my husband anymore, you’ll always be my person.”
Bitches be like "this is my comfort character" and then it's a gay dog who went to prison for 12 years bc they thought he had murdered his best friends and swam his way out of it through a fucking ocean just so could kill a rat and reunite with his godson and his werewolf lover. That's me. I'm bitches.
This year's pride month feels kinda special and somewhat personal , just few weeks back I identified myself as a bisexual and hence a part of LGBTQIA , just 2 days back I came out to a few close people and they all have been showering me with love and acceptance , and it feels awesome . 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
The amount of people that have wished me happy pride is insane . I feel very comfortable in my skin and all the anxiousness just disappeared. 😭🏳️🌈
I am still scared to come out to my brown desi parents but that can wait . I am just enjoying my sexuality and exploring and growing . 💜💚💛🧡❤️💙
I can finally say that I am very proud of myself . 🌈
And I want to say that anyone and everyone who is feeling unloved today . Just remember that there are many people who loves you , who'll accept you.💘✨
Here's how I think the Marauders (and Lily) must've reacted to Remus and Sirius not being straight
As much as I know them, Sirius wouldn't even have known that he wasn't straight till he joined Hogwarts because of the household he grew up in and as for Remus, he would've known all his life but would've never told anyone, just like the fact that he was a werewolf, because he must've feared being labelled as an outcast (for both the things) since it's the old times we're talking about when being an LGBTQ+ member would've been presumed to be as bad as being a werewolf (maybe more?).
Fast forward to the time when all the Marauders know that Remus is a werewolf and my dudes have already done the animagi thing. So, everything must've been going pretty normally when one day Sirius would've been hit with the realization that he was indeed gay. He would've told his best friends in an instant that he "thinks" he's gay. While James would've brushed it off thinking it was another one of his jokes (Peter following suit), Remus would've understood because duh. Sirius wouldn't even have cared about how people would react, he would've gone around saying it, supported by James (who'd still be thinking that it was a joke), while Remus would have been back in the common room (with a clueless Peter) still wishing to have the balls to come out as his friend did.
Then one fine day, Lily would've noticed Remus gawking at Sirius, dozing off in the middle of quills and parchments, for the millionth time and would've finally had the guts to ask him what he was thinking. Remus would've blushed and most likely would have tried to change the topic which would have made Lily more suspicious. Then, as indirectly as possible, (most probably through a story) Lily would've advised him to come out, because it wasn't a bad thing. That's when Remus would've decided to come out, atleast to his friends.
So, when Remus would've been telling the guys and Lily that he wasn't straight, Sirius would have shouted that he always knew and would've questioned if being gay came with a gay sensor, while James would've had a double shock realizing that not only Remus was gay, but so was Sirius and he was never kidding in the first place. And the first question that he would've asked would be that how the fuck did both them not fall for him (earning an eyeroll from Lily) while Peter would've asked if being gay was contagious. So the entire evening would've gone by with Lily and Remus answering questions coming from James, Peter and not very surprisingly, Sirius (since, finally people were taking him siriously, buddy had a lot of doubts).
After that, James would've started shipping his two best friends together, just as a joke (we know where this is going) and again Lily would've been the first one to notice that something was actually going on between Sirius and Remus. She would've pointed it out to James whose first reaction would've been "haha, guess it isn't a joke anymore" (making Lily question why she was falling for a person who took everything as a joke) and then they would've pressurised Sirius and Remus to "grow the balls" and ask each other out.
And that's how wolfstar would've come into existence.
If Jk Rowling wanted so much for us to believe that Remus was straight maybe just MAYBE she shouldn’t have made him drop whatever he was holding and panic EVERY SINGLE time someone mentioned Sirius in Prisoner of Azkaban
And don’t even get me started with all the eye fucking in the Order of the Phoenix
