I hate that you still linger in my head
I hate that some nights I still cry before I sleep,
And that so many things still remind me of you.
The other day my breakfast tasted like burnt garlic because my mother’s mind was somewhere else.
I remembered the time when your love tasted like that because your heart was somewhere else.
See, I hate that I still think about you in metaphors,
And that I’m writing about you again
For the first time in three months.
I don’t know how to forget you
Like I can’t forget the first shooting star I ever saw.
How could I? You were practically that shooting star, remember?
It was that time I realized I didn’t want to lose you. And by some miraculous celestial intervention, you came back to me.
I know - that’s not going to happen again.
I keep saying that it’s okay. That I’m okay. And that whatever it is that happened between us is okay.
I hate it. I hate that I have to convince myself that you weren’t a monster,
That I have to preserve the person who once loved me, but that’s no longer you.
The hard truth is that I don’t know you anymore.
The last time you talked to me you said that you bought more stuff for your apartment, that you cook now, and that you’re always exhausted when you get home
You wear suits to work,
And you were just in a business trip in Korea.
I saw your new pictures, and I don’t think I know you anymore.
You changed, and it’s good to change.
It’s just that I no longer connect with the changed you.
So this is the last time.
God, I hope this is the last time I feel that I still have too much to say to you that I have to let it out like this.
It is what it is.
You had to leave,
And I’m living with the choice you made.
You are, too.
It is what it is.
My mother didn’t apologize for burning the garlic.
She had to swallow it, too.
izzy806
snowghoul
2087
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