BLINDING LIGHTS — CHAPTER [25] of RED LIGHTS [18+!]
“N-No, don’t be sorry,” he says with a gentle voice. “All I’ve ever wanted for you was to be happy, yeah? Don’t worry about me, can you promise that, baby?”
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💻 The finale of Red Lights is finale here. But who wins this game, is entirely up to you. Please read instructions below ↓
[READ CAREFULLY]❗️In order to decide how the story ends, select an option at the end of the chapter. Options will be underlined and have a link attached to them. Therefore, you can decide who your personal winner of Red Lights is. Just go back to this post in order to reread the other options. Have fun and make sure to comment/reblog this post after reading!
🛷 CONTENT INFO: skz ot8 x afab reader [not at the same time], pls refer to masterlist for more info, reality/dating show AU, minors do not interact since it includes topics only suitable for adults, content warning under the cut
📕 WORD COUNT: approx. 4K [or 15.7K in total if you reread all the options]
🎸 SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
🥀 CONTENT WARNING: explicit sexual content [no further details to prevent spoilers], alcohol consumption
The characters do not portray any of the skz members in real life, the names are just used for fiction. Minors do not interact, this post contains mature topics. By reading you consent to nsfw content and agree that you have read all the warnings above carefully.
Your heart feels heavy once again. Oxygen gets stuck in your throat, whenever you think about what’s awaiting you.
You have to say goodbye. Again. To two of the candidates. All before the finale is around the corner. Fuck. The decision was anything but easy.
But you’ve noticed a pattern. While three of them have been open and transparent with you, two of them only revealed their true feelings fully to you yesterday when you were shopping with the five men, one after another.
It’s unfair. Particularly, since you kissed both of them yesterday and, especially, since you aren’t really sure yet… at least not entirely. About your choices. About what happens after the show. So, you opt for doing what your heart tells you—choosing the three men that, in your opinion, fought the most for you.
And saying goodbye to the two others who didn’t do enough.
“Hi, Hyunjin,” you greet your roommate.
He isn’t sure what to expect. Soyeon called him to the entrance hall, telling him he will meet you there spontaneously. His heart is acting up, palpating beats echoing in his chest.
“Hey, pretty.”
His voice is smaller than usual. He sounds small, insecure almost.
“I’m… I’m sorry b-but you didn’t make it to the finale.”
Hyunjin nods, getting proved right with his horrible assumptions. Fuck. Whoever you choose will probably become your new boyfriend in real life too. He’s never had a chance against those other guys, right? Shit. He wishes he could turn back time—confess to you earlier, way before the start of this stupid show. Hyunjin wants to make up for all the time, apologising for how he behaved on Halloween night over and over again.
“It’s okay, I understand, Y/N,” he says.
You pull him into a hug, hesitantly, but he lets you. The both of you stay like this for what feels like eternity, tears running down both your cheeks. Fuck. You’re so confused, unsure if it’s the right decision to let him go.
But Red Lights doesn’t matter anymore. You want to leave the show as soon as possible, holding the hand of the man who makes your heart move the most.
Hyunjin softly places a gentle kiss on your cheek, before he lets go and walks away—his sobbing noises spreading through the entrance hall.
Soyeon brings in the other unlucky guy, revealing your best friend.
“Chan…”
He sees it in your eyes. The sadness. The guilt. The worry. Everything combined. You won’t even have to explain it to him, Chan can already sense that he’s out of the show, that he wasn’t good enough for you to get a spot in the finale.
“This was it?” he asks, scoffing, but with no mean intention behind it.
“Yeah… I’m so sorry,” you reply, head hanging low.
He immediately walks towards you, grabbing your cheeks and tilting your gaze up again, so that you look at him.
“N-No, don’t be,” Chan says with a gentle voice. “All I’ve ever wanted for you was to be happy, yeah? Don’t worry about me, can you promise that, baby?”
“I p-promise,” you say between sniffles. You’re breaking both his heart and your own one with this.
“Whoever you choose, damn, he’ll be a lucky guy… having you as a wife one day,” your best friend chuckles.
“Thank you for everything, Chan.”
“Take care, Y/N,” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. He squeezes your upper body, his hands roaming around your shoulders, before taking a step back and disappearing in the distance.
You can hear the crying sounds echoing through the entrance hall but can’t differentiate anymore if they are his or yours.
💻
“Ready to get styled one last time?”
Her voice makes you feel a little more grounded once again. It’s just the effect the makeup assistant has on you. Without Yeji, this past week would have been a lot worse—which is horrifying, considering how bad it was.
Well, it wasn’t entirely bad. You made lots of great memories with all the contestants, got closer to them and got to meet old friends. Red Lights enlightened secrets that would have been kept hidden otherwise. Maybe that’s why you chose Jisung, Minho and Seungmin for the finale. They’ve all come here with such a weight being carried on their shoulders and once they got the chance, they took it and told you how they really feel. You appreciate their honesty, their straightforwardness when it comes to their feelings.
“Hm, I’m ready, Yeji,” you let the assistant know and she immediately grabs a few appliances.
“I’ll give you a glittery but simple makeup. It should fit together quite well with the white dress you’ll be wearing,” she explains.
You’re a little confused. If you are gonna wear a white dress, why did you go shopping with the five men yesterday? What was the purpose of that?
“White dress?”
“Yes, for the ball itself you’ll be wearing a white dress with silver ornaments first,” Yeji continues. “Once you’ve decided who your real life prince is, you change into the outfit he chose for you.”
“Okay, I understand,” you reply.
She goes back to focusing on your look, letting your face shimmer with the help of the glittering particles that reflect the light.
“Are you nervous? Excited?” Yeji asks.
“A little bit of everything, to be honest,” you admit.
You’re mostly overwhelmed. But you’ve been this way even since before the start of the show. You came here basically as a ball of anxiety, mess and insecurities and although the show played with your sanity a little too much, you can say that you have grown a lot more confident within this week. At least something good.
“It’s gonna be okay, I promise. Has your heart already decided?”
You shake your head no, “Unfortunately not, no.”
“You’ve still got time. It’ll be alright. Whoever you choose will probably make you happy,” Yeji reassures you.
“I sure hope so.”
💻
You enter the ballroom with a heavy heart, once again. Hyunjin and Chan are still on your mind, you can’t deny it. You keep wondering what choosing one of the three remaining men will determine—will you automatically get into a relationship with them? Just see how things go? Contemplating if it was such a good idea to have Minho in the finale, you take a deep breath, before you approach the director.
“What a stunning look on you, my dear,” she compliments you.
You thank her, trying to calm yourself down. You’ve been wondering—since Jisung told you about the story behind Red Lights—why Soyeon became the director of this shitshow. She always made the impression that she sincerely wanted to revolutionise this genre because she cares about topics like feminism, true love and presenting a realistic story. So, how come she worked for Han Productions then? Was she perhaps not honest and thinks the same way as Jisung’s father and all the other people with a high position in the entertainment industry?
“Soyeon? Can I ask you something before we start?”
“Of course,” she says, a smile on her face, as usual.
“I… I know about the whole background of the show… J-Jisung told me. You’re friends, right?”
“Yeah, we are. I won’t tell his father that Jisung told you, don’t worry,” she reassures you.
“Why did you become the director of Red Lights?”
“Well, when Mr Han showed me the concept, I fell in love with the idea itself,” she confesses. Okay, that sounds as if she had in fact good intentions. “I didn’t know back then what the real history of it was and… when I already signed the contract… he told me that they only chose me because I am a woman and it therefore seems more ‘woke’ or whatever.”
Oh, shit. You should have realised so much sooner. But unfortunately, you always tend to search for the tiniest good thing in people that are anything but that. You should have known. A show that actively tries to be less problematic because they have actual good intentions and isn’t here to make the most money—this only exists in dreams and fairytales. Of course, Red Lights is just as profit-oriented as everything else.
“God, I’m so sorry. But you’ve always done your best. I’m glad you were here, you know? You gave me comfort despite the circumstances,” you are the one to reassure her now.
Soyeon really needed to hear this. She felt so bad for putting you through this drama although it wasn’t her decision to make, anyway. Red Lights could have actually been so wholesome, if she wasn't just a puppet for Han Productions.
“I’m glad to hear that,” she says. “However you decide, Y/N, it’s gonna be okay, yeah? But for now, there are three men waiting to dance with you.”
The first one steps inside, Seungmin being revealed behind the red curtain. He has a bright smile on his face as well as a gleam of anxiety. When you went on that first date with him a couple of days ago, your childhood friend would have never thought to get into the finale. He seriously thought it was over at that time. But he promised to not leave this show without fighting. And fighting he did.
He reaches for your hand, placing a gentle kiss on the back of it. Seungmin looks like a real prince—the black suit and tie has silver ornaments attached to the fabric, matching with your dress. His hair is styled a little back, showing his forehead. He looks beautiful like that, you’re afraid your mouth might fall agape.
“You’re beautiful,” he compliments you, pulling you a little closer.
“You too, Minnie.”
Your childhood friend’s heart skips a beat, but he covers it up by placing his hands on your hips while your own get thrown around his neck. The classical music fills the ballroom, when he starts dancing with you. His movements are a little stiff which can mainly be blamed on how nervous he is.
“Thank you, Y/N, for having me here,” Seungmin tells you with a low voice.
“Of course, it wouldn’t be the same without you.”
He sends a soft smile your way, as you continue swaying over the dancefloor. Candlelight is shrouding the room in a warm colour, as the ornaments on your outfits reflect it in a glittering way. You forget about time and space when you’re with him. Seungmin has always been your anchor throughout all those years. You wonder how you haven’t realised sooner. Maybe you were just scared to mess things up since he means so much to you but you’re glad that he was bold enough to make a move on you.
The song comes to an end and so does your time spent together with him. Seungmin gives you another sweet kiss on your cheek, before he walks away and the next man gets sent into the ballroom.
It’s Minho, your ex boyfriend—the guy who you are not sure of should be part of the finale. But you made your decision based on who fought the most for you and he did. In ways that showed that he can be selfless too, when he told you he is ready to set you free.
“You look amazing, Y/N,” Minho says, his voice filled with nervousness. He is wearing the exact same outfit as Seungmin and it fits him just as perfectly.
He reaches for your hand, copying the motions Seungmin did a couple of minutes ago, before you’re caught under his spell. Dancing with Minho always felt like pure ecstasy running through your veins, as if all your synapses are hypnotised and in trance—an indescribable feeling that has had you craving for more. He used to be a professional dancer after all—a dream that his parents didn’t support—and he for sure is still as skilled as he used to be.
You immediately feel like back then, as if he’s still your partner, the one person you want to fall asleep together with and wake up next to. In case you decide to choose Minho in the end, you seriously hope it’ll work this time.
He places a kiss on your forehead, once the current song comes to an end and a minute later, you find yourself dancing with your former enemy. Screw anything you said earlier—Jisung looks the best in this suit with the silver ornaments. Being so close together with him, wearing a white dress, makes you feel as if you’re part of the ending scene of any Cinderella movie. Hopefully, you won’t lose your shoe.
“You’re astonishing, doll,” he flirts with you, pulling you closer. His moves are confident, Jisung knows what he’s doing although he doesn’t come close to Minho. Without a doubt, he was the biggest plot twist of the whole show. You still regret it so much that it took you three years to realise. But you’re here now and it feels so right to dance with him. Jisung makes you feel like no one else does. Perhaps, this could be a sign, right?
Unfortunately, the third song comes to an end at some point, too. Jisung quickly says goodbye to you by giving a sweet kiss to your cheek, before he disappears behind the curtains.
“Y/N,” Soyeon approaches you then. “You looked fantastic. With all of them. How are you feeling?”
You smile, “Nervous and calm at the same time, although that makes no sense.”
“It makes perfect sense, darling.” It actually does. You’re overwhelmed, unable to sort your emotions. This isn’t an easy setting to be in, after all. “Are you ready to finally decide who will win this show with you? Who will spend the last night here with you and leave the mansion together tomorrow?”
You chuckle, “I hope so.”
Soyeon guides you to a small room that’s attached to the dance floor. You find three little boxes, covered in a velvety fabric.
“There are three different necklaces inside them. Choose the one that you like the most, you will probably know how they are connected to the three men. Once you’ve made a decision, let me know and I’ll give you the second dress to change into.”
You nod, feeling your heartbeat quicken at the speed of light. Soyeon leaves you alone then, so you have enough quietness to decide. The idea of leaving the mansion without a winner comes to your mind again. What if you just went home, destroyed Red Lights fully by choosing none of the accessories? Perhaps, that would break the men’s hearts, although you’re gonna destroy two of them tonight nevertheless.
Fuck. You’re hyperventilating once again.
This is it.
Are you ready to choose your winner or do you want to back out at the last minute and quit the show?
Results of poll 24 from BALLROOM EXTRAVAGANZA [previous chapter]:
[yeah, what can I say? you got an individual ending for all of them, after all hehe. this was planned from the beginning, I left a spoiler somewhere in the beginning of the month that it's gonna be 8 different endings. whoever finds it, gets a cookie 🍪]
❤️🔥 AUTHOR’S NOTE: where do I start? Everyone, thank you for this last month. You made December a much brighter month than it usually is here. Posting a new chapter each day became part of my routine and one of the top things I was looking forward to. I am so fucking grateful for all the support. I loved reading your thoughts on the characters, the storyline as well as how you made up theories about who must be behind the whole show! YOU inspired me a lot. As well as the participation in the polls. This story literally wouldn’t have been possible without you my loves. I am so thankful. This doesn’t come close to anything I’ve ever created and shared on here. I love you all so much. Please take care of yourselves and have a great rest of the year as well as a good start into 2024! May it be full of love because you are all deserving of that ❤️
I am SO sorry that I only finished this now. Damn. My holiday really sucked tbh. But holy crap, this was good! It was a fun, interactive read and yet you managed to inject it with so much emotion and depth. All the back stories were so incredibly written - I mean, the threesome with Changbin because Minho was petty?! Like, my mind still can't get around that. I was really disappointed in Hyunjin, especially at the Halloween party and Chan 😭 I will always have a soft spot for that one. I chose Jisung at the end because he wasn't an asshole, he still had a substantial spark with mc and he wasn't toxic as hell.
Thank you so much for this! I will get back to reading your other, fantastic pieces - just need to adjust to my life again. 💙🌻
shall we get going, mademoiselle? | super bored chap. 4
pairing: hyunjin x (afab) reader | wc: 41.6k | genre: romance, smut | warnings: complicated relationships ; jealousy ; heartbreak ; angst ; hurt/comfort ; This work is for adult audiences only, view all compiled warnings here.
Hope may not have been a tangible thing, something that you could feel with your hands, but you knew that grieving it would cost you a lot. You could feel it already, draining you, draining the light out of you, rewriting your DNA. Rewriting you into a sorrow-stained person.
You thought it was the smell of bacon that pulled you from sleep, but upon opening your eyes, you saw Soonie’s big curious eyes two, perhaps three centimeters away from your face. The cat let out a faint vocalization before climbing on your chest and curling up there. He was heavier than he looked, but you didn’t push him away. Instead, you scratched his head and Soonie responded by nestling his face into your palm and falling asleep there.
You stared at the cat quietly, your head throbbing with a mild headache. When you felt Soonie’s deep, adorable purring though, you closed your eyes, resting your head again on the pillow underneath it.
One tear rolled from the corner of your eye. Then another. And another.
Hyunjin. His eyes into yours, his smile, his arms around you, his lips on yours. Hyunjin, his laughter, his voice, his face disappearing between your legs…
You held your breath in a lame attempt at controlling your cries, but it seemed as though your heartache was too big and there was not enough space inside you to hold it all. So you cried, swallowing quiet sobs as the painful memories of the night before replayed in your mind like unskippable ads.
You hadn’t been careful enough. Now that you were thinking about it, you hadn’t been careful at all. The very second you deduced that Hyunjin was here on his own, you immediately assumed that he would want to be with you.
But the truth was that he had never wanted to be with you, not before he left and not after he came back. He had been here for almost a month, apparently, and while you understood that he must have been busy with moving and work, he hadn’t even texted you. Not once. Even in Paris—he had stopped texting you a long time ago.
The truth was that Hyunjin liked you. Your energy matched his, you had a lot in common, he was funny and interesting and he genuinely liked being in your company. You didn’t question that, not one bit—you may be hurting this morning, but you could still recognize that Hyunjin was a good person. A fairy tale of a man. He wouldn’t lie about wanting to have you in his life, and you didn’t even doubt that he had missed you while he was away.
You didn’t even think he lied when he said he hadn’t really loved Camille, but in no way did that mean that he loved you. You must have been drunker than you had believed to be because you were certain there had been something between you and Hyunjin last night. The same flame that had been there before he left.
Hyunjin liked you, and he liked fucking you, and he liked when you fucked him. He had genuine affection for you and you had a place in his heart.
But he had a bigger place in yours.
» Read the full chapter + Camille's interlude on ao3.
(tumblr literally didn't let me post this chapter due to its size, sorry. you don't need an ao3 account to read it, just click the link!)
a/n: again, so sorry about posting this on ao3, I really intended on posting it on tumblr also but I couldn’t because of the size! I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone, from the bottom of my heart, for the love and support you’ve showed me & this fic. For your patience, too. Thank you for your kind words, for being so invested in this story. I want you guys to know I will never forget this, and I am excessively grateful.
This... I read it twice over the course of two weeks as I needed to organise my thoughts. There is a reason why this is my favourite fic. The characters are so well fleshed out. Tipsy is so sweet and calm yet her light shines so brightly in these paragraphs. Tipsy is unapologetically Tipsy. Also, gods bless Camille - she was incredible for going to the woman her love worshipped. She told the truth and reassured her. Only a strong person would be able to do that. And Hyunjin's vulnerability shining through the messages and calls.... I teared up!! I wanted to hold him when he said he regretted leaving T behind. I loved that Chan was selflessly happy for them - he deserves the world!
The date was perfect and the SMUT. I'll say it again, you are incredible at writing this. You don't make it cheap, you don't make it easy gratification. You interweave the essence of love through their actions and make it so much more. It all built up to him asking her out in such a natural setting. No frills, just them where they belong.
Synopsis: Caught in a stressful situation, you do the only thing you can think of - texting your friend's older brother, Chan. However, was that really the better option?
General Warnings: Smut (specifics under the cut), unwilling drug use and comedown, swearing
Word count: 10.5k
Strayerthings Masterlist
a/n: Hey readers! Long time no see - hope your holidays were fantastic. As promised, I'm releasing this in January. Please let me know your thoughts and don't forget to reblog! There is a sensitive scene filled with macho bullshit at the start but it doesn't last long. I must say, writing for Chan is always such a ride. Anyways, enjoy! 🖤🌻
“Look at Y/n for example, she’s hot but also a gaming nerd obsessed with Kpop so she hardly gets any. We should be going after girls like that since they’re not the sluts showing their tits on OnlyFans.”
You slid further into the couch, trying to make yourself look small. Your mind was a haze and you could hardly stand up for yourself like you normally would. Your colleague was making the most ridiculous, sexist statements that screamed ‘Andrew Tate’ but all you could do was try and hide your shaking nerves. It had gotten so bad that your teeth were chattering. Jack had always been nice to you and you thought he was a solid guy but a different side was brought out when he revealed the party favours. You had accepted the invitation to his house warming without worrying about what the night would hold - your plan was to show up, act impressed at the large space, have one drink and then bounce. It couldn’t have been further from the truth because now you were sitting in a room with around six people, coming down from the coke they had pressured you into taking (you were too inebriated to say no) and he was spouting all this bullshit about how women were always out to get each other and kissing you all over your face. The more invasive he got about your body, your sex life and the inferiority of women, the more you froze up. You had never felt so unsafe before so you stumbled to the bathroom, trying to think fast - who could you message to come get you? It was 3 am in the city and most people were either too drunk or asleep. Who could you count on to always answer the phone? Who would you feel safe with whilst coming down? The questions were racing through your brain and you were about to give up when a name hit you square in the face. He was here. You thought hard about this - he had arrived the previous day and you hadn’t seen him in years. Would you really want your friend’s older brother seeing you high? Yes, you had kept in touch over the years - he had even gotten you a VIP ticket at a discount price - but this was too much. Suddenly, a knocking startled you out of your reverie.
“Y/n?”
It was Jack.
“What are you doing in there? Do another line with us because you’re looking way too sober, you can stay over!”
Oh fuck no.
You texted Chan.
You didn’t know how much time had passed - perched miserably on the couch, staring into space when a banging was heard over the music. The others looked at each other warily and a girl proceeded to open the door, widening her eyes. In strode a medium-length broad-chested man wearing a tight black t-shirt, ripped jeans and a black cap pulled low over his face. His silver earring glinted in the soft lighting. He tipped his head at her slightly and then lifted his head, serious eyes searching for something. When they landed on you, his jaw clenched. Hard. You struggled to focus but you were pretty sure you looked wrecked. Crossing the room, he knelt down at your side, glaring at the guy next to you who shifted further away.
“Y/n.”
“Channie,” you breathed out, relief etched across your features.
He cupped your cheek softly and sucked in a breath, finally taking note of the situation. When he saw the white lines of powder on the mirror in the middle of the table, his head whipped back to you with a questioning frown - you could only nod in response, too ashamed to admit to it verbally. His frown deepened and you instinctively cowered back in response - why did you think it was a good idea to text him? But, as if he knew what you were thinking, he grabbed your hand and rubbed soothing circles into the back of it, trying his best to school his expression.
“Knew it was too good to be true.”
Why couldn’t he just shut up? Chan shifted himself so that he was facing the rest of the room, scowl deepening with every second.
“What?”
Jack eyed him from where he was pacing, “I said it was too good to be true. Here I was, thinking that Y/n was so innocent - I was actually telling her to go to Korea to hook up before she grows old in order to satisfy her curiosity. With that hair, those tits and face - they would definitely notice her! But I had no idea she had already found herself one. Careful, Y/n, don’t turn into one of those loose bitches.”
There was so much to unpack here and your eyes widened in horror, frustrated tears pooling in your eyes. How dare this asshole speak about a culture like that? All you did was appreciate Kpop, the fact that he had implied it was a fetish for you had your brain spiraling. You didn’t even care about the remarks about your body - he had insinuated that you were sleeping with Chan and that you were only sleeping with him because he was Korean. You didn’t know where to look, humiliated and furious beyond belief. You opened your mouth, about to rip him a new one, but the man next to you had stood up, hands balled lightly into fists and eyes stern.
“Say one more thing to her and I’ll tear your head off.”
You couldn’t look up, too anxious to lift your head but the tone of his voice sent a ripple of fear through you. You could see it mirrored in the others’ faces because they immediately grabbed Jack and whispered in his ear. He casually sat down with a grin.
“I’m just messing around, man, what you do with your free time is not my problem. You sound like you’re from around here - have a line with us, let’s chat. What’s your type?”
Oh, this guy was deranged. Chan turned to you again, trying to meet your eyes in order to assess the damage. When he saw the panic he gently helped you up, pushing past the others with an arm around your shoulders. He silently led you down the stairs and while you waited for an uber, he held you close. You shook in his warmth, his strong arms encircling you - you were too embarrassed to look at him and he knew this so he whispered soothing words into your ear. He helped you into the car and when the driver set off, he started to talk.
“You all right?”
You studiously avoided him and he gently touched your hand, waiting a while before trying again.
“Y/n, look at me.”
You sighed and looked at him from the corner of your eye. He noticed something outside the window and straightened up.
“We can talk inside.”
Inside? You saw that you were entering an underground carpark of a hotel and turned to face him fully with an eyebrow cocked.
“You can’t honestly believe I would drop you off at your place after all that’s happened, right? Especially in this condition…” His voice had softened and he was back to stroking your hand. You just blinked and turned away again, feeling his hand retract.
When the car stopped, he opened the door for you, guiding you in with a gentle hand on the small of your back. He pulled out a keycard and you were ushered into an elevator. A thought struck you and you forced out a hushed question.
“Chan, we’re not going to your room, are we? What if the others found out?”
“Don’t worry, I booked another room as soon as you texted.”
Oh. You felt something that you couldn’t identify. Why would he do all this for you? Where was the boy who would push you into the pool as kids, who’d lock you out the house when you came over? You studied him surreptitiously - at least, you thought you were discreet. It had been years since you’d last seen him - you had obviously seen photos and videos, being a fan of their music, but nothing compared to the real thing. His shoulders had broadened, his face had become more defined and the look in his eyes had matured. When did his arms turn into those? Even in your beaten down state, you could appreciate this evolution. But you shook your head, you would not think of him like that. You hadn’t really spoken to his sister since you grew apart in first year but it was still slightly odd to find her brother attractive. You’d had a puppy crush on him back then but wasn’t that normal? It didn’t feel normal right now. You felt like a creep and tried not to let your admiration show. He and Lily only had a few years between them and you used to go over there quite often as kids which is why you had exchanged the odd message every couple years or so. He must have seen you as the annoyance of his childhood - especially now. He led you to your room at the end of the corridor, keeping his hand on you. You wished he would let go and just step back.
When you were inside he turned to you.
“Have a seat and I’ll be right back.”
You grabbed his hand as he tried to walk past you, silently asking him not to leave you. He removed his hand carefully and cupped your face, murmuring, “Don’t worry, I’m just getting you some clothes. Take a shower and I’ll be back before you know it.”
You slowly nodded and took a deep breath, watching him leave then you looked around. The room was magnificent. Everything was lit up in a soft, golden glow and the furniture was plush and new. The bed was monstrous and looked like you would sink straight into the mattress. But none of that registered with you - you felt disgusting. A dark cloud of insecurity had settled over you, chilling you to the bone. You had never done that particular drug before but the comedown was bleak. You felt so vulnerable, convinced that no one would be there for you. If Chan hadn’t been in the country, how would this night have ended? The chill had numbed you, made you apathetic - you were upset but couldn’t get the emotion out. You wandered into the bathroom, hoping the heat from the shower would warm you up and get you to feel something.
A soft knock on the door had you startling out of your thought process. Chan’s voice came through, telling you he had left the clothes outside the bathroom. You heard his footsteps retreat back into the room. When had he gotten back? You realised you’d been in the shower for a while, trying to get the heat back into your bones but it hadn’t worked. You felt cold. Cold and alone. You wrapped a towel around your shivering shoulders and cracked the door open, swiping an arm out for the clothing. You pulled on the navy blue t-shirt which was wonderfully baggy and settled on your thighs but the pyjama trousers were way too uncomfortable so you decided to forgo those. You were now faced with a dilemma - do you don your underwear or do you go commando in order to separate yourself from the night’s events? You skipped the panties. The shirt was so long that he wouldn’t notice anyway - at least, you hoped not.
You exited the room, still feeling nothing but the biting cold. Chan was settled on a champagne coloured armchair on the other side of the room, freshly showered and dressed in a black t-shirt and soft, cotton shorts. His dark hair was still damp and he was busy running his hand through it, looking tired. As soon as he saw you he froze, eyes raking down your bare legs. You almost felt a spark. Almost. When he noticed you shudder, he nodded towards the bedside table closest to him where a steaming cup of tea sat. You gingerly walked around the bed to his side and opened the duvet, sliding into the bed and propping yourself up against the headboard as gracefully as possible - your mind was still numb yet full of images, you needed this cloying frost to dissipate.
“Y/n.”
You lifted your mouth from the cup, sighing in defeat as the hot water still did nothing for your nerves. You wanted to scream but the emotion was so deeply embedded into your chest that you couldn’t claw it out.
“Y/n.”
You met his gaze timidly. He was bent over, resting his elbows on his muscular thighs to be closer to you and you took in every detail. Tired but warm eyes, curly hair, prominent nose and a plush mouth. A plush mouth that was pulled down in a concerned grimace. Again, you almost felt something stir.
“How are you feeling?”
You cleared your throat and willed yourself to speak but only a whisper was heard, “Better now, thanks to you.”
He narrowed his eyes but did not refute you.
“What happened tonight?”
“I went to a housewarming party and took drugs, that’s all.” You couldn’t bear to go into details, it was all too raw.
“Did you accept the coke willingly?”
You thought about it, did you consent? To be honest, you couldn’t remember much of how it started.
“Well, I didn’t say no…”
“Were you drunk when they offered you some?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever taken it before?”
“No.”
“Fuck.”
“I’m sorry..”
Chan snapped his head up from where he had been glaring at the floor and looked at you in confusion, “For what?”
You didn’t want to talk about it but knew you had to since you owed him that much, “For what he said. About you. You have to know - that isn’t - I would never…” Chan made a furious noise at the back of his throat.
“Don’t apologise for that asshole! You have nothing to feel guilty about - how long have we known each other? I know you. You have a kind and beautiful soul. God, when he said those things about you, about your body - I thought I was going to have to bury a corpse. You don’t go near him again, got it?”
You didn’t respond, looking down at your hands until you felt him remove your cup.
“Hey. Don’t cry, I’m here now - you’re safe.” You hadn’t even registered the icy droplets running down your cheeks. He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes, “How are you feeling? Are you sober?”
You numbly nodded your head and stated in a small voice, “I can’t feel anything except the cold - I can’t warm up.”
“Here, move up.” He slipped into the bed and tugged you down, coaxing you into turning on your side and wrapping his arms around you - effectively spooning you. Your breath hitched in your throat as you finally felt a spark of heat run up your back. Turns out, you needed to feel safe in order to heat up. But it was still not enough. Chan felt you shiver and pulled you closer, not an inch of space between you. He then started talking in order to distract you.
“Are you still a horror fanatic?”
“What?”
“I remember you and Lily being obsessed with those god-awful movies about possession and zombies - remember thinking, how could these munchkins enjoy that stuff? But then, your true colours revealed themselves and I was more terrified of you two, to be honest.”
You chuckled weakly along with him and bit back, “Hey, it’s not my fault you were scared of your own shadow - you made it way too easy to get back at you for all the times you’d bully us.” He shifted behind you with a sound of incredulity, “Excuse me, how was I able to be the bully when two annoying girls were ganging up on me all the time. If anything, I’m the victim here.” He giggled, hugging you tighter instinctively and you bit back a gasp. His face was now buried in your neck and you suddenly lost the ability to breathe.
“Do you ever talk to Lily?” He murmured against your skin.
Sighing, you felt yourself grow sad again. “No… I let us drift at uni, didn’t make enough effort with all the shit I had going on. I feel so guilty, she must hate -” He cut you off, turning you to face him.
“Hey. No, she doesn’t. I know my sister and she has a tendency to get swept up in her own life, she is just as much to blame and she’ll come around if you reach out. Besides, no one could ever hate you.”
He stared into your eyes for a couple seconds and you felt yourself heat up some more. But it was still not enough. The frost would dissipate for a few moments and then insidiously pull you back in again. At this point, you didn’t know what to do and he must have recognised the insecurity in your eyes because he gently brushed your hair away from your face.
“Y/n…” he breathed. “What’s up?”
Your lip trembled.
“I’m so cold.”
“Still?”
The frustration pulled at his features as his mind raced. He entwined his legs with yours and stroked your hair and then… And then he softly pressed his full lips against your forehead, lingering. The warmth trickled from that point all the way to your toes and you let out a relieved sigh. He took note and rested his forehead against yours - the calm gradually stretched until it twisted into something else, something heavy. It built until he tilted your face up slowly but instead of stopping there, he searched your eyes carefully and found whatever he was looking for because his own widened and you felt his heart race as he pressed his nose against yours.
You felt dizzy but this was the boost of emotion you were chasing so you closed the distance and brushed your lips against his. It wasn’t fireworks, not by a long shot. It was the comfort you needed which was a million times better. You moved slowly in tandem, experimentally angling your heads and applying different degrees of pressure - when you accepted his silky tongue he melted into your mouth, hand moving down to your hip.
You couldn’t believe this was happening - kissing Channie after all these years was never on the agenda. You were so lost in your head that when he made a strangled noise and pulled back, staring at you in a panic, you were thoroughly confused. Did you do something wrong? Were you a bad kisser?
“You’re not wearing any underwear!”
Oh. Right. Fuck.
You looked down quickly, realising he had been stroking your naked hip under the shirt. Where his fingers trailed, a line of fire was left in their wake - the desire was clogging your throat. Not enough. He made to disentangle himself but you weren’t about to let that happen so you pulled him back, swinging your leg over his hip, grinding up against his clothed erection. You both keened hard into each other’s mouths, caught up in the situation. The frosty darkness had started to seep from you entirely and you felt the knot unravel in your chest but all of a sudden, Chan pulled back, panic flitting across his face again. His chest was heaving in exertion and something else, you weren’t sure what.
“We can’t… we can’t do this.”
“Why!” Your outburst shocked the both of you but you didn’t care. Anything to feel. Anything to get rid of the gnawing ache of fear inside of you.
“Please, Chan, please, I need this. I need to feel warm, I need to feel safe, I need to get rid of this pain, I can’t….” You didn’t even notice the tears running down your face in absolute devastation. He quickly moved back in and cupped your face, whispering, “Hey, sshh, sweetheart, you’re okay. You’re okay. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
You quietened down, soft whimpers falling from your lips as he gently pushed you onto your back and caged you in. He lifted up to rip his shirt off and then leaned back over you, bringing his lips down to yours. When you tried to remove yours too, however, he grabbed your wrists to stop you.
“If we’re doing this, we’re doing this my way.” Never breaking eye contact, he parted your legs and settled between them. He brushed your hair to the side and when he started to softly suck a mark into your neck, his hips started rolling. And rolling. And rolling.
“Fuck, Channie!”
You were in agony. There was so much, almost too much. His strong arms kept you close, the heat from his shining chest washing over you - you were separated by the thin layer of his cotton shorts but nothing could prevent you from feeling his enormous, leaking member grinding against your pulsing clit. You begged to remove your shirt but he wouldn’t let you, hands staying over the material - he didn’t even caress your breasts. You couldn’t worry about it though, not when he was giving it to you so good.
“I-I think I’m gonna cum,” you panted against his skin to which he groaned a response.
“Yeah? You gonna cum for me, baby?” He started sucking harsher marks onto your collar bones, speeding up his movements.
“Cum for me, sweetheart.”
The orgasm ripped through you - it was unlike anything you had ever felt before, the fire spread over you, burning everything in its wake.
You were finally safe.
When he was sure you had come down from your high, he lifted his head, looking at you. Simply looking at you with blown pupils and you had no idea what he was thinking but, at that moment, you didn’t mind. He kissed you sweetly and rolled off you, spooning you again. Before you drifted off, you heard a faint murmur into your hair.
“Good night, baby girl.”
The sun was high in the sky when you woke up. When you woke up alone in a hotel room, to be exact. You tried to rack your brain in your sleepy state and it took you a few moments but boy, did it pay off when the memories came rushing back. Chan had brought you here. Chan had brought you here and you’d had dry sex. But wait… You sat up swiftly. Where did he go? Did he not enjoy it? You remembered your mindblowing orgasm but couldn’t remember his. Oh god. You had embarrassed yourself. You had begged him to fuck you and he hadn’t even enjoyed it. You had taken advantage of him in your desperate state and it was a pity fuck. Quite frankly, you wanted to disappear. As you turned around to bury yourself into the pillow, two foreign items on the bedside table caught your eye - a coffee cup and a paper bag. There was no note. Good old Chan, despite thinking you were pathetic, he still took care of you. You grabbed your phone off the table, checking for messages but none were from him. What was interesting was the notification you received about a concert that night - a certain Stray Kids concert you would be attending as a VIP. You sucked in a deep breath and then let out a huge..
“FUCK!”
“What’s he staring at?”
“I don’t think it’s a what, I think it’s a who.”
“I can hear you.”
Chan turned around from where he had been standing backstage and the two who had been observing him, Hyunjin and Jisung, took the opportunity to sneak around him. They craned their necks as they located the object of his scrutiny. The smaller crowd had walked in to see their soundcheck and so it was easy to spot you.
“Ahhhh is that the girl you raced to help last night, Ch-rizz-topher?”
“Ooh I can see why, she’s hot!”
“Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin.” Chan rubbed his temple and stared at you again, brows furrowing as he noticed a young guy lead you to your seat, hand on your lower back. He couldn’t blame him though - you looked amazing. You were wearing a tight contraption,your skin colour with red outlines tucked into black jeans, and a black leather jacket thrown over. The corset gave the impression that your torso was bare with blazing streaks across your body and he visibly twitched. Why did you have to wear that? The guilt was eating away at him already.
“What are you guys staring at?” Minho and Changbin had just joined the fray.
“Chan-hyung’s girl!”
Minho moved closer, “The girl from last night? She’s hot.”
Changbin eagerly nodded along and Chan could feel his blood pressure rising.
“Guys, she is not my girl. Simply Lily’s friend who needed help.”
“Hey Seungmin! Check out Chan-hyung’s hot girlfriend who happens to be Lily’s friend!”
“Jesus Christ, Jeongin!”
Chan had had enough. He couldn’t have this distracting them right now. They were about to go onstage in a city near his home and they needed to focus. He decided it would be best for everyone if he ignored you so, squaring his shoulders, he said something that he thought would end the discussion.
“She’s like a sister to me.”
“So you mean she’s available? OW, WHAT THE FU-”
You were right. You had embarrassed yourself last night. There were a number of factors that led up to this conclusion. Firstly, he hadn’t texted you since the incident. You chalked it up to his schedule but you were slightly hurt by the notion that he didn’t want to check up on you. Despite your mortification, you had dressed up really nicely - you weren’t sure why as you would not let it get to you. He was just busy. But now, as he walked down the stage, right past you, he kept his eyes carefully trained away from you. You knew he was aware of you, it was obvious by the way his jaw was clenched. You sighed inwardly - this was awful. Would you get the chance to apologise or would he shut you out completely? At this thought, your throat closed up but you were getting ahead of yourself. One step at a time.
The concert was incredible. You had never had so much fun in your life despite feeling the underlying stress of the situation. The boys were so talented and gorgeous. You admired Chan and even though you knew you shouldn’t, the events of the previous night flitted through your mind. When he hugged Minho tightly from behind, you felt his arms around you too - soothing you to sleep. When he brushed the hair from Felix’s eyes, you felt his featherlight touch as he dried your tears. When he lifted his shirt you were reminded of the smooth, hard muscles rippling under your fingertips as he brought you to your demise; and when he turned around, you remembered the firmness of that ass, clenching in your grip. Fuck - this was not happening. You were not growing feelings for him, were you? He had simply helped you out platonically and the way he was ignoring you proved that. But you found yourself questioning everything when he pulled his tight pants lower surreptitiously, showing his happy trail and briefs. You saw him look at other girls and your heart dropped - his dimple was on full display for everyone but you… You were shaken from your maudlin thoughts, however, when the other members drew your attention. They seemed to have taken quite a shine to you, completing hearts and throwing big smiles your way. It didn’t seem like a coincidence by the way that Chan visibly tensed up and pulled Hyunjin away from your side of the stage or smacked Changbin over the head when he sat down and stared at you during a speech. How much did they know? They were quite obviously getting a rise out of him and you were kind of enjoying it immensely. You were about to give up hope completely until something finally happened. It was during Red Lights. Chan was directly in front of you when he was doing his floor work and when he lifted himself up somewhat, his eyes locked with yours. You felt the air escape your lungs. The way his revealing jacket gleamed in the red spotlight, making his firm chest glow; the way the sweat trailed down his neck; the way his pretty pink mouth parted. All that made you dizzy but what had you wet was his stare. His stare. The way his dark eyes drove into you, the way his brows furrowed in consternation. You couldn’t decipher what he was feeling but you needed him. You hoped he craved you too. You were royally screwed.
The members were backstage while the audience was watching a video, getting ready for the final number. Minho saw Chan nervously darting his eyes to the wall, as if he had suddenly received the gift of X-ray vision. Chuckling lightly, he rested his chin on his shoulder and proceeded to play the part of the devil.
“How you doing?”
“Fine.”
“She’s alone here, right?”
“Yeah. Wait, I mean, I think so?”
“She staying at the hotel again?”
“How did you know where she stayed?” Chan turned to him in confusion. Minho merely smirked which annoyed him further and he turned back around, moving to catch a glimpse of you. His second in command zeroed in again.
“So? She coming with us?”
“No.” Chan grit his teeth, wanting nothing more to do with the situation. Nothing more to do with you.
“But… how will she get home? You can’t expect her to wait outside, in the cold, in the dark, alone, for a random taxi?”
Chan faltered at that. What kind of person would he be if he left you alone without checking up on you? He thought back to how small, vulnerable, scared you looked sitting on that couch and his heart clenched, the anger stirred. He still had your room since he didn’t know how much time you needed to rest so what was stopping him? He didn’t want to think about the answer to that question.
“Fine.” We probably have something to discuss anyway.
You were singing along with the final number when you heard a voice in your ear, shocking the bejeezus out of you. You turned around to find the young, attractive usher from earlier hovering - he beckoned you closer and told you to meet him by the side door as soon as the audience started filing out. You tentatively agreed, knowing what this meant and wondering what the fuck you were going to say when you were face to face with the man you simultaneously wanted to kick and kiss. As you turned back to the stage you caught him quickly turning his gaze away from the two of you - did you perhaps affect him in the same way? No, surely not. He was probably just annoyed at his protective instincts - that’s what landed you in this mess in the first place.
You realised you had zoned out because when you came to, most were cheering and moving around to leave. This was your cue. You moved to the door behind you and loitered a bit until the staff member came to get you. His name was James and he really was very nice but you couldn’t reciprocate his flirting - not when you were about to meet him. He led you through the corridor all the way to the back of the building and knocked on the door of the green room. You felt a warm sensation on your lower back and noticed his hand resting there - before you could ask him to remove it the door opened, revealing a wet-haired Changbin in fresh clothes. He opened the door with a wide smile and stepped back to let you in. You looked beyond him and saw Chan staring daggers at the man behind you who dropped his hand reluctantly. You thanked him gently and walked in.
You knew this was a mistake the moment you did because Chan went back to ignoring you, making you feel very out of place. The room was big, couches settled against the walls and make-up stations set up in the middle but, because of the absolute rejection, you felt the walls squeeze you in from all sides. Your heart stuttered and you started to instinctively move back. This was worse than you thought. How would you two ever be able to go back to normal? You wanted to be alone to mourn your childhood but, just as you were about to make your excuses and leave, a hand guided you to the couch where you were gently pushed down. The man followed you swiftly and sat by your side - it was almost invasive. You turned your head and found yourself staring at the most beautiful pair of lips. Hyunjin. His voice was like molten silk, sliding over your nerves, settling you.
“So what’s your name?”
“Y/n.”
“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”
You heard a scoff from somewhere and straightened up, refusing to appear vulnerable. Minho jumped into your line of sight and towered over you, gripping the couch.
“So. You’re the girl Chan valiantly rescued last night.” He smirked evilly, shooting a look at him who had his back to you, shoulders tensed. He still hadn’t acknowledged you. Minho, undeterred, was on a roll.
“How long have you known each other? Because he was frantic when he got the message from you. You two must be awfully close. Isn’t that right, Chan? I think he’d practically do anything for you.”
You schooled your breathing and answered without thinking, using his childhood nickname, “Well Channie and I -”
“Of course, I would. She’s basically my little sister.”
He didn’t look at you as he cut you off and you fought to swallow down the bile comprised of hurt, shame, anger. You knew he was in the right since you forced him into what had happened but you couldn’t help it. You needed to be wanted, you needed to be seen as a woman so you decided to fight fire with fire and focus on the members instead. You let a mask slide across your features.
Leaning back, you smiled demurely up at Minho, saying nothing in return. You took in the other boys - they were all so striking, so unique. Jeongin was staring at you shyly, Seungmin was maintaining nonchalant eye contact and Jisung was adjusting his belt. Good god. Felix had made himself comfy on the other side of you and thrown his arm around your shoulders, murmuring into your ear with his deep voice.
“If I may be so bold, I love your outfit. The red really pops against your smooth skin.” At this point, your face had started to match said colour. What were they playing at? You couldn’t say you weren’t relishing in it, however, as your inner brat was trying to rear its ugly head.
You crossed your legs and pushed your chest out slightly, noticing that Chan had now turned around and was staring balefully at the others. You couldn’t help but stare at him, his annoyance rolling off him in waves. The way the black tank hugged his torso as he crossed his arms really had you pulsing.
“Thanks, I am feeling a tad warm right now though so I might take off this jacket - could someone help me?”
Changbin appeared out of nowhere, pulling you upright and helping you out of it. You practically purred out a thanks and pretended not to notice how Chan’s scowl had deepened dramatically. The boys raked their eyes unabashedly over your body and when you turned you heard an appreciative gasp. You felt someone’s fingers trail over your shoulder and realised what they had seen.
“Your tattoo... So fragile, so delicate, so dark.” You realised it was Hyunjin and shivered when he brushed your hair to the side, seeing that it flowed up the back of your neck. It wasn’t a big tattoo by any means but you looked over your shoulder and caught Chan staring at it, eyes wide. You felt a quiet sense of satisfaction which was masking your lingering hurt so, clinging onto it, you gave Hyunjin a cheeky smile and reached out to touch his new piercing, eyes locked on his. His hair was shorter, shimmering maroon and his shirt was showcasing his collarbones. He was beautiful. He seemed just as entranced by you so he leaned in.
“Are you single then?”
“All right, Jesus! Stop acting like horny teenagers - she’s here because we’re helping her, what use is that when you’re harassing her? Y/n, put your damn jacket on - I can see the goosebumps from here.”
Chan started aggressively gathering his things, muttering under his breath. Hyunjin’s eyes gleamed at you and it all fell into place. They were all baiting him…and it had worked. As everyone got their bags, you moved to slip past them to the door.
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
Chan was grimacing at you, arms crossed.
“You guys are getting ready to leave? Didn’t want to be in the way. Have a safe flight and well done for the great concert.” He was being an absolute prick and you realised that a written message three years from now would be sufficient. But as you started to open the door, a strong hand kept it closed, an arm effectively caging you in. You turned your head slightly and was met by his hard stare. Fuck me. You quickly looked behind you to see all the boys simultaneously turn and stare at a particularly ugly painting.
“I like the…brush strokes.”
“Yes, the mustard yellow is quite…prominent.”
Chan lowered his voice, “You’re here because the hotel room is still available and we don’t want you going home alone. Please… just go there.”
You grit your teeth and tried to tug at the door but his hand wrapped securely around yours and held you still. He leaned in, face unreadable, “What’s going on with you? I’m getting worried.” Your heart clenched painfully and you schooled your expression.
“Oh, don’t worry about me big bro - I’ll be fine.” He flinched and you cast your eyes down, feeling slightly guilty. You sighed, adding, “But I’ll take you up on your offer as I’m too fucking tired to find an uber in this madness.”
Everyone was quick to gather their things and when it came time to leave, you received your instructions.
“We will head out first, draw the crowd in and so forth. Once we’re on the road, you’ll follow us in a company car. You have your room key card?”
You nodded mutely and stared at the ground - so he wasn’t going to talk to you later. The disappointment and relief twirled into a glutinous mess and you felt sick. Someone approached you with a black cap and face mask, and you looked up to see Hyunjin in front of you. He gave you a gentle smile and silently asked if he could apply them. You nodded again and he slowly slid your mask into place, fingers trailing across your cheekbones. A hiss came out of nowhere and suddenly a new person had taken over. From behind you, Chan ran his fingers through your hair - you had seen him approach you but even if you hadn’t, you would recognise those fingers anywhere. The way they raked across your scalp had you seeing stars, the sensation threw you back to the bed where this had all started. You thought you might be imagining it but you could feel his heart race through his shirt and you shivered. After he had balled your hair up, under the cap, you were ready. He stepped back and avoided your gaze. You noticed Jisung clutching his chest, expression cooing and Jeonging blushing in the back. You rolled your eyes and watched the members move towards the van. Just as you started contemplating making a run for it, a harsh voice whispered in your ear.
“Don’t you dare think about it. Stop being a brat and go to the hotel.”
“Come on, Channie! The car is waiting!” Minho cackled and Chan jogged on, scowling the whole way.
Once in the car, Chan’s mind raced. He felt like absolute scum. He had hurt you. He had hurt you the night before and it was evident in the way you interacted with him. He knew he was being standoffish but he was scared to look you in the eyes because everytime he did he was reminded of the tears glistening there as you begged him to fuck you. He didn’t even know he had a crying kink until you outright sobbed, clutched onto his shirt and stared beseechingly into his eyes. God, he had never been so hard in his life. He had let himself get swept up and now he was paying the price. He had acted like a frat boy and taken advantage of you in your vulnerable state. You. You, who knew who he really was, who had grown up with him - he was supposed to protect you, you fucking trusted him. He’d let one of the most important people to him down and he couldn’t bear to face you. He’d seen the hurt etched across your features while he was onstage and, like the coward he was, he ignored it. Like the coward he was, he had slipped out of your bed and fled. Like the coward he was, he didn’t message you, no matter how much he wanted to. And like a pervert…he had gotten himself off in the shower as soon as he could. How could he not when he noticed the patch of arousal you had left on his boxers? You probably hated him and he couldn’t face it. He instinctively gripped his seat as he remembered how you looked in the changing room. His heart had stuttered seeing you up close, your hair tousled, your eyes shining as you looked at the other members. He thought about that tattoo, when had you gotten that? It might quite possibly have been the sexiest thing he had ever seen. It reminded him of how you’d grown up without him, how you had bloomed into this gorgeous creature, how you were different yet not. He wanted to trace his fingers over it or better yet, his tongue but Hyunjin had beaten him to it and Chan had to hold himself back from strangling him. He didn’t know how you felt about him, he wasn’t supposed to want you but he couldn’t help it. When did he start liking you in this way? Did you like Hyunjin? The jealousy had flooded him when you touched his piercing with a smile. You had smiled at him like that when you were in his arms. Right before you cried and begged him to fuck you. Fuck. He was an absolute fucking mess.
He had to apologise to you, he had to make this right.
When you opened the door to your room, you froze. There, sitting in the same armchair as the night before, was Chan. He was staring hard at the carpet, saying nothing. After a while you slowly closed the door and shifted from one foot to the other, not sure what to do next - you didn’t particularly want to sit on that bed in front of him.
“Are you just going to stand there?”
His face was impassive as he looked at you, it made your heart hammer in your chest. He was angry at you - you wanted to melt into the carpet but knew it was better this way. You wanted him to just get it over with - yell at you and then leave. You didn’t deserve anything less. So, mustering up your courage, you made your way to the bed and perched on the side of the mattress closest to him. His eyes were dark and you forced yourself to maintain eye contact - he was really angry. Your lip trembled as you realised there was no going back for the two of you. This was the end of everything.
“Y/n. I need to say something to you - fuck.”
He hissed the last word as he noticed your eyes glinting. Scrambling out of the chair, he moved to the massive windows, back to you.
“Please stop crying,” he gritted out.
Embarrassed at how pathetic you must look to him, you hastily wiped your cheeks and stood up, moving towards him. When you placed a hand on his arm (you had to apologise to his face) he jerked away as though electrocuted, muttering, “I can’t do this.”
You turned away in defeat and made your way to the shower, thinking you would make it easier for him to leave. You found his pyjamas on the sink and choked back a sob, why was this so hard?
After scrubbing your skin for fifteen minutes, you ventured out. You wanted to curl up into a ball and berate yourself further for jumping the man who’d always been there for you in one way or another but you came face to face with Chan again. He hadn’t left, he was sprawled in the chair again. Why won’t he just leave? I would much rather send him a fruit basket than do this. You steeled your shoulders, opened your mouth, but before you could say something he cut in.
“I’m sorry.”
What?
He repeated it and looked you dead in the eye. It confused you so much that you stood there, gaping like a fish for a good few seconds. When you were finally able to get words out, your voice sounded shrill.
“Chan… what are you apologising for? I’m the one who should be doing that.”
His brow furrowed and he tilted his head questioningly.
You stepped forward slowly, it was now or never.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for last night - I forced myself on you. I begged you to sleep with me and you gave in. I assaulted you. I’m so fucking sorry!”
Now it was his turn to gape - he felt even worse than before.
“Is that the impression I gave you? That I didn’t want it?”
“You were hardly touching me, wouldn’t take my shirt off and you didn’t come!”
“That’s because I was forcing myself to stay calm and not lose control! You have no idea how incredible you looked under me, how fucking much I wanted to ruin you. I am so sorry. Even though I tried to restrain myself somewhat, I violated your trust in me. You were coming down from cocaine for god’s sake and I took advantage of you. I don’t even deserve to be alone with you right now.”
“No.”
You started to panic, hands shaking and breaths shallow. You couldn’t believe he was trying to do this again. To protect you and make you feel better about you assaulting him. Typical Chan. You’d had enough. Angry tears pooling in your eyes, you strode forward until you were standing right in front of him.
“You don’t get to do this. Not again! I fucking attacked you and now you’re trying to make me feel better? Chan, stop hiding your feelings - I know you’re resenting me right now and I need you to be honest. You’ve been ignoring me all evening, acting aggressive when I approach you. Saying you ‘can’t do this’ a moment ago. Stop being so nice!”
He had stood up by this point, towering over you.
“Being nice? I’m being nice? Do you want to know what I actually meant when I said I can’t do this?” There was no trace of empathy on his face and it made you nervous. Were you wrong? He continued on, moving even closer.
“You had just started crying and it turned me on. It fucking turned me on. Apparently I’m into that. If I didn’t shake you off, I would have taken you against the window for everyone to see. I’m disgusting.”
Your breath caught in your throat. God, you wanted him. He was about to move away in shame when you caught his wrist. He studied you carefully and noticed your dilated pupils, mouth parted and cheeks flushed. You loved his confession and it twisted something in his chest. He wrapped a hand around your hair and lifted your face up, admiring the silvery sheen of tears glistening on your cheeks. He groaned and with his free hand, wiped them away with his thumb. When he slid it into his mouth and sucked at the salty residue, you felt your guilt wash away. He wasn’t joking. And you were going to lose it.
Gripping the back of your neck, he bent down to lightly brush his lips against yours but you both stopped before sealing the deal. His eyes danced.
“Tell me to stop.”
“No.”
You mirrored his words, “Tell me to stop.”
His reply came fast and breathless.
“Never.”
The kiss was immediate, it was forceful with teeth clashing and lip biting.
He pushed you onto the bed and, this time, ripped your shirt off.
“As much as I love seeing you in my clothes, I just need to fucking check something.” He turned you onto your front and roughly brushed your hair out the way, stilling for a moment as he took in the sight. Your painted shoulder was glorious.
“When did you even get this?”
“Back in uni, six shots of tequila helped me gain the confidence to share my design with an artist.”
“So you’re saying, I leave you for a couple of years and you go wild? Shit, I’ll have to keep my eye on you in case you come back with a nose ring.” You felt his arousal through his shorts and smirked to yourself.
He bent his head down and finally got to slide his tongue slowly over the clean lines, causing you to shudder and arch your back. He licked up your shoulder, to your neck where he bit down. Hard. It had you bucking in his grasp and he sternly pushed your hips down.
“Oh baby - settle down unless you don’t want to come. At all.”
Your eyes rolled back into your head and you quietened down, panting in anticipation.
“Good girl.”
Fuck. When did he get so authoritative? He gripped your hair and bruised your mouth with his, licking into you. The pace was rough and you suddenly became aware of how gentle he had been with you when you needed him the previous night. He had gone at your pace, fluttered his fingers over you and made sure not to make you uncomfortable. You smiled into the kiss as you truly realised that he wasn’t reluctant, he was respectful - he was treasuring you. You were both idiots. He quirked a brow, feeling your smile and pulled away.
“What’s on your mind, baby girl?”
“Channie, you could never hurt me - not even if you tried.”
He understood your meaning, giggling shyly (how?), but decided to take your words literally.
“You sure about that?”
He bit the shell of your ear sharply and your eyes darkened in response. Now was not the time for sentimentalities. Ripping his shirt off, he flipped you over and nestled between your legs - his eyes trailed down and his lips quirked.
“You didn’t learn the last time?”
“I have a thing against wearing dirty undies after a shower.”
“Who are you?” His face tightened in thought and you needed to bring him back.
You cupped his face, “Chan, I need you to understand that I’m not the girl from your memories anymore. I’ve grown up - which you can clearly see - so please, don’t be gentle and don’t regret this. I want you and I realise I’ve kind of always wanted you - you were just either too thick to see it or you didn’t want to. I’ve grown up, I’ve dated and I still want you. Tell me you want this and then stop worrying about hurting me, if you’ll have me - I’m all yours. At least for tonight.” You swallowed thickly with nerves and waited for his response - would he finally see a beautiful, worldly woman (like the ones he must hang out with) or would he not be able to get past his impression of you, his little sister’s friend. You hoped it was the first. He took a few moments and you thought you might just cry which you did not want to happen as it would, apparently, just persuade him to fuck you.
He sucked in his bottom lip with a sigh and stared up at you from below his lashes. His warm brown eyes narrowed in something akin to concern. He opened his mouth and then thought better of it, leaning down to place a warm kiss against your forehead. You shuddered and waited, heart sinking.
“Y/n. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to separate you from the girl I knew when I was little. In fact, I don’t want to.” Your shoulders tensed and you waited for the inevitable rejection. What an unfortunate position to be doing this in.
“When I saw you on that couch yesterday, scared and so alone, an image of you crying in the rain hit me. I don’t know if you remember but you were sixteen - your parents had had a fight and gone to bed, forgetting to unlock the front door for you. I pulled you to your feet and cuddled you on Lily’s bed while we waited for her to get home. Anyways, you looked exactly the same, lost and feeling abandoned. I wanted to gather you in my arms again, I needed to protect you again. You mean so much to me and I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else. Just be Y/n, the annoying neighbour who I had a massive crush on before I left. Why do you think I kept in touch all these years? I needed some semblance of normalcy, I needed the comfort of home. I needed you. And I still do. So, stay with me as you. Yourself. Be mine.”
You let out a relieved laugh and he cradled your face again, whispering,“But you gotta stop doing this, darling, as you’ll send me to an early grave and you wouldn’t want to disappoint my fans now, would you?”
He was kissing a stray tear away and you decided you would indeed try your best to shed a few everyday if it meant getting this treatment.
Suddenly, you felt his breathing grow ragged as he looked you over.
“Now call me Channie again and let me have you.”
You bit back a whimper as he lowered his mouth to your neck and then, realising you were stark naked under him, you tugged at his waistband. He broke away for a second to rip both layers off and then captured your lips with his. It was a slow, deep kiss this time - as though you were savouring this pivotal moment together. His hands softly entwined in your hair again and yours slid leisurely over his back, running your nails over the tight planes of flesh. He hissed and you felt woozy, arousal dripping from your core. He slid his cock through your folds gently and held eye contact - it was almost too intense for you so you turned your face away, only for him to grip your chin and bring you back.
“Look at me. Please.”
You blinked and nodded dumbly, watching as he slid his fingers down to your begging hole. You were sopping, ready, and he knew this but a cheeky smile flashed across his features and you narrowed your eyes at him as he slowly made his way down your body. He trailed his tongue across your collarbones, flicked your nipples, grazed his teeth along your ribs and when he reached your pelvis he bit down on your hip. All while maintaining eye contact. You yelped and jerked your hips up from the bed but he easily draped a muscular arm across your torso, glaring at you.
“What did I say about moving?”
“Sorry…” you murmured, head in the clouds. You felt him chuckle, breath ghosting over your pussy. He hummed quietly and kissed your folds. It felt so good that you knew you’d be begging for more later. When his tongue swept over your slit you keened loudly, forcing yourself to stay still. He sucked your bud in between his plush lips and you felt your waterline pleading to release. No, this is too soon! You tried to keep your impending orgasm at bay but it was as though he knew all the right spots on you so as soon as his tongue slid inside you and lapped at your walls you lost it, thighs locking around his head and mouth open in a silent scream.
You felt him nip at your thigh and position himself over you, waiting for you to return to him. You lazily smiled at him, combing a hand through his messy locks and he kissed you all over your face, making you push at him.
“Tell me to stop before I make you scream.”
You widened your eyes as his confidence swept back at full force and choked out, “No.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He gripped your hip with one hand and sheathed himself in you, apparently deciding he couldn’t hold back anymore. And scream, you did.
“Fuck, Channie!”
He said nothing, starting off at a punishing pace and you felt the breath leave your lungs. You held onto his biceps, honestly trying not to pass out. You realised he adored edging you because the heat in your belly would build up at the abuse you endured by his thick cock slamming into your walls but, at the last minute, he would feel you clenching and change the pace. It was frustrating the hell out of you and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He had monumentally slowed down his pace when he started talking.
“How are you still so tight, baby girl? I’m so deep inside you and your wet cunt is still trying to suck me in. Fuck. Is this good for you? Do you like it when I take you like this?”
You let out an embarrassing noise, too fucked out to speak. At this, he slowed down even more.
“What was that? Speak to me - what do you want?” His face hovered over yours, smirking devilishly at you. God, you hated this man. You tried your best to glare at him and pulled your lips firmly shut, two could play at this game. He stopped completely and gripped your face hard, pushing his thumb into your mouth - you felt your eyes roll back as you instinctively clenched around him.
“Stop being a fucking brat, Y/n, and tell me what you want. Beg for it or I’ll make you cry.” He clearly was not going to move and your pussy ached so much as you had been going for quite a while. You realised that if you were going to sleep with him again, you would need to learn to hold your own but it wouldn’t be tonight. He heard a sound around his thumb and pulled it out.
“Hmm? What was that, sweetheart?”
“Cum. I need to cum. Now.” Your voice broke around the last word and he sucked in a breath, eyes darkened to black. He rose up on his knees and folded your legs up against his chest. You had thought it would be impossible but he was even deeper than before.
“If I see even one more tear, I’m going to stop.”
He started up his brutal pace, watching your face contort in the most delightful way. Your eyes took him in as much as you could - the furrow between his brow, his mouth hanging open, sweat trickling down his neck and shoulders. The way his arms bunched around your legs and the way he was breathing was coaxing you to the edge - when he started to feel you contract he licked his thumb and swiftly brought it down onto your clit. It sent you hurtling to your destruction, taking him with you.
Later, whilst facing each other on the bed, arms and legs tangled, you searched his eyes. The sparkle was there, no hint of regret in sight. You felt a surge of relief until you heard his next words.
“The sun’s not out yet and we are far from finished.”
Fuck.
Your body was sore. Really sore. It felt as though he had split you in two, you shuddered at all the positions you had tried (successfully). But you had been over-ambitious and now you were paying the price. Opening a weary eye, you looked around. It was morning, the sun was gently washing in from behind the light curtains…and there was nothing blocking it. Chan wasn’t there, Chan was gone. You struggled to sit up but managed to slouch against the headboard. Was something wrong? Had you fucked up again? You got nervous - when he said “be mine” did he mean “just for tonight?”. You racked your brain, trying to remember what time his flight was but the sound of your discarded phone ringing had you scrambling to reach for it. When you looked at the caller ID, the air returned to you.
“Channie?”
A warm chuckle met you and you sighed in happiness - until you realised he had destroyed you physically and ran. Was he already at the airport?
“Where are you?”
“I’m at a cafe, getting us some breakfast. In fact, I’m currently fighting over a Pain au Chocolat since I remember you liking those.”
“ …oh.”
“Baby, did you think I’d left you again?” You imagined him softly smiling into the phone and you mirrored his action as you heard his next words.
Synopsis: Caught in a stressful situation, you do the only thing you can think of - texting your friend's older brother, Chan. However, was that really the better option?
General Warnings: Smut (specifics under the cut), unwilling drug use and comedown, swearing
Word count: 10.5k
Strayerthings Masterlist
a/n: Hey readers! Long time no see - hope your holidays were fantastic. As promised, I'm releasing this in January. Please let me know your thoughts and don't forget to reblog! There is a sensitive scene filled with macho bullshit at the start but it doesn't last long. I must say, writing for Chan is always such a ride. Anyways, enjoy! 🖤🌻
“Look at Y/n for example, she’s hot but also a gaming nerd obsessed with Kpop so she hardly gets any. We should be going after girls like that since they’re not the sluts showing their tits on OnlyFans.”
You slid further into the couch, trying to make yourself look small. Your mind was a haze and you could hardly stand up for yourself like you normally would. Your colleague was making the most ridiculous, sexist statements that screamed ‘Andrew Tate’ but all you could do was try and hide your shaking nerves. It had gotten so bad that your teeth were chattering. Jack had always been nice to you and you thought he was a solid guy but a different side was brought out when he revealed the party favours. You had accepted the invitation to his house warming without worrying about what the night would hold - your plan was to show up, act impressed at the large space, have one drink and then bounce. It couldn’t have been further from the truth because now you were sitting in a room with around six people, coming down from the coke they had pressured you into taking (you were too inebriated to say no) and he was spouting all this bullshit about how women were always out to get each other and kissing you all over your face. The more invasive he got about your body, your sex life and the inferiority of women, the more you froze up. You had never felt so unsafe before so you stumbled to the bathroom, trying to think fast - who could you message to come get you? It was 3 am in the city and most people were either too drunk or asleep. Who could you count on to always answer the phone? Who would you feel safe with whilst coming down? The questions were racing through your brain and you were about to give up when a name hit you square in the face. He was here. You thought hard about this - he had arrived the previous day and you hadn’t seen him in years. Would you really want your friend’s older brother seeing you high? Yes, you had kept in touch over the years - he had even gotten you a VIP ticket at a discount price - but this was too much. Suddenly, a knocking startled you out of your reverie.
“Y/n?”
It was Jack.
“What are you doing in there? Do another line with us because you’re looking way too sober, you can stay over!”
Oh fuck no.
You texted Chan.
You didn’t know how much time had passed - perched miserably on the couch, staring into space when a banging was heard over the music. The others looked at each other warily and a girl proceeded to open the door, widening her eyes. In strode a medium-length broad-chested man wearing a tight black t-shirt, ripped jeans and a black cap pulled low over his face. His silver earring glinted in the soft lighting. He tipped his head at her slightly and then lifted his head, serious eyes searching for something. When they landed on you, his jaw clenched. Hard. You struggled to focus but you were pretty sure you looked wrecked. Crossing the room, he knelt down at your side, glaring at the guy next to you who shifted further away.
“Y/n.”
“Channie,” you breathed out, relief etched across your features.
He cupped your cheek softly and sucked in a breath, finally taking note of the situation. When he saw the white lines of powder on the mirror in the middle of the table, his head whipped back to you with a questioning frown - you could only nod in response, too ashamed to admit to it verbally. His frown deepened and you instinctively cowered back in response - why did you think it was a good idea to text him? But, as if he knew what you were thinking, he grabbed your hand and rubbed soothing circles into the back of it, trying his best to school his expression.
“Knew it was too good to be true.”
Why couldn’t he just shut up? Chan shifted himself so that he was facing the rest of the room, scowl deepening with every second.
“What?”
Jack eyed him from where he was pacing, “I said it was too good to be true. Here I was, thinking that Y/n was so innocent - I was actually telling her to go to Korea to hook up before she grows old in order to satisfy her curiosity. With that hair, those tits and face - they would definitely notice her! But I had no idea she had already found herself one. Careful, Y/n, don’t turn into one of those loose bitches.”
There was so much to unpack here and your eyes widened in horror, frustrated tears pooling in your eyes. How dare this asshole speak about a culture like that? All you did was appreciate Kpop, the fact that he had implied it was a fetish for you had your brain spiraling. You didn’t even care about the remarks about your body - he had insinuated that you were sleeping with Chan and that you were only sleeping with him because he was Korean. You didn’t know where to look, humiliated and furious beyond belief. You opened your mouth, about to rip him a new one, but the man next to you had stood up, hands balled lightly into fists and eyes stern.
“Say one more thing to her and I’ll tear your head off.”
You couldn’t look up, too anxious to lift your head but the tone of his voice sent a ripple of fear through you. You could see it mirrored in the others’ faces because they immediately grabbed Jack and whispered in his ear. He casually sat down with a grin.
“I’m just messing around, man, what you do with your free time is not my problem. You sound like you’re from around here - have a line with us, let’s chat. What’s your type?”
Oh, this guy was deranged. Chan turned to you again, trying to meet your eyes in order to assess the damage. When he saw the panic he gently helped you up, pushing past the others with an arm around your shoulders. He silently led you down the stairs and while you waited for an uber, he held you close. You shook in his warmth, his strong arms encircling you - you were too embarrassed to look at him and he knew this so he whispered soothing words into your ear. He helped you into the car and when the driver set off, he started to talk.
“You all right?”
You studiously avoided him and he gently touched your hand, waiting a while before trying again.
“Y/n, look at me.”
You sighed and looked at him from the corner of your eye. He noticed something outside the window and straightened up.
“We can talk inside.”
Inside? You saw that you were entering an underground carpark of a hotel and turned to face him fully with an eyebrow cocked.
“You can’t honestly believe I would drop you off at your place after all that’s happened, right? Especially in this condition…” His voice had softened and he was back to stroking your hand. You just blinked and turned away again, feeling his hand retract.
When the car stopped, he opened the door for you, guiding you in with a gentle hand on the small of your back. He pulled out a keycard and you were ushered into an elevator. A thought struck you and you forced out a hushed question.
“Chan, we’re not going to your room, are we? What if the others found out?”
“Don’t worry, I booked another room as soon as you texted.”
Oh. You felt something that you couldn’t identify. Why would he do all this for you? Where was the boy who would push you into the pool as kids, who’d lock you out the house when you came over? You studied him surreptitiously - at least, you thought you were discreet. It had been years since you’d last seen him - you had obviously seen photos and videos, being a fan of their music, but nothing compared to the real thing. His shoulders had broadened, his face had become more defined and the look in his eyes had matured. When did his arms turn into those? Even in your beaten down state, you could appreciate this evolution. But you shook your head, you would not think of him like that. You hadn’t really spoken to his sister since you grew apart in first year but it was still slightly odd to find her brother attractive. You’d had a puppy crush on him back then but wasn’t that normal? It didn’t feel normal right now. You felt like a creep and tried not to let your admiration show. He and Lily only had a few years between them and you used to go over there quite often as kids which is why you had exchanged the odd message every couple years or so. He must have seen you as the annoyance of his childhood - especially now. He led you to your room at the end of the corridor, keeping his hand on you. You wished he would let go and just step back.
When you were inside he turned to you.
“Have a seat and I’ll be right back.”
You grabbed his hand as he tried to walk past you, silently asking him not to leave you. He removed his hand carefully and cupped your face, murmuring, “Don’t worry, I’m just getting you some clothes. Take a shower and I’ll be back before you know it.”
You slowly nodded and took a deep breath, watching him leave then you looked around. The room was magnificent. Everything was lit up in a soft, golden glow and the furniture was plush and new. The bed was monstrous and looked like you would sink straight into the mattress. But none of that registered with you - you felt disgusting. A dark cloud of insecurity had settled over you, chilling you to the bone. You had never done that particular drug before but the comedown was bleak. You felt so vulnerable, convinced that no one would be there for you. If Chan hadn’t been in the country, how would this night have ended? The chill had numbed you, made you apathetic - you were upset but couldn’t get the emotion out. You wandered into the bathroom, hoping the heat from the shower would warm you up and get you to feel something.
A soft knock on the door had you startling out of your thought process. Chan’s voice came through, telling you he had left the clothes outside the bathroom. You heard his footsteps retreat back into the room. When had he gotten back? You realised you’d been in the shower for a while, trying to get the heat back into your bones but it hadn’t worked. You felt cold. Cold and alone. You wrapped a towel around your shivering shoulders and cracked the door open, swiping an arm out for the clothing. You pulled on the navy blue t-shirt which was wonderfully baggy and settled on your thighs but the pyjama trousers were way too uncomfortable so you decided to forgo those. You were now faced with a dilemma - do you don your underwear or do you go commando in order to separate yourself from the night’s events? You skipped the panties. The shirt was so long that he wouldn’t notice anyway - at least, you hoped not.
You exited the room, still feeling nothing but the biting cold. Chan was settled on a champagne coloured armchair on the other side of the room, freshly showered and dressed in a black t-shirt and soft, cotton shorts. His dark hair was still damp and he was busy running his hand through it, looking tired. As soon as he saw you he froze, eyes raking down your bare legs. You almost felt a spark. Almost. When he noticed you shudder, he nodded towards the bedside table closest to him where a steaming cup of tea sat. You gingerly walked around the bed to his side and opened the duvet, sliding into the bed and propping yourself up against the headboard as gracefully as possible - your mind was still numb yet full of images, you needed this cloying frost to dissipate.
“Y/n.”
You lifted your mouth from the cup, sighing in defeat as the hot water still did nothing for your nerves. You wanted to scream but the emotion was so deeply embedded into your chest that you couldn’t claw it out.
“Y/n.”
You met his gaze timidly. He was bent over, resting his elbows on his muscular thighs to be closer to you and you took in every detail. Tired but warm eyes, curly hair, prominent nose and a plush mouth. A plush mouth that was pulled down in a concerned grimace. Again, you almost felt something stir.
“How are you feeling?”
You cleared your throat and willed yourself to speak but only a whisper was heard, “Better now, thanks to you.”
He narrowed his eyes but did not refute you.
“What happened tonight?”
“I went to a housewarming party and took drugs, that’s all.” You couldn’t bear to go into details, it was all too raw.
“Did you accept the coke willingly?”
You thought about it, did you consent? To be honest, you couldn’t remember much of how it started.
“Well, I didn’t say no…”
“Were you drunk when they offered you some?”
“Yes.”
“Have you ever taken it before?”
“No.”
“Fuck.”
“I’m sorry..”
Chan snapped his head up from where he had been glaring at the floor and looked at you in confusion, “For what?”
You didn’t want to talk about it but knew you had to since you owed him that much, “For what he said. About you. You have to know - that isn’t - I would never…” Chan made a furious noise at the back of his throat.
“Don’t apologise for that asshole! You have nothing to feel guilty about - how long have we known each other? I know you. You have a kind and beautiful soul. God, when he said those things about you, about your body - I thought I was going to have to bury a corpse. You don’t go near him again, got it?”
You didn’t respond, looking down at your hands until you felt him remove your cup.
“Hey. Don’t cry, I’m here now - you’re safe.” You hadn’t even registered the icy droplets running down your cheeks. He grabbed your hand and looked into your eyes, “How are you feeling? Are you sober?”
You numbly nodded your head and stated in a small voice, “I can’t feel anything except the cold - I can’t warm up.”
“Here, move up.” He slipped into the bed and tugged you down, coaxing you into turning on your side and wrapping his arms around you - effectively spooning you. Your breath hitched in your throat as you finally felt a spark of heat run up your back. Turns out, you needed to feel safe in order to heat up. But it was still not enough. Chan felt you shiver and pulled you closer, not an inch of space between you. He then started talking in order to distract you.
“Are you still a horror fanatic?”
“What?”
“I remember you and Lily being obsessed with those god-awful movies about possession and zombies - remember thinking, how could these munchkins enjoy that stuff? But then, your true colours revealed themselves and I was more terrified of you two, to be honest.”
You chuckled weakly along with him and bit back, “Hey, it’s not my fault you were scared of your own shadow - you made it way too easy to get back at you for all the times you’d bully us.” He shifted behind you with a sound of incredulity, “Excuse me, how was I able to be the bully when two annoying girls were ganging up on me all the time. If anything, I’m the victim here.” He giggled, hugging you tighter instinctively and you bit back a gasp. His face was now buried in your neck and you suddenly lost the ability to breathe.
“Do you ever talk to Lily?” He murmured against your skin.
Sighing, you felt yourself grow sad again. “No… I let us drift at uni, didn’t make enough effort with all the shit I had going on. I feel so guilty, she must hate -” He cut you off, turning you to face him.
“Hey. No, she doesn’t. I know my sister and she has a tendency to get swept up in her own life, she is just as much to blame and she’ll come around if you reach out. Besides, no one could ever hate you.”
He stared into your eyes for a couple seconds and you felt yourself heat up some more. But it was still not enough. The frost would dissipate for a few moments and then insidiously pull you back in again. At this point, you didn’t know what to do and he must have recognised the insecurity in your eyes because he gently brushed your hair away from your face.
“Y/n…” he breathed. “What’s up?”
Your lip trembled.
“I’m so cold.”
“Still?”
The frustration pulled at his features as his mind raced. He entwined his legs with yours and stroked your hair and then… And then he softly pressed his full lips against your forehead, lingering. The warmth trickled from that point all the way to your toes and you let out a relieved sigh. He took note and rested his forehead against yours - the calm gradually stretched until it twisted into something else, something heavy. It built until he tilted your face up slowly but instead of stopping there, he searched your eyes carefully and found whatever he was looking for because his own widened and you felt his heart race as he pressed his nose against yours.
You felt dizzy but this was the boost of emotion you were chasing so you closed the distance and brushed your lips against his. It wasn’t fireworks, not by a long shot. It was the comfort you needed which was a million times better. You moved slowly in tandem, experimentally angling your heads and applying different degrees of pressure - when you accepted his silky tongue he melted into your mouth, hand moving down to your hip.
You couldn’t believe this was happening - kissing Channie after all these years was never on the agenda. You were so lost in your head that when he made a strangled noise and pulled back, staring at you in a panic, you were thoroughly confused. Did you do something wrong? Were you a bad kisser?
“You’re not wearing any underwear!”
Oh. Right. Fuck.
You looked down quickly, realising he had been stroking your naked hip under the shirt. Where his fingers trailed, a line of fire was left in their wake - the desire was clogging your throat. Not enough. He made to disentangle himself but you weren’t about to let that happen so you pulled him back, swinging your leg over his hip, grinding up against his clothed erection. You both keened hard into each other’s mouths, caught up in the situation. The frosty darkness had started to seep from you entirely and you felt the knot unravel in your chest but all of a sudden, Chan pulled back, panic flitting across his face again. His chest was heaving in exertion and something else, you weren’t sure what.
“We can’t… we can’t do this.”
“Why!” Your outburst shocked the both of you but you didn’t care. Anything to feel. Anything to get rid of the gnawing ache of fear inside of you.
“Please, Chan, please, I need this. I need to feel warm, I need to feel safe, I need to get rid of this pain, I can’t….” You didn’t even notice the tears running down your face in absolute devastation. He quickly moved back in and cupped your face, whispering, “Hey, sshh, sweetheart, you’re okay. You’re okay. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
You quietened down, soft whimpers falling from your lips as he gently pushed you onto your back and caged you in. He lifted up to rip his shirt off and then leaned back over you, bringing his lips down to yours. When you tried to remove yours too, however, he grabbed your wrists to stop you.
“If we’re doing this, we’re doing this my way.” Never breaking eye contact, he parted your legs and settled between them. He brushed your hair to the side and when he started to softly suck a mark into your neck, his hips started rolling. And rolling. And rolling.
“Fuck, Channie!”
You were in agony. There was so much, almost too much. His strong arms kept you close, the heat from his shining chest washing over you - you were separated by the thin layer of his cotton shorts but nothing could prevent you from feeling his enormous, leaking member grinding against your pulsing clit. You begged to remove your shirt but he wouldn’t let you, hands staying over the material - he didn’t even caress your breasts. You couldn’t worry about it though, not when he was giving it to you so good.
“I-I think I’m gonna cum,” you panted against his skin to which he groaned a response.
“Yeah? You gonna cum for me, baby?” He started sucking harsher marks onto your collar bones, speeding up his movements.
“Cum for me, sweetheart.”
The orgasm ripped through you - it was unlike anything you had ever felt before, the fire spread over you, burning everything in its wake.
You were finally safe.
When he was sure you had come down from your high, he lifted his head, looking at you. Simply looking at you with blown pupils and you had no idea what he was thinking but, at that moment, you didn’t mind. He kissed you sweetly and rolled off you, spooning you again. Before you drifted off, you heard a faint murmur into your hair.
“Good night, baby girl.”
The sun was high in the sky when you woke up. When you woke up alone in a hotel room, to be exact. You tried to rack your brain in your sleepy state and it took you a few moments but boy, did it pay off when the memories came rushing back. Chan had brought you here. Chan had brought you here and you’d had dry sex. But wait… You sat up swiftly. Where did he go? Did he not enjoy it? You remembered your mindblowing orgasm but couldn’t remember his. Oh god. You had embarrassed yourself. You had begged him to fuck you and he hadn’t even enjoyed it. You had taken advantage of him in your desperate state and it was a pity fuck. Quite frankly, you wanted to disappear. As you turned around to bury yourself into the pillow, two foreign items on the bedside table caught your eye - a coffee cup and a paper bag. There was no note. Good old Chan, despite thinking you were pathetic, he still took care of you. You grabbed your phone off the table, checking for messages but none were from him. What was interesting was the notification you received about a concert that night - a certain Stray Kids concert you would be attending as a VIP. You sucked in a deep breath and then let out a huge..
“FUCK!”
“What’s he staring at?”
“I don’t think it’s a what, I think it’s a who.”
“I can hear you.”
Chan turned around from where he had been standing backstage and the two who had been observing him, Hyunjin and Jisung, took the opportunity to sneak around him. They craned their necks as they located the object of his scrutiny. The smaller crowd had walked in to see their soundcheck and so it was easy to spot you.
“Ahhhh is that the girl you raced to help last night, Ch-rizz-topher?”
“Ooh I can see why, she’s hot!”
“Shut the fuck up, Hyunjin.” Chan rubbed his temple and stared at you again, brows furrowing as he noticed a young guy lead you to your seat, hand on your lower back. He couldn’t blame him though - you looked amazing. You were wearing a tight contraption,your skin colour with red outlines tucked into black jeans, and a black leather jacket thrown over. The corset gave the impression that your torso was bare with blazing streaks across your body and he visibly twitched. Why did you have to wear that? The guilt was eating away at him already.
“What are you guys staring at?” Minho and Changbin had just joined the fray.
“Chan-hyung’s girl!”
Minho moved closer, “The girl from last night? She’s hot.”
Changbin eagerly nodded along and Chan could feel his blood pressure rising.
“Guys, she is not my girl. Simply Lily’s friend who needed help.”
“Hey Seungmin! Check out Chan-hyung’s hot girlfriend who happens to be Lily’s friend!”
“Jesus Christ, Jeongin!”
Chan had had enough. He couldn’t have this distracting them right now. They were about to go onstage in a city near his home and they needed to focus. He decided it would be best for everyone if he ignored you so, squaring his shoulders, he said something that he thought would end the discussion.
“She’s like a sister to me.”
“So you mean she’s available? OW, WHAT THE FU-”
You were right. You had embarrassed yourself last night. There were a number of factors that led up to this conclusion. Firstly, he hadn’t texted you since the incident. You chalked it up to his schedule but you were slightly hurt by the notion that he didn’t want to check up on you. Despite your mortification, you had dressed up really nicely - you weren’t sure why as you would not let it get to you. He was just busy. But now, as he walked down the stage, right past you, he kept his eyes carefully trained away from you. You knew he was aware of you, it was obvious by the way his jaw was clenched. You sighed inwardly - this was awful. Would you get the chance to apologise or would he shut you out completely? At this thought, your throat closed up but you were getting ahead of yourself. One step at a time.
The concert was incredible. You had never had so much fun in your life despite feeling the underlying stress of the situation. The boys were so talented and gorgeous. You admired Chan and even though you knew you shouldn’t, the events of the previous night flitted through your mind. When he hugged Minho tightly from behind, you felt his arms around you too - soothing you to sleep. When he brushed the hair from Felix’s eyes, you felt his featherlight touch as he dried your tears. When he lifted his shirt you were reminded of the smooth, hard muscles rippling under your fingertips as he brought you to your demise; and when he turned around, you remembered the firmness of that ass, clenching in your grip. Fuck - this was not happening. You were not growing feelings for him, were you? He had simply helped you out platonically and the way he was ignoring you proved that. But you found yourself questioning everything when he pulled his tight pants lower surreptitiously, showing his happy trail and briefs. You saw him look at other girls and your heart dropped - his dimple was on full display for everyone but you… You were shaken from your maudlin thoughts, however, when the other members drew your attention. They seemed to have taken quite a shine to you, completing hearts and throwing big smiles your way. It didn’t seem like a coincidence by the way that Chan visibly tensed up and pulled Hyunjin away from your side of the stage or smacked Changbin over the head when he sat down and stared at you during a speech. How much did they know? They were quite obviously getting a rise out of him and you were kind of enjoying it immensely. You were about to give up hope completely until something finally happened. It was during Red Lights. Chan was directly in front of you when he was doing his floor work and when he lifted himself up somewhat, his eyes locked with yours. You felt the air escape your lungs. The way his revealing jacket gleamed in the red spotlight, making his firm chest glow; the way the sweat trailed down his neck; the way his pretty pink mouth parted. All that made you dizzy but what had you wet was his stare. His stare. The way his dark eyes drove into you, the way his brows furrowed in consternation. You couldn’t decipher what he was feeling but you needed him. You hoped he craved you too. You were royally screwed.
The members were backstage while the audience was watching a video, getting ready for the final number. Minho saw Chan nervously darting his eyes to the wall, as if he had suddenly received the gift of X-ray vision. Chuckling lightly, he rested his chin on his shoulder and proceeded to play the part of the devil.
“How you doing?”
“Fine.”
“She’s alone here, right?”
“Yeah. Wait, I mean, I think so?”
“She staying at the hotel again?”
“How did you know where she stayed?” Chan turned to him in confusion. Minho merely smirked which annoyed him further and he turned back around, moving to catch a glimpse of you. His second in command zeroed in again.
“So? She coming with us?”
“No.” Chan grit his teeth, wanting nothing more to do with the situation. Nothing more to do with you.
“But… how will she get home? You can’t expect her to wait outside, in the cold, in the dark, alone, for a random taxi?”
Chan faltered at that. What kind of person would he be if he left you alone without checking up on you? He thought back to how small, vulnerable, scared you looked sitting on that couch and his heart clenched, the anger stirred. He still had your room since he didn’t know how much time you needed to rest so what was stopping him? He didn’t want to think about the answer to that question.
“Fine.” We probably have something to discuss anyway.
You were singing along with the final number when you heard a voice in your ear, shocking the bejeezus out of you. You turned around to find the young, attractive usher from earlier hovering - he beckoned you closer and told you to meet him by the side door as soon as the audience started filing out. You tentatively agreed, knowing what this meant and wondering what the fuck you were going to say when you were face to face with the man you simultaneously wanted to kick and kiss. As you turned back to the stage you caught him quickly turning his gaze away from the two of you - did you perhaps affect him in the same way? No, surely not. He was probably just annoyed at his protective instincts - that’s what landed you in this mess in the first place.
You realised you had zoned out because when you came to, most were cheering and moving around to leave. This was your cue. You moved to the door behind you and loitered a bit until the staff member came to get you. His name was James and he really was very nice but you couldn’t reciprocate his flirting - not when you were about to meet him. He led you through the corridor all the way to the back of the building and knocked on the door of the green room. You felt a warm sensation on your lower back and noticed his hand resting there - before you could ask him to remove it the door opened, revealing a wet-haired Changbin in fresh clothes. He opened the door with a wide smile and stepped back to let you in. You looked beyond him and saw Chan staring daggers at the man behind you who dropped his hand reluctantly. You thanked him gently and walked in.
You knew this was a mistake the moment you did because Chan went back to ignoring you, making you feel very out of place. The room was big, couches settled against the walls and make-up stations set up in the middle but, because of the absolute rejection, you felt the walls squeeze you in from all sides. Your heart stuttered and you started to instinctively move back. This was worse than you thought. How would you two ever be able to go back to normal? You wanted to be alone to mourn your childhood but, just as you were about to make your excuses and leave, a hand guided you to the couch where you were gently pushed down. The man followed you swiftly and sat by your side - it was almost invasive. You turned your head and found yourself staring at the most beautiful pair of lips. Hyunjin. His voice was like molten silk, sliding over your nerves, settling you.
“So what’s your name?”
“Y/n.”
“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”
You heard a scoff from somewhere and straightened up, refusing to appear vulnerable. Minho jumped into your line of sight and towered over you, gripping the couch.
“So. You’re the girl Chan valiantly rescued last night.” He smirked evilly, shooting a look at him who had his back to you, shoulders tensed. He still hadn’t acknowledged you. Minho, undeterred, was on a roll.
“How long have you known each other? Because he was frantic when he got the message from you. You two must be awfully close. Isn’t that right, Chan? I think he’d practically do anything for you.”
You schooled your breathing and answered without thinking, using his childhood nickname, “Well Channie and I -”
“Of course, I would. She’s basically my little sister.”
He didn’t look at you as he cut you off and you fought to swallow down the bile comprised of hurt, shame, anger. You knew he was in the right since you forced him into what had happened but you couldn’t help it. You needed to be wanted, you needed to be seen as a woman so you decided to fight fire with fire and focus on the members instead. You let a mask slide across your features.
Leaning back, you smiled demurely up at Minho, saying nothing in return. You took in the other boys - they were all so striking, so unique. Jeongin was staring at you shyly, Seungmin was maintaining nonchalant eye contact and Jisung was adjusting his belt. Good god. Felix had made himself comfy on the other side of you and thrown his arm around your shoulders, murmuring into your ear with his deep voice.
“If I may be so bold, I love your outfit. The red really pops against your smooth skin.” At this point, your face had started to match said colour. What were they playing at? You couldn’t say you weren’t relishing in it, however, as your inner brat was trying to rear its ugly head.
You crossed your legs and pushed your chest out slightly, noticing that Chan had now turned around and was staring balefully at the others. You couldn’t help but stare at him, his annoyance rolling off him in waves. The way the black tank hugged his torso as he crossed his arms really had you pulsing.
“Thanks, I am feeling a tad warm right now though so I might take off this jacket - could someone help me?”
Changbin appeared out of nowhere, pulling you upright and helping you out of it. You practically purred out a thanks and pretended not to notice how Chan’s scowl had deepened dramatically. The boys raked their eyes unabashedly over your body and when you turned you heard an appreciative gasp. You felt someone’s fingers trail over your shoulder and realised what they had seen.
“Your tattoo... So fragile, so delicate, so dark.” You realised it was Hyunjin and shivered when he brushed your hair to the side, seeing that it flowed up the back of your neck. It wasn’t a big tattoo by any means but you looked over your shoulder and caught Chan staring at it, eyes wide. You felt a quiet sense of satisfaction which was masking your lingering hurt so, clinging onto it, you gave Hyunjin a cheeky smile and reached out to touch his new piercing, eyes locked on his. His hair was shorter, shimmering maroon and his shirt was showcasing his collarbones. He was beautiful. He seemed just as entranced by you so he leaned in.
“Are you single then?”
“All right, Jesus! Stop acting like horny teenagers - she’s here because we’re helping her, what use is that when you’re harassing her? Y/n, put your damn jacket on - I can see the goosebumps from here.”
Chan started aggressively gathering his things, muttering under his breath. Hyunjin’s eyes gleamed at you and it all fell into place. They were all baiting him…and it had worked. As everyone got their bags, you moved to slip past them to the door.
“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
Chan was grimacing at you, arms crossed.
“You guys are getting ready to leave? Didn’t want to be in the way. Have a safe flight and well done for the great concert.” He was being an absolute prick and you realised that a written message three years from now would be sufficient. But as you started to open the door, a strong hand kept it closed, an arm effectively caging you in. You turned your head slightly and was met by his hard stare. Fuck me. You quickly looked behind you to see all the boys simultaneously turn and stare at a particularly ugly painting.
“I like the…brush strokes.”
“Yes, the mustard yellow is quite…prominent.”
Chan lowered his voice, “You’re here because the hotel room is still available and we don’t want you going home alone. Please… just go there.”
You grit your teeth and tried to tug at the door but his hand wrapped securely around yours and held you still. He leaned in, face unreadable, “What’s going on with you? I’m getting worried.” Your heart clenched painfully and you schooled your expression.
“Oh, don’t worry about me big bro - I’ll be fine.” He flinched and you cast your eyes down, feeling slightly guilty. You sighed, adding, “But I’ll take you up on your offer as I’m too fucking tired to find an uber in this madness.”
Everyone was quick to gather their things and when it came time to leave, you received your instructions.
“We will head out first, draw the crowd in and so forth. Once we’re on the road, you’ll follow us in a company car. You have your room key card?”
You nodded mutely and stared at the ground - so he wasn’t going to talk to you later. The disappointment and relief twirled into a glutinous mess and you felt sick. Someone approached you with a black cap and face mask, and you looked up to see Hyunjin in front of you. He gave you a gentle smile and silently asked if he could apply them. You nodded again and he slowly slid your mask into place, fingers trailing across your cheekbones. A hiss came out of nowhere and suddenly a new person had taken over. From behind you, Chan ran his fingers through your hair - you had seen him approach you but even if you hadn’t, you would recognise those fingers anywhere. The way they raked across your scalp had you seeing stars, the sensation threw you back to the bed where this had all started. You thought you might be imagining it but you could feel his heart race through his shirt and you shivered. After he had balled your hair up, under the cap, you were ready. He stepped back and avoided your gaze. You noticed Jisung clutching his chest, expression cooing and Jeonging blushing in the back. You rolled your eyes and watched the members move towards the van. Just as you started contemplating making a run for it, a harsh voice whispered in your ear.
“Don’t you dare think about it. Stop being a brat and go to the hotel.”
“Come on, Channie! The car is waiting!” Minho cackled and Chan jogged on, scowling the whole way.
Once in the car, Chan’s mind raced. He felt like absolute scum. He had hurt you. He had hurt you the night before and it was evident in the way you interacted with him. He knew he was being standoffish but he was scared to look you in the eyes because everytime he did he was reminded of the tears glistening there as you begged him to fuck you. He didn’t even know he had a crying kink until you outright sobbed, clutched onto his shirt and stared beseechingly into his eyes. God, he had never been so hard in his life. He had let himself get swept up and now he was paying the price. He had acted like a frat boy and taken advantage of you in your vulnerable state. You. You, who knew who he really was, who had grown up with him - he was supposed to protect you, you fucking trusted him. He’d let one of the most important people to him down and he couldn’t bear to face you. He’d seen the hurt etched across your features while he was onstage and, like the coward he was, he ignored it. Like the coward he was, he had slipped out of your bed and fled. Like the coward he was, he didn’t message you, no matter how much he wanted to. And like a pervert…he had gotten himself off in the shower as soon as he could. How could he not when he noticed the patch of arousal you had left on his boxers? You probably hated him and he couldn’t face it. He instinctively gripped his seat as he remembered how you looked in the changing room. His heart had stuttered seeing you up close, your hair tousled, your eyes shining as you looked at the other members. He thought about that tattoo, when had you gotten that? It might quite possibly have been the sexiest thing he had ever seen. It reminded him of how you’d grown up without him, how you had bloomed into this gorgeous creature, how you were different yet not. He wanted to trace his fingers over it or better yet, his tongue but Hyunjin had beaten him to it and Chan had to hold himself back from strangling him. He didn’t know how you felt about him, he wasn’t supposed to want you but he couldn’t help it. When did he start liking you in this way? Did you like Hyunjin? The jealousy had flooded him when you touched his piercing with a smile. You had smiled at him like that when you were in his arms. Right before you cried and begged him to fuck you. Fuck. He was an absolute fucking mess.
He had to apologise to you, he had to make this right.
When you opened the door to your room, you froze. There, sitting in the same armchair as the night before, was Chan. He was staring hard at the carpet, saying nothing. After a while you slowly closed the door and shifted from one foot to the other, not sure what to do next - you didn’t particularly want to sit on that bed in front of him.
“Are you just going to stand there?”
His face was impassive as he looked at you, it made your heart hammer in your chest. He was angry at you - you wanted to melt into the carpet but knew it was better this way. You wanted him to just get it over with - yell at you and then leave. You didn’t deserve anything less. So, mustering up your courage, you made your way to the bed and perched on the side of the mattress closest to him. His eyes were dark and you forced yourself to maintain eye contact - he was really angry. Your lip trembled as you realised there was no going back for the two of you. This was the end of everything.
“Y/n. I need to say something to you - fuck.”
He hissed the last word as he noticed your eyes glinting. Scrambling out of the chair, he moved to the massive windows, back to you.
“Please stop crying,” he gritted out.
Embarrassed at how pathetic you must look to him, you hastily wiped your cheeks and stood up, moving towards him. When you placed a hand on his arm (you had to apologise to his face) he jerked away as though electrocuted, muttering, “I can’t do this.”
You turned away in defeat and made your way to the shower, thinking you would make it easier for him to leave. You found his pyjamas on the sink and choked back a sob, why was this so hard?
After scrubbing your skin for fifteen minutes, you ventured out. You wanted to curl up into a ball and berate yourself further for jumping the man who’d always been there for you in one way or another but you came face to face with Chan again. He hadn’t left, he was sprawled in the chair again. Why won’t he just leave? I would much rather send him a fruit basket than do this. You steeled your shoulders, opened your mouth, but before you could say something he cut in.
“I’m sorry.”
What?
He repeated it and looked you dead in the eye. It confused you so much that you stood there, gaping like a fish for a good few seconds. When you were finally able to get words out, your voice sounded shrill.
“Chan… what are you apologising for? I’m the one who should be doing that.”
His brow furrowed and he tilted his head questioningly.
You stepped forward slowly, it was now or never.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for last night - I forced myself on you. I begged you to sleep with me and you gave in. I assaulted you. I’m so fucking sorry!”
Now it was his turn to gape - he felt even worse than before.
“Is that the impression I gave you? That I didn’t want it?”
“You were hardly touching me, wouldn’t take my shirt off and you didn’t come!”
“That’s because I was forcing myself to stay calm and not lose control! You have no idea how incredible you looked under me, how fucking much I wanted to ruin you. I am so sorry. Even though I tried to restrain myself somewhat, I violated your trust in me. You were coming down from cocaine for god’s sake and I took advantage of you. I don’t even deserve to be alone with you right now.”
“No.”
You started to panic, hands shaking and breaths shallow. You couldn’t believe he was trying to do this again. To protect you and make you feel better about you assaulting him. Typical Chan. You’d had enough. Angry tears pooling in your eyes, you strode forward until you were standing right in front of him.
“You don’t get to do this. Not again! I fucking attacked you and now you’re trying to make me feel better? Chan, stop hiding your feelings - I know you’re resenting me right now and I need you to be honest. You’ve been ignoring me all evening, acting aggressive when I approach you. Saying you ‘can’t do this’ a moment ago. Stop being so nice!”
He had stood up by this point, towering over you.
“Being nice? I’m being nice? Do you want to know what I actually meant when I said I can’t do this?” There was no trace of empathy on his face and it made you nervous. Were you wrong? He continued on, moving even closer.
“You had just started crying and it turned me on. It fucking turned me on. Apparently I’m into that. If I didn’t shake you off, I would have taken you against the window for everyone to see. I’m disgusting.”
Your breath caught in your throat. God, you wanted him. He was about to move away in shame when you caught his wrist. He studied you carefully and noticed your dilated pupils, mouth parted and cheeks flushed. You loved his confession and it twisted something in his chest. He wrapped a hand around your hair and lifted your face up, admiring the silvery sheen of tears glistening on your cheeks. He groaned and with his free hand, wiped them away with his thumb. When he slid it into his mouth and sucked at the salty residue, you felt your guilt wash away. He wasn’t joking. And you were going to lose it.
Gripping the back of your neck, he bent down to lightly brush his lips against yours but you both stopped before sealing the deal. His eyes danced.
“Tell me to stop.”
“No.”
You mirrored his words, “Tell me to stop.”
His reply came fast and breathless.
“Never.”
The kiss was immediate, it was forceful with teeth clashing and lip biting.
He pushed you onto the bed and, this time, ripped your shirt off.
“As much as I love seeing you in my clothes, I just need to fucking check something.” He turned you onto your front and roughly brushed your hair out the way, stilling for a moment as he took in the sight. Your painted shoulder was glorious.
“When did you even get this?”
“Back in uni, six shots of tequila helped me gain the confidence to share my design with an artist.”
“So you’re saying, I leave you for a couple of years and you go wild? Shit, I’ll have to keep my eye on you in case you come back with a nose ring.” You felt his arousal through his shorts and smirked to yourself.
He bent his head down and finally got to slide his tongue slowly over the clean lines, causing you to shudder and arch your back. He licked up your shoulder, to your neck where he bit down. Hard. It had you bucking in his grasp and he sternly pushed your hips down.
“Oh baby - settle down unless you don’t want to come. At all.”
Your eyes rolled back into your head and you quietened down, panting in anticipation.
“Good girl.”
Fuck. When did he get so authoritative? He gripped your hair and bruised your mouth with his, licking into you. The pace was rough and you suddenly became aware of how gentle he had been with you when you needed him the previous night. He had gone at your pace, fluttered his fingers over you and made sure not to make you uncomfortable. You smiled into the kiss as you truly realised that he wasn’t reluctant, he was respectful - he was treasuring you. You were both idiots. He quirked a brow, feeling your smile and pulled away.
“What’s on your mind, baby girl?”
“Channie, you could never hurt me - not even if you tried.”
He understood your meaning, giggling shyly (how?), but decided to take your words literally.
“You sure about that?”
He bit the shell of your ear sharply and your eyes darkened in response. Now was not the time for sentimentalities. Ripping his shirt off, he flipped you over and nestled between your legs - his eyes trailed down and his lips quirked.
“You didn’t learn the last time?”
“I have a thing against wearing dirty undies after a shower.”
“Who are you?” His face tightened in thought and you needed to bring him back.
You cupped his face, “Chan, I need you to understand that I’m not the girl from your memories anymore. I’ve grown up - which you can clearly see - so please, don’t be gentle and don’t regret this. I want you and I realise I’ve kind of always wanted you - you were just either too thick to see it or you didn’t want to. I’ve grown up, I’ve dated and I still want you. Tell me you want this and then stop worrying about hurting me, if you’ll have me - I’m all yours. At least for tonight.” You swallowed thickly with nerves and waited for his response - would he finally see a beautiful, worldly woman (like the ones he must hang out with) or would he not be able to get past his impression of you, his little sister’s friend. You hoped it was the first. He took a few moments and you thought you might just cry which you did not want to happen as it would, apparently, just persuade him to fuck you.
He sucked in his bottom lip with a sigh and stared up at you from below his lashes. His warm brown eyes narrowed in something akin to concern. He opened his mouth and then thought better of it, leaning down to place a warm kiss against your forehead. You shuddered and waited, heart sinking.
“Y/n. I can’t promise that I’ll be able to separate you from the girl I knew when I was little. In fact, I don’t want to.” Your shoulders tensed and you waited for the inevitable rejection. What an unfortunate position to be doing this in.
“When I saw you on that couch yesterday, scared and so alone, an image of you crying in the rain hit me. I don’t know if you remember but you were sixteen - your parents had had a fight and gone to bed, forgetting to unlock the front door for you. I pulled you to your feet and cuddled you on Lily’s bed while we waited for her to get home. Anyways, you looked exactly the same, lost and feeling abandoned. I wanted to gather you in my arms again, I needed to protect you again. You mean so much to me and I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else. Just be Y/n, the annoying neighbour who I had a massive crush on before I left. Why do you think I kept in touch all these years? I needed some semblance of normalcy, I needed the comfort of home. I needed you. And I still do. So, stay with me as you. Yourself. Be mine.”
You let out a relieved laugh and he cradled your face again, whispering,“But you gotta stop doing this, darling, as you’ll send me to an early grave and you wouldn’t want to disappoint my fans now, would you?”
He was kissing a stray tear away and you decided you would indeed try your best to shed a few everyday if it meant getting this treatment.
Suddenly, you felt his breathing grow ragged as he looked you over.
“Now call me Channie again and let me have you.”
You bit back a whimper as he lowered his mouth to your neck and then, realising you were stark naked under him, you tugged at his waistband. He broke away for a second to rip both layers off and then captured your lips with his. It was a slow, deep kiss this time - as though you were savouring this pivotal moment together. His hands softly entwined in your hair again and yours slid leisurely over his back, running your nails over the tight planes of flesh. He hissed and you felt woozy, arousal dripping from your core. He slid his cock through your folds gently and held eye contact - it was almost too intense for you so you turned your face away, only for him to grip your chin and bring you back.
“Look at me. Please.”
You blinked and nodded dumbly, watching as he slid his fingers down to your begging hole. You were sopping, ready, and he knew this but a cheeky smile flashed across his features and you narrowed your eyes at him as he slowly made his way down your body. He trailed his tongue across your collarbones, flicked your nipples, grazed his teeth along your ribs and when he reached your pelvis he bit down on your hip. All while maintaining eye contact. You yelped and jerked your hips up from the bed but he easily draped a muscular arm across your torso, glaring at you.
“What did I say about moving?”
“Sorry…” you murmured, head in the clouds. You felt him chuckle, breath ghosting over your pussy. He hummed quietly and kissed your folds. It felt so good that you knew you’d be begging for more later. When his tongue swept over your slit you keened loudly, forcing yourself to stay still. He sucked your bud in between his plush lips and you felt your waterline pleading to release. No, this is too soon! You tried to keep your impending orgasm at bay but it was as though he knew all the right spots on you so as soon as his tongue slid inside you and lapped at your walls you lost it, thighs locking around his head and mouth open in a silent scream.
You felt him nip at your thigh and position himself over you, waiting for you to return to him. You lazily smiled at him, combing a hand through his messy locks and he kissed you all over your face, making you push at him.
“Tell me to stop before I make you scream.”
You widened your eyes as his confidence swept back at full force and choked out, “No.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
He gripped your hip with one hand and sheathed himself in you, apparently deciding he couldn’t hold back anymore. And scream, you did.
“Fuck, Channie!”
He said nothing, starting off at a punishing pace and you felt the breath leave your lungs. You held onto his biceps, honestly trying not to pass out. You realised he adored edging you because the heat in your belly would build up at the abuse you endured by his thick cock slamming into your walls but, at the last minute, he would feel you clenching and change the pace. It was frustrating the hell out of you and you wouldn’t have it any other way. He had monumentally slowed down his pace when he started talking.
“How are you still so tight, baby girl? I’m so deep inside you and your wet cunt is still trying to suck me in. Fuck. Is this good for you? Do you like it when I take you like this?”
You let out an embarrassing noise, too fucked out to speak. At this, he slowed down even more.
“What was that? Speak to me - what do you want?” His face hovered over yours, smirking devilishly at you. God, you hated this man. You tried your best to glare at him and pulled your lips firmly shut, two could play at this game. He stopped completely and gripped your face hard, pushing his thumb into your mouth - you felt your eyes roll back as you instinctively clenched around him.
“Stop being a fucking brat, Y/n, and tell me what you want. Beg for it or I’ll make you cry.” He clearly was not going to move and your pussy ached so much as you had been going for quite a while. You realised that if you were going to sleep with him again, you would need to learn to hold your own but it wouldn’t be tonight. He heard a sound around his thumb and pulled it out.
“Hmm? What was that, sweetheart?”
“Cum. I need to cum. Now.” Your voice broke around the last word and he sucked in a breath, eyes darkened to black. He rose up on his knees and folded your legs up against his chest. You had thought it would be impossible but he was even deeper than before.
“If I see even one more tear, I’m going to stop.”
He started up his brutal pace, watching your face contort in the most delightful way. Your eyes took him in as much as you could - the furrow between his brow, his mouth hanging open, sweat trickling down his neck and shoulders. The way his arms bunched around your legs and the way he was breathing was coaxing you to the edge - when he started to feel you contract he licked his thumb and swiftly brought it down onto your clit. It sent you hurtling to your destruction, taking him with you.
Later, whilst facing each other on the bed, arms and legs tangled, you searched his eyes. The sparkle was there, no hint of regret in sight. You felt a surge of relief until you heard his next words.
“The sun’s not out yet and we are far from finished.”
Fuck.
Your body was sore. Really sore. It felt as though he had split you in two, you shuddered at all the positions you had tried (successfully). But you had been over-ambitious and now you were paying the price. Opening a weary eye, you looked around. It was morning, the sun was gently washing in from behind the light curtains…and there was nothing blocking it. Chan wasn’t there, Chan was gone. You struggled to sit up but managed to slouch against the headboard. Was something wrong? Had you fucked up again? You got nervous - when he said “be mine” did he mean “just for tonight?”. You racked your brain, trying to remember what time his flight was but the sound of your discarded phone ringing had you scrambling to reach for it. When you looked at the caller ID, the air returned to you.
“Channie?”
A warm chuckle met you and you sighed in happiness - until you realised he had destroyed you physically and ran. Was he already at the airport?
“Where are you?”
“I’m at a cafe, getting us some breakfast. In fact, I’m currently fighting over a Pain au Chocolat since I remember you liking those.”
“ …oh.”
“Baby, did you think I’d left you again?” You imagined him softly smiling into the phone and you mirrored his action as you heard his next words.
turning hyunjin on while he’s at an important event
0.3k words. smut. MDNI 18+.
imagine you and hyunjin are at a formal event amongst his colleagues and professionals in his industry but you get really needy and have the sudden urge have his dick in your cunt so you lightly tug on his sleeve. he’s chatting with some important man in a suit but asks to excuse himself for a moment when he feels your pull and slightly lowers his head so you can say what you need to in his ear. you whisper “I want you to fuck me.” and his whole body tenses up. “baby, don’t say things like that, you’ll make me hard.” but he manages to maintain his composure and continues to nod and politely smile to the man talking. you sulk next to him but stay quiet, fidgeting with his fingers, pressing your legs together wishing they were touching you instead. “please hyun, I need you so bad.” you mumble in his ear. he firmly clenches your hand, signaling you to stop, and for a brief moment when the man leaves to get some water, hyunjin urgently whispers to you “you’re gonna give me a boner and people will notice, so stop.” “I can help you with that.” you reply. he groans but gives you one last warning look to stop provoking him and returns to his conversation with the man. the second their conversation is done, hyunjin pulls you into an empty bathroom and presses you against the wall with his body. you can feel his erection prominent against your lower stomach. “why do you always cause me trouble?” he hisses. you look up at him with innocent doe eyes. “I just love you a lot hyune.” “love me so much that you need to have my dick inside of you all the time?” you hurriedly nod. “such a horny slut.” he mumbles before fucking you hungrily, filling you up with his cum until he’s empty. you just smile as he finishes fucking you on the bathroom counter. you got what you wanted all night. he scoffs when he sees your smile and holds your face close to his. “you’re gonna be the death of me.” he sighs before pulling you in for a passionate kiss.
Hello! Chapter 4 of Super Bored should be released this week (unless something unexpected happens to me in which case it will be the week after). In the meantime, I have uploaded Camille's pov from when Hyunjin was in Paris, which was requested to me a lot right after the last chapter. I decided to share it to thank all of you for your patience. Thank you for all the love you've given to me and this story. It means more than you think.
This interlude will be a part of the next chapter.
pairings: hyunjin x camille, hyunjin x tipsy | wc: 7.5k | warnings: jealousy ; heartbreak ; angst ; adult and sexually explicit content.
Well that literally soothed my aching soul. The fact that he told her before they started anything about Mc... and the way he held himself during the relationship- I know she didn't deserve it but she knew what she was getting herself into. My question is - why can't she realize she is worth more than chasing a man across the world who doesn't want her the way that she wants him to?? I'm SO excited for the next installment but I'm still remembering the awful heartbreak Mc experienced... hope it gets fixed 😭
synopsis: you and your husband try to spice things up by role playing as strangers during date night, but hyunjin just can’t hold in how much he loves his wife
warnings: role play, fake? cheating (mc and hj are married but role playing as strangers), unprotected sex, dirty talk, mc is called a slut and whore, not proofread!
Ten years you’ve been in love with Hyunjin, and 4 years you’ve been married to him. He was a perfect lover—kind, caring, romantic—everything you could ever want and more. He even managed to exceed your wildest dreams and expectations once he became your husband, never failing to make you feel loved every single day. You really couldn’t ask for any more, couldn’t really think of anything more to ask of him. He anticipated your needs before you had them, and fulfilled your desires before you realized they existed. He loved you endlessly and you loved him just as much.
But maintaining this level of passion for this long doesn’t come without effort. Even the strongest relationships could benefit from a little spice here and there. So when you proposed to switch things up for your date night, Hyunjin eagerly agreed.
Role playing.
Neither of you had tried it before, but it seemed like a fun way to add a little excitement to your night. You planned to meet at the new bar in town at 7 o’clock, where you both would act like strangers, allowing you to create characters for yourselves and live out your fantasies for the night. Having a new identity might give you the confidence to be bold and maybe even take some risks you wouldn’t normally take, you thought. And the idea of seeing a more daring side of Hyunjin kept you anticipating your date all day.
At 7 o’clock you entered the building. The lighting was dim and warm and the soft jazz playing in the background made for a seductive ambience. You perched yourself on a stool at the bar, one leg crossed over the other, the long slit of your dress revealing your thigh. It was a brand new dress Hyunjin had never seen before, and you knew he’d love it.
You scanned the room for your husband, but didn’t see any sign of him, so you ordered a drink to keep you occupied in the meantime. As you took your first sip, a tall figure approached you.
“Is this seat taken?”
A familiar hand lightly caressed your back as the question was whispered in your ear. His low voice sent a shiver of excitement down your spine and you could smell the floral cologne on his neck—he was wearing your favorite. Fighting back your smile, you shook your head no and continued sipping your drink. Hyunjin sat down and ordered his own drink, and that’s when you finally took a look at him.
He was dressed in a fitted black suit, a skinny black tie snug around his neck, his belt secured around his waist, his entire outfit perfectly molded to his body—absolutely ravishing. You observed the various rings adorning his fingers, shining as he reached for his glass, but one was missing—his wedding ring. Hyunjin noticed your frown as you gazed at his hands, and knew right away what got you upset. He made eye contact with you and grinned as he patted his pocket, indicating that the ring was inside. You swiftly turned away, but couldn’t suppress the smile that crept onto your face. You loved that your husband was so in tune with your feelings, immediately understanding it was his ring that upset you. And you supposed he wasn’t your husband for tonight so you decided to let it go.
You redirected your attention to the glass in front of you, and now it was Hyunjin’s turn to study the sight before him. His gaze traveled from your face—beautiful as ever, your lips adorably puckered as you sucked on your straw—to your bare shoulders, to your dress—one he hadn’t seen before but instantly loved, because it hugged your curves perfectly and the slit up your thigh was practically inviting him in. Simply put, you looked stunning. So stunning that Hyunjin almost forgot you weren’t supposed to know each other in this present moment, and nearly leaned in to kiss you. Instead, he cleared his throat and began his pursuit of wooing you.
“Does a beautiful woman like you always come to the bar alone?”
You looked up from your glass with a grin. “Are you talking to me?”
Hyunjin turned to face you. “You’re the most beautiful one here, so yes.”
“I did come alone.” You nonchalantly answer.
“Mind if I keep you company?”
“If it’s you, I don’t mind.”
“I’m Hyunjin.” He reached out his hand.
“I’m Y/N.” You clasped your hand in his, which he pulled to his lips for a kiss.
You giggled into your drink and he did the same. It’s only been a few minutes and he already made you blush. Leave it to your sweet husband to make you flustered so easily. But this was not how you planned for the night to go. You wanted to act outside the box, to do things you wouldn’t normally do, to say things you never had the guts to say.
Brushing your hair behind your shoulder, you channeled your alter ego. “You seem to have quite the collection of rings Hyunjin, are you married?”
Hyunjin looked at you nervously for a moment before deciding on his answer. “No, I’m not.”
“That’s a shame.” You sighed. “Because I enjoy sleeping with married men the most.”
“Is that so?” He gulped.
“Mhm.” You nodded, fingers traveling up his arms. “The danger makes it more fun. I like to steal what doesn’t belong to me and make it mine.”
Hyunjin tugged to loosen the tie around his neck. “You have good intuition then, because I actually am married.” He reached into his pocket to pull out the ring. “Does that make you want me more?”
“Depends.” You mischievously grinned at him. “What do you plan on doing with me?”
Hyunjin leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I’ll book a room at the hotel across the street. How about I take you there, take off this dress and fuck you all night?”
His breath hit your neck and sent surges of thrill through your body.
“Came here to find a slut to fuck instead of your wife?” You whispered. “I’m your girl.”
His hand was sliding up your thigh now, inching closer to where the fabric ended and where your core was basically aching for him to touch. You could see how turned on he was too from the tent growing in his pants.
“How bad do you want me?” You watched him with hooded eyes.
Hyunjin’s lips parted as he gazed at your figure up and down. “So bad.”
“Show me.”
You didn’t stay another second in that bar. Your heart raced as Hyunjin grabbed your hand and led you to the hotel.
The moment the door shut, your back was pressed against the wall and Hyunjin’s hands were up your dress. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt as he pressed feverish kisses down your neck. You did a messy job of unbuckling his pants but eventually stripped them off of him, freeing the boner that had been growing underneath. Hyunjin used one hand to rub over your already-soaked panties while the other frantically searched for the zipper on your dress. Once he found it and pulled it down, letting the dress drop to your ankles and exposing you to him, he paused for a moment to admire your naked body.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”
He dove in for a heated kiss, drowning your lips in his and cradling your face in his hands. You could tell that he was getting lost in the kiss, but you were growing impatient. You placed your hand on his bulge, causing his body to shudder as you began palming him over his boxers.
“I want you to show me how bad you want me.” You whispered. “Fuck me like I’m your whore.”
“Someone’s eager.” Hyunjin smirked. “Are you going to be my pretty little…slut tonight?”
You could hear the hesitation in his voice when he called you that. Hyunjin’s vocabulary for you was strictly limited to loving, sweet words and affectionate pet names. It was probably uncomfortable for him to degrade you in any way. And as much as it filled your heart to know that he only ever wanted to praise you, hearing him call you his slut was undeniably hot.
“Yes baby, I’m such a slut for your big cock.” You reached into his boxers and began pumping him. “Want you to fuck me already.”
“Turn around, spread your pussy for me.”
Hyunjin tightly gripped your waist as you bent over and pressed your ass against his dick, hard and leaking with anticipation. He slid the tip up and down your folds, garnering whimpers from you. Once his dick was coated with your wetness, he positioned himself at your entrance.
“Oh,” He sighed as his cock slipped in. “You feel so good sweetheart.”
“Hyunjin, I’m not your sweetheart.” You muttered, but you could help whining as he started pumping in and out.
“S-sorry.” He panted as he continued thrusting into you. “Fuck, this pussy feels so good.”
“Yeah? You like how tight my pussy is? How wet I am for you?”
Hyunjin could only respond with deep moans and lustful sighs. He was too focused on fucking you to really hear what you were saying. You started losing your train of thought as well when his pace began to quicken, the knot in your stomach unraveling with each thrust. You were dripping down your thighs and the wet sounds of his skin slapping against yours filled the room. His dick was impossibly hard, stuffing you full and hitting you in all the right places. And before you even knew it, you came.
“H-Hyunjin, fuck, hyun—I’m cumming.”
Your body squirmed as your rode your high. Hyunjin gripped your waist tighter, keeping you in place, still relentlessly pounding into you. You felt his dick twitch inside of you and knew he was close too.
“Cum inside baby, stuff this pussy.” You grinded against him, eager for his load.
“Ah—fuck, wait.” He paused his movements all of a sudden and held you still. “I want to see your face when I cum.”
Hyunjin spun you around and kissed you, leading you backwards until your legs hit the bed. You laid down as he lifted your legs, placing one last soft kiss on your shoulder before thrusting into you without warning. You yelped at the sudden sensation, pleasure overtaking your body once again.
This time, Hyunjin didn’t hold back. He pounded into you hard, bucking his hips against yours over and over until his thrusts became erratic. His high was approaching and he held onto you tightly, panting as he struggled to control his movements.
“I love you.” He muttered, his head buried in your neck.
You chuckled. “You’re gonna tell a stranger that you love them?”
Hyunjin’s face was flushed, his eyes hooded as he gazed at you. He couldn’t think straight. “M’sorry, I just—you’re just so beautiful.”
You took his face in your hands and kissed him, sweetly, passionately, enveloping him in your love. It took his breath away and he came with your lips on his.
“I love you too.” You sighed into his mouth as he emptied himself inside you.
It took a few minutes for him to catch his breath before Hyunjin removed himself from your body. After cleaning yourselves up, you dove back onto the sheets, tired and ready to end the night.
“Are we done role playing now? I want to hold you.” Hyunjin mumbled, pulling the covers over your bodies.
You snuggled into his side and rested your head in the crook of his neck. Hyunjin sighed with satisfaction and pulled you close. He fell asleep with you in his arms, and you were soon to follow, your eyes growing tired. But before they closed and locked you in slumber, you took one last look at your husband sleeping soundly next to you. He tried so hard to play along with your game today, to become the salacious Casanova of your fantasies. But in the end, he couldn’t hide the fact that he was your sweet, loving husband after all.
And you wouldn’t change a thing about him. You wouldn’t trade the man you had for anything in the world.
a/n: just a random hj thought i had today, but what’s new 🤷 it’s not super polished or anything, but I’m hoping to get back into the groove of writing again so I hope y’all enjoy this one a lil bit :] lemme know your thoughts if you do! 💕
WOW. This was so good, like - I thought it was gonna be wild and kinky but the way Hyunjin kept breaking character was sooo adorable. I actually love this version of him. 💙🌻
⚝ Bang Chan x Reader (f)
⚝ 3.2k
⚝ Stories published on this blog are not exhaustively tagged for their entire content to prevent spoilers. Proceed at your own risk. — Heavy thirsting, semi-public sex, crass language.
❥ Of course he has hundreds of fans screaming his name — he's a rockstar. The problem is something happens to him every time he's performing, and you just can't stop staring.
“What a goddamn exhibitionist,” you shot a pseudo-nauseated look at the huge screen in the green room, trying to veil how turned on you were behind some sass.
Exhibitionist? Not quite. Chris Bang was a premium-quality attention whore, which was exactly why he was in show business.
People screaming his name. Singing all the words he penned by heart, no matter how obscene they were. He could just stand there for an entire hour doing nothing, and the crowd would still complete the setlist all by themselves.
Oxy? E? Coke? Nope, none of that.
Nothing came close to that rush he felt every time he walked out on stage. That high platform was his personal pedestal where he was treated like a sacred god with hundreds of devotees worshipping at his feet.
He couldn’t go very long without his fix. He was fiending for it. He violently got off on it. It was his biggest kink.
Literally.
And there it was happening again right in front of your eyes.
Keep reading
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Happy new year, lovely people 🧧
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occurring between chapter 13 [normal] and chapter 14 [alone]
There was something ironic in how taken you were by the idea of sex with a werewolf. The tantalus banter that would occur, the taboo nature that was the relationship between witches and werewolves… it all allured you.
Though that could be due to the face of the beast you pictured. Minho’s face. His wicked grin that would occur before he bit down on the area between your shoulder and neck. His bare body flush against you, your fingers dancing down his spine and making his chest rumble with a growl. Such wolf-like behaviour.
It would be wild, but so much more. The mere idea of having a soulmate, someone to commit to forever — it made werewolves such romantic creatures. You could picture Minho’s beautiful hands pulling you closer as his soft lips whispered adoration into your skin.
Would he lavish you with gifts made werewolves were known for? It was a mating ritual, an exception for mates once they’ve met, and yet you didn’t care. You desired those gifts, the signs that he could protect and provide. It was a primitive tradition and yet your fingers moved faster at the idea.
You could picture it. Laying on the hide of a beast he had hunted, one to prove that he was strong enough for your love, while his fingers curled inside you. Your two naked bodies tangled together, your back warm atop the fur and a warm fire glowing on your skin. To see the fire in his eyes while he smirked up at you from your cunt… you clenched around your fingers.
Minho would be so romantic with his destined partner. You could see it in his subtle actions, hidden behind the privacy of only your eyes. No one else would witness his grand affection, but you knew he would still worship them.
Jealousy stirred within you and your fingers slowed their pace inside you. He was going to meet his soulmate eventually. It was not right to picture Minho so scandalously when someone out there was awaiting their gift of food and hides. Mating rituals were not something for a witch to fantasise of.
Go back to the silhouette of a werewolf. No specific one. A werewolf who you encounter in the forest, your hair in the wind and your dress torn in the best of places. What would they wear? Perhaps nothing. A wild beast in the forest would have no need for clothes.
Instead of the comforter (or the hide you pictured) beneath your back, you imagined the touch bark of a tree as the werewolf held you to it. Strong hands on your hips, a claw ripping more of your material while their teeth latches onto your neck for a bite.
Wild and exhilarating. A thick cock snug inside you with a knot that threatened entry. You would claw at their back and scream in ecstasy as they ravaged you.
That was what you wanted. You didn’t admit that the face once again morphed to a familiar one. Nor did you think about how your lips silently formed Minho as you rode your fingers.
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Oh my god, I screamed!! It never occurred to me that Minho may have a mate waiting for him. PLEASE TELL ME IT'S RED. Or that by some fluke he can be with her. Otherwise I'll cry myself to sleep. The imagery was so incredibly well portrayed in this💙🌻
pairing: hyunjin x f!reader | wc: 12k | genre: rivals to hooking up ; smut with plot | general warnings: workplace rivalry ; only one bed ; hate sex ; mild violence (slapping) | explicit sexual content, this work is for adult audiences ; explicit warnings under the cut | Author compiles major/relevant warnings only. Reader discretion is advised.
Every Monday was more of the same—you checked your schedule which contained way too many meetings, and then you looked at the assigned cases for the week. And every single Monday, Hwang Hyunjin was assigned the best, most interesting case.
*Installment of The Red Lights Chronicles
explicit warnings: slapping (m receiving) ; kinda dom!hyunjin ; mild/moderate degradation ; rough unprotected sex ; no aftercare — every act taking place is consensual.
“You’ve got to be FUCKING kidding me! Him again?”
You slammed your fist on your desk, causing a few drops from your coffee to spill over your cup and land on a file. With yet another grunt, you hurried to grab a tissue and try to prevent too much bleeding through the sheets. The intern in the cubicle next to yours shot a worried glance at you, swirling his chair to face you. Jeongin arrived here just last week, and your manager stuck him with you because you had ‘enough time’ to ‘show him the ropes.’
“Miss? Should I make another copy of those?” he asked, rising from his chair and motioning toward the file, which was in fact one of the files from a case you had just won.
Jeongin was a nice boy, a good intern, but you just lacked the patience with interns, despite remembering being one not so long ago. You took a deep breath, making sure that none of the sheets had been ruined by coffee. “No, it’ll be fine. Thanks. Did you fill out the forms I asked you for today’s meeting?”
“Almost done, miss,” he said with a dip of the head, adjusting the thick black glasses over his nose. “Are you… alright?”
With a sigh, you turned to your screen again where you had been looking at the schedule for the week. Every Monday was more of the same—you checked your schedule which contained way too many meetings, and then you looked at the assigned cases for the week.
And every single Monday, Hwang Hyunjin was assigned the best, most interesting case.
“Look at this shit, Jeongin. Tell me what’s wrong with this.” Maybe this would be the best way to prepare him for his life as a defense attorney—it would be best if he was fully informed about it. You had known this was a competitive line of work, but nobody had prepared to be faced with someone whose ego was as big as Hwang.
Jeongin leaned over the computer, reading the screen carefully. “Uh… Miss, I don’t know, I—”
“Look at the Kang/Seon case.” You even showed him the names, pointing your index at the screen. “Remember, we talked about this case yesterday?”
“Oh yeah, the conflict of interest case, right?” As though you were a literal teacher and him the student, Jeongin straightened up to describe the case that you had reviewed with him. “Mr. Kang was named executive director in Mr. Seon’s company, but that was deemed a conflict of interest due to Mr. Kang’s financial involvement in Seon’s old bank.”
You nodded. “That case can make a career, Yang. It can unmake it, too. But if Changbin assigned it to Hwang…”
With a sigh, you leaned back into your chair. Of course they would give that case to Hwang. The up-and-coming star, the handsome, conceited prick who went through law school on his parents’ money. God’s favorite. He always had it so easy.
“Do you think it means Mr. Hwang will be up for the promotion you want, then?” Jeongin questioned, his eyes suddenly turning big and inquisitive.
There was an ongoing rumor about a big promotion coming up among the junior associates, and it was the talk of the moment. Hell, some people were even betting on who would get it, and whether it came with a window office and a decent parking space. As in betting with money on it.
And, of course, like any other promotion, it would come with a significant raise in salary.
“If he wins,” you admitted reluctantly, “he’ll probably be promoted. Yes.” And this was not the first big case that Hyunjin was given in the past few months, which meant nothing good for you.
Your assigned intern clicked his tongue, shaking his head. You let silence fill the immediate area, but you could hear conversations in the distance and a lot of frantic typing on keyboards. You recognized the usual ambiance before the Monday morning meetings—everybody getting ready for it, reviewing their files, catching up on stuff with others if they had to.
“But what about you?” Jeongin questioned. “What case did they give you, miss? Is it a good one? What if it’s a case that could make your career, too?”
You hadn’t even thought about it, too upset that you didn’t get the Kang/Seon case. You scrolled further on the page, looking for your name.
“The fuck?” You read the line one, two, three times. “THE FUCK?”
The words Kang/Seon were also written next to your name.
“But that’s great news!” Jeongin cheered, clapping his hands once as a sign of victory. “And two associates on the same case means it’s a lot more likely you will win the case!”
You stared at your screen, speechless. Unbelievable. Absolutely fucking crazy, actually, that they’d have you work on a case with Hwang. Hwang was known for being just about the worst when it came to teamwork, preferring the lone-wolf kind of lifestyle. He was sort of famous for it, too. For winning cases on his own when they should have been handled by two attorneys. He took great pride in that, walking around with a self-satisfied grin on his pretty face when he came back from the courthouse.
Seeing that you had been assigned to that case should have been good news. It should have made you excited. Instead, you had to take a few deep breaths to calm down and not cry minutes before the meeting, or else your mascara would be ruined.
You being on this case with Hwang only meant one thing: he would shine because he was the favored one. And you would be invisible, no matter what.
Could it be revenge? Could it be that Changbin had heard about the job offer you got from another firm and that he simply wanted you gone? You hadn’t said a definitive no to the other firm because their offices were closer to your place. But you liked working here. Most of the time anyway.
With a sigh, you grabbed your things, getting ready to make it to the conference room. “Let’s go to this meeting and get this over with.”
“Just a note about the new paralegals—please let them do some of the work.” Your boss’ smile faltered slightly as he spoke. Changbin sat opposite from you at the large conference table, but was addressing everyone. “Let them do more research, something, anything. If management keeps thinking we don’t need them, they’ll cut my budget even more.” The declaration was received with a few faint chuckles around the table, but you could barely hear anything that was going on.
Click click. Click click. Click click.
Click click. Click click.
Also sitting opposite of you but farther down the table was Hwang Hyunjin, always with that smug expression on his pretty face, fidgeting relentlessly with his retractable pen. Click click. Click click. Click click. He chuckled with the others at Changbin’s comment, his stupidly broad shoulders shaking with his frankly derisive laughter. You glared at him, crossing your arms over your chest and taking a few deep breaths. Click click. Click click.
“Can you stop that?” The words blurted out of your mouth before you could stop them—not that you wanted to stop them anyway. “Can you stop?”
Hyunjin raised a pair of amused eyes at you. He had the eyes of a doll, and perfect eyebrows, too. His nose was just as perfect, but everybody knew Hwang Hyunjin had the best pair of lips in the whole office. Including himself—he was very aware of the way he looked, and the effect he had on people.
He ran his fingers through his short, thick hair, and it fell back into place perfectly, as though he was freshly out of the hair salon. God’s favorite, truly. “Stop what?” he retorted, tilting his head to the side with a grin on his face. “I’m literally just sitting.”
You tsked him. “You know exactly. The pen. Please stop playing with it. We’re trying to work here.”
Hyunjin smacked his pretty perfect lips together, observing you. Warmth spread all over your face—Changbin had stopped talking and all the attention was on you. Hyunjin had the kind of eyes that really studied people, too, and it always felt as though he could read them. You had once speculated that he could genuinely read minds, which had sent you into an immediate panic—you did not want him to know everything going through your head.
Hyunjin had another chuckle, more amused this time. His eyes, briefly, turned into crescents. “Well, I’m so very sorry ma’am for disturbing your peace. I shall cease this activity right this second. Ma’am.” With that sarcastic retort, he dramatically let go of the pen and placed it next to his unopened notebook. He always brought a notebook with him although he exclusively used his laptop to take notes, and you suspected the fancy leather-bound journal was just for show.
Ma’am?! You wanted nothing more than to insult him to his face and, for once, make him see that he was not the main character, despite him obviously feeling like he was. But the many pairs of eyes on you were more than enough to pacify you. You had been assigned a big case, and even though you were partnered up with that prick, you needed to be professional if you wanted any sort of positive outcome for yourself.
You cleared your throat, swallowing the fuck you that you so badly wanted to spit at Hyunjin. “Thank you so very much for your cooperation, sir. From the bottom of my heart. I profoundly enjoy being able to hear and focus on what my boss has to say, you see—just a stupid habit of mine. Sir.”
You sat straight in your chair, turning away from Hyunjin before you could even see what face he was making. Changbin seemed amused by the situation, concealing a laugh into a fist over his mouth. To his left, Felix, a senior associate, was also avoiding eye contact so as not to laugh openly. The interns show a little more restraint, but not by much.
Changbin coughed, wiping a tear off the corner of his eye. “Okay, last order of business before someone ends up with a pen in their eye—the Kang/Seon case. Sir and Ma’am, I assume you know the basics of the case. What’s the angle here?”
Thanks to Hyunjin’s annoyingly attractive nonchalance, you managed to speak before him.
“Well, it’s quite evident that there was a certain bias, so I think we should state that Mr. Kang took the job because of his involvement in the company, fully aware of the situation,” you replied. “To make it seem like he’s some sort of fanboy.”
Changbin took a few notes on his phone. “Interesting. Hyunjin?”
Hyunjin let out a snort.“Obviously, our best approach is to deny everything. It’s not like Kang doesn’t have several millions to invest—his financial involvement with Seon might appear significant to us, but in reality, it’s nothing for this guy. Who cares?”
The audacity. Hyunjin stared at you from his chair, raising his eyebrows and shrugging with a stupid smile on his face. You chewed on your bottom lip, annoyed to no end. If looks could kill, you’d be staring at a dead body at this instant. It was as though you were in purgatory and Hyunjin had been sent to test you. He could not be more your exact opposite.
“As we go into this case, you guys are gonna have to pretend like you consulted each other once in a while, okay?” Changbin commented, but he didn’t seem mad. A corner of his lips was curved into a half smile. “I actually like both of these angles, which doesn’t help anybody here. But since it’s our first case of the sort, I arranged for you two to meet with some of my friends from down south tomorrow. They’ve dealt with a lot of similar cases, and they agreed to lend a hand as a gesture of friendship for me. We met in law school, and they’re good people.”
“Damn, I haven’t seen Chris and Ji in forever, I’m actually jealous!” Felix protested with a large smile on his bright face. “If I wasn’t so busy with the Nam case, I’d go along.”
“Well, I need you on the Nam case,” Changbin pointed out. “Besides, I’m certain that these two can come to an agreement.” Your boss spoke directly to you and Hyunjin in alternance. “Don’t embarrass me. Hyunjin, don’t fucking play with your pens and shit. And you,” he added, turning to you, “work on your acting. It’d be great if you didn’t look like you’re about to commit murder during dinner, or worse—in front of the judge.”
Oh, fantastic. You didn’t need psychic powers to know you were about to have an awful next couple of days. Maybe this really was a test, not necessarily from God, but from your boss. What if this was his way to verify your loyalty to the firm? By forcing you to work with your—and there really was no other way to put it—enemy? Maybe he thought that if you did stay after that, you were a solid attorney and human being, and worth investing in.
Or maybe Changbin just really enjoyed watching you lose your temper. In which case he must have had a blast during the meeting.
“Wonderful,” Hyunjin said flatly, his large eyes on you. “I so cannot wait to work with you, ma’am.”
He had a death wish, didn’t he? He had to. Why else would he have such nerve? As though being pretty and tall gave him every right.
“I’m so looking forward to this,” you replied with the exact same voice. “Sir.”
Changbin gave the wooden table a gentle slap. “If you guys promise to behave, I’ll make sure you stay in a great hotel with a hot tub! Four stars and all!”
It literally did not matter the number of stars—you were going to hate this. Nothing that could possibly happen would make working with Hwang even a little bit more pleasant.
“Can you check again?”
“I just checked three times, miss. I’m very sorry, but the only reservation I have in your name is for the one room.” The hotel receptionist gave you yet another contrite look. “Under the names Hwang Hyunjin and Y/LN Y/N.”
You felt panic take over you, looking everywhere around you. The lobby of the hotel was impressive, as promised by Changbin. The whole hotel was furnished in a very modern style but with elegant ornate details. You knew one thing—you couldn’t afford to pay for a room here with your own money. Actually, you feared that if you did use your credit card here, your bank would assume that your card had been stolen and would block the transaction. You were still paying your student debt, after all, and avoided spending large sums of money.
Behind you, Hyunjin cleared his throat, approaching for the first time since you had attempted to check-in. He rolled his fancy suitcase along with him, leaning his arm over the lavish counter, looking as dapper as always despite being fresh off the train. “There’s been a mistake,” Hyunjin argued with poise and a seducing smile. “We’re not a couple. I believe the person who took the reservation must have misunderstood.”
The hotel employee stared at Hyunjin a little longer than she needed to. She glanced at her computer before looking up again. “I’m truly sorry, Mr. Hwang, but it seems the reservation was made online, and that the honeymoon suite has been specifically requested.”
Hyunjin closed his eyes, clicking his tongue and pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “You’ve got to be shitting me…” he cursed under his breath. “Are there two beds in the room?”
The employee blinked a few times. “It is the honeymoon suite, Mr. Hwang.”
You stared behind you, where a line of a few other clients was starting to form, and they didn’t look particularly patient. “Can’t you just get another room?” you asked Hyunjin in a low voice, leaning closer to him.
He looked appalled. “Why me? My name came first on the reservation, I think I should keep it.”
“That’s so fucking childish!” You let out an irritated sigh. “You and your fancy-ass suits can definitely afford a room!”
Hyunjin shook his head. “If you think I’m so fancy, why shouldn’t I get the good room? Get one of the basic ones, it’s just one night, who gives a shit?”
The receptionist interrupted you before you could even reply to him. “I’m very sorry, but we are fully booked for the night—there are two conventions currently going on in the city. If I may—the honeymoon suite had been booked as of a few days ago, as there was a last-minute cancellation. I can only assume that whoever made the reservation for you did not have any other choice. I’m truly sorry, but as of right now, I cannot offer you another room.”
Fucking great. You grunted, shoving your hand into the pocket of your jacket to retrieve your phone, unsure of what you even wanted to do. Maybe you wanted to look for another hotel—if they even had anything available nearby. Maybe you wanted to call Changbin. But then you caught a glimpse of what time it actually was.
“Shit, Hwang. We gotta sort this out, we have to be at dinner in an hour.” Changbin had also made a reservation in a restaurant right by the hotel. Unless he had somehow messed this up as well. “What do we do? I wanted to shower and get ready…”
Hyunjin grunted softly and turned to the receptionist again. “Can we please get the keycards? But I’ll make sure to get to the bottom of this.”
The receptionist seemed relieved when she handed you your keycards. You and Hyunjin took off, walking at a quick pace toward the nearest elevator.
“I’ll make sure to get to the bottom of this,” you said in a perfect imitation of Hyunjin just moments ago. “Is your middle name Karen or something, Hwang?”
“Oh, fuck you.” Hyunjin frantically pushed the elevator button, as if it would make it go any faster. “There’s no way Changbin actually booked the honeymoon suite for a business trip.”
“And yet he did.” The elevator made it to you with a ding. When the door slid open, you let people walk out of it, often shooting glances at your phone to look at the time.
“I mean—yes, he booked it, but it was a prank. Against me. I’m willing to bet Minho is in on it.”
“The big boss? In on it?” You scoffed, walking into the elevator. “And you’re on a first-name basis with him?”
Hyunjin shrugged. “We went for beers after I won the Jung vs. Kwon case a few months back. He’s pretty cool once you get to know him.”
You watched the numbers on the elevator screen as they went up. So Hyunjin was friendly with Mr. Lee himself. That wasn’t nothing—Mr. Lee had founded the firm along with Mr. Kim.
God, so this was all a joke. The case, this partnership. It was a fucking joke—and you were a goddamn clown. There was no way Hwang wasn’t getting that promotion if he was an ass-kisser. Which, in hindsight, shouldn’t have surprised you nearly as much as it did.
“Minho is very meticulous, checks everything that goes on in the company. Obviously, Changbin would have needed to explain why he booked a honeymoon suite for this trip. They must have had a blast planning this. They like pranks.”
They like pranks, as though the three of them had shared a womb or something. “Ha. Ha. Ha. I’ve never seen anything that funny in my entire life.” You sighed, relieved to see the elevator had made it to your floor. “Whatever. Let’s just get ready for dinner. We should also talk about what we’re gonna tell these guys.”
You tried to keep up with him in the hallway, but Hyunjin’s long legs made him much more efficient at walking than you, and he was always several steps ahead.
“Talk? About what?”
Was he even for real? “About the fucking case, Hwang! What else?”
Hyunjin bit into his smile, pulling out his keycard from a pocket of his jeans and unlocking the door with it. “Why would we talk? Let’s present our angles to them. They’re the consultants. They’ll advise us. May the best attorney win.”
If you weren’t in such a hurry, you would actually open your mouth and reply with something witty. Instead, you simply followed him into the room and closed the door behind you.
The room was large and luxurious. The bedroom was separated from the rest of the room by a wall but it had no door, just an entrance to it. There was, however, a hot tub at the far end of the main room, right by the wide windows from which you could see the sunset. Everything was very clean, and very classy—exactly as promised by Changbin. Except that now that you were thinking about it, he had never explicitly promised two rooms… Prank or not, he would hear your thoughts on the matter as soon as this meeting was over.
There was a couch on the opposite corner of the hot tub. Both you and Hyunjin were staring at it. “Maybe one of us could sleep on the couch,” you offered. Not that you would have been happy to spend a whole night in the same room as Hyunjin.
“I guess it makes sense,” Hyunjin replied with a shrug. “We’ll have to write down our thoughts and cross-check our notes together after dinner anyway, it’ll be too late to find another hotel or something. Whatever, I don’t care.” If he did care, it didn’t show—the Hwang nonchalance was unmatched, as always.
You did a quick tour of the room—the bathroom was nice and spacious, with one of those really fancy showers that had all sorts of attachments and jets to them. When you returned, Hyunjin was on his way to the bedroom.
“What are you doing?”
Hyunjin didn’t even look behind him. He rolled his suitcase into the bedroom and removed his jacket before stretching his shoulders and neck. “What do you mean? I’m getting ready, same as you.”
“But why are you over there? In the bedroom? Aren’t you going to sleep on the couch?” Had he never heard of the concept of chivalry?
This time, Hyunjin did turn his head to look at you. He was squinting. “Why should I get the couch?”
“Because in books or in movies, dudes always offer to take the couch and they let the girl sleep in the bed!”
Hyunjin burst into laughter. “Oh my god, what’s next? Do I also need to put my jacket on your shoulders? Do I need to carry an umbrella for you?”
What an insufferable asshole. “Fuck you, Hwang. You know what? I’ll sleep on the couch because I’m not a spoiled brat like you.”
“That has got to be the dumbest fucking thing I ever heard. Honest.”
“Then you must not have heard yourself speak very often.”
“Oh my god, just shut up.” With that, you left him by the door frame of his bedroom and went to the couch to take a few things out of your suitcase.
At least, the couch was excessively comfortable, and you also found a couple of clean blankets in a closet. You managed to find the cocktail dress you intended to wear for dinner as well as your accessories and shoes. While you were getting everything ready, Hyunjin went towards the bathroom.
At the last second, he dramatically slapped his forehead and swirled to face you. “Shit! I forgot! I was going to wash up, but maybe it’s required by law that I let you get the first shower since you’re a girl. Tell me—law school was forever ago—should I also lie on the tile so that you can use me as a shower mat? Are dudes required to do that?”
You very seriously considered throwing him the shoe that you were holding. “You’d like that too fucking much, Hwang.”
He disappeared into the bathroom with a heartfelt laugh. You chuckled as well—at least, sometimes, his banter could be funny, no matter how annoying he was.
The restaurant was nice—it was actually a fancy cocktail bar right by the boardwalk, and it had a nice view of the sea, too. You made it in time for dinner, and met with Changbin’s friends—Chris and Jisung.
Chris had a warm, dimpled smile and kind eyes. He laughed easily and made you comfortable immediately. Jisung was a little more introverted, but just as kind, and eager to know everything about your current case. Still, you ordered some drinks and appetizers to get to know each other. “Let’s drink and eat a lot, it’s all on Changbin’s card!” Chris pointed out, which caused the rest of you to laugh a little too much, but you and Hyunjin especially. Chris wasn’t wrong—maybe this would be your way to get back at your boss somehow.
You focused on the case two drinks in. It was a business meeting but it unfolded more like a friendly discussion. Chris and Jisung were both knowledgeable on cases such as yours and they actually recounted many of them to you and Hyunjin. You took as many notes as you could on your phone and noticed that Hyunjin did the same. A pleasant surprise—you had imagined he was the kind of guy to be chatty but to get very little work done. However, he asked good questions and was even polite.
Maybe the drinks were doing him some good. He was certainly loosening up a little, as though his usual self was only a facade, or something exaggerated. That didn’t necessarily surprise you—maybe he was a little bit of a hypocrite, acting all cool and pretentious at work, but being just a regular guy in his personal life. Maybe he felt like he needed to have a strong personality to match his good looks.
You immediately connected with Chris, perhaps because he was sitting closest to you and had ordered the same meal as you. Damn, I have no choice but to order the same thing now, or else I’ll be wanting to eat off your plate!
You took a lot of notes while waiting for the food, drinking another gin and lemonade. Jisung and Hyunjin were talking about their respective schools—despite not studying at the same university, they had had a professor in common and he was known to be just about the worst. Their anecdotes were funny and made you grateful that you had gone to the school you did.
Eventually, though, Chris slid his chair a little closer to you to strike up a conversation while the other two were reminiscing. He told you about his most successful case in another conflict of interest situation, except this time it had been about somebody being given personal information they perhaps shouldn’t have due to their bias. It was in a medical context too, which made everything even more interesting since you had briefly considered going into medical law.
“I can’t believe you won that one,” you admitted, impressed. You leaned back into your chair, raising your glass at Chris respectfully and taking a sip from it. “Good work.”
Chris was a humble guy. He made a dismissive motion of his hand. “It was an interesting case, that’s all—I don’t want you to think I told you all about it to brag! Soon enough, it’ll be you guys retelling the story of your case and how you won it because you found just the perfect angle.”
Without saying a word, you and Hyunjin looked at each other over the table. Yeah, the perfect angle…
Jisung, however, didn’t skip a beat. “So how do you guys intend on approaching this anyway? What’s the plan?” He took a bite from his lemon chicken, looking at you, then Hyunjin, then you again.
You took a sip from your drink, then another. For the first time since you had met him, Hyunjin seemed to have nothing to say, despite both Chris and Jisung waiting eagerly for more details.
You cleared your throat. “We, huh, disagree on the best course of action,” you admitted, and maybe you would have worded that differently if you were sober, but you were not sober. “Hwang thinks there is no conflict of interest, that there’s not even a case to be had. I, on the contrary, believe we shouldn’t shy away from it. If Kang appreciated the business over at Seon’s, he did, and that is all—who knows what proof of that the opposition has? I just think it’s too risky to pretend there’s nothing there. I’d rather go for the it was all in good faith angle.”
It was Chris and Jisung’s turn to exchange a quiet glance, but not for long—both of them laughed softly, shaking their heads and drinking more to wash down the food as they laughed.
Hyunjin frowned, and you saw the arrogant prick in him make a grand return. “What’s so funny about it?”
Chris, seeing that Hyunjin was upset, dipped his head politely, but his smile was just as wide as it had been. “Oh, no, no, it’s not like that, sorry!” he apologized with a wink for you. “It’s just that you guys are just like us.”
“We disagree all the time,” Jisung confirmed with a stern nod. “It’s frustrating as hell at first, but that means Changbin was right to put you two together on the same case. He’ll probably do it more in the future, too. Disagreements like these lead to better results—you’re unlikely to miss details if you keep working like that. It’s good.”
“It’s very good,” Chris added. “Unless the parties are too proud—then that makes things complicated… but you guys seem good, yeah?”
It took every single atom of your being not to scoff derisively at Chris’ comment. Instead, you made yourself breathe and drink some more. You noticed from the corner of your eye that Hyunjin was doing the same thing.
“I think they just want to have our opinion on it,” Jisung pointed out, elbowing Chris playfully.
Chris nodded slowly, his smile turning softer, almost endeared, as he stared at the both of you. When his gaze fell on you, it lingered on your face but quickly trailed down to your mouth and then below your neck. You tensed up—it was impossible not to notice that he was checking you out—and blushed violently, but tried to conceal it by hiding your face behind your glass as you drank more and more. Chris was an excessively charming guy, funny, handsome, very intelligent. He talked a lot but he was also a good listener.
You couldn’t deny that it flattered you that he was checking you out.
“You guys are about to be disappointed,” Chris admitted with a chuckle. “Because—and I’m certain of it—Jisung would probably agree with Hyunjin. And me, I would agree with our lovely lady here. So I’m afraid we are not of much help.”
Lovely lady. The red on your face turned crimson, and now your glass was empty so there was no concealing it. Chris dragged his tongue on his bottom lip, eyeing you carefully.
“But you would have to agree though,” Hyunjin insisted, leaning over the table almost as though he wanted to grab Chris’ whole attention. “Like, at some point, you’d have to decide on something, right?”
“We would, but it would take several hours of discussion and case study,” Jisung explained. “We’d have endless debates on it, and, after some time—a week, two weeks, a month even—one of us would admit that the other is right and that we have the better chance to win this case with this or that angle. But no stone would have been left unturned in the process of getting there, ensuring the better outcome.”
“Those cases take time,” Chris said. “It’s still too early to come to an agreement, but we’ll keep in touch.” He turned to you, pulling a business card from the inner pocket of his thin blazer, along with a pen. On the underside of the card, he quickly scribbled another number. “That’s my personal phone. Feel free to call or text at any time,” he added, handing you the card. He put it in your hand, his fingers gently caressing yours, sending shivers down your spine.
For a minute, you imagined flirting back, you imagined finishing up dinner and going to the bar section to have a nice, intimate time with Chris. You’d ask him about his personal life and him about yours. Both of you single and too busy with work to really cultivate any sort of relationship. He’d make a point to touch you, a brush of the arm, maybe going as far as pushing your hair behind your ear. He might kiss you even, and you’d kiss him back, and invite him back to your hotel room. Except that your hotel room was the honeymoon suite which you shared with Mr. Asshole. Maybe Chris would ask you to come to his place, but he had mentioned he lived on the other side of the city, and you had an early train tomorrow morning…
You sighed, swallowing your short-lived fantasy of a steamy, passionate one-night stand with the handsome attorney. Instead, you made yourself smile, sliding the card in your purse. It felt strange not to, so you handed him one of your business cards in exchange for his. “Thank you so much, Chris. And—you guys have helped more than you think. It’s reassuring to know that divergence of opinions can actually be helpful. I think I’ll go back to the hotel—we’re leaving early tomorrow and there’s a lot of work to be done.”
Chris stared at your lips for a few seconds. “Sure thing. You call me if you need anything, yeah?” He offered you one of those bright warm smiles. “It was a pleasure meeting you. Maybe we’ll work on a case together someday!”
You also said your goodbyes to Jisung who eagerly shook your hand, and then you walked away. Hyunjin could spend the entire night with them for all you cared, but all of a sudden, the realization that a fun night with Chris wouldn’t be possible had been too disappointing, and you didn’t want any of these guys to see it on you.
If she were here, your best friend would tell you that you had just self-sabotaged yourself, that there would have been nothing wrong with spending a little more time alone with Chris. She would remind you that you were a lonely, overworked woman and that you needed to get your shit together or else you would never find a partner. Not if you don’t let anyone in, she had told you some time ago. And maybe she was right—you did agree with her on that, but you didn’t want to think about this part of your life. Not now, not while you were just starting to work on your most important case so far in your short career as an attorney.
The night was cooler than it had been earlier and you found yourself wishing that you had brought a jacket with you. Instead, you walked faster, hoping to catch the pedestrian signal before it turned off at the intersection—unfortunately, you didn’t make it in time and had to wait by the road leading you to your hotel.
“Hey, hold up!”
You let out a disgruntled sigh when you heard Hyunjin’s voice behind. Part of you had hoped that he would have stayed with the other guys for quite a while, leaving you some privacy.
When the pedestrian signal came on again, you didn’t wait—you simply began crossing the street. Hyunjin caught up with you easily. “Damn, you really are in a hurry,” he pointed out, walking beside you. You hugged your arms, seeking some warmth, keeping your gaze on the hotel ahead of you. “You okay there?”
You swallowed. “I’m fine.” Then, imagining it was obvious that something was troubling you, you decided to add, “It’s just a little cool, that’s all.”
Hyunjin did not hesitate. “Ah, that’s right. You’re a girl, I’m a boy and there are laws about that sort of thing. Hold on.” Before you knew it, Hyunjin had removed his blazer and carefully placed it on your shoulders. It warmed you up immediately—the fabric was warm from him, who seemed to keep a high body temperature most of the time. It also smelled nice, and you realized you had never paid much attention to Hyunjin’s smell before. “There, ma’am. I am at your service. What else might I do for you?”
“I’m fine,” you insisted, annoyed with his arrogant, sarcastic tone. You took the blazer off and handed it back to him. He held it over his shoulder with two fingers, exactly the way the male love interest would in a K-drama. You figured that Hyunjin must actually believe he was the main character in everyone’s life.
Hyunjin let one second pass, not more. “He really was shooting his shot, wasn’t he? Chris, I mean.”
You shrugged as you made it to the sidewalk on the other side of the road. “Why do you care?”
It was Hyunjin’s turn to sigh. “Well, it wasn’t very professional of him to hit on you during a business meeting.”
You pressed your lips together, repressing a smile. “You’re just jealous because he agreed with my angle.”
“Jisung agreed with mine.”
“But Chris is the senior.”
“Doesn’t mean shit to me,” Hyunjin retorted, now walking faster than you, as though he was racing you to the hotel. “Age is just a number.”
Despite his rapid walking, you caught up with Hyunjin in the hotel lobby as he stood by the elevators. Neither of you said a word as you waited. Your mind was fuzzy from the drinks, from the food, from the scent of Chris’ cologne lingering in your nose… no, that was Hyunjin’s. It was just the two of you in the elevator, and it was strong, smokey, and vaguely floral with sweet and amber undertones. It stuck to your skin, to your dress, all that from the two seconds it had been on your body. Breathing deeply didn’t help you at this moment, so you waited until you were back in the hallway to do so. It eased some of your tension, but it certainly didn’t make you any less tipsy than you were.
The room was just as you had left it. You quickly got out of your heels, relieving your feet, but were overcome with the need to wash up—would that scent follow you even after? Perhaps it wouldn’t, not if Hyunjin also washed up.
You didn’t ask for permission and simply locked yourself in the bathroom. You tied your hair into a bun and got under the fancy shower, letting the warm water wash your worries away and, with them, Hyunjin’s scent. You felt a little better after despite being rather troubled still, and dried yourself before getting into more comfortable clothes—shorts and a tank top. Of course, you hadn’t planned on having to share the room with Hyunjin, but if he was indisposed by your outfit in any sort of way, he was welcome to look somewhere else.
You found him sitting at the table with his laptop. He didn’t even glance at you but left for the bathroom when you sat with your own computer to clean up the notes you had taken over dinner. There were a lot of them and they were all messy, so it was best to do this right now before you forgot too much about your evening.
You heard a text notification from your device while you were typing on your laptop but ignored it. Either it was Chris and that would disappoint you even further after your ruined night, or it was Changbin checking up on you to verify the potency of his prank, and despite him being your boss, you wouldn’t be able not to be rude. So you did not look at your notifications—to save yourself the trouble.
Hyunjin, much like you, had showered the evening away. He returned to the table in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. “I like to go to bed feeling clean,” he even told you, and you nodded in agreement while going over your notes. “Aren’t you cold though? There are robes in the bedroom if you’d like.”
You didn’t feel like hearing his relentless nagging. “I was only cold outside. I’m fine.”
“We could fire up the hot tub,” he added. His tone was lighthearted and he was typing as he said it, so you knew he didn’t mean it and you just let it go.
The next few minutes were quiet, only punctuated by the sounds of typing and the occasional sigh from either of you. You found that working alongside Hyunjin was not so awful when he didn’t talk. You also noticed his leather-bound notebook by his laptop—every page was filled with paragraphs of his tiny handwriting. It also contained several doodles, or rather, sketches. They weren’t bad at all. Flowers, a chair… you recognized the coffee machine on the second floor from the office. The back of a woman’s head and her shoulders… so he did use the notebook after all. Why only use it in private? You almost wanted to ask him, but figured it was none of your business anyway. All that you’d get would be a sarcastic, witty, and unpleasant response.
Sometimes, he would hum the melody of a song heard on the radio earlier at the restaurant, and his voice was pleasant, albeit a little distracting—you had just made a major breakthrough in your notetaking and were frantically typing before you could forget everything.
Maybe Changbin had been right after all—well, not about the honeymoon suite—but about having them come here to meet Chris and Jisung. Maybe your and Hyunjin’s angles could be combined, maybe the true defense wasn’t so much in Kang’s motivations but in the actual wording of your debate and the logic behind it. It would require a lot more coaching of your witnesses to make sure they didn’t use the wrong words and tone during their testimony, but it could be done.
“Hey, I—” you started, but as if on cue, Hyunjin was already pushing himself up and heading toward the mini fridge in the room. You watched as he opened it, stared at its contents for a few instants, and grabbed a handful of those miniature liquor bottles before returning to his laptop. “You gonna work drunk?”
He shrugged. “I’m already almost drunk.” He didn’t look too pleased, as though whatever he was looking at on his screen caused him some serious irritation. “It’s just a big case and I’m tired. And before you come for me, I know that liquor won’t help me be less tired or more focused, but it’s just what I want right now.” With this, he slid a couple of bottles toward you and opened one for himself.
You twisted one Hennessy and drank a large gulp from it. It was crisp and cold and strangely refreshing. You took a second sip, savoring this one while you stared at Hyunjin at the other side of the table. He had never admitted to you that this case was difficult. In fact, he had never admitted that anything in his life ever caused him any kind of issues. You figured that his tipsy state must make him more inclined to say the truth.
“Want to look at my notes?” you suggested, and it was an honest offer.
He didn’t even look at you, slamming one empty whiskey on the table while scrolling on his laptop. “Don’t need to.”
You repressed a chuckle, although there was nothing humorous about the situation—after all, if Hyunjin struggled, it meant you would struggle at some point too. No matter how annoying he was, he was still assigned to the same case as you. “I think I found an angle, though.”
Hyunjin looked at you over his computer while he unscrewed another bottle. “What kinda angle?”
“Exactly the kinda angle that would be a compromise between your idea and mine.”
You studied him while he tasted some spiced rum, his deep gaze, his traits so handsome that he didn’t look real. Perhaps this was why he had annoyed you from the very beginning. Literally, since you two had been hired on the same day. Because he looked too good to be real. Nobody should look like that, it was frustrating. No, infuriating. Those lips, too, and the way he wrapped them around the bottle to drink…
God, I need to get my shit together. You straightened up into your chair, finishing your Hennessy in one last swig. “You think Changbin will pay for that?” you questioned with a frown. “I doubt that the hotel minibar was part of the deal…”
At this, though, Hyunjin did chuckle, almost choking on his bourbon. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “He better fucking pay up, I’ll tell you this. I’d love to see Seo Changbin—or even Lee Minho—try and charge me for it.” He burst into full-on laughter, and although you could recognize that it was a bit of a nervous chortle, you laughed with him.
“Yes, yes, of course. It’s not like they could fire you or anything. Since you’re like, besties with Minho.”
Hyunjin let his laugh die down and stared at you intently with just the hint of a squint. He drank bourbon and licked his lips dry. He scoffed for himself only.
“What’s so funny?” you inquired, keeping the empty bottle in your hand just in case you needed to throw it at him. And you would. You really would if he gave you a reason to.
“Nothing. I’m just trying to decide if you’re drunk or jealous.”
You grunted, wrapping your fingers a little more tightly around the bottle. If it weren’t for Hyunjin’s phone that rang, he would have gotten that empty Hennessy launched straight on that pretty face of his.
It was a text message, which he read and put his phone back on the table with the screen down. For some reason that annoyed you to no end.
It might have been the Hennessy, it might have been the gin at the restaurant, or the fact that he looked annoyingly good and nonchalant, sprawled on his chair, with his long ass legs in these stupid fucking gray sweatpants—in any case, you couldn’t not say something. You didn’t even try to stay calm either. “Who the fuck is texting you at this hour of the night anyway? Is one of your several booty calls missing you or something?”
Hyunjin slammed the empty bourbon on the table just a centimeter next to the empty whiskey. He stood, and for a moment you thought he was just leaving for his bed, but instead he took a step toward you, resting his elbows on the table. He was close enough that you could smell the hotel’s fancy body wash on him and the liquor on his breath. “And that’s how I became a successful attorney? Because I have all this extra time to fuck as many girls as I want? You know what, I think you actually are jealous.” He leaned forward, a smirk painting itself on his full lips. “Do you think I have two, three girls on my cock every night, baby? Is that it? You want some of th—”
In your whole life, you had rarely experienced such whiplash as you did at that moment. You sprung to your feet, enraged. “BABY?” You let out a growl, pushing two fingers into his chest when he dared come any closer to you.
Hyunjin rolled his eyes with a click of his tongue. “Relax. Ma’am. The text was just Chris saying he’ll swing by tomorrow morning to talk about the case again… but he also asked why you ignored his text. I think the Aussie misses you already. You should call him, maybe he’s jerking off thinking about you as we speak.”
“You’re fucking classless, Hwang.” You nudged him away, but he barely moved. He just stared at you. And at your tits. “My eyes are up here, by the way.” You had to be drunk because there was no way you would be this bold if you weren’t. “I think you’re the jealous one here. Are you all pissy because he wants the same toy as you? Spoiled prick.”
Hyunjin towered over you, his boozy breath caressing your face softly. “You call me a spoiled prick, but you’re the one acting all weird.”
“All weird? The fuck? You’re the weird one, talking about girls on your cock and shit. As if I cared about that? Or is that how you flirt with girls? You quite literally have the biggest ego I’ve ever fucking seen.”
This seemed to strike a chord. Hyunjin’s body language switched from annoyed to straight-up pissed off. He suddenly grabbed his crotch—really grabbed it, too—and spoke louder than you had ever heard him do. “Oh, you wanna see something big, baby?”
You slapped him. In the face. You weren’t able to control it—in fact, it felt as though you were witnessing something that you were not a part of, and yet you felt it, his skin underneath your hand. You had never seen him reach this level of cockiness before, and Hyunjin seemed to be able to bring out a very specific type of rage within you. Who did he think he was?
And yet it shocked you just as much as it shocked him—you gasped loudly, retreating your hand immediately. Hyunjin frowned, reaching for his cheek where his skin was turning pink. He stared at you, dumbfounded, the silence in the room heavier than his gaze. You stared at him too. Back and forth, eyes dancing over the other. His lips. Your lips. Below your neck. His raw cheek. Below your neck again. His lips. Your lips.
Hyunjin cocked his head to the side, his eyes unfocused, leaning rapidly closer to you. For a second, you thought he was about to retaliate, but something else entirely happened.
He put his large hands on your arms and pinned you to the wall to kiss you hard. It took your brain a second or two to process that—your back on the wall, the impact of it. The impact of his mouth on yours, devouring you, his lips warm and wet and eager. You kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. His mouth tasted a lot like liquor and maybe a little like regret, but he was fucking yours with his tongue and it made you moan.
He pulled away for a second and you could breathe again, your head falling back, exposing your neck to him. He buried his face there and you ran your fingers through his hair. It was silky, soft, it felt good to touch but not better than his mouth leaving scorching kisses all over your neck and exposed shoulders, nibbling at you, sucking your skin. That fucking mouth of his. Sassy, arrogant. Pretty. Leaving bite marks and hickeys all over you.
Hyunjin grunted when you tried to pull him back up for more kisses. “Let me,” he protested, leaving a trail of spit on your throat. “I want Chris to see you like that tomorrow. Marked. Claimed.”
“You really are a prick,” you retorted, but you let go of his hair to slide your hands underneath Hyunjin’s shirt. His skin was hot to the touch. You pulled him closer, feeling him underneath your fingertips. His toned abdomen, his strong body. “I fucking hate you.”
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing personal,” Hyunjin said, still busy down your neck. He pushed you flush to the wall, leaving no space between your body and his, cupping your breasts in his big hands while his lips played with the skin on your throat. “I hate you just as much, but you look fuckable as hell. Just look at those tits.”
You bit your lip, repressing a whimper. Already, warmth was pooling at your core and you felt less and less strength in your legs. You held onto him, resting your forehead on his collarbone. Hyunjin pulled your tank top down, exposing you to him, allowing him to kiss you there too. He played with your nipples, swirling his tongue around them, lapping at them, sucking onto them, leaving them swollen and flushed.
You found the waistband of his sweatpants and tugged at it, causing Hyunjin to moan while he squeezed your breasts, his hands too big for them almost, but agile nonetheless. In no time, you shoved your hand in his pants, cupping him—he was hard already, his cock straining against the fabric of his underwear. Your knees almost gave out as you palmed him, really taking in the feeling of him. His cock was big. Big enough to make your pussy throb.
Hyunjin pressed his lips on yours again, groaning into your mouth while you were rubbing him over his boxers. Feeling him grinding onto your palm sent electricity throughout your entire body and it settled between your legs, becoming a distracting pressure.
“You’re liking this huh? Baby?” Hyunjin smirked, rolling his hips, fucking himself onto your hand. “Can I call you baby? Or are you going to slap me again?”
You took his mouth, kissing him, squeezing his cock just a little too hard. Hyunjin bucked his hips, laying a hand flat on the wall behind you, his face flushed. For the first time ever, his hair was disheveled. It looked good on him, though. “Don’t pretend like you didn’t fucking like it,” you warned in between kisses. “Or I’ll just do it again and you’ll blow in my hand, right here, right now.” You weakly—and playfully—smacked his cheek.
Hyunjin inhaled you, your hair, your neck. You smelled him too, pleased to realize that despite his shower, the scent of his cologne lingered faintly on his skin. “Fuck you. I’d bet you’re soaked right now.”
“And what do you want to bet, handsome?”
You knew very well that he was right—you could feel yourself oozing into your shorts, you just wanted to see what he had in mind.
Hyunjin thought about it for a few seconds while playing with your tits, making them bounce in his hands or flicking at your nipples gently. Each caress, each touch, made you dizzier than the last. You could feel the warmth emanating from your body, and you wondered if he could feel it, too.
“If I touch your pussy right now and you’re wet, you let me cum inside you,” Hyunjin offered after considering his options. “Because then it just means I was right all along—you’re a fucking slut, no matter how hard you try to pass as a righteous bitch.”
You let go of his cock but not without another strong squeeze, causing him to hiss almost painfully. “Do your thing, Hwang.”
He snickered at you, wasting no time pushing your shorts to the side to feel you. His fingers found your soaked folds. He rubbed you, caressing you, coating his fingers with your slick. “Fucking hell…” he breathed. “No panties? You’re soaking into your shorts just like that? So I was right. You’re just a whore. You play hard to get but you leave the scent of your pussy everywhere you fucking go, don’t you?”
Hard to get? “Fuck you, Hwang.” But he kissed you again, pulling you with him toward the bedroom. You took his t-shirt off him and he did the same with your shorts.
The back of his knees hit the mattress and you both collapsed onto the bed with you on top of him, not breaking the kiss once while you tried to tug his sweatpants off him. You’d show him. You’d show that prick how hard to get you were.
You finally got rid of his pants, freeing his erection. He had left the bedside lamps on, allowing you to see his beautiful, smooth cock, as pretty as the rest of him. It was heavy, too, and big. You wrapped your hand around it while you climbed onto Hyunjin proper, resting your knees on either side of him.
“Told you it was big,” Hyunjin teased. “Can you even take it?”
Your hand traveled down his shaft, his base, finding his tight, straining balls. You fondled them while Hyunjin caressed your bare thighs with his large hands, his thumbs always stopping closer and closer to your pussy. You tilted your head. “Maybe you should chill with the nagging. I’m literally holding you by the balls.”
He shrugged. “Just raising concern for my colleague’s wellbeing.” He lifted his chin toward you. “Look at that pussy. So pretty and tight. I’ll fucking ravage you.”
Hyunjin used his knee to part your legs open, allowing him to see your glistening folds. He hissed, cupping you, rubbing your pussy with his palm, and pulling you in for another kiss. He was a good kisser. His mouth felt good so you relished just a little longer in the feeling of his languid kisses and his hand between your legs, teasing your clit and your hole.
You lowered your body, properly straddling him now, both your hands on his perfectly defined abdomen, his cock resting against your throbbing pussy. Carefully, you took him in your hand again, loving the feeling of it there, too, and curious to see how it would feel inside you. You propped yourself up, wasting no time guiding Hyunjin’s cock toward your entrance.
He was handsome, especially in that moment, as you pushed his tip into you. You gasped and whimpered and moaned as you sank down onto his cock, adjusting to his size. “Oh fuck…” Hyunjin’s hands traveled all over your body—your waist, your thighs, your tits, still spilling out of your tank top. “Fuck—”
He was bigger than your favorite dildo. Your breath hitching up, you kept sinking further down to take more and more of him, the stretch delightful. “Are you taking your time on purpose?” he sighed, sweat pearling on his forehead. “Fuck this, I’ll do it myself.” He slid his hands from your breasts to your hips, pushing you down, forcing you onto his cock. “Aaaahhh fuck, don’t clench so much—”
You both came to a stop when he bottomed out. You bit into your lower lip, pleasure taking over you just from the way his cock filled you. You adjusted your weight on him, placing your hands on his torso to keep your balance, and slowly rolled your hips.
It set you on fire. And him, too. You retreated a little, clenching involuntarily around his cock, and slammed onto him again, causing both of you to cry out. Again.
And again. You quickened up your pace, your movements made easier by how wet you were. Hyunjin grunted every time you rolled your hips, staring at the way his cock disappeared into you. “Fucking hell…” he managed, landing a gentle smack on your ass, not hard enough to sting. “You’re creaming me up real good.”
You leaned down to kiss him, his throat, his pretty collarbones. What a fucking jerk. You filled the room with your moans as you fucked yourself onto him, using him the same way you would use an inanimate toy, taking as much of his cock as you could, your pace relentless. You bit him the same way he had done to you earlier, tugging at his hair to expose his throat for you. “See how I take it?” you panted, rutting on him as though you were in heat, seeking more and more of this. You had never been filled like this before—every second was pure bliss. “See how I take that big cock of yours, Hwang?”
He looked unreal under you, your fist in his hair, hickeys all over his throat, his perfect body covered in sweat. He smirked at your remark and before you knew it, his hand found your face. He cupped it by your chin, pulling you closer until he was looking at you in the eyes. You were no longer in control. His slender fingers dug into your cheeks, but your brain did not register that sensation as painful. You clenched so hard around him that he growled.
“You really take me like a cock-hungry slut.” He released your face only so that he could hold your waist and fuck you from below, pushing himself deeper and deeper. “Isn’t that what you are, huh? Don’t you love the way I stretch your tight cunt? I didn’t know you were so horny…”
Hyunjin chuckled as he wrapped his arms around your body to roll you under him. You cried out when his large cock slipped out of your hole, humping into nothing. That cock was pure heroin. Addictive enough that you needed it. Again.
But he wouldn’t hear you beg, no. You’d rather die than beg Hwang Hyunjin.
“Look at you…” He was kneeling in between your legs, keeping them open for him. He reached for your pussy, caressing you very softly. “You’re all stretched, all puffy down there, baby… What a sight.”
You rolled your hips to rub yourself against his hand, chasing your high. You could feel it—a pressure, a storm swirling deep within your core, your pussy throbbing for it.
“Tut-tut, hold on. I said I was going to ravage you, but I want to play a little.” He grabbed one of the pillows and slid it underneath your lower back.
It took no time for the caresses on your cunt to start again, more insistent this time. He teased your hole with his skilled fingers, pushing two inside. The wet sound it made was lewd enough to make you clench hard on his digits.
He laughed. “Cute.” He moved his fingers inside you, massaging your walls very precisely. He knew what he was doing—soon enough, he twisted his wrist and curled his fingers to hit that one spot. The pressure rose within you and you could feel your pulse in your cunt. “Now, listen—in a little while you’re gonna feel like you have to pee. Don’t panic. Just relax,” Hyunjin said, his voice low and calm, but all that you could do was lie there and stare at him, his hard, leaking cock, flushed dark. His panting chest, his hair sticking to his face.
Hyunjin began finger-fucking you like a madman, pumping his fingers in and out of you, using his other hand to rub circles on your clit. Skin heating up, you held onto the sheets, to his arm, to yourself, but you were losing control. Every time Hyunjin pushed his fingers—now three—inside you, he hit the spot he needed to hit. Every. Single. Time.
“HYUNJIN!” You felt it. The pressure, rising fast, too fast.
Instead of pushing his fingers in and out of you now, Hyunjin pressed them on your g-spot, focusing there only, massaging you frantically. “Give it to me. Fucking give it to me, show me how much of a whore you are. Make a mess for me. I’ll give you my cock after. Come on, give it to me.”
You tried to keep your eyes open but your eyelids fluttered too hard, and it felt as though your soul was ascending away from your body. The finger-fucking, the relentless rubbing on your clit, the lewd squelching sounds, Hyunjin’s smooth voice…
You broke.
You felt it take over you. That storm, that heat. You arched into him and suddenly everything was very wet and the pressure was relieved immediately. You cried out, melting into the bed as you came, your walls fluttering, your mind blank. There was nothing except the waves of pleasure between your legs. Wet, warm. Hyunjin played with you until your breathing had returned almost to normal.
When you opened your eyes again, you found your thighs covered in your arousal. Hyunjin pulled his fingers out of your still-sensitive hole, bringing them to his lips to lick them clean.
“Did I—”
Hyunjin leaned over you to kiss you and you tasted yourself in his mouth. “You squirted like the pretty little slut you are, all over me, too,” he told you in between kisses. “Let’s see how you take my cock now that you’re fucked out.”
In just two seconds, you found yourself laying on your stomach, your ass propped up by the pillow on which your hips rested. Hyunjin pushed your legs open, rubbing his cock all over your soaked cunt. You whined into the mattress, using the last of your strength to look behind you. “Are you afraid to blow too fast or what? You know, some women consider premature ejaculation as a complim—”
You couldn’t finish your sentence—with a grunt, Hyunjin pushed his hard cock inside you, slamming into you, bottoming out in one thrust. You let out a cry, quivering under him. “Take me. That’s it. God, you’re so fucking wet…” Buried into you, Hyunjin fondled your tits, fucking you slowly at first, almost like he was getting used to it. “Like this? This is good?”
“Yes, yes, don’t stop. Don’t stop!” He was too slow. He was stretching your pussy and you loved it. “Fuck me, come on!”
You felt Hyunjin’s sweaty chest pressing itself onto your back as he forced his cock deeper within you. “Do you remember our little bet earlier?” he asked, whispering into your ear. “I’ll fill you real good. I’ll fill you so much that the other dude—the Australian—he’s gonna smell my cum on you tomorrow morning.”
It spilled from your lips before you could stop it. “Please,” you breathed, trapped in between the mattress and Hyunjin’s body. His weight on you was heavenly. “Just fuck me. Just fuck me, Hwang.”
And he fucked you.
He pounded into you, rolling his hips skillfully, taking up all the space within you. “That’s it, baby. You’re being such a good cocksleeve for me. Didn’t think you could take me like that. Suck on these for me, show me how you use that mouth.” He shoved a couple of his fingers into your mouth and you closed your lips around them. They tasted like sex, like your pussy. You moaned as you sucked off his digits, wishing he would let you do the same with his cock.
“Maybe once I get that office, you’ll have to come visit me there. Maybe I’ll make you kneel under my desk and I’ll fuck your throat just like I’m fucking you right now. Let those other guys smell my cock on your breath the rest of the day. You’d like that, huh?” He slammed into you again and again, frantically, desperately. “GOD, you are tight, don’t clench, don’t clench—”
But you couldn’t help it. You could feel the pressure rising again, overstimulated from all of it, from Hyunjin pumping his cock so hard inside you that you were certain he would bruise you. From the sound of his voice tickling your ear, his hot breath on your skin, your sweaty bodies entangled together, the wet noises of your flesh colliding.
Hyunjin fucked you into a sloppy, loud mess. You let out a series of staccato moans as he chased his high—he was so close that you could feel him twitch inside you—grabbing onto the sheets as though you could fall down the bed. “Oh god, that’s it—” he rasped, pulling his fingers from between your mouth to hold your waist, keeping you in place for him. “Take me, take me like that, take my cum—take all of it—” The rest of his sentence became inaudible as he lost himself in his bliss, burying his face into your hair.
His fucking became erratic, deeper, too, and you could feel yourself closer and closer to the edge. He was fucking you so hard that you were about to cum. “Don’t stop—don’t stop—don’t stop—” you panted, eyes rolling at the back of your head. You hated him for how easy it was for him to make you cum. Hated him for how fucking big his cock was, driving into you. You hated him for how good it felt, and how you loved the sensation of falling into a pit of lava, your entire body engulfed in wet heat.
You clenched around him, and it was over for Hyunjin. He snapped, arching into you, moaning and whimpering, hips stuttering as he sprayed his thick cum into you, pulsing around your snug heat. He fucked himself onto you, fucking his cum deeper inside you in powerful thrusts. “There’s so much cum baby, can you feel it?” he panted. “Such a sweet cunt you have. Cum for me again. Milk me, come on.”
But you were already cumming, dissolving into pleasure, into nothing, into the mattress. You came in a series of long, drawn-out moans, fluttering around his sensitive cock. He moaned with you, spilling the rest of his seed as you came, fucking you through your orgasm at a slow, languid pace, allowing you to really feel it. The waves of pleasure were strong, and they gently became ripples before they calmed down.
Neither of you moved for what might have been an hour. It took a while before Hyunjin managed to prop himself onto his hands and remove himself off you—a large amount of cum dripped out when he pulled his softening cock out of your swollen pussy. He lay next to you, staring at the ceiling.
“Bet you’ll still look fucked out tomorrow. I’m gonna text Chris and tell him to be here early,” Hyunjin said with a smile.
The whole room smelled like sweat, like sex and you liked it in a deranged way. “You’re very competitive,” you pointed out, still wildly out of breath. “I wasn’t gonna sleep with him, you know?”
“I don’t care.” Hyunjin rolled on his side to look at you. His eyes, much like yours, were sleepy but content. His pretty cock was glistening, coated in cum—both yours and his. “You know what? Keep the bed. You made a mess in it anyway, squirting all over it like the pretty whore you are.” He giggled, struggling to keep his eyes open. And he stayed right there in the bed with you, taking most of the space on it. What a prick.
You managed to roll off the supporting pillow underneath you, feeling the damp sheets on your skin. If you could still walk, you’d at least try to clean up a little, but you were far from that.
“Fuck you.”
“You just did that, baby.” He chuckled sleepily at his own joke, licking his lips. “Do we still hate each other by the way?”
You giggled too, drifting off to sleep, sore, content, and full of cum. “Jury’s still out on that one, Hwang.”
a/n: just a little something for the Red Light Chronicles! I had fun writing about my cunty attorney. You guys take care!
This was incredible, Mari. I think this is one of my favourite smut scenes of yours! I know there won't be a part 2 but can I just ask - what would happen with them next? If I were mc I would be screaming "what are we?!" When mc told him that she wouldn't have slept with Chan he replied with, "I don't care." Obviously he does but like, how much?
Anyways, thank you so much for this! Hope you're having a good start to the next year, mine is all over the place and I hope it doesn't continue like this for much longer 😒💙🌻
genre: bang chan x fem!reader | college au ; roommates au ; enemies-to-lovers ; alcohol mention
summary: your roommate is going abroad for the semester and now you’re forced to share your apartment with bang chan, who you basically lived with for the past semester except he didn’t pay rent, he ate all of your food, and crashed on your couch after a long night out. you were going to do everything in your power to avoid him until your roommate comes back. that doesn’t work out so well.
wc: 11.8k
a/n: omg a month late, but merry christmas to @channiechanchan!! did you know it was me?? LMAO I’M SO SORRY LKJDSLKFJ IT’S ALSO NOT EVEN XMAS RELATED BUT……. I HOPE IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT, ILY SLKJDSL
The sun rays peeked through the gaps of the curtains letting you know that a beautiful Sunday was upon you. You would spend the morning making breakfast for you and your roommate, clean your room of all the bad vibes, knock out some homework, and light an overpriced candle to conclude a stress-free day.
A long morning stretch in bed was the start to your day, and you had the widest smile on your lips upon exiting your room as if there was nothing that could ruin your energy. That dropped quickly once you were greeted with a loud, snoring, almost-naked man face down and passed out on your couch.
Synopsis: Having a burning need to travel, you end up in Korea where you are pushed into Stray Kids' lead dancer's line of vision. After a traumatic turn of events you two part ways...only to run into each other on the other side of the world. Will there be anything left to salvage?
Content info: Hyunjin x afab reader, idol!au, teacher!reader, South Korea, Mexico, reader has anxiety, smut, travel au, angst with a happy ending.
Word count: 1.5k
Miscommunication (18+) Masterlist
General Warnings: Smut (warnings under the cut)
Smut warnings: Kissing, Oral sex (m receiving)
Mature content - minors do not interact.
a/n: Hey readers! Thank you for being so patient, I was just having a hard time processing that we are at the end! Thank you to all who stayed invested - your comments mean the world to me and I hope you will continue to chat. Please continue to reblog and comment and I wish you a wonderful week and Christmas (if you celebrate it)! 🖤🔥
Three months later
It’s fine. It will all be fine. But what if it wasn’t? What if this was one, big, massive mistake that would end up exploding in your faces, charring everyone along the way? As you started fidgeting nervously on your couch your mind raced to bring up a memory to ease you..
🥀
You had just professed your feelings for him after their performance at Kamp Fest and he was kissing the hell out of you in front of everyone. You weren’t typically one for PDA so you gently pulled yourself away as everybody lost their minds. Felix was full-blown crying on Chan’s shoulder (who looked like a proud dad); Changbin was muttering something about never having had the chance to kiss Hyunjin’s beautiful lips; Minho was trying to kiss Jisung (shocking) who was keeping him at arm's length; Jeongin’s eyes were being covered by one of Seungmin’s hands who was standing really close to Evie, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. It was pure chaos, to say the least. Chan noticed you had finished and straightened up, resuming his leader role.
“All right, kids. We leave tomorrow afternoon. I want everyone in the van - we need a full night’s rest to avoid Minho’s crankiness at the airport.”
Hyunjin looked a little panicked and pulled you close again but Chan realised and left him with the biggest present he could have asked for.
“Hyunjin, I better see you by 9am sharp.”
The members started filing out but not before -
“Hyung! Go get that pu-”
“JEONGIN!”
🖤
You later found yourself pacing nervously in your kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil. What now? Hyunjin was sat in your living room while you were internally freaking out about the situation. The last time he was here you two weren’t exactly cordial - did he like your apartment? Was he comfortable? Was it as awkward for him as it was for you? The questions kept coming and you realised you had zoned out when you felt a warm hand on your shoulder.
“You regretting this?”
You turned around and found concern in Hyunjin’s eyes as he scrutinised you. You felt like a horrible person - he was looking so vulnerable and you needed to smooth his fears away.
“No, of course not,” his shoulders sagged with relief, “but…is my apartment okay? I don’t want this to be your last memory of us for a while - should we go to a nice hotel?”
With a gentle laugh, he pulled you closer by your hips, burying his nose in your hair.
“I love your apartment - it’s so unapologetically you. I think it’s perfect for my last night in Mexico. So, relax, I’m very much enjoying being here.” As he said this, he started kissing the juncture between your neck and your shoulder, moving up slowly.
“And here.”
“And here.”
“And here.”
You giggled breathlessly, “Stopppp.”
He pulled back and fixed you with a dark stare, suddenly tea didn’t seem so appetizing anymore. You had wanted to chat, get to know each other again but that could wait a couple hours.
“Make me.”
You softly pressed your lips against his - it wasn’t like the last time. This time you weren’t afraid of your feelings, this time there was no anger and this time, you could savour each other.
The kiss slowly escalated into something sensual, his plush lips moving against yours, his teeth nipping your bottom lip causing you to gasp. As his tongue slid inside, you felt light-headed - it was all too much and yet you wanted more. You wanted to feel him - all of him - and there was one thing you were dying to do. He ran his hands slowly across your back, under your shirt and pulled away.
“What are you thinking about?”
You smiled up at him and pulled him to the bedroom where you sat him down on the edge of the bed. You slowly sank to your knees in front of him. He stared down at you in confusion (he really was innocent) until it clicked.
“Baby, you don’t have to do this.”
“Didn’t you want me to choke on you?”
He widened his eyes and took in a ragged breath, running his hand through his hair.
“Fuck, yes, but you don’t have to.”
You leaned up, placing a kiss on his ear before whispering, “I want to taste you.”
Letting out a string of curse words, he let you remove his shirt and leaned back as he watched you place soft kisses down his muscular torso. He was worried he would combust if you carried on like that but he needed more.
“Take your clothes off for me,” he commanded in a low voice. You stood up and did as he asked while he admired every curve and angle with bated breath. In your underwear, you sank to your knees again and undid his belt, staring into his eyes. When you had him completely naked, the air shifted. You started to tease him, brushing your mouth along the length of him, pumping him gently with your hand. You looked up and saw him frowning at you, lip pulled roughly between his teeth.
“Stop teasing, sweetheart, or I won’t let you cum at all.”
You clenched involuntarily and took him slowly into your mouth, moaning at his taste. It was better than you had anticipated and it was so big you had to use your hand as well. You gripped his thigh with one hand and started swirling your tongue around his tip, taking in his precum with a hum. You started to bob your head, and when you took him in further, slightly gagging, he threw his head back with a manic laugh.
“How are you so good at this?!”
You simply sped up, ignoring him, which really got him going. He tangled his hand in your hair, creating a makeshift pony and started moving you gently.
“Look at me, love. Look me in the eyes as you suck me dry.”
You complied, hollowing your cheeks and spitting on him when you pulled away for breath. He couldn’t go on for long - the way his thighs were trembling had you feeling quite triumphant. He was acting dominant but you knew he was a mess for you.
After a few more delightful minutes of listening to him moan and feeling him jerk his hips up, a particularly rough pull of your hair signalled he was ready.
He panted frantically,“Can I cum in your mouth? It’s okay if you don’t want me to, there are plenty of other places -”
You nodded vigorously and he came with a cry, gripping your hair tightly. You watched as he threw his head back, sweat running down his neck as he groaned loud enough to wake the neighbors. You never wanted to forget this image of him letting go so viscerally. As he came down, you made sure to have him watch you as you swallowed every drop of his release. You couldn’t wait to do it again. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you hard.
“Ready for me to return the favour?”
🖤
You fell asleep in each others’ arms that night and the notion that he was yours made it the best sleep in years. Gone was the guilt. Gone was the uncertainty and longing, the regret and the emotional turmoil. There was still a lot to work on - trauma like that was never easy to get past but you knew you were safe. You were with the man you loved and that was a pretty great start.
🥀
Three months later and you still felt the same so no, this was not a mistake - most definitely not. Besides, Seungmin was due to announce his relationship in a few months too - you still couldn’t believe the audacity he had to steal Evie’s number off Hyunjin’s phone when he heard she was single, you were hurt at the fact that she didn’t tell you but understood that she didn’t want to rub it in your face when you were still fighting with his bandmate. You were still smiling but when you realised what you were waiting for, the nerves kicked in again. You were sitting with bated breath in front of your laptop at your apartment and you looked at the beautiful man on the screen who was currently doing a live. His hair had changed again - this time to a shimmering silver/blonde - but the same, shining smile adorned his face. He had been intently talking to his fans and suddenly you felt nauseous - the butterflies were wrecking your insides. Your phone dinged and you stiffened. It’s go time.
“Thank you for listening and for hearing me out. I hope you will love her as much as you love me. She lights up my whole world and I wouldn’t be able to perform for you so well if I didn’t have her. Right now, she is waiting to meet you so I’m going to call her.” Hyunjin stared straight at the screen as he positioned his finger over the button.
Synopsis: Having a burning need to travel, you end up in Korea where you are pushed into Stray Kids' lead dancer's line of vision. After a traumatic turn of events you two part ways...only to run into each other on the other side of the world. Will there be anything left to salvage?
Content info: Hyunjin x afab reader, idol!au, teacher!reader, South Korea, Mexico, reader has anxiety, smut, travel au, angst with a happy ending.
Word count: 1.5k
Miscommunication (18+) Masterlist
General Warnings: Smut (warnings under the cut)
Smut warnings: Kissing, Oral sex (m receiving)
Mature content - minors do not interact.
a/n: Hey readers! Thank you for being so patient, I was just having a hard time processing that we are at the end! Thank you to all who stayed invested - your comments mean the world to me and I hope you will continue to chat. Please continue to reblog and comment and I wish you a wonderful week and Christmas (if you celebrate it)! 🖤🔥
Three months later
It’s fine. It will all be fine. But what if it wasn’t? What if this was one, big, massive mistake that would end up exploding in your faces, charring everyone along the way? As you started fidgeting nervously on your couch your mind raced to bring up a memory to ease you..
🥀
You had just professed your feelings for him after their performance at Kamp Fest and he was kissing the hell out of you in front of everyone. You weren’t typically one for PDA so you gently pulled yourself away as everybody lost their minds. Felix was full-blown crying on Chan’s shoulder (who looked like a proud dad); Chanbin was muttering something about never having had the chance to kiss Hyunjin’s beautiful lips; Minho was trying to kiss Jisung (shocking) who was keeping him at arm's length; Jeongin’s eyes were being covered by one of Seungmin’s hands who was standing really close to Evie, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. It was pure chaos, to say the least. Chan noticed you had finished and straightened up, resuming his leader role.
“All right, kids. We leave tomorrow afternoon. I want everyone in the van - we need a full night’s rest to avoid Minho’s crankiness at the airport.”
Hyunjin looked a little panicked and pulled you close again but Chan realised and left him with the biggest present he could have asked for.
“Hyunjin, I better see you by 9am sharp.”
The members started filing out but not before -
“Hyung! Go get that pu-”
“JEONGIN!”
🖤
You later found yourself pacing nervously in your kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil. What now? Hyunjin was sat in your living room while you were internally freaking out about the situation. The last time he was here you two weren’t exactly cordial - did he like your apartment? Was he comfortable? Was it as awkward for him as it was for you? The questions kept coming and you realised you had zoned out when you felt a warm hand on your shoulder.
“You regretting this?”
You turned around and found concern in Hyunjin’s eyes as he scrutinised you. You felt like a horrible person - he was looking so vulnerable and you needed to smooth his fears away.
“No, of course not,” his shoulders sagged with relief, “but…is my apartment okay? I don’t want this to be your last memory of us for a while - should we go to a nice hotel?”
With a gentle laugh, he pulled you closer by your hips, burying his nose in your hair.
“I love your apartment - it’s so unapologetically you. I think it’s perfect for my last night in Mexico. So, relax, I’m very much enjoying being here.” As he said this, he started kissing the juncture between your neck and your shoulder, moving up slowly.
“And here.”
“And here.”
“And here.”
You giggled breathlessly, “Stopppp.”
He pulled back and fixed you with a dark stare, suddenly tea didn’t seem so appetizing anymore. You had wanted to chat, get to know each other again but that could wait a couple hours.
“Make me.”
You softly pressed your lips against his - it wasn’t like the last time. This time you weren’t afraid of your feelings, this time there was no anger and this time, you could savour each other.
The kiss slowly escalated into something sensual, his plush lips moving against yours, his teeth nipping your bottom lip causing you to gasp. As his tongue slid inside, you felt light-headed - it was all too much and yet you wanted more. You wanted to feel him - all of him - and there was one thing you were dying to do. He ran his hands slowly across your back, under your shirt and pulled away.
“What are you thinking about?”
You smiled up at him and pulled him to the bedroom where you sat him down on the edge of the bed. You slowly sank to your knees in front of him. He stared down at you in confusion (he really was innocent) until it clicked.
“Baby, you don’t have to do this.”
“Didn’t you want me to choke on you?”
He widened his eyes and took in a ragged breath, running his hand through his hair.
“Fuck, yes, but you don’t have to.”
You leant up, placing a kiss on his ear before whispering, “I want to taste you.”
Letting out a string of curse words, he let you remove his shirt and leaned back as he watched you place soft kisses down his muscular torso. He was worried he would combust if you carried on like that but he needed more.
“Take your clothes off for me,” he commanded in a low voice. You stood up and did as he asked while he admired every curve and angle with bated breath. In your underwear, you sank to your knees again and undid his belt, staring into his eyes. When you had him completely naked, the air shifted. You started to tease him, brushing your mouth along the length of him, pumping him gently with your hand. You looked up and saw him frowning at you, lip pulled roughly between his teeth.
“Stop teasing, sweetheart, or I won’t let you cum at all.”
You clenched involuntarily and took him slowly into your mouth, moaning at his taste. It was better than you had anticipated and it was so big you had to use your hand as well. You gripped his thigh with one hand and started swirling your tongue around his tip, taking in his precum with a hum. You started to bob your head, and when you took him in further, slightly gagging, he threw his head back with a manic laugh.
“How are you so good at this?!”
You simply sped up, ignoring him, which really got him going. He tangled his hand in your hair, creating a makeshift pony and started moving you gently.
“Look at me, love. Look me in the eyes as you suck me dry.”
You complied, hollowing your cheeks and spitting on him when you pulled away for breath. He couldn’t go on for long - the way his thighs were trembling had you feeling quite triumphant. He was acting dominant but you knew he was a mess for you.
After a few more delightful minutes of listening to him moan and feeling him jerk his hips up, a particularly rough pull of your hair signalled he was ready.
He panted frantically,“Can I cum in your mouth? It’s okay if you don’t want me to, there are plenty of other places -”
You nodded vigorously and he came with a cry, gripping your hair tightly. You watched as he threw his head back, sweat running down his neck as he groaned loud enough to wake the neighbors. You never wanted to forget this image of him letting go so viscerally. As he came down, you made sure to have him watch you as you swallowed every drop of his release. You couldn’t wait to do it again. He pulled you into his lap and kissed you hard.
“Ready for me to return the favour?”
🖤
You fell asleep in each others’ arms that night and the notion that he was yours made it the best sleep in years. Gone was the guilt. Gone was the uncertainty and longing, the regret and the emotional turmoil. There was still a lot to work on - trauma like that was never easy to get past but you knew you were safe. You were with the man you loved and that was a pretty great start.
🥀
Three months later and you still felt the same so no, this was not a mistake - most definitely not. Besides, Seungmin was due to announce his relationship in a few months too - you still couldn’t believe the audacity he had to steal Evie’s number off Hyunjin’s phone when he heard she was single, you were hurt at the fact that she didn’t tell you but understood that she didn’t want to rub it in your face when you were still fighting with his bandmate. You were still smiling but when you realised what you were waiting for, the nerves kicked in again. You were sitting with bated breath in front of your laptop at your apartment and you looked at the beautiful man on the screen who was currently doing a live. His hair had changed again - this time to a shimmering silver/blonde - but the same, shining smile adorned his face. He had been intently talking to his fans and suddenly you felt nauseous - the butterflies were wrecking your insides. Your phone dinged and you stiffened. It’s go time.
“Thank you for listening and for hearing me out. I hope you will love her as much as you love me. She lights up my whole world and I wouldn’t be able to perform for you so well if I didn’t have her. Right now, she is waiting to meet you so I’m going to call her.” Hyunjin stared straight at the screen as he positioned his finger over the button.
Changbin chuckles to himself, “Not that it’s any of my business… but I just thought I'd let you know that Minho isn't here for anything serious.”
← previous part | next part →
💻 After a pretty much emotional and reuniting night with your ex boyfriend, you get send on a date with none other than his best friend who is very destined to get your attention.
❗️You, Y/N, are part of this year’s season of Red Lights, starring as the main character, surrounded by eight very different men that you have all met before. In order to decide how the story unfolds and what happens in following episodes, select an option for the poll after reading a chapter.
🛷 CONTENT INFO: skz ot8 x afab reader [not at the same time], pls refer to masterlist for more info, reality/dating show AU, minors do not interact since it includes topics only suitable for adults, content warning under the cut
📕 WORD COUNT: 3.2K
🎸 SPOTIFY PLAYLIST
🥀 CONTENT WARNING: mention of breakup, jealousy
The characters do not portray any of the skz members in real life, the names are just used for fiction. Minors do not interact, this post contains mature topics. By reading you consent to nsfw content and agree that you have read all the warnings above carefully.
The room has been filled with silence for nearly half an hour now. Well, the two weren’t exactly chatty before that either—Changbin just asked his best friend where he put the hair dryer.
Everyone slept a little longer today, due to the late evening yesterday and they’re all glad about it. Especially Minho, who’s currently sitting on his bed, reading some book he’s brought with him while his roommate gets ready for a date with you.
They both wonder if Soyeon did that on purpose—let you sleep in a bed with your ex boyfriend and then go on a romantic meet-up with his best friend a day later. It would make sense, considering how fucked up this show is.
Minho’s head has been occupied with his thoughts running around in circles, overthinking getting the best of him. He tries to push them away, tries to not think of the fact that his best friend will be in a room with you for probably an hour or more.
Minho has been wondering as well if you’ve only gone that far with him on this show—he’s aware of the kisses you shared with Chan and Hyunjin on the first day. He doesn’t know that you made out with the latter once more and that your childhood friend and you found a mistletoe above your heads when wrapping the presents for the finale.
Before jealousy is completely taking over him, he gets up and disappears in the bathroom. The cold water splashing against his skin helps him calm down a little—just enough to be able to face Changbin again. His best friend is now dressed and adjusting his hair. He’s wearing the strands naturally, all curly and unfortunately your ex gets reminded that you adore this look the most.
“Minho?”
His best friend drags him out of his spiral of overthinking.
“Yeah?”
Changbin takes a deep breath, “Can you help me with the buttons on my wrist?”
He nods, before he walks towards him, finishing the rest of his outfit. God. Their hearts are beating out of their chests.
The younger one thought about quitting. It’s just too much—participating in a show that revolves around conquering your heart while your ex boyfriend, his best friend, is one of the candidates as well.
“How was… last night?”
Minho’s head snaps up, looking at Changbin through the mirror.
“Fine. We talked a lot,” is all he says.
“About… why you broke up and all?”
“Hm, I told her everything,” he confesses.
Wow. Okay. Changbin wonders now what an effect all this will have on the show. Has anyone else basically lost their chance because you perhaps forgave Minho and ran back to him?
“And then?”
Minho needs a second. He contemplates if he should tell his friend—or anyone—what happened after that long talk. He’s been thinking about that moment a lot, how you were on top of him, moaning his name while you desperately made yourself cum on your ex’s thigh. You looked like a goddess. Minho truly missed that sight but also the feeling of being so close to you.
And since jealousy is already bubbling up in his stomach again, when he thinks about the fact that his best friend is about to go on a date with you, he decided to share in fact a little more, “We fell asleep together… uhm, we kissed and, yeah, did a little more than that.”
On one hand Changbin wants to know what a little more than that means but on the other hand he can live without the information of any details.
When Minho sees the confused, almost insecure look on his best friend’s face now, he becomes the complete opposite of it. Sure, you haven’t fully forgiven him yet but he knows his chances went through the roof after last night. Minho feels as if he has nothing to lose.
“Go as far as you want,” he says then.
Changbin turns around, looking into his friend’s eyes, “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I can’t hold you back anyway,” Minho adds, meaning it.
Partly, because this is a show and the purpose of it but he also knows that Changbin might be a little more ready to risk something. He hasn’t explicitly said that but when they were all together with the other guys, Minho kind of got the vibes from him that he won’t show any consideration when it comes to the older one’s feelings for you. They’re all competing against each other anyway.
“W-What do you mean? I can quit if you want,” Changbin replies. He’s thought about it before, after all.
“I’m not talking about the show,” Minho emphasises.
“What…”
“I know you have feelings for her, Bin. I’m not dumb. I can’t hold you back, like I said,” Minho says with a stern voice.
“I’m… I don’t…”
“You do, Changbin,” he intervenes. “I’m not stupid. Why do you think I initiated that threesome back then?”
Changbin feels his stomach do a weird twist.
What?
Is Minho implying that he only initiated the threesome on his birthday last year because he already knew that Changbin had a crush on you? This isn’t something you’d do to your best friend, right?
“You… did you do that to get back at me?”
Minho smirks, “Partly, yes. I did that because we are friends and all three of us were horny for one another but yes, I also did that because I knew you had feelings for her. To show Y/N who she truly belongs to and to show you that you don’t have a chance with her anyway.”
Changbin can’t believe what his ears just witnessed. This is so fucked up. There’s two things messing with his head—first, that no one has ever betrayed him like this and, second, how he could be so dumb to not realise that during the moment.
“You’re sick,” is everything that makes it past his lips.
All Minho does is scoff.
“And meanwhile I was there like a total idiot, cheering her up like an absolute simp when she picked up the last boxes,” Changbin complains, his hands attached to his head, as he tried to calm himself down.
“What?”
“Yeah… you were at a meeting with your parents that day. She came to our apartment for her remaining stuff,” he explains.
“You’ve never told me.”
Minho’s voice is a little smaller again. Why didn’t his best friend tell him about it? Why does everybody seem to not tell either you or Minho that you tried visiting each other’s apartments?
When he looks back at his best friend, he suddenly notices a mischievous grin on Changbin’s face.
“No. I also didn’t tell you that she gave me her lingerie which she wore that night and a kiss on the cheek.”
Now it’s Minho’s stomach that is doing an uncomfortable twist.
“You’re just saying that to make me angry,” he provokes him back.
“Partly yes, but also because it’s the truth. You get jealous so easily, it must be really hard to be here with all the other guys that she probably has slept with after you broke up.”
Minho doesn’t want to believe that. He dearly doesn’t want to believe that you’ve already slept with all the other candidates.
Some things they said were at the verge of crossing lines—when they talked about you and your body. Minho knows you’re absolutely attractive and other men obviously see that as well. But there’s just something about… how they worded it that left a weird aftertaste.
For instance, when they were talking about that senses challenge and how unfair it was that everyone would pick taste as a favourite. When Hyunjin called you not exactly a prude, basically saying you’re easy, Minho’s fist was ready to meet the younger one’s face.
“Don’t… say that…” his voice gets even weaker.
“What? Afraid I might be right?” Changbin asks, clicking his tongue.
“I don’t fucking care,” Minho spits through gritted teeth.
“If you say so.” Changbin ties his shoe laces, before he steps towards the door of their shared bedroom. “See you later, I have a date to attend.”
💻
Luckily, Changbin managed to ease his mind before the start of the date. His world has basically been flipped upside down after Minho’s confession. He still can’t believe his best friend did that to get back at him for having feelings for you. It’s not as if he can exactly control that, right?
Is he overreacting? Is he overthinking this? Is it really as bad as he makes it ought to be? It is completely valid that he believes that Minho’s action were fucked up, right?
Nevertheless, it makes it a little easier to ignore his guilty conscience for today. Sure, Changbin thought that it was good that he met you on the show first, before Minho. In the beginning he thought that if there was still something between you and his best friend, Changbin would have taken a step back like he has always done. That’s why he asked the older one how last night went. Out of respect. Towards you. Towards Minho.
But fuck that. If he can even call Minho his best friend anymore. There’s no looking back anymore.
On top of that—Minho just breaks up with you out of the blue, not explaining things to you, leaving your heart shattered in pieces and then it takes him one evening of a little game of Mafia and sleeping in one bed together, that you forgive him? Sure, Changbin doesn’t know what you actually think about all that but what he does know is that he could be so much better for you. And he knows that you think so, too.
Last but not least—he’s overwhelmed, they are all overwhelmed with this stupid show. It all sounds like someone made that up, put you all in such a setting for whatever reason. Changbin can’t think straight anymore. Especially not whenever you’re around him. He won’t leave this mansion without fighting. No matter how morally grey it is that he’s in love with his best friend’s ex.
Meanwhile, you’ve been waiting in the room where your date is supposed to be for a few minutes now, unsure how things will go with Changbin. You still stand by the idea that he would be so perfect for you, that he is absolute husband material just the way that he is. But regarding the fact that he’s your ex’s best friend—and all that happened last night—you’re getting unsure again.
However, you try your best to not let second guesses get to your head, especially since you have no respect left for this show anyway. You’re just gonna make the best out of it and have a nice time with Changbin when playing pool.
The door swings open, revealing said man behind it. He slowly walks towards you, nervousness plastered all over his face. Adjusting his microphone and earbuds, he gets closer, before you’re pulled into a hug.
“How are you?”
You smile at him, “Good. How about you?”
“Great, after all I finally get to spend some time with you.”
God. He’s really going all in already?
You send a smirk his way, before you start again, “So, we’re playing pool?”
“Hm, I’m actually quite good at it.”
He reaches for the pool cue stick, since the balls are already positioned on the table.
“Does that mean you could teach me?”
You’re a minute into the date and you’re already full on flirting with Changbin. Should you feel bad about it? Regarding Minho and all? After all, you didn’t feel bad about going on dates with others and kissing them before his confession. You’re just confused. One day ago, you thought you were head over heels for Hyunjin, those pent up feelings finally being brought to the surface, and then Seungmin came around the corner, leaving you speechless, too.
Before the start of the show, your mind was occupied with your roommate. Sometimes with Minho but mostly because everything was still left untold. But a year ago, Changbin was this ideal picture you’ve had in your head and the fact that he’s here again, being nothing but a true gentleman since you met him yesterday, respectful as always, makes you want to take the chance.
It’s just a simple date, right? Minho flirted with that girl at Jisung’s birthday party too and you dearly don’t want to know how many women he met during the last year.
Apart from that, it’s the purpose of the show. You remember what Soyeon said—in order to win a game, you have to play it.
“Of course I can,” Changbin says, walking towards you, “have you played pool before?”
You nod, “A few times, yeah, but I’m not exactly good at it.”
He hands you the stick.
“Then how about you start this round?”
You take the stick from him, before you walk towards the table and stand behind it, slowly leaning forward. With the tip pointing at the white ball, you give the targeted object a little nudge, before you watch all the other coloured ones roam around on the table.
“Not bad,” Changbin says, before reaching for the stick.
When it’s his turn, you get aware of how good he actually is at this game. Good is an understatement, to be precise. He’s balancing his body gracefully, hitting the white ball and watching two of the coloured ones falling into one of the holes right after. The best decision was probably wearing that tight black shirt, that is showing off the outline of his muscles and his bare arms. God. You’ve always found him so attractive, it’s insane.
“Could you help me this time?” you ask with a pout.
“Of course, angel.”
Well, that’s new. But not that you mind at all.
Changbin walks around the table, before he hands you the stick again. You get into the same position as earlier, targeting the white ball. Suddenly, you feel a warm body behind you, as your date’s chest is softly pressing against your back. He is adjusting your statue a little, showing you how to get more balance, before he helps you make this shot.
Two balls get in, one after another, before you turn around and start cheering.
“Thank you so much, Binnie,” you tell him with a soft smile.
“No need to thank me, darling.” Changbin walks around the table since it’s his turn again. He downs another few coloured balls, before tilting his head towards you. “Do you remember what I told you the last time we saw each other, before the show?”
“What do you mean?”
With Changbin everything feels familiar. You don’t need to do a lot of smalltalk and can instead go straight to the point. It’s always been like this. Even when you were still with Minho, you would go to Changbin for advice sometimes. You’d been good friends after all, too.
He gets a little closer, laying the stick against the table.
“If you were my girlfriend I would always treat you right, like the angel you are.” Your eyes widen because of his boldness but it’s not as if you mind. You like this new, confident version of him. “I know that you came here for the same reason—that your goal for the show is to find true love.”
Well, your actual goal was and still is the money. But apart from that, you were asked in the beginning if you want to fall in love or if you’re just here to have some fun. You opted for the first one, knowing you’re more of the romantic type anyway.
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Changbin chuckles to himself, thinking of what he’s about to confess, “Not that it’s any of my business… but I just thought I'd let you know that Minho isn't here for anything serious.”
What?
Well—in his defence, Minho didn’t know that you would be the main character. But this doesn’t sound like your ex at all—meaningless connections and such. He’s never been into that. Maybe he’s changed during that year. Maybe he isn’t the Minho that he used to be. Apart from that, you don’t know if they were asked to choose between romance and fun before or after meeting you on the show.
The thoughts start running free then. Yes, Minho might have confessed and explained the truth behind the breakup and whereas you might forgive him for that and still have some type of feelings for him—how do you know that things will go back to normal? How can you be sure that he isn’t a different person by now
What if you get back together just to realise the two of you don’t fit anymore and you get through another breakup? You don’t know if your heart could survive this.
“Thank you for telling me.”
Changbin smiles, “Not for that. Continue playing?”
Time flies by with him, you adore his company a lot. You just feel safe with him. Changbin does everything he can to make you feel like the absolute center of attention. Small touches are shared with one another, as he makes sure to show you how to correctly play this game for the nth time—it’s really just an excuse from you to feel his body against yours.
You’re like the forbidden apple that Changbin craves to have. He knows it’s wrong. So wrong. But with the absurdity of this show, good and bad blend into one another.
The both of you don’t even realise that an hour has passed by now—you’re too busy staring at Changbin’s lips anyway. And of courses he notices it, as they instantly turn into a smirk.
“Can I kiss you, angel?”
All you do is nod, as you allow him to press his lips against your own. He feels so soft against you, as he gently starts kissing you, slow movements shutting off your mind. It’s just him and you right now—how he’s pulling you closer by the waist, hovering you onto the table, how he’s slipping his tongue inside, a grunt spilling from his lips.
You’re basically fully making out right now, as Changbin gets even nearer. You part your legs, so he can get closer. A moan makes it past your lips, definitely being caught by the microphones that are attached to your shirts.
For a second you remember the safeword for shutting off cameras and although right now it feels right that you’re craving more, that you’d love to have Changbin’s hands roaming all over you, pulling off your clothes and making you feel good—your heart can’t.
Once again because you don’t want to break Changbin’s heart—especially since he mentioned he’s here for the falling in love part of the show—when you wake up tomorrow after another dream about his best friend. Or Hyunjin. Or Seungmin. Or Chan.
You’re such a mess. It’s getting too much but you will get through the rest of this show. You’re glad about the kiss nonetheless—Changbin has brought you some type of comfort that none other can provide, as strange as it sounds.
And that’s what you keep in mind when you pull away and the bright lights indicate that your date is over.
Let's get straight to the point this time: whose backstory would you like to know more about first?
Chan
Felix
Voting ended onDec 17, 2023
Results of poll 16 from JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY [previous chapter]:
[This one determined if you will go on a date with Changbin or (other candidate)]
❤️🔥 AUTHOR’S NOTE: sorry for the late post today!! I hope you liked this chapter and how the story is going despite all the chaos hehe make sure to interact as always! thank you for all the support, i will come back to all the old and new feedback asap i promise! i love you all :)
As soon as he opens the door you’re jumping on him, crashing your lips on his.
It’s always like this between you - you can’t get enough of each other, always so hungry for each other’s body. You put your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, and Chan is quick to wrap his strong arms around your waist as you’re practically making out on his doorstep for the whole neighborhood to see. You kick the door closed, and the both of you are startled by the sound of the door closing with a loud thud, but neither of you pulls away from the other’s lips.
Chan runs his tongue along your lower lip, and you part your lips to welcome it inside your mouth. Making out with him always leaves you breathless and has you dripping, and tonight is no exception - your panties feel sticky already, and he hasn’t even touched you properly. You suck in a breath when he pins you against the door. His lips move to kiss you on the corner of your mouth, then your jawline, then your neck as you pant and sigh, grinding your hips on his desperately, looking for some friction.
He’s already rock hard, and you hold back a moan when you feel the outline of his dick press on the sweet spot between your thighs. “Chris…” you whine, and he huffs. You can’t see him, but his eyes roll in the back of his head in ecstasy when he hears you calling him by his English name, “bedroom.”
He’s busy sucking on a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, but his cock twitches in his pants nonetheless. In that moment, he lets himself believe that maybe, just maybe, you want him as much as he wants you, as much as he needs you. “Bedroom,” he confirms, nodding vehemently.
Chan kicks his bedroom door closed the same way you’d done before, even though there’s no need to, really - he lives alone, therefore you’re sure nobody is going to interrupt you. However, he believes this way it’s more romantic, more intimate, even though it’s not the point of your encounter. You’re both here looking for sexual gratification, for an orgasm or a few of them, nothing more, nothing less.
At least, you are here for this reason - Chan… he makes love to you every time.
He’s gentle when he drops you onto his mattress, and you can’t help but notice he’s changed his sheets and opted for your favorite - soft, and of a greyish color that matches his room well. Moreover, they feel really good against your skin - they don’t itch all over your body as he pounds into you, fucking your sweaty body into the mattress. It’s silly, but you’re happy he remembered.
“You remembered,” you chuckle, running your fingers all over the soft fabric.
Chan takes off his black hoodie, and he’s left in just a plain, white tank top. You can clearly make out the darker, circular shape of his nipples, and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around them, one at a time. You can’t help but notice that he’s gotten a bit buffer too - his biceps are more defined, and you believe that tank top is secretly hiding his six pack.
“Yeah,” he chuckles, “I threw the other ones away. Literally, they’re in the trash now.”
“What? Why? You didn’t have to throw away your sheets just because I don’t like them, Chris,” you say, and a shiver runs down his spine.
With one swift motion, his sweats are on the ground as well, pooling at his ankles. He’s wearing just his boxers now. Black, as per usual. “Didn’t like them either,” he shrugs, climbing back on the bed, body hovering over yours. “Besides,” he leans in to whisper the following words in your ear, “they were ruined anyways after what you did that day.”
That being squirting three times in a row, falling apart under Chan’s fingers and cock and his amused gaze. By the end of the night, said sheets were completely drenched in your multiple releases, and apparently never got back to normal.
“It was your fault,” you whimper when you feel Chan kissing a precise spot behind your ear, swirling his tongue around your earlobe immediately after. You arch your back and spread your legs instinctively, ready to welcome his body between your legs.
“It was the hottest thing ever,” Chan comments. His hand travels all the way from your knee to your thigh, until his fingers ghost over your clothed pussy. “Let’s see if I can make this pussy squirt again, hm?” He growls, nibbling your ear.
You take off your hoodie while Chan slides your leggings down your legs, revealing your beautiful thighs - his weak spot. He loves your thighs - loves to grip them when you’re on top of him, riding him. Loves to cum on them while jerking his cock while he watches you pleasuring yourself, two fingers shoved deep inside your pussy and two fingers rubbing your clit. He loves to suck, lick and bite them right before giving you oral, before devouring your pussy as if it were his last meal.
“You remembered, too,” he smirks as soon as he realizes you’re wearing his favorite lingerie set of yours - black lace, with a small ribbon right on your pussy and another one between your breasts.
“’s my favorite set, too,” you whisper, biting your lip as you look him in the eye.
He raises one eyebrow at you, then tongues his cheek. You catch him palming his cock over his boxers. When he grips it, you nearly choke on air - it looks so deliciously thick and hard. “Oh, really?”
“Mh-hm,” you nod.
“And why is that so?” He asks, intrigued.
You prop yourself on your elbows and spread your legs wider, giving him a better view of your barely covered pussy. You let your own hand travel down your body until your fingers reach the hem of said panties and start to toy with it. “Because you always fuck me so hard whenever I’m wearing it,” you reply, biting your lip as you look at him through your eyelashes.
Chan growls. A hoarse, almost animalistic growl as he feels his cock twitch inside his boxers. He wants nothing more than to whip it out, pull your panties to the side and take you right there, right now. But he’s also aware that his cock is not a cock that can be taken easily without being sufficiently prepped. “You’re right I do,” he grunts, gripping your thighs and squeezing them hard, “I always do.”
“That’s what I said,” you giggle.
“Sassy, are we?” Chan licks his lips, “take off your bra for me, baby girl. Let me see those pretty tits.”
Chan is always amazed by how little time it takes you to take off your bra - faster than lightning, really, he could never. His eyes take in the sight of your naked chest, perky nipples sitting there looking absolutely juicy - he wants nothing more than to wrap his lips around one of them and tease the other with his fingers, the way you like.
“You’ve got the prettiest tits,” he compliments you, licking his lips once again. “Seeing you like this, spread on my bed, makes me wanna fuck you so bad.”
“Fuck me, then.”
“Not yet,” he says, “have to prep you first. Need you nice and wet f’my cock.”
“I am,” you promise with a desperate whine. “I am nice and wet for your cock. Here, see.”
You hook two fingers in your panties and pull the fabric to the side, revealing your bare cunt to his hungry eyes. It’s true, you are wet - Chan can clearly see a wet patch on the sheets, in the proximity of your pussy. The fact that you’re so horny for him that you’re literally leaking onto his bedsheets makes him go fucking feral. He palms his cock at the sight of your pussy, but his eyes fucking widen when he sees you spread your pussy lips with your fingers to actually show him how wet you are.
“Fuck, baby girl, you’re driving me crazy,” Chan grunts. With a swift motion, he whips his cock out, then gets rid of his boxers. His cock looks massive, and it is, standing there between his legs, fully erect. “You sure you’re gonna be alright without foreplay, baby girl?” He asks you.
You nod, and he comes closer, his body hovering over yours once again. Meanwhile, you manage to take off your panties, kicking them off for good and letting them hit the floor. “Just put it in, I want to feel you,” you whisper on his lips.
Chan knows it’s not something he should do, but he still feels bad about not prepping you, so he spits on his fingers and smears his saliva all over the tip and length of his dick to make sure it’s slippery enough when he enters you. He pumps his hard cock a couple of times, letting out a couple of whimpers, before he aligns his tip to your entrance.
“‘M pushing in now, okay?” He asks, looking you in the eye as he speaks - his lips are just a few inches away from yours.
It all feels so intimate, the way your lips part and you both gasp when he finally pushes his cockhead inside of you, breaching your hole as he fills you up slowly, delicately. He’s always delicate at first, never rough - that’s something he likes to save for later. Maybe that’s not the way he should be acting - that’s not how a fuck buddy should be behaving, making sure he’s sinking in your heat with all the care in the world as he stares into your eyes until he bottoms out inside of you. That’s when his lips find their place on your neck, just like tour arms find their way around his back.
It doesn’t feel like two friends with benefits who are fucking, at least not to Chan. He’s making love with you, that much is clear to him. He’s always made love to you, since the first time you started this… whatever you want to call it. A situationship? A lost cause? A delusion?
He shakes his head, as if the gesture would shake the thoughts out of his head automatically. Now it’s not the time to think about this - or to overthink. Now, all he wants is to get lost in the delicious feeling of your tight pussy wrapped around him, of how your wetness is coating his length, of how your warmth makes him feel safe.
“Can I move?” His voice comes out as muffled, since he’s still kissing your neck as he speaks, rubbing soft circles on your hip with his thumb, something he always does.
You nod, turning your head to the side to give him better access to your neck. “Yeah,” you breathe, “yeah, move, please.”
You do feel the slightest sting when he pulls almost all the way out, you have to admit it, but it’s nothing unbearable or too excruciating. By the time he bottoms out once more, the discomfort is not there anymore. You let out a deep moan when he fills you up with his thick length once more until you feel his balls pressed against your asscheeks.
“So tight, baby girl,” he praises you, repeating the movement, pulling almost aaaall the way out, and then thrusting back inside in one go, albeit gently. “Drive me crazy.”
His cock feels thick and heavy moving inside of you, and you feel so full. It’s hot and leaking pre-cum, although you can’t really feel it. He can, though, and almost feels bad for how much he’s leaking already. It’s not gonna take too long before he fills you up with a much warmer and thicker substance, his cum. He loves filling your pussy up with his creamy release, shooting it deep inside of you before pulling out slowly just to watch it drip down from your hole mere seconds later. Sometimes, if he’s feeling particularly horny and he’s given you a particularly generous load, he’d even ask you to push it out for him to see.
“You feel so good inside of me,” you pant, “hittin’ all the right places. Fuck, how do you do it?” You manage to say though laboured breath.
He chuckles, snapping his hips faster to meet your pelvis, “That’s because I know your body like no-one else, baby girl. Is that right?” Faster, faster, faster - his movements gets more and more desperate with each thrust. “I know how to give it to you, don’t I? I just know what to do to make this pussy cum,” he pants, “I made it cream around my cock so many times. Fuck, I even made it squirt.”
it’s true, he has. Countless of times.
If he wanted to, he could make you cum right now. He’d just have to change a bit the angle of his hips, move them a little bit higher so that every time he pulls out his cockhead would brush your g-spot. At the same time, he’d rub your clit fast.
“Yeah, made me squirt so hard,” you whine, throwing your head back in the pillow as you feel hotter and hotter, body getting all sweaty as your toes begin to curl. “Made a mess on your sheets, made you throw them away. Came so hard for you,” you pant, nails digging in the pale, soft skin of his back.
“Want me to make you cum hard once again?” Chan grunts, and that’s when he actually gets in position. He smirks when he sees your eyes roll in the back of your head when he brushes that spot.
“Pleas, make me cum,” you whine, desperately trying to meet his hips, seeking more stimulation, “make me squirt, Chris, wanna squirt on your cock.”
It’s with his thumb on your clit and his mushroom tip pressing on your g-spot that you finally reach your orgasm. You don’t squirt this time, however, it’s so intense that you think you might pass out. You cum with a loud cry, burying your head in the pillow as you release around his length, squeezing his cock tighter than ever.
“Are you alright, baby girl?”
You nod, albeit slowly, already feeling spent from your orgasm. “Yeah,” you mumble, “wanna make you cum hard too, though.”
Chan’s jaw drops as he resumes his movements inside your heat, now even hotter and more slippery. He slides in and out easily, and grunts at the sleek sounds that fill his ears every time he pushes inside of you. “Trust me, baby girl, you are gonna make me cum hard,” he sighs.
If there’s a thing that Chan absolutely loves during sex, that thing is eye-contact.
So when your eyes stare into his, and he takes in your fucked out expression, he suddenly starts to feel closer and closer to his orgasm, ready to shoot his load inside of you, ready to fill you up.
He fucks you hard, headboard smacking against the wall with loud thuds - you’re probably going to be sore tomorrow morning, but at least you’ll know it was worth every second of it.
“‘M close, baby girl, ‘m so close,” Chan grunts, groping your thigh with one hand as he continues to pound inside of you. “Say it, please,” this time, he whines.
“What word?” You tease him. You know exactly what he’s talking about.
“Y’know what word, baby girl,” he pants, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, “Don’t be a brat, please, please say it.”
“Mhhh, just like that, daddy,” you moan the word in his ear, and he chokes on air, “fill me up, daddy, give me your cum. ‘Ve been a good girl for you, daddy, give it to me.”
Chan empties himself inside of you, grunting loudly and stopping moving inside of you abruptly. Thick, hot spurts of his cum fill you to the brim until there’s so much of it it starts to leak out of your hole. Tonight, he gave you a very generous load.
You’re both breathless and have no strength left in your bodies. He pulls out, biting his lip to the sight of his cum dripping from your pussy - it’s almost enough to make his cock hard again. Right now, though, he’s too tired, so he simply falls on the mattress and pulls you closer so that your head is resting on his chest.
“‘M sorry,” you mumble, eyes already closing from how tired and spent you actually are.
“What are you sorry for?” Chan asks, fingers caressing your bare shoulder.
“You wanted me to squirt,” you yawn, then hug him closer. Chan’s heart skips a beat.
“Ah, baby girl,” Chan chuckles, “we can always have round two in a couple of hours.”
-
If someone asked Chan how he ended up in this situation, he wouldn’t know what to say.
It’s the same question he asks himself every night as he slides under the soft covers of his bed - so empty, so cold since you left. His bedsheets smell like you; they smell like the delicate scent of your shampoo; his pillows are impregnated with it. His sheets smell like your skin, like your body lotion, the one he loves to smell directly on your body when he buries his nose in your thighs or your stomach, or the valley of your breasts, or literally anyplace else.
Chan's bedsheets smell like your secret, the one you’ve both been keeping for a while now, for months.
As he lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling, Chan often gets lost his own thoughts as he tries to unravel the mystery of how you ended up becoming fuck buddies. He doesn’t even know when it all started, nor how. What he knows is - one minute he was your friend and also desperately in love with you, and the next he was pinning you against the wall, his lips all over your skin as he hiked your dress up your legs, higher and higher. He took you right there, in the club bathroom. You had your legs wrapped around his waist as you were sitting on the sink; his body between your thighs, cock buried deep inside of you as he thrusted inside of you, muffling the sounds that were threatening to escape his throat in the skin of your neck.
That was the first time. Many more followed. Many more, and before either of you could realize what you were getting yourselves into - you were already agreeing on sleeping with each other on a regular basis, whenever you felt the need to release some tension.
He doesn’t regret a single thing, no. The only problem is just - he wants more. He’s always wanted more from you, even though he never found the courage in himself to say the words out loud. It’s not a mere physical thing with you, he’s sure of that.
When you call him out of the blue on a Sunday morning and tell him that “we need to talk”, his first thought is that you know. You know about his feelings for you. Fuck, he should’ve been less obvious - and now you’re calling him, asking him to meet up, saying that you need to talk. You know. You know he’s caught feelings for you - well, technically, the feelings were already there before the thing between you even started. You know and you want to end it, tell him it’s over.
He’s prepared for the worst when you finally meet. Your serious face just confirms his suspicions. You’re ending this. You’re ending this and he hasn’t even had the chance to confess to you. He should do it now, he’s going to do it now.
It’s over, is what he’s expecting to hear from you. So yeah, he should just say the cliche I love you, right?
You both speak at the same time. However, the words that fall from your lips, are entirely different than the ones he was expecting to hear.
I am a sucker for a pining fwb Chan and you nailed it! The way he changed the sheets for mc, the way he made love to her but at the same time ruined her. Incredible writing!💙🌻
The closer you get to the Keep, the more your leg bounces anxiously in the cabin of the carriage.
Seungmin has fallen woefully silent with his chin cupped in his hand, dulled eyes staring out the window. If he has any choice words to share with you, he keeps them to himself.
What do you need once you get back to the Keep? Your weapons and armor are in your room. You’ll go there, change first, then head down to the kitchen to get some food for traveling.
What are the odds the Jarl will lend you a horse? On your way out of the city, you can stop by that potion seller to pick up a few things.
You would get them from Felix, but it would be better if you didn’t see him before you left. This way you could save yourself from that lecture.
A few rolls of gauze wouldn’t hurt. But would it weigh down your p—
“Y/N.” Seungmin’s voice brings you out of your mental checklist. You look up and meet his eyes.
He’s leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together, lips are pulled in a thin line.
“I have a feeling as soon as this carriage is in front of the Keep, you will become the unstoppable force,” he teases. That tilt of sarcasm always needs to make itself known. “So, I will say my goodbye to you now.”
Seungmin reaches forward and grabs your hand between both of his. You lean forward to mirror his position on the comfortable sofa seat.
“Please, be safe, Y/N. I know your heart aches to get yourself on the battlefield to fight for your people, but your leg is still healing. I am sure Felix will try to give you this speech again, but it’s important that you remember you are not at full power.”
Shifting in your seat, you reach your other hand forward to grasp at Seungmin’s. In between the two of you is just a tangle of warm hands grasping onto their last moments alone together.
“I will do everything in my power to stay safe, Seungmin.”
“Promise me that you will look out for yourself first.”
Those big, brown eyes beg with their own second voice. They’re piercing. You’re so used to them being sharp and somewhat cold, but lately they look more like smoldering coals in a fire.
You swallow.
To look out for yourself first would be against everything you’ve learned on the battlefield.
Jeongin’s face flashes through your mind. His alarmed eyes frantically flashing the one time he quickly became overwhelmed by enemy soldiers.
Did Seungmin expect you to not dive into action were that to happen again?
“I cannot do that.” Your answer is weak, but sure.
His eyebrows twitch, the corners of his mouth pull a bit while his jaw clenches and unclenches a few times.
Seungmin looks away from you for a second. His tongue darts out and wets his lips while he swallows thickly.
He nods shallowly, his hands squeezing yours so tightly.
Seungmin, whose face you can write a book on how to read him, attempts to stay stoic and keep his feelings stamped down. But, they leak through through a small, imperceptible movement.
His nose twitches.
“We all care for you so much, mercenary. If I am the first one to explain this to you, I apologize it took so long for you to hear it. The entire court— we all care so deeply about you.”
Outside, the trees of the road begin to thin and are replaced by stone buildings.
Any second now, you’ll be going through Miroh’s capital gate. Then, within a few minutes, you’ll be home.
Your heart aches in your chest.
“If you, or anyone on the frontlines: Hyunjin, Changbin, Jeongin,” his voice is hoarse when he mentions Jeongin, “do not return. I… I do not want to even imagine what would happen to the court.”
The carriage rattles on the stone street.
You reach up with your one hand and cup the side of Seungmin’s face gently.
He looks over at you with wide eyes. This show of soft affection is not something that either of you expected. Truthfully, your body acted on its own.
The skin underneath your hand flushes softly.
“I do not know when, but I will return to you all. That I can promise.”
Your thumb rubs under his eye. Seungmin leans into your touch, his one hand coming up to hold your hand to his face.
“Please make sure you are alive when you return.”
“I will.”
---------------------------------------
The keep is a blur of stone as you make your way through the hallways towards your room. With the way you’re running up the stairs, you would think something was chasing you.
Get ready first, then leave.
You’ll check in with Chan on your way out. There’s no time to stop and do anything else.
Seungmin will update Chan and Minho on everything you learned. He’ll tell them all about how the Mercy division plans on slaughtering the camps in just a few days' time.
They’ll understand why you need to leave.
Chan will understand.
And he’ll let you leave, right? Right?
Not that you’ll even give him a choice. You’re leaving within the next fifteen minutes with or without his blessing.
Nothing was keeping you here.
He was going to have to throw you in the dungeons before you willingly stayed here while your fellow soldiers were slaughtered by living creatures from the Void.
You’ve never strapped your armor to your body faster before in your life. Every buckle was secured to your body in record time.
Stuffing everything in your travel pack, you fish out Felix’s medical kit and place it in the bag before making your way out of your room without a second thought.
Your sword is a comfortable weight on your hip.
The walk to the throne room is when your nerves kick in. The last time you felt this nervous marching towards Chan was when you first met him.
Your armor clinks ring down the empty halls with every step.
Muffled voices from the throne room get louder and louder the closer you get.
“… battalions to the northern border. Leave no keep unprotected. I want healers recruited from the neighboring villages to be stationed just outside camps to heal wounds.”
Chan’s voice is commanding and even.
He’s in Jarl mode.
You round the corner after descending the steps.
There he sits on his throne, thinking of orders and sending them to guards who will listen.
You don’t stop, you continue to walk up to his throne down the center aisle of the grand room.
Chan’s head snaps over to you and his eyes rake up and down your body, taking in your armor and traveling gear.
Minho stands off to the side looking over maps and talking to other head guards before sending them off.
Jisung and Felix are shoulder to shoulder off to the side waiting for instruction. Seungmin is directly in front of the throne.
When the rogue notices the Jarl’s gaze, he peers at you over his shoulder at you, looks back at Chan, and then shakes his head while moving off to the side with his hands clasped behind his back.
You waste no time.
“My lord, I require a horse from your stables,” you say, speed walking up to him.
Chan balls his fists on the arms of his throne.
His face is completely unreadable, his expression solid as stone. Slowly, his chin dips down while his eyes stay locked on you.
“You will receive no such thing.” The low tone that comes from his tight lips sends a bolt of fear down your spine. It’s slow and calculated; at the end it cracks.
You knew this was a possibility.
You do not stop moving until you’re at your usual place in front of his throne.
“My lord, I require a horse from your stables,” you repeat your request while maintaining eye contact with him.
Jisung and Felix both shift around uncomfortably out of the corner of your eye. Minho cuts off his conversation with the guards around him and sends them off.
Everyone is silent. Only members of the court remain in the throne room.
Chan slowly rises from his throne.
“You are still injured. You will stay here, Y/N.”
Every instinct within you screams to back down, but you don’t. You keep your chest puffed and shoulders back.
“I will not.” You say it so casually. “A horse will get me to Fore Mire faster than foot, my lord.”
Chan descends each of the three steps one at a time, taking everything slowly. Each move is calculated and achingly slow.
Never, in the time you’ve known Chan, has he ever looked at you like this. Not even the day you were brought before him as a criminal.
Your knuckles itch to be cracked.
“If I cannot take a horse, then I best be on my way. It is a three day journey on foot.”
Chan’s eyebrow twitches. He continues to stalk towards you like a jungle cat.
“You will stay here, Y/N.”
“With all due respect, my lord, I will not.”
His head turns to the side– his nervous tick– and he sucks his teeth.
“I am your Jarl, Y/N.”
You lift your chin defiantly. “I care not.” Jisung’s stance falters out of the corner of your eye from your strong voice. “Why do you deny another soldier to fight for you?”
With two more steps, Chan is directly in front of you, looking down at you with dangerous eyes.
The few inches he has on your height seem like miles in this moment; he appears meters taller than you. His regality makes him feel taller.
Your unwavering confidence falters internally, but you do not let it show.
Every single set of eyes in the room rest on your two powerful forms. A clash of titans occurring on center stage.
Several unspoken conversations happen in the span of the thirty seconds you are silent. Over and over again he tells you with his eyes that he wants you to stay here, in Miroh, where it’s safe.
And on the other hand, you repeatedly tell him that you will not.
His word has been your gospel for two months, but not today. Not with this.
“You are not just another soldier. You are a member of Miroh’s court.”
“And I would like to fight for our people.”
“No.”
“I am going to the front lines, my lord.”
Chan’s hands reach up and grab your shoulders before you’re able to react. His strong knee jerks up and slams directly onto your injured thigh.
The pain that shoots through your body is instant. It blossoms through your entire leg and shoots down into your foot and up through your chest.
Somehow, you feel it in your fingertips.
A loud screech of anguish tears from your throat as you crumble to the ground in a heap of agony.
“And what use would you be?” your jarl bellows down. His voice bounces off the walls of the room and ricochets through your skull.
“Y/N!” Felix yells and runs towards you.
Without looking away from you, Chan holds out his arm to stop Felix from getting any closer.
“Chan, what has gotten into you?” Felix yells at him, but he stops in place.
Disbelief pairs with the pain.
Why? Why did he need to do that? To prove a point?
Tears well up in your eyes as you curl in on yourself, clutching at your leg as if it would stop the pain.
Throb after throb of agony bursts through your body with your injury at the source. Pitiful grunts through your teeth come out involuntarily as you breathe through the suffering.
“And if we were on the battlefield, you would be dead, Y/N.” Chan reaches out and grabs your head firmly. “Your head would already be rolling on the ground; just another death to add to the toll.”
You grit your teeth to stop the tears.
“Why do you do this, Y/N? Why do you insist on trying to kill yourself? Why can you not just listen to me on this?”
Finally, you look up at Chan– mustering every ounce of venom within your body.
He doesn’t understand? Fine. You’ll make him understand.
“Do you even know what it’s like to hear your family slaughtered with only the floorboards to stop the sound?”
Reaching up, you grab Chan’s hand with yours tightly on your head.
“To be nine years of age and hear the sounds of your mother being defiled by a gang of men? To hear your father scream for mercy as his skin is separated from his body? To feel their blood seep through the wood above your head and drip onto your skin. Those noises do not fade from your memory– they wake you up in the middle of the night when you least expect it.”
Chan swallows thickly and his skin pales considerably, but he maintains his stony expression.
“I walked on eggshells my entire life because of these people; the only sound of my mother’s voice that I remember are her sobs. If anyone knows what sort of attack is coming to our soldiers, it’s me. I care not if my head comes off my shoulders or if my innards are gutted from my body while I have to sit and watch with my own eyes. You know nothing of the pain that the Elves of Erbus have had to endure at the Mercy Division’s hands.”
Hot anger yanks at your heart, it boils your blood and turns your stomach. Every muscle in your body is taut like a rubber band waiting to snap.
“You are my Jarl, yes, and I respect you, my lord. But you will have to chain me to a wall to keep me away from the war. If my purpose is to be a human shield, then that is what The Six have decided for me. I finally have a chance to fight back, a chance to help the ghosts that haunt me every day, and you are stopping me. ”
Chan’s face twists up in emotional agony. The hand on your head shakes. His eyebrows furrow and his lips pull into a deep frown.
You can’t tell if it’s anger, frustration, denial, or a combination of all three.
“I cannot keep doing this dance with you, my lord. I am leaving for the front lines, and if this is my last memory of you, do not sully it with your stubbornness.”
His jaw drops open.
A gasp mixed with a sob sounds from somewhere to your left.
Chan releases your head slowly, the ghost of his touch remains on your skull even after it’s gone.
“Go.” His voice is weak, it cracks dryly.
He stares down at you for a long moment. Maybe only five seconds pass, but somehow it feels like an eternity.
“My lord–”
“Take my horse and get to Fort Mire. Tell Changbin what is coming. Reinforcements are being sent to our northern borders.”
Slowly, you push yourself to your feet, ignoring every single on-fire nerve ending in your leg. You don’t even allow yourself to flinch.
“Y/N–” Felix starts again, Jisung grabs his wrist. No one else in the room makes a move.
The yelling had come to a screaming halt and nothing but emotional silence filled the void.
Chan takes one last look at your face.
He scans over each detail, every curve, every scar and imperfection. He memorizes the way your eyes sit a tad unevenly on your face, the natural tint to your skin, the tilt of your nose, the thickness of your lips.
He makes sure he can remember exactly what color your eyes are. The way the light hits your bone structure and glows in an ethereal way. The way your chin has a small, faded scar on the very bottom.
The way that your hair is finally tucked behind your pierced, gently pointed ears.
And then he turns away.
“Ch–”
“ Go. ”
You didn’t get to say it.
The veins in his neck are popping, his throat bobbing as he swallows his emotions repeatedly through a constricted pipe.
He looks down at the floor, then up at the ceiling, then turns to the back wall. The back of his head is all you’re left to remember him by.
You bow your head even though he doesn’t see it.
Taking one last look around the room, you make sure to keep extended eye contact with each member of the court.
With Seungmin, who looks more content than anyone else in the room.
With Minho, who has a taut jaw, both hands are held behind his back.
With Jisung, who has his own tears forming and pouring over his round cheeks.
With Felix, who is pale and unable to find his voice to say goodbye.
And then you turn around, march down the center aisle of the throne room, and you shut the grand door behind you.
This was so heartbreaking. I mean, I get it though... Chan was probably looking forward to seeing her and then she shows up ready to leave again - no thought spared for him. You wrote that part so well - I felt the pain! Don't know what she thinks she's gonna achieve with her leg but I can't wait for more Elf interaction! 💙🌻
⎯⎯ pairs ‣‣‣ gang leader!lee minho x fem!witch!reader
⎯⎯ rating ‣‣‣ 18+
⎯⎯ genre ‣‣‣ smut ‣ historical!au ‣ fantasy!au ‣angst ‣ crime drama ‣ strangers to frenemies to lovers ‣ soulmates(?) ‣ hurt ‣ dark fic ‣ slow burn ‣ mythical!au ‣ historical!au ‣ fantasy!au ‣ magic!au ‣ mafia!au ‣ detective!au ‣ peaky blinders!au ‣ switch!minho x switch!reader
⎯⎯ warnings ‣‣‣ inappropriate language ‣ gore ‣ death ‣ attempted murder ‣ murder ‣ mythical creatures ‣ corpses ‣ magic ‣ witches ‣ werewolves ‣ curses ‣ monsters ‣ inaccurate historical references ‣ references to peaky blinders ‣ cigarette smoking ‣ alcohol consumption ‣ flashbacks ‣ horror imagery ‣ blood ‣ scars ‣ fires ‣ arson ‣ panic attacks ‣ trauma ‣ bigotry ‣ gross men ‣ asshole parents ‣ writer makes their own mythology for a universe ‣ author begs to not be murdered ‣ let me know if I missed any
⎯⎯ word count ‣‣‣ 14.8k words
remember to reblog and comment!
If there was one thing that Lee Minho knew that he detested, it was fear. He had seen death, he had caused it with his own hands, and it left him feeling small in a world of giants. At the fifth unofficial burial that Minho conducted in wartorn dirt, he promised himself that he would never be scared again. Fear was weakness. Fear could be exploited. Minho would never allow himself to feel such a way again.
Though, despite it all, hot spikes of fear stabbed at his skin. Hours had passed since he left you - and they continued to scorch his chest in its heat. Minho palmed his chest with a grimace of pain. He had been more than scared. He had been terrified.
The scars you held on your back were from his own kind. You were so fragile, so easily broken – he could tear you apart. Your scars were only proof of such a feat.
Because no matter how hard he tried, Minho still felt fear. Not of the shovels that played through his ears nightly. Not of the explosions that had caused him to drown in corpses. But you. Your body, your dead body, caught in his hands with blood falling from wounds he had made. He was a werewolf, he was not meant to dance with precious porcelain dolls like you.
The fear had developed faster than Minho could ever have predicted. There was something about you. The glassy stare of your hidden eyes, the dyed colour of your lips, the fixed posture on your back. No, Minho knew it was something more. Something that brought you a sense of importance. He wasn’t sure what caused it exactly, but he had always felt the presence of it, even when he ignored it. A drastic failure on his part.
Minho should have never given in to his desires. He should have known better than to trust his control. He should have ignored your request for help – the intrigue that stirred in his mind always brought trouble. Minho should have done everything except for those things that he did.
Yet, the last thing Minho should have done was leave you. His heart had ripped from his chest once he left the Yang manor. The way you looked at him, how that bliss and pleasure froze to sorrow. He had caused you to form into the porcelain doll once again. The thought, the images of you, hadn’t left his mind all night.
He laid on his bed and basked in the darkness his room provided. Not even the candles strung around his room were lit. Minho didn’t allow that. He didn’t deserve the light. Not even the moon shone bright in his window, it was instead dim and barely offered a moment of sight. The goddess herself was furious with him. Minho dug his nails into his chest, the spikes continued to burn him.
How selfish of him to worry about himself. You had trusted him. You had allowed him the honour of touching you. But, Minho took your trust and allowed it to die in his hands like so many bodies. Minho could not bear the thought of what was going through your mind. It would only result in more bloodshed, figurative or otherwise.
Because that was what Minho did best. People always managed to get those around him injured. He always brought death. If that happened to you, Minho knew he would never find satisfaction in life ever again. You had to be protected from him, porcelain broke too easily when stuck around claws.
“Are you still moping over that witch?” his bedroom door opened, and a warm light broke into his room behind the silhouette of his mother. Both his parents had arrived the previous morning, doting on him and Felix like they were children. It had provided the chance for Felix to tell them all about his Red, simply to irk Minho.
It worked. But, Minho did not let his younger brother know that.
He sat up from his bed, slower than someone crawling through the sludge of rubbish. Minho covered his face with his hands, darkness returned to his eyes. The light wasn’t deserved. “Mother, I’m not moping.”
The mattress creaked by his feet, and he heard his mother sigh. Her comforting hands, adorned in a ring from his father, pulled his hands from his face. Her look was stern, eyes frozen in a squint and lips tightened to a line. Minho detested the expression. There was never anger on her face but always worry. It hid in the eyes identical to his own.
“You’ve hidden away in here all night,” he pouted, like that of a childish puppy, and she cupped his face in her hands. Warm, and comforting, but it was not what Minho needed. Minho wanted back that ice that made his veins itch in desire, “she is just a witch. It should not be affecting you this badly.”
No. Minho bit down on his lip – words of denial built on his tongue. You were not only a witch. You were the furthest thing from that only. He wasn’t sure how to describe you. Minho knew there were not enough words in his vocabulary to do the work justice. But he did know one thing: he knew you were something special. You walked with purpose. You carried elegance with the tongue of a snake. You trenched through bars without a male escort. Your body told stories he could only wish to learn.
There was so much Minho could say about you, though it would never be enough. No words he could muster would be enough. But, none of the words he could use were of your species. Minho didn’t care about that. He never did. “I don’t know why it is.”
“This reminds me of when you were a child,” she swiped stray pieces of hair that had stuck to his forehead. Her eyes, a golden brown, shone brightly through the room. Like the light of a candle. Minho clenched his jaw and looked out the window. The moon was still horribly dim. “After that fire you witnessed, we were never able to visit the old farm and teach Yongbok to ride the horses. You were far too sad, your father had to carry you the entire trip home.”
His eyebrows furrowed. Minho had no recollection of a fire. He could remember the family farm, as well as the stables that he always loved to play in. They always stopped in a village for a single night, Minho could not remember much of the place despite the number of times he stayed there. It was an annual trip after all.
Surely he would recall a fire. Especially if it left him so saddened.
His mother waved her left hand, the ring on her finger shone in the sparse moonlight. He had always liked her ring. When his parents first met and realised their soul bond, his father had been poor. All he could afford was the ring, and he had sold many belongings to do so. But, even after their empire began in Minho’s childhood, she refused to improve the ring. “You refused to go anywhere after that day. So stubborn, even now, you’re just the same.”
“I don’t remember a fire,” Minho thought of all the times he would travel to the farm. Nothing. There was no recollection of a fire so horrible. The only fire he could think of was the night his father had accidentally burnt documents under the assumption they were old newspapers. It had only caused scorch burns along the bricks of the fireplace, but that was all.
She chuckled, as though the topic were light to discuss. As though no fire tortured his childhood mind. “Oh!” Minho grimaced under the tightening of his chest, he could feel the ghost of your gentle hand on his palm. Stiff, subtle, but exactly what would calm his mind. “You had meant to be sleeping but you snuck into the forest, and you witnessed a house burn down.”
His heart raced in remembrance while his brain continued to remain idle. The hair on his neck stood to attention and the pads of his fingers twitched. Minho urged his brain to catch up with his body’s memory, yet nothing occurred. Still, a simple blank image appeared while his body caused the spikes of fear to stab his chest. “How did I get home?” Your voice played in his mind, as it often did, and your childhood home came to mind.
Burnt.
Surrounded by a forest.
In a small village.
The odds were far too minimal. It was too improbable to be reality. “A lovely boy helped you find us when the sun rose.” Minho closed his eyes, the tap of his mother’s finger on her chin created an ambient noise. He could see the bright fire. Burning wood, mere inches from his face and around him in a short circle. His legs tensed, the smell of smoke was a distant memory to his nose, but it was all Minho could sense. “What was his name again?”
It was all around him. The fire had encircled him. He was trapped. Inside of the house. Minho was not a mere witness to its flames, he was a near fatality. But… no. There was another. A small silhouette, right in front of him. The thick smoke masked her from his eyes. He couldn’t see her properly.
“Oh! I remember!” Her hair was lifted in the air, as though she stood upside down. The fire burned bright around them both, rolling over her nightdress without catching the material to the flames. She looked like a doll. One caught in a place she should never be. Glassy eyes, dress torn, and back coated in slick red. Blood. “His name was Wooyoung.”
His telephone had begun to ring and Minho opened his eyes in shock. His hands shook, not dramatically, but enough for him to be annoyed by it. They refused to stop despite his attempted stillness. He needed you. Your cold hand on his always left him still. His mother took no notice of the shaking, instead, she whispered goodbye and kissed his forehead. The door closed behind her with the softest click, he almost missed it under the loud ringing.
Back to the darkness. The moon remained dark through his window. Minho walked over to the telephone, the fire still burning in his brain. His memory was still covered in a layer of fog, even as he fought to remember it. Facts felt missing from his mind – like a jigsaw puzzle with scattered pieces removed. The doll’s face, he could see details and yet nothing would collect together and form properly.
Until she pressed her palm to his own. Sparks. Brighter than the flames and stronger than anything he had felt. He would have stumbled, even now Minho clenched at his chest for balance, but the doll’s hand was strong. She held him still. She looked like you. Same face, same hair, same glassy stare. Minho could feel it in his spine, the touch had blunted the spikes of fear and created stability. You were almost identical to the doll. All she needed was red lipstick.
You would have said something. It would have been in the blunt tone that Minho hung from. Your nose would have been tilted to the sky and your stare would have been cold. As though it were no deal worth mentioning. He knew you would have spoken of a boy, of him, being in your home the night it burned down.
It was a coincidence. That was all. He could not have been in your home the night werewolves set it alight. Minho wouldn’t have engaged in such things. It was impossible.
“Mr Lee, I am going to be needing your blood.” His blood felt frozen inside his veins. It was you. You had telephoned him. Even after he had left you near-nude in the Yang manor. The fire extinguished within his mind, the fog and smoke dissipated as the young doll melted into the darkness. Your voice. Your words. You. It was a wonder how just a simple string of words created a sea of peace in his mind but the chaos of a stampede in his chest.
Your voice was quiet in his ear. He could feel the tense anguish emanating from you. Minho could see you, in your nightgown with your ankles crossed in the armchair. Your lips stuck in a line while you clenched your jaw. Even mad, you would look breathtaking. His heart raced.
He knew of his mistake. You knew of his mistake. But, Minho knew he would not change the reality of what happened. You had been hurt by his kind, your precious body scarred from dangerous claws. Minho clenched his jaw as an old nightmare sat in his mind. Your body, bloodied and weak in his arms, sunglasses fallen and eyes gone of the light and passion he adored.
Dead. In his arms. With fucking Kang Taehyun smirking above your corpse. His idiotic pack war. Minho would rather live life never getting to see you again than allow you to be a casualty to Taehyun’s greed.
“This could not wait until morning?” Minho wished for his expression to remain stoic. However, his wish remained unheard as the smallest of grins fell upon his lips. Just your voice, no matter how tense, brought him comfort. He was sure you detested him further than the beast – not that he could fault you for such beliefs. It was his own hand that fed the fury within you. “Would you not agree that this hour is rather absurd for a telephone conversion? Though, I won’t complain. It is always nice to hear your voice.”
Minho grimaced at his own words. He could feel the festering anger build within you as each second passed. Once again it was his fault. He had always been blunt with you, just as you were with him, and he had never shied from discussing his inner thoughts. Though, he wasn’t sure what to do. Minho knew he was no longer trusted to say those thoughts any longer. That trust had burned in a fire of lust and betrayal hours earlier. “I only learnt that I would require werewolf blood a few moments before I contacted you,” warm light erupted in the corner of his eye. A spark alone. It was gone before Minho caught the cause in his eyes, “Perhaps you should instead consider yourself fortunate that I still elect to converse with you, Mr Lee.”
Minho doubted you would ever completely understand the luck he felt whenever your lips whispered a mere word to him. That fortune only grew over the hours since your union at the Yang manor. He had never been so blessed than to have been gifted the sound of your voice, the sight of your brief grins and the touch of your hand on his skin.
He had never been so taken by someone in his life. Someone who he was never meant to encounter. His destiny had always been clear – bleak. Minho was destined to die young. Without a single person by his side. He had lived through a great war and came out alive. He had been told of his singular future when he was a child and still stood tall. You were never meant to step into his life. Yet, you had.
Perhaps that made you his charm of luck. Never had Minho felt so alive as when he met you. The fire that raged within his body burned too bright, only that your ice could dare tame. A match to his wit and a soft hand to hold. All his life, his father had talked of the day he met Minho’s mother. How it felt as though something clicked within his mind. It made sense, the werewolf mating ritual had worked that way for centuries.
That was, until Minho.
He was, and always was meant to be, alone. There was no soul designed by the goddess of the moon waiting for him in the world. He had known that for certain since he was seven. Even before that night at the witch’s parlour, Minho felt nothing in his heart. No spark of life tingled when he would gaze at someone meant for him. The space in his body was a mere void, there was no shape of the one person who was supposed to be his love.
“I don’t deserve to hear from you, Red.” He could never be more thankful that you still spoke to him. Even if it included the resentment he deserved.
“It seems we are in complete agreement.”
There was malice in your tone. A subtle inflection that was enough to make his head spin and fist curl together. Never did you speak with emotion clear in your voice. It had always intrigued him, pulled him in further to your mystery, but Minho knew he was not mistaken. There was a shatter in your facade. Not completely broken, but enough of a crack that things could spill through. It seemed your anger was the first of them all.
Minho should snap his bones for such a feat. Of course, he had desired to see the mask slip from your cheeks, but never in the way it had. He desired for it to fall as it had that morning in the field. Where he had felt your passion, strong and addicting. That was the only way it should be removed for him.
Never from pain. Pain that Minho inflicted himself. “Tomorrow night, I will need you to come to my home and I will take the blood then. You don’t mind syringes, correct?”
“You seem as though you want to cause me some pain,” he had never been one to avoid bluntness. It went against who he was. Evading truth with manipulation, answering a question with directness yet still alluding to those around him was entertaining. Minho indulged often. But, never with you. You had always been able to see him properly,
Even if he wanted to tangle your mind in a web, he knew it would never work. You were like him – you enjoyed the same evasive behaviour. “That would be correct.” Minho clenched his jaw to avoid the whine he wanted to make. He knew why, he knew that he deserved it. He never should have gotten involved with you. Minho should have trusted his mind the moment he first saw you that first night. But, Minho was weak. And the price was your porcelain facade. “Only slightly though, I do still need your influence in the future.”
The ice in your words was barely a promise, but it cooled the inferno in his mind. Minho looked out the window of his bedroom, the moon shone brighter than it had before. Not overly so, but his room shined under the cold glow of its growing light. A large shadow slipped down the street, twice the size of any human he had met, with pointed ears and a low growl he almost missed.
The beast was back. Minho stirred in his emotions. Should he say something? He was sure you already had an idea it still roamed, but guilt poked his skin with fiery rods. If he spoke, you would be gone sooner. If he stayed silent, you would require his help longer. He could keep you in his life.
How atrocious of him to think of a monster as someone who would aid him in his self-inflicted trouble.
The light of the moon dimmed once again, leaving his room in the utter darkness he created. “I look forward to that day.” You stayed silent, but Minho felt your frustration. He knew it was his own fault. Your emotions must be as troubled as his own. He dug a finger into his thigh to hold back his tongue from speaking more. There was another spark of light in the corner of his eye. He turned to catch it before it left.
The candle on his bedside table. It was lit. A small flame that Minho was certain he had never set.
[—]
The apothecary was used to daft smells. Ingredients that tangled in the air and destroyed the nose of anyone misfortunate enough to smell. With the numerous jars opened, all with their own rancid smells, it was a punishment on your nose. “I still cannot say I agree with adding worm’s wart. It is rarely required in the drought.” It smelt of blood, sulphur and the buckets soldiers used as toilets in the infirmary tent. You scrunched your nose at the smell, a gag built in your throat from the senses. The tongue of newt, the third one you required, felt like slime on your fingers and the scent was like that of mould.
Your night had been spent with little sleep and your nose completely focused on research books. It was a stroke of luck that you had found a potion for Areum. One that was risky. One that barely anyone had been able to make correctly. One with no name. You hadn’t heard of such a potion before that night. Yet, it had been scrawled along the back of Mi-Sook’s diary with recipes for the other untamed potions hidden in your apothecary floor.
It would be worth the trouble if the potion of fertility could bring Areum and Jeongin the baby they desired. “It will make the drought act immediately instead of over an hour,” you placed another slimy tongue into the second dish on the table. Nari knew of your deal with the Yangs, though you had lied about the risks it would cause. It was simpler that way, “though I do agree that the smell is atrocious.”
The other potion was a sleeping drought. To place Jin-Ae in an immediate peaceful slumber while you and the others who knew of her curse would attempt to rectify it. Your stomach churned at the oncoming night. A horrible feeling. Sending someone to the spirit world was dangerous, especially for a human to do so, it was why you had to put her to sleep. There would be risk, but, you had already warned Jin-Ae of such chances.
She agreed that it would not harm her. She was physically unable to die.
Nari sipped from her tea, loose leaves of flavour stuck to the thick rim of the black mug. All morning, the delirious smell had irked you. You couldn’t guess what was inside of it – something you prided yourself on doing. “What recipe is that again?” It smelt delicious, it left your mouth drooling just from the smell alone.
You closed the jar of tongues and walked over to your sister with the dishes in hand. Without a moment’s breath, she handed you the mug to taste the tea, her other hand still measuring the worm’s wart. “Soobin’s great-grandmother’s, I believe… though I can’t quite remember the exacts.” You sniffed the tea first. Still, you couldn’t guess it, but you ignored that irk in your gut and took a long sip from the drink. The taste bloomed on your tongue, your head filled with a field of daisies. Your skin tingled as the flower’s smell overtook the worm's wort. It was as delicious as it smelt. “He said it’s supposed to help nausea pass.”
Inquisitively, you hummed and handed back the mug of tea. “I will have to ask for the ingredients.” She smiled at you, swiping the knife over the measurements to ensure it was exact. It was no surprise it made her grin, just the chance of peace between you and Soobin must have felt joyful. You had intentions to act friendly with him, he did make your sister happy after all. Though you had no promise of staying nice if he continued to treat you as less. “Could you please grind some chicken bones?”
You closed the jar for Nari and reached for the small vial of vampire blood you kept on the bottom shelving. Nari nodded and poured the measured worm’s wart into the dish, walking to the side to collect the bag of bones. An unfortunate requirement for witchcraft. “I missed this,” you poured two drops of the blood into each dish, letting the silence tense through the apothecary. You looked over your shoulder to watch Nari, her long hair fell sweetly down her shoulder and her nightgown flowed under the sun’s rising glow. She elaborated on her words. “When was the last time we worked together without fighting?”
Teeth sunk into your inner cheek — it was always her that made those arguments occur. Never was your intention to fight with her, you doubted that she engaged with the behaviour on purpose, but the last two months were a repeat of the same attitude. A deep resentment in your gut blamed Soobin for the change in your relationship with Nari.
Before him, you both were friends. Quite good friends in your opinion. You took care of one another, would fight for each other and even when her frustrating tendencies surfaced you were always there together. The bond had always been strong. Then, once she began to date him, everything you did caused her agony. Even when those actions were things she once adored.
Alas, your sister was happy. Soobin made her happy. That was what mattered most. Not your bitterly affected ego. You only hoped she knew you were attempting to be better and see him as the man she saw him for.
“You have a point.”
“I never quite thought that men would be what divided us,” she giggled to herself as the bones crushed between the mortar and pestle. Worry tingled in your spine under the crack of each bone. You grabbed the final ingredient’s jar with slow movements, clenching your jaw to ignore that stress working through you. The small jar was warm to the touch, despite how it had sat for weeks alone. The candle wax, once etched with runes before it melted into your own blood and mixed. Your stomach churned, you had never expected to need to use the ingredient of your blood again. “Especially a werewolf! We should be lucky that -”
You huffed and placed down the jar of blood wax, the knife beside it lay in wait to be used. “We agreed to not speak in such ways anymore,” since the previous night’s disagreement, Nari had continuously begged for forgiveness. Through her tears, kneeling and grovelling, you hadn’t been sure of what to do. Thankfully, Eui explained after your morning shower that she talked with her after Soobin left. All to help her see reason. “Don’t tell me you have already forgotten?”
She sipped from the tea, her expression forlorn even before the heavy frown melted her smile. “You’re right. It is an old habit.” You understood that, both your mother and grandmother had spoken far worse rhetoric regarding werewolves. It was unfortunate that all her life, Nari had acted as the sponge to it. “He did hurt you, though.”
“Which is the fault of the man, not his species.”
You bit down harder on your cheek, ignoring the desire to yell your thoughts. Such as how she was infatuated with a man who treated you like the dirt beneath a pile of animal faeces. Then the time she had been betrayed by an orc, yet convinced your mother to not curse the entire species. Nari had insisted that not all orcs are bad.
You could still hear the laughter of your grandmother at Nari’s words. Yet, they both had listened to her. In the ways that Nari was not listening to you. Though, you were sure it was a slightly different situation. The relationship between orcs and witches had always been tame compared to the battle between your kind and Lee Minho’s.
Nari sighed and nodded her head. Her mouth opened to speak, but the bell above the apothecary door rang as it opened. You found yourself staring at the freckled face that glowed far brighter than the sun. “Good morning, Red!”
You straightened your posture and clenched your fists on the knife. Nari stared at the door with dark eyes. Her squint was harsher than you had seen before, the wrath rolled in waves of heavy emotions. Under her water, you felt suffocated.
“Good morning to you as well, Yongbok,” you looked away from him and slid on your sunglasses. Your heart was rapid within your chest. A werewolf. His kind could not take over your mind. They could not use unguarded eyes for the weakness they were. And yet, fear tangled in your spine from the chance his kind had advanced without your knowledge.
He had lied to you for years. There was a chance that he could do anything to you.
Rationale argued the fear in your mind. Yongbok had many opportunities to hurt you in the past, ones he never partook in, but the chance of it ate at your throat. It didn’t mean that he wouldn’t take those chances in the future.
“Nari, could you please finish out the final measurements for me? I will be back shortly,” you tilted your head upward while she nodded. You returned the knife to the counter, beside the jar of blood wax, and went to the door. Yongbok grinned. You were thankful that you had gotten dressed for the day, unlike your sister who stayed in her nightgown.
Quickly you glanced over his shoulder. An older woman stood there. Her head was faced down under an overly brimmed hat, the thin short veil covered her face. Her white blouse was pinned to her elbows, but the long black gloves she wore hid the rest of her arms. Black hair, aged with grey streaks that shone under the warming sun, waved slightly through the strands.
Only when she looked up at you, a cigarette hung on her lips, did you want to close the door and leave. Her eyes. They were just like Minho’s. Her face was like Yongbok’s, with the same constellation of freckles along her cheeks, but the cold gaze was identical to her eldest son. You turned back to Yongbok, his grin looked wicked instead of the warm one you always saw.
“Red, my dear friend, it is about time you finally met my mother!” He had thrown you to a wolf desperate for a feed. Her piercing eyes scrutinised you, the lamb awaiting the oncoming slaughter. You stepped out of the apothecary with a slow foot, and the door behind you slammed shut. “This is the one I’ve told you about, Mother.”
“Of course,” two fingers met across each side of her cigarette, and the woman removed it from her lips. The smoke fell out in a long breath as she stalked closer to her prey, “how could I forget about the witch that enchanted both of my sons?”
Whether it was your bloodline or the relationships you shared with her sons, you could feel the tension. A drop of sweat rolled down your neck, only alighting the senses of the wolf. The fear of a lamb, you were sure that the hungry predator found it delicious.
You glared at Yongbok, and he only offered an awkward smile in return. “Lovely to meet you, Mrs Lee,” you spoke through clenched teeth as you turned to her. Her lips were pursed and the deadly eyes stared at you. “I had no idea you were back in the city. Is there anything I can help you with this morning?”
“I was simply intrigued by you, my dear,” the faintest of smiles found a way onto her face, a deep dimple joined in her right cheek. It wasn’t malice. The starved wolf instead held the same grin as her cub, only muted. “I never would have believed that a decent witch existed. Yet my boys swear you are all that and more.”
Yongbok grinned and turned away from your confused stare. He joined his mother on the street, jumping down the steps to your door with haste. “That was more Minho than me. I moreso insisted that you held him by the neck.”
Mrs Lee inhaled from her cigarette once again and her smile grew. It was warm. As a mother wolf’s smile should always be. She watched her youngest son with fond eyes, “You also said that she smelled different,” Jealousy stirred in your gut. Never had your mother shared such a smile when she watched over you. “I have to say I do agree. There is something more, but it is quite faint.”
You ignored the immediate offence that grew in your throat. Yongbok was not a human, despite how you had always known him. He was a werewolf, as was his mother. They meant your scent of sage.
“While I appreciate the fact you don’t detest me, I can’t help but wonder,” a feeling akin to that of relief warmed some of the ice in your bones. You weren’t sure why. Minho would not be in your life longer than necessary, though the idea caused your heart to sink, and Yongbok was lessened from a friend to that of an acquaintance. Their mother’s approval should not warm you as it did, “what exactly is my scent then?”
The wolf stepped closer, but you weren’t the little lamb that originally shook in her presence. You stood still as she smelt the air around you in silence, a comforting warmth floated in your body. The feeling left you frigid. It had not been the same as when she stalked you like meat beforehand. This was worse.
“For some reason,” the wolf grew closer and you clenched your jaw. Her smile was still just as warm as when she had been watching Yongbok, “you smell like Minho. His old scent… though it’s weak.”
Old scent?
Never had you heard of a werewolf’s scent changing as they grew older. It would have been recorded in your family's books if they had heard of the phenomenon. You would have to question him about it that night.
You wanted to groan. Even when Minho wasn’t around, he still played on your mind. The fascination grew the more you learnt of him, you doubted it would ever stop. Your heart thumped at the mere thought of him, and you curled your hands together and squeezed tight. He pulled you in with such ease. He had since that first night you saw him.
She looked you up and down once more before the mother wolf retreated. Stormy skies replaced the stern stare she held, her smile bright like Yongbok’s own. “I heard your grandmother passed,” those positive lights faded when her gaze turned to the apothecary behind you.
You tilted your forehead and furrowed your eyebrows. “I didn’t realise you knew her.”
“We only met once,” she frowned with tight lips. The two fingers that held her cigarette pinched tight on the stick. Dislike shone brighter than before on her expression, no mask dared show through it. Your grandmother had always been one to divide opinions, but the majority of people tended to agree with Mrs Lee. You’d seen many people spit at her grave since she passed. “That was more than enough time.”
A simple wave was her only goodbye. You had survived a wander through the wolf’s den. Her manner had been far kinder than her son had shown you the previous day. An unfortunate reality that caused you to sneer.
Alone with Yongbok, you were unsure of what to say. It had been a while since you last spoke properly with him. Yet, your ego continued to poke you in the gut. He had lied for years. He knew who you were and how you trusted him with that knowledge. But the courtesy was not given in return.
Yongbok should have known better than to believe your opinion of him would change based on his blood. But, he should have rationalised that you would change your opinion because he omitted honesty.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” It broke the thick silence between you. He stared at you with large eyes, lit with stars that sparkled along his cheeks. You turned away, but the puppy-dog eyes continued to stare at your back. “Did you not believe I would continue our friendship?”
Yongbok walked back toward the steps, and you turned back to him. His pout was long, cheeks flushed and his eyes watery as he avoided your gaze. “I don’t know.” His voice was tight, the low tone you had always known for him grew deeper under the weight of it. Your mouth formed a frown at his expression. Pain. Pure pain. “We always were taught to keep it secret. Especially from witches.”
You knew the lesson far too well. Familiar lessons had always been important in your childhood, and that remained in your current life. The lessons that you heavily detested still played an unfortunate role in how you thought, even when you attempted to defy the thinking.
You couldn’t be mad at Yongbok when you would do the same thing as he. It was far more dangerous for a werewolf than it was for a witch. A werewolf would lose any portion of humanity and control they had if the wrong person discovered the truth.
“I wanted to tell you. This whole time. I'm so sorry, Red.”
You adjusted your sunglasses and turned your body fully to face him. “It’s okay, Yongbok.” He sadly smiled at your words, hopefulness bright in his eyes, “however, I believe you owe me a favour.”
[—]
Timing. It was a fickle process when it came to the creation of potions. A single moment extra of stirring could turn a potion from the exact colour to an atrocious pot of sludge. Precision had to always be employed, or else the result would be maddening.
It was why you kneeled on the floor, your face hovered over two cauldrons. One hung from the hook on your fireplace, the flames distraught beneath the heavy metal. The purple mixture bubbled away as you sliced the wax melted with your blood into the liquid. The second cauldron sat alone beside you, a wooden spook stirred it alone. The closest heat source it had were three candles, lit with a blue flame as the rune etched into the wax glowed black.
You couldn’t trust Nari to watch over the potions. As of late, she was far too easily distracted. Her lost focus could easily result in a neverending slumber drought instead of the sleeping one you intended to create. You clenched your jaw and watched the wax melt into the purple mixture — you weren’t much better than her. Just a silhouette could make you flustered on the chance it was Minho.
A muttered charm left your lips and the fire burned brighter, its flames a burnt orange of heat. The blood released further into the liquid and you stirred it together with a spoon. Two minutes. Anything less would kill the potion to that of water and anything more would create prolonged death. Once that was done, you would simply need the werewolf blood and the second cauldron could bubble away for hours.
Those forbidden potions always required longer hours of brewing. You were just thankful that this one required a day at most.
Hyunjin and Eui sat together on the couch, her legs hanged over his while he mindlessly drew shapes onto her thigh. He was not meant to be there, you weren’t sure why he had even arrived at your home. You could forgive Changbin, who stood with Jin-Ae in the corner, whispering together with his hand comfortably on her waist. He wanted to ensure that she was safe. Even when they refused to admit such closeness with each other.
Your sister was upstairs in your bedroom, finishing the ritual designs needed for the night. She wanted to ensure everything was perfect. You understood that, her intuition had been annoying her all day, as had your own, but it was unnecessary. Alas, you both had been taught to trust your gut. And her senses for danger were often stronger than your own.
It left only one more person in your home. Lee Minho himself. He sat in silence on your armchair, the sleeve of his top rolled to the forearm. His protruded veins had made your mind delirious, and the heat from his stare burned you brighter than the fire.
You couldn’t dare look at him. He was not even supposed to arrive at your home. You had taken Yongbok’s blood to ensure that you could avoid Minho. It left two situations. Either Yongbok had forgotten to inform his brother that the deal was done, or Minho simply did not care.
It was most certainly the latter. Minho wasn’t one to enjoy being ignored. You had refused to let him speak the previous night over the telephone. In fact, you had ended the telephone call the moment you gave him the information he would need. He had even been mid-sentence.
Not your finest moment, but you blamed it on the mortification that took hold. Had it been him, you knew he would not have acted so immature but he also was not the one left alone. One minute left. “I will be awoken, right?” Jin-Ae asked the question loud enough for the whole room to hear. You had already told her how it would work. That she would be asleep for two days at most.
You assumed that she had just grown to distrust witches over the centuries she had lived. “Of course you will!” Eui moved from Hyunjin’s lap to face the woman, you were sure her loving warm smile was displayed brightly on her cheek. “And then, once you’re awake, you’ll be a proper human again!”
A break of silence went through the room. Tension — more than what had already been built. She would be safe with the sleeping drought, that much was certain to you, but there was no promise the curse would be removed. All of you knew that.
Though, it was still a chance larger than what she had in the past. She wouldn’t be able to die regardless. Time’s up.
You lifted your hand into the air and whispered a spell under your breath. The cauldron, boiling from the fire, lifted into the air around you. It slowly moved toward the exposed brick floor beneath you and sat nestled on the empty area to your left. The stirring spoon stopped as it landed, the liquid a vivacious purple — it smelled like that of lavender. Perfectly made.
Four chimes played from the grandfather clock in the hallway and shattered the silence between you all. “I suggest you get a drink, Jin-Ae,” you looked over your shoulder. Her eyes were wide, the long hair you had always associated with her seemed to resemble string instead of the usual silk. Each wave was uneven, strands poked outward and some stuck to the skin of her cheeks, “this will taste atrocious.”
“Joy,” she muttered. You doubted anything that tasted bad had touched her tongue before, the wealth she had always displayed would ensure it. Perhaps she had lived a life of only luxury despite the curse that haunted her.
Jin-Ae left the room, with the others falling behind at the chance for a drink, and only you and Minho remained. You were sure that it was a plan from Changbin, his pointed stare at you was enough to think that. The silence returned and thickened around you.
He didn’t dare speak. And you were not going to be the one who broke it. You turned back to the second cauldron, still cold and waiting for the fire. It needed the blood and that would be all. You reached for the vial of werewolf blood and held it gently, your eyes squinted to focus on the liquid.
“Did you know that you tend to scrunch your nose when you focus?” His voice made your blood run hot. Burning lava destroyed the pieces of ego and pride that desperately held onto your control. He hadn’t spoken the whole night, his voice was croaky. Yet it sounded immaculate. Your fingers twitched above the cauldron, the vial nearly fell from your hand as it shook.
You unscrunched your nose almost immediately, a large stomp from your ego squashed the urge to hold your nose in surprise. “I didn’t know that,” you admired it bitterly and tapped a drop into the cauldron. It danced through the dark liquid and caused a small bubble to pop on the surface.
Without turning to face him, you hung the cauldron above the fire. You waved your hand to lessen the flames so it would not overheat. Now, it just needed to boil away for a day. Easy. “It’s a cute mannerism. Though you make it look far better.” No. Not easy. How dare you think anything that somehow involved Lee Minho would be easy.
“Why are you here? I’m sure Yongbok told you that I already took his blood instead.” You stood from the floor, the bones in your legs popped at the sudden stretch, and stared at him through your sunglasses. His heat remained steadfast, eyes stared right back up at you from his seat on your armchair.
Directness was often the best way to go when it came to Minho. You would agree it was best for yourself, too, but the idea of being similar to him made your heart stutter in its beats and your fists curl together with fury. “I know the risks that you are taking tonight,” you kept your expression frozen as you watched him. The emotions swirled in your gut, desperate to break through and take him in your arms, you buried them beneath layers of mental concrete, “I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“There is no need. Men, and werewolves especially, cannot be near a ritual.” There had been one seance in recorded history that involved a man. He had attempted it help his sister, a ghost lost between worlds, pass to her desired realm. It didn't work. Instead, he died and was cursed to live as a phantom much like her. Your mother had taken both you and your sister to the home he haunted when you were children as a warning. Men brought death for everyone. “It’s dangerous.”
“As is attempting to summon a dead spirit to remove a curse,” you gathered another reason to torture the two bodyguards whom you were hesitant to call friends. They would have overheated you and your sister that morning, and it went right back to their boss. Bastards. “It would settle my own mind to know you aren’t in any more physical danger than necessary.”
You turned up your nose and dusted your dress, the black fabric clung tight to your skin. You couldn’t decide whether you would rather wear more layers in front of Minho or be completely naked before him. Nails dug into your palms and you clenched your jaw, your heart was erratic in your chest at the conundrum of emotions you felt.
“It may astound you, Mr Lee, but I do not care whether your mind is at peace or not.” The lie was bitter on your tongue. Unfortunately, you wanted to ensure he was not stressed, you wanted him to feel peace around you. But, he didn’t deserve to know that. He had ruined that for himself.
Everything fell back to silence between you. His jaw, tightly clenched together, clicked as he burned his eyes through the floor. A soft frown was on his face, just the slightest bit lower than the usual way his lips sat. The slight downturned curl made your eyes widen.
Why was he frowning? He was someone who hid behind a calm expression. Always. Yet, now he frowned. Your heart felt like a hummingbird in your chest at the implication it came from your lack of care. You knew better than to believe it though. There was something else in his mind.
It wouldn’t have been due to your words. If it were — you weren’t sure how you would react. The mere idea made your own frown grow.
In walked the four others, each holding a shot of dark rum in their hands while Jin-Ae held two. You looked away and poured the cooling drought into the prepared glass, steam still dissipated from it. Good. Its effects would weaken the colder it was. They all cheered to the shots, but the noise fell quiet.
You could feel him staring at you. The burn on your neck as you worked in silence to avoid missing the glass rim. Your hands shook, just slight enough that the glass barely wobbled, as the memory of his previous visit walked into your mind. How tense it had felt, how close you were, how close you were to kissing him. Now, you knew how soft his lips felt on yours, how good of a kisser he was… you bit your cheek and focused back on the pouring.
Fuck. He was right. You fixed your face of the scrunched nose again. How did you not know you did that? Your mother would have disciplined it during your childhood if she knew. How long had you partaken in it?
“Rules are simple,” you turned back around with the glass of sleeping drought nestled in your fist. Their shots had all been drunk, except for Jin-ae’s second, and they watched you with slightly wavy gazes, “all of you must do what I say and stay in this room. People may be injured if you don’t. Understood?”
Three hushed nods. Perfect. You gave them more information in quick succession. To leave the potion alone, that your cat was asleep in Nari’s bedroom and that when it was done you would all meet them downstairs.
Lilac steam danced into the air above the glass in your hand. Strong lavender. Your eyes felt heavy just from the smell. Gently, you handed it over to Jin-ae, she stared with wide eyes and took it in a shaky hand. The liquid swirled inside the glass but none spilt onto your carpet.
“See you on the other side,” she whispered the words to everyone but it was clear who the words were meant for. Changbin watched with his lips tight in a line as Jin-Ae drank the entirety of the drought. Her face contorted in disgust at the strong taste, but you already saw her expression fall to relaxation. “I’ll be back soon, Binnie.”
Through the slurred words, Changbin blushed and helped her to take her final shot of whiskey. She did so without complaint, dropping the glass in his hand when it was finished. Eui caught onto her torso, and the sleep-drunk woman hung an arm over Eui’s shoulder — her eyes half closed.
You led them both upstairs and instructed Eui on how to place her if Jin-Ae was unable to do so herself. Her eyes seemed to glow in the candles leading to your bedroom door, and they crinkled as she nodded and smiled.
Her confidence in you was palpable. You could only hope that it would be proven correct. It has been a long time since you held a group ritual alone. Nayeon has always been with you for support, but she was busy with Wooyoung and ensuring everything went according to plan. Your sister, while you loved her, had no experience leading a ritual. It would just be you.
Eui carried Jin-Ae, who was almost entirely asleep already, into your bedroom. You looked inside of the room, all the candles were lit and the bag of herbs you would require sat tied beside your place. Matches laid beside it and the ornate box, engraved with your family crest, completed the final requirement.
The curse needed a place to stay once it was removed from her, after all.
“I have a bad feeling,” your sister held both arms across her chest and stomach, looking at you with a saddened gaze. Her sunglasses were gone, sat on your mattress beside the chalk she had used to create the designs along your floor. “Do you think something will happen?”
You looked away from your room and to Nari. Neither of the others had heard her fear. It would not help the final result if they did. You closed your door slightly as Eui laid the sleeping body of Jin-Ae in the correct stance. “They all know the risks. So long as we follow the regular rules, everything shall be fine.”
“Are you sure?” Nari held your hand in her own. A gentle hold, one for reassurance. You weren’t sure if she was asking for it or attempting to provide it. The truth was that you weren’t sure. How could you be?
Too many factors were different to how you usually ran these group sessions. There was no certainty. No normalcy. “Yes.”
You both walked into your bedroom and you closed the door behind you. Eui was far more prepared this time. She already sat on her knees with her palms facing upward on her thighs. Her eyes were closed and her lips pursed as she waited. Nari mimicked the posture beside her, looking at you one last time with worry before she closed them.
Your stomach stirred. There was no time to restart anything. You could only move forward in the ritual. It would be a waste of days for everyone if you cancelled the entire ritual. Not to mention, Jin-Ae had already taken the sleeping drought and entered her state of unconsciousness. There were only two days she would be like that.
You removed your sunglasses and placed them on your vanity. The flames all around your room seemed far brighter. As though it was not just from the dozens of candles etched with runes. You knelt on the floor, your sister on your left and Eui to your right.
In the centre of the chalk circle was Jin-Ae. Her legs were spread slightly and her arms flat on the floor. Her eyes were shut calmly and her expression relaxed. She looked somewhat at peace. Innocent almost. You held the bag of herbs in your hand and poured the entirety of it atop her slowly moving stomach.
“Remember to keep your eyes shut, Eui. Only when I say you can are you allowed to open them,” she nodded without opening her eyes and you looked over to your sister. She knew the words were at her as well. While Nari was safe from danger if she allowed herself to watch — it was never the desirable choice. Madness was promised to anyone who stared into the flames. No, it would leave Nari mindless and broken. That was if she were fortunate enough for such a fate.
You lit a match and threw it onto the pile of dusty herbs. All of them caught immediate fire, burning a bright orange as lavender roamed through your bedroom. None of her clothes caught flame, and neither did her skin. It was as though her body laid underwater as the flames washed over in large waves.
Smoke filled the room as you all began the chants. The orange flame on Jin-Ae turned to a beautiful purple while the other candles all burnt black in their fire. The smoke was thin. You barely felt it around you as the smell enchanted you with its lavender aroma.
The fire grew larger, the height taller than you. Its colour remained purple, though the hue of it shifted from vibrant to a murky mud, and your chants stuttered on your tongue. It wasn’t normal. The fire was never meant to be so large.
There was a pop sound and the fire hit the roof. Its flames turned green as they painted your roof in scorch marks. The lavender smell was charred. It smelled as though it had walked through an acre of fire. It smelled incorrect.
You picked up your chanting to the correct rhythm once again, raising your volume to match the others. The fire looked sickly in its deep green colour atop Jin-Ae’s body. More smoke rolled from the fire, and the burnt smell of the herbs grew suffocating. It was thicker, like the smoke from your dream, and pitch black. You couldn’t see much through it – only those flames that burned atop Jin-Ae and Eui, her eyes closed tight.
Her face was scrunched in what appeared to be agony through the depth of smoke, her head tilted down to her shoulder. Like a child attempting to shield their eyes from violence. The ends of her hair caught in the pull of the smoke and lifted into the air. “She looks like you,” her voice was bleak, charred with tension that caused it to croak.
Your throat closed against the smoke, it had already delved into your lungs and curled to choke you. Something was wrong. “Eyes closed,” you turned to where your sister would be sitting. The smoke was too thick to see her, the fire too bright that the gleam in your eye only further aided in the blindness, “that is for you as well Nari. Keep them shut.”
The fire before you burned brighter. It enticed you to look closer, to gaze into the flames that would cause you madness. You turned your head back to Eui to avoid the temptation. It only led to trouble. You had heard of death for some who gazed into the fire. “She cannot hear you.”
The thick scent of burnt lavender surrounded you as the smoke coated your skin in its sludge. Eui’s voice was not her own. It sounded the same, and yet there was darkness. You could feel it prickle your skin and create gooseflesh of fear. “Eui, focus on the chanting,” your sister continued to speak for the three of you. Her voice was loud enough that it thumped in your ears next to the crackle of the fire.
“There is no time for chanting.” She was clear through the smoke, as though it had parted so you could witness it. Her face had looked up and stared at you, though her eyes remained closed. Eui’s features had smoothed in relaxation, no crinkle or dimple within her skin of fear. However, something was obvious. A sparkling tear slipped down her cheek. “You are too late.”
Too late. Your eyes flickered over to Jin-Ae, the green fire on top of her whispered for your attention. She slept soundly, her clothes unmarked from the flames. Still, you could not see your sister. Her voice was clear through the smoke, chanting in rhythm as she was meant to, but you couldn’t find her. Too late.
You continued to chant, quietly as you looked down at your lap. There was laughter in your ear, wicked and dark, from Eui’s body. You felt small, your voice almost silent to the joyous noise. “Futile, I had hoped my lineage would bring around stronger witches,” your lips trembled as you continued to whisper the words. Nari carried the ones for the spell, she would sustain it well enough, and you transitioned to a chant of protection. One for everyone in the room, “but look at what the gods graced me with. Someone who would destroy her own blood for a stupid dog. And the other, so close to death. You still don’t know anything do you Red?”
The voice brought back its laughter, you glanced back up to Eui and felt your heart drop. More tears fell down her cheeks, her smile was big, and her eyes were wide open. They were burning brighter than the green fire on Jin-Ae’s chest. The laughter slowly turned into a piercing scream of agony as the bright white light where Eui’s eyes were meant to be melted at her skin. The skin on her cheeks grew dimples as it melted inward to her bones.
Burnt lavender turned to burnt skin. You leaned back in fear, unable to turn away despite how you tried. Nari still chanted peacefully. As though the screams had not hit her ears and like everything was fine. “You have disobeyed your family,” the voice was darker as the light melted more of Eui’s skin. Her hair caught fire in the glow and a burning black flame rose through the strands. The two arms, still placed on her thighs with her palms upward to the roof, bent at improbable angles. The snapping of the bones shocked you and you stood up straight with a wince. Her melted hand, the skin like goo on her bones, forced yours into its hold. “You will regret everything, traitor.”
The white light from her eyes was hot. It dried the tear that attempted to slip down your face. You were burning alive. You were melting like Eui. Your eyes screamed in pain but you couldn’t look away despite how you tried. It was like the green fire of madness. You had told Eui. You had warned her that the fire was dangerous to look at for multiple seconds. But, she had done it. She gave in to the temptation.
Eui was dead. And her body was burning as your ancestor used her like a doll. Mi-Sook. You recognised the voice. It pounded in your ears and muted the sounds of your sister’s chants. Her hand, more bones than skin, cracked as she grabbed your face with inhumane strength. The pointed ends of her fingers dug into your cheeks, your blood was hot as it dripped down your skin. “Goodbye,” she forced you to look at the fire. You attempted to look away but the bones were too strong.
It started with a feeling of spinning. Your head felt clouded as it turned in numerous circles at a speed you had never witnessed. Your body shook as the green fire seemed to move closer – you knew it was impossible, a trick of your mind, but you still attempted to recoil from it. Your skin felt of burning wax, you were positive that a drip hit the skin of your hands.
Was this how you were meant to die? With a forced stare into a cursed fire? Eui had always been unfortunate. It was just within her luck that she would be killed by the madness she would have seen. Though, how much luckier were you? You were a witch who gave in to a werewolf because your heart believed it was good. You were tormented as a child by things you could never control. Not even your mother liked you. No amount of luck would save you.
And yet. The warm light that burned too bright and melted your face turned cool. An icy blue that helped you breathe. You tried to look upward toward the moon’s light, but your body was unable to move. The bones of Mi-Sook’s hands continued to hold you despite you’re inability to witness them.
The light disappeared within a moment of its appearance. It left you in darkness. You could barely see your surroundings. It certainly was not your bedroom. There were no fires. No bodies. No chanting. It was silence around you. Refreshing silence that chilled your spine as you attempted to run. The hands on your head had gone, you couldn’t feel them, but still, you were unable to move. It was as though a rope had tethered you to the spot.
It took you a moment to properly see the large cliff in front of you. You were not on it, rather you were above it, looking down at the dark stormy sea and the waves that crashed onto the rocks beneath it. Three people stood at the top. Mi-Sook was the only face you saw, her long white wedding dress was coated in blood.
A woman was bound behind her, a wolf asleep beside her feet. They all watched toward the cliff’s edge, where a man was screaming as he stood in the air. You couldn’t hear any of the words. There was no noise at all. His eyes were warm as tears fell down his pale cheeks. Mi-Sook didn’t care. You could feel her anger. It was so strong, you felt drunk on it.
She did resemble you. The same hair, the same face, and the same eyes. Her hair was caught in the air, standing upwards in a messed fashion and the eyes identical to your own glowed with red fury. The man lifted over the edge, the dangerously sharp rocks were far below him. The drop would certainly cause his death. He clawed at his neck, as though he couldn’t breathe.
Still, you saw him try to speak. There was no voice in your ears but you could see how his lips struggled to form words. Mi-Sook also rose slightly into the sky, and her hand lifted into the air, clenched in a fist. Her laughter. You could hear it again. It was just as wicked as when she stole Eui’s soul. You wanted to claw your ears from your body to make the noise stop.
Her other arm lifted into the air and the wolf, no longer asleep, followed the man into the air. They stood beside one another, the poor creature howling and – you assumed, at least, – whimpering. No. No. No. You wanted to look away but your body still could not move. The rope that you were sure you felt around your stomach tightened, it made you grimace. You were going to witness the creation of the werewolf. A curse of revenge from a scorned woman. From the first ever witch.
Both the hearts were pulled from the wolf and the man, yet they continued to live. Their bodies screamed and howled in agony. Mi-Sook joined her hands together, and the two hearts followed in pattern. Forming one concoction. A monster.
They slumped into the air at the same time, moving together to transform like their hearts had. Two beings that were never meant to be one. It was not a werewolf, those were creatures blessed by the moon to form balance with their counterparts. It was a lycanthrope. A true beast that was doomed from the very beginning.
The transformation was painful. You felt yourself wince just from witnessing it. The one body grew larger in height, and the legs snapped into a crooked posture. The face elongated into a wolfish snout. Black fur burst through the clothing as it tore to shreds, sinking to the raging sea below. The creature screamed under the full moon in the sky, begging for death.
Her laughter was pounding in your mind, maniacal and untamed. The amalgamation landed on the grass of the cliff’s edge. It fell on all fours, snout high in the air as it sniffed. Mi-Sook walked through the air toward it, patting between the pointed ears with a wicked smile. The creature whimpered under her touch before its eyes shut and it slumped to the ground. Not dead, but put to sleep, awaiting orders from its creator. A weapon.
Mi-Sook turned to the woman bound in chains. She forced her chin upward and you saw the tear-stained cheeks of the beautiful woman. Her mouth was gagged by a ripped material, her clothing was almost gone leaving her nude. Numerous scars littered her body, blood accompanied it all. Jin-Ae. You recognised the misfortune. It was Mi-Sook who cursed her.
The moment the material fell from her lips, Jin-Ae was begging for mercy. More tears fell from her clouded eyes and she attempted to cover her body with her arms. Mi-Sook did nothing. She just stared with a sneer. “You are a disgrace to your kind. You took pleasure in destroying what meant most to me,” the mistress. Mi-Sook had written of how her fiance had betrayed her and how she wanted them both to pay. You could still remember the stolen memory of approaching a kissing couple with betrayal in your heart. It was all Mi-Sook’s. The lycanthrope was her fiance and Jin-Ae was the mistress. “Now you can watch everything you love die.”
Jin-Ae was lifted into the air much like how the man and wolf had. Words fell from the witch’s tongue. Latin, spoken with power that you wanted to cower from. It was strong and dark. Too dark. Vicious. The curse. Black runes slipped from her mouth and into the sky, circling Jin-Ae’s body as though to taunt her. Each word created a new rune to appear around her.
Once they were all spoken, each rune attached to her skin with a searing burn. Jin-Ae cried in pain as the black runes turned blue on her raw wounds. Burning her to immortality.
They melted into her skin and disappeared from your eyes, as though nothing had happened. Mi-Sook threw her hand to the side and Jin-Ae was forced over the cliff. Her screams fell along with her body. It echoed against the rocks of the cliff in tandem with the crashing of the waves. When had you been able to hear those? You closed your eyes tight as the ultimate splat on the rocks occurred below.
There it was again. The bright light. Cold yet nurturing as it coated your skin. You felt your body move without control, but your eyes could not open despite how you tried. The movements were almost motherly, as though someone was holding you to their chest as they took you away from the past and back to reality.
When your eyes opened, you were back in your bedroom. The smoke was gone. The fire was small and purple on Jin-Ae’s chest. Your sister still kneeled and chanted to the room, her eyes calm and quiet as though nothing happened. But, when you turned to Eui, you knew it was.
Her body was slumped on the ground. Empty sockets sat where her eyes would be, the skin surrounded it like cooling candle wax. Her hands were mostly bone, her outfit ripped and her hair charred. There were dimples in her skin from fingers clawing at her cheeks. You looked up to the roof – the scorch marks were there as well.
You fumbled for a blanket from your bed and covered her body. Nari did not need to see it. No one ever should. Her pain was obvious on her body, no lie could convince someone otherwise. Eui was dead. You could only hope that Mi-Sook had taken her soul before she glanced into the flames, or else she would be lost forever. A ghost.
The ornate box beside you glinted under the fire. You quickly grabbed it and opened it fully on your lap. The curse. You had heard Mi-Sook speak it, meaning you could save someone. You could save Jin-Ae. You spoke the curse again, quietly so that your sister would not hear and interrupt. The runes appeared on her skin, just as sickly black as when they first began from Mi-Sook’s tongue.
You summoned the runes into the box for holding, watching as they melted into the velvet felt within it. You wanted to cry as the words continued to fall, but there was no time. You couldn’t risk anyone else. You couldn’t prove that you were as weak as your family believed. When they all melted into the box, you closed and locked it. Jin-Ae took a large breath despite the sleep state she was induced into. She was free. The curse had been removed after centuries.
The fire dissipated as it was gone, and the chants from your sister died on her lips. Your room fell dark again as you waved your hand and extinguished the candles all around. “Eui?” Her voice was quiet as she called into the room. Her body must have felt the change, but she had still not known the truth of what happened entirely. Unfortunately, her call would never get the answer she desired. “Eui?”
Still, you could smell lavender on your nose. It was taunting. “Go outside. Just go and have everyone leave.”
“But -”
“Now!” you hadn’t intended to shout, but you couldn’t allow Nari to see Eui’s body, even when it was covered in your blanket. Your voice broke at the end, a crack that would have left you mortified had you not been so preoccupied. There was too much to do. You had to get Jin-Ae away to rest, clean up the ritual and take care of the corpse. You couldn’t mourn, you could not feel, you had to focus.
Eui did not deserve to be remembered in such a state. She deserved to be remembered as the smiling woman who spoke of love to everyone despite her own misfortune. You couldn’t let Nari see it. You couldn’t let Hyunjin see it. Oh, how were you supposed to tell Hyunjin she had died? In a way that was beyond even your magic to bring back.
Nari ran out of your bedroom, sniffling to herself as she closed the door behind her. You placed a hand on Jin-Ae's forehead. She was alive. She was breathing. But she still had another day of sleep before she could wake. You stood up onto your shaking legs, collecting the candles from across your room and placing them in the basket on your vanity.
You looked up. How would you get the scorch marks from your room? You didn’t deserve to get rid of them. How could you allow Eui to attend another ritual? You were smarter than that. You knew the danger and you risked her life. You lost that risk and let her die. It was all your fucking fault.
Jin-Ae was completely unharmed from the ritual. Her clothing was as perfect as always, her hair managed into its usual slick style. You picked her up and put her on your bed, resting her head on a pillow. You went to grab the blanket before your fingers hit the empty air. You had no more blankets, only the one that was rather occupied.
You still had Eui left. But, you didn’t know what to do. Where would you put her corpse? What would you say to the police who investigated? You felt useless. You felt immobile, your arms were heavy on your sides as you tried to lift them. And you felt empty. You had caused death. The death of someone who deserved nothing but happiness.
It went against everything you believed. You were a nurse in the Great War. You did not bring death, you aided the sick and prevented fatalities! How could you change so much over just a few years?
Your bedroom door was rushed open and there stood Minho. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was a mess, as though his fingers had been occupied through them more than anything else, but his eyes were on alert. Horrifically so. He found you with ease, you were sitting on your bed close to crying after all, but you were sure his eyes acknowledged the corpse half hidden under a blanket at your feet.
You looked up at him from your seated stance. “What?” you snapped at him, your voice hoarse from the tears that threatened to slide down your cheeks.
“Hyunjin,” No. You had lived this before. Your sister had done that same run and stare the night Hyunjin was shot. It was too familiar. It was too soon. Too many deaths, “he just started convulsing and screaming.”
If he wanted your attention, he certainly chose the correct words to do so. You stood and ran past him, mindlessly grabbing his hand to pull him along with you. You could not lose Hyunjin as well. It was the third time he would knock on the door of death, how could you ensure he would make it back once more? You hadn’t saved Eui. You had destroyed Hyunjin the first time you tried. You would not survive if you lost them both in one night.
Bile rose in your throat as you saw Hyunjin. His body rolled on the floor and his fingers dug into the skin of his cheeks. Both of his eyes were squeezed shut, his body shook under the weight of his cries — pure agony. You were choking on it. “Hyune!”
“What’s happening?” he managed to cry out the words through his sobs. Your eyes widened as new burns grew on his soft skin, the short nails on his fingers tore through the skin of his cheek. Your breathing was shallow and rapid. Back in the trenches. No time to breathe. Too much was happening at once. Bodies everywhere. Your hands were dark. Coated in blood.
You cradled his cheek to offer comfort. You could not do it to him again. You could not be selfish and destroy him once more. Saving him without would be near impossible. But you had to do it. Hyunjin could not leave you. Not again. Never again. “Did any of you drive a car here?”
“I did,” Changbin confessed, with the keys already hung on his fingers.
“Take him to the hospital,” it was a barked order that left your throat sore. Changbin seemed ready to follow, his hands already on Hyunjin’s shoulder to lift him. Minho was different, his eyes held a flint of defiance that made your gut bubble in fury, “Nari and Minho can stay with him and treat the wounds. He may make it if we do.”
Minho shook his head, and your jaw clicked with the anger you felt. “Nari can do it alone. I will stay right here with you.” The words he didn’t say went between you. He saw the dead body. He saw your eyes, raw with emotion that had not yet spilled. You couldn’t say much of it, if you did it would mean letting your sister know the truth without proper preparation.
You stood up from Hyunjin and turned to Minho, your heart shook as he whimpered without your touch. “People are dying and you want to argue?” Only a moment of staring occurred between you both, before you huffed and turned away from him. “Fine. Just get him to the hospital now. I don’t care whether you are here or not, Mr Lee.”
All of you rushed to get Hyunjin into the vehicle. His breathing was shallow, his eyelids almost sunk into the holes his eyes should occupy. As though nothing was there at all. You forced aids down his throat to offer more time to travel to the hospital. You could not lose him again. Never again. Nari had sat beside him and continued to tend to his burns and cries while Changbin drove them away.
A deadly growl echoed through the street. Your heart dropped. You could not deal with the beast. Not today. Minho seemed to feel similar, as he followed you inside and upstairs to your bedroom. No word was spoken between you as he helped you remove the final pieces of ash and chalk from your flooring. There was no debate, no argument, no simple whisper to one another.
Carrying Eui’s body was much easier. Even without proper discussion of how to do so, the dynamic was strong enough to work. You held her head and he collected her legs as you carried her downstairs to the apothecary door.
Which left the final problem still unanswered. There was nowhere to place her. The beast was too close. An idea fluttered in your mind. One that hurt your heart but was the best thing you could do in the little time offered.
You dragged her corpse outside and left her slumped on the fence that Jin-Ae had been found on. “I’m so sorry,” you whispered it to her corpse, your blanket drawn along her shoulder and body. You kept your face stoic as you cut into your palm on the fence. It would attract the monster.
Stood in the dark of the night, no sunglasses to shelter your eyes and no one outside with you for protection. The beast turned a corner and you stared at it, the monster stared right back. It was the first time you had seen it. The black eyes left your head delirious as it stalked closer to Eui’s body. Your fingers twitched to explore the matted fur along its pointed back. It was beautiful.
No. Not beautiful. Why did you think such a thing? No murderer could be appealing to your eye.
It walked closer, fur catching the moonlight. Fur. Two hind legs that it stood up on and two arms that curled down with sharpened dirty claws. A snout, long with a wet black nose. Black eyes that haunted the souls of so many women. Teeth like daggers, dripping with blood. It looked like a shifted werewolf, only wild. You knew better. Werewolves were tamed, they were loved, they were balanced. It was why they had soulmates – a gift from the goddess of the moon.
The beast was not. The beast was a lycanthrope. One that was hunting for the bride that would never come. Two souls that were never meant to join, desperate to find someone to tame it.
You were pulled back inside of your apothecary by a warm hand. Minho’s hand. He held your shoulders and you looked around your apothecary, the door locked behind you and cold on your back. Everything felt crooked. The walls were closer than before. Everything shook under your breath. Were you even breathing? You tried to focus on it. A failed attempt.
Your chest was tight and your vision blurred. There was a table. You stumbled from Minho’s stability and into the table. The support was not enough. Your nails dug into the wood, it splinted beneath your palm. Your body was tilted, your mind just as crooked, stuck in the warped reality. You wanted it to stop. You couldn’t control it.
Fuck, how do you stop it? You couldn’t breathe. You were choking. Your eyes were heavy with tears and the table creaked in your hold. Was Minho even in the room? You could not see him. Everything was blurry. You saw some lights. That was all.
Until you screamed. One that had been buried within your body for months, perhaps even years. It shook in your ears and rattled the storage of your apothecary. Shelving collapsed to the floor, vials of liquids and herbs broke onto the ground. Years worth of collection for the ingredients destroyed and shattered among glass. Hooks that held dried flowers stood in the air, twirling in a whirlwind storm. Pieces of paper, receipts and notes for your orders caught in the air, tangling in the internal tornado.
Chaos.
Pure chaos.
The table broke and you fell to the ground. Glass dug into your knees and what felt like a spider's eye squished against your skin. More vials of potions and palms that you had made broke with the furious storm. All your stock was destroyed as you crumbled in on yourself.
Your throat was hoarse and pained as your scream stopped. Everything came to an end. The twirling wind dissipated and left your papers and ingredients thrown around at random. The shattering of glass and spilling of potions finished. But, everything was destroyed. Your entire apothecary was ruined. Years of work, destroyed in a few measly minutes.
“Are you okay?’
The first words you had said to each other since Hyunjin left. Such a stupid fucking question, did he honestly believe you were okay? That you were doing fantastic? For the smart man you knew he was, he could be absolutely stupid. And he had gotten away with such idiocy for too fucking long.
You stood up and glared at him, seething under your fury. It fell from your skin in waves that you were sure Minho could feel more than you. Pieces of your hair lifted into the air and something within your stomach sparked alight. The heart burned in such a delicious way, you felt it rage inside. “This is all your fault Lee Minho!” His eyes widened and he stepped backward, close to your home yet still inside the ruined apothecary with you. You waved your hand and you felt yourself lift into the air, barely an inch off the rubble and floor. “You have always wanted to see me at my end, was it worth it? Because of you, I have lost a friend tonight. Because of you, I may even lose another!”
Everything you had worked for was ruined. People were dead and the blood was on your hands. Your sister was on the verge of leaving your home for a disgusting policeman. Everyone you trusted had lied to you. But it all started when he entered your life.
You could still feel the ice of when he left that night at the Yang library. The fire within you burned brighter as you floated closer to him. “If you hadn’t insisted on flirting! If you hadn’t begged to touch me! If I hadn’t gone to your stupid office that night, then none of this would have happened!” You had never felt so much anger in your entire life. Even as a child, you never got so angry regarding the treatment you received. Heat glowed on your skin and nipped at your heart. You felt bright. “Everything was normal before you! You took my life and destroyed it! What for? Fun? Was it fun Minho? Are you happy to see me like this?”
When had you gotten so close to him? It wasn’t like the other times. It wasn’t tense because of the desire and pleasure that licked at your skin. It was tense from anger. From fire. His eyes were focused on you but he kept looking over your shoulder. How dare he. He couldn’t even focus on you long enough to listen to you scream? You wanted to shove him. You wanted to push him through a wall so he could know of the pain you felt.
“I have done so much for your stupid gang and what have I received in return? Nothing! I got a fucking werewolf tearing my sister and I apart. I got a disgusting policeman constantly trying to grope me. I got left naked in a mansion in the middle of fucking nowhere!” You were crying. You didn’t realise it until the salty tears slipped down your neck. Your voice shattered under the sobs. The fire inside you burned brighter as you pushed your finger into his chest. “Get out of my house. Get out of my life. Leave me alone. Our deal is over!”
You were seeing red. You weren’t sure where he had gone. When did he leave? He was right in front of you a moment beforehand. You knew he was gone. You couldn’t feel his warmth. The fire inside was too bright. Your skin felt slick with sweat.
Heat.
You turned around slowly and gasped, collapsing to the floor once again. A fire. Large and overpowering burnt through your store. From the windows that were only fixed the previous week to where you stood. Yet, the flames left you unharmed. They licked at your skin but you were fine. How had it started? There was no ignition causes inside the apothecary. It had been fine just moments before!
You sniffed and curled your legs to your chest. You were so small. So weak. You wanted your old life back, you wanted things to be normal again. Tears fell from your eyes and you sobbed into your knees, the fire around you slowly evaporated into the air. Ash coated the floor with the rest of the rubble. Scorch marks stained the wooden floors like they had your bedroom roof.
You were cold. You wanted a hug. What were you supposed to do? You weren’t entirely sure how to think anymore. There was so much to do. So much to fix. You wanted your control back. It had been stolen from you. Who stole it? Was it even Minho? You weren’t sure, perhaps you had taken everything out on him.
How had the fire started? Was it you? Your magic? And the room, how did it collapse on itself? It was impossible. No witch could create such chaos. Especially without muttering a single charm or spell. And yet, you had done the impossible. But, you hated every second of it. You just wanted normal.
A hand tapped your shoulder and a warm body sat beside you on the ground. Minho. You didn’t look up at him as you cried into yourself. His warm coat landed on your shoulders, warming your body as he pulled you closer. His arm, though tense, wrapped around your torso and tilted your body closer.
No words were spoken again. Perhaps that was a good thing.
⎯⎯ notes ‣‣‣ no murdering of dahlia is allowed 😠 this has been planned since the very first chapter… but it was still painful to write
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WHAT THE FUCK DAHLIA 😦😭 I'm so sad that Hyunjin had to lose something that made him happy again😟 Can't believe sweet Eui was taken like that! But I love the Minho trope, how he showed up anyway even though he probably wanted to run and hide. He put everything aside for her safety. But what the fuck😭 the way you write this is incredible, I felt the disgusting sludge of that scene! I really hope he stays by Red's side and she kind of apologises. Don't want them to part ways😭💙
