[striveto-suprise]

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

weight 220.0

this summer all i did was drink, smoke weed, and chain smoke cigarettes

within three weeks i haven't touched weed, i quit cigarettes (for the most part, it's hard when you're offered cigarettes when drunk, but at least i don't have any withdrawal symptoms or dependancy on them) and drink only fridays and sometimes saturdays. which is strange

this is all very strange

this is all thanks to..me making the novice rowing team at my university! i'm pretty good at it and i realized i actually need my lungs for it! i eat somewhat healthier(basically i still eat all the shitty unhealthy cafe food but im not eating a bag of chips for breakfast and 3 chocolate bars and mcdonalds and whatever the hell i used to find for munchies everyday)

so overall not a huge difference maybe after all? but it feels strange 

im home for a couple days because my grandpa passed away and im anxious and i eat a lot at home and basically its weird being home and my friends are all the same and im different but i still act the same way around my friends and family?

idk im gonna stop rambling and if anyone has actually read this i apologize sincerely

melanie out

[aletterforkatia-deactivated2016]

i have been planning on getting my shit together for like 5 years now 

[striveto-suprise]

Homemade whole wheat cinnamon pancakes with strawberries, blueberries, bananas, peanut butter, drizzled with a light syrup. Eat these babes at least twice a week with my mornin' coffee Delishhhh

[the-everyday-challenge]

Day 593

VIDEO UPDATE: Today I recorded Daft Punk’s track ‘Something About Us’.

[striveto-suprise]

[sweatywisdom]

[striveto-suprise]

Weigh in - March 03, 2014

Weight- 230.2

10 lbs lost

Idk what happened with 2 weeks ago weigh in it said it was may something? like that hasnt even happened yet so i changed it to the last day i remember logging on but it doesnt even make sense. Like i weighed my self last week and i didnt lose anything so i was too ashamed to post. Whatever.

ANYWAYS about the actual weight loss I dont know how i pulled that out of my ass i expected to lose 2-3 lbs or something like that. I ran 2 times last week and thats it, i even skipped spin clss because i suck. 

This week i have I think 2 runs and a hike on thurs!!! So excited for the hike. Then im gonna maybe try to fit a spin class in there but idk cause i am going to Trent University open house on saturday to check out residences because that is most likely where i am going to be a year from now!!!

So yeah im gonna try and put more effort into it this week and try to get down to 225 which i dont actually think will be that difficult!! I want to be out of the 220s by the end of march break so im kind of back where i originally started on this blog.

Wow such a long post i salute you if any living person actually read this.

PS I ACTUALLY HIT MY FIRST GOAL OF 230s MARK A WEEK EARLY WOOO

[striveto-suprise]

Weigh in - Wednesday, Feb 17th, 2014

Weight- 240.2

0 lbs lost

This is disgusting. Planning on drinking a lot of water this week.

I'm going for a run in a little less then 2 hours in outdoor ed so that's a good start. I'm gonna come home, take a shower, clean my room, get a start on my health and history homework, then head back to school for philosophy. In that time span i want to eat at least twice. 

by march break i want to be 230lbs. Do-able.

[striveto-suprise]

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Wow coming back to this blog i look at how motivated i used to be!

I am in an outdoor ed class and we have started to "train" for new Hampshire where were going to climb mount washington? What??? Im by far the most overweight person in my class and so incredibly out of shape and its humiliating. I want to get back to be that motivated person i was. This is ridiculous. I am off to university next year and i dont want to go self conscious as shit??? i want to be confident in my own skin?????? fuck

So starting tomorrow, im going to weigh myself (dear lord) and try to get myself into the swing of things. I have outdoor ed which means i should be running minimum 2x per week. And i have decided to start going back to the gym minimum 2x per week at least until march break. How does that sound for a start??????????? ugh so done with how im living my life right now.

[striveto-suprise]

i think i have type 2 diabetes 

[shaken-bones]

I waited patiently at the edge of feeling and my friends were so tired of hearing about the fire lit by your imaginary fingers. I must be exhausting to love because when days fade to months I wake up wishing I didn’t know you. Now my hips are bruised. Now my lips are blue from holding my breath for so long.

hannah beth (allmymetaphors)

[cblakeee]

It is not my fault that I am often caught swallowing sickening memories. I forget that some things shouldn’t bother me anymore.

Hannah Beth aka allmymetaphors (via cblakeee)

[allmymetaphors]

how can i transcend time and skip to the part of my life where i’m a happy functional human being (asking for a friend)

[allmymetaphors]

“I’m sorry that sometimes I’m so lame. I’m sorry that sometimes i’m a deadbeat friend, the worry makes me scurry into my own head.” 

[striveto-suprise]

Weigh in - Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

Weight- 211.8

-3.2lbs

like im actually fluctuating between 115 and 110lbs im not really losing or gaining im just being alive and whatnot

i still have so much to do over the next week holy shit i have an english essay due next week and a sociology seminar which i will not be ready for even if i prepared endlessly for fuck

so yeah my life atm boring and stressful as hell ttyl

[striveto-suprise]

Don't my nails look fab Have wanted this colour 5ever

[parasailin-deactivated20160307]

i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again.

[striveto-suprise]

so freaking relevant