Jay.

don't drown in your own blood

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

I'm about to do something

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

fucker

[tankhall]

2027 ; i will pay you to keep your hand over my mouth

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

bro you better release make room in hell...

[tankhall]

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

wanna know how to stem your gushing hatred for something?

become that.

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

Iscariot

please give me my body

please give me my body

that's all I ask

I am worthy at least of that

to be condemned as a beautiful, unforgivable angel

please let me have a body

please give me the body I deserve

no one can tell me I don't deserve it, it's the only thing I feel I deserve

I torment myself every time it gets dark, and when it gets light it's hard to swallow it back into my stomach

please give me my body

please give me my body

give me the body I should have

give me back the body that was always mine and was taken from me, I'm sure of it

that's why it's something I miss so much without having, my memory was erased

I drowned but I didn't open my mouth underwater

but it entered through my nostrils, it's inevitable

cursed be Lethe

but also blessed

cursed be the River Lethe

cursed be the River Lethe

one of its paths makes me flow into Cocytus

cursed be the River Lethe

cursed be the River Lethe

but it also has reasons to be blessed

but cursed be it, cursed be

it took me to the frozen waters

where they are chewed, they're  being chewed, eternally torn apart

Lucifer beats his wings with disdain

while my skin freezes with the breeze

each extremity delicately alluded by the ice

thinking of the life I had

feel it all again and again and again

after all that's how things work around here

but don't see me as just another one of those who only feels pain, who only regrets. I am aware

I know what's in the air around me

I can see it through these eyes

I know how to suffer and see my suffering from afar, and not just suffer, but be aware of the suffering

It's almost like disdain

being so open is a blessing, but also cold, but I don't mind freezing a little more

I would never surrender to unconscious suffering, it's so stupid

I wouldn't just feel 30 icy silver coins burning my skin

I would have knowledge beyond that, beyond skin and flesh, beyond lamenting to my master

don't whine so vehemently

don't whine so vehemently

don't whine so vehemently

don't whine so vehemently.

-

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

Iscariot

please give me my body

please give me my body

that's all I ask

I am worthy at least of that

to be condemned as a beautiful, unforgivable angel

please let me have a body

please give me the body I deserve

no one can tell me I don't deserve it, it's the only thing I feel I deserve

I torment myself every time it gets dark, and when it gets light it's hard to swallow it back into my stomach

please give me my body

please give me my body

give me the body I should have

give me back the body that was always mine and was taken from me, I'm sure of it

that's why it's something I miss so much without having, my memory was erased

I drowned but I didn't open my mouth underwater

but it entered through my nostrils, it's inevitable

cursed be Lethe

but also blessed

cursed be the River Lethe

cursed be the River Lethe

one of its paths makes me flow into Cocytus

cursed be the River Lethe

cursed be the River Lethe

but it also has reasons to be blessed

but cursed be it, cursed be

it took me to the frozen waters

where they are chewed, they're  being chewed, eternally torn apart

Lucifer beats his wings with disdain

while my skin freezes with the breeze

each extremity delicately alluded by the ice

thinking of the life I had

feel it all again and again and again

after all that's how things work around here

but don't see me as just another one of those who only feels pain, who only regrets. I am aware

I know what's in the air around me

I can see it through these eyes

I know how to suffer and see my suffering from afar, and not just suffer, but be aware of the suffering

It's almost like disdain

being so open is a blessing, but also cold, but I don't mind freezing a little more

I would never surrender to unconscious suffering, it's so stupid

I wouldn't just feel 30 icy silver coins burning my skin

I would have knowledge beyond that, beyond skin and flesh, beyond lamenting to my master

don't whine so vehemently

don't whine so vehemently

don't whine so vehemently

don't whine so vehemently.

-

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

If I were a song right now, I would be this one fr

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

come, stretch me

run blades over my skin

as if you weren't afraid of me fighting back

come, I deserve

I deserve whatever you do to me

it's up to you

come, strike me

make sharp words send shivers all over my body

come, and I'll be smiling

I'll pretend you're here for the reason I wanted

۝ 

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

I love writing songs about movies...

this is a silly song btw </3

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

The Valley

(a poem by me)

I don't want to be stuck right here

but it's not like I'll forget either

I just feel things come and go in the valley

you touch everything around you

but I don't know why you avoid my skin

you talk to all the flying souls but me, this is not a cool thing

I can be even more

who you want close to you

I can be who you talk about everything you like

I want to be your mirror

I'm hating everything you like now

it's taking you away

making you stay that way more

even though you deny it

I'm in love with

a version of you that

drowned in this race

you say that I speak as if you were

now a totally different person

but you are, you are.

๑

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

Hard Ground

(a poem by me)

dreams can be needles

they can be saws

and that's okay

but I'm the one who's going to feel my skin tear

wouldn't it have been better if nothing had happened?

I don't know how I would be now

maybe it was all like so many sweets

you love to eat them but in the dawn you'll cry while vomit it all out

I hope you feel your mind burn a little

I hope you want my skin a little

I hope you grow into a different side

you already know almost everything, almost

you don't know what you need and maybe I don't either

I didn't want to think about anything but I also wanted to think about everything

I still suffocate in the dark, I still keep my face static

but I can't pretend for long, I can't stop remembering everything like a dream

that was transitioning into reality, but you pushed me back

you pushed my body back into my bed and I just open my eyes up scared

but I'll never be awake again

I'll never be awake again

you want to see us stop shining

you want to shine alone

you can't do it, fuck, please don't do this

you said all those words to me

you promised, you fucking promised

you said for sure, you cried about it

you said all that to me

and now you said things that killed all of that

maybe no one can be saved in this world,

but I believed and it hurted to be blindly happy

it hurt like hell, I hurt myself again trying to be happy

I hurt myself for something that wasn't my fault

maybe i should try to empty my mind and sink into the ground.

✯

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

btw this is the SoundCloud link to a poem of mine that I read and recorded, if you want you can skip to around 1:00, that when I start talking :-P (in a while I will post this poem here).

it's called "hard ground".

hard ground

spoken poetry I think... jump to 1:00 if you want

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

Lachesism

(a poem by me)

you like to poke

you like to tear little by little

you like people not to notice until everything is ruined

you like to say that bitterness is a medicine but in fact it is a poison

it would have been better not to have provoked and now you have a body to hide

does destruction give you a new beginning?

or do you just enjoy having an explosion to give you an excuse to do unnecessary things?

you skin a snake

you tear a butterfly's cocoon

you break a bird's eggshell

you interfere

you think it's good

you're afraid to stand your ground

you're afraid to be quiet

you're afraid of time

you're afraid of me coming closer

you think it's right to be this way, you want to find a good side in bleeding

but there is no

you are a sadist, fuck

you still haunt me and I still feel you

but you don't have the courage to come closer

you don't have the courage to come back

maybe one day your mind will change

you haven't lived half of your life yet

nor have I lived mine

but I feel like I have nothing left to do

and you're preparing yourself in your cocoon

while I ruin everything

I would die to start over in heaven.

✧

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

honestly looking at you you are a disappointment

I can't believe I let you make me feel special

to later discover that you were not like me

I really thought you were surreal

but how silly, all lovers end up thinking that.

✿

[stuck-in-the-vortex]

when a cycle ends

the days become heavy

you can't do anything

and you feel like a burden

I wish you hadn't left where you were

now you've become selfish and detached

you think this is living well

but you're an idiot.

✷