Last Words Jeremy Klein
February 7, 2001
Last movie you saw:
Asian Sluts 5.
Last CD you bought:
Who still buys CDs? If I were to buy one, I’d buy the Touch-Tone Terrorist CD, they’re the best crank-callers.
Last time you passed out:
I don’t pass out. Passing out is for pussies.
Last book you read:
I don’t read books because I think books are horrible and stupid.
Last time you thought you were going to die:
One month ago on my way to Japan via Delta Airlines. I hate flying.
Last magazines you subscribed to:
*quiet*
Last time you were nervous:
When I was on the pier, right before being lit on fire.
Last video game you played:
Quake 3 online, and I f—ked shit up. My name online is F—K YOU in all caps. John Hapton got his.
Last time you signed an autograph:
One week ago. I was at a porn shop and some guy wanted an autograph for his kid. I signed a copy of Juggs for him.
Last time you skated a handrail:
I got nutted.
Last time you felt totally confused:
When I checked out a PC. PCs suck; I only use Macs.
Last foreign country you visited:
Japan is the only foreign country I ever visit.
Last time you gambled:
I lost.
Last trick you filmed:
Drop-in to slam, slam again. I slam a lot.
Last song you listened to:
“Ice, Ice, Baby” by Vanilla Ice.
Last time you had a confrontation with the cops:
Two months ago when I drove my on-fire van over a tree.
Last time you woke up not knowing where you were:
On tour I woke up to firecrackers on my lap in the van—luckily I was wearing my goggles.
Last fight you got in:
I got in a fight with a security guard—he had a ponytail and Oakley Blades. Oakley Blades are so gay.
Last time you were inspired:
When I first heard the Touch-Tone Terrorists’ crank calls it made me want to crank-call again.
Last article of clothing you bought:
Fireproof underwear for 80 dollars. It’s total bullshit. It doesn’t work.
Last time you felt stupid:
Spending 80 dollars “fireproof” underwear.
Last freestyle contest you won:
F—k freestyle.
Last time you apologized:
To my friend for torturing his cat buy putting it in the shower, closing the door, and turning on the water. Cats hate water.
Last time you rode in an ambulance:
Six months ago while filming Destroying America with my nurse bitches.
Last time you got ripped off:
Every time I get my paycheck.
Last time you were injured:
I almost had my nuts blown off by a pack of firecrackers while I was driving the van.
Last joke you heard:
That John Hampton (Birdhouse production manager) thinks he’s good at Quake 3.
Last time you focused a board:
Every time I skate.
Last skate video you watched:
World Industries’ Rubbish Heap.
Last time you took prescription drugs:
Never.
Last time you were arrested:
Six months ago when I drove my van into a port-a-potty.
Last meal you ate:
McDonald’s McRib sandwich with double meat.
Last trick you learned:
Well, I just learned how to drive over six trees in a row instead of just three.
Last time you failed:
When I tried to drive over seven trees in a row.
Last good tip someone gave you:
Play with matches.
Last time you felt discouraged about the skateboard industry:
Every day.
Last time you vomited:
If I ever eat tomatoes. F—k vegetables, they suck. I like eating candy and meat.
Last time you went to church:
When I was seven years old, and it f—kin’ sucked. I knew from that moment on that I hated church and religion.
Last time you felt proud:
Every time I throw trash out of my car window on the freeway. I love to litter.
Last time you ran over something with a van:
Every time I drive my van.
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