Stuff My Hubby Says

[stuffmyhubbysays]

All Indians aren't named Rohit!

The hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

As a general rule, never use basil in a drink that has chunks in it, especially of you just ate a bunch of pizza.

The hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

You should know by now that I like my starches with sauce on them.

The hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

I should have worn my black socks. Not because they match better but because they feel so much sexier.

The hubby

[melandjer]

They’re just little tiny soy sauce sponges made of starch. Millions of tiny delicious little sponges.

The hubby describing rice

[stuffmyhubbysays]

All I know is that every time I mess with a fish it dies. We used to have a fish tank at home that we'd have to refill with fish every time we cleaned it.

The hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

That's not evidence of the singularity. That's evidence of the downfall of society.

The hubby on auto-generated rage face comics

[stuffmyhubbysays]

Getting a second opinion

Hubby: What's the difference between ibuprofen and acetaminophen?

Me: One's Motrin and the other is Tylenol

Hubby: But what's the difference?

Me: Do you want to call and ask your sister? (she's a doctor)

Hubby: Yes!

(calls his sis)

Hubby: Sissy, what's the difference between ibuprofen and acetaminophen?

Dr. Sister: One's Motrin and the other is Tylenol.

[stuffmyhubbysays]

He's afraid to tell her a 'that's what she said' joke because then he'd have to explain who 'she' is.

the hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

I like my scraggly beard. And these trendy glasses. When I drink tea it makes me look like a hobo hipster.

The hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

On the tip of your tongue

Hubby: Chaplain! That's the word I was trying to think of.

Me: (puzzled) When?

Hubby: Two months ago.

[stuffmyhubbysays]

Ron got old and fat and sat around watching football all day expecting Hermione to magic him up sandwiches.

The hubby on what happened after the Harry Potter story ends

[stuffmyhubbysays]

I had this beer once. It gave me nightmares. I loved it.

The hubby's brother

[stuffmyhubbysays]

Coming Avenue... Is that a church street?

The hubby

[stuffmyhubbysays]

Sharting

Podcast:  If we cannot see the brokenness within the unbroken then when it does breaks the heart breaks with it.  We see a cup, but really it's a piece of glass that's cupping. Hubby:  So if you have a plate, it's not really a plate. It's just clay that is being a plate while it's in this form. It's plating. And then when it breaks into shards it's something else. It's... what would you call that?

Me: Sharting?

Hubby:  See, you're getting it!

[stuffmyhubbysays]

Layers of Style

Hubby: ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

Me: Ok, I hear parts of the super mario theme in your noises. What are you doing?

Hubby:  Singing the super mario theme, of course.

Me: I think you're missing a few notes.

Hubby:  No, you're just not hearing them because of my interpretive style

Me: Um, style has nothing to do with hitting the right tone or not.

Hubby:  No, that's just my layers of style.

Me: Layers of style, eh?

Hubby: Yeah, it's like an onion.

Me: Or maybe it's like a pie where there's an even deeper layer that's just like the top layer?

Hubby: No, it's more like lasagna because there's an even deeper layer that's like the second layer.

Me: But the bottom layer is always like the top layer:

Hubby: Not this lasagna. In fact, this lasagna is just filling.

Me: That's not lasagna; that's a bowl of sauce.

Hubby: Exactly.

[stuffmyhubbysays]

Strange things I love about him #1

Last night he tried to sing the Doctor Who theme in the style of Louis Armstrong. It was ridiculously awesome.