Do What You Got to Do.
ꕥ he's been tampering with your grades to keep you second to him, and instead of withering under pressure, you rise to the challenge by.. asking him to tutor you? and now, satoshi is scheming to have you below him naturally with these tutor sessions, only to find out that the very student he's been praying for the downfall of, is really just a sweetheart...
wc: 4.6k
extra: SPOILER: not a lot of romance i feel like, this feels like something that would have multiple parts but i just... don't like this the more i write it. + i hope i did it some justice at least? i genuinely did like it in the beginning but now im just..飽きて来た, not happy w/ it yk? are they doomed? prolly. if you squint, you can see that nardjo actually admires reader and only hates them bc they're better
inspired by this post by @sturpella (and @vzyy0x in comments), i saw her idea was interested at the idea of writing the most cynical side of gojo or wtv and took a shot at it!! i find it a bit funny how i wrote the frat one to be nervous loverboy and nerdjo to be like.. this....
college au | gn!nerd! reader x nerd! gojo
Master Binder
the situation you were in is the kind where only certain types of people find themselves. the type of person we're talking about is the kind where the person doesn't mind asking for help from someone 'above' them. and the situation?
being stuck at second in all your lectures with him despite your very efficient attempts at getting top in said courses.
you know yourself well enough to understand that this was the better option, better than continuing by yourself, and pushing yourself further, it just didn't seem to be the solution this time. you were already a diligent student who worked both harder and smarter.
'this was for the better.', you rationalized in your head, it made perfect sense to you, but it still didn't stop a little bud of warmth to be planted in your stomach, but it's natural, it's normal.
so you just did a mini breathing exercise, maybe drank a sip of iced water, drummed your fingers against your knee to calm your nerves, then finally tapped the 'send' button. then you threw your phone onto your bed unceremoniously and swiveled your chair to face your desk, ready to resume the essay you were writing for your next class.
and then somewhere across campus, in a room with wayyy too much computer equipment for a single college student, was a boy with hair that was the color of the moon. the glasses that framed his face perfectly were slowly sliding down his nose, and as he pushed them back up, he hears a noise from his phone, interrupting his focus on the screen.
with a click of his tongue, he swipes it up and checks. his face falls a bit.
[ (ur._.usernamae) has sent you a message ! ]
what?
why were you messaging him?
did you find out?
"shit.", it hisses out of his lips like hot steam from a leak from a boiler.
satoshi gojo sits in his gamer chair, he's usually good at controlling his expression, but right now, that usual nonchalance is nowhere to be seen.
at first, he thinks he's seeing things. why would you be messaging him? you never did before, why now? did he ever have your instagram?
without checking the message you sent him, he flips open your instagram profile. less followers, not a lot of following, highlights from each year, only one post you made, the subject being about how you were valedictorian in your senior year. he hasn't followed you, yet.
the moments feel short and fast and so he has no idea how long he's been staring at your profile, subconsciously he feels the same fear when a trouble making kid realizes the school has called their mom.
but staring at the daunting "1 new message・1min" next to your icon doesn't help his nerves ease anymore. satoshi is very possessive and well versed in what he does, and when something threatens the balance of his progress or goals, he becomes the very epitome of erratic.
eventually, the ivory haired man puts off reading your direct message, pulling out his special window tabs, locked behind a password that not even his brother can guess. and despite the adrenaline threatening to course through him, the tapping of his keyboard is still composed as ever.
one of his three screen monitors shows one of his many previously stated progress.
your grades.
he checks over each familiar line, the strings of code he's embedded in secret, searching for any kind of anomaly that could be proof that you somehow breached his network or any kind of change, anything.
but there wasn't a single thing out of place, nothing was changed from the last time he had tampered with them. but he still can't even let out a relieved sigh, because again:
why are you messaging him out of all people?
he puts off reading your message for an hour. going out with his brother to grab lunch (sibling bonding, or something), but the slightly shorter twin can hardly focus on the food, much less his extroverted brother. and even while satoru was yakking his ear off about his stoic project partner, the only thing that his mind kept flying back to was your message.
when he gets back to his room, he throws his stuff to the side and flops onto his bed, and after staring into the abyss, he just accepts that whatever happens, happens. no meaning in fretting over a message you haven't seen, right?
he fishes for his phone from his pocket and holds it up to his face, going back to his message list, with you still at the very top.
"2 messages・1hr"
he braces for a long paragraph about how he's a barnacle on a coral of moldy shit in the ocean. or something about how he's destroying his life and that you can't understand why he would ever do this and that you're some innocent bystander, maybe something about how you thought he was better than this and that he is.
but against whatever dumb situation he was stirring up in his head, and thinking of ways on how to blackmail you, silence you, or get you expelled- he was wrong.
completely wrong. it's almost comedic how wrong he was. the message that was actually sent from you is as so:
"hi satoshi, i know it's reallyy sudden and you're probably really busy, but y'know, as the top guy in our classes, i was hoping you could help me out a bit for the next exam with professor yaga. i actually don't really understand the unit we covered the other day and would really appreciate it if you spared like an hour or two for me sometime. we can go by your schedule, lmk if there's anything you want me to pay you back by!! sorry for the out of blue message, feel free to decline
wow, the exclamation point really is just the cherry on top to the whole thing. but even then, satoshi can barely focus on that.
you want him to tutor you?? i mean, it does makes sense. he does get top marks no matter the subject, he's a void of knowledge, ever expanding to engulf whatever is next to be on his assignments.
but if you couldn't tell before, that even with all that history of perfect gpas, streaks of full marks that ranged for years, and the countless beaming recommendations from his teachers; you still had beaten him. countless times in fact.
and if he were anybody else in the room, he would've just worked harder. but see, despite the two of you being the very pinnacles of star students, this was what made you different. had he been you, he would've worked even more smarter and harder, but since he's not, he skips the latter. he just works around it.
whatever it means, he'll do whatever it takes.
and what that means this time, is to edit your grades to make you second only to him.
…woah, overkill much? yeah, it's twisted. but the desperate chains of need to be the utter best at everything he lays a finger on, he feels that pull that rivals gravity from his heart, and it is not one to ignore.
but the acts of strange cruelty he finds himself committing isn't something he frets over. he couldn't care less honestly even if he tried. he's already probably committed one too many crimes, but he's in too deep to pull out at this point.
and he's not one to stop half way, ever.
and he's certain that the only way he'd get caught is it he had made the mistake of telling anyone else. and in which case, he hasn't. not to a single soul.
regardless, he did anticipate this happening, in his long webs of scenarios, each tying in and creating new paths that could either decimate everything he's worked for, or change absolutely nothing. this scenario, in his head would turn out like the latter.
he could turn you down, say that he's too busy, you already made it very clear you'd understand. and he knows you're not the type to keep pushing when rejection was the initial reaction.
it's easy. it's easy to push you away and keep doing as he does, maybe then your grades will just go down on their own and he won't have to edit them anymore.
but satoshi hates easy things. he hates when people feel entitled because they did an easy thing, they didn't work hard for it, it's easy and that's why they accomplished it. and when it's easy, he can't get that satisfaction of winning it.
plus, yes, he's busy, but not that busy. he's free enough to spare you, quote, "an hour or two by his schedule". whether he's being serious about these tutor sessions or not, it doesn't matter, he'll still have the upper hand. the center spot under the spotlight where he always stands in (of course up until you came along.).
that's where the idea pops in his head. of course, he should take you up on your offer. an unsettling presses on his lips, morphing his expression into one that would make anyone sense that something was wrong. his eyes of the innocent hue of blue glimmer with poison.
he doesn't have to be the bad guy. at least, not in the hacker way.
if he just pushes you in the wrong directions, feeds you misinformation, pat your shoulder and send you to the exam, it should be enough to permanently push you below him for the entire semester. it could very well create an outlier on your grade, and a bonus could be that you're mentally discouraged which again, makes a dent on your perfect bumper.
of course, he's going to have to be very precise about it, but it's already clear you trust him enough to think that he really knows his stuff, which, he does, but you're still smart on your own, dealing with you will be a a challenge.
but when has that ever stopped him?
it's too good because then, when the dust settles and your rank beneath him for real this time, it wasn't because he had to interfere (not directly), but simply because you weren't smart enough. then he wouldn't have to get his hands dirty at all.
the sadistic bent in his lips grows, he blinks, reading over your message again. his fingers types out the message, each letter added to the vile rush coursing through his head.
sure, we can discuss payment layer, for now, are you free sunday at 1? lets meet at the entrance"
yessir i am
you shoot a text back almost immediately. he puts a reaction emoji and stuffs his phone into his pocket, stretching his arms, that day, his friends notice that strange jump in his step when he reached them.
maybe he had a really good day, and they're right. except, it's only going to be uphill for him from here and that's why he's awfully glee today.
the seeds have been planted, and he can't wait to see what'll happen. he thinks that but in his head, he already has some plans mapped out, and behind his glass cerulean eyes, he sees an ending. and it looks great.
it's saturday night and it's looking great for you. your eyes settle on your score for the essay you were writing before, you let out a sigh, looking at your calendar of assignments, your soft gaze rests upon the little note you made for sunday; the day you meet satoshi for your first session with him.
it'll be a bit embarrassing, but you shouldn't think about it that way, you're lucky he even replied, you know how lazy people get. so you'll just have to suck in a bit pride because you're doing this to improve yourself, those who can't sacrifice a bit for their goals won't have the ability to take the whole victory lot- that's just how it is.
it's strange how wide the range of people is, how come the two of you are so exceptionally smart at the same subjects but have such a contrast in approach? it's truly a mystery, but skill can't be denied.
now it's the next day and so you stand at the entrance of the library, sitting on a bench by the small steps, you made sure to triple check the location, you were at the right place. and yet, he isn't here, he hasn't even seen your last text.
it's been thirty minutes. you were growing worried.
so instead of waiting and wasting time, you decide to look at your notes, tips of your highlighters following the path your eyes made, highlighting uncertainties and questions you could ask. you wanted to make the most out of the time you had him.
making small notes on the sides, you were entranced with where to ask and what to do, trying to answer questions that satoshi is supposed to help you answer.
the white haired male appears at 1:42pm. he stands right in front of your sitting figure, not an crinkle of distress or regret displayed on his face, he masks his excitement for being late well in front of you.
"i'm so sorry, the lab i was doing, my partner messed it up and I had to stay longer to fix it, oh and i have a function at two thirty, is that still okay?"
he expects a crack in your patience, a disguised grimace, a saccharine tone of "it's okay!"s, maybe a full on glare- whatever it was, he was looking forward to being subject to it. waiting for your disdain so you'd be put off, your mood spoiled and studies slanted.
but instead, all he's met with is a sympathetic look and the sounds of you standing up to meet his eyes.
"oh, the one from professor noerde? yeah, my partner and i were lucky enough to read the instructions carefully that day, but no worries, life happens. i already have my questions for you ready anyway so we can start immediately." you chatted eagerly, already heading to the doors of the library, you even flash him a smile.
the clenched hands in his pockets loosen for a fraction at your words. but then he snapped out of it.
'shit. they must think i'm stupid now'. the voice in his head sneers, but outside? his expression only smoothly transitions into a grateful look, not an ounce of repulsion could be detected when he speaks, "yeah, thanks for understanding."
that opening act to his calculated play throws him off his guard off so bad he forgot to add the jink of twisting one of his tips (it was to make you misremember the formula), and ended up sharing it genuinely, your face lit up as the pieces in your head clicked together at the revelation.
and for the next forty eight or so minutes that satoshi was available for you, the two of you had made immense progress. the questions you had so wisely decided to make beforehand were able to get cohesive and straightforward answers from satoshi, some of which you sighed when you realized you were overthinking it.
"don't overdo it, it's really just that simple, just look for the key words i told you about." he assured you, his voice not soft but dull, calm, informative with a tinge of affirmation.
the two of you sat next to each other at one of the desks at the very back, chairs pulled slightly closer. you were curled up against your notes while he was sitting with some sort of relaxed posture, ankle on his knee and all. but his explanations never started to lack.
the furrow in his brow grew tenser as the session went on, his thoughts of his scheme slowly bubbling away, his mind tunnel visioning on explaining efficienctly on how to do it before anything else.
he may be a cunning, scheming nerd- but he's still a nerd now come on.
he's never really tutored anyone his age, the oldest he ever went when he was doing it as a side job were some bratty middle school kids, but being with you.. it felt strangely refreshing.
it might not have felt like it for you, but he felt like this 'tutoring session' became more of a discussion. maybe you were too entranced on fully understanding the material to notice, but every now and then in the 48 minutes, you'd say something that'd make him pause and ponder.
making him use that bright noggin of his, you were making points that were turning cogs that otherwise wouldn't have turned. he gained perspective and was impressed.. even learned something new…
the feeling gets crushed in an instant by his own pulse the moment you closed your binder, your eyes set on the clock, it was nearly two thirty and you "didn't want to make him late", when he was the one who came over forty minutes late and was the reason why your time with him was cut in half?!
he coughs behind his hand to distinguish his rising flames of agitation that sprung from your consideration for him. "it'll be fine, if we stop here then i'll make it." he reassures you, you nod and put your materials away. satoshi doesn't budge in his seat.
you seem visibly lighter at the notes you made with him, everything you had asked had been more or less answered. he noticed your questions weren't fundamental, it was the nitty gritty stuff that not many people notice, and then pay for when they're assessed.
out of everyone he knows, he expected you to have noticed it, it was no surprise. but from your text, you made it sound like you had no idea what was going on (or at least, that's what he interpreted as), he was just assuming that he was the smartest in the room as usual..
"thanks again satoshi, i'll text you later on when we should meet." you wave to him, the same cheery smile every time you wear whenever you get the question right despite being at the top of the class. he blinks, and you have now disappeared behind a wall of shelves.
he doesn't even muster a greeting back because now, he's snapped out of it. his relaxed and intrigued expression shifting into one of annoyance, the fist resting on his thigh tightens.
'next time..' he thinks, no, he swears to himself.
your subconscious sweetness numbs him faster than he'd like to admit, he's put off, pissed even. you managed to disarm him so quickly and so well, as he schedules the next meeting with you, he realizes why, and he doesn't like it.
you're nothing like him.
it's easy to say but not as easy to understand, much less accept. especially when looking from satoshi's standing point. because not only are you two on opposite sides of the spectrum, you're better. and it makes the acidic hatred bubble and pop in his gut hotter, tension in his shoulders rise with resentment.
it takes him back to freshman year, when reputations haven't been set yet, cliques haven't formed, but despite the transition to different environments, the hectic-ness of it all, you were gliding your way through the ranks.
lounging on the platform for number one without a hitch, all while in the eyes of the other students, befriending upperclassmen and professors alike, volunteering for events no matter if it gave you extra points or not.
you were known as a trusty, reliable friend to all, kindness was your first response and concern your second. guy or girl and everyone in between and out, satoshi hasn't heard a single bad thing from you, excluding the teacher's pet allegations every now and then, but he gets that too, so it's basically a zero.
it got so ridiculous that he's have had to edit your scores to make them lower than his. it's a sting to his pride, but as long as he's visually succeeding, he skips over it in a heart beat.
the second time you two meet is at one of those private study rooms. neither of you speak a word in respect of others (that's true for you, he just didn't want to look at your face), he sits down across from you this time.
you take out your pens and then the ball starts rolling, on his command this time of course.
this time, he stays true to his words, he sneaks the con into the conversation all too smoothly, and you take the information sincerely. his expression is calmer than last time, you don't notice it, neither does he, but it's not a serene calm but an eerie type.
and yet your softer presence filled his senses, this time he was on his guard with you. soft charms from you bounce off of him like rubber and glue, but he can't help but see it.
he's seen you in all his classes and on campus with a wide range of people, cheering the loudest at events, supporting your upper and underclassmen like it was second nature. you were kind, a face anyone would want to see in the crowd.
and every time, he just scoffs under his breath, spin on his heel and goes back to his room. he has a popular name, but he doesn't care about popularity, he just wants to be the best for his own personal wants, his clingy attachment to the idea of being the one everyone wants to be.
his mission on completing that goal was going well, until you just had to be better at everything, be more likeable, lively, efficient than him. it was a horrible blow to his pride, and he remembers fuming over you multiple times on days when results came out.
it's strange because even more than his actual interests that bring him joy and whatnot, he can spend more time talking about how much he's fed up with how perfect you are. he acts unbothered and uncaring in group conversations but the moment he hears your name, he perks up and listens more.
resentment looks funny when between things you love and things you hate, you can talk more about the latter. he sometimes gets weird looks from his brother, but satoshi never valued his opinion that much anyway, he only valued those who he deemed to be on his caliber.
your nods and sounds of understanding fill the air, confirmation questions and "really?"s pop up. it's almost saccharine, how sweet you are. except deep down, he knows better. he knows you don't have any ulterior motives like him.
he just tells himself these things to remember why he hates you so much, and yet, you sit here in front of him all unaware, assuming he's this smart nice guy trying to help you. a small hole in his pride pops opens and something crawls inside when you look at him with sparking eyes when concept idea clicks.
you leave the session with mixed up notions and vague answers that you found fulfilling. before you two split paths though, you suddenly turn around and pass him a small envelope.
"here, some money for today and last time, i know we haven't decided but i felt bad for pulling you out on the weekend twice in a row." you say, handing it to him, you looked at him in the eyes, sincere and all grateful, that signature smile on your face.
he has to choke out an answer, "sure- thanks, i'll try to contact you an actual answer this time." his answer is stiff but you pay him no mind.
"okay, i have to go now, see you around!" you say delightfully, the man blinks, and you're gone. only thing left of your presence is the money in his hand. his name scribbled in your handwriting on the back, a smiley face scribbled next to it.
he stands and examines the envelope for maybe a second more, opening it up to see thirty bucks (5000yen?). he swallows a wave of emotion that threatened to wash up his shore, stuffing it into his backpack like an after thought. and when he gets back to his dorm, he throw the money into his drawer, having no intention to see it.
the third meet up entailed the two of you reviewing the last few sessions, you recite each slide and note made from his word with certainty. he nods his head and plays along to the lines he's made you say.
he has to hold himself together to not let his plan get blurted, but it gets difficult, seeing you say the incorrect thing with the idea that you're right. he gives you a thumbs up, you raise your hands for a high five and he reluctantly gives it to you.
"i didn't know that was what it was, man, the slides made it sound so convoluted.. i'd be dead if it weren't for you." you comment while packing up your stuff on the fourth meeting, have just finished the tutor session, satoshi was pushing in his chair.
he almost pauses at your words, but he keep his composure perfectly well and says nothing, only a hum. "of course, anytime." again with his calm words, except the way he said it this time, it makes a strange feeling whir in your insides.
but you just brush it off, waving him goodbye as lively as ever, he does the same and you both split your ways.
that day, you were really in the zone, you've made several points about what he said. questioned things not to just only question but to wonder more, your genuine curiosity and want to be able to understand the material was something satoshi has never really seen before, at least, not this up close.
but that just meant that he did have to give up some of his tricks in order to not make you more curious and ask more questions because he knows that if he says something off, you can and will pick it up. the tricks he sneaks in anyway are small and just mess with foundation and organization, but knowing you, he knew he'd have to keep it onto a smaller scale. so he had to work hard to make it seem like the actual thing.
that's how hard it was to lie to you. it pissed him off how clever you were, how you were able to nitpick the same things he was able to when he first was internalizing everything and more. how you were able to memorize things just as quickly as he could, how easily you could intake information and score perfect on the practice problems he gave you.
he hated how perfect you were.
…but did he hate you?
the softness you showed him, you never reprimanded him because in your eyes, he was the one doing you a favor. the smiles, the light in your eyes when you understood what he said, the fire in your tone when you two discussed about something.
you both bringing insightful ideas that make the other pause and think, using all cells in their brains to come to a conclusion. you made him really think and understand how you were thinking, it was cohesive and straighforward, just how like likes it.
the thoughtfulness that comes to you as natural as breathing, you always check on him for times and places. barely pushing on your own terms and yet when he scheduled at difficult times, you just either do your best to adjust or decline(and when that happens, you apologize a lot and make him feel bad annoyed because you keep repeating pestering him about how sorry you are.
he turns onto his side in his bed.
like, you you?
he's got to do what he has to do. he's in too deep to step out now.
…
ngl gng im js posting js to post, i want this disgusting thing out of my drafts
