Hey? I apologize for not posting anything for a long time. I don't know what is happening to me, but my hobbies have definitely not met a very good fate. You know, I was always told and forced to be normal and adequate. Like, as soon as I show at least a part of my real personality, my family tells me that it was imposed on me by someone from the outside to force me to serve "evil spirits" (yes, my parents believe in this fucking shit). They always say this and...about everything. My former good acquaintances (I can't call them friends anymore, sorry), games, my music, my drawings, my clothes, and even my fucking voice.
And despite the fact that I am probably a separate and independent person... I have been living in such weird conditions since childhood. Also, sooner or later, I start to hate the things I liked and the people who do what I did. Yes, I'm starting to say to myself, "These are bad things. God wouldn't approve of that. I must atone for this sin and never commit new ones". And if in the beginning I just get a dose of joy from the fact that I, for example, play games or watch movies, later I always start to hate it and, moreover, mock people who like it. Like, "Oh, that little bastard was offended by that the games were called satanic toys, it's so cute. Come on, cry, little bitch. Oh, you also like to draw? Did you know that drawing is only for stupid gays? I don't even feel sorry for you, you should kill yourself". Well, my insults always sound stupid, as if a schoolboy is saying it...
In general... Now I feel the same way about my hobbies. I can't even bring myself to sit down at the computer again and start doing anything. Like, yes, I was able to draw three drawings on Artfight, but I'm afraid these will be the last drawings in a long time ahead... Now I just come home from work and go to bed, and I don't care that it's not night yet. Less time to sin, so to speak.
I still want to draw, write music, do a lot of different things. Damn, I even once wanted to stream on Twitch like I draw or play games. That would be cool... Unfortunately, I will probably be a "normal person" for a long time.
