by Sue Barr / A Visual Storyteller

Random images created with art in mind... All Images are © suebarrphoto and can not be used to advertise or promote services or products without permission. Please credit Sue Barr Photo or post a link to www.suebarr.com

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As we all embrace the future, we must not forget the now. Being present for all the amazing and also the painful moments that we pass through, will guarantee our appreciation for what's to come! #generationz #visualstoryteller #bonfirenight #litbyfire #lifeisgood #youngadults #mellowhang #muses #future (at Red Bank, New Jersey) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQTXRSwrXUX/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Apparently, Male Influencer is a job with lots of obvious perks, but is it actually a viable career path with longevity & security?Just asking? Recently, I have been the go to photographer to capture their daily walk a-bouts (in 30 minutes) for a few. Having  a huge following with engagement seems to be a bankable commodity worthy of hiring someone to document thier life.None of these guys have shared with me the concept of their shoot, other than it had to be in a specific location? I show up and try to engage but basically they just want to look cool and neither engagement with my lens or laughter is on the shot list! Honored to be chosen but confused of the purpose. My greatest joy as a visual storyteller is collaboration with my clients & subjects to create relatable content that engages the viewer. If I only cared about composition I would literally of become a fine art photographer and pursued that avenue of creative expression….. As the world opens up again, I want to make sure I am  viable collaborator in an evolving marketplace. Just trying to understand the unexplainable!Silly me!

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Welcome to HellGate

Urban Farming is really a thing... On a recent assignment I schlepped two hours (lots of traffic since the pandemic protocols were lifted) to an ethnically mixed Astoria neighborhood to Hellgate, an urban farm, on the roof(s) and back alleys of one of the tenements crowded into a typical city neighborhood.  A country farm like atmosphere crammed into an urban environment with city views...  I was there to photograph content for  Hoselink, a retractable gardening hose company...https://www.hoselink.com/  Who knew urban farming existed... https://www.instagram.com/hellgatefarm/

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Growing up is inevitable...

I have focused my lens on these two since before they were born... They are just happy, well adjusted little munchkins who are a joy to be around. Sometimes I want to put my camera down and just play with them but my job is to capture their everyday. 

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FireMan’s Fair 2018

Just wandered around taking #randomsnaps... with #availblelight

A few of my #GenZ muses were there .... Teens are so much harder to capture the truth but I loved being the roving photographer in the middle of the #burbs focusing on the #extraordinarymoment

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A Baptism

There aren’t too many situations that I can’t acclimate myself, as long as i have a camera in my hands (without my lens I am hopeless and a bit shy:) but this one was a complete stretch. 

My housekeeper’s daughter in-law texted me last week and asked me to photograph her son’s baptism. I said I would love too and asked for a very nominal fee (I figured an hour or less on a Sunday as plenty of time) as I knew they were all immigrants working hard at menial jobs. 

Here’s the catch. Information like time, place and names were not very forthcoming. A definite communication problem stemming from a language and cultural barriers . A day before I got the address of the church and the morning of, I finally got the time.

I knew the church as my son had played basketball there in grade school but when I walked in it was as if I had entered another country. There were 100′s of people kneeling in the lobby and the sanctuary was filled to capacity. In the back of the church was a band and choir performing a very upbeat Spanish tune ( maybe a hymn but I didn’t recognize the song). it had a sort of Mariachi feel  to it especially since they were wearing all white embroidered outfits.... 

I had no idea what this family looked like so I kinda froze in the lobby hoping I would spot my housekeeper, Silvia, or her daughter, Eva, as they were the only ones I knew personally. Most were casually dressed in jeans and tons of toddlers running about. No one  I asked about the baptism understood English so I just texted my subject  (still don’t know her name).   Sure enough Eva appeared in the lobby but the language thing made it hard for her to tell me what to do. No worries another text arrived and said they were in the front of the sanctuary with Silvia....

Well I walked in as they were all getting thier communion wafers and it was like a traffic jam of people.  Impossible to find my subjects. After 10 minutes of trying to inconspicuously walk on the side looking for  the two recognizable faces I found them at the  6th pew on the far side of the church and they pointed out to me my subjects for the day.  All dressed up  in way more then thier Sunday best...I am talking some were in evening gowns and there were other families dressed to the nines. 

Well I immediately took my camera out and adjusted my settings for the church and started shooting. As I focused on the family and the the adorable little boy in white sleeping in his father’s arms, I was introduced to the godmother and the 2nd son and then others started asking me in Spanish to photograph thier families...  It seemed like it was a communal baptism of  children dressed in all white and all different ages. 

If only I spoke Spanish I could of made some extra $ but I just concentrated on my commission and realized how my lens brings me to most interesting places and how grateful I am for the opportunities I have because of my craft. 

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The Perfect Christmas Present (for a Jew)

I would like to tell u a story and like all good stories it starts... Once upon a time …and like all good stories there’s a struggle, a longing and then when hope is almost gone a miracle happens.

Once upon a time there was a woman who had an awesome life. She traveled the world and worked with fashion designers, dated male models and partied with rock stars but her heart was empty. She tried to fill the emptiness with lovers and designer clothes and exotic vacations but nothing filled the gaping hole in her heart.

That woman was me. I was in my early 30’s and it was the naughty 90’s.  I was  was a fashion stylist and editor. Styling Big Brand Commercials, Print Ads, Rock Stars and Fashion Magazines.  Sony, Coca Cola and L’Oreal, Brett Micheals, Bon Jovi, Hall & Oats , The Fashion section of the NY Times and the Italian Magazine Donna were among my daily clients. No matter how successful I was  my heart was empty. I was so blessed that my career took me to so many wonderful places and introduced to me to all types of amazing people but I seemed to always be searching for that something or someone to fill my aching heart. I even changed careers to become a photographer mid decade thinking that being the creator would help the loneliness and despair I felt within.

One sunny day my career took me to a palm tree shaded neighborhood in the outskirts of Miami where i met the most adorable 2 year old and his mom. She was bright, loving and seemed so well adjusted as she told me her tale of becoming a single mother by choice. I knew right then and there that everything I was blessed with needed to be shared with my own child. I knew that I needed to fill my heart with giggles and blue ices and rollercoaster rides, fill my heart with the simplicity of childhood. I realized the cure for my ache was becoming a mother.

But like all good stories, this revelation was just the beginning of a long and painful journey. I signed up at a sperm bank and chose my child’s father from a stack of dossiers. I chose a Sperm donor #6930, a 6 foot tall, dark haired Ivy Leagued Russian scholar who I nicknamed Ivan.  For over a year I monitored my cycle and did artificial insemination with Ivan twice a month and and a turkey baster.  And after a year of failure and my biological clock  passionately ticking away I invested the last of my savings into a round of artificial insemination. My hormones were raging from both the drugs and this secret desire to be a mom.  The IVF didn’t work and I was referred to a fertility specialist. It  seemed like the ache in my heart was growing to a cavernous level that could never be filled. It took 6 more months before I had a my appointment with a renowned fertility specialist who basically told me my clock had stopped ticking. His solution was I should buy donor eggs. Donor eggs and Sperm from a sperm bank was his solution. He even suggested how I could get discount eggs! .

At that very moment I had an epiphany that pregnancy was not the only way to fulfill my desire to become a mother. I thanked him  for his time with tears in eyes and  left his office with a bit hope filling the emptiness in my heart. It had taken almost a decade since I had decided to become a mother and I was 43 years old but so much had changed the world around me and with me. Michelle Pfeiffer, Madonna, Sharon Stone and Rosie had all become single mothers by choice as well as everyday, hard working middle aged woman. Single motherhood was all the rage and I felt comfortable talking to everyone about the possibilities of adoption.

I photographed families and kids and openly envied the adorableness of each and every baby I captured through my lens. Then one day as the holidays were approaching and that emptiness of not having a family started creeping into my heart again another amazing woman with the most adorable 6 year old daughter shared her personal journey of motherhood as she handed me a tattered business card and said I too could become a mom.

On the card was printed Steve Sklar, Adoption lawyer with an 800 phone #. I immediately called the # and was told they had a new jersey office and could meet with me in less than a month and discuss my options. Visions of childhood danced in my head and filled my heart again with the hope of giggles, and rollercoaster rides and blue raspberry ices.

My 44th birthday approached and days afterwards I met with the lawyer and he explained the process of domestic adoptions. My choices were varied and in a split second I decided the only thing that was important was I wanted a newborn with 10 fingers and toes. I didn’t care about race or sex or anything else.

So much to do to get ready for my bundle of joy that my heart was filling up with the hope on anticipation.  Home studies, and legal stuff as well as referrals from the community to gather and a  heartfelt dossier of pictures and words of why I wanted to be a mom addressed to an unknown woman somewhere in the country who would read it and chose me to her babies mommy. Somehow this all seemed manageable and easier than anything else I had tried but to guard myself from another devastating blow of defeat I gave myself a deadline. This would happen within the year and if my 45th birthday came first I would just give up and not look back. My heart just could not fill up and empty out so many times without becoming permanently broken so I swore I would be happy knowing that I gave my all to the journey of motherhood.

Unfortunately there was even more heartache to come. My family were all adamantly against my decision to become a mom on my own and would not discuss the process with me. Three birth mothers chose me, only to renege on the option of adoption at the last minute. One as I was was on route to the hospital, another newborn 4. 3 oz bundle of joy was placed in my arms in April but then when she was suppose to be released from the Neonatal Unit the birth mom changed her mind. Each time the agony of loss was more excruciating but my heart was still filled with idea of mommyhood. I photographed at carnivals and beaches and lovingly captured childhood for families across the country as I ached for my own.

Like all good stories, , when you wait long enough and you believe eventually something positive happens.  And it did! …  On one very cold gray December day a few weeks before my 45th birthday the phone rang. I almost didn’t answer as the holidays were approaching and i just couldn't bare another mindless sales call or worse an invite to some friends joyous family get together. I did answer the phone and on the other end was literally an angel. Well an angel in a bit of a bind. Someone who needed me as much as I needed her. A young woman named Dawn, who had a baby in her tummy but no room in her heart for the little soul would be arriving into the world very soon! It seemed that she thought I would an awesome mommy to the baby in her tummy.  One heart would be healed and the other would be filled with smiles and roller coasters and blue ices and the mummy rides at st leos fair.  A win win situation.

So that December I thought would be my saddest ever became so joyous as I filled my home with all that would make make my baby giggle and grow in this wonderful world. Friends and clients from far and wide brought cribs and cradles and bottles and bibs, high chairs and playpens, swings and stuffe animals, blankets and lovey’s and so many things that my home was filled just like my heart.

The days passed, my 45th birthday came and went and the holidays were looming and the angel lady with the baby in her tummy stopped calling. I just couldnt believe another birth mom had changed her mind. It seemed I was living a nightmare and there would never be a happy beginning to my story.  Hanukkah passed and then Christmas eve did to, and the ache in my heart was just unbearable. The sun was rising on a cold barren christmas morning and the phone rang at 6:45 AM and I just couldn bear to answer and hear some joyous well wishing friend with a loving family invite me to spend a merry day with them.  I did finally answer the ring and it was Dawn, that lovely angel lady with a baby in her tummy wishing me the Merriest Christmas. Well she didn't actually wish me a merry christmas , she told me she was on the way to the hospital and I should come as soon as I could to meet my baby. Literally, I grabbed a suitcase of diapers and onesies and a pile of cash and raced to the airport as she was in Tennessee ( i forgot a change of underwear and a warm jacket for myself).

I arrived in the hospital when the sun was gently setting behind the mountains, walked down the longest corridor in the biggest hospital I had ever been to. Every step was filled with boo boos and band Aids and kisses and pool splashes and homework and Saturday morning cartoons and pajama days and movie nights. All the things that fill a heart and make a mommy: As I walked down that hall I knew I was walking into the beginning of my happy story. I was becoming a mom and I knew it would be the greatest journey I would ever take.

I opened the hospital door and there was this tiny precious bundle of poop and burps and diapers and onesies who swaddled tighly in his hospital blanket and smiled right at me. He had the biggest smile a tiny little soul could ever have and my heart was immediately filled with something so big andI just didn’t know how to describe it. It was love

And our life as a family started. Yes it was filled with smiles and giggles and glee and definately blue raspberry ices and rollercoasters and mummy rides at St Leos fair . And so much more, good things and hard things and funny things and even some sad things but mostly so much more then I could have ever dreamt of.  Two moms, a birth mom and an adoptive mom together healed each other’s hearts and a tiny little soul is growing up to become a shining star.

When he was just 4 years old he looked at me one Christmas morning as he was opening his presents and said Mom it’s amazing that everyone celebrates my birthday. On  Christmas Morning please remember to wish Jake happy birthday as I will always remember to wish all a very merry!

http://www.app.com/picture-gallery/entertainment/2017/12/13/jersey-storytellers-home-for-the-holidays/108587382/

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5 Minutes to Shoot!

My son and his good friend were hanging @ the house on Saturday and as I was leaving to pick up a friend at the airport I realized they would make great subjects for a travel shoot. We grabbed some suitcases, a cowboy hat and a few more accessories so the images were well propped. Of  course there was traffic and my friend’s plane landed early at a different terminal, so I only had 5 minutes to get the essence of millennial’s traveling!  I think we did it... Thanks to my models! 

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The Momma Club

I was 10 days past my 45th birthday when I was finally accepted into this club. It took a few months to leave the cocoon of my home and venture out into the big bad world with my little one in tow to meet up with my “Mommy Group” at Soho Parenting.

Membership included the ability to function without sleep, being grateful for any meal even if it didn’t include a table or silverware and bathing daily was just an option.  The best perk of this exclusive club were the other new moms that have become lifelong friends.We walked the city streets and stopped for quick cups of coffee , maneuvered feeding and changing them on the go and exchanged tips on just about everything that had to do with raising kids in this crazy world. 

Admittance to this club never wavers from generation to generation. It is really not so exclusive anymore. Admittance includes stay at home dads, maternal gay men and women and virtually anyone that cares about the health and welfare of next generation.  #MommyPower

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Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

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I love shooting the #chaos of family life. You might remember a sweet shoot I did last year of a one year old’s smash cake birthday celebration.Everything was so perfect. Mom and dad smiled on cue and the baby looked thrilled to dive into his birthday cake…Even the puppies were adorable…  Cut to a year later and a new arrival into the family :)Real Life is not so perfect but it is cinematographic, especially this fabulous family in their #colorfilled home.Meet @Dana and her brood ( Husband,  new born baby, toddler and two puppies)  .. She is heading back to work next week  @Salonconcrete ( she is an awesome colorist)  after a few months of Maternity leave! Do you think she’s looking forward to hanging with some adults ?______

#storyteller #contentcreator #extraordinarymoments #capturedmoments #familyportraits #lifeathome #newbaby #mommyhood #parenthood #organizedchaos#NJPhototgrapher #NYPhotographer #lifestylephotographer #reallifestyle #authenticmoments #advertisingphotographer #NikonLove #NikonShooter #Nikon #babylove #parenthood 

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School Days... How could anyone Question the diversity of RBCS ? This is Jake's class since kindergarten!

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Daddy Time

OMG these two adorable twins are exhausted before they even get out of the car for a brisk autumn walk with their Dad... 

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A day in our life!

Jake and I spent this past Wednesday at the African American Museum. It is by far the most fabulous public space I have ever encountered. It’s spacious, and interactive, visually intense yet designed to find your inner peace. It was enlightening to be with my son as he discovered his heritage. We also celebrated my accomplishment of having an image on display on the 4th floor that illustrates the “Stories Across the Landscape” A truly wonderful family day!

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Boys to Men

Freshman football practice @ #RBC... And these guys were the newbies on the field this morning! http://www.suebarr.com

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A Digital Life...

This commision was so much fun as the family just wanted photos of the everyday chaos. It was really enlightening to see how much our life is tied to our devices