I forgive you

.

[suedepoetry]

If I had seen you from afar, on a warm day in spring with your hair free, skin shining and eyes contemplating, I would love you

[suedepoetry]

When you are strange and the world has no guidebook for your love, most will be frightened.

Until one day somebody walks in and shows you their favorite places in your soul, calling it triumph. 

[suedepoetry]

I met him deeply in my reflection. Seeing similarities yet sharing no features, I call him a twin. It’s all in the eyes, the depth of his mirrors mine and there is a flame.

Molly Sevol

[suedepoetry]

I had to tell you. Every time I looked at you it is all I said inside of my head. It started to poison me. I found my self on drunk nights whispering to strangers. I would say "there is somebody out there, somebody who could bring stars down from the sky"

Suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

Knowing how to suffer is how I survived. You just have to close off your heart and become an ocean with no waves. This can make you tired This has made me tired

Suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

I want things that I dont want like fighting a heart for passion and eating at a rotton apple to pass the time when I’m not even hungry. Hungry in that kind of way for decay. I  want to destroy my life while knowing so well everything is burning. To be aware that everything I need and love is soon going to be dust. This time I need my mind to be strong and aware while my heart remains longing and always falling for brighter things

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

I had my mothers knack for suffering. Her big sullen eyes and aching want. I had her way of loving what was mortal.

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

There is something so weak and so feeble that comes pouring out of me. It fills me up with a dread for art. So I ask it, how am I supposed to run beside the gods when the walk leaves me vulnerable? How am I supposed to break open the forbidden?

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

My aesthetic has to be dying romantically yet tragically but always beautifully.

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

There needs to be honesty in everything I am. I need to walk honestly  and need to speak honestly   and most important I need to love honestly,   I must say what is needed in each moment  before the fire of lies turns my skin ugly. I am an open heart that can’t sit in silence,

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

I can’t even think about it. How much I cared and how much I loved you.

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

These pieces fall off of me and my body cramps up into the position of a claw. Trying to grasp on I move like arthritis. Limbs seizing while trying to  hold together everything. Then once I believe I have everything I'm spasming and my minds exploding.  I need help I call into nothing.  Not even an echo comes back to me. I am alone in a cold directionless hole

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

I had this friend once. Whenever I speak of her my heart gets overwhelmed and then I am so happy.  I am so happy with our memories that I dissolve into them. More and more I find myself speaking of her less

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

Boys drip wet pressure onto me like watering a lily and I swoon. I am so grown up with my smile and walk so   I control men and they drop. Oh how it is so wonderful to be an adult. At night I reach into my pockets and call to my favorite one. I wait in agony until his tongue is falling down into my lungs and I can no longer feel the lack of love.  But what about romance?  I know none of that but maybe I have tasted it once. I wouldn't know anymore. I know lacy underwear And being so insecure that I shake while lifting my skirt. Hands on my  skin cannot fix what I am But tonight it feels alright

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

After all this time it is you I choke out of my lungs. When I feel empty and translucent it is you who climbs out of my core and relieves it. The after you is the strangest and most ghostly. It is an early whisper at the heart, reminding it of feeling. The only reality has to be unearthed by you and I faint into ecstasy. But also sadness. All this is hopefulness that you will be new again. That I will be re birthed pure and familiar. I will inhale all that is your understanding. How dreadful that after all this time it is you I am still breathing.

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

Sometimes I feel I don't exist. Not in the alone hidden by my shadow way. The way in which the clouds are still and the trees don't sway kinda way. My mind can breathe and I can be because  non existence is a symphony of me. It's so none melancholy. Just me resting my head in letters. A curved O and a sharp K.   I'm am ok.

suedepoetry

[suedepoetry]

I can't not love you fiercely when your winds come in harsh and heavy. I thought this was over. How could I think this was over? That your existence isn't like standing on the top of  a mountain after years of climbing. Even when hunger sets  in and the cold chills my bones, I am never coming down.

suedepoetry