☭ Shit Katya Zamolodchikova Says Sentence Starters ☭
A sentence meme of the shit Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova (but your dad just calls her Katya) has said, tweeted or screamed at the moon whilst atop the highest peak of the tallest mountain. Sentences come from her time on Rupaul’s Drag Race, All Stars 2, her own web series (RuGRETS, Total RuCall and RuFLECTIONS on YouTube) or from UNHhhh.
Change pronouns/tenses/whatever however you want!
“I relish the opportunity to be ooky-spooky.”
“I do not jump for joy, I frolic in doubt.”
“Reality is a bunch of bullshit.”
“My makeup tonight went from steamy romance novel to independent horror movie and has now settled at haunting 70’s true crime docu-drama.”
“I feel like straight people need to calm down sometimes and just quietly reflect on their choices.”
“Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in outer space, which is cool.”
“Climate change? Horseshit. Real clouds and weather are sturdy and reliable and controlled by God’s butler in Heaven whose name is Sexy Theo.”
“If you have a baby you can’t be the baby.”
“When you get lonely or sad try wearing a funky hat.”
“This Valentine’s Day I encourage all my fellow single ladies to reflect on the way our dead relatives keep us single by using dark magic.“
“You can’t rush true love. You have to wait patiently, in the woods, covered in deer piss and then shoot it and use its blood for rituals.”
“Perseverance, determination and tenacity are keys to achieving goals and success but don’t forget that simply giving up can be nice too.”
“I just screamed at a fly to leave me the fuck alone. I guess it’s time to take a shower.”
"I can move my body in a compelling way, it usually compels people to leave the room.”
“I’m not that young, I’m just ignorant.”
“Regret is a dish best served cold–wait no, that’s revenge”
“I want a man who is not afraid to welcome the spirit of pure evil into the bedroom.”
“What in the fucking hell is going on here?”
“You know what that means? I don’t either.”
“I looked like a sea witch…and that’s a good thing.”
“Hi, I’m human mistake [name].”
“I am my own worst enema.”
“Why try new things when I can try nothing?”
“I am not rushin’ to say whether or not I actually am Russian. Get it?”
“You’re an idiot and I love ya.”
“I always wanted to know what the female Gremlin would look like in 25 years.”
“Excited about life. Worried about the future.”
“The one thing I regret is not grabbing him by the neck, stealing his wallet, taking an Uber to his house, playing cards with his wife…Taking over his whole family with my new life as an old dad.”
“I’m probably 10% famous, I don’t know.”
“I’m the good person version of Freddy Krueger.”
“I like to think of it as the visual representation of untreated mental illness.”
“I am not…emotionally or psychologically equipped to deal with a lot of situations that happen in life.”
“I don’t take anything personally except most things.”
“Up until I was 25 years old my savings account was a…was a thermos.”
“Thank you so much, I’m very intelligent.”
“I’ll block you, then I’ll block your whole family and then I’ll come into your house and I’ll steal your phone and I’ll block myself.”
“The boogeyman is not real, the real boogeyman is what? Poverty.”
“Nobody’s listening to you complain, Brenda, shut the fuck up.”
“My wheeze aged ten years.”
“Everyday’s Halloween if you believe it in your heart.”
“You know, they say space is the final frontier but really death is.”
“I don’t believe you for one second. Show me the PBS documentary receipts.”
“My mother was the best parent! She’d kick your mother’s ass.”
“I mean, stage moms, that’s parenting gone right…wrong. Wrong!”
“That’s a rash not a herpes sore.”
"In America talk is cheap…in Colombia talk is…Spanish.”
“'Who do I think I am? Galadriel, Grand Wizardess of the Tri City Rent Fair?”
“I don’t know anything about science other than it’s really good for you.”
“You didn’t just see red flags. You did a tour of the plant that makes the red flags and went to every level. And you stayed.”
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