Strange Bedfellows Chapter 5 Preview: the one where Konatsu takes out the garbage in the only way she knows howđĽ đď¸ đĽ
âThank you, come again!â
The last of the lunch crowd filed out of Ucchanâs Okonomiyaki. Konatsu waved goodbye with a smile on her face, ever the cheerful and adorable mascot of the finest casual dining establishment in northwestern Tokyo. There had never been a more perfect day to be a waitress, she thought. The sun was gleaming like a topaz in the clear winter sky, the grill was firing at exactly 176.6 degrees Celsius, and Konatsuâs makeup wasâif she did say so herselfâperfect.
But something wasnât right. Konatsu could feel it. There was an evil presence lurking nearby that threatened to ruin everything sheâd worked for.
Fortunately, Konatsu had trained all her life for this moment.
âGoodness, is it time to dispose of the garbage already?!â she said to no one in particular.
She threw a lit match into the trash can and closed the lid, then clapped her hands together in prayer.
âRest in peace, filth,â she said.
The trash can got very, very angry.
âWhat the hellâs wrong with you, you crazy broad?!â it said, seething and spouting smoke. It sprouted feet and began running around in a circle, desperate to stop itself from burning. âHot, hot, hot!â
It plunged itself into the sink, and the fire sizzled out and vanished like a bad dream. A ponytailed head of hair wrapped up in a silken ribbon emerged from under the faucet, spitting out a mouthful of water.
âEek, a cockroach!â Konatsu said. She reached for a fly swatter. âDonât worry. Iâll grant you a quick and painless death, little one,â she said, preparing to strike a fatal blow.
The inhabitant of the sink grabbed hold of her wrist before she could properly smash it.
âYou know damn well Iâm not a bug!â it protested.
Konatsu looked down, perfectly feigning shock.
âWhy, Tsubasa, dear! Is that you? What a surprise! Why didnât you tell me you were planning to visit?â she said.
Tsubasa Kurenai lifted himself over the edge of the counter, the guise of the trash can discarded. He jumped out of the sink in a white tank top and shorts. His long, silken hair bounced along perkily behind him in a way that secretly made Konatsu seethe with jealousy.
âŚSheâd find out what products he used someday, she vowed.
âVery funny,â Tsubasa said. He stuck out his bottom lip and leaned forward, fixing Konatsu with an accusing glare. âYouâre a menace to society, you know that? Youâre lucky my dearest Ukyo has such a kind heart, taking in gutter trash like you!â
âOh, dear, I think you must be unwell,â Konatsu said, laying her palm across Tsubasaâs forehead. âYouâre the one who was dressed up like garbage a minute ago, darling. Shall I call you an ambulance?â she said.
Tsubasa smacked her hand away. âDonât get all cutesy with me! Where are you hiding her?!â he asked.
Konatsu leaned her elbow lazily upon the counter, plopping her chin into her hand and tilting her head to the side. âIâm not hiding anything. If youâre looking for Mistress Ukyo, Iâm afraid youâve missed her. Sheâs at her part-time job right now.â
Tsubasa took a mighty step back and gasped. âPart-time job?! Oh, my poor, dear Ukyo!â he said, lacing his fingers together and crying out to the heavens. âHas she really fallen on such hard times? Donât worry, Ukyoâyour knight in shining armor is here to save you!â
Konatsu couldnât take it anymore. She slapped Tsubasa across the face with a spatula.
âHow dare you doubt Mistress Ukyoâs business sense like that! Iâll have you know sheâs doing perfectly well for herselfâsheâs only working at the Pantyhose Taro Dojo out of the goodness of her heartâfor the sake of her dearest friends!â Konatsu said.
âPhantyhoshe Tharro Dhojo?â Tsubasa asked, his tongue protruding from his swollen jaw.
Realizing her mistake, Konatsu drew back and splayed her delicate fingers across her mouth. âOh, dear, but Iâve said too much,â she said.
âComing!â Konatsu said, all but singing as she dove for the receiver.
âUcchanâs Okonomiyaki. Konatsu speaking. How may I help you?âŚOhâŚ? YesâŚyes, I understand. Iâll let her know right awayâŚmhmâŚ.yes. All rightâŚof course. Bye, then!â
Konatsu hung up. Her cheerful expression dissolved into utter seriousness.
âSo,â she said to herself. âThe day has finally come.â
âWhat are you on aboutâŚ?â Tsubasa asked.
Konatsu shoved a spatula into her nemesisâs hands.
âNo time to explain! Watch the restaurant for me!â she said.
âNo time to explain! Watch the restaurant for me!â she said. She burst out of her waitress garb to reveal the ninja armor underneath and took off running into the shopping district, leaving Tsubasa to tend to the grill in his underwear.