Ella

[sugarbabyella]

This

[sugarbabyella]

I thought he was the perfect POT until I asked him what benefits I will receive and he said ‘you will learn a lot about me, isn’t that enough’ 

I, then, asked him if he knows what a SD/SB is, and told me he thought it was a site for younger girls that have a thing for older men.... I wish SD sites gave more information before joining the site.

[sugarbabyella]

A POT asked me to go out tomorrow but he doesn’t speak my language, I always get so nervous when speaking in English... advice, please?

[sugarbabyella]

Fucking done with V. He asks me how much I need, I tell him and now, after a few days chatting, I send him the link to send me money and says "we have never met" ????? Hellooooo??? I'm not going to waste my time talking to you for free. Come to my country or pay for my flight to NY and we will meet. This is not going to be a free platonic online arrangement. He was the one who said he wanted something platonic and online because he has a gf. Ok but platonic arrangements also involve money, locals or long distance, you have to pay. He's now telling me "but we are friends, right?" GUY WTF ARE YOU SMOKING? BYE. Also, look at your girlfriend before calling me names. Funny how when you mention money they lose respect for you. Rant over.

[sugarbabyella]

Annnnd this is what happens when you ask for $$$. I'm not fake, I'm using one of my selfies. If he found my instagram, he could have asked if it was me LOL now you can't be a sugar baby if you're slightly "instafamous" wow. Anyways I wasn't interested, he doesn't know what a sugar daddy is. He only wants one night stands/pay for play and is fucking desperate.

[sugarbabyella]

Rant

Yesterday I saw on Facebook that someone I know shared a video about the Seeking Arrangement party. She also commented ‘high class slutties :O’. It made me feel angry lol but I didn’t comment since I prefer to avoid online arguments, but ok girl you chose not to go to university but the ones that did, some of them can’t afford it, like me. What I am studying is very expensive and my family doesn’t pay everything. I also have a strange relationship with my father because of my step mom, who says I don’t need to study and that I should start working (when the reality is that nobody hires a 20 years old in my country and I wanna study). H is helping me to pay my studies. If you choose not to go to the university, I’m not going to say anything about it. There are plenty of choices. But keep in mind that we are the same age, and where you’re living, it’s more fucked up than where I am living. You’re trying to get a job, but you can only apply for McDonald’s. If you get the job, ok, but if you don’t, you’re living off your parents until you get the job. I prefer to be with H and start working on my future rather than living off my parents until they kick me out.

[sugarbabyella]

H sent me a message wishing me luck with my final exams aww <3 

He told me that if I get good grades, I can pick something from net a porter as reward for studying hard and I’ve been dreaming about a Saint Laurent biker jacket since months ago!

[sugarmystiko]

Need a new phone number?

If any of you girls ever need a good texting/calling app that gives you a valid phone number, try Pinger!

It gives you a new number and you can even make calls. It’s very easy to use and free in the App Store :)

It’s a perfect solution for us girls who don’t want to divulge our real phone number to a POT right off the bat.

Xo

[collegetuitionambition]

How I, a sugar baby, got caught by my parents

First off, I would like to mention that I’m writing this over the course of multiple days. I don’t get much online access anymore, so to type it all out will take a little while. I’m hoping this post will do two things: 1. Teach sugar babies how to be more careful with their secret lifestyle and 2. Convince those that truly don’t belong in the bowl to leave

I slacked off in school

I don’t know if it was my subconscious telling me, “hey, you don’t need to study! You’ll be married rich within 5 years!” or some bullshit like that, but I started doing worse in school. I typically just made the deans list every semester, but last semester, I got Ds and Fs, which obviously means the only list I achieved was the Academic Probation list.  This raised suspicion with my parents.

I bragged about it to too many people

It started out with telling only my closest friends. Then, I started telling acquaintances. Eventually, I felt comfortable enough to tell everyone who was willing to listen. I stopped being so careful, even though the sugar bowl community constantly said otherwise. 

I texted people my sugar info 

Kind of adding on to my previous point, I would text my friends about my lifestyle. This is what really got me in trouble. My parents went through my phone (which they have the right to do since they pay for my phone bill) and saw texts between my friends and I. It would be something stupid like “just got a Panera gift card from this old sac in Houston! Free lunch for me ;)” or “Going on a date with a gross 56 year old today :(” Obviously, after reading these, my parents wanted to know what the hell I was doing.

Pleading my case

“I think it’s empowering” <- my only argument. Only having one point to make after hours upon hours of being lectured isn’t very convincing. I eventually gave in and told them what they needed to hear. That I’m ashamed, full of remorse, and disgusted with myself. In a way, that’s true. I feel like a stranger in my own body right now. 

So, what now? 

I’m currently in the process of gaining my parents’ trust back. I got my bedroom door back (lol). I don’t want to leave the bowl, but I definitely have to slow down and reevaluate my life. Anyone in real life who asks me about being a sugar baby will get the same response: “I don’t do that anymore. It’s super dangerous and I just don’t think it’s a smart idea.” 

I’m super depressed. Living in my house is just a constant reminder of how disappointed my family is in me. I tried to kill myself twice. Obviously both times failed, which I am ultimately happy about. I’m doing nothing but work and school now. I’m still doing pretty bad in my classes so far this semester. I have very little motivation to do anything. Honestly, if I could get through this semester with all Cs, I’ll be so happy. This is my busiest semester thus far.. Five on-campus classes and two online classes. But anyway, I think when this semester ends, a new chapter will finally start. It’ll be summer and I’ll have 20 credits under my belt (If I pass everything!)

By the way, if anyone wants to help me with accounting, I’d be so grateful lol..

I hope I covered enough for y’all. There is still a lot of personal details I left out, but I’d be down to elaborate on anything else you want to know. Please please PLEASE ask me any questions you have, I’d be happy to answer. I’ll answer them all publicly unless you ask me to answer privately, so that if someone has the same question, they could see it. 

I’ll also probably reblog this post once a month or so, so that anyone who missed it can read this. I think this is a post everyone in the sugar bowl should take note of. 

Stay safe babies!! And remember the risk you are taking in this lifestyle! Love you all!!!

[saccharinebabe]

Shopping With Your SD

So I just received an ask about tips for shopping with your SD, so I just decided to make a post about it.

Go for quality over quantity. Try and have him take you to a store like Barney’s, Bergdorffs’, Saks, etc. as opposed to “regular stores.” I love H&M, Forever 21, and Urban Outfitter too ladies, but I can buy that shit for myself. If I’m shopping with someone else’s money, I want the best, not the most.

First Priorities: Clothing for dates, things like expensive dresses, shoes, lingerie etc. and luxury basics, such as a perfect pair of jeans, perfect white T, leather jacket, etc. The date stuff is obviously useful for, well, going on dates, and usually your SD likes to see you in things he buys for you. The luxury basics, on the other hand, give you the most bang for your buck in terms of elevating your overall wardrobe, because you have those great pieces to build on. These items will be useful even if you SD left you the next day. You have the wardrobe necessary to get a new one fast, and those piece will last you for years to come. I would also include anything you NEED on this level of priority, so if you needed a new winter coat, make sure you get one.

Second Priorities: After getting a good base of date clothing and basics, next time he takes you shopping, aim for things you want but wouldn’t buy for yourself. For example, I do shop with my allowance, but would probably never drop a couple grand on a handbag or a pair of Loubs. But my SD might in addition to my allowance, so I’d get them then. This is also the time when you can buy more “trendy” items that you just want to have.

Jewelry is always a great option not because it’s practical, but because you can always sell it in a pinch for a high resale value.

On that note, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS keep tags, certificates of authenticity, and receipts, and put them someone you won’t lose track of them. It’s really hard to resell something for a good price without proof that it’s authentic, and authenticating something without that proof is really hard as well. In the case of selling things like designer bags, the difference in values is THOUSANDS of dollars.

Don’t stop until you get enough. Don’t worry about looking greedy. Your SD will let you know when he’s ready to stop. Remember, he brought you here to buy things, so don’t get too anxious about whether or not you can get something. He’ll let you know if you can’t.

Keep your SD involved. Shopping can get boring for SD’s and they don’t want to be made to feel like a walking credit card. So keep him involved! Show him what you try on, ask for opinions, always say thank you! Try to keep it fun for him, and then he’s more likely to want to take you again.

[saccharinebabe]

Shit To Pay Attention To On Dates.

These are small things that, in my opinion, distinguish the sugar from the salt.

Location: Where are you meeting? Is it nice? Does it feel like a place a wealthy and mature man would frequent? Is it perhaps well known or famous?

When you get there: It should go without saying that he should pay for everything. But watch his reactions as you order. Is he cringing when you order something expensive? Is he encouraging you to get whatever you want? Is he rushing the meal or is he taking his time, making sure you’re enjoying the meal?

Form of payment: Try to slyly check out what kind of credit card he’s paying with. Not foolproof, but seeing a well regarded card, like a platinum amex, is a good sign.

How he looks: Think beyond “handsome” because he probably won’t be. What I mean, is does he look hygienic? Do his clothes look good?

Discussion: In my experience, salty dudes shy away from discussing allowances and arrangements. Genuine sugar daddies, however, are quite comfortable discussing terms, and letting you know what they want out of an arrangement.

After the date: I don’t think a cash gift is always necessary after a date, especially when you’ve agreed on a multi-thousand dollar allowance, which you expect on the next date. But he should compensate you for any travel expenses. 

[sugar4life]

Non-glamorous Sugaring Stuff

A list of things that you may not think about when entering the bowl but really should consider.  He will smell. Dog shit breath. Body odor. Stinky balls. Something will smell.

He is married even if he is single. 99% of good SDs are married. So don’t go into the bowl thinking you can get a good, single man to give you lots of money. It likely won’t happen that way. Even if they don’t come right out and say it; they are married. No ring? Married. Doesn’t talk about wife? Married. Seems to travel a lot? Married to a unlucky lady. I find that the unmarried ones tend to be the biggest womanizers, douchebags and assholes. They want a SB out of lazy-ass convenience or lack of social aptitude. Married men want a SB because they don’t get it enough at home or their marriage just isn’t working any longer OR because they do travel a lot and figure why not get some side chick action. Different area codes and such.

He will be old. Very old. And only mildly attractive (if you are lucky). He will be from a different generation. His looks will be fading. He will have at least a few wrinkles (face, balls, legs, back, hands, wherever). There may be a 2-4 generation gap between the two of you. The hot, young, nice, good-hearted, generous types just aren’t trolling the sugar sites regularly and likely aren’t going to be actively searching for an allowance based relationship. You may score a hot, young, rich guy by freestyling but expect to work even harder to get actual money out of him and he will be a boyfriend NOT a SD.

Body hair, everywhere. Older men tend to not be up on the grooming trends of younger men. They will have hairy chests, hairy backs, hairy butts, hairy knuckles, hairy toes, hairy ears, hairy nose holes and so much pubic hair that you won’t be able to see his balls. And don’t even think about suggesting he trim it down or shave. He can’t. His wife will wonder why he suddenly cares about his hairy balls and back. Then he will have to end the arrangement out of fear of his wife finding out.

He has problems. And you have to listen to them. Part Most of being a sugar baby is to be his escape. If he needs to vent about work, the wifey, his kids, his latest doctor visit then you need to sit there and at least pretend to listen/care. That’s the deal. 

You get have to travel with him. I have been to some amazing places with some of my SDs. I get to see the world, stay in beautiful hotels, eat delicious local cuisine and I get paid to do all of it. The only thing that would make it better is if my SD disappeared from the equation and a cute guy appeared or my friends or my family or even a coworker I don’t really like but could still chill on a beach with. Or hell, even if I was there alone it would be better than being stuck with him 24 hours a day, for 4 or 5 days straight PLUS travel time. But I still go because, you know, money and free trips and shit.

You aren’t allowed to have problems. Outside of gently suggesting that you don’t have money for rent or whatever, you don’t have problems. You don’t have friend drama. You don’t have coworkers you hate. You don’t have anxiety. You can only have a “problem” every once in a while and that problem better damn well be able to be fixed with money. He can fix money-based problems without batting an eye but your emotional shit needs to be checked at the door. (Note: When you have been with an SD for a substantial amount of time you can slowly share more of your non-money problems but you have to gauge how much interest he truly has in them to keep him from thinking of you as another wife-type)

He may be very boring. The longer you are around him the less interesting he will seem. There is usually a reason he has to pay women for company. 

He may be the opposite of boring. He will have insane energy and keep you entertained but you should expect to need a day or two to recover from your energy-draining SD.

THE MONEY WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. Starting out you think $3k/mo is enough. After a year, $5k/mo is barely enough. In a few years you will KNOW that even 100k/day isn’t really enough to put up with these guys.

It will be a constant mental struggle between spend and save. Even those of us who save like crazy still have thoughts of “spend spend spend”. You have money. You save it. You have more money than you need to save. But if you keep saving you can buy better things later. But right now that awesome Chanel bag is calling your name. But, no, later is better. Later is a house.

Once you really do become a SB, leaving the life forever will be difficult. Once you get into the groove, the job gets easier because you learn to deal with the negatives and quitting a lucrative, easy job is never easy. Plus, you can technically do this job forever. This can be your career. You can be a kept woman and live a fancy life forever as long as you give up a few other dreams. But right now you must work hard for it.

Your schedule doesn’t REALLY matter. Sure, you schedule around your own activities as much as possible but when push comes to shove you WILL cancel movie night with the girls, call off work, or skip a pool party if it means you can keep your SD around longer.

Tired? Sick? Tough shit. You still need to smile, be flirty and “enjoy” his company. I guarantee HE will show up for dates with a runny nose and a sore back because he only gets a few chances to get away from the wife and there is no way in hell he is missing play time because of the flu. Expect them to expect the same commitment from you.

It is a full time job. I repeat, it is a FULL TIME JOB. Until you have a good number of proven/established/long-term SDs who are surpassing your minimum allowance needs and you are saving like a madwoman, then you can’t really sit back and relax. Since they can leave you at any time you have to keep going on those terrible dates and keep researching new guys. It takes a long time to truly be secure enough in current arrangements to be able to stop doing this completely. Don’t expect to be “that lucky girl” who found a sugar husband after a week of trying. 

The odds are not in your favor. My guess is for every 100 contacts you make on dating sites, 20 of them will actually turn into sugar-potential dates and only 2 of those will become POT material guys and maybe 1 of those will become an SD.

SDs are not built to last. You went on tons of dates, did the legwork, and now are getting your desired allowance from a nice SD. IF he lasts past two months, good. IF he lasts past 4 months, great. IF he actually lasts close to or beyond a year then he really is a good SD and you can consider yourself to be truly lucky. Being with him will be embarrassing, like, all the time. People will stare. They will wonder if he is your lover/boss/father/grandfather. Walking to hotel rooms with him will be awkward as fuck. Every. Single. Time. Oh, and just wait until he wants to hold your hand or kiss you in public. Be prepared to be the center of unwanted attention everywhere you go. But if you can get past all of these things and still manage to find and lockdown a few good SDs, save your money and maintain your sanity then you will be on your way to financial freedom. It takes hard work but so do most good things in life.

[sugaredmocha-deactivated2017122]

36 Questions That Can Make 2 Strangers Fall in Love ♥

In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

[rawsugarcane-blog1]

[okayilubuhbye-deactivated201611]

Bless you, MusicalHoe.

[greyscalesound]

If nothing else, this gives me a list of shit to buy my girl lol

[piercingsandink]

I fucking love this so much 👌👌

[brand-new-brown-sugar]

In case yall forgot

[perfumedsugar]

I should have known better.

I feel like such an idiot.

I wasted my time on a man who promised much and delivered literally nothing.

I’ll move on, of course. But I can’t help but feel naive, stupid, immature, too trusting… Etc.

Never again. If I am going to dedicate myself to this lifestyle (so that I can build my business and ultimately become financially independent), I need to take the advice given by experienced babies to heart. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Men lie. Men cheat. Men steal. MEN ARE PIGS. TAKE THEIR MONEY AND DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD THEY SAY.

[cinquante-nuances-de-moi]

I AM SO FED UP OF GUYS ON SA WHOSE ANNUAL INCOME IS £31K. GTFO.

[sugarbabyella]

I’ve read some guys lie about their income because they don’t want gold diggers (makes me wanna ask them why they joined SA and if they know what a SB is) but yeah, there are lots of guys whose income is low. The problem? Publicity. A few weeks ago I was on my way to university and saw an ad at the subway station. It was “Tired of your stressfull relationships? Join (name of the site) and start dating a sugar baby! Drama free! Just give her gifts!” Like, they’re telling NORMAL guys to join the sugar daddy world. Wtf a REAL sugar daddy doesn’t take the metro lol