There weren’t many girls taking astrophysics as a career. Actually at Liverpool John Moores University there were only two: Lucy and Anne. It was a male dominated field (as any other science) and both of them had to struggle a lot against all the prejudice than even some teachers had. Despise of been in similar conditions, Lucy and Anne were completely different, personality wise. Anne was very social and easy going while Lucy was way more strict. She didn’t liked to mess around with people and she took herself and her study really seriously, basically because her only purpose in life was to be part of a successful research team that could be a contribution to expand the knowledge of cosmos and she didn’t have time for anything that could take her out of that path. That was exactly why meeting Brian May ended turning all her world upside down.
She couldn’t recall the exact date yet one day when she was getting her things ready for the next class she heard a voice behind her
“Hey, are you in physics III right?” She turned and saw a very tall and slim lad smiling at her.
“Uh eh yeah” she felt awkward, he was handsome, he didn’t look like the rest of her classmates.
“Great I thought I have seen you there, I’m Brian by the way and I’m also in that class so I was wondering if you would let me borrow your notes?” he talked in a very polite and calm way and that was rather confusing for her. She was used to rude men looking her down and people dismissing her knowledge in general.
“Mine?” when he moved his head affirmatively she looked into her bag until she found what he was requesting. His smile became bigger
“Thank you so much…” he let the last part of the sentence hanging like a question
“Right! Lucy, you were the one fighting with the teacher the other day?” he looked genuinely curious and not like he was trying to make fun of her
“He was being a prick, trying to minimize the impact women had have on the research of the universe”
“He is indeed a prick, I was mentally supporting you in the fight” he let out a small laugh. His voice was very smooth and something about it made her belly turn in a funny way “Well thanks again, I will return them once I have finished copying them”
“No problem, take your time” she said trying not to blush. She turned to leave and as soon as she spotted her friend she quickly approached her.
“I saw you talking with Brian May”
Anne was so much more into socializing than Lucy and of course, she knew everything about everyone all the time or at least she knew more than Lucy did. University for Lucy was like the jungle, any wrong move could have you sinking on a swamp. Anne was always telling her she needed to relax, that the world was changing and it wasn’t so hard for women anymore. Anne was optimistic about the future while Lucy was skeptical.
“Do you know him?” Lucy tried not to show too much interest
“Not personally, but everyone knows who he is!” Anne made a funny face trying to convey that it was impossible not to be aware of that fact
“Because he has a rock band with a very handsome bloke that’s in odontology and they always play in the pub that’s around the corner, you knew all this if you ever accept my offer to come and have fun for once” Anne knew Lucy was very serious about her studies but she was on a never ending quest to make Lucy to come out for the world as she had put it.
“They play every weekend?” Lucy kept her expression neutral
“Yes I believe so” she replied with a knowing smile.
Brian returned the notes and requested others of another subject, it became a habit until Lucy offered to help him and that’s how they started studying together. They would meet on the library and spend the entire afternoon going through books and endless notes until he would subtlety change the topic of conversation and it would flow from there. Most of time Lucy wouldn’t even notice they weren’t studying anymore, everything was so natural and just right when she was with Brian. She had to remind herself multiple times that he was just a study partner and nothing more despise of what her heart was begging to tell her. Her mindset about being a woman on science had her in an eternal defense mood but with him it was different, he had a particular way of catching her off guard, he didn’t challenged her and he was open to learn from her, she could lowered the walls she had built around herself when he was there.
Sometimes he wouldn’t show up and later he would excuse himself saying that he had rehearsal with his band. She liked when he spoke about them, they sounded like the most bizarre combination to put together in a rock group but he was so passionate about it and saw so much potential on them that she would just nod in agreement.
One Saturday Anne mentioned that Brian’s band was playing at the pub. She also mentioned they were getting ‘big’. Lucy felt curious and asked her if she could go with her to the show, she agreed with the biggest smile Lucy had ever seen.
So there was Lucy trying to look as pretty as possible. She put on a flower dress she hadn’t used in ages and styled her long black hair with a ponytail. In a certain way she felt ridiculous, that wasn’t even her thing. She never wanted to look beautiful for a man before, she just wanted to beat them on math and prove that woman could do value contributions to any field. But there was something about Brian, she couldn’t place her finger on it, he was just… a mystery, he was like the cosmos that was so fascinating for her and she actually wanted to discovered and decipher him too. She could talk hours and hours with him without even getting tired of his presence. He had a deep interest in music but also in subjects like the movement of the particles in stardust, which was an odd combination but that only made her more attracted to him.
“Are you ready?” Anne was so excited about going to the pub; it was the first time that Lucy had accepted to come along.
“I guess” she said looking for the last time in the mirror while Anne took her hand to take her out of the room.
The pub was full of people. Lucy navigated through the crowd to get a drink just when Brian’s band was announced. They stepped out and she was speechless. He looked completely different standing in the scenario with his guitar hanging on his shoulders and the lights dancing around him. Like a real rock star; her breath was taken away for a few seconds. But when they started to play she found very difficult to focus only on Brian since their singer was very charismatic to say at least and he was dancing and performing the songs with his whole body. He was mind blowing.
When the show was over Lucy tried to make her way to the exit but Anne stopped her.
“Are you crazy!? You have to go and say hi to him!” Anne pulled Lucy to the corner where they were having some drinks. Lucy tried to fight her and shouted “no!” multiple times but Anne wasn’t having it. Suddenly she was in front of the whole band but just the blond one turned his head
“Uh can we help you?” He said in a sarcastic tone, suddenly all the blood in her system was running to her face but then Brian looked at her
“Lucy! What a surprise! What are you doing here?” He was smiling in an absolute beautiful way and she felt like she could melt right there
“It’s… the first time I come actually” Lucy tried to sound casual but she failed miserably
“I see, did you saw us play? Did you enjoyed the show?” He moved closer to her, leaving his friends a bit behind
“I did, you are fantastic” he smiled even more with her statement
“Thank you darling” said the singer appearing from Brian’s back “you must be the girl who has been helping Brian in class right? He would be hopeless without your notes”
“This is Freddie” Brian said with a flat tone of voice “and those are John and Roger and as you can see they aren’t only musicians they are also comedians”
“Multiple talents” Freddie winked at Lucy and Brian lifted an eyebrow
“Anyway, why did you decided to come?” Brian focused his attention back at her
“Just came to make company to my friend but seems like I have lost her” She looked around to find Anne but she wasn’t in sight “I guess I will have to comeback alone”
“You are heading to the dorms? Because I can go with you” Brian’s offer took her by surprise
“Oh no no, please don’t bother, it’s ok, I don’t want to ruin your moment with your friends, I can walk alone it’s not far”
“Believe me I spend enough time with them already, let’s go, is not problem”
Lucy walked slowly trying to trying to maximize the time she was spending with Brian. Everything was so easy with him, she couldn’t believe that the guy besides her was the same one that has been on stage playing the guitar an hour ago.
“Don’t you think it’s kind of tragic that the stars we see are already dead?” He was looking up to the sky
“But they are such beautiful corpses!” she said laughing
“Don’t say it like that!” He was laughing too
“And that’s why you write songs?”
“I guess…” He suddenly became serious and for a second Lucy thought she had said something wrong “you think one can manage to have both?”
“What do you mean?” She stopped walking to face him, he looked genuinely worried
“I mean you think one can have a career in science and also one in music? My dad has been bugging me about quitting music, but it makes me happy you know? It’s not like I don’t like astrophysics but music can reach so many people and I believe we have something special in our hands…” from all the talks Lucy had had with him, that was the first time he was addressing his feelings and fears, he always looked so well put together and sure about everything. She was taken aback from his sudden vulnerability and the interested in her opinion about something that seemed private. She wasn’t very sure about the reaction she should have so she just reached his hand and interlocked her fingers with his.
“Brian… I… I think you, especially you, can do both” He looked at her with something different in his eyes and Lucy felt scared, really scared for her true emotions for him. For an instant, she thought he would kiss her, but he didn’t and started to walk again without letting her hand go.
“Thank you for the trust Lucy” She didn’t reply, she couldn’t talk at all and when they finally made it to her dorm she whispered a small ‘thank you for the walk’ and closed the door without even looking at him. She knew she had to control her feelings, he just looked at her as a friend and she couldn’t ruin that with her little crush.
Queen signed with EMI. Lucy couldn’t believe it was actually happening for Brian and the rest of them. Once university was over, she and Anne had found a job in Liverpool’s astrophysics research institute while Brian had dedicated entirely to music. For the most part of their last year, she secretly had hold onto a little hope that he would choose the academic career, that way she could have him close to her forever, but he hadn’t. Still she couldn’t be ungreatful because he was constantly making efforts to keep her on his life despise of how busy he was.
He invited her to every concert they had on England and she had refused every single time, she was running out of excuses and Anne insistently told her to accept before he got bored of being ignored. So when Brian called to invited her once again she finally said yes. She was aware that her feelings for him hadn’t go away, not even for a second, but she couldn’t keep hiding herself from him.