Liv

Just an 18 year old girl on Tumblr. I write poems and stories including fanfics. Documenting my journey to eventual recovery. Don't like, don't follow. Drop an ask if you wanna know anything!

[uncle-knobheads]

Fic authors deserve more credit.

Story time: I started a book about 23 hours ago and just finished it. Also in that time I slept for 10 hours, spent time with family, was at work, etc. Anyway, I enjoyed the book (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda). But it felt like it flew by, so after I finished I looked up the word count because what are pages? Pages are meaningless. I only function in word counts anymore.

The estimate I found was 58,580. My immediate reaction was “oh, that’s why. That’s nothing!” But what a shitty response. Because no. That’s not nothing. That’s a whole. Damn. Book. An entire novel! And Fic authors regularly bust out 30k, 50k, 100k, 150k words. AND THEY DO IT FOR FREE. WHILE WORKING AND LIVING THEIR LIVES.

So anyway, thank your favorite fic author today because they deserve it. Because they’re amazing. They’re the MVPs.

[galadrieljones]

Some rough word count equivalencies for you, via famous novels, just to give you an idea of what OP is saying:

30k fic = Animal Farm by George Orwell

50k fic = The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

75k fic = Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger

100k fic = To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

150k fic = The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien

200k fic = Moby Dick by Herman Melville

250k fic = Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling

300k fic = A Feast for Crows by George RR Martin

350k fic = Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry

400k fic = Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

I WROTE SOMETHING AS LONG AS MOBY DICK AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW

[princesweetpea]

I can’t believe I’ve surpassed Animal Farm.

Holy shit.

[iffeelscouldkill]

This is awesome. With that said, huge appreciation also to fic writers who write shorter fics - 10k, 5k, 1k, 500 words. Because yeah, huge long fics get a lot of love, and a lot of labour goes into them, but the same is true for tiny fics as well. Not everyone is banging out huge great novels, but little ficlets are fantastic and still bring readers a ton of joy.

So if you’re feeling a bit downcast because you can’t write that 50 chapter epic or your latest WIP is “only” 2k and it still took you ages - that’s amazing. Seriously. Not everyone is naturally wordy or prolific. And you can say a ton with just a few hundred or thousand words.

Props to short fic creators - you guys are awesome.

[corancoranthemagicalman]

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe = 38k fic

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory = 30k fic

Of Mice and Men = 30k fic

Breakfast At Tiffany’s = 24k fic

For those writers who discredit themselves because they feel they aren’t writing the novels that others might, you’re still writing a novella, my dears. You’re still putting time, effort, and passion into something. Well done.

(honestly shout out to all fuckin fic writers. You didn’t have to give us shit and still y'all out here living ya best life and doin something you love. Bravo.)

[hectatess]

Damn…. that’s…. eye opening.

[deepthoughtsvibes-deactivated20]

But please still love me when I‘m curled up in bed and crying. Please still love me when I have my bad days. Please still love me when my hair doesn‘t look good and I don‘t feel like putting make up on. Please still love me when I disappoint you. Please still love me when I fail. Please still love me on days when I can’t love myself. Please still love me when I’m not feeling good enough. Just please still love me, forever.

-H.S.

[suicidalandhatingit]

A rant on romanticised mental illness...

I can’t deal with fake people- whether it be fake as in two faced... Or fake as in faking a mental disorder that they are slowly romanticising and desensitising the world to something that literally kills hundreds if not thousands of people every fucking day and they like to parade around their meds and therapy as if they arent entitled enough being white females and being completely ignorant to the fact that some people cant afford them or just simply dont have access because of certain barriers that they could never even imagine seeing because everything has been handed to them on a nice shiny plate.

Makes me sick how they can put effort into their appearances every day and really try 24/7 yet broadcast their ‘mental problems’ yet others struggle to get out of bed every day and are barely managing 2 fucking A Levels despite it being possibly the easiest thing to do just getting out of bed but nope, we struggle. And we dont get help.

[suicidalandhatingit]

One Big Joke

Soon enough I will kill myself. I don’t know how yet...

Maybe by hanging myself? Or overdosing on pills again? Starving to death? I don’t know....

All I do know is that no one takes me seriously when I ‘make jokes’ about suicide.

I do wonder what everyone would say if I actually did it...

Perhaps they’d say “oh, we never knew” or “she seemed so happy”... maybe even “we didn’t see any signs?”

I suppose for now it’s still one big joke that I keep making.

[missblack22]

I can’t do anything fucking right. No wonder you didn’t want me

Via (missblack22)

[dxrk-clouds]

[suicidalandhatingit]

At only 10 minutes old, my cries echoed around a hospital room.

At 4 years old, I was bullied for the first time.

At 9 years old, the bullying got really bad.

At 12 years old, the blade first touched my pale wrists.

At 13 years old, I attempted suicide and hoped to stop living.

At 16 years old, I begged that therapy would find my tired soul.

At 17 years old, I applied for the top University in the country.

At 19 years old, my therapy appointments became a distant memory.

At 21 years old, my boyfriend proposed to me at a restaurant.

At 25 years old, my daughter turned 1 and I was getting married.

At 34 years old, I looked back on 12 year old me and wanted to cry.

[suicidalandhatingit]

Lil poetic rant

No one will ever understand how broken I am.

No one will ever understand how I feel when I wake up every day.

No one will ever understand how alone I feel.

No one will ever understand how badly I want to rip a blade through my skin.

No one will ever understand the nauseating feeling I get when I eat.

No one will ever understand that when I say I don’t understand school, I don't mean just school. I mean life, people, animals, the way the world works.

No one will ever have to live through the pain I have. No one will ever care enough to help me get better.

No one is ever really there....

[suicidalandhatingit]

An Update Or A Rant

I don’t even know where to start. Last time I posted here, I’d just gotten out of my first long term relationship (I’d had partners before but nothing solid). He was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive and it was one of the hardest experiences of my life.

Skip back to the past year and a bit, I’d been in my second long term relationship- also emotionally abusive and manipulative. Obviously this didn’t last.

But looking back, are all my relationships destined to be train wrecks? Am I destined to be treated like shit permanently? And yes I still blame myself for being bruised and scarred (emotionally mainly) but I don’t know what to do.

Therapy isn’t an option but I’m still drowning. Fucking drowning with no one to turn to...

Now I’m getting to know another guy but I’m so scared that he’s going to hurt me too. I have such a low self esteem and lack of care for my own sanity that I feel things aren’t going to work out...

I’m probably going to post more on here now... any suggestions though? They would be helpful..

[xxvictimxx]

#16 Princess

I loved when he called me princess. It made me feel so special. It made me smile every damn time no matter the situation. I loved hearing him say it. It sent shivers down my spine I swear. He’d text me and all it would say was “I love you, princess” and I’d fall in love all over again.

[sadsoul166]

I will answer any question you want

🎀1. How old are you?

🎀2. Do you self harm?

🎀3. Are you a virgin?

🎀4. Are you happy with your body?

🎀5. Do you do any drugs?

🎀6. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

🎀7. Do you drink?

🎀8. How much do you eat?

🎀9. Are you insicure?

🎀10. Do you purge?

🎀11. Are you in a relationship?

🎀12. Do you like helping others?

🎀13. Are you suicidal?

🎀14. Have you ever attempted suicide?

🎀15. Did anyone you know commit suicide?

🎀16. Are you anorexic?

🎀17. What do you think of yourself?

🎀18. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to yourself?

🎀19. What’s the worst thing you have ever done to somebody?

🎀20. When were you born?

🎀21. Do you have a lot of friends?

🎀22. How many followers do you have on Tumblr?

🎀23. What is your favourite thinspo account?

🎀24. How often do you binge?

🎀25. Favourite musician?

🎀26. Favourite song?

🎀27. Are you LGBTQ+

🎀28. Have you ever cheated on your partner?

🎀29. Did you ever steal something?

🎀30. Are you jealous of someone who has less weight than you?

😊💕send a number and I will answer💕😊

[wishingto-disappear]

send me a number pleaseee, i don’t want to study for exams

[l4422l-deactivated20180412]

please don’t come closer, unless you’re planning to stay

[dailypsychologyfacts]

14 Ways to Tell if Someone is Suicidal | psych2go

If you feel this is an important topic, could you help share?

[demon-of-sparkles]

THIS NEEDS MORE NOTES AND REBLOGS

[reptilianwavves-blog]

Reblog. gogogogo

[suicidalandhatingit]

-Original edit💯

[suicidalandhatingit]

I see them having fun without me, and then I realised that no one actually needs me to have fun...

- Liv Thomas (via @suicidalandhatingit)

[traumathoughts]

[heruin]

i think almost is the saddest word there could be. “i almost kissed her” “we almost made it through” “it almost happened” its a word used when you expect a certain thing to happen, but life turns into another direction, and you’re just stuck there wishing.

Maa (via sixtyy-two)