Only a fool could be in love with death

[yawnralphio-archive]

fun date idea: pay for my tattoo

[beaujes]

ghostbusters are always like who are you gunna call? ghostbusters! but it’s hard enough to call the doctor’s office i’m not gunna call the ghostbusters i’d just live with a ghost in my house forever

[beaujes]

who you gunna call? no one i have anxiety

[slimetony]

[sarahshahipls]

I’m not sure what kind of luck the $115 frozen pizza badger is supposed to bring but I’m not taking any chances

[maliciar]

[ace-anonymous]

[certasluas]

[hijerking]

babies playing with pets scare me

please don’t hurt the pupper, you Little Screaming Shit Machine™

[thatattoozone-deactivated201710]

@ brevtel

[tattoos-and-modifications]

[centronorth]

[thatattoozone-deactivated201710]

[lifeisabowlofbullshit]

[nancycunard]

so no one told you life was gonna be this way 👏👏👏👏 your jobs a joke you’re broke the pm is theresa may

[the-busy-ghost]

“This government has provided certainty and stability”

That is literally the most noticeable major thing this government HAS. NOT. DONE????????

[mabylc]

me: not today, satan 

satan: you’ve been canceling our plans for weeks now. if it’s something i said, please just tell me

[xueyangapologist]

i envy people who have dreams with clear rational plots like “i was on my favourite tv show for a day” my dreams are like i’m in a diner and i’m pregnant. i leave the diner and i’m in a forest watching the pregnant woman who is no longer me. she turns around and now we’re in a jeep and she’s my dad. we’re listening to music which is somehow numbers. he asks if i remember the time we went to pakistan and i say yeah because i do. i wake up and remember i’ve never been to pakistan in my life.

[jeanncoffee]