[splintes-deactivated20210922]

being the unattractive friend is not easy i don’t think we get enough credit

[grownthot]

fax. like when someone talks to your attractive friend you gotta chill back in the corner. wit our ugly ass

[viinnttaaggee]

alright ladies its time to “omg i’m so cold feel my hands” your way into a relationship season

[egglands-worst]

oh no 

[jelloandclaws]

If you say this then hold their hand, it flirt

If you say this then immediately shove your cold hand on their face and/or neck, that's goblin best friend behaviour

[egberts]

“short people stick together” how about we stack together. if enough of us unite we can be the ultimate tall person

[megurashkarchived]

i am so gentle and kind hearted

[megurashkarchived]

and stupid

[oamisoa-deactivated20160323]

I love it when people tell me about me because I have no idea who I am

[saltasaurus-rex-blog]

I love when people say “i really like that thing you do, you know when you (insert thing)” and you had no idea that is something you do. I also love it when people know more about you than you do. I get really excited.

[lesbiantahani]

women b loving SWORDS and KNIVES but also maybe a cute girl to hold them at night 

[logarto]

casual intimacy kills me every time. grand gestures are cute and all but seeing two people who are just totally comfortable with having each other in their space, who dont think twice about leaning into each other and thoughtlessly holding each other while doing unrelated things….. thats love

[essence-of-armbarring]

you ever just like “wow that’s my voice? people listen to this clown on a daily basis?”

[annabellioncourt]

Hades: babe what’s wrong?

Persephone, drunk, scratching two of cerberus’ heads, weeping: I don’t have enough hands

[peregrinelight]

y’all: my love language is ‘words of affirmation’!

me, an intellectual: praise kink

[peregrinelight]

i see y'all liking this but not reblogging y'all are COWARDS

[secretlesbiancommunication]

Gay culture is being lonely and touch starved

[trans-girl-waiting]

If you’ve ever said “she’s too tall” you’re an absolute coward lol

[trans-girl-waiting]

I’m so about how popular this post is, tall girls are so good

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess

[anachronistic-cat]

… can i use that phrase irl?

[probablyvampirerpgideas]

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

[the-argumentative-viper]

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

[nuttersincorporated]

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

[fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan]

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

[take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool]

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

[bardbreakfast]

Reading these is like literary whiplash

[rezulux-deactivated20180525]

im gay

gratefully accepting your donations to me via paypal

[mens-rights-activia]

[livorwort]

psychic *reads my mind*

Me;

[mens-rights-activia]

Someone approached me irl yesterday and mentioned this video and I got so flustered because I can’t believe people remember me most by my 3 am fever dream wow

[shinhito]

This video enters my consciousness at the worst possible times.

Boss: *Asks me an important question which requires a delicate and thoughtful response*

My Brain: …Anemone, an enemy anemone, Anne, Nemo, and another me.

[sawsbvck]

primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….

[sawsbvck]

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yeah

[studip]

*comes over to your house* *eats all your food* *leaves*