Here is a bit of writing about my experiences as an alterhuman.
Main Type: Canine-Clado & coyote
Some of the more common things I experience in this body would like similar to others, be dysphoria. I feel it towards a lot of my being but some on the main things that are a constant reminder would be my Head and Mouth: I experience what I call phantom skull, I feel my snout protruding out of my face, the mouth and nose structure feels like one of a canine. I envy ever so badly the teeth I could have, my mouth does not extend as far as I’d wish. I cannot pick up the back of deer skulls, balls, sticks, or take chunks of dirt out of the earth with my maw, no one can grab my muzzle and shake it tauntingly. Though I don’t think it’d look pretty, It would be euphoric to cut slits in my cheeks- letting my mouth expose my molars when open, allowing me to put things farther back in my mouth than my cheeks allow now. I often find myself ‘snarling’ when annoyed or irritated, my lip lifting with a twitch that corners my nose. I see one of my close friends do the same things when he’s mad subconsciously and like to think he feels the same way, (I’m aware he doesn’t.) It’s barely visible when not looking for it which makes me more irritated, I wish others would notice it and be at the least slightly intimidated or see my frustrated warning. Another thing that isn’t too much of a bother but can be aggravating would be my Legs: I feel like I would be so much more balanced and capable if my foot was longer, everything else stays the same length besides the body of my foot. Double it in length and make my toes slightly bigger/longer for support and it would be perfect. Surely it wouldn’t look human, but rather give a more digigrade look and feeling I crave every so badly. Walking on the ends of my feet would make me more agile, stealthier, overall more comfortable.
I’m a very territorial being, I get very easily irritated when people mess with what is mine. I don’t like when people touch my food or plate/eat too close to me unless I initiate it first, I don’t like when people touch the stuff in my room, or go in while I’m gone and I notice someone’s been in there. I’m very particular about smells, everything in my room should smell like me unless I make it otherwise. The people around me should also smell like themselves, it throws me off when someone is wearing another person's clothes, or they have a large change in the scent they wear. If someone I let into my pack smells like someone or something I’m unfamiliar with it’s just really unusual, not that it aggravates me much, it’s kinda just like ‘why would you do that??.’ Type of thing. Going back to my territorial thing, I will protect what’s mine with all of myself, whether it’s an object or a friend. I feel like I’m always butting heads with my grandpa's dog Chia. She’s a good dog, we rough play and howl together, but the main issue is when he comes home. He doesn’t like cats and so he taught her that whenever he is around that Chia can chase off and stomp on any cat in the area to make sure it’s out of his sight, he swears he never taught her that and it’s just ‘instinct’ but my father has seen him send the dog after stray cats before, and she only acts up when he’s home, or she thinks he’s coming home. I do not tolerate that behavior, she’ll chase my cat and practically step on her until she’s up the stairs or hidden under the couch- my Nana yells at her but there’s nothing she can do really. I am constantly letting Chia know that I do not accept that behavior, I growl and place myself above her, often at her level I make sure I block her path and place my head slightly above her own, grabbing her collar at times and redirecting her. She knows to tread lightly when she attempts stunts like that around me, if I catch her doing it she often gives me a tense tail wag and avoids eye contact before trotting off to lay down. I understand prey drive and the thrill of chase, I struggle with it a lot- and I’ll talk about that later. So I don’t blame her for what she does, it’s what she was taught and she’s just trying to please her owner, she has pent up energy due to being inside all of the time. She was supposed to be a working dog, not trapped in a house. But we, (the dog, me, and grandpa) butt heads so much that even if tried to make sure she was properly enriched I wouldn’t be allowed by gramps. (Chia dog and gramps are moving out soon 🙏)
I have avoided talking about my prey drive for years, seeing it being bashed on TikTok or instagram- ‘Oh prey drive is normal, but if you have more than this much of it you need to get that checked out,’ ... ‘Prey drive shouldn’t be something you have to push out of your mind.’ I understand it’s uncomfortable to talk about, no one wants to talk about having this often violent feeling. But I’m a wild animal, it’s something I crave and cannot just rid myself of. I would never go out of my way to kill a bird or a rabbit, but I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t cross my mind whenever I’m in the woods and see something move. Because it absolutely does, I love the feeling. I’ll sit in the brush and wait until it gets close enough so that I can imagine jumping out at it and wrapping my sharp wide jaws around it, even visualizing it is stimulating to me. My sister has a pet rabbit, I watch if sometimes. Rabbits are cute but ironically im scared of it. He hates me. One time I was cleaning his enclosure while my sister was away and he was upset and tried to bite me, I was not calm like I should have been. I freaked out and snarled as I threw myself back hitting my head off the top of the enclosure. We have had beef since. But I would never go out of my way to hurt him, only watch from afar.
Anywho... thats it for now and I hope some people can relate to atleast a bit of this.
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