Okay, Swamp, I'm All Ears

humor + fandoms + bands + edits and a lot of random shit MASTERLIST Vaya | 25 | she/her my lotr/th side blog: entishramblings

[sundustingdryads]

NAVIGATION & INFORMATION

Vaya || 25 || she/her

LOTR/TH side blog: @entishramblings​

➔ LINKS

★ TOLKIEN MASTERLIST

★ AO3

★ WATTPAD

★ PHOTO-EDITS

➔ MY BLOGS:

tolkien: @entishramblings

aesthetic/vibes: @shadowanderers

winx club: @thedragonsflame

writers: @writersarchives

fanfic confessions: @fanficonfessions

fanfic recs: @tolkienfanficrecs​

➔ CURRENT HYPERFIXATION(S)

Tolkien (always) - @entishramblings​

➔ ALL FANDOMS:

Supernatural

The Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

The Witcher

The Last Kingdom

Game of Thrones

Teen Wolf

Merlin

Lost Girl

Avatar: ALTA + LOK

Sherlock

Pirates of the Caribbean

Charmed

H2O just add water

White Collar

Criminal Minds

Percy Jackson

Sword Art Online (SAO)

Winx Club

Poldark

Marvel

MCR

Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit (side blog: @entishramblings ) — I write fanfics for this fandom: check out my MASTERLIST

I also post anything that I find slightly amusing

[toroidalearthtruther]

fuck, man, the fog's been trying to contact me all day. I just turned my phone on and it says I've had a bunch of mist calls

[boghermit]

Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplastics 

[hollowistheworld]

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

[perhats]

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[rizaoftheowls]

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

[ceruleanheaven]

honestly given my parents whole [gestures vaguely] i am actually incredibly well adjusted

[snlthw]

[hollowistheworld]

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[nrrlblr]

Printing this and hanging it up in the laundry room ☺

[ralsbecket]

tumblr has taught me more about real life than real life ever has

[castielsconsultingdetective]

did i just learn a second language

[ikatakojas]

I’ve been waiting for this for ages.

[margaera]

Geralt & Jaskier: a summary

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

penguins vs giant petrel

[landcrow]

[zerotian]

it's disorienting when you beat me with a shovel

[exhuastedpigeon]

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[picascribit]

There are 2 types of fanfic:

fanfic that I like

fanfic that is none of my business

[evvergreen]

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister