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sunfordaysmoonfornights

“There are two types of tired I suppose; One is a dire need of sleep, and one is a dire need of peace”

—

sunfordaysmoonfornights

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sunfordaysmoonfornights

28.07.2018 ; a usual gloomy day

7:08PM and it’s too early to be kind of emotional. lol. my phone is broken and it won’t open. it’s been like this for about a month now. earlier i noticed that its screen is kinda loose. maybe because of the battery. sucks. i just had it 3yrs ago and i think it’s too early for me to say goodbye to that. what i did, i gave up trying to open it so i just kept in my cabinet along with its charger and my powerbank.

anyway…i’m on my laptop for about a couple of hours now just listening to old school music. watching old music videos of spice girls, michael learns to rock, air supply and more. actually, this is what the post is all about. watching those makes me miss my papang. i learned everything about them and their music. all thanks to him. i feel so proud that i get to adopt his love for music. he was literally there for me altroughout my childhood years. i was so close to him than i was to my parents back then. maybe because i was his first grandchild. okay, going back. we used to jam to their songs back then. he literally has a big cabinet full of CD binders, VHS, DVDs, movies, speakers…everything! and i used to have a concert in our living room (i’m the only kid in the family during that time) the corners of the ceiling has a big speakers and we have a really big mirror (like the one you see in a dance studio) literally everwhere you go there’s a speaker.from international singers, artists, bands, rappers to locals like siakol, andrew e’s banyo queen, michael v’s sinaktan mo ang puso ko, rivermaya’s ulan. eheads’ tindahan ni aling nena and toyang aaaaahhhh omygahd the memories are still fresh. <<<333

i had so much memories of him that i’ll forever treasure. thank you papang for the good times. i’ve learned how to “rock ‘n roll” at such a young age. thank you for taking care of me when i was sick. thank you for building a tiny house at the top of your house even before your daughters started to build their own family. “advance ka mag isip”. because of that we got to share memories and bond more together with ate ruffa and kuya rj. thank you for allowing me to go to your rides with them as well even i was still such a smol bean. thank you for filling your “ref” (not a ref but a cabinet but that’s how we used to call it) with food, snacks and most especially a lot of Cali. (yes. that drink) i feel so cool back then ‘cos i thought it was an alcoholic drink. and masarap na ka partner n’on eh mani. i hope someday we will get to see each other again. i miss you, pang. all the creativity i have today, the love for music, it was all because of you. i hope you’re happy and you’re feeling no more. please look for us always. i bet you’re enjoying riding your big bike or playing tamiya just like the old times. or maybe planting trees cos you have green thumb? or just creating something out nothing just like how you also made your own pool (billiard like), scooter and a “trayk”? how i wish you’re still here with us :( we’ll see you again okay? but not to soon, pang. hahaha. i have yet to fulfill my dreams for this family. hihi.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH, PANG. LOVE YOU ALWAYS. <3

sunfordaysmoonfornights

ha! why am i tearing up over my own writing

bei-b

Mingyu: *does anything* SVT: *must tease lovingly* SVT: *happyTEEN*

facethesuns

living his best life fr

i wonder what really is my purpose here 💭

kitkatpancakestack

unavoidable that you will be the villain in someone else's story. You will be painted in an unfavorable light. You will be the irredeemable one. and all of this will happen despite how nice you might usually be or how kind or how respectful or how warm. and you will just have to move on.

sluttywonwoo

Whatever you say, beautiful

despondentbeauty

It’s okay to still get sad about something you thought you’ve healed from.

s3veneyedlamb

7.24.22 thoughts and realizations

today, i was slapped with reality

of how things went wrong

whose at fault or who should be held accountable

it all started with me

all the reasons were perfectly pointed at me

i was the main culprit as to why we were all ruined

it was almost the midnight of the last day of 2021

i have become a petty little freak for getting mad at something so trivial

for being annoyed in taking care of someone who is not around here anymore— it was my fault all along

i ruined everyone's day to start the year

since then, all the important events up until the recent has been ruined

getting sick after eating out and having not to celebrate two of important events in january

ruined some electrical appliances and almost died

getting called out for it and bitched back

another celebration was canceled

a death of a loved one

it was all because of me

it all started with me

funny how i easily accepted it and realized

oh yeah, that was me all along

since it all started at me, it should end with me too, right?

that's fine

i'm not afraid with my own death anymore

i'm not even with getting terminal or any deadly diseases either

if i die, i die

i want to go next already

people around me should not feel the same thing ever again because of me

so this, i beg, let me be the next one to go

kickaz

I wish my fellow women not a happy women's day but the hope that one day our rights will be respected and the promise that I will fight for it every day of my life.

This isn't a festive day, it's a day to remember our sisters who've faced oppression and been murdered because of it. To remember that our fight isn't over, to acknowledge the progress the ones before us made and that we are enjoying, and to keep fighting so future women won't have to face what we do.