wintersoul

26 | a morbid longing for the picturesque at all cost

[sunkissedstarlit]

"I am nothing in my soul if not obsessive"

Richard Papen, somewhere in Hampden College, Vermont

[apolloniansorrow]

and actually one more thing i do NOT think that henrymilla were the picture perfect happy couple outcome and maybe they were the healthiest but they weren’t healthy.

i think sometimes about how francis says camilla led henry on for some time, and while i dont think what francis says in that scene should be taken at face value (he’s clearly pissed off at charles, and clearly unhappy with their dynamic and how it affects HIM), i do think there’s some merit in that which leads me to wonder WHY she suddenly decided she wanted henry.

and in part i think it was borne of a mutual understanding of each other, i mean she’s described to be so like henry in many ways, but it would also be incredibly interesting to explore the fact that their relationship seems to blossom at a time when both of their closest relationships (bunny/charles) seem to falter in some way. and maybe there’s some aspect of falling to each other because they don’t know what to do about that. how the only other people that understood them better than anyone else have turned out to not be good for them.

and how they manage that grief not in actually managing it but in finding comfort in each other and that eventually blooms into love. and i NEED to explore that more actually

[sunkissedstarlit]

Petition for donna tartt to give us 5 versions of TSH, one from each character's pov so that I can finally rest in peace and not live a life of "what ifs" 😭

[apolloniansorrow]

and actually one more thing i do NOT think that henrymilla were the picture perfect happy couple outcome and maybe they were the healthiest but they weren’t healthy.

i think sometimes about how francis says camilla led henry on for some time, and while i dont think what francis says in that scene should be taken at face value (he’s clearly pissed off at charles, and clearly unhappy with their dynamic and how it affects HIM), i do think there’s some merit in that which leads me to wonder WHY she suddenly decided she wanted henry.

and in part i think it was borne of a mutual understanding of each other, i mean she’s described to be so like henry in many ways, but it would also be incredibly interesting to explore the fact that their relationship seems to blossom at a time when both of their closest relationships (bunny/charles) seem to falter in some way. and maybe there’s some aspect of falling to each other because they don’t know what to do about that. how the only other people that understood them better than anyone else have turned out to not be good for them.

and how they manage that grief not in actually managing it but in finding comfort in each other and that eventually blooms into love. and i NEED to explore that more actually

[chemerges]

[nox-lucida]

THE AIR IS GETTING HOTTER I DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD ON MUCH LONGER....

[sunkissedstarlit]

"The air is getting hotter, and bunny had been dead for week"

Richard if bunny was killed in july

[picturesque-atall-costs]

the secret history would only work as a film adaptation if its a 2 season limited series with hour long episodes and the last episode of the first season ends with bunnys death

[moonlitsuguru]

i’m obsessed with taking these originally heterosexual hand size difference photos and imagining them as winterpapen. They have me freeaaakkkeddd someone see my vision

[lost-pumpkin-pie]

"To be or not to be that is the questi-"

No, the real question is what the fuck did Henry say to Camilla

[cuppydogshane]

MESSAGE TO ALL SICKOS: LIVE FOREVER

[apolloniansorrow]

julian in that first class discussion

[sunkissedstarlit]

Judy Poovey and Camilla Macaulay in their apartment in New York, circa 1989.

[nox-lucida]

*nonchalantly has a mental breakdown at 3 am*

[sunkissedstarlit]

"Richard...?"

"Charles."

12 years, since Richard Papen saw his friend Charles Macaulay. A lot changed since that fateful day in that hotel room.

Charles is sober now. Has been for sometime. So he wrote a letter to the one person he always considered a friend. Henry was a self serving bastard. Bunny, a moocher. Francis well..that was a can of worms he didnt want to open. Camilla...he was still not brave enough to face. That left Richard. And something about Richard always made Charles trust him. At the police station, in the big snail.

And Richard, proved him right. Everytime.

So here he was, standing outside Charles' apartment. He had knocked thrice on the door, but there was no movement or sign that someone was there on the other side. He turned to go back, when Charles opened the door.

"Richard..?"

"Charles."

"You came..."

"You called."

Charles threw his arms around Richard, wrapping them around him, pouring everything he wanted to say, every emotion he was feeling in the moment, gratitude, longing, sadness he has felt all these years over losing him, into that embrace.

And Richard hugged him back. The same feeling of longing that haf settled in his heart, all these years..finally found a release.

[nox-lucida]

The reason why I am still alive?

well...It is to be a pretentious bastard of course <3

[samlovesjake]

I aspire to be henry winter (without the sociopathic shit)

[nox-lucida]

With the sociopathic shit minus murder shit

[under-a-thousand-stars]

maybe i'm a little sleep deprived rn but i was listening to angels by adrianne lenker and it's giving me camilla vibes??? especially like epilogue camilla??

like:

Anyway the weather blows, home is where I find you With the ache inside to ride the mighty wind and nothing more Oh, I just wanna see you there, sleeping on my floor

loving someone and also hating them and thinking that home is a person not a place. wanting to be with someone again but also knowing that you will never be together again like you used to. blaming yourself for it on the bad days.

I don't really like you, I just wanna kiss you I don't know how to love you, but some days I miss you

camilla still loving and missing henry. still loving him after he died. camilla still loving and missing charles. still loving him no matter how he hurt her.

I'm calling on angels now I want them to set me free

I hope that they're real, 'cause sometimes it feels Like nobody's listening

the twins being raised catholic. camilla wanting to have something to turn to, but feeling that everything's so empty. empty promises? feeling disconnected from her childhood faith but still going to church on ash wednesday. just... camilla and catholic grief.

And the moon and the sun and the stars shine bright and high And I can't help but wonder the way that the world goes by

I'm not sure if they're real, but I'll wait for them 'till I die

camilla just... being alone at the end of the book? just sitting in her family home. explicitly telling richard how she never has time to read anymore, how she never spends time with anyone her own age. this from the girl who was always restless, constantly wanting to do something. the girl who would slip off to read by herself. the girl who used to be part of a unit of six, then part of a pair. and all of that is torn away and now she is entirely alone.

[nox-lucida]

Technically Henry wasn't faulty because what killed Bunny wan't him it was gravity

[sunkissedstarlit]

Richard Papen in his room at 2 am speaking to himself

[picturesque-atall-costs]

can i talk about how i dont think henry was trying to kill charles in the traditional sense? can i talk about how he was probably just setting charles up to do it himself? the pills, lending his car to a clearly drunk charles after a fight, giving him MORE alcohol after he was in the hospital due to it???