Do Not Miss Me, As I Never Went Too Far Away

10 years of directed, magnified brainrot

[smeared1992]

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

[homunculus-argument]

There's this one specific interaction on reddit that I wouldn't call "infamous" but I also know that everyone who knows it knows it by the punchline, so in order to not ruin it for the ones who haven't, I'm just going to talk all of you through it as I'm saying this.

The beauty of it is that you could place that exact same dialogue into any time and place in human history and it would make just as much sense, you could have it as a conversation between sailors in a 1600s ship, a group of bronze-age warriors cleaning their weapons, stone age hunters walking home from a hunt, or a bunch of 21st century redditors on the internet, and it would hit just as splendidly.

There was this conversation about if you could have sex with any specific person from any time through human history, which one would you choose? Famous legendary lovers were brought up, queens, emperors and such were popular, might as well fuck Rasputin just to see what the hype was all about, the kind of answers one would expect.

Then some guy said he would choose his own late wife. He went on to talk about how brutal it is, that you might find the love of your life, but there's no promise that this life couldn't be suddenly cut short. That his body aches for hers and how there isn't much he wouldn't do for one more opportunity to make love to her one last time.

Now, I'd like you to imagine a pause in the conversation. A solemn, contemplative moment of silence, with several of the people present nodding in agreement that this is indeed the finest answer - it wasn't a competition, but there's no doing better than that.

And then someone breaks this solemn silence and says:

"I also choose this guy's dead wife."

[energyprison]

ive been going out late at night alone to wander about until i find somewhere to spend money needlessly. which i think is a classic sign of a positive mental state

[energyprison]

[crossing a dark streetwhile the red hand is up] im like a bomblebee of the night...

[helenvaughans]

[punkrock-bottom]

If you stay up late to hang out with friends I don’t think you should have to be tired in the morning. I think it should be a freebie

[homunculus-argument]

One big element of millenial adulthood is that when people hear the news that someone actually got a solid job in the field they got a degree in, people respond the same way as folks a generation ago used to respond to the news of someone having a baby after trying for years. Genuinely awed "holy shit no way, that's amazing, congratulations!" because that's some incredible, life-changing shit.

Nobody knows how you respond to the news of someone you know having a long-wanted baby, because nobody in their right mind is having kids on purpose.

[livearound]

tweets i think about regularly

[sobcat]

tomorrow I'll do the possible

[organell]

[strawberryblondebutch]

[scramratz]

[byjove]

ohhhh now I understand why the German exchange student I met in high school was enjoying North Carolina so wholeheartedly

[demonspawnwriter]

I used to think enemies to lovers was my favourite dynamic, but after looking at my ships I can confidently say that friends who have no boundaries, are completely obsessed with each other, are basically already dating, will let the world burn down for the other, and are too clueless to realize they’re in love to actually still just friend because by the time they realized their feelings one of them has moved on/died is my favourite dynamic

[mrsblaileen]

I think people sometimes have differing opinions about what “shipping” entails… like if I ship characters it’s not that I necessarily think they should have been canon or in a relationship or anything, it’s just that I think their dynamic is interesting to explore and I also want to see them kiss a lil

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[voidsucre]

happy comic day here's mine

[i-am-a-fish]

you're cute as a button dude. a button

[vitariesocks]

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

[vitariesocks]

2 pics. no caption