The Right Fit
pairing: xie lian x hua cheng
genre: fluff, college au
word count: 1072
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“don’t let go,” he tells me as if holding my hand like lovers do is how strangers hold hands too— which we are. we’re strangers.
“you can call me Xie Lian. and, between the two of us, you’re the only one wearing a blindfold. so don’t let go.” i give him a reluctant nod, my voice suddenly MIA as i realize how stupid i must’ve looked this whole time.
i knew it. i never should’ve gone to this damn initiation, or joined this org.
Xie Lian is patient, leading me around wherever the seniors would take us. his hand is soft, and his grip firm. i’d feel him squeeze my hand every now and then, especially when he's trying to guide me with my steps.
“careful!”
“step to your left!”
“hold on to me!”
“slow down!”
and i follow him like an obedient puppy, my hand on his the whole time. i’ve always been pretty picky with people’s hands touching mine— they’re always not the right temperature and can sometimes feel too hot on my cold ones.
it’s just the right fit, i think to myself. why aren’t many people’s hands like this?
- - - -
“so, you're Hua Cheng?” he asks me as soon as we sit on the grass, a faint scent of lavender in the sun’s strong smell. the initiation is finally nearing its end, so the seniors let us rest for a bit.
“y-yeah… and you’re… Xie Lian…?” i don’t like how i sound, but i am always quite timid.
my blindfold is still on, and it’s a bit unfair that Xie Lian gets to see me while i still have a question mark where his face should be.
he gives a light squeeze on my hand, a reminder that it’s still holding mine. my heart skips a bit whenever he does this and i mentally hope he doesn’t hear how fast it drums through my chest. “you look familiar. what class are you in?”
of course, an icebreaker. there’s no way anyone would think i’m ‘familiar’, i think to myself.
“i’m… an irregular student…” i mumble my reply, a bit embarrassed. i repeat it afterward, thinking he probably didn’t hear me well as my voice is drowned out by other students chattering.
in a university with a block section setup, i’m one of those who don’t belong— coming in class unnoticed and leaving early like a ghost.
i don’t hear his response, but i can imagine him nod at that. i wonder if he didn’t know what to say, or the chatter just got too loud for him to continue our conversation like this…
“hey, i think you can take your blindfold off now.” upon saying this, he lets go of my hand so i can untie the red scarf that had covered my eyes for the past two hours.
the light is blinding, and i blink a few times to adjust my vision to my surroundings.
then i see him— Xie Lian.
i see him even before i see the tree he was leaning on, and the figures of his classmates sitting close to us.
i look at him, stunned, as i try to search for my voice.
speak! speak, damn it! he'll think you’re weird…
it’s a face i’ve seen before. a slim face framed with thin gold-rimmed glasses, a smile that puffs his cheeks and squints his eyes. i’d recognize him anywhere— someone that always sat at the very front of class, with no fear of the professor who gave failing grades to students for a living.
“your name… is Xie Lian…” i say, more to myself as i continue to stare in awe.
i can’t believe i’m only learning his name now, when i’ve seen him so many times.
“i knew it! i had a feeling you were familiar, but now that you’ve taken your blindfold off, i can clearly see your butterfly earrings now. we share the same Calculus class, don’t we?” he beams, clearly pleased to have recognized me— and my earrings, at that. earrings that i’ve gotten out of impulse when i got stood up by my friends at the mall.
it seems so ridiculous that he needed to see them to confirm it was me. i’ve always had my hair down and over my ears. how could he even notice it?
but, still, i feel… so pleased… that he recognized me— a shadow that always sat at the very back of the class, a ghost that always felt unnoticed.
and, he recognized me.
“you… know my earrings…?” i finally ask, curious as to why that seems so significant in recognizing me.
“of course!” i watch his hands clasp mine, his eyes glimmering with borrowed sunlight. “i didn’t see who it was that handed me their sci-cal in our midterm exam in Calculus, but i did catch a glimpse of those earrings when you turned away to leave. you helped me big time, you know that?”
i blush as the memory sinks in. it was fleeting, something i never dwelled on too much.
to be fair, i hadn’t even realized it was him. i just saw a classmate struggling without a sci-cal, figured they must’ve forgotten to bring it, and thought it was useless to have mine when i didn’t pay attention to the formulas anyway.
“that was you?” i feel so ashamed, looking away. how could i not realize that was him?
but he just smiles, tilting his head to meet my eyes, “i never got to thank you.”
i give him a candy that i’ve been holding onto for the rest of the initiation. we were told to give it to someone we like, and i tell him ‘thank you’.
and for his gratitude, he offered to tutor me in Calculus for free. asked for my socials, and told me to send him my schedule so he can fit his with mine. like how our hands did.
i shake my head— what am i thinking?
when we said our goodbyes, i left before i could watch him go— something that developed into a habit.
but i can’t help but look forward to Calculus, all of a sudden. maybe, stay behind for a few more minutes after class… i mean, would it be so bad?
we’re no longer strangers, i know his name and he knows mine. but, still, would it be too much if i held his hand like strangers don’t?
