Jordan, he/him, 32. follows from: cabeswatercowboy. NSFW/SPOILERS posted here--but will be tagged. Jeremy Knox makes me emotional, and Neil Josten inspires me to be a menace. 🫶
I'm gonna start moving all my @sunshinecapt11 posts HERE. Close that account.
COURTESY REMINDER:
⚠️ I'm 32, American, ADULT SPACE, NSFW friendly, NSFW positive, and WILL be posting proper NSFW again more regularly (including my OWN cosplay lewds, 'cus I'm SPICY again.) ⚠️
I love my tags and will do my best to post, responsibly.
YOUR PART:
1.) Blacklist stuff you don't wanna see
2.) Unfollow if you don't want to follow me anymore.
3.) Block me if you don't want to see my stuff AT ALL. That's fine! Take care of yourself first. 💖 Just let me have fun in a space I am creating for myself.
All are welcome to join (as long as you're a legal adult, wherever you live right now), but shit-stirrers will be blocked, reported, *and* reported to YOUR LOCAL law enforcement, if necessary!
I'm an adult in fandom, and I want to make a safe and kind space. But fuck around and find out. 💖
I'll do a final post before I go inactive on here. But I'll leave this blog up for a bit, for people to find me later.
All are welcome to follow me on @cabeswatercowboy but PLEASE ⚠️ be aware ⚠️, it IS: mixed fandoms, multiships, spoilers, NSFW, and some personal cosplay AND cosplay lewds, because I'm spicy. I tag as dilligently as I can, but I do make mistakes. So, make the best choice for yourself as long as you're a legal adult, wherever you live. 💖
If you're a minor, you're welcome to follow when you're of legal age. 💖
I'm gonna start moving all my @sunshinecapt11 posts HERE. Close that account.
COURTESY REMINDER:
⚠️ I'm 32, American, ADULT SPACE, NSFW friendly, NSFW positive, and WILL be posting proper NSFW again more regularly (including my OWN cosplay lewds, 'cus I'm SPICY again.) ⚠️
I love my tags and will do my best to post, responsibly.
YOUR PART:
1.) Blacklist stuff you don't wanna see
2.) Unfollow if you don't want to follow me anymore.
3.) Block me if you don't want to see my stuff AT ALL. That's fine! Take care of yourself first. 💖 Just let me have fun in a space I am creating for myself.
All are welcome to join (as long as you're a legal adult, wherever you live right now), but shit-stirrers will be blocked, reported, *and* reported to YOUR LOCAL law enforcement, if necessary!
I'm an adult in fandom, and I want to make a safe and kind space. But fuck around and find out. 💖
I'm gonna start moving all my @sunshinecapt11 posts HERE. Close that account.
COURTESY REMINDER:
⚠️ I'm 32, American, ADULT SPACE, NSFW friendly, NSFW positive, and WILL be posting proper NSFW again more regularly (including my OWN cosplay lewds, 'cus I'm SPICY again.) ⚠️
I love my tags and will do my best to post, responsibly.
YOUR PART:
1.) Blacklist stuff you don't wanna see
2.) Unfollow if you don't want to follow me anymore.
3.) Block me if you don't want to see my stuff AT ALL. That's fine! Take care of yourself first. 💖 Just let me have fun in a space I am creating for myself.
All are welcome to join (as long as you're a legal adult, wherever you live right now), but shit-stirrers will be blocked, reported, *and* reported to YOUR LOCAL law enforcement, if necessary!
I'm an adult in fandom, and I want to make a safe and kind space. But fuck around and find out. 💖
I'm gonna start moving all my @sunshinecapt11 posts HERE. Close that account.
COURTESY REMINDER:
⚠️ I'm 32, American, ADULT SPACE, NSFW friendly, NSFW positive, and WILL be posting proper NSFW again more regularly (including my OWN cosplay lewds, 'cus I'm SPICY again.) ⚠️
I love my tags and will do my best to post, responsibly.
YOUR PART:
1.) Blacklist stuff you don't wanna see
2.) Unfollow if you don't want to follow me anymore.
3.) Block me if you don't want to see my stuff AT ALL. That's fine! Take care of yourself first. 💖 Just let me have fun in a space I am creating for myself.
All are welcome to join (as long as you're a legal adult, wherever you live right now), but shit-stirrers will be blocked, reported, *and* reported to YOUR LOCAL law enforcement, if necessary!
I'm an adult in fandom, and I want to make a safe and kind space. But fuck around and find out. 💖
I'm gonna start moving all my @sunshinecapt11 posts HERE. Close that account.
COURTESY REMINDER:
⚠️ I'm 32, American, ADULT SPACE, NSFW friendly, NSFW positive, and WILL be posting proper NSFW again more regularly (including my OWN cosplay lewds, 'cus I'm SPICY again.) ⚠️
I love my tags and will do my best to post, responsibly.
YOUR PART:
1.) Blacklist stuff you don't wanna see
2.) Unfollow if you don't want to follow me anymore.
3.) Block me if you don't want to see my stuff AT ALL. That's fine! Take care of yourself first. 💖 Just let me have fun in a space I am creating for myself.
All are welcome to join (as long as you're a legal adult, wherever you live right now), but shit-stirrers will be blocked, reported, *and* reported to YOUR LOCAL law enforcement, if necessary!
I'm an adult in fandom, and I want to make a safe and kind space. But fuck around and find out. 💖
Can we talk about Jeremy learning French, please, because I want to weep. Like this boy goes out of his way to be kind, without anyone asking him to, and that is so important. Like Cat and Laila both speak other languages, but they have family to share that with, and when Jeremy saw that Jean didn't, he took it upon himself to do something about it. Learning a whole ass language is a lot to take on and he's even doing it in Jean's dialect so he has someone to share that part of himself with? PLEASE
MORE sad boy thoughts. sorry, y'all. 😂😭😭😭 sad Boi summer. (all good, but I have had MANY thoughts.)
You know what:
⚠️ CONTENT WARNING ⚠️ under the "Read More":
this also got LONG. Warnings: suicide attempts/ideation/thoughts/suicidal vibes & mentions, non-canon, yet canon, character suicide, abuse of varying kinds. Spoilers for the new series with The Sunshine Court & The Golden Raven!
It's giving Bad Ending AU, a.k.a. EAU Ravens managed to acquire the top players by exploiting, paying off, or killing difficult family members/...beloved coaches of "enemy" teams who fight to give abused kids a chance...
To me, it's, "Jeremy is the Golden Raven AU". 😂😭😭😭😭😭 it's rough. for real.
I can't stop thinking about an AU where Jeremy is called the Golden Raven.
Only, it's cruel and vicious mockery--not an affectionate nickname, like in book canon, when Jean's true, kind, authentic self starts appearing and people take notice.
(Jeremy doesn't believe it, but he barely *remembers* that night.)
(Just colors and a lot of blissful *nothing*).
But Noah hadn't been okay.
Jeremy wasn't okay.
Annie wasn't okay.
Josh wasn't okay.
...and...Bryson...Bryson had changed.
In almost every way after the accident. It was terrifying.
(Jeremy still can't even look Bryson's way, for fuck's sake...)
And when he's forced to be anywhere near Bryson, every thought, impulse, feeling, and--everything just
Leaves.
"Jeremy" stays.
Jeremy goes away.
And every time Jeremy came back. He wished he hadn't.
So.
Jeremy attempted suicide.
Tho, he failed where Noah succeeded.
Thru some *discreet* and less-esteemed colleagues, the Wilshires brokered a deal with the Moriyamas.
Tetsuji was able to inspire the Ravens with their fallen idol; a reminder of both the cost of failure, and the value of talent.
Jeremy's golden hair was sheared away, and now is just dark stubble.
Riko never cared for Jeremy, not like the others. Kevin was his only concern. But even *he's* unnerved by the boy from The Golden Court, who couldn't *possibly* be the same man who was once #11 of the Trojans and a fierce competitor.
Kevin feels ice in his veins and butterflies in his stomach at the same time. Honestly, the sight of Jeremy just makes him want to cry. He can't understand *why*, but the tears will have to happen *later*. Not here. Not now.
Jean swallows hard. He only has his spot in Riko's elite court because he'd proven himself loyal and efficient.
And, because there had been a--misunderstanding--with the Wesninski family, which ended with Mary Hatford being burnt alive by her own young son, Nathaniel. Forced to hold a lighter his father shoved into the horrible pyre built around a car.
Nasty business.
Jean didn't know Elodie's fate, but he prayed it was kinder than that. He couldn't think too long about her, or he'd be lost.
In any case, Kevin got to say all sorts of things out loud. Things Jean wasn't even supposed to *think*.
But, it had been a quiet comfort to smile in the corner, hidden from view. Kevin getting *dangerously* close to telling Riko that Jeremy Knox *is* the perfect court. Because of talent, experience, *and* kindness."
Jean *knows* Kevin believes it, because Kevin said something similar aloud.
Once.
Only in front of Riko and Jean.
*Miraculously*, Kevin only walked away with a bloody nose and a furiously sobbing Riko screaming at him to:
"Just go to California and play for that Golden *Fa--"
(Jean won't allow himself to think that word. He hopes it leaves his English vocabulary *one* day. So *he* can be rid of it.)
It was one of the worst things Jean had ever seen.
And Jean was a Moreau child in debt, sold as a pawn for the collective of the Moriyamas, Wesninskis, and Days (Well. Tetsuji was "handling" the late Kayleigh Day's affairs. Including Tetsuji's new ward; the sweet and *infuriating* young Kevin, who Jean literally could not live without.)
Jean couldn't admit his real feelings to himself. So he could be cautious.
But, he knew that somewhere along the line, his admiration changed into something else for the Sunshine Captain...
Nathaniel's eyes widen.
A Knox? Wilshire? Whatever Jeremy was *now* (maybe a "doe"? lmao, he could join andrew and aaron as the third doe brother. and if jeremy bleached his hair, he could *kind* of look like them. that could work.)
Nathaniel's eyes flick to Andrew. Whatever surname Jeremy was using, he was a handsome young boy. And Neil knew Andrew was a *sucker* for a cute boy.
Andrew, #5 DOE, swallows.
He and Nathaniel/"Neil" (a nickname 'cus Andrew misspelled "NathaNIEL"s name ONCE and Neil will NOT let him live it down. Ever.) are the closest thing Andrew would *want* for a partner. boyfriend. lover. whatever. But Neil knows Andrew's type, so Andrew flattens and holds his expression. Easy with years of practice.
Not many would spot it, but Neil can see the concern in Andrew's barely quirked eyebrow.
Aaron, #6 DOE, freezes.
The pretty boy from California. Wilshire Heir. Sort of. Knox son. Sort of.
The last time Aaron and Andrew rapid fire shot info at each other and updated their collective mental notes on "enemy" teams--Aaron had stopped Andrew.
Aaron had made a point to say:
"Do not get involved with him. Under any circumstances. You like to show off, but if he beats you, you will NOT leave it alone. And I *cannot* lose the chance to go pro. Just so you can put another fa--...guy. Guy, thru the ringer with your stupid tests."
"Katelyn and I have offer letters, but I need to finish this year to transfer, or I'm dead in the water. And if this falls apart because of you, I will kill you myself. With my own two hands. You piece of shit. Do *not* fuck me over."
None of them expected to see Jeremy Knox *here*.
And not like *this*.
Even now, they're not sure what to say or do.
Jeremy lifts his head. His eyes are dark and cold in the artificial lighting of The Nest. They've only ever looked light and sweet, like honey on rye. With a sparkle of light in them, not too different from the light Jeremy carried into all aspects of life.
He puts on a smile that *everyone* in the room sees thru immediately.
Including him.
He feels the smile faulter. Feels the mood grow tenser.
But, he can't be bothered to pretend anymore, so it's the best his muscle memory can do. Which is to say--the best he can do, right now.
Tetsuji shoves a set of uniform shirt & shorts (in EAU colors) into Riko's arms and leaves for his next appointment, whispering something curt in Japanese.
Riko straightens up, and returns a cruel smile to Jeremy. Kevin heard Tetsuji's short, clipped command as well, and looks worried when his gaze flicks back to Riko.
Riko approaches Jeremy and runs the back of his fingers down Jeremy's cheek.
"You look better in pictures. But I know your recent failure of a...concrete swan-dive didn't go quite as planned. So, you get a pass. For now."
"We'll get you all dolled up again. Then, we can all go out for a night out and the rest of court can get to know you. Drinks, dancing, but no drugs that affect performance. You'll still have to keep your nose clean, Knox, but we can find something. Hotel rooms. Cabin rentals. Alleyways. As long as we are ready for practice the next day," Riko intones, in a way that makes his entire Perfect Court uneasy.
Jeremy's smile widens, only a little, and he softly nuzzles Riko's hand and lowers his eyes in clear submission.
Riko laughs and turns away.
"Grayson, help Knox get fitted in his #7 gear. Make sure everything fits snug. Some of his parts might be a little too loose, but see if you can make it work anyway. Have fun, but don't get too distracted."
Riko turns back and dismisses everyone with the day's schedule, "Laps in 15 minutes. Drills after. Improvement exercises, then scrimmages. Wind down, supper, studying. Let's go, move it."
Jeremy finally lifts his gaze up and looks to his teammates for the first time.
They all see him.
But they don't see *him*.
He can't blame them.
No one really does.
He goes with Grayson, and, with one touch, Jeremy knows exactly what kind of man Grayson is.
Luckily, Jeremy wasn't a contender for captain of USC's Collegiate Exy Team, as a Sophomore--for nothing.
He earned the nickname (as erroneous and conflated it may be): "The Sunshine Captain". Fair and square.
He wasn't the laid back, pretty, rich boy most people thought he was.
He was that...
Is that.
In some ways.
But not all. And that's the important part.
Regardless, he's fought to survive his whole life.
He has never forgotten the taste of blood in his mouth, put there by people he thought would protect him from such violence.
MORE sad boy thoughts. sorry, y'all. 😂😭😭😭 sad Boi summer. (all good, but I have had MANY thoughts.)
You know what:
⚠️ CONTENT WARNING ⚠️ under the "Read More":
this also got LONG. Warnings: suicide attempts/ideation/thoughts/suicidal vibes & mentions, non-canon, yet canon, character suicide, abuse of varying kinds. Spoilers for the new series with The Sunshine Court & The Golden Raven!
It's giving Bad Ending AU, a.k.a. EAU Ravens managed to acquire the top players by exploiting, paying off, or killing difficult family members/...beloved coaches of "enemy" teams who fight to give abused kids a chance...
To me, it's, "Jeremy is the Golden Raven AU". 😂😭😭😭😭😭 it's rough. for real.
I can't stop thinking about an AU where Jeremy is called the Golden Raven.
Only, it's cruel and vicious mockery--not an affectionate nickname, like in book canon, when Jean's true, kind, authentic self starts appearing and people take notice.
(Jeremy doesn't believe it, but he barely *remembers* that night.)
(Just colors and a lot of blissful *nothing*).
But Noah hadn't been okay.
Jeremy wasn't okay.
Annie wasn't okay.
Josh wasn't okay.
...and...Bryson...Bryson had changed.
In almost every way after the accident. It was terrifying.
(Jeremy still can't even look Bryson's way, for fuck's sake...)
And when he's forced to be anywhere near Bryson, every thought, impulse, feeling, and--everything just
Leaves.
"Jeremy" stays.
Jeremy goes away.
And every time Jeremy came back. He wished he hadn't.
So.
Jeremy attempted suicide.
Tho, he failed where Noah succeeded.
Thru some *discreet* and less-esteemed colleagues, the Wilshires brokered a deal with the Moriyamas.
Tetsuji was able to inspire the Ravens with their fallen idol; a reminder of both the cost of failure, and the value of talent.
Jeremy's golden hair was sheared away, and now is just dark stubble.
Riko never cared for Jeremy, not like the others. Kevin was his only concern. But even *he's* unnerved by the boy from The Golden Court, who couldn't *possibly* be the same man who was once #11 of the Trojans and a fierce competitor.
Kevin feels ice in his veins and butterflies in his stomach at the same time. Honestly, the sight of Jeremy just makes him want to cry. He can't understand *why*, but the tears will have to happen *later*. Not here. Not now.
Jean swallows hard. He only has his spot in Riko's elite court because he'd proven himself loyal and efficient.
And, because there had been a--misunderstanding--with the Wesninski family, which ended with Mary Hatford being burnt alive by her own young son, Nathaniel. Forced to hold a lighter his father shoved into the horrible pyre built around a car.
Nasty business.
Jean didn't know Elodie's fate, but he prayed it was kinder than that. He couldn't think too long about her, or he'd be lost.
In any case, Kevin got to say all sorts of things out loud. Things Jean wasn't even supposed to *think*.
But, it had been a quiet comfort to smile in the corner, hidden from view. Kevin getting *dangerously* close to telling Riko that Jeremy Knox *is* the perfect court. Because of talent, experience, *and* kindness."
Jean *knows* Kevin believes it, because Kevin said something similar aloud.
Once.
Only in front of Riko and Jean.
*Miraculously*, Kevin only walked away with a bloody nose and a furiously sobbing Riko screaming at him to:
"Just go to California and play for that Golden *Fa--"
(Jean won't allow himself to think that word. He hopes it leaves his English vocabulary *one* day. So *he* can be rid of it.)
It was one of the worst things Jean had ever seen.
And Jean was a Moreau child in debt, sold as a pawn for the collective of the Moriyamas, Wesninskis, and Days (Well. Tetsuji was "handling" the late Kayleigh Day's affairs. Including Tetsuji's new ward; the sweet and *infuriating* young Kevin, who Jean literally could not live without.)
Jean couldn't admit his real feelings to himself. So he could be cautious.
But, he knew that somewhere along the line, his admiration changed into something else for the Sunshine Captain...
Nathaniel's eyes widen.
A Knox? Wilshire? Whatever Jeremy was *now* (maybe a "doe"? lmao, he could join andrew and aaron as the third doe brother. and if jeremy bleached his hair, he could *kind* of look like them. that could work.)
Nathaniel's eyes flick to Andrew. Whatever surname Jeremy was using, he was a handsome young boy. And Neil knew Andrew was a *sucker* for a cute boy.
Andrew, #5 DOE, swallows.
He and Nathaniel/"Neil" (a nickname 'cus Andrew misspelled "NathaNIEL"s name ONCE and Neil will NOT let him live it down. Ever.) are the closest thing Andrew would *want* for a partner. boyfriend. lover. whatever. But Neil knows Andrew's type, so Andrew flattens and holds his expression. Easy with years of practice.
Not many would spot it, but Neil can see the concern in Andrew's barely quirked eyebrow.
Aaron, #6 DOE, freezes.
The pretty boy from California. Wilshire Heir. Sort of. Knox son. Sort of.
The last time Aaron and Andrew rapid fire shot info at each other and updated their collective mental notes on "enemy" teams--Aaron had stopped Andrew.
Aaron had made a point to say:
"Do not get involved with him. Under any circumstances. You like to show off, but if he beats you, you will NOT leave it alone. And I *cannot* lose the chance to go pro. Just so you can put another fa--...guy. Guy, thru the ringer with your stupid tests."
"Katelyn and I have offer letters, but I need to finish this year to transfer, or I'm dead in the water. And if this falls apart because of you, I will kill you myself. With my own two hands. You piece of shit. Do *not* fuck me over."
None of them expected to see Jeremy Knox *here*.
And not like *this*.
Even now, they're not sure what to say or do.
Jeremy lifts his head. His eyes are dark and cold in the artificial lighting of The Nest. They've only ever looked light and sweet, like honey on rye. With a sparkle of light in them, not too different from the light Jeremy carried into all aspects of life.
He puts on a smile that *everyone* in the room sees thru immediately.
Including him.
He feels the smile faulter. Feels the mood grow tenser.
But, he can't be bothered to pretend anymore, so it's the best his muscle memory can do. Which is to say--the best he can do, right now.
Tetsuji shoves a set of uniform shirt & shorts (in EAU colors) into Riko's arms and leaves for his next appointment, whispering something curt in Japanese.
Riko straightens up, and returns a cruel smile to Jeremy. Kevin heard Tetsuji's short, clipped command as well, and looks worried when his gaze flicks back to Riko.
Riko approaches Jeremy and runs the back of his fingers down Jeremy's cheek.
"You look better in pictures. But I know your recent failure of a...concrete swan-dive didn't go quite as planned. So, you get a pass. For now."
"We'll get you all dolled up again. Then, we can all go out for a night out and the rest of court can get to know you. Drinks, dancing, but no drugs that affect performance. You'll still have to keep your nose clean, Knox, but we can find something. Hotel rooms. Cabin rentals. Alleyways. As long as we are ready for practice the next day," Riko intones, in a way that makes his entire Perfect Court uneasy.
Jeremy's smile widens, only a little, and he softly nuzzles Riko's hand and lowers his eyes in clear submission.
Riko laughs and turns away.
"Grayson, help Knox get fitted in his #7 gear. Make sure everything fits snug. Some of his parts might be a little too loose, but see if you can make it work anyway. Have fun, but don't get too distracted."
Riko turns back and dismisses everyone with the day's schedule, "Laps in 15 minutes. Drills after. Improvement exercises, then scrimmages. Wind down, supper, studying. Let's go, move it."
Jeremy finally lifts his gaze up and looks to his teammates for the first time.
They all see him.
But they don't see *him*.
He can't blame them.
No one really does.
He goes with Grayson, and, with one touch, Jeremy knows exactly what kind of man Grayson is.
Luckily, Jeremy wasn't a contender for captain of USC's Collegiate Exy Team, as a Sophomore--for nothing.
He earned the nickname (as erroneous and conflated it may be): "The Sunshine Captain". Fair and square.
He wasn't the laid back, pretty, rich boy most people thought he was.
He was that...
Is that.
In some ways.
But not all. And that's the important part.
Regardless, he's fought to survive his whole life.
He has never forgotten the taste of blood in his mouth, put there by people he thought would protect him from such violence.
Yes yes Jean who secretly is an alpha but wasn’t allowed to be but what about Jeremy who is actually an omega but isn’t allowed to be…and everyone thinks he’s a Beta but then one day he’s out of suppressants or forgets them and they’re away for a game … and he starts going into heat. And maybe it’s mid game when it starts and people start giving him odd looks but he’s technically a Beta so no one assumes it’s him. But then by the end of the game he is fighting for his life. And he knows he’ll be expected to do press and knows there’s no way in hell he can walk out of here alone but the girls and Rhemann are too far , and people are starting to realize the preheat scent is coming from him. So he grabs onto the first person he sees, the first person he trusts—Jean—and says I need to get out of here.
Jeremy doesn’t hate his name because of family issues. He actually desperately needs to change it because ppl won’t stop saying they’re gonna get him pregnant
