Untitled

I'm here, I'm queer, and I really want to disappear

[irixhye]

They are my Roman Empire

[bugslibraryy]

Ok they so many sweet things for their anniversary, but Shane also gets a custom made made thong, soft white cotton, simple at the front maybe a cute little bow and some ruffles on the thing waistband, but the real gift is on the back, the soft triangle of fabric above where it pulls into a barely there line of fabric for between his ass- the red stitched “Ilya’s” with a tiny heart next to it. He pulls them on after morning blow jobs and showers. Pulls on some soft loose track shorts over them. Ilya discovers them when he inevitably gets all handsy while Shane cooks them breakfast. The playing with the waistband of shanes sweats as he kisses at his necks and feels the soft cotton- fabric higher than expected and he’s like “hmm?” And pulls back just enough, head resting on the back of Shane’s neck looking down and he tugs his shorts down a bit and then he can see the top of the thong, the pretty fabric now visible higher than the waistband is the shorts over Shane’s hips that meet in a just big enough scrap above his ass to hold the word “Ilyas” before disappearing into his ass and Ilya swears goes deadly still and then Shane is being flattened out on his front on the counter, Ilya’s hands all over him, gripping smacking and pulling at his ass as he drops to his knees to get a better look

[thisfeebleheart]

[stabthroughme]

Hollanov freak4freak in the Cens locker room:

When Lisa has a bad shift at work and suddenly has Wyatt planning how he wants to be buried/his funeral and Shane and Ilya both decide when they die (at the same time) they will be sharing a coffin. Or even better going full Classics mode and mixing their ashes together. They declare this out loud then return to stick taping.

Shane calling Lisa to ask if they (doctors) would do elective surgery to transplant their bones into each other on speaker phone. Ilya is beaming.

Shane watching Ilya tape his stick. Ilya who only developed his “way” of taping his stick post 2017 All Stars when he saw how Shane did it. They match. Shane acts like Ilya is performing a strip tease.

Ilya hearing Shane talk to the new Russian rookie in Russian, talking abt how if he ever needs anything to call Shane and/or Ilya. He knows how isolating it can be etc etc. Ilya finds it sweet but is irrationally possessive about Shane speaking Russian to anyone else ever.

Ofc they’re compatible blood types and at some point Shane discovers some new “health spa” thing that does private blood transfusions. He books an appointment for him and Ilya. On full volume on his headphones in the middle of the gym. The Ducklings (younger players) are now convinced Shane and Ilya are vampires. When they try to bring it up to anyone else Bood asks Ilya and Ilya beams and goes “we switched blood”. The same voice and tone as “we got Anya a little sister” after a long weekend where they acquired a kitten.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Rolex invites Shane to the Royal Box at Wimbledon again and this time Shane accepts because Rolex specifically asked if he could bring his husband as well and fuck yes he can and together Ilya and Shane are ready to serve so much cunt. They both get dressed in some sharp, elevated summer suits, Ilya in Versace and Shane in Gucci, the dramatic sunglasses & the bitchiest, judgiest mogging are ON, they mirror each other as they cross their legs; occasionally they're holding hands or sit with Ilya's arm around Shanes waist, they are the epitome of power husbands & this is their playground. Do they have one clue what is going on on the court? Of course not. That doesn't stop them from having a fabulous time showing off each other. They know they steal the limelight looking as devastating as they do, together. Turns out these dreadful PR appointments are actually incredible fun when you have your husband/best friend / soulmate with you and Shane can't imagine how he ever did this without Ilya.

Now picture this, occasionally they whisper into each other's ears, sometimes its just sweet nothigns and sometimes it's some devastating chirps about tennis, and each time a precious smile breaks through, only for each other, but it drives the photographers wild.

(afterwards, Ilya is excited to have the perfect summer with Shane where they fuck their way across europe)

[hollanov-words]

MyShane was DEVASTATED when "Ilya Rozanov Best Hits Compilation" by Hockey_Guy435423 disappeared due to copyright claims. It only had like 200 views and 100 of them were Shane watching with his dick in his hand.

There are others from SportsNet and ESPN but that one just had a certain je n'ais ce quoi that got Shane going. Shane DMs Hockey_Guy435423 but doesn't hear back and goes on a deep dive trying to figure out if there's a way to recover deleted youtube videos and he never does but it's okay because in the process he finds like 5 more Ilya Rozanov fight compilation videos from small creators. He meticulously downloads these to a special folder just in case and adds them to the regular rotation.

[lavenderprose]

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

[ilya-sweetheart]

I crave more fics where shane Spells It Out about how he and ilya hid for years. i need his parents and hayden crying about it.

On his real estate career:

“i had to buy a whole other house i pretended to live in just so people wouldn’t guess we were secretly together. imagine if you had to do that with jackie”

On why it’s so important everyone knows they’re married:

“i’m almost thirty and my whole career i couldn’t have my parter being my next of kin, emergency contact, or power of attorney. instead it was my mum like i’m still a child”

On why he loves spending his time with ilya:

“did you know that in the ten years we’ve been together we’ve never even had breakfast together. everything we had was rushed, clandestine, kept under wraps so we didn’t loose our livelihoods and reputation”

Bonus Ilya explaining the russia of it all

“my father was high ranking military officer. my brother is police. we have connections in high places…it would be an embarrassment, for many people if my sexuality is out. probably they will not put me on trial, i am too famous, but they would make me disappear. block my bank accounts, revoke my passport. make me no longer citizen of russia. make me no one”

[argillaforma]

yeah yeah yeah fuck-drunk shane but have we considered fuck-drunk ilya maybe shane rode him into next sunday or maybe ilya was just so lost in the sauce he got a little stupid about it so afterwards he just lies on the bed with little cartoon hearts floating around his head and giggling to himself because Wow he just loves shane so much and he feels so good and floaty but they have things to do today and ilya is in charge of the shopping cart but he keeps driving into things and if shane didn’t have good reflexes there would have been a flood in the wine section and he keeps pawing at shane and leaning into him and he hasn’t heard a word of what he’s said the last half an hour because his face is just too pretty and he’s having a hard time multitasking at the moment

[jewelcoatfish]

drunk shane burying himself in the crook of ilya’s neck whispering “i love you, i never loved anyone like i love you, i love you so much, i’m so happy you’re the first person i see every morning and the last person i see at night. i miss you all the time when we’re not together. i love you.” and ilya covering his mouth with his hand to stop the sniffles coming out and scaring shane

[mutinsfromthemoon]

there’s this belief that ilya is the bottom in their relationship and it doesn’t help he’s so flamboyant and there’s this joke around “he’s gay or european?” which is obviously based on nothing but stereotypes. shane is always carrying ilya’s stuff, and holding ilya’s waist and ilya is always sitting on shane’s lap and doesn’t help at all he’s always making shane’s plate at the gatherings. and one time shane fixed a pipe at one of the centaurs house and the wags spread the story around so people really just assume that shane is the “man” of the house. the thing is that ilya and shane never share, confirm or denies what happens in their private lives. their dynamics is for them only and rose landry

[butterflysmusings]

Tom Riddle is not unemotional. He is fucking ruled by them.

Color me a skeptic when I come across depictions of Tom as this stoic, stone-cold ice prince of Slytherin.

That was what he tried to project himself as, but at his core, Tom Marvolo Riddle is like a ripe fruit, almost about to burst with pent-up emotions.

I fully endorse the headcanon that deep down, Tom takes after the Gaunts more than the Riddles.

He did a grand job aping their distinguished disposition and glacial aura (his aristocratic looks helped too), but scratch the surface, and he's a Gaunt, a slave to his passions.

Apathy is not his Achilles heel. Avarice and arrogance are.

He's not immune to emotions. On the contrary, he's at their mercy. He's not the type to hide his emotions for long. At the first opportunity, he will make sure the world knows about his feelings, whether it wants to or not. Have you seen him monologue his entire life story and unresolved daddy and mummy issues to his prophesied enemy?

There’s nothing measured, controlled, or austere in my Tom.

He is prone to excess. Just as his Gaunt forefathers thoughtlessly squandered their immense wealth, he too wasted his brilliance, his genius, and his remarkable talent and shredded his soul to pieces in the pursuit of immortality.

Far from being unsusceptible to desire, he wanted so much and got so greedy that he ultimately orchestrated his own destruction.

[scripturienting]

I’m not a big fan of how in many tomarry fics Harry’s character suffers in favour of making Tom Riddle seem cool.

Like y’all. I don’t care how much of an overachieving genius Tom was, that man is canonically a patchwork of the worst character flaws anyone could ever have. I love him because he is a loser. He is beautiful and smart and over-emotional and egotistic and cruel and antisocial and it ruins his life.

Fics tend to write Harry as surly and reacting with anger, but in canon the only time we see him genuinely get angry after all the shit he’s been through is 1) when he has to deal with Umbridge, and 2) after Sirius dies at the Ministry. I’d go so far as to say that he is less emotional than Tom.

Harry’s levels of idgaf are so unapologetically high that he literally sees no point in pandering or lying to anyone about anything. He goes to formal networking events with outcasts, breaks rules on the regular, blows up his aunt because she pissed him off, casually murders his DADA professors on a Tuesday afternoon… he literally asked the Minister for Magic to sign his Hogsmeade permission form and crucio’d a Death Eater for spitting on McGonagall.

There’s no realistic scenario where Harry James Potter would be submissive or overly insecure.

Tom’s too self-conscious about preserving his reputation and people respecting him to actually be himself. His ego is a castle of cards, dependent entirely on his Slytherin heritage, his high grades, and his utter lack of scruples. If any of those are cast into doubt, he loses his temper and becomes completely unhinged.

[sashimj]

the purest form of magic AU (my hp infection AU)

i want to take a small break from Hogwarts Legacy and draw tom again lol

so, i’ve discovered some pony virus AUs and even Undertale analog horror series and got inspired to make a harry potter one! i believe someone has already done it, but i still want to make my own😋

this is the purest form of magic virus or a horcrux disease. it starts to affect one the moment they create their first horcrux.

after the first one is created, the disease starts to urge its victim to create another one and so on. the more you create—the more your body and mind get corrupted. the infected’s wand melts into their body to make them immune to disarmament and help the magic flow better. the wand is now a part of the body with its own growing muscle tissue, veins, and nerves. obviously, the disease makes its victim immortal by messing with their organs and filling them with magic to keep the system functioning.

the infected is obsessed with immortality and the concept of "pure magic" that can be achieved by making more horcruxes and filling one’s body with so much magic that the damage becomes irreparable and gives the infected the "ascension" they crave.

the patient zero probably was Herpo the Foul, but the most corrupted one was Tom Riddle, as the virus supported his already present obsession with immortality.

STILL KINDA RAW AND PLAIN but i tried. i probably made some mistakes canon wise but idc, i'm having fun🙃currently drawing how the diary horcrux would look like in this AU!

[gingerpolyglot]

Give me Shane awkwardly trying "queer culture" things that Ilya and Harris try to introduce him to and hating it.

Give me Shane "hates clubbing and bars" Hollander not minding Kingfisher in the afternoon but refusing to go at night. Give me Shane never understanding the slang (he's never online) and being overstimulated by drag brunch (it's so LOUD and nothing fits his diet even once he loosens it a little and brunch as a concept throws off his entire routine) and utterly bored by any TV show that isn't the latest game replay (is this reality TV? Is it a drama? He can't remember and he can't tell the difference but honestly he'd rather be watching hockey) and unable to remember the difference between Lady Gaga and Cher (he never listens to music anyway) and completely disinterested in changing his wardrobe (for fancy events he wears whatever his stylist tells him to but not anything adventurous, because he just wants to look acceptable not make a statement).

Give me Shane feeling alienated from gay culture the way he sometimes feels alienated from Japanese culture and being so frustrated that being himself, exactly as he is, still isn't good enough for anyone.

Give me a Shane Hollander who doesn't want to be "the gay hockey player" the same way he doesn't want to be "the Asian hockey player" but he'll suck it up because he's such an inspiration, don't you know how many kids look up to you? Don't you know how much it matters to them to see you out there loud and proud?

Give me Shane finally snapping at Ilya that clearly he's not "super gay" if he's so bad at it, because he's sick and tired of everyone being disappointed that he's not up on whatever the latest queer culture trend is and he does not want to be a "gay icon," he just wants to play hockey and love his husband, and he's not magically a different person now that everyone knows he's gay.

Give me Ilya reckoning with how coming out has only put more expectations on Shane's shoulders and noticing the roles Shane is always forced into - the Asian player, the gay player - and understanding a bit more why privacy seemed like a better guarantee of freedom to Shane than openness.

Give me Ilya promising Shane that he loves him exactly as he is, jocky and offline and dedicated to hockey, that he never has to change anything about himself to seem more palatable to anyone, and fuck anyone who thinks Shane isn't *anything* enough, because he's always been perfect for Ilya.

[bugslibraryy]

Ilya teaching over eager Shane during the hookup era how to deep throat cock, his thumb hooked inside Shane’s cheek, hand on the back of his neck low voice coaching him through it because Shane had managed to mumble out a “want to do that” when Ilya had taken him to the back of his throat, nose pressed to Shane’s groin as he had swallowed swallowed swallowed him down. Ilya groaning and whispering “good boy” and “nice and messy, make it easier” and “that’s it, breath through your nose and keep going slow take all of it, relax your jaw and let me fill your throat, feel where it belongs”Shane going to fucking molasses over it, his mouth and throat so full and all the instruction and praise making his heart all horny and achy too.

[omgshesblowinbubbles]

Don’t Twinkify my Shane but also don’t Dumbify my Ilya! He does not need a sex ban threat to pick up his socks, he knows Shane doesn’t like stuff on the floor. He does not eat McDonalds while shane cooks dinner. His goal in life is to be a good boyfriend and make his man happy and he is very good at it.