its so interesting writing on multiple platforms bc from what i've noticed (this is just an observation i've made not 100% consistent fact so if you've had a diff experience just... move on idk) idol x reader does better on tumblr but idol x idol does better on AO3. Like anything idol x reader i've put up on ao3 does alright but not too great but idol x idol stuff does pretty well consistently. but then i come here and start posting and its the opposite. idk i just find it so interesting to see the difference in audiences.
tags: nsfw, idol x idol, smut but soft (if that makes any sense, like its not real aggressive), virgin han, bi felix, oral (lix receiving), grinding, praise kink, dom felix, sub han, han gets called good boy & pretty boy a lot, uhhh idk what else to tag it i think thats it, its mostly just nice smut
a/n: this is my first time ever writing nsfw so like... it might be shit idk i hope its not that bad tho
!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!
!!MINORS DNI!!
"Hannie you gotta just tell him or something, it's not gonna change anything really." said a very tired Chan from the other side of the studio.
Han has spent the last hour telling Chan & Changbin all about his âsmallâ crush on Felix. He calls it small but the other two would definitely say otherwise.
âBut hyung what if it changes everything? What if he hates me? Or thinks its gross? What if he doesnât want to work with me anymore?â Han starts to ramble before Changbin cuts him off.
âHan, itâs Lixie. How bad could it possibly be?â
âIt could possibly be very bad.â Han states, completely serious while Chan & Changbin just kind of roll their eyes at him.
âMate, tell him if youâre going to. If not, then can you at least keep your ramblings about his freckles and muscles to yourself?â Chan asks.
âIf I tried that Iâd explode⊠heâs gorgeous and amazing andâŠâ Han continues on getting lost in his ranting about his âsmallâ crush on Felix, because of course he still wonât admit itâs a massive crush at this point.
Chan & Changbin sigh and go back to what they were working on earlier.
Finally, after a couple more hours of work they decide to wrap it up and head home for the night. Han still stuck in his loop of thinking about Felix. Everything about Felix, his hair, his eyes, his laugh, his scent, his body, everything.
When 3racha get home Felix & Hyunjin are in the living room just finishing getting ready for some party a friend of theirs is hosting. Chan & Changbin head to bed immediately, exhausted from all the work theyâve done during the day, but Han is stuck just staring at Felix.
âTake a picture love, itâll last longerâ Felix giggles at him with a wink.
This seems to snap Han out of his staring, and he just blushes and stares at his feet which just causes Felix to laugh more.
âItâs ok I donât mind if you stare, just means Iâve done a good job.â Felix smirks
âYou wanna come with us Hannie?â Hyunjin chimes in
âOh, uhm no thanks thatâs okâ Han says nervously, a party just sounds like a recipe for a panic attack to him, no matter how bad he wants to spend all night with Felix.
âAre you sureee? Itâll be funnn, go meet some people, drink a bit, dance a lot.â Felix says while adding another layer of lip gloss.
âYeah Iâm sure, thanks for the invite though. I hope you guys have a good time!â Han smiles at them as they start to head out the door.
Felix & Hyunjin have always been a bit more involved in the parties than all the other members. Felix even more than Hyunjin, back in Australia he was going to raves & parties almost every night. Now heâs mostly just going out on Fridays and Saturdays but still loves it just as much.
Sometimes Han wishes he could go to some of the parties just for a chance to hang with Felix but the one time he tried to go with them Hyunjin and Felix had to basically carry him out of there because he got so overwhelmed and panicked so fast, so he has since decided itâs best for him to stay home and watch a movie.
Though tonight in particular he just canât stop thinking about Felix and whoever heâs with at the party. Han knows well that Felix usually ends up going home with someone or bringing someone home with him, Han has always secretly wished it was him. Yet still he claims his crush is âsmallâ.
Finally, Han decides to see who is still awake and walks out into the kitchen to see just Seungmin. The only people that know about his crush are Chan, Changbin, Seungmin, & Lee Know.
âHi Minnieâ Han says, slightly sadly.
âHey, whatâs wrong?â Seungmin immediately notices the sad tone of Hanâs voice.
âI want to be at that party with Lix.â
âHan they invited you to go with, if you wanted to go why didnât you take the invite?â Seungmin asks rolling his eyes.
âSeungmin you know I canât go to those parties.â
âSorry Hannie, it just is what it is I guess.â Seungmin shrugs
âBut I wanna see himmmâ Han pouts.
âDude you live with him. How much more could you see the man??â
âI want to see him always.â
âGrossâ Seungmin sticks his tongue out in disgust.
âHe is not gross!â Han gasps
âI didnât say he was gross I said love is gross. Two different things.â
âI donât love him its just a small crushâ Han gets slightly defensive.
âHan. Dude. You spend like every minute of every day thinking about what heâs doing and where he is and what he looks like⊠Should I go on?â
âI do notâŠâ
âPlease donât lie to me, Iâve been subjected to many of your ramblings about him.â
âBesides, if he was here what would you even do? Or maybe the better question is what do you want to prevent him from doing if you were there?â Seungmin teases
âMinnie donât tease thatâs not nice.â
âHey, Iâm just being honest with you. If he was here youâd just sit on the opposite end of the couch and stare at him all night. You wonât tell him you like him, you wonât make a move, and any time he goes out with anyone else or brings anyone home you just pout. Iâm not sure what you want me to do for you man.â
âIâm not asking you to do anything Iâm just making you sit here and listen to my complaints.â
âOh, lucky meâ Seungmin says sarcastically.
âReally though Hannie, what do you think would happen if you did tell him you like him? Itâs not like heâd be homophobic or anything, we all know heâs been with plenty of guys, girls, whoever. He quite literally has proclaimed himself a âbisexual messâ.â
âIâm not worried about that I just think heâd be uncomfortable or something I donât know what if I ruin everything? At least right now I can sit and stare at him and admire him but if I make him uncomfortable it could mess all that up.â
âI really donât think it would change anything. I think even if he doesnât like you like that heâd just move on and continue just fine as friends. Nothing would have to be any different.â Seungmin reassures.
âSo, what do you think I should do?â
âThatâs not for me to decide. Have a talk with him, just walk up and ask to kiss him, I honestly donât care what you do just make sure whatever you do is with consent and all that.â
âI just have never done anything like this beforeâ Han says nervously.
Relationship experience is no secret among the members. Everyone has been in some sort of relationship⊠except Han. Itâs not like heâs never had crushes before Felix or anything, Heâs just always too nervous to act on them.
âYeah I know, which is another thing to consider if you act on this thing with Felix. Heâs got way more relationship and⊠other experience than you. Consider what his next action might be and if youâre ready for that.â
âWhat do you mean?â Han asks, genuinely confused.
Seungmin sighs, realizing heâs going to have to directly spell it out for Han.
âHeâs been with a lot of people, and youâve been with no one. Youâve considered all the negative scenarios that could happen but think about the positive scenarios too. Say he feels the same, are you ready for anything that could come from that?â
âYou mean like, heâd want to have sex with me?â
âI mean, not that I want to think about it because that is NOT an image I want in my head but yes Hannie thatâs a possibility. Are you ready for that? I mean not that Felix is some sex-crazed person and Iâm absolutely positive if you said you werenât ready heâd wait but just think about it.â
Han honestly hadnât thought about that. Of course, that was something he had fantasized about but having it as an actual possible reality? Never crossed his mind.
After that point Han & Seungminâs talk was pretty much over, they wished each other good night and headed off to their rooms since it was almost 1:30am.
Han couldnât sleep. No matter how hard he tried, he just fantasized about Felix. Anything Felix would do to him.
About an hour after he had gone to his room he heard the front door open and Hyunjin giggling in the living room, obviously sounding pretty drunk. He decided heâd poke his head out the door and make sure they both got home alright. As soon as he opened the door he was met with quite an entertaining sight.
Felix was half carrying Hyunjin & both of their bags, obviously struggling. Han ran to grab the bags from Felix & set them down before getting Hyunjin to bed. They propped him up in his bed, took his shoes & makeup off, set some water & Tylenol on his nightstand, then left him to get some sleep.
âThanks mate, he overdid it a bit tonight.â Felix laughs
âYeah no problem... Hopefully he doesnât feel too bad in the morning.â Han worries
âOh, heâll be alright. Iâve been forcing him to eat some snacks and drink some water even with the alcohol, wonât be as bad as it would be without that.â
Itâs this point when Han really starts to realize how beautiful Felix looks, his makeup is a bit smeared & heâs sweating from the effort of getting Hyunjin home but still heâs beautiful. He has to forcefully remind himself to stop staring and continue a regular conversation.
âSo, no one coming home with you tonight?â Han teases
âNah, wasnât too interested in anyone there honestly.â Felix says casually, as if he was talking about shopping.
âAh⊠right. Yeah.â Han doesnât know what to say next until Felix speaks first.
âSpeaking of love lives, what about yours? Anyone catching your eye?â
âOh⊠uhm no. Not really. Pretty boring.â Han just stares at the floor.
âLiar! I can see it, youâve got someone you likeee, tell meee.â Felix giggles and teases.
âI canâtâ Han almost whispers
âI wonât tell anyone I swear, your secret is safe with me.â Felix holds his hand out for a pinky promise.
Felix starts to pout when Han doesnât return the pinky promise.
âYou really wonât tell me?â he asks, a little sad.
âI just canât Felix.â Hanâs face is bright red, and he just wants to melt into the floor. Of course, his crush is asking him about who his crush is.
âBut I wonât tell anyone!â Felix continues to pout.
Finally, Han just gets so nervous and overwhelmed with Felix being so insistent on finding out that he just gets up and walks to his room, tears starting to fall.
âFuckâŠâ Felix mutters to himself, never meaning to actually upset Han. He was just teasing.
Once Han closes the door to his room he throws himself in his bed and completely buries himself in the covers. He just wants to disappear.
After about 10 minutes thereâs a soft knock at the door & Felixâs voice comes through.
âHannie, Iâm really sorry, I wonât bother you about it anymore. I promise. I didnât mean to hurt you.â Felix sounds like heâs almost ready to cry too.
âCan I please come in?â Felix asks.
Han stands up and goes to open the door, tears still quietly running down his face.
As soon as the door is open, and Felix sees Hanâs tears he just feels like shit. He genuinely never meant to upset him.
âOh, honey Iâm so sorry, I shouldnât have pushed so far.â Felix apologizes some more while Han walks back to his bed, letting Felix come in and sit at the end of the bed.
âFelixâŠâ Han starts, voice a little shaky.
âYes love?â
âIf I tell you who my crush is, you have to promise not to laugh or be mean or anything.â
âI swear, I wonât laugh or be mean.â Felix puts on a very serious face, showing he really means it.
âMy crush⊠is you.â Han finally admits.
They sit in silence for a second, Felix taking a moment before responding. This felt like forever for Han, not knowing what reaction he was about to get.
âBaby⊠I know.â Felix softly admits.
âWhat??â Han is completely shocked, of all the reactions he prepared for this was not one of them.
âItâs not like youâre super discreet about it. I mean you spend half the day staring at me and you look like youâll melt when I just joke and laugh with you.â Felix kinda giggles before continuing.
âNot to mention the way you freeze, and it looks like your brain has just exploded when I hug you or really even touch you at all.â
Han mentally facepalms, he thought all this time he was so secretive and good at hiding when really Felix knew this whole time.
âWhen did you figure it out?â Han asks.
âMmm, probably when we did the LA stadium shows? Whenever we were backstage on the couch, and I put my hand on your thigh, and you almost immediately turned bright red and basically ran out the room saying you needed to go somewhere.â Felix laughs a bit remembering it.
âDonât laugh at me.â Han pouts
âOh, honey no Iâm not laughing at you, I think itâs adorable.â
âSo, youâre not grossed out or uncomfortable or something??â
âNo of course not! I actually⊠have really liked you a long time too I just didnât want to make you uncomfortable, so I never said anything. I really thought youâd noticed by now.â Felix starts getting a bit shy.
âWait what!? You like me??â Han feels like his heart and head could explode with all the information and emotions heâs getting all at once.
âUh yeah?? You never noticed me flirting with you??â
âFelix youâre a very naturally flirty person I figured you just did that to everyoneâŠâ
They continue sitting in silence for a second before Felix speaks.
âSo. If you like me, and I like you. What do we do about it?â
âI donât know.â Han genuinely has no idea. Heâd never thought this far forward.
Felix grabs his hand and pulls him closer, their faces just inches away from each other before Han reaches out to put his hand on Felixâs chest and gently push him away.
âIâve never even kissed anyone before LixâŠâ Han admits.
âThatâs okay, we donât have to if you donât want to.â Felix comforts
âNo, I mean⊠I want to kiss you I just, donât know how. And youâve got like a lot more experience than me. I mean not to say you get around or anything because I wouldnât say that. I mean of course people do like you though so⊠you know what Iâm going to stop now.â Han says noticing Felixâs soft smile.
âWe donât have to do anything you donât want to do Hannie; we can sit here and watch a movie in silence for all I care. All I want is for you to feel safe and comfortable.â Felix rubs the top of Hanâs hand with his thumb.
Han, feeling a bit bolder and more comfortable now, decides heâs going to climb into Felixâs lap. He has no plan for after that, but heâll figure it out when he gets there.
âHi honeyâ Felix smiles looking at the boy sitting on him.
âHiâ Han says a little out of breath and nervous already.
âWhat now?â Felix giggles
âCan I try to kiss you?â
âOf course, babyâ Felix continues to laugh a bit at Hanâs use of the word âtry.â
Itâs messy and awkward, Felix has to kind of guide Han through it but once they find a nice rhythm itâs very comfortable. Soon Han pulls away and leans his head on Felixâs shoulder, already slightly out of breath from a mixture of excitement and nervousness.
âYou good?â Felix asks after Han has been resting his head on Felixâs shoulder for a little bit.
âVery good.â Han smiles
âIâm gladâ Felix smiles wide, happy to just sit and hold Han.
âWhat now?â Han asks.
âWhat do you mean?â
âLike what do we do next?â
âWhatever you want baby, we can just sit here like this, or we can go to sleep, or we can watch a movie, or if you want we can go a little farther. But thereâs no pressure for anything.â Felix reassures Han that thereâs no wrong answer & heâs completely safe.
âCan I kiss you again?â
âYes love of course.â
This time Han has a little more confidence and tries to lead a little bit, but he just gets so lost, and Felix ends up taking over again.
Then Felixâs hands fall a little lower, going from Hanâs waist to rest on his ass, until Han flinches and Felix immediately takes his hands away and starts to apologize.
âIâm sorry honey I shouldâve asked firstâ Felix start to speak quick until Han cuts him off.
âItâs ok I just wasnât expecting it, I donât mind it though⊠you can put them back if you wantâŠâ Han says shyly.
âYou donât have to just go along with what I do, if you donât want me to touch you there I wonâtâ Felix says, looking into Hanâs eyes to make sure heâs really listening to him.
âNo really⊠I want them there.â Hanâs cheeks & ears go even more red than they already were, if that were possible.
âWhatever you want.â Felix smirks and puts his hands back where they were.
After another minute or two Felix decides to try and test the waters a little further, pushing his tongue towards Hanâs lips, gently as to not startle him but still firm enough that his intentions are obvious.
As soon as Han feels Felixâs tongue he whines, his brain just feeling slightly fuzzy. Without realizing it, heâs grinding his hips against Felix, just trying to get any touch he can.
Felix giggles and pulls away.
âYou like that, huh?â
âMore please.â Han is becoming desperate for anything Felix will give.
âAre you sure?â Felix really doesnât want to go too fast or too far before Han is ready.
âPleaseâ Han can only get this one word out while still trying to grind his hips into Felixâs torso.
âPlease what?â Felix teases
Han can only whine, mumbling something Felix couldnât quite catch.
âBaby you have to speak up, use your words please. I canât help you if I donât know what you want.â
âTouch me pleaseâ Han whispers.
âBaby Iâm already touching you; Iâve been holding you here for a whileâ Felix teases some more, just to see how whiny Han will get.
âYou know what I meanâŠâ Han mumbles.
âMmm I donât think I do love, youâre gonna have to be more specific.â Felix smirks, knowing exactly what Han wants, but he just wants to make him say it.
Finally, Han gets too impatient, grabs Felixâs hand & places it on his hard dick. Felix starts to laugh immediately.
âVery direct I see.â Felix continues to laugh.
âStop teasing meâ Han whines.
âAlright fine, can I lay you down on the bed?â
Han nods excitedly
âAre you absolutely sure youâre ready for this?â Felix confirms once Han is laid down and comfortable.
Han nods
âAh ah, use your words please.â Felix says.
Han just whines
âI donât do anything with anyone until I have verbal consent from them.â Felix sounds very serious now.
âYes, I am ready.â Han confirms.
âAlright, if you want to be done at any point we can be. You just say the word and weâll stop immediately. No matter what. Ok?â Felix sounds slightly worried.
âLix, itâs ok. I trust you.â
Felixâs heart melts a little bit hearing those words but tries to stay focused.
âAlright, what do you want to do? How far are you ready to go?â Felix asks.
âLixie you ask a lot of questionsâ Han whines.
âTheyâre important questions!â Felix pouts
âOk fine, ask your questions but hurry up pleaseâ Han was really starting to get desperate.
âAlright, is there anywhere Iâm not allowed to touch you?â
âDonât grab my feet and weâre fineâ Han laughs.
âI wasnât planning on itâ Felix says making a slightly uncomfortable face & giggling.
âI donât think Iâm ready for like⊠sex.â Han mumbles
âThatâs fine, what do you want then?â Felix holds Hanâs hands to comfort him.
Han mumbles something completely impossible to understand.
âHannie baby you gotta speak up. Canât help you if you donât speak up.â Felix softly says.
âWanna use my mouth⊠on you.â Han whispers so quietly Felix can barely hear him.
This time itâs Felixâs turn to blush & for his ears to turn bright red.
âAre you sure?â Felix asks shyly.
âIâm sure. Want you to show me howâŠâ Han sounds very shaky.
âHow many times have you fantasized about that?â Felix teases
Han pulls Felix down from a sitting position to where heâs now laying down in the bed next to Han.
âPlease show me.â Han whispers to Felix.
âI will if thatâs really what you want to do. You donât want me to help you out first?â Felix asks while reaching down to rub over Hanâs still extremely hard dick.
Han shakes his head and sits up, pulling Felix up with him & directing him to sit on the edge of the bed.
âHannie if I didnât know you I wouldnât believe youâre a virgin with how eager youâre getting hereâ Felix laughs.
âJust because Iâve never done anything doesnât mean I havenât thought about itâŠâ Han mumbles just loud enough for it to be understandable.
âAlright alright, youâre absolutely positive you want to do this?â Felix asks for the millionth time.
âLix. If you ask me one more time if Iâm sure Iâm standing up, walking out, & taking care of things myself.â Han jokes
âI just want to make sure youâre comfortable!â Felix whines
Han leans in to kiss Felix, becoming significantly more comfortable with it now.
âAlright show me what to do Lix.â Han demands.
âMkay, if youâre gonna have me sit on the edge of the bed you gotta get on the floor. On your knees pretty boy.â Felix directs.
Han whines at being called pretty boy while making his way onto his knees on the floor.
âoo, you like that? You like when I call you a pretty boy?â Felix laughs as Han whines again while nodding.
âYouâre my pretty boy, such a good boy. So eager to please.â Felix continues while Hanâs brain just becomes more and more fuzzy feeling with every word.
âWanna be a good boy just for youâ Han says, becoming slightly out of breath again.
âYouâre doing so good already honeyâ Felix says while pulling both his pants & underwear off.
Han swears he could feel himself actually drooling when he sees Felix without any bottoms on. He just completely focuses on staring at Felixâs dick, everything else is a blur to him.
âYou stare a lot Hannie.â Felix teases, snapping Han out of his little trance.
âBig.â Han states.
âNah, average.â Felix corrects before continuing.
âYou think Iâm big youâd die at some of the guys Iâve seen.â
Han shifts awkwardly on the floor, not knowing exactly what to do now. Thankfully Felix notices quickly and gives him some more direction.
âAlright scoot a little closer. Iâm gonna tell you now, this is never easy the first time. Youâll probably take a few times to get a good feel of what to do and what works for you.â
Once Han is scooted close enough, Felix gives some more direction.
âMake sure you try your best to keep your teeth out of the way, no one wants teeth on their dick.â
âRight yea⊠what next?â Han asks eagerly.
âUsually, I start with some kissing up the thighs, kinda work my way up there rather than just going straight in.â
As soon as Felix tells him that, Han starts experimenting with some soft kisses up Felixâs thighs. This immediately makes Felix gasp softly, trying to keep focusing on giving Han some more instructions.
âSo, once youâve- ah- made your way up- mmmmâ Felix completely loses his train of thought with Han continuing to kiss his thighs.
Felix clears his throat and tries to speak again.
âOnce youâve made your way up, you can try licking the tip just a bit, suck on it a bit, donât try and take everything all at once.â Felix instructs.
Han starts to give little licks, just at the very tip, still feeling a little unsure. He gains a bit of confidence hearing Felix groan at the feeling.
âGood?â Han asks, looking for some praise or direction.
âSo good. My pretty boy doing so good for me.â Felixâs voice starts to get a little shaky just from this.
Han whines at the praise, starting to grind himself up against Felixâs leg.
âYouâre really so desperate for my praise huh? Just want my approval?â Felix teases
Han nods, starting to suck at the tip a little more, becoming more comfortable.
âWhenever youâre ready you can take more, donât go to fast and donât take more than what is comfortable.â Felix tells him.
Han gets just a bit too eager, goes a little faster than he shouldâve even after hearing Felixâs warning and gags. He pulls away a little startled, coughing just a bit while Felix laughs.
âHoney I told you to go slow, thatâs why. Donât force yourself.â
After taking a second to breathe Han tries again, much slower this time.
âGod you look so prettyâ Felix groans.
Every bit of praise Felix gives Han gets a whine and more of him grinding his hips into Felixâs leg.
âDesperate for touch huh honey?â Felix asks.
Han whines and nods, making his way as far down as he can before he hits his limit.
âDonât take more than you can love, gimme your hand, let me show you.â Felix says, reaching a hand out for Hanâs.
Felix grabs Hanâs hand and wraps it around the bottom of his dick where Hanâs mouth canât quite reach comfortably.
âHoly shitâŠâ Felix moans, trying not to lift his hips and overwhelm Han.
After about another minute Han pulls off to breathe
âGood?â he asks, still catching his breath, looking up at Felix with his soft eyes and long eyelashes.
âSo good. Youâre so good for me my baby.â Felix says, running his hand through Hanâs hair.
âWanna make you cumâ Han says, eyes almost unfocused and brain fuzzy from the pleasure.
âGod keep saying stuff like that and looking that way and Iâll cum just from your words.â
Han leans back in to put his mouth back on Felix, taking him in much faster than before now that heâs gotten more used to the feeling.
The sudden feeling of Hanâs mouth back on his dick causes Felix to grab his hair and pull a bit before letting go, nervous that he did something wrong.
âSorry baby I shouldnât have done that without asking.â Felix apologizes, panicked.
âDo it againâ Han says after quickly pulling off of Felix.
Felix grabs a handful of Hanâs hair again, fulfilling his wishes.
âHarderâ Han whines
âBaby are you sure?â Felix asks softly.
âPleaseâŠâ
Felix pulls a little harder and gets a loud moan out of Han.
âShit, you really love that donât you pretty boy?â
âLove it so much.â Han pants.
âWhat else do you want me to honey? Let me help you too.â
Han climbs back into Felixâs lap without any words, making Felix laugh again.
âBaby you have to use your words. How can I help you?â
âCanâtâŠâ Han whispers, embarrassed.
âLove how am I supposed to make you feel good if I donât know what will do it?â
âWant you to touch me hereâŠâ Han says grabbing Felixâs hands and placing them on his chest.
âGood boy, Iâll make you feel good as long as you tell me what you want.â Felix says while playing with Hanâs nipples over his shirt.
Immediately he gets a big reaction out of Han, loud moans and squirming at the smallest touch.
âWant it offâ Han whines, pulling at his shirt to get Felixâs hands closer.
âWe can do that, want me to do it pretty boy?â
Han nods rapidly, lifting his arms up.
âSo enthusiastic, so eager to pleaseâŠâ Felix groans
Once Hanâs shirt is off heâs pulling at Felixâs too, wanting to see all of him.
âMine too? You just canât get enough huh?â Felix teases before taking off his shirt too.
Quickly Felix goes back to playing with Hanâs nipples, making him whine and moan louder than before.
After a second Han hides his face on Felixâs shoulder, trying to muffle his sound.
âDonât hide, wanna hear you babe.â Felix says, pulling Hanâs hair to get him out of hiding.
âTheyâll hearâŠâ Han whispers.
âLet them hear, want everyone to know how good you feel. How good youâre being for me.â
Han moans again just at Felixâs words, grinding his hips harder into Felixâs.
âCloseâŠâ Han whines
âLet it go baby, youâre doing so well.â Felix has a hand on Hanâs chest and a hand rubbing him through his sweats.
These things combined and Felixâs words added to it made Han finally go over the edge, orgasm hitting him hard. Loud moans and whines, all his weight falling onto Felix.
âGood, did so good for me baby.â Felix says, talking Han through the wave of pleasure and rubbing a hand through his hair.
Han feels like heâs dreaming, laying in Felixâs lap with the best pleasure of his life, all things heâs only felt in his fantasies.
âHow do you feel love?â Felix asks, bringing Han back to reality.
âSo niceâŠâ Han whispers
âIâm glad honey.â Felix smiles, pulling Han closer into a hug.
Getting closer to Felix, Han feels Felixâs still hard dick under him. Realizing he never got to cum.
âWanna help youâ Han whispers.
âNo baby donât worry about me. You already did so good my love.â
âWant to. Please let meâŠâ Han asks.
âOk, back on your knees honey.â Felix says.
Han quickly climbs back onto his knees, legs slightly sore from the position but he barely even notices with how fuzzy his head still feels.
He immediately gets his mouth back on Felix, more enthusiastic than before even.
âGood boy, make sure you take it slow still, donât overwhelm yourself.â
Han decides heâll try something and circles his tongue right around the tip of Felixâs dick and twisting his hand around the base of it. This gets a super loud moan from Felix and his hips buck up into Hanâs mouth, making Han gag.
âDo that againâ Felix growls, his eyes looking much darker now.
Han does it again and gets an even more intense reaction from Felix.
âSo close babyâ Felix says, trying to pull Han off so he doesnât get too overwhelmed when Felix lets go.
âWanna taste youâ Han mumbles after pulling off for a second.
âFuck⊠if thatâs what you want then you can.â Felix says, throwing his head back to focus on the feeling of Hanâs mouth.
Another flick of Hanâs tongue and a twist of his hand and Felix is releasing into Hanâs mouth.
âYes. Good boy. So good.â Felix growls.
Han pulls off, leaving his mouth open with Felixâs cum on his tongue.
âFuck thatâs so hot. Youâre so hot.â Felix groans
Han swallows, making a face when he does.
âDoesnât taste goodâŠâ he says
âBaby you didnât have to swallow it, I tried to tell you not to taste it.â Felix laughs
âThought it would be betterâ Han giggles.
âCome on love, lets get you cleaned up.â Felix says, pulling Han off the floor to walk to the bathroom.
Felix gets Han into the bathroom and gets a shower going, pulling his shorts & underwear off of him.
âMade such a mess pretty boyâ Felix teases, seeing the cum in Hanâs shorts.
âFelt goodâ Han mumbles.
âIâm glad baby.â
They take a shower together, getting cleaned up and just feeling close to one another before going to lay down.
âHow are you feeling love?â Felix asks, holding Han close in bed.
âLike Iâm dreamingâŠâ Han answers.
âMe too honey, I never thought Iâd get this.â Felix laughs
They lay together for a bit, in a comfortable silence before Han finally drifts off to sleep.
The next morning, they wake up hearing Lee Know cooking in the kitchen.
âWhat do we tell them? Should we just keep it a secret for now?â Han asks.
âI think weâll wait a couple days before we say anything.â Felix says.
âThatâs fine with me. Letâs go see what hyung is making for breakfast, Iâm starving.â Han agrees.
The second they walk out into the kitchen theyâre met with stares from the other members before Lee Know speaks up.
âItâs about god damn time.â He laughs.
âWhat?â Han asks.
âWeâve all been waiting what, a year and a half for you two to figure it out?â Lee Know teases.
âYou couldâve kept it down a little bit though, just because we all know doesnât mean we need to knowâ Seungmin says.
At this both Han and Felixâs faces turn bright red, eyes down at the floor and moving on by grabbing breakfast for themselves. Neither one were entirely sure where they were going from here but both were extremely happy to have each other.
tags: sfw, gender neutral reader, panic attacks mentioned but not described, fluffy comforting skz, could be platonic or romantic whatever you interpret tbh
a/n: i have pretty severe anxiety struggles & skz music + content always comforts me so i thought this was a cute idea to write
!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!
Chan
dad mode
nothing will convince me he doesnât have some sort of fidget toy bag in his backpack for the members or himself & heâll let you use them too
snacks & water
hoodies for you to hide in
Lee Know
cat pictures for comfort
how can you panic when his cats are so cute?
good at creating distractions
wanna hear about the new choreo heâs making to take your mind off of whatever youâre stressed about? You best bet youâre getting every single detail.
will make your comfort food later to show his love
Changbin
strong hugs
he is loud always but if you need a minute of silence he has never been so quiet
literally will do anything you need from him, would get the moon if thatâs what you needed to feel calm and safe again
wanna snuggle with his munchlax plushie gyu? hell yea you can
Hyunjin
also a hugger like Changbin but much softer
humming & singing to give you something else to listen to and focus on
plays with your hair (even if its not that long or anything)
lets you sit and just play with his hands (this sounds so calming to me so this is literally just something I want lmao)
Han
oh boy this man is like the number one panic attack comforter out there
understands how you feel and just wants to listen to whatever you need
will share his national geographic videos and facts with you
also has a bag of fidget toys like Chan
Felix
literal sunshine put into a human
counting his freckles as a grounding technique (another thing I just think would calm me during my panic attacks lmao)
brownies, cookies, other baked goods for comfort
deep voice humming (sounds so comforting omg)
Seungmin
also letting you borrow his hoodies like Chan
just holds you (like this man is not a huge physical affection kinda guy but for you he is the biggest softie & always hugging or holding hands)
will lend you his puppy plushie like Changbin will lend you gyu
tags: sfw, gender neutral reader, !!eating disorder!!, sad but comfort (if that even makes sense, like its sad but changbin makes it better), supportive helpful bf changbin
description: reader struggles with an eating disorder after comparing themselves to the other idols changbin is around all the time, he comes in and takes care of them and gets them back into a more positive mindset and healthier habits
a/n: i'd been thinking recently about how much i love changbin & his health positivity and how much he preaches a "take care of yourself don't worry about the amount of food" kind of mindset and i just love it so much so then this idea came to mind. anyways, y'all please take care of yourselves please know that your health is so much more important than any number, any looks, anything & you are so loved just the way you are.
!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!
âOnly down 4 more pounds?â you whisper to yourself, staring at the scale in front of you.
Every week you check, and every week there is more disappointment.
Over the past 2 months youâve lost about 5 or 6 pounds a week, trying more and more to get that number to go up. Youâd wanted it to be more, trying more to get past a certain mark. Only having one light meal each day and working out more than you should. Is it a healthy thing? No, and you know that. But itâs what needs to be done in your mind.
This habit started after you went to music shows with your boyfriend, Changbin, more often recently. Youâd seen some of the other idols, admired them, saw how everyone loved them and chased after them. Consistently complimented their bodies and their looks. Youâre not sure why it got to you so much, itâs not like anyone said anything bad to you, you just wanted people to see you that way too. Maybe if you lost weight, they would look at you like that, treat you that way too, you thought.
You decided from that point youâd cut down on the amount of food you eat and increase time at the gym with Changbin. Youâd already been going with him pretty regularly, so the increase wasnât too suspicious or anything. The difficult part was hiding the fact you werenât eating more than a small meal each day. Changbin was very attentive, especially with food. Always trying to get you to try new things, share his food with you, and make sure you were well taken care of.
Youâd been able to brush him off a bit, which you felt a bit bad about if youâre being honest, and just convince him you were already full or didnât want to try what he was offering. Youâd hoped he wasnât catching on, but you started to wonder if maybe he noticed more than he let on. When youâd have food together he always started by trying to feed you first, trying to get you to have a little more, things like that.
Your secrets and plans all came crashing down in one day. It started in the morning with you going over to the dorms to hang out with the members, at this point they werenât just his friends they were yours too. Lee Know had made a special breakfast and immediately brought you some to try. The look on his face when you told him you didnât want any definitely made your heart sting a bit, he always showed his love through providing for others so when his friend didnât want any it hurt him a bit, even if he tried to hide it.
âChangbin already headed off to the gym y/nâ I.N says through a mouthful of food.
âDonât talk with your mouth fullâ Lee Know scolds.
âThanks Innie, I was actually coming here to hang out with you guys though.â You smile.
âooo, come with us to dance today?â Felix asks.
âI donât have any dance clothes with me. Iâll watch though!â you explain, trying to make any excuse to get out of it just in case it could reveal any of your bad habits.
âYou can borrow some of mine if you want.â Felix smiles at you, always a helper.
âOh⊠yeah alright Iâll go then.â You start to become nervous, damn Felix and his consistently helpful nature.
They all smile, glad to have an extra friend coming with them today. You canât help but become a bit nervous though, show any signs of weakness or any of the habits youâve created, and theyâll all know.
After everyone is done with breakfast you all get ready for dance and head off to the company. You in some shorts of yours you found in Changbinâs room and one of Felixâs T-shirts he let you borrow.
Once you get to the company some of the other members meet you there, all of them except Changbin and Chan are there, they were running late after finishing at the gym.
You all started warming up, stretching so there wouldnât be any injuries. Lee Know decides theyâll just start without Changbin and Chan for a bit and they can catch up later. They ask you to fill in one of the spots since you know almost every Stray Kids choreography.
Everything is going fine for a bit, youâre tired and itâs hard since youâve not eaten anything to keep your energy up today but itâs fine. You can work through it you think.
That is until you start to get a fuzzy feeling, the room starts to spin. You try to step to the side and sit down but itâs too late. You pass out and hit the ground, hard.
Of course, everyone immediately becomes super concerned. Lee Know stopping practice and taking charge, telling Felix to find out where Changbin is and having I.N run downstairs to the medical office in the company.
Youâre not out for long, 5 minutes maybe, but that feels like an eternity to the panicked boys.
As soon as you start to wake up you see the JYP nurse sitting on one side of you, Lee Know on the other, and Felix running back in with Changbin and Chan directly behind him.
âHyung what happened?â Changbin asks Lee Know
âWe were doing dance practice and they just dropped, weâre not sure.â Lee Know explains, moving out of the way for Changbin to take his spot sitting next to you.
âBaby what happened? Are you ok?â Changbin takes your hand, almost in tears with worry.
All of it is very overwhelming. Your whole body filled with panic, knowing that youâll have to explain something and that all your unhealthy habits will be revealed. Everyone is watching you with concern, not sure how to respond to anything.
âAll your vitals are ok, have you had anything to eat within the past 24 hours?â the nurse asks.
âUmâŠâ you hesitate, knowing you need to tell the truth, but at the same time ashamed of the truth.
âNo. I havenât.â you stare at the floor, not willing to look at anyone around you, feeling theyâre all going to be disappointed.
âI imagine thatâs the problem then. Have a good meal, get some rest, and you should be ok. Donât do any more intense physical activity without proper amounts of food and water.â The nurse scolds before packing up her things and tells you to come visit her if you have any more issues.
You nod, tears filling your eyes, no words to explain the feelings going through your body right now.
âNothing in the past 24 hours?â Changbin whispers
You canât bear to listen to his disappointment. Before anyone can react you push yourself off the floor and walk out the door.
Back in the practice room everyone has different levels of shock and confusion. No one knows how to react until Lee Know speaks up.
âWell go talk to them, arenât you going to?â He looks at Changbin.
âYeah, right, of course I am.â Changbin stands up, following Lee Knowâs instructions, as if he hadnât even had a full thought until Lee Know said that.
Changbin walks out of the practice room, walking down the hall to find you sitting at the top of the stairs, crying.
âI know youâre mad, you donât have to tell me.â You say before he can even get a word out.
âIâm not mad.â He says while sitting down next to you and grabbing your hand.
âYes you are, I made a stupid decision and got myself hurt because of it. You have every right to be mad.â
âIâm not mad.â He repeats before continuing.
âIâm concerned as hell, but Iâm not mad.â
âYou should be mad.â You say through more tears.
âNo. I shouldnât be, and Iâm not.â Changbin says, trying not to cry just from seeing you struggle.
ây/n when was the last time you had a meal? A real full meal?â
âTuesday evening when we had dinner together.â You mutter, almost quiet enough heâs not sure he heard correctly.
âBaby itâs Thursday morning. Have you had any sort of snacks or anything since then?â he asks, growing more and more worried.
âI had a piece of toast yesterday morning.â
Changbin is speechless, trying to find the right words.
âWe need to get you something to eat baby.â He says, standing up.
You nod, knowing heâs right but still too nervous to look at him.
âLee Know always keep snacks in his backpack, I could get those from him and then come back and we can talk more before we go get lunch?â He asks.
You shake your head; you donât need everyone to know everything yet.
âI canât tell them⊠theyâll be mad too.â You whisper.
âBaby I wonât tell them anything you donât want them to know. They wonât be mad at you, just like Iâm not mad at you. Weâre all just worried.â
âI wanna go home.â You cry, grabbing his hand to pull him back next to you.
âOk, we can go home. Iâll take you home, we can order some lunch to be delivered, and weâll talk.â Changbin says, wrapping his arms around you.
He picks you up off the floor, holding you in his arms before setting you back on your feet.
âIâll go get our stuff and then we can go, yeah?â He asks.
You nod and let him go to walk back to the practice room.
Once he walks back into the practice room, heâs met with a mixture of many different things. Questions, worries, and even some tears from a worried Hyunjin.
âIs everything ok?â Felix asks.
âIâm working on it; Iâm just coming to get our stuff and then weâre going home for the day.â He explains.
âWeâll keep working here, weâll stay out of the dorm for a while so you can talk.â Chan says.
âThanks, hyung, coming back around dinner time is fine.â
He takes both of your guysâ bags and heads back out to you, grabbing your hand and taking you home.
The walk home is hard, both mentally and physically. The exhaustion is still getting to you and mentally your brain wonât stop moving. Once you guys get back to the dorms Changbin leaves your stuff in his room and brings you to sit at the table, quickly ordering food to be delivered.
âHow long have you been doing this?â Changbin asks.
âA bit over 2 monthsâŠâ you admit, no point in lying to him about it now.
Changbinâs heart shatters into a million pieces at this point, his baby has been feeling this way and not taking care of themselves all this time and he didnât know.
âIâd noticed youâd lost weight, but I thought it was just because youâd been coming to the gym with me so much.â He says, his voice filled with guilt.
âBinnie you couldnât have noticed.â
âWhat changed? What made you start feeling this way?â
This question brings more tears, knowing youâre going to have to tell him the truth and confess all the terrible thoughts youâve been having is hard.
âWhen I went to the music shows with you, I saw everyone there and how good they looked and how much everyone complimented them⊠I figured if I lost weight, looked like them, maybe Iâd be better for you. People would look at me like that too.â You confess.
âBut youâre so beautiful baby, you donât need to be like them. Especially not for me. I chose you; I didnât choose them. I chose you because I want you exactly as you are.â He comforts.
âBut youâre so perfect Binnie, and Iâm just-â you start before he cuts you off.
âDonât you dare say anything negative. Youâre absolutely beautiful and amazing and I love you so much. Iâm not perfect, no one is, but thatâs ok. I donât need you to be perfect I need you to be healthy and safe, I need you to be you.â He says before pulling you from your seat at the table into his lap in his seat.
Instinctively you hold yourself up a bit, not relaxing all your body onto him. He immediately notices this and pulls you closer before speaking.
âRelax, donât hold your weight off of me, youâre so gorgeous.â
âIâm too heavy Binâ you mumble.
âNo, you are not, I lift more than this in the gym every day.â
âI was gaining too much before.â
âBaby no you were not, you were gaining whatever your body needed. Healthy bodies arenât always tiny and thatâs ok. Thatâs still beautiful.â
His words really do bring lots of comfort, even if you donât fully believe him yet. Finally, you hear a knock at the door and the food is delivered.
âLet me make your plate for you please.â He asks, and you nod. Knowing itâs probably for the best.
He sets a plate down in front of you, not an overwhelming amount of food, but enough.
âWhen youâre finished with that if youâre still hungry thereâs more.â He says
âThank you Binnie.â
âAnything for my baby.â
After you guys eat, and he very closely monitors all that you ate, you guys decide to watch a movie to take your minds off the stress of the day.
Once the movie is over he tells you that you guys need to create a plan. One day of talking isnât the end of this and you both know it.
âI want you to stay here for a while.â he asks, wanting to be able to keep an eye on you when needed.
âBinnie this is so much farther from work I canât walk all that way.â You remind him.
âYou can take my car; Iâll walk to work or take Lee Knowâs car when I need it.â
âAlright. Iâll need to get a lot of stuff from my apartment if Iâm gonna be here a while.â
âThatâs fine, Iâll make space in my closet, and we can go pick stuff up tonight.â He agrees before continuing.
âI donât want you eating by yourself for a bit.â
âBinnie I can eat a meal by myself.â You say.
âLove, please, just for some peace of mind. I want you to eat with me, the members, your family, your friends, someone just for a while. I need to make sure youâre actually eating.â
You understand where heâs coming from, agreeing that itâs probably a good idea.
âAnything else?â You ask.
âNot at the moment, if I think of something else Iâll come to you.â He says.
âI appreciate your concern Binnie.â
âI just love you so much baby I have to take care of you.â
Later that evening the rest of the members return from the JYP building, by that point youâd fallen asleep in Changbinâs room, exhausted from the dayâs events.
Changbin walks out to greet the members, asking what they got done during dance practice.
âAbsolutely nothing.â Lee know says with a slight irritation in his voice
âWhereâs y/n?â Felix asks Changbin.
âIn my room sleeping.â
âAre they ok?â Hyunjin asks, stress still in his face.
âTheyâre fine, weâll talk about it later. Why didnât you guys get any work done?â
âWhy do you think?â Chan laughs
âYou guys didnât have to spend the whole day stressing I have it under controlâ Changbin is thankful they worry about you like he does but also worried they didnât get any work done all day.
âI tried telling them that but apparently I âdonât know shitâ according to Han & Felixâ Lee Know says with an eye roll.
âHyunggg we said we were sorry for saying thatâ Felix whines.
âYeahhh we were just worried we didnât mean it.â Han agrees.
âWhatever Iâm not really offended but donât you people think that if something was a major emergency that Changbin couldnât handle he would ask for our help??â Lee Know says, sounding like this is a point heâs made about a thousand times today.
âLet it go. Weâll get stuff done tomorrow.â Chan says before anyone can reply to Lee Know.
Slowly you wake up after hearing the voices in the living room, worried about what everyone has to say, but glad theyâre home. Youâd felt a little bad basically kicking them out of their house for the day. You decide to just get it over with and head out there, any questions you canât answer or anything that becomes too overwhelming can be taken on by Changbin. Heâd already promised heâd help you talk to them.
As soon as you walk out the bedroom door youâre met with smiles and hellos from everyone.
âHi baby, did you sleep well?â Changbin asks, coming over to hug you.
âmhm, your bed is so comfy.â
The silence from everyone is a bit awkward for a second, no one knows quite what to say until Lee Know walks into the kitchen to do dishes which seem to unfreeze everyone, and they all move to do their own things.
The next couple days are slightly stressful, having to explain what happened to everyone and Changbin recruiting them to what he calls the ây/n protection squadâ. When you asked what he was protecting you from he responded very seriously with âyour brainâ which made you giggle.
Thereâs always someone there with you when you have a meal, even if you both just eat next to each other while you do separate things, thereâs always someone making sure you actually eat the meal. Itâs not easy at first, getting back to eating more than one meal a day is a slow process, so your body doesnât react too weirdly to it. The first day you ate more than 2 meals a day you got a stomachache for the rest of the day, so youâve decided itâs gonna be a slower process.
It's also a difficult process because of the stress and anxiety you still feel eating âso muchâ even though itâs a healthy amount. Changbin has forbidden use of the scale for a while, just to keep your mind off the numbers and back on the health side of it.
âNumbers on a scale have nothing to do with how you feel or what your body needsâ he reminds you when you think of weighing yourself again.
Itâs nearly a year before your eating habits are more stable and healthier again, and even at that point you can still have some rocky moments. Over that year youâve gone back to those bad habits twice, always saved and pulled back by Changbin and the other members. You still eat with someone else for about 95% of your meals, not because Changbin tells you to anymore but because he was right, it really does bring you comfort and help you finish a meal without panicking too much about it.
One of the biggest struggles came when they had another comeback, and you went back to the music shows with them. Changbin told you heâd understand if you didnât want to go but that you were more than welcome to come. Seeing some of the other idols talking about their diets and how much theyâve lost really sent you into a bit of a panic.
Youâd walked back to the Stray Kids dressing room in tears, just looking for anyone to try and pull you out. You found the whole group there, immediately you grabbed on to Changbin, explaining what had happened.
âHoney donât worry about them and what theyâre doing, ok? You do whatâs healthy for you and your body. Youâre so gorgeous and beautiful and Iâm so proud of how hard youâre working to take care of yourself.â
âWhy are you with me when you could have any of them? Theyâre better, prettier, smarter-â you start to ramble before Changbin cuts you off.
âI donât want any of them. I want you. Only you. You are special, I love you because of who you are. I donât want you to be like them, if I wanted someone like them Iâd find them. I found you because I want you.â He says before continuing.
âAnd for the record I think youâre the most gorgeous smartest best person in the world so donât you dare say theyâre better than you.â
He holds you close running a hand up and down your back. His words are comforting and reassuring. It makes you realize that heâs right, thereâs a reason he chose you and not anyone else.
âThank you Binnie, I love youâ you say, hiding your face in his chest. Slightly embarrassed to let your insecurities get the best of you in front of everyone.
âThereâs no reason to thank me baby, I will tell you these things every day until my last breath if itâs what you need to understand that I love you and youâre perfect the way you are.â
âI donât mean to interrupt but we gotta get going soon.â Chan says before everyone starts to grab their stuff from around the room.
Once everyone is packed up and ready to go you all head out to vans to go back to the dorms. The whole ride home you just think about how loved you feel. Not just by Changbin but by all the members, of course their love is in a different way than Changbinâs but itâs still love. The amount of time, energy, and effort theyâve put into helping you all this time makes you feel so good. Itâs a long road to being ok, and itâs ok to not be ok, just knowing you can ask for help and that theyâll be here to catch you when you fall is enough.
i feel like i have so many writing ideas but also none at the same time and its so frustrating lmaoo
like i have ideas for ot8 things i could write but i have ideas for like 6 members but can't think of anything for 2 of them then i come up with a new idea that works for those 2 but i run into the same problem of not being able to come up with anything for a couple members
i have too many thoughts and ideas idk what to write next omg
i'm literally just staring at a blank word doc rn trying to decide what to write in it like i've got like 4 different ideas all at once and they're all fun ideasss aaaaaa
ok i take back what i said about posting a 3rd thing tonight, it's still possible that i do that however i'm getting sucked back into reading more than writing for a bit so the chances of a 3rd post are smaller lmaoo
me actually getting around to writing?? shocking i know. 2 things posted in one day and I'm even starting on a third thing rn which I miiiight be able to finish and post before I go to bed tonight. maybe. depends on how detailed and wrapped up in it i get lmao i can write thousands of words in a couple hours if really get a good writing rhythm.
tags: sfw, nonbinary reader, afab reader, coming out, anxiety, bang chan x reader, lots of comfort & softness from Chan, all around just sweet and wholesome even with the anxiety
a/n: I was gonna write all 8 parts of this into one post and just have it be a "coming out to skz as nonbinary" post but then I got halfway through this and decided it would be far too long to put them all in one so we're starting with Chan and going from there. I'll finish all 8 at some point (not tonight but probably within the next couple weeks all the parts will be done)
!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!
You and Chan were a great couple, youâd been together for a little over 3 years now & everything was perfect. But then you started questioning your gender and in your mind everything came crashing down. After about 4 months of thinking and questioning, youâve finally come to terms with the fact that youâre nonbinary.
You had no idea what Chan would think or what to tell him. You knew that he accepts lgbtq+ people of course, you both had multiple friends that were part of the community, but that doesnât mean heâd still be interested in dating you. Your brain was just too full of all the what ifs. Everything that could change if you told him how you felt.
Finally, you decided to just rip the band-aid off and tell him. He needed to know. This was something important about you and you were honestly getting even more nervous the longer you waited so you needed to get it over with.
You picked a day when he wasnât going to be super busy, and you had the day off so you could go over to the studio during his lunch break. You picked up your favorite food on the way, hoping it could bring you some comfort and calm your nerves. The walk up the stairs of the JYP building was extremely nerve-wracking, you almost turned back about 4 times before you finally got to the right floor. Taking a deep breath, you slowly opened the studio door to find 3racha hanging out in there, an unexpected sight since Chan said he was working alone today.
âAh! y/n!â Han smiles & waves
âHey y/n!â Changbin leans around Han to wave as well.
âMy baby!â Chan giggles, excited to see you.
âoooh, food for us?â Han reaches out to the bag in your hand.
âuhh no sorry guys, I only bought for Channie & I. I didnât know youâd be here too.â
Han pouts but accepts it and moves back to where he was.
âWe were actually getting ready to head out for lunch anywaysâ Changbin says, packing up his backpack and telling Han to grab his stuff too.
âWeâll work on it more later, yeah?â Chan asks as they walk out the door, both of them nod and head on their way.
As soon as the other boys are gone youâre reminded why you came here and the nerves set in again, trying to force your whole body not to start shaking.
âwhatâs wrong?â Chan asks, immediately sensing your anxiety.
Your mind races, no words come out and you canât even think of a real sentence to start this conversation. Before you know it tears are falling from your eyes and Chan is pulling you into his lap in his chair, holding you close.
âHey, take a deep breath, whatâs going on? Talk to me pleaseâ Chan speaks softly.
You take a deep breath before finally just letting it all spill out.
âI feel like Iâm not a girl and I know you probably hate me and want to break up so I should probably just go.â You ramble while trying to climb out of his lap, expecting him to push you out any second.
âWoah what?â Chan says before taking a second to process all that information you just threw at him.
Finally, he finds the right words to respond, pulling you back into his lap fully while you continue to cry.
âHow long have you been holding all that in?â is the first question he asks, face and voice filled with concern.
âLike⊠4 months probablyâ you hang your head, feeling slightly guilty you kept it from him all this time.
Hearing that, Chanâs heart breaks. The idea that youâve been struggling all alone and feeling like you canât come to him all that time makes him hurt.
âI understand if you want to break up ChannieâŠâ you say, not knowing what to do with his silence.
âWhat?! No! Why would I want to break up?â He genuinely sounds confused.
âBecause you like girls⊠and Iâm not that.â
âBaby no I love you for you. If you feel like youâre not comfortable as a girl then itâs my job to take care of you the best I can and help you.â
You melt at his words, just curling into him closer. So thankful that heâs not upset with you and doesnât want to leave you. After a bit of silence and just trying to settle your anxiety, Chan speaks up.
âDo you want to use different pronouns?â
âI would prefer to use they/them pronouns.â
âWhat do I call you now? Like not my girlfriend anymore but what do you want instead?â
âI havenât thought about it much, I think just partner is fine.â
âAre you wanting to change your name?â
âNo, Iâm ok with it now.â
Chan pauses, thinking of more questions that could be important.
âShould I just say baby now instead of baby girl?â
âYeah Iâd like thatâ you get a little shy, just loving that he loves you so much and cares about how to make you comfortable.
He pauses again, obviously thinking about something.
âWhat is it Channie?â
âEarlier this week, I called you a good girl when we were uhm yaknowâŠâ he trails off, ears red with embarrassment.
âChannie just say it pleaseâ giggling and rolling your eyes about how he has no shame when you guys actually have sex but afterwards he canât even say what you did without looking like heâs going to burst into flames from embarrassment.
âYou know what I mean. But when I said that you kinda like, zoned out or something. Took a second to get you back in the moment I mean. Is this why?â
âYeahâŠâ You feel bad because you really do love the praise, just not the gendered portion of it.
He sighs, disappointed in himself more than anything. He never wants to make you feel uncomfortable so knowing he did, and he didnât even think much about it makes him mad at himself.
Noticing his sadness, you try to comfort him a bit.
âChannie thereâs no way you couldâve known it would make me uncomfortable you say that all the time, how are you supposed to suddenly know?â
âI shouldâve noticed babe; Iâve been your boyfriend for 3 years I should be able to tell when somethingâs changed.â
He pulls you even closer, if thatâs even possible at this point with how tight heâs holding you, and just takes a deep breath before talking again.
âShit I probably sound like this is all about me and how I feel, Iâm sorry my baby itâs not about meâ he apologizes.
âNo no itâs ok Channie I understand what you meant; I know this is an adjustment for you too.â
The two of you continue to sit together in a comfortable silence for a while before you hear footsteps and the door opening with Han and Changbin returning to work again.
âEwww get a roomâ Han jokes, seeing you in Chanâs arms.
âUh believe it or not this isnât your studio.â Chan reminds.
âTechnically they had a room already.â Changbin points out.
âAy woah Changbin hyung youâre supposed to be on my side.â Han whines
âNow why would I do that?â
âAlright alright quit whining Iâll let you guys workâ you say, starting to get up before Chan pulls you back down quickly.
âDonât leave yet babyâ he pouts.
âChan you guys have work to do.â You scold while laughing.
âI can work while youâre here.â He argues.
âBullshit you cannot.â Changbin points out.
âYeah hyung last time you tried to work with her here it took like a week longer to get the song done.â Han agrees.
Chan notices you cringe just a bit at Han referring to you as âherâ, running his hands through your hair to comfort you a bit before leaning down and whispering to you.
âDo you want to tell them? Should I?â
âYou please⊠I canât do it all again myself today.â
Chan clears his throat before speaking up over Han and Changbin who had moved on to some other random topic.
âActually, Hannie itâs them, not her.â
âHuh?â Han had completely forgotten anything heâd said more than 30 seconds before
âYou said her, referring to y/n. They actually use they/them pronouns now.â He tells them.
âOh, sorry y/n!â Han smiles
âCool, good to know.â Changbin says before they move back to their conversation.
You smile, hiding your whole face in Chanâs chest, just so overjoyed that your boyfriend loves you exactly as you are, and his friends are cool with it too. You know heâll take care of you and protect you no matter what against anyone and it makes you feel so safe and warm inside.
SKZ when you kiss them in front of the other members
tags: sfw, ot8, gender neutral reader, skz x reader, just soft no major warnings needed :)
a/n: i was gonna write full scenarios for all of them but then i just... didn't idk. i'd still like to tho so if y'all want that lmk (tho i might write it anyways)
!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!
Bang Chan
ears & face get super red.
instantly very giggly and embarrassed, tries to hide so fast.
heâs always their strong leader so the members seeing him getting any affection or being babied in any way, even something as small as a kiss makes him kind of freeze.
Lee Know
cocky mf
loves showing off
wants everyone to know youâre only for him
honestly would probably embarrass you before you embarrassed him
Changbin
biggest ego boost istg (as if he needs it)
would maybe get embarrassed sometimes but most of the time he just stands there with that goofy smile like âyup, this is all for meâ
starts trying to get kisses from you while other people are around just bc he likes looking big and strong in front of everyone.
pouts if you wonât give him affection while others are around anymore, gets super dramatic and whiny, stuff like âyou must be ashamed of me :(â even though he knows youâre not
Hyunjin
shy like Chan, super flustered, tries to hide
complete opposite of Lee Know where he really doesnât want to show off, wants to keep that kind of stuff all to himself, only for him even if it is just a kiss
would pout to you about it later if the members tried to tease him at all
Han
kisses all day every day from this man
itâs a regular occurrence to kiss in front of the members, it doesnât even faze you, him, or even the members anymore
honestly would be more pouty and sad if you say you wonât kiss him in front of the members
âbut baby they see stuff like that all the time :(â
literally the biggest baby, give him kisses or heâll be sad
Felix
kinda like Lee Know, wants to show off
he knows you look good & he does too, once he knows youâre willing to give him kisses in front of them, he wonât hold back
getting ready for a show? kisses. standing in the kitchen making dinner? kisses. just sitting on the couch doing nothing? kisses.
mans love language is touch and he makes that 100% clear
Seungmin
in the most positive way, he does not care either way
like he wonât be upset if you donât kiss him in front of them but heâs not shy either
anyone makes any teasing comments to you about it heâd instantly be in protection mode
âshut up leave them alone, not their fault you have no oneâ
protective bf Seungmin omg
I.N
Shyyyy babyyy
The members tease him for literally anything, pls let the man live omg lol
âah baby what are you doingâ while hiding his face
Hand holding is as far as he will go in front of his hyungs
literally just rambling on here tbh i promise i'll post real writing soon (like within the next 30-45 minutes hopefully as long as i don't fuck it up on accident lmao)