🌞

im sunny! NY.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

Why all his outfits slapping tho

[actualbird]

my parents who have been married for like a billion years are having their billion year anniversary in a few days and theyre renewing their vows. they put me in charge of planning and program and emcee-ing and they told me to “have fun with it” so heres my first two slides of the program

[dawningcrow]

Saturday destroyer

[sneakyfeets]

[ed-longshanks]

actually fucking despise sex scenes in movies

[ed-longshanks]

just fucking pan away or fade to black dont make a whole movie theater uncomfortable just cause some producer or director needed an excuse to see an actress's tits

[devpalmer]

my sister found this garfield candle at a flea market so we lit him up and watched his waxy corpus melt away into primordial ooze

[beatlesweatles]

[bunjywunjy]

Pelican mouth purse look soft

put valuables IN pelican MOUTH!!! For safety and safekeeping please and thank you

[spencerthespacer-deactivated202]

[guardgomabroa]

#Oh grug  #We’re really in it now

[theladymisandry]

[apoemaday]

To Margot

by Walter de la Mare

When I go free, I think ‘twill be A night of stars and snow, And the wild fires of frost shall light My footsteps as I go; Nobody–nobody will be there With groping touch, or sight, To see me in my bush of hair Dance burning through the night.

[humansofnewyork]

“Grandma once broke up a knife fight in the neighborhood. She was quite proud of that. She kept the knife in a drawer as a trophy, and would tell the story to anyone who’d listen. Grandma was also very Italian. And very Catholic. She loved watching mass on the television, rosary in hand. And she loved the lottery. Big, big fan of the lottery. She was always on the lookout for numbers to play. Inspiration could come from anywhere: license plates, street numbers, radio stations. Then every night she’d watch the numbers roll out on Channel 8. But she hardly ever won. She used to split her winnings between her grandchildren, and it was never much. A couple bucks here and there. I remember getting $10 one time. Grandma was 89 when she passed away. On the day that she died I found a penny wedged into the sole of my shoe. Just a coincidence, I’m sure. But then I start finding pennies everywhere. But they’re pennies, right? They’re supposed to be everywhere, so maybe I was just grasping for signs. My academic advisor knew I was feeling sad, so she suggested that I study abroad. Of course I wanted to go to Italy, but even with scholarships it was like $10,000 more than regular tuition- so I didn’t even want to ask my parents. Fast forward a few months to Grandma’s birthday, when my family forces me to go to a remembrance mass. I’m not super religious so I’m sitting there the whole time thinking: ‘This is such bullshit.’ But then that night I had the craziest dream. I’m at a Cumberland Farms gas station near my house, scratching off a lottery ticket, and suddenly I start laughing because I won a bunch of money. The next day I text my friends that we’ve got to buy a lottery ticket. And when I met up with my friend Cassie after work that night, we headed straight to Cumberland Farms. I bought one lotto ticket. $5 Diamonds. I’d barely ever played before, and I’d certainly never bought a $5 scratch off. As soon as we got back to the car, I grabbed a penny and started scratching. Beyonce’s ‘Halo’ was playing on the radio. When I get to the third row of numbers, BAM. I had a match. $10,000. Enough to cover one whole semester in Florence.”

[filmnoirsbian]

Actually REAL wingwoman work is when you're a lesbian flight attendant and a middleaged man thanks you for his drink and catches your arm very gently and flirtatiously says "My name is Devon," and you say "Ok" and walk away, and then after the flight as he's leaving the plane he catches your other flight attendant and asks her what your name is and without skipping a beat she says "She doesn't have one."

[humansofnewyork]

“I have two sons with the same condition. But Connolly had the toughest road, because he’s the oldest. And he had to figure everything out himself. I think it was around 4th grade when kids started calling him ‘Baldy’ on the playground. Some days he’d come home crying and say things like: ‘‘I miss my hair.’ That’s when the mama bear would come out. I wanted to fix the problem so badly. I knew a couple of the kids who were responsible, so I wanted to go to his school and speak to them. Never in a punitive way, but just to give them some information. But every time I offered, Connolly would tell me that it wasn’t necessary. He’s always been so self-assured, so he’d promise me that he was OK. His mind changed on the day when he wasn’t picked for a team at recess. He’s one of the most athletic kids in his class, so he knew it was for other reasons.  And on the way home from school, he told me: ‘I’m ready for you to come in now.’ We worked together to make a presentation. There were four different classes in his fourth grade, and we gave a speech to each of them. We stood up there together. I spoke first because I wanted to get out a few key pieces of information: ‘Alopecia is an autoimmune disease where your body rejects your hair. It’s not cancer. And it’s not contagious.’ But after that we’d open it up to questions, and that’s when Connolly took over. He’s such an outgoing kid. He started calling on all his friends. And wouldn’t you know—the kids who had picked on him were the ones raising their hands the highest. After that day, all the negative comments stopped. He finished elementary school without an issue, and he’s moving on to middle school with a strong group of advocates. My main worry now is his younger brother Damon, who just started kindergarten. He’s a bit more reserved than Connolly. He’s so sensitive and tender in that little boy way. And one day he came home crying because one of the kids had called him ‘Baldy.’ Connolly walked over, put his arm around Damon, and said: ‘Don’t worry, you’re just dealing with people who don’t understand.’ Then he turned to me and said: ‘I think it’s time we all gave an alopecia talk to Damon’s class.’”

[diver-up]

u all ever lose the ability to socialize in the middle of a convo like.... ok i’m done now there’s no more words in here brain shutting off

[that1bandguy]

[ryebreadgf]

[opossumgrl]

i really am an animal exhibiting behaviors

[library-mermaid-blog]

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.