Home of the Brave

"Hey there, dudes! Name's Alfred, but my friends call me Freddie." [indie APH America sideblog based on personal interpretation || Semi-Seletective || OC-Friendly || written by Kathy]

[supersizedass-archive]

I got a new tattoo! Isn’t it, like, the best tattoo you ever saw?

[dontgetmadgetrevenge]

Looks kind’a extra to me.

[supersizedass-archive]

But you didn’t deny it was the best!

[supersizedass-archive]

I got a new tattoo! Isn’t it, like, the best tattoo you ever saw?

[supersizedass-archive]

While Alfred's enjoying a nice lunch in the park, there's a man there with his family, all enjoying a nice barbecue, but there's far too many sausages for everyone! So he offers some to Alfred, who graciously accepts, because no way this boy is going to say no to free food. Once he's home, he hears someone behind him, and swears they say "you know they line sausages with big intestine?" and as he turns around, he sees the man who broke into his house, along with Amy, who is gutted and very dead.

He woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily as he tried to hold in the tears. He is definitely not going to be eating any sausages for awhile.

[hailcolumbia]

supersizedass:

[He soooo doesn’t believe you, but he is willing to drop it for now.]

Uh-huh, so are you fine enough to eat some Mickey D’s. I got your favorites! Or we can watch some of your favorite TV shows, wrestle, anything you wanna do is up for game!

[here she’ll release him]

I’m not really hungry right now. [listen, when someone pretending to be your brother brings you drugged food you kinda get a little paranoid] You can have it, if you want. So, um… [fidgets] What’re you doing here anyway? 

[supersizedass-archive]

Ya’ sure about that? No take backsies! [shh he don’t know that tho] I felt like coming by to see the best sister any guy can have of course! Plus, I missed you. 

And well.. I got this feeling that something happened with you and wanted to make sure you’re alright.

[hailcolumbia]

supersizedass:

[Oh no sibling sense are going off. He must help his precious sister.]

I love you too, Ames. Now tell me what’s wrong? This is so unlike you, not that I’m complaining, but y’know.

[tight hug] 

Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. 

[supersizedass-archive]

[He soooo doesn’t believe you, but he is willing to drop it for now.]

Uh-huh, so are you fine enough to eat some Mickey D’s. I got your favorites! Or we can watch some of your favorite TV shows, wrestle, anything you wanna do is up for game!

[hailcolumbia]

@supersizedass (x)

[Buries her face in his chest bc :( ]

I love you so much. 

[supersizedass-archive]

[Oh no sibling sense are going off. He must help his precious sister.]

I love you too, Ames. Now tell me what’s wrong? This is so unlike you, not that I’m complaining, but y’know.

[hailcolumbia]

[Look have a Freddie come and knock on the door.] Ames! It's your favorite brother coming to visit. [♥♥♥] -supersizedass

[glances at Waffles who is excited bc a person!! here!!!! for him!!!!!!! before she lets him in] 

[and then throws her arms around him and hugs him so fucking tight] 

[supersizedass-archive]

[!!!] [This wasn’t what he expected, but he is quick to hug her right back. Making sure not to squish the Mickey D’s he brought with him. He got all her favorites.]

I’m glad to see you too. 

[bloodycrumpets]

supersizedass:

[He came by to visit but now he is going to just]

[Slowly back away]

[Good. He wouldn’t understand anyway :’-(]

[Actually.]

Hey, buddy. Kraft is an American company, right? Think you could get me in touch with the CEO? Or their head of marketing? Or whoever it is who is in charge of pricing.

[supersizedass-archive]

[OH GOOD-- It’s not what he thought was it was. He should really just stop assuming but it’s so hard not too.]

Yeah, it is! Located in Northfield, Illinois. [Smiles at him] I don’t think you can change the pricing, but I can see if they’d be willing to meet? You’re basically in the same situation as Hawaii and Alaska, they’re overcharged as well...

Hawaii more than Alaska.

[supersizedass-archive]

PASS THE NATION

America: Pass the salt.

Scotland: *throws England across the table*

[bloodycrumpets]

Alright. How many dicks have I got to suck to get Freddos down to a reasonable price?

[supersizedass-archive]

[He came by to visit but now he is going to just]

[Slowly back away]

[hailmyself]

supersizedass:

[smiles at him] Yeah, it was nice meeting you.

[You’ll try so hard, but in the end. It won’t even matter because you ain’t getting any.]

Have a good night.

[He nods to him before leaving] [he tried so hard]

[supersizedass-archive]

You too!

[BYE-- Never come back pleae.]

[supersizedass-archive]

....

.....

TFW you wanna get laid but you have morals that won’t let you have meaningless sex.

[thetygre]

July 3rd, 11:59 P.M.: This country is a festering cesspool of corruption, ignorance, and violence. Every achievement is built on the backs of millions of dead. The Founding Fathers-

July 4th, 12:00 A.M.:

July 5th, 12:00 A.M.: -would shake their heads in shame if they could see the state of this nation.

[hailmyself]

supersizedass:

Thank you. It was, uh, interesting to meet ya’.

[Nah son you ain’t getting anything of this American pie]

It’s been a pleasure. I do hope we cross paths again.

[Maybe not, but damn is he gonna try]

[supersizedass-archive]

[smiles at him] Yeah, it was nice meeting you.

[You’ll try so hard, but in the end. It won’t even matter because you ain’t getting any.]

[hailmyself]

supersizedass:

Get back to closing the shop.

[but Bad Vibes™]

Ah, right, right. I’ll let you get back to that then.

[I’LL GET U MY PRETTY… N’ UR CUTE BUTT, TOO]

[supersizedass-archive]

Thank you. It was, uh, interesting to meet ya’.

[Nah son you ain’t getting anything of this American pie]

[hailmyself]

supersizedass:

I’ll think about it, but I must get back to work.

[He wants to the offer but mmmm Bad Vibes]

I thought you were closed forever–

[but……… the hot bod……….]

[supersizedass-archive]

Get back to closing the shop.

[but Bad Vibes™]

[hailmyself]

supersizedass:

Of course I do. [Pauses] It’s been awhile though.

If you’d ever like to go out, I know lots of neat places.

[Thumbs up]

[supersizedass-archive]

I’ll think about it, but I must get back to work.

[He wants to the offer but mmmm Bad Vibes]