?????? @supmynameisuseless - Tumblr Blog

PSA FOR EVERYONE WRITING HEATED RIVALRY FANFIC:

First off: I love you!! thanks so much!! But we need to get a few things straight.

1. Canada has provinces, not states. Please please make canada accurate, it matters to us a lot these days to be distinct from the US.

2. Canada has universal health care. See above. This is for the shane mpreg that has him paying his bills for years. Giving birth here is free guys

3. The PWHL was established in 2023. It’s not very old.

4. This is the most important and most misunderstood. Not blaming anyone bc if you didn’t already know hockey you probably wouldn’t know about this. Basically:

In the NHL, there are two conferences: western and eastern. Each of the conferences sends 8 teams to the playoffs. There’s more to it, but that’s for a different day.

Until the finals, each conference is ONLY playing itself. This means that the finals are always between a western team and an eastern team.

And why is this important?

Because this means Ottawa will never play Montreal in the Stanley cup finals! Guys I know it makes for good plot and hurt/comfort but. Hate to break it to you but it would never happen. I know it’s fiction but i’ve read like 10 fics now that have Ottawa playing Montreal in the finals. Guys they’re both in the eastern conference 😭😭 I know it’s not that important but hockey rules are a pet peeve of mine ok

#heated rivalry #this has been a psa #nhl hockey #adding that one to piss off brady tkachuk

breaking news i haven’t posted anything in a year and now i’m back to do nothing except thirst after the guy i work with because I NEED AN OUTLET OKAY

anyway he’s really hot

#he told me cool shirt on thursday #he has really beautiful hair #and forearms #and hands #omg his hands are so nice #hhhh

ishkabibblethings

anxietyproblem

boyplushie

[ID: a Maslow's hierarchy of needs with all three needs (basic, psychological, & self-fulfillment) filled in with a dark red. white text on the triangle reads "no one else being in the kitchen when i'm in there" /end ID.]

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

Second of all, even if it was, and people ‘gave diabetes to themselves’, it’s just not funny! Who gave you the right to make fun of a literal disabled person just because you think they deserve it because they ‘brought this onto themselves’? that’s fucked up! All types of diabetes have a genetic component, and specifically for type 2 diabetes, you don’t know that person’s circumstances. Recent studies are showing links between type 2 diabetes and poverty, as sugary overprocessed food like fast food is cheaper and sometimes more accessible. And once again, there’s still a genetic component.

‘that’ll give you diabetes’ jokes are just not funny. They’re insensitive, and as a type 1 they’re just a constant reminder that I have a disease that is heavily misunderstood and weighs on me every day. I’ve heard like 10 in the past week and just now heard another one and it was the last fucking straw. DON’T MAKE THEM.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

unsolids-your-snake

As someone with four diabetic family members who has to regularly test AND has gestational diabetes with a risk of it being permanent

I don’t fucking get it lmao it’s jokes

This would be like me pissing my pants over blind jokes bc I’m nearsighted as hell. I make them myself smh

Like I fully respect individuals not wanting to hear this and wouldn’t joke about it to them if asked, but “doing this is horrible” is kind of an overly broad declaration imo. Some people enjoy humor

butchlinkle

I don’t know how to put this delicately, so: if someone says to you “this is hurtful to me for these reasons” and you respond with “well, it doesn’t upset me so i think you should suck it up and they should be allowed to continue saying hurtful things”, then you may perhaps be a little bit of a dickhead.

I don’t think it’s especially difficult to grasp the reason why someone might be hurt by people constantly implying their own disabilities are some moral fault of their own that they should have just ~tried harder~ to prevent.

Of course no-ones experiences are universal, but it costs no-one to be kinder and more considerate of others now does it?

How can you claim to “fully respect individuals not wanting to hear this” and in the same breath discredit someone venting about this asking people to stop doing it?

Hard to believe you have any respect in you if you can’t even respect OP and decided that the best course of action to someone explaining why these comments are hurtful was to insult them by saying they have no sense of humour.

unsolids-your-snake

Listen pal this post just showed up on my dash yelling at me not to make a joke bc it’s badwrongmean and I disagreed with that statement.

I can state that I’ll just not make those jokes to people who don’t want me to because I don’t mind avoiding making people uncomfortable with my humor; I still think the jokes are generally fine to make.

You just hear shit you don’t like sometimes, it’s life. If someone stops when you ask, then they respect your boundaries. That’s more important and realistic than them being scared to put a toe out of line in case they offend someone by accident when they don’t yet know such a boundary exists.

If anyone wants to make posts nobody will ever disagree with, use the private post function. Or a diary.

turtleduck-inc

if someone says to you “this is hurtful to me for these reasons”

@butchlinkle already out the gate this is incredibly disingenuous. there’s a massive difference between someone personally asking me to avoid a topic and someone going on a public website and throwing a bitch fit in front of thousands of people about how no one should ever bring up a certain topic in a humorous fashion.

it’s perfectly fine to ask people close to you to be mindful of sensitive topics, though even then it’s up to their courtesy whether they respect your wishes or not. if they won’t be, it’s up to you whether you want to curate your social circle to surround yourself with people that will. if, on the other hand, you think it’s in any way a good idea to sit there and demand - not ask, demand, like a bratty child - that the whole god damn world bend to your whims of what is acceptable to joke about, you’re in for one hell of a disappointing life because that is the most naive, narcissistic bs i’ve ever heard.

unsolids-your-snake

Fucking exactly this thank you Jesus Christ

“How can you say you’ll respect an individuals direct request if you don’t want to get blasted by broad declarations from a stranger that you’re doing something horrible!?”

Easy lmao

supmynameisuseless

@cyan-opinions

I can’t help but notice that you have not responded to my explanation as to why you are wrong. I also notice that your blog is almost entirely made up of you making fun of other people’s opinions and saying they’re stupid without solid logical arguments.

As I have said before: My problem is not with diabetes jokes in general!! Diabetes jokes can sometimes be funny: however, the ones that are 1. factually incorrect and 2. fatphobic are just not funny and also hurtful to the diabetic community.

@turtleduck-inc

This conversation isn’t even about disability to you guys anymore: it’s about shitting on me and being allowed to say whatever you want. I was angry when I made this post: I don’t think I was any more angry than you guys got at me for making it. If I was a “bratty child having a bitch fit” I think it’s reasonable to apply that to you too.

And yes, I may be an optimist for wanting some basic respect. I don’t think that makes me a narcissist. Sure, maybe I will be disappointed sometimes, like right now. But I believe all people can have compassion and I believe the human race is not garbage and you can’t change that.

unsolids-your-snake

I’m not gonna apologize for doing chores and not sitting by my phone like a dog to respond when you whistle. The sheer fucking entitlement lmaooo you’re a joke. I don’t have anything serious to say to anyone like that. Bye

supmynameisuseless

lol it was just because you responded to someone else on the same post but not me. bye <3

heheeeee I’ve been found by the ableists I wonder how long it’ll be before it gets worse :)

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

unsolids-your-snake

As someone with four diabetic family members who has to regularly test AND has gestational diabetes with a risk of it being permanent

I don’t fucking get it lmao it’s jokes

This would be like me pissing my pants over blind jokes bc I’m nearsighted as hell. I make them myself smh

butchlinkle

Of course no-ones experiences are universal, but it costs no-one to be kinder and more considerate of others now does it?

How can you claim to “fully respect individuals not wanting to hear this” and in the same breath discredit someone venting about this asking people to stop doing it?

unsolids-your-snake

Listen pal this post just showed up on my dash yelling at me not to make a joke bc it’s badwrongmean and I disagreed with that statement.

If anyone wants to make posts nobody will ever disagree with, use the private post function. Or a diary.

turtleduck-inc

if someone says to you “this is hurtful to me for these reasons”

unsolids-your-snake

Fucking exactly this thank you Jesus Christ

“How can you say you’ll respect an individuals direct request if you don’t want to get blasted by broad declarations from a stranger that you’re doing something horrible!?”

Easy lmao

supmynameisuseless

@cyan-opinions

@turtleduck-inc

#ableism #disability #diabetes #actually diabetes #actually diabetic

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

supmynameisuseless

I’ve mostly been replying to the negative things people said to this in order to educate them, but I want to take a moment to appreciate all the overwhelming positive responses! So many people agree and have helped by spreading the word, and some even learned from this. So thank you <3

Even if it looks from my blog right not that there’s a lot of negative responses, those are the only ones! I think I counted a total of five. Out of 25 000 notes now. That’s pretty amazing, I think. It makes me happy every time a fellow diabetic agrees :))

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

unsolids-your-snake

As someone with four diabetic family members who has to regularly test AND has gestational diabetes with a risk of it being permanent

I don’t fucking get it lmao it’s jokes

This would be like me pissing my pants over blind jokes bc I’m nearsighted as hell. I make them myself smh

alaija

“ Recent studies are showing links between type 2 diabetes and poverty, as sugary overprocessed food like fast food is cheaper and sometimes more accessible. “

So people shouldn’t link diabetes and consumption of sugar even though diabetes is linked to the consumption of sugar (I suspect potato is a factor with fast food)?

High blood pressure and high cholesterol have genetic components, so we shouldn’t link them to the respectively risky foods….

I have a family history of all three. Go me!

supmynameisuseless

@alaija

I never said diabetes was completely separate from sugar consumption: just that it is not the only factor by a long shot, and that people may not have control over their food for various reasons, including financial. Also, the fact remains that a single donut will not give you diabetes. The same is true for the other conditions you listed.

Besides, I’m not a doctor. I’m just a random person on the internet who wants the misinformation and ableist/fat-phobic jokes to stop. As I said in the original post, even if it worked that way, it would still be insensitive to joke about it.

@cyan-opinions : yes humour is good but stick to the funny jokes! I myself make jokes about diabetes a lot to cope, but they are accurate ones and in good taste because I know what I’m talking about. The same might be true about your diabetes jokes and blind jokes, I don’t know you personally so I don’t know. There’s a reason most comedians mostly use their personal experiences. There are so many jokes out there to choose from, so why choose one about an illness that is not funny, inaccurate, and hurtful?

thank you for reblogging, even if you disagree with me <3

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

davesshitpost

😂 the fact that you’re trying to say diabetics are disabled people. Wtf

I’m type 1. I don’t give a shit if you make jokes. Literal everyone has blind spots, things they’re ignorant about because it just doesn’t make sense for them to be learned about things outside of their own realm of experience. Idc. That’s just how the world works

supmynameisuseless

Granted, I made this post when I was very frustrated and perhaps was harsher than i could have been about it. The definition of a disabled person is:

(of a person) having a physical or mental condition that limits movements, senses, or activities.

I would argue that having diabetes limits at least activities, and can have complications that can lead to limited movements and senses. Also, in my country, diabetics get disability tax breaks, and I am in the process of applying for academic accommodations for diabetes in university. However, regardless of this, I think being educated on things outside yourself is basic compassion. I don’t expect everyone to know the scientific intricacies of diabetes, but I do find it reasonable to ask for respect.

Look at all the replies of people who have been made to feel bad because of the jokes. I think it’s reasonable to ask people to stop making them.

Thank you for reblogging <3

#diabetes

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

bluejaywalker10

this but sans the permission section. thanks people who don’t have diabetes didn’t need condescending permission to reblog information

supmynameisuseless

Haha someone asked if they could reblog this before it blew up, and this was my response. Now, it just happens to be the version that comes across everyone’s feeds! Thanks for reblogging <3

supmynameisuseless

I’m so fucking sick of diabetes jokes. They’re everywhere, like people somehow think it’s ok to make fun of a disease like that.

“that’s got so much sugar, it’ll give you diabetes!”

first of all THATS NOT HOW ANY TYPE OF DIABETES WORKS.

supmynameisuseless

This is 100000% ok for non diabetics to reblog I would appreciate that very much

gooses-trenchcoat

my grandma has diabetes. idk which type i never asked. but she is a great person, and very healthy. she and my granddad really enjoy walking and they walk a lot. they are therefore very fit. my grandma constantly is aware of what she is eating and what is in it. she eats very healthily.

i don’t know for certain but i find it hard to imagine that before she had diabetes she wasn’t like that. because that’s her personality. sure she probably has to be more conscious now of her diet than before but that’s it. she’s a nice, sensible, healthy person, and she has diabetes. i don’t see a joke anywhere in that

supmynameisuseless

to answer your question in the tags: type 1 diabetes and type 2 diabetes can both develop at any age, but type 1 is more common to get when you are younger and type 2 is more common to get when you are older, and is the one associated with risk factors. Aside from that you are pretty much correct and more educated than a lot of other non-diabetics. It’s amazing to see how far this post is reaching!! thank you for reblogging <3

#diabetes

inthetags

reblog and put in the tags where you rate, height-wise, within your family and/or friend circle

#Most of my friends are taller than me #Not all of them tho #I'm the shortest in my family :(#Even with my baby brother who is 4 years younger :(

hurtyknees

Petition for Venom to eat Jeff Bezos

screamingatsquirrels

@grimthetransman

grimthetransman

Thanks for the info! That's a great tool!

arctic-hands

[Image Description: tiktok by tempestuo. It's a shot of someone (face unseen) sitting at a table that has a large cup of Baja Blast with a "D" on the lid. Beside the Baja Blast is a case where a little device lies. This may be a regular diabetes blood sugar testing device, but I don't know enough about diabetes tech to know for sure. It's captioned "'Please triple check that it's zero-sugar Baja Blast'". The person points at the lid and says "See D for diet Baja Blast?". The person then grabs a little tube from the case and takes out a little strip. "Let's see if it's diet," they say. The video is then captioned "Cashier: 'Don't worry I checked'". The person inserts the strip into the device and turns it on. They then grab the straw out of the cup and has it drip Baja Blast on their hand. "Watch," they say. They then take the device and dip the strip into the drop of Baja Blast. They wait a few seconds as the test loads. They then hold it closer to the camera, where we can see in big numbers "251". "Nope!" they say. The caption then says "Yo Taco Bell, this is attempted murder [[upside down smiley emoji]]" End video.]

sanjanas-blogs

Hello moots!

Starting a loop, tagging mutuals who actually deserve the BEST!

And hopefully they tag other mutuals and continue the loop!

You guys deserve the best <3

Tagging- @ambrosia-and-nectar @mycroft-microsoft @astra2111

itsastrabitches

Thanks for the tag!! uwu

Tagging: @weiwuxianstan @nymphadorathebubba @chirons-tail-curlers @lemongrass404 @gayassperson @ sanjanas-blogs @mycroft-microsoft @nomynamedoesnothaveay @simpingforwillsolace @sassychaostrash(who used to be @lazyshepherdalmondeggs smh) @ambrosia-and-nectar @xx0yeet-everything0xx @deepestpersonspyknight @perleo-firewater @galaxylightmoon @xxbeccajaexx @biracialpercy @this-is-it-its-tea-time @percicosimp @justonemorechapternicercy @that-percico-bitch

girlboss-nahi-girlbas

Thank you sm !!! <333 *cries with happy tears*

Tagging:

@nousheen @constellations-x @cwossiants @loonyloopylupin5 @longlivelupin @reggiesswimteacher @hopeful-hufflepuff-peeves @remadora-rules @the-second-tonks @fierre-dont-you-dare @lauralestrange7 @pani-puri @deez-artz @toomanynotifications @regulusblackinskirts @levwillcommitarson @mariax28 @society-of-elfish-welfare @goingthruphases @nevilleismywhore @acciorxses @remuslupininskirts

Y'all deserve so much more <33

reggiesswimteacher

thank you so much oh my gosh :’) i hope you all have a good day<33

tagging:

@infinite-moths @daisiesandearlgrey @spinninghunkofspacerock @amerithluv @pittsie @maisietheweltoncow @yer-erster @thegetawaycarherself @regulusblackinskirts @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask @cliffside-letters @anderperryshit @starsaroundmyscarz @knoxiousmybeloved @roonilwazlibweasley @padfoot-supremacy @kingreader @poetofthedyingstars @vague-agricultural-crimes @sweatytootheddeadpoet @pxdfoott @deadpoetsgayvodka and more<3

daisiesandearlgrey

omg I feel so special thanks for tagging me <3333

anyways here you go I’m so sorry if I forgot someone but I love you all

@oranjedrurgen @oowhitneyoo @hiptolazed-crazedabstractionists @h0lyheck @eggastential-biscuits @definitely-not-30-fucking-rats @courtnecromancer @summerfly-lesbian @undermedicatedghosthunter @carnivalseb @faeriemxst @luxscientiae @throughheavenlyeyes @thepondstogether

thepondstogether

Thank you, lovely!

I know I’m bound to forget people but here! Hope you’re all having the best day bc you deserve it. 💗

@chaoticeddie @illusemywords @prince-of-places @justasmallbloginabigklainefandom @intergalactic-bean @biderwebs-and-skeletons @siobhanroygf @yorit1 @carpe-noctvm @permetstu @olympain @divineandmajesticinone

intergalactic-bean

TYYYYY! you also deserve the best :) ur v cool

tagging (sorry if I forget someone): @mr-loverbee @fckingchile @untitled-seven @netflixismysalvation @just-things-i-thought-up @fudgemutt @i-do-random-things-do-not-ask @chaot1c-phoen1x @moony-likes-hot-choc @queenofthesquids @reaperlight

who-has-the-thyme

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you! *uno reverse card*

tagging off the top of my head: @bradfordpearsandangrybears @julestopher @suki-is-a-queen @chicken-nugget-overlord @chaot1c-phoen1x @yeti-zeus @nullink @jehans-flower-pot

yetizeus

awww thanks bestie <33333

@bojanglesmcduff @wackeyewayne @macjaket @rat-all-the-stars @sspoookyy-damian-janus-pendragon @vwampwires-uwu @merevide

bojanglesmcduff

omg tysmmmm and right back at ya <3<3

@yeahhiyellow @mohitoma @wackeyewayne @dilfcryptid

inventor-of-aggravated-assault

☺️☺️<3333333

@owlscbooks @yeti-zeus @bojanglesmcduff @ohboy-herewegoagain @dorianeinar @sockiesock @supmynameisuseless @ready2rumble @thbn-anything @mistythegenderqueermess @hobbledhobby @crescent-oreo-icecream

supmynameisuseless

makfjdkdjfkfkd you too i love you sm

sadoeuphemist

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.”

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.”

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?”

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

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