“ JOHNNY ” @supposedly-passed-soldier - Tumblr Blog

Right, another pussy.

-🦑

You clearly do not know who I am.

I do. You're just another John, a dickhead, who happened to be evil.

Well I can’t say if any other Johns are dickheads. Apparently they’re quite good men. Caring and shit.

And I wouldn’t say I’m evil either…

Not to everyone. Trust me.

You're working for the Lords, what else are you?

Interesting.

And…well, it depends who you ask. I’m purely doing my job.

Say, you have the choice to get out of there, are you going in for it or not?

It’s very unlikely I’d get a chance out.

Then why do you think I asked that question?

Curiosity?

You sound like my old bosses with that.

And truly for all I have been aware, no chance. Guess you found some way?

I have. Took me two decades, sacrificed my past identity and someone else's life to succeed. So I'm saying it's not impossible to do. Unless, well, you're as hard-headed as Wiley.

Didn’t think it would be.

Would you tell me how? I might not do it, but I am curious, I’ll give you that.

My arrangement is quite difficult to get out of, too. I don’t know if yours was, but…the Lords are quite skilled on that aspect.

Oh no, they're dirty fucking players. Fooled me into another "deal" without my knowledge. But I was able to do whatever it took to exploit the loophole, that is being a different person entirely.

I could tell you all the details, if you want.

That is typically their game.

I’d love to hear the details.

Well, as you might know, most of the time, Wilbur is the one to go through that portal, though my Wilbur was different, he worked his way up for more than a decade to get a promotion.

[All to look for a dear friend he met along the way, before he went insane]

Possesed a dead body, collected a few children's gifts...eventually Wiley and the person he took over fused into one, and then there I was.

Ah…I see.

I honestly didn’t know he did any of that. Or could…do anything like that.

I suppose...his obsession brought me here, heh.

Seems so…

Quite interesting indeed…

It's Omen, by the way. I'm not serving the Lords anymore, but I can be quite unforgiving when it comes to hurting my loved ones.

Wouldn’t blame you. I’m quite the same.

Even was before all this change.

What change?

Going through the portal, Wiggly…being himself and attacking me, nearly dematerializing…and probably more at this rate.

Well, glad to see you're still somewhat there. Though, to be honest, aside from your appearance, I still wouldn't see much of a difference between you and John. In my timeline, atleast.

Well, that’s some relief.

Most notice the differences though, compared to other versions of me. Not that I mind, though the comparisons are annoying.

I get that. Sometimes I don't wanna be compared to what I was in the past. Despite the resemblance and everything.

Where are you currently? May I take a closer look at you?

I can understand. It’s…weird. In my case, people want me to go back to who I was. They don’t get it’s impossible.

And currently outside of Beanies, shit coffee place but at least I have a free area to smoke as of now.

Well, you get me and I get you. Even though we're not on the same side anymore, it still doesn't mean I'm already a good person.

Mind if I have a smoke with you?

We can understand each other and not be on the same side.

And I would quite like the company.

See you in a few then, Johnny? Do I call you Johnny?

Yeah, you can call me Johnny

Perfect.

[Johnny can see a tell man with long green hair and red aviators approaching Beanie's and passing by him without batting an eye to get a coffee inside. Only when he gets his order does he look for the man, taking out a cig and standing next to him]

Sick fit.

“Same to you.”

Johnny was in full denim, an eyepatch over where one of his eyes used to be. It made him look a bit more…normal. Though he definitely wasn’t anywhere close to it.

You're...Johnny, right?

[He says his name with a bit more emphasis]

“That I am, wonderful to meet you.”

[His mood immediately lightens up as he smiles]

Oh! Nice to finally meet you in person. I usually don't recognize people the first time we meet, but I'm sure I can now tell you apart from everyone next time now that I can get a feel of you.

“I look…quite different, at least I believe. You are also quite recognizable too. It’s good to meet you in person.”

Thanks, though I don't really recognize people by their looks, just by how they feel. Which is why what happened must be a bit awkward for you...

[He frowns]

Oh, fuck me, I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?

I don’t mind. To either. Don’t worry

Well then...

[He finishes his cup of coffee, throwing it in the trash before extending his now free hand to shake]

The name's Omen.

Johnny reaches out to shake his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, Omen.”

Thanks. I hope you won't have to lay a finger on my kin so we can stay on good terms.

“I won’t unless any of the Lords give me an explicit order. Would rather stay as intact as possible.”

Good.

“Very. I try not to hurt people unless needed. Or ordered.”

You're already much better than that asshole Wiley. I mean, I don't mind murder, but you know what I mean.

“That I do. Apparently I still have the thing where I don’t fully follow what people want me to. Or whatever. Helpful in some situations.”

Better than being fully brainwashed, if you ask me.

“Probably. Others would say different though…”

Most of the time it's because they were actually brainwashed. I should know.

“Ah…fair.”

Have you already been promoted, by the way?

“I don’t exactly know if promotions exist with the Lords…”

If you've pleased them enough, they will. That's what my Wiley had done, climbed all the way to the top.

“From what I’ve heard, he’s always been a favorite.”

I suppose...I mean he was quite clever, hiding his true intentions for a long time.

“Doesn’t surprise me. Wil’s always been clever like that.”

Yeah...it's a shame I only got like...half of what he's capable of.

@supposedly-passed-soldier

“Surprising. Guess he never showed all he can do. I’d like to see it.”

[He looks around awkwardly]

...uhh, you'd have to look for another Wiley, then.

“Hm. Maybe…”

[Hes…watching. His eye is following Wilbur. He looks so familiar but so different all at once]

[Wilbur is out and about, looking for a new job that is enjoyable enough but had nothing to do with the military. Being in PEIP was already stressful enough before the incident, and he's certain he won't be welcome if he did come back.

He walks out of the kennel, seeing as it's the best choice he has at the moment, when he spots the figure from a distance. Wilbur furrows his brows, not daring to step closer to it. His instincts tell him to walk away. Maybe it'll get bored of observing him eventually]

John wouldn’t blame him for wanting to be away from PEIP. He himself is quite glad that’s he’s managed a decent separation since his own incident.

He isn’t sure how much he wants to make himself known, but he’s interested in the other, wanting to know how he’s different from the few other Wilbur Crosses he’s met. He follows him around too, sticking to places where he won’t get caught as easily, even though he’s quite obviously noticeable, at least with the tentacles that drape from his back and the whole triple-denim getup.

[After catching a glimpse of the unnaturally long limbs, he sighs. He wished he would have kept them, as they are quite handy. And there was no doubt that it was his jacket the man was wearing. It certainly isn't Wiley, judging from the body type. Just who is it? Wilbur briskly walks back home to Willa's house before it even gets a chance to attack him]

He has no plans to attack, not yet at least. Though he does stop him in his tracks, walking in front of him.

Wilbur is met with a version of John who looks to be straight out of hell, missing an eye and covered in scars along with the other things. It looks unnatural. Inhuman. Granted, John wasn’t all that human now anyway.

[He stops, trying not to get intimidated by him, no matter how similar he looks to John. Wilbur wants to say something but it's unsure about what]

...that's my jacket.

[One that he stole from Holloway, but he still considers it his own]

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”

John shrugs, smiling.

“Not even surprised it’s me? Just missing your jacket?”

I am a bit surprised, but what else did I expect from a timeline like this?

“Things definitely are strange, I’ll give you that, Wil.”

From what I've seen, you're relatively normal.

And I don't plan on joining anyone's side as of now. I've decided I should finally retire.

“Normal? Me? Damn you’re a first to say that.”

He looks a bit uncomfortable at the concept of being called normal, certainly he isn’t and hasn’t been for so long. He messes with his jacket again to keep his hands busy, not looking in Wilbur’s eyes.

“Good. Get out of that shithole.”

You don't like how Wiggly runs things sometimes?

“I was talking about PEIP. But I would prefer not being attacked for caring for versions of you.”

It's fine. I stopped caring for any version of you as well, anyways. Talked to John recently and...he's a prick.

“Hm…didn’t know that was possible. For either of us to stop caring, I mean.”

It's usually harder on your end. Excluding you, of course.

“Seems I have a bigger heart. Or something. You’re quite important to versions of me, and my you is incredibly important to me. Got me into PEIP, mentored me, nearly protected me from the portal before our superiors denied him.”

I'm terribly sorry for what happened, but now that it's done, just keep on moving forward. That's what I always said to myself when I was still in your place.

“Not your fault. We’re not even from the same line of time. I’m just glad I haven’t been given orders against you…but it’s harder than you think to separate from them.”

Oh, I know how it is. It can be tedious, but if you play your cards right, you can take advantage of your situation.

“You can? Really?”

Was that so hard to figure out?

“No. Just didn’t think it was easy. But maybe my situation is different.”

Having just a sliver of free will might do the work, to be honest.

@supposedly-passed-soldier

“Potentially…I’m not completely sure.”

You won't find out if you never try.

“Remember what I’m dealing with here, Wil.”

[Hes…watching. His eye is following Wilbur. He looks so familiar but so different all at once]

John wouldn’t blame him for wanting to be away from PEIP. He himself is quite glad that’s he’s managed a decent separation since his own incident.

He has no plans to attack, not yet at least. Though he does stop him in his tracks, walking in front of him.

[He stops, trying not to get intimidated by him, no matter how similar he looks to John. Wilbur wants to say something but it's unsure about what]

...that's my jacket.

[One that he stole from Holloway, but he still considers it his own]

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”

John shrugs, smiling.

“Not even surprised it’s me? Just missing your jacket?”

I am a bit surprised, but what else did I expect from a timeline like this?

“Things definitely are strange, I’ll give you that, Wil.”

From what I've seen, you're relatively normal.

And I don't plan on joining anyone's side as of now. I've decided I should finally retire.

“Normal? Me? Damn you’re a first to say that.”

“Good. Get out of that shithole.”

You don't like how Wiggly runs things sometimes?

“I was talking about PEIP. But I would prefer not being attacked for caring for versions of you.”

It's fine. I stopped caring for any version of you as well, anyways. Talked to John recently and...he's a prick.

“Hm…didn’t know that was possible. For either of us to stop caring, I mean.”

It's usually harder on your end. Excluding you, of course.

I'm terribly sorry for what happened, but now that it's done, just keep on moving forward. That's what I always said to myself when I was still in your place.

“Not your fault. We’re not even from the same line of time. I’m just glad I haven’t been given orders against you…but it’s harder than you think to separate from them.”

Oh, I know how it is. It can be tedious, but if you play your cards right, you can take advantage of your situation.

“You can? Really?”

Was that so hard to figure out?

“No. Just didn’t think it was easy. But maybe my situation is different.”

Having just a sliver of free will might do the work, to be honest.

@supposedly-passed-soldier

“Potentially…I’m not completely sure.”

Right, another pussy.

-🦑

You clearly do not know who I am.

I do. You're just another John, a dickhead, who happened to be evil.

Well I can’t say if any other Johns are dickheads. Apparently they’re quite good men. Caring and shit.

And I wouldn’t say I’m evil either…

Not to everyone. Trust me.

You're working for the Lords, what else are you?

Interesting.

And…well, it depends who you ask. I’m purely doing my job.

Say, you have the choice to get out of there, are you going in for it or not?

It’s very unlikely I’d get a chance out.

Then why do you think I asked that question?

Curiosity?

You sound like my old bosses with that.

And truly for all I have been aware, no chance. Guess you found some way?

I have. Took me two decades, sacrificed my past identity and someone else's life to succeed. So I'm saying it's not impossible to do. Unless, well, you're as hard-headed as Wiley.

Didn’t think it would be.

Would you tell me how? I might not do it, but I am curious, I’ll give you that.

My arrangement is quite difficult to get out of, too. I don’t know if yours was, but…the Lords are quite skilled on that aspect.

Oh no, they're dirty fucking players. Fooled me into another "deal" without my knowledge. But I was able to do whatever it took to exploit the loophole, that is being a different person entirely.

I could tell you all the details, if you want.

That is typically their game.

I’d love to hear the details.

Well, as you might know, most of the time, Wilbur is the one to go through that portal, though my Wilbur was different, he worked his way up for more than a decade to get a promotion.

[All to look for a dear friend he met along the way, before he went insane]

Possesed a dead body, collected a few children's gifts...eventually Wiley and the person he took over fused into one, and then there I was.

Ah…I see.

I honestly didn’t know he did any of that. Or could…do anything like that.

I suppose...his obsession brought me here, heh.

Seems so…

Quite interesting indeed…

It's Omen, by the way. I'm not serving the Lords anymore, but I can be quite unforgiving when it comes to hurting my loved ones.

Wouldn’t blame you. I’m quite the same.

Even was before all this change.

What change?

Going through the portal, Wiggly…being himself and attacking me, nearly dematerializing…and probably more at this rate.

Well, glad to see you're still somewhat there. Though, to be honest, aside from your appearance, I still wouldn't see much of a difference between you and John. In my timeline, atleast.

Well, that’s some relief.

Most notice the differences though, compared to other versions of me. Not that I mind, though the comparisons are annoying.

I get that. Sometimes I don't wanna be compared to what I was in the past. Despite the resemblance and everything.

Where are you currently? May I take a closer look at you?

I can understand. It’s…weird. In my case, people want me to go back to who I was. They don’t get it’s impossible.

And currently outside of Beanies, shit coffee place but at least I have a free area to smoke as of now.

Well, you get me and I get you. Even though we're not on the same side anymore, it still doesn't mean I'm already a good person.

Mind if I have a smoke with you?

We can understand each other and not be on the same side.

And I would quite like the company.

See you in a few then, Johnny? Do I call you Johnny?

Yeah, you can call me Johnny

Perfect.

Sick fit.

“Same to you.”

Johnny was in full denim, an eyepatch over where one of his eyes used to be. It made him look a bit more…normal. Though he definitely wasn’t anywhere close to it.

You're...Johnny, right?

[He says his name with a bit more emphasis]

“That I am, wonderful to meet you.”

[His mood immediately lightens up as he smiles]

Oh! Nice to finally meet you in person. I usually don't recognize people the first time we meet, but I'm sure I can now tell you apart from everyone next time now that I can get a feel of you.

“I look…quite different, at least I believe. You are also quite recognizable too. It’s good to meet you in person.”

Thanks, though I don't really recognize people by their looks, just by how they feel. Which is why what happened must be a bit awkward for you...

[He frowns]

Oh, fuck me, I forgot to introduce myself, didn't I?

I don’t mind. To either. Don’t worry

Well then...

[He finishes his cup of coffee, throwing it in the trash before extending his now free hand to shake]

The name's Omen.

Johnny reaches out to shake his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you, Omen.”

Thanks. I hope you won't have to lay a finger on my kin so we can stay on good terms.

“I won’t unless any of the Lords give me an explicit order. Would rather stay as intact as possible.”

Good.

“Very. I try not to hurt people unless needed. Or ordered.”

You're already much better than that asshole Wiley. I mean, I don't mind murder, but you know what I mean.

“That I do. Apparently I still have the thing where I don’t fully follow what people want me to. Or whatever. Helpful in some situations.”

Better than being fully brainwashed, if you ask me.

“Probably. Others would say different though…”

Most of the time it's because they were actually brainwashed. I should know.

“Ah…fair.”

Have you already been promoted, by the way?

“I don’t exactly know if promotions exist with the Lords…”

If you've pleased them enough, they will. That's what my Wiley had done, climbed all the way to the top.

“From what I’ve heard, he’s always been a favorite.”

I suppose...I mean he was quite clever, hiding his true intentions for a long time.

“Doesn’t surprise me. Wil’s always been clever like that.”

Yeah...it's a shame I only got like...half of what he's capable of.

@supposedly-passed-soldier

“Surprising. Guess he never showed all he can do. I’d like to see it.”

A hand is placed on John’s shoulder, with the figure behind him leaning in close to his ear. There’s no breath that might tickle at the ear, when the creature talks.

“You aren’t him. Who are you?”

[ @previously-missing-in-action /nf ! ]

John froze for just a moment. He didn’t know how to react, only looking over with his one remaining eye.

He eventually relaxes, expression chsngign to one of confusion.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Nails dug into John’s shoulders. Wiley wasn’t going to play around here, not with a man that paraded such a face around but was so.. Different. Horribly different. Its face twisted up into a slight snarl, like how a dog might.

“You aren’t supposed to reside in a place like this.”

Its other hand moved to the man’s chin, gripping it and having a look over the man’s face. Its eyes narrowed.

“What are you. Answer my question.”

“I’m actually absolutley supposed to be here. If I wasn’t, I would have been dematerialized by now.”

He winces when his face was grabbed, his eye narrowing as he glares straight back.

He’s well aware of what he looks like, and how different he has to be from who he was before the portal, from any other version of himself.

“I’m John MacNamara, disciple of the Lords in Black. They’ve taken to calling me Johnny. And to answer what exactly am I…probably similar to you. Definitely not fully human anymore though. If the tentacles that shot out of my back years ago are anything to show.”

“I’ve seen versions of you dematerialise before.”

Finally, the hand moved off John’s shoulder. Only to go up and dangerously poke near the eye instead. “You look different, I’ll give you that.” It mumbled, hand now moving to roam over John’s cheek. Pinching at it. It knew about other worlds. Other Johns. It’s seen plenty, of course. But.. Never something so different.

A mirror to Wiley, after all.

“You are like me.” It commented, eyebrows raising slowly. “First of your kind, I’ll be honest. I can’t believe you’ve started using that nickname I give you for your actual name. Because He is calling you that. Adorable, really, Johnny.” It finally let go of him completely, adjusting its denim jacket idly.

He flinches at first, a hand going up to protect his remaining eye. He didn’t move it away for a while, not until Wiley started talking again. And only then did he relax.

He wasn’t a biggest fan of the touch, it was so different. Not exactly a bad kind of different, just weird.

“I take you like that I’m different? That one version of me finally joined you and our Lords instead of fighting a fight that he’d never win…?”

He feels a sense of pride when he’s complimented and called adorable. And being called the first of his kind.

“Johnny’s a real good choice, I gotta praise you. Real sweet.”

“I do like it.” It’ll have to get used to more company around, that aren’t The Lords or some stray sniggle wandering around. “All I’d critic is the lack of a second eye. I think you’d look lovely with some vibrant green ones.” It shrugged.

“Oh, and an outfit change. Get something more.. Well, better. Less that, more professional for people like us.” It winked. And yet, despite finding the same fondness for John like it always had.. It just didn’t feel like John. “Sport some denim on that wonderful body of yours, maybe a touch of green. Glad you haven’t changed your hair, that’s always been my favourite part about you.”

It only grinned at such praise. “Johnny just fits you. Good that you could embrace it with this better life.”

“Unfortunately Wiggly decided he wasn’t too fond of me originally, the eye was gone before most of anything else went. All before I joined him of course.”

He adjusted his outfit, things that once belonged to his own Wilbur paired with military attire, the supposed protective suit torn, barely even anything anymore.

“If you could get me anything new, I’d happily wear it. And no worries, I’m keeping my hair.”

He offers a smile, face flushing just barely at the praise.

“Thank you for the compliments. And might I say, you look wonderful yourself.”

Wiley let its eyes roam over John, taking in the man’s appearance. After all, they aren’t going to rip eachother’s throats out like dogs. They were, most likely, allies or merely neutral with each other. Maybe more. Who knows. It really needed this John to get out that military as soon as possible.

“If it’s any help..” It began, gesturing at the single green eye it had, the iris slightly glimmering. “..I haven’t taken out my other eye and put the second green one in. I could find it for you, see if it’ll work in your ol’ socket. Might do you some good, being at your best. Besides, we’ll match.” It winked at him.

Slowly, Wiley slips the denim jacket off its shoulders. It offered the piece of clothing to John.

“I’d almost say you’re flirting with me there, Johnny.” And yet, Wiley winked at John anyway. It’s not going to pass up at that.

“If it’ll fit and work, I’d definitely be appreciative of having both eyes again. I’m used to just the one now but it was hell at first. Wiggly definitely was…something…when we first met.”

His face is close to red now, as much as his body really allows. He doesn’t know if it’s because of old memories or Wiley’s kindness or something else, but he genuinely likes the other.

He takes the denim jacket after shedding the destroyed “suit”, if it can even be called that, wrapping up in it. It fits wonderfully, and Wiley’s met with a fanged smile.

“Maybe I am…Do you want me to flirt with you?”

“It’ll fit. It’s just an eye, after all.”

Wiley didn’t need to imagine what Wiggly had been like. It had experienced something similar, after all. Just.. More mild. Maybe it’ll consider itself a favourite. “Well, it’s good that He kept you alive. Be grateful for that. Some would be discarded and killed without even a glance at them.”

Once John put on the jacket, its hands moved out to adjust and feel at it. It stepped closer. “It certainly looks amazin’ on you, Johnny. Better than myself. Definitely keep it.” It pat at John’s chest momentarily. “Makes you look more frightenin’.”

It looked away, as a hand snaked around John’s waist. Pulling the man in closer. A grin danced along its lips.

“I wouldn’t mind it, darlin’.” It commented, gaze sliding slowly back to the man. “You and your Wilbur were close, and I have the same history with mine. So, it’s a no brainer here. Besides, how could I stay away if you look so handsome?”

“Definitely a good thing to still be around, I’m not taking that for granted.”

He smiles softly, his eye staying on Wiley, letting it adjust the jacket on him. He holds it back, just for a moment, at least. It was nice, as was the jacket itself. Made him feel safer, too. Plus it looks nice.

“I’d love to be with you, handsome. And you’re right, really is a no brainer when I’m with a wonderful man”

“Keep it that way. You’ve been blessed with a higher purpose by The Lords.”

It’s almost ideal, having a version of John that was on the right side. That he wasn’t snivelling away for PEIP and meddling in plans. But.. Even so, this still isn’t it’s John. The one Wiley valued, despite seeing him as a challenge. Even if it’s hard to tell who that was, when it’s seen a few of them before. And, could it trust this one? It should. But it couldn’t, not immediately.

“Oh, you just flatter me Darlin’.” It hummed, keeping John close as it gently spun them around, like a small waltz. “Do tell me, what other experiences have you had? You might be like me, but we aren’t the same. Besides the before-portal bullshit. Just tell me some experiences you’ve had as.. Well, Johnny.”

John couldn’t help but smile up at it. Things were better like this, with Wiley, serving the Lords. Hell and pain he went - and is - going through aside. He’ll live, he has no doubt about it. And now he has someone to stick with, someone he cares for deeply.

He chuckles a bit as he was spun around, sticking close to Wiley.

“I should…probably skip the nastier parts. Though I’ll say dematerializing is..something. More painful than expected. And Wiggly can’t exactly get human limbs perfect.”

It’s easy to see at least on one of his arms, it looks…wrong. It looks like heavily scarred human flesh but also not at the same time. It functions perfect, at least.

“Being dragged around timelines sure is something too. Never thought I’d kill any innocent people, but I did. Wasn’t…as bad. Maybe because the Lords were there. Who knows”

It’s obvious there’s still a part of his old self still there, maybe it will never leave.

“Oh, but He would try. That’s all we can ask of Him.” It hummed. “It’s either recreating them in imperfect vision of human limbs, or stealing from corpses. You’d hate to have arms that don’t match in length.”

Wiley’s unphased by the idea of nastier details. It’s pulled out its own eye to put in a green one. It’s seen horrible things, before the portal and after devoting itself. “I’ve watched one of you dematerialise before. Not you, of course. But another.” It can remember such a thing clearly, the stare he was given. “I didn’t think you’d be dragged around to timelines, the way you act. You would’ve known to grab clothing off a certain someone. Maybe even had some particular fights to lock in a timeline’s fate.” And yet, it merely shrugged. Unbothered in its own words.

A hand moved to drag down, fingers trailing over the scarred not-quite human flesh. From afar, it might. But, looking closer, it’s hard to miss the details that are simply off.

“You’re soft. Too soft. Too human, still.”

It commented with a mild sting of disdain. “Whoever you get sent after should not be considered innocent. The Lords demand you of something, you will do it without regret. Do not think of anyone as innocent. Carry out their bidding without a second thought.”

“Pretty glad for what I have. Even if I quite literally have claws…and if it’s…odd.”

He shows Wiley his nails, truly looking more like claws. They’re stained with blood.

“I got thrown around at first. To separate me from who I was, from my home timeline and who I had, from the old values. It…partially worked. Wiggly wasn’t too happy with me early on.”

Even with everything, a lot of his old self remained. He hated it. He wasn’t who he was back then.

“I know they’re not. I was just saying…back in the day, they would’ve been. I know what I have to do. But sometimes killing isn’t easy.”

Nor is facing a version of Wiley that looks at him with pure hate and disgust, on order.

But he did what he had to.

“I hate it. Being like I used to. I shouldn’t be.”

He doesn’t know how to express it, wrapping up in the denim jacket a bit.

The hand moved from John’s arm and to his nails instead, idly picking at the blood stuck underneath. If it could, anyway. They’re stained, not like they would be pickable.

“But sometimes killing isn’t easy?” It echoed after John, scoffing. “Of course it would be, if you cared about that. But you don’t. You shouldn’t.” It insisted, hand suddenly snaking up and moving to grab the man’s chin. Wiley’s nails digging into his skin. “You need to get that fixed. Because if there’s any sort of doubt, any sort of wavering loyalty? There will be no hesitation for Him to rid of you.” It snarled.

“And if He rids of you, I will kill you at His request.”

There’s the smallest flicker of fear in his eyes. He doesn’t want to die. He’s come close enough too many times. And he…technically can’t die. Unless it’s by the Lords’ hands. Or Wiley’s.

“It’s not about any wavering loyalty.”

It’s a big hard to talk, with Wiley’s nails digging into his skin hard enough it hurt.

“I don’t know why I am like that. I shouldn’t be. Only people I care for are myself and my Wilbur. And now you. The Lords are a given.”

He shrugs, seeming almost defeated, his eye stuck staring at Wiley. He knows he isn’t supposed to be like this. Nothing should matter but the Lords.

But he always was one to follow a higher decree.

Goddamnit.

Nails dug deeper, stabbing into John.

“You shouldn’t care for anything except The Lords. Not me. Not Wilbur. Nothing else. Allowing such a thing outside of who your devoted for is giving way to weakness. To being soft. To being human.” It snarled at him once more, teeth showing off and glinting despite any specific lighting source. “You need to remember you aren’t human. Wiggog Himself has made you more. Separated your existence to those pathetic creatures and has changed you. Do not act like those whiny creatures.”

It yanked John’s face closer, so they both were mere inches apart. “Maybe there’s a reason for only one Johnny being around.” It whispered, before pushing his head away and letting go at the same time.

Wiley’s hands now dusted at its own body, exhaling slowly, despite not even needing to breathe.

“I always did follow a higher decree. Apparently that didn’t change.”

He mumbles and rubs at his face. He’s sure Wiley’s nails left marks in his cheeks. Not that it matters.

“Forgive me though for caring about you. And the man who is a big part of who I am. It doesn’t make me too human.”

He looks defeated, the tentacles he’s been hiding wrapping around himself, under the denim jacket he refused to take off still.

“I can do my job well. Despite it. In spite of it. You haven’t seen me work.”

He doesn’t need to breathe either but his chest feels tight. He hates it. He probably just ruined anything he had with Wiley, not that it was much.

“You need to change that. Because that higher decree should ceased to be followed.”

It adjusted its shirt briefly, before side-eyeing John. “No, you care about a version of me. You’ve only just met me, John.” It answered, face returning to neutrality. “I do love you. Or, my John. Who I would kill when The Lords will eventually demand it. Even if he currently lives because of a deal we have, and I don’t swindle or cheat my way out of a deal. But that doesn’t get in the way of my work and life. It doesn’t get in the way of The Lords.”

It shook its head slowly. “I fear until I see you work, I will always believe you to be too human. I feel like Wiggly made a poor choice with you.”

“He didn’t make a poor choice. It doesn’t matter if I care for Wilbur or not. Or the damn higher decree that’s probably just in my nature at this rate.”

He looks hurt and defeated all at once, too obvious with his emotions. He never really learned how to rein them in, even under the Lords. Which…wasn’t too great.

He wanted to get rid of that fact, wanting to be perfect. For Wiley and the Lords. Prove he’s like Wiley, not a pathetic human. Hell he wasn’t even human anymore.

“If it matters I had to face a version of you in my first timeline outside of my own. It didn’t go too well, but I did what I had to do. Did what was ordered.”

It haunts him, but he won’t say that.

“Only time will prove me right.”

Wiley stepped back in close, a hand going to rest lightly on John’s chest. Not grabbing, not pushing away.. Just resting there.

“Tell me, Johnny, what did you do to him? I want to know all of those nitty and gritty details. Know how exactly you killed him and how you watched the light seep from his eyes. I want to know every single little detail that you might chicken out on saying. I want you to describe it, without missing a beat.” It grinned at him. “Because why mention it so vaguely, Darlin’? Don’t go teasin’ me on this.”

“You know our importance to each other. In every timeline. Might as well mention it.”

His eyes drop to his chest, to Wiley’s hand. He reaches for it without thinking, holding it in place. He almost swears his heart speeds up. He can’t really remember if he actually has a heartbeat or not.

“It wasn’t all that gorey. And I don’t remember it all either. I got thrown into a random timeline under orders to eliminate as much of PEIP as I could. Starting with Wil. Apparently I didn’t exist there…or something, which made it easier? I don’t know. Still had the military uniform and the gun. Still got the gun now really…”

He’s rambling, trying to get his words straight, claws tapping on the back of Wiley’s hand.

“I could’ve been worse to him. More than gunshots in the head and heart, like PEIP once ordered far back. It was weird to watch. I wasn’t thinking until it was done, and I saw him die. Couldn’t do anything, didn’t do anything. Just watched the light go.”

It was so early then, he still recalled all the PEIP training. And at least that Wilbur’s death was quick. Better than anything he could’ve done. Damn Wilbur being too important to him.

He’s focused on their hands instead of Wiley’s face. It’s a better focus point.

Wiley expected nothing to beat against its hand, to feel a lack of a heart rather then actually feel one. Its hand flexed, as if ready to pull away. But didn’t.

It didn't even listen, glancing down at its hand. The slight clink of those odd claws against it. A bizarre but oddly nice sensation. Only catching a few sentences or words from John's rambling. Eventually, its head raised to meet John's gaze once more.

“He didn’t do anything? No fighting back against you, no pleading for his life?” It wouldn’t expect a man like that to plead, of course. It expected better of him, even if he’d die. “Didn’t do some sappy shit and say I love you before you shot?”

Its free hand moved to John's chin, bringing it up gently to meet its eyes.

“Did you regret killing him?” It questioned, eyes staring without even a blink. Wiley's expecting one specific answer out of him.

“He…did. I ignored it. I had to.”

He looks up at Wiley’s his face was held, his hand still holding Wiley’s other one.

“He begged and pleaded, said this wasn’t like me. Said he’d do anything. But…had to follow orders.”

His fingers tap again against Wiley’s hand. It helps him a bit. He doesn’t know his he feels about killing that version of Wilbur. He never thought about it. He just says “No,” looking right in Wiley’s eyes.

“He sounded pathetic, then. Begging for his life. He should’ve done something, more than that.” It shook its head, letting go of John’s chin. It’s satisfied with the results it got. It didn’t move the hand against the other’s chest yet.

Even if Wiley didn’t fully believe him.

“I still think you’re too soft. Too human. But you’ll get there.” It moved the free hand to pat at John’s shoulder. “Hell, I’d even call you weak.”

“I’m not weak.”

John didn’t let go of Wiley’s hand either, holding it tight.

“I’m not fully like you yet but that doesn’t make me weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.”

Its nails now pressed against John’s chest, digging in through the fabric. Its eyes narrowed. “I fully think you’re weak, because you still have connections from your old life and haven’t let that go. Your life is The Lords now. Leave Wilbur in the past. Care only for the beings you devote your new existence to.”

Nails dug in more. “I don’t think you’ll be able to leave that behind, however. And it’s weakening you and preventing you from being a man like me. A proper disciple.”

“I’m not weak.” He sounds like he’s convincing himself, too, barely wincing as Wiley’s nails dig into his skin.

“It’s not my fault. You can’t tell me you’re still not connected to your version of me. Disciple work or not, we both know what we’ve been to each other. It’s not so easy to let him go like that.”

As much as he’d want to, he can’t. Wilbur’s been incredibly important to his life for nearly all of it. He can’t just…abandon that.

“I can be a good disciple and still have that connection. I’m not weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.” It wasn’t going to let go of that opinion anytime soon.

“I am not connected to him. You make it sound like I’m still in a relationship with him. I am not. I am not Wilbur anymore. I am not the man he fell in love with and trained with, before stepping into the portal. I am not the man who whispered sweet words to him over a shared cigarette. I am not the man who saved his life multiple times, and him to me in return. Not anymore.” It snarled, nails going to rake down slowly until its hand was wrapped around John’s neck. Tightly holding it, but not squeezing.

“I am not Wilbur, and I will never return to being that man. I am Wiley, Wiggog’s disciple and aid to The Lords. I may have been Wilbur before my full devotion, but he is dead. Even if we were the same person. It’s always easier to consider him a seperate entity now. I have embraced my new life and left my old one behind.”

It paused, teeth baring at John like a dog. “And yet, you hammer on about a connection that is supposed to be dead as disciples. We follow a higher being, we do not love a creature that is a part of PEIP. That seek to destroy The Lords and the holy beings they are. So, yes, you are weak.”

He stayed silent for a while, eye wide as he stared, focusing on its face.

“I know you’re not the same man. Neither of us are the same we were. I really only have the holdup when it comes to Wil. Devotion to our Lords is there and has been since Wiggly saved me from dematerializing. Maybe I just need something to snap me out of that ‘weakness’ you think I have.”

He never saw his care for Wilbur as weak. It was just a fact of his life, caring about the man who made him into who he was for so much of his life. The care rarely ever stopped him from his work and orders anyway.

He reached for the hand on his throat, grabbing it but not trying to move it. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t just rip its hand off him.

“I despise PEIP for all they’ve done. To our Lords and us. No matter what, that’s never changing.”

“I don’t feel like you do.” It gave a small jab at John. “And, honestly Johnny, you’re still real similar to your counterpart of that supposed good version. Even if you devote now.”

The muscles in its arm flexed once it’s grabbed, finding it odd that it’s not immediately moved or taken away.

“And don’t you despise them enough to want to burn them apart? Destroy them all, in the name of our Lords? It’ll do nobody good to have them just sitting around.”

He nods. He wants to get rid of PEIP, frankly he has even before the portal. But coming back after everything, on pure accident, cemented it. Care for Wilbur or not, he can still hopefully destroy that shithole. Maybe save Wilbur from the destruction.

Damn him having a heart.

“PEIP deserves to be destroyed. We both know it. They’re horrid, and they go against us and our Lords.”

John still doesn’t more Wiley’s hand. His hand is just resting on its hand, claws just slightly digging in.

“I don’t know why I still have a heart like I do. Even if I’m not weak…or like to think I’m not…it’s a weakness. I don’t know how you did it.”

“Good. Now you get it.”

There’s a prickling of where John’s claws are digging just slightly into its hand. It doesn’t hurt. Rather, it’s grounding. It still wasn’t entirely convinced, but John’s getting on the right track.

“How I do it? Oh, just don’t think about the feelings that arise. It’s easy. But, you’ve always been the more emotional one. Always caught up in details.”

The hand raised off John’s chest, essentially bringing up the other’s hand and pressing a light kiss to the back of it. “But I do not devoid myself of those feelings. You just find a balance with it… Call acknowledging it, but don’t wield them. Something stupid like that.”

His face flushes the smallest amount. His hand still hasn’t moved off Wiley’s other one, still not pulling the hand from his throat.

He didn’t fully mind it, it was way more grounding than it should’ve been, only freaking him out for a moment earlier. Plus it’s not like he really needs to breathe so much anyway.

“I see. I’ll…do that. That doesn’t seem too tough.”

Wiley was right, John was always the emotional one. Still is. He did stupid things back in the day because of his emotions and his heart. And he knows now this could easily get him killed by the only beings who can really do so.

Wiley knew John wouldn’t get the hand off his throat. The other had directly said about caring for it, then Wilbur in mention as seperate entities. It was merely utilising what it knew against the other.

Which, felt like its point was proven.

“Oh, you aren’t doing it.” The hand against his throat suddenly tightened and squeezed. “Because I wouldn’t be able to do this, otherwise.” Again, the hand tightened further. Nails dug into the man’s flesh. It knew it couldn’t kill John, not permanently. The Black Blade could only permanently kill Wiley, so it’s assuming the same for John. But, was it correct about that? Who knows.

Its eyes stared into John’s, not even looking away. Annoyance burned bright in its gaze.

It would be the same. The Blade or the Lords can only permanently kill him.

And frankly, he didn’t care about the hand on his throat until now. He didn’t necessarily need to breathe so his airway being compromised didn’t matter, but it still hurt. Wiley was strong, way stronger than John, even.

“Flirting then…this. Why?”

He glared over at it, actually trying to tug Wiley’s hand free now.

Wiley let the other’s neck go, after a bit of tugging. It did it in a way where it’s nails dragged until his hand was off.

“Have you met any sniggles, yet? They’re annoying creatures. One of my least favourite parts about the Black and White.” It commented instead, not answering John’s question. “They’re quite fun to frighten, I have to admit.” It idly added.

He rubbed at his throat out of instinct and rolled his eyes, adjusting the denim jacket he’s wearing.

“I’ve come across a few. Got scared of me the second they saw me. Didn’t even have to open my mouth.”

“I’d call them glorified chickens, the way they act.” It mumbled, a clear bias against them.

Wiley’s eyes stared at John’s neck. Noting the slight red to it, a grin sliding onto its lips. Its gaze returned to John’s eye once more.

“Got it…Really haven’t heard anything nice about ‘em.”

He stares into Wiley’s eyes the best he can, focused fully on it.

A hand is placed on John’s shoulder, with the figure behind him leaning in close to his ear. There’s no breath that might tickle at the ear, when the creature talks.

“You aren’t him. Who are you?”

[ @previously-missing-in-action /nf ! ]

John froze for just a moment. He didn’t know how to react, only looking over with his one remaining eye.

He eventually relaxes, expression chsngign to one of confusion.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You aren’t supposed to reside in a place like this.”

Its other hand moved to the man’s chin, gripping it and having a look over the man’s face. Its eyes narrowed.

“What are you. Answer my question.”

“I’m actually absolutley supposed to be here. If I wasn’t, I would have been dematerialized by now.”

He winces when his face was grabbed, his eye narrowing as he glares straight back.

He’s well aware of what he looks like, and how different he has to be from who he was before the portal, from any other version of himself.

“I’ve seen versions of you dematerialise before.”

A mirror to Wiley, after all.

He flinches at first, a hand going up to protect his remaining eye. He didn’t move it away for a while, not until Wiley started talking again. And only then did he relax.

He wasn’t a biggest fan of the touch, it was so different. Not exactly a bad kind of different, just weird.

“I take you like that I’m different? That one version of me finally joined you and our Lords instead of fighting a fight that he’d never win…?”

He feels a sense of pride when he’s complimented and called adorable. And being called the first of his kind.

“Johnny’s a real good choice, I gotta praise you. Real sweet.”

It only grinned at such praise. “Johnny just fits you. Good that you could embrace it with this better life.”

“Unfortunately Wiggly decided he wasn’t too fond of me originally, the eye was gone before most of anything else went. All before I joined him of course.”

He adjusted his outfit, things that once belonged to his own Wilbur paired with military attire, the supposed protective suit torn, barely even anything anymore.

“If you could get me anything new, I’d happily wear it. And no worries, I’m keeping my hair.”

He offers a smile, face flushing just barely at the praise.

“Thank you for the compliments. And might I say, you look wonderful yourself.”

Slowly, Wiley slips the denim jacket off its shoulders. It offered the piece of clothing to John.

“I’d almost say you’re flirting with me there, Johnny.” And yet, Wiley winked at John anyway. It’s not going to pass up at that.

His face is close to red now, as much as his body really allows. He doesn’t know if it’s because of old memories or Wiley’s kindness or something else, but he genuinely likes the other.

He takes the denim jacket after shedding the destroyed “suit”, if it can even be called that, wrapping up in it. It fits wonderfully, and Wiley’s met with a fanged smile.

“Maybe I am…Do you want me to flirt with you?”

“It’ll fit. It’s just an eye, after all.”

It looked away, as a hand snaked around John’s waist. Pulling the man in closer. A grin danced along its lips.

“Definitely a good thing to still be around, I’m not taking that for granted.”

“I’d love to be with you, handsome. And you’re right, really is a no brainer when I’m with a wonderful man”

“Keep it that way. You’ve been blessed with a higher purpose by The Lords.”

He chuckles a bit as he was spun around, sticking close to Wiley.

“I should…probably skip the nastier parts. Though I’ll say dematerializing is..something. More painful than expected. And Wiggly can’t exactly get human limbs perfect.”

It’s easy to see at least on one of his arms, it looks…wrong. It looks like heavily scarred human flesh but also not at the same time. It functions perfect, at least.

“Being dragged around timelines sure is something too. Never thought I’d kill any innocent people, but I did. Wasn’t…as bad. Maybe because the Lords were there. Who knows”

It’s obvious there’s still a part of his old self still there, maybe it will never leave.

A hand moved to drag down, fingers trailing over the scarred not-quite human flesh. From afar, it might. But, looking closer, it’s hard to miss the details that are simply off.

“You’re soft. Too soft. Too human, still.”

“Pretty glad for what I have. Even if I quite literally have claws…and if it’s…odd.”

He shows Wiley his nails, truly looking more like claws. They’re stained with blood.

“I got thrown around at first. To separate me from who I was, from my home timeline and who I had, from the old values. It…partially worked. Wiggly wasn’t too happy with me early on.”

Even with everything, a lot of his old self remained. He hated it. He wasn’t who he was back then.

“I know they’re not. I was just saying…back in the day, they would’ve been. I know what I have to do. But sometimes killing isn’t easy.”

Nor is facing a version of Wiley that looks at him with pure hate and disgust, on order.

But he did what he had to.

“I hate it. Being like I used to. I shouldn’t be.”

He doesn’t know how to express it, wrapping up in the denim jacket a bit.

The hand moved from John’s arm and to his nails instead, idly picking at the blood stuck underneath. If it could, anyway. They’re stained, not like they would be pickable.

“And if He rids of you, I will kill you at His request.”

“It’s not about any wavering loyalty.”

It’s a big hard to talk, with Wiley’s nails digging into his skin hard enough it hurt.

“I don’t know why I am like that. I shouldn’t be. Only people I care for are myself and my Wilbur. And now you. The Lords are a given.”

He shrugs, seeming almost defeated, his eye stuck staring at Wiley. He knows he isn’t supposed to be like this. Nothing should matter but the Lords.

But he always was one to follow a higher decree.

Goddamnit.

Nails dug deeper, stabbing into John.

Wiley’s hands now dusted at its own body, exhaling slowly, despite not even needing to breathe.

“I always did follow a higher decree. Apparently that didn’t change.”

He mumbles and rubs at his face. He’s sure Wiley’s nails left marks in his cheeks. Not that it matters.

“Forgive me though for caring about you. And the man who is a big part of who I am. It doesn’t make me too human.”

He looks defeated, the tentacles he’s been hiding wrapping around himself, under the denim jacket he refused to take off still.

“I can do my job well. Despite it. In spite of it. You haven’t seen me work.”

He doesn’t need to breathe either but his chest feels tight. He hates it. He probably just ruined anything he had with Wiley, not that it was much.

“You need to change that. Because that higher decree should ceased to be followed.”

It shook its head slowly. “I fear until I see you work, I will always believe you to be too human. I feel like Wiggly made a poor choice with you.”

“He didn’t make a poor choice. It doesn’t matter if I care for Wilbur or not. Or the damn higher decree that’s probably just in my nature at this rate.”

He looks hurt and defeated all at once, too obvious with his emotions. He never really learned how to rein them in, even under the Lords. Which…wasn’t too great.

He wanted to get rid of that fact, wanting to be perfect. For Wiley and the Lords. Prove he’s like Wiley, not a pathetic human. Hell he wasn’t even human anymore.

“If it matters I had to face a version of you in my first timeline outside of my own. It didn’t go too well, but I did what I had to do. Did what was ordered.”

It haunts him, but he won’t say that.

“Only time will prove me right.”

Wiley stepped back in close, a hand going to rest lightly on John’s chest. Not grabbing, not pushing away.. Just resting there.

“You know our importance to each other. In every timeline. Might as well mention it.”

He’s rambling, trying to get his words straight, claws tapping on the back of Wiley’s hand.

It was so early then, he still recalled all the PEIP training. And at least that Wilbur’s death was quick. Better than anything he could’ve done. Damn Wilbur being too important to him.

He’s focused on their hands instead of Wiley’s face. It’s a better focus point.

Wiley expected nothing to beat against its hand, to feel a lack of a heart rather then actually feel one. Its hand flexed, as if ready to pull away. But didn’t.

Its free hand moved to John's chin, bringing it up gently to meet its eyes.

“Did you regret killing him?” It questioned, eyes staring without even a blink. Wiley's expecting one specific answer out of him.

“He…did. I ignored it. I had to.”

He looks up at Wiley’s his face was held, his hand still holding Wiley’s other one.

“He begged and pleaded, said this wasn’t like me. Said he’d do anything. But…had to follow orders.”

Even if Wiley didn’t fully believe him.

“I still think you’re too soft. Too human. But you’ll get there.” It moved the free hand to pat at John’s shoulder. “Hell, I’d even call you weak.”

“I’m not weak.”

John didn’t let go of Wiley’s hand either, holding it tight.

“I’m not fully like you yet but that doesn’t make me weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.”

Nails dug in more. “I don’t think you’ll be able to leave that behind, however. And it’s weakening you and preventing you from being a man like me. A proper disciple.”

“I’m not weak.” He sounds like he’s convincing himself, too, barely wincing as Wiley’s nails dig into his skin.

As much as he’d want to, he can’t. Wilbur’s been incredibly important to his life for nearly all of it. He can’t just…abandon that.

“I can be a good disciple and still have that connection. I’m not weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.” It wasn’t going to let go of that opinion anytime soon.

He stayed silent for a while, eye wide as he stared, focusing on its face.

He reached for the hand on his throat, grabbing it but not trying to move it. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t just rip its hand off him.

“I despise PEIP for all they’ve done. To our Lords and us. No matter what, that’s never changing.”

“I don’t feel like you do.” It gave a small jab at John. “And, honestly Johnny, you’re still real similar to your counterpart of that supposed good version. Even if you devote now.”

The muscles in its arm flexed once it’s grabbed, finding it odd that it’s not immediately moved or taken away.

“And don’t you despise them enough to want to burn them apart? Destroy them all, in the name of our Lords? It’ll do nobody good to have them just sitting around.”

Damn him having a heart.

“PEIP deserves to be destroyed. We both know it. They’re horrid, and they go against us and our Lords.”

John still doesn’t more Wiley’s hand. His hand is just resting on its hand, claws just slightly digging in.

“I don’t know why I still have a heart like I do. Even if I’m not weak…or like to think I’m not…it’s a weakness. I don’t know how you did it.”

“Good. Now you get it.”

“How I do it? Oh, just don’t think about the feelings that arise. It’s easy. But, you’ve always been the more emotional one. Always caught up in details.”

His face flushes the smallest amount. His hand still hasn’t moved off Wiley’s other one, still not pulling the hand from his throat.

He didn’t fully mind it, it was way more grounding than it should’ve been, only freaking him out for a moment earlier. Plus it’s not like he really needs to breathe so much anyway.

“I see. I’ll…do that. That doesn’t seem too tough.”

Which, felt like its point was proven.

Its eyes stared into John’s, not even looking away. Annoyance burned bright in its gaze.

It would be the same. The Blade or the Lords can only permanently kill him.

“Flirting then…this. Why?”

He glared over at it, actually trying to tug Wiley’s hand free now.

Wiley let the other’s neck go, after a bit of tugging. It did it in a way where it’s nails dragged until his hand was off.

He rubbed at his throat out of instinct and rolled his eyes, adjusting the denim jacket he’s wearing.

“I’ve come across a few. Got scared of me the second they saw me. Didn’t even have to open my mouth.”

A hand is placed on John’s shoulder, with the figure behind him leaning in close to his ear. There’s no breath that might tickle at the ear, when the creature talks.

“You aren’t him. Who are you?”

[ @previously-missing-in-action /nf ! ]

John froze for just a moment. He didn’t know how to react, only looking over with his one remaining eye.

He eventually relaxes, expression chsngign to one of confusion.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You aren’t supposed to reside in a place like this.”

Its other hand moved to the man’s chin, gripping it and having a look over the man’s face. Its eyes narrowed.

“What are you. Answer my question.”

“I’m actually absolutley supposed to be here. If I wasn’t, I would have been dematerialized by now.”

He winces when his face was grabbed, his eye narrowing as he glares straight back.

He’s well aware of what he looks like, and how different he has to be from who he was before the portal, from any other version of himself.

“I’ve seen versions of you dematerialise before.”

A mirror to Wiley, after all.

He flinches at first, a hand going up to protect his remaining eye. He didn’t move it away for a while, not until Wiley started talking again. And only then did he relax.

He wasn’t a biggest fan of the touch, it was so different. Not exactly a bad kind of different, just weird.

“I take you like that I’m different? That one version of me finally joined you and our Lords instead of fighting a fight that he’d never win…?”

He feels a sense of pride when he’s complimented and called adorable. And being called the first of his kind.

“Johnny’s a real good choice, I gotta praise you. Real sweet.”

It only grinned at such praise. “Johnny just fits you. Good that you could embrace it with this better life.”

“Unfortunately Wiggly decided he wasn’t too fond of me originally, the eye was gone before most of anything else went. All before I joined him of course.”

He adjusted his outfit, things that once belonged to his own Wilbur paired with military attire, the supposed protective suit torn, barely even anything anymore.

“If you could get me anything new, I’d happily wear it. And no worries, I’m keeping my hair.”

He offers a smile, face flushing just barely at the praise.

“Thank you for the compliments. And might I say, you look wonderful yourself.”

Slowly, Wiley slips the denim jacket off its shoulders. It offered the piece of clothing to John.

“I’d almost say you’re flirting with me there, Johnny.” And yet, Wiley winked at John anyway. It’s not going to pass up at that.

His face is close to red now, as much as his body really allows. He doesn’t know if it’s because of old memories or Wiley’s kindness or something else, but he genuinely likes the other.

He takes the denim jacket after shedding the destroyed “suit”, if it can even be called that, wrapping up in it. It fits wonderfully, and Wiley’s met with a fanged smile.

“Maybe I am…Do you want me to flirt with you?”

“It’ll fit. It’s just an eye, after all.”

It looked away, as a hand snaked around John’s waist. Pulling the man in closer. A grin danced along its lips.

“Definitely a good thing to still be around, I’m not taking that for granted.”

“I’d love to be with you, handsome. And you’re right, really is a no brainer when I’m with a wonderful man”

“Keep it that way. You’ve been blessed with a higher purpose by The Lords.”

He chuckles a bit as he was spun around, sticking close to Wiley.

“I should…probably skip the nastier parts. Though I’ll say dematerializing is..something. More painful than expected. And Wiggly can’t exactly get human limbs perfect.”

It’s easy to see at least on one of his arms, it looks…wrong. It looks like heavily scarred human flesh but also not at the same time. It functions perfect, at least.

“Being dragged around timelines sure is something too. Never thought I’d kill any innocent people, but I did. Wasn’t…as bad. Maybe because the Lords were there. Who knows”

It’s obvious there’s still a part of his old self still there, maybe it will never leave.

A hand moved to drag down, fingers trailing over the scarred not-quite human flesh. From afar, it might. But, looking closer, it’s hard to miss the details that are simply off.

“You’re soft. Too soft. Too human, still.”

“Pretty glad for what I have. Even if I quite literally have claws…and if it’s…odd.”

He shows Wiley his nails, truly looking more like claws. They’re stained with blood.

“I got thrown around at first. To separate me from who I was, from my home timeline and who I had, from the old values. It…partially worked. Wiggly wasn’t too happy with me early on.”

Even with everything, a lot of his old self remained. He hated it. He wasn’t who he was back then.

“I know they’re not. I was just saying…back in the day, they would’ve been. I know what I have to do. But sometimes killing isn’t easy.”

Nor is facing a version of Wiley that looks at him with pure hate and disgust, on order.

But he did what he had to.

“I hate it. Being like I used to. I shouldn’t be.”

He doesn’t know how to express it, wrapping up in the denim jacket a bit.

The hand moved from John’s arm and to his nails instead, idly picking at the blood stuck underneath. If it could, anyway. They’re stained, not like they would be pickable.

“And if He rids of you, I will kill you at His request.”

“It’s not about any wavering loyalty.”

It’s a big hard to talk, with Wiley’s nails digging into his skin hard enough it hurt.

“I don’t know why I am like that. I shouldn’t be. Only people I care for are myself and my Wilbur. And now you. The Lords are a given.”

He shrugs, seeming almost defeated, his eye stuck staring at Wiley. He knows he isn’t supposed to be like this. Nothing should matter but the Lords.

But he always was one to follow a higher decree.

Goddamnit.

Nails dug deeper, stabbing into John.

Wiley’s hands now dusted at its own body, exhaling slowly, despite not even needing to breathe.

“I always did follow a higher decree. Apparently that didn’t change.”

He mumbles and rubs at his face. He’s sure Wiley’s nails left marks in his cheeks. Not that it matters.

“Forgive me though for caring about you. And the man who is a big part of who I am. It doesn’t make me too human.”

He looks defeated, the tentacles he’s been hiding wrapping around himself, under the denim jacket he refused to take off still.

“I can do my job well. Despite it. In spite of it. You haven’t seen me work.”

He doesn’t need to breathe either but his chest feels tight. He hates it. He probably just ruined anything he had with Wiley, not that it was much.

“You need to change that. Because that higher decree should ceased to be followed.”

It shook its head slowly. “I fear until I see you work, I will always believe you to be too human. I feel like Wiggly made a poor choice with you.”

“He didn’t make a poor choice. It doesn’t matter if I care for Wilbur or not. Or the damn higher decree that’s probably just in my nature at this rate.”

He looks hurt and defeated all at once, too obvious with his emotions. He never really learned how to rein them in, even under the Lords. Which…wasn’t too great.

He wanted to get rid of that fact, wanting to be perfect. For Wiley and the Lords. Prove he’s like Wiley, not a pathetic human. Hell he wasn’t even human anymore.

“If it matters I had to face a version of you in my first timeline outside of my own. It didn’t go too well, but I did what I had to do. Did what was ordered.”

It haunts him, but he won’t say that.

“Only time will prove me right.”

Wiley stepped back in close, a hand going to rest lightly on John’s chest. Not grabbing, not pushing away.. Just resting there.

“You know our importance to each other. In every timeline. Might as well mention it.”

He’s rambling, trying to get his words straight, claws tapping on the back of Wiley’s hand.

It was so early then, he still recalled all the PEIP training. And at least that Wilbur’s death was quick. Better than anything he could’ve done. Damn Wilbur being too important to him.

He’s focused on their hands instead of Wiley’s face. It’s a better focus point.

Wiley expected nothing to beat against its hand, to feel a lack of a heart rather then actually feel one. Its hand flexed, as if ready to pull away. But didn’t.

Its free hand moved to John's chin, bringing it up gently to meet its eyes.

“Did you regret killing him?” It questioned, eyes staring without even a blink. Wiley's expecting one specific answer out of him.

“He…did. I ignored it. I had to.”

He looks up at Wiley’s his face was held, his hand still holding Wiley’s other one.

“He begged and pleaded, said this wasn’t like me. Said he’d do anything. But…had to follow orders.”

Even if Wiley didn’t fully believe him.

“I still think you’re too soft. Too human. But you’ll get there.” It moved the free hand to pat at John’s shoulder. “Hell, I’d even call you weak.”

“I’m not weak.”

John didn’t let go of Wiley’s hand either, holding it tight.

“I’m not fully like you yet but that doesn’t make me weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.”

Nails dug in more. “I don’t think you’ll be able to leave that behind, however. And it’s weakening you and preventing you from being a man like me. A proper disciple.”

“I’m not weak.” He sounds like he’s convincing himself, too, barely wincing as Wiley’s nails dig into his skin.

As much as he’d want to, he can’t. Wilbur’s been incredibly important to his life for nearly all of it. He can’t just…abandon that.

“I can be a good disciple and still have that connection. I’m not weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.” It wasn’t going to let go of that opinion anytime soon.

He stayed silent for a while, eye wide as he stared, focusing on its face.

He reached for the hand on his throat, grabbing it but not trying to move it. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t just rip its hand off him.

“I despise PEIP for all they’ve done. To our Lords and us. No matter what, that’s never changing.”

“I don’t feel like you do.” It gave a small jab at John. “And, honestly Johnny, you’re still real similar to your counterpart of that supposed good version. Even if you devote now.”

The muscles in its arm flexed once it’s grabbed, finding it odd that it’s not immediately moved or taken away.

“And don’t you despise them enough to want to burn them apart? Destroy them all, in the name of our Lords? It’ll do nobody good to have them just sitting around.”

Damn him having a heart.

“PEIP deserves to be destroyed. We both know it. They’re horrid, and they go against us and our Lords.”

John still doesn’t more Wiley’s hand. His hand is just resting on its hand, claws just slightly digging in.

“I don’t know why I still have a heart like I do. Even if I’m not weak…or like to think I’m not…it’s a weakness. I don’t know how you did it.”

“Good. Now you get it.”

“How I do it? Oh, just don’t think about the feelings that arise. It’s easy. But, you’ve always been the more emotional one. Always caught up in details.”

His face flushes the smallest amount. His hand still hasn’t moved off Wiley’s other one, still not pulling the hand from his throat.

He didn’t fully mind it, it was way more grounding than it should’ve been, only freaking him out for a moment earlier. Plus it’s not like he really needs to breathe so much anyway.

“I see. I’ll…do that. That doesn’t seem too tough.”

Which, felt like its point was proven.

Its eyes stared into John’s, not even looking away. Annoyance burned bright in its gaze.

It would be the same. The Blade or the Lords can only permanently kill him.

“Flirting then…this. Why?”

He glared over at it, actually trying to tug Wiley’s hand free now.

apples-green

He sneaks into Wiley’s space, mostly just looking around before properly looking at the other. Hes familiar, but not.

It’s easy to tell who he was before, at least. A certain solider by the name of John MacNamara.

The fuck you want, John?

“What? I can’t look around? I’m not gonna hurt you, the Lords would hate if I killed one of their favorites.”

apples-green

I am mighty damn fine. But what’s with the flattery?

“Well, you’re you. Very good man. One of my own favorites. Plus I do miss being around Wiley’s.”

A hand is placed on John’s shoulder, with the figure behind him leaning in close to his ear. There’s no breath that might tickle at the ear, when the creature talks.

“You aren’t him. Who are you?”

[ @previously-missing-in-action /nf ! ]

John froze for just a moment. He didn’t know how to react, only looking over with his one remaining eye.

He eventually relaxes, expression chsngign to one of confusion.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You aren’t supposed to reside in a place like this.”

Its other hand moved to the man’s chin, gripping it and having a look over the man’s face. Its eyes narrowed.

“What are you. Answer my question.”

“I’m actually absolutley supposed to be here. If I wasn’t, I would have been dematerialized by now.”

He winces when his face was grabbed, his eye narrowing as he glares straight back.

He’s well aware of what he looks like, and how different he has to be from who he was before the portal, from any other version of himself.

“I’ve seen versions of you dematerialise before.”

A mirror to Wiley, after all.

He flinches at first, a hand going up to protect his remaining eye. He didn’t move it away for a while, not until Wiley started talking again. And only then did he relax.

He wasn’t a biggest fan of the touch, it was so different. Not exactly a bad kind of different, just weird.

“I take you like that I’m different? That one version of me finally joined you and our Lords instead of fighting a fight that he’d never win…?”

He feels a sense of pride when he’s complimented and called adorable. And being called the first of his kind.

“Johnny’s a real good choice, I gotta praise you. Real sweet.”

It only grinned at such praise. “Johnny just fits you. Good that you could embrace it with this better life.”

“Unfortunately Wiggly decided he wasn’t too fond of me originally, the eye was gone before most of anything else went. All before I joined him of course.”

He adjusted his outfit, things that once belonged to his own Wilbur paired with military attire, the supposed protective suit torn, barely even anything anymore.

“If you could get me anything new, I’d happily wear it. And no worries, I’m keeping my hair.”

He offers a smile, face flushing just barely at the praise.

“Thank you for the compliments. And might I say, you look wonderful yourself.”

Slowly, Wiley slips the denim jacket off its shoulders. It offered the piece of clothing to John.

“I’d almost say you’re flirting with me there, Johnny.” And yet, Wiley winked at John anyway. It’s not going to pass up at that.

His face is close to red now, as much as his body really allows. He doesn’t know if it’s because of old memories or Wiley’s kindness or something else, but he genuinely likes the other.

He takes the denim jacket after shedding the destroyed “suit”, if it can even be called that, wrapping up in it. It fits wonderfully, and Wiley’s met with a fanged smile.

“Maybe I am…Do you want me to flirt with you?”

“It’ll fit. It’s just an eye, after all.”

It looked away, as a hand snaked around John’s waist. Pulling the man in closer. A grin danced along its lips.

“Definitely a good thing to still be around, I’m not taking that for granted.”

“I’d love to be with you, handsome. And you’re right, really is a no brainer when I’m with a wonderful man”

“Keep it that way. You’ve been blessed with a higher purpose by The Lords.”

He chuckles a bit as he was spun around, sticking close to Wiley.

“I should…probably skip the nastier parts. Though I’ll say dematerializing is..something. More painful than expected. And Wiggly can’t exactly get human limbs perfect.”

It’s easy to see at least on one of his arms, it looks…wrong. It looks like heavily scarred human flesh but also not at the same time. It functions perfect, at least.

“Being dragged around timelines sure is something too. Never thought I’d kill any innocent people, but I did. Wasn’t…as bad. Maybe because the Lords were there. Who knows”

It’s obvious there’s still a part of his old self still there, maybe it will never leave.

A hand moved to drag down, fingers trailing over the scarred not-quite human flesh. From afar, it might. But, looking closer, it’s hard to miss the details that are simply off.

“You’re soft. Too soft. Too human, still.”

“Pretty glad for what I have. Even if I quite literally have claws…and if it’s…odd.”

He shows Wiley his nails, truly looking more like claws. They’re stained with blood.

“I got thrown around at first. To separate me from who I was, from my home timeline and who I had, from the old values. It…partially worked. Wiggly wasn’t too happy with me early on.”

Even with everything, a lot of his old self remained. He hated it. He wasn’t who he was back then.

“I know they’re not. I was just saying…back in the day, they would’ve been. I know what I have to do. But sometimes killing isn’t easy.”

Nor is facing a version of Wiley that looks at him with pure hate and disgust, on order.

But he did what he had to.

“I hate it. Being like I used to. I shouldn’t be.”

He doesn’t know how to express it, wrapping up in the denim jacket a bit.

The hand moved from John’s arm and to his nails instead, idly picking at the blood stuck underneath. If it could, anyway. They’re stained, not like they would be pickable.

“And if He rids of you, I will kill you at His request.”

“It’s not about any wavering loyalty.”

It’s a big hard to talk, with Wiley’s nails digging into his skin hard enough it hurt.

“I don’t know why I am like that. I shouldn’t be. Only people I care for are myself and my Wilbur. And now you. The Lords are a given.”

He shrugs, seeming almost defeated, his eye stuck staring at Wiley. He knows he isn’t supposed to be like this. Nothing should matter but the Lords.

But he always was one to follow a higher decree.

Goddamnit.

Nails dug deeper, stabbing into John.

Wiley’s hands now dusted at its own body, exhaling slowly, despite not even needing to breathe.

“I always did follow a higher decree. Apparently that didn’t change.”

He mumbles and rubs at his face. He’s sure Wiley’s nails left marks in his cheeks. Not that it matters.

“Forgive me though for caring about you. And the man who is a big part of who I am. It doesn’t make me too human.”

He looks defeated, the tentacles he’s been hiding wrapping around himself, under the denim jacket he refused to take off still.

“I can do my job well. Despite it. In spite of it. You haven’t seen me work.”

He doesn’t need to breathe either but his chest feels tight. He hates it. He probably just ruined anything he had with Wiley, not that it was much.

“You need to change that. Because that higher decree should ceased to be followed.”

It shook its head slowly. “I fear until I see you work, I will always believe you to be too human. I feel like Wiggly made a poor choice with you.”

“He didn’t make a poor choice. It doesn’t matter if I care for Wilbur or not. Or the damn higher decree that’s probably just in my nature at this rate.”

He looks hurt and defeated all at once, too obvious with his emotions. He never really learned how to rein them in, even under the Lords. Which…wasn’t too great.

He wanted to get rid of that fact, wanting to be perfect. For Wiley and the Lords. Prove he’s like Wiley, not a pathetic human. Hell he wasn’t even human anymore.

“If it matters I had to face a version of you in my first timeline outside of my own. It didn’t go too well, but I did what I had to do. Did what was ordered.”

It haunts him, but he won’t say that.

“Only time will prove me right.”

Wiley stepped back in close, a hand going to rest lightly on John’s chest. Not grabbing, not pushing away.. Just resting there.

“You know our importance to each other. In every timeline. Might as well mention it.”

He’s rambling, trying to get his words straight, claws tapping on the back of Wiley’s hand.

It was so early then, he still recalled all the PEIP training. And at least that Wilbur’s death was quick. Better than anything he could’ve done. Damn Wilbur being too important to him.

He’s focused on their hands instead of Wiley’s face. It’s a better focus point.

Wiley expected nothing to beat against its hand, to feel a lack of a heart rather then actually feel one. Its hand flexed, as if ready to pull away. But didn’t.

Its free hand moved to John's chin, bringing it up gently to meet its eyes.

“Did you regret killing him?” It questioned, eyes staring without even a blink. Wiley's expecting one specific answer out of him.

“He…did. I ignored it. I had to.”

He looks up at Wiley’s his face was held, his hand still holding Wiley’s other one.

“He begged and pleaded, said this wasn’t like me. Said he’d do anything. But…had to follow orders.”

Even if Wiley didn’t fully believe him.

“I still think you’re too soft. Too human. But you’ll get there.” It moved the free hand to pat at John’s shoulder. “Hell, I’d even call you weak.”

“I’m not weak.”

John didn’t let go of Wiley’s hand either, holding it tight.

“I’m not fully like you yet but that doesn’t make me weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.”

Nails dug in more. “I don’t think you’ll be able to leave that behind, however. And it’s weakening you and preventing you from being a man like me. A proper disciple.”

“I’m not weak.” He sounds like he’s convincing himself, too, barely wincing as Wiley’s nails dig into his skin.

As much as he’d want to, he can’t. Wilbur’s been incredibly important to his life for nearly all of it. He can’t just…abandon that.

“I can be a good disciple and still have that connection. I’m not weak, Wil.”

“You are weak.” It wasn’t going to let go of that opinion anytime soon.

He stayed silent for a while, eye wide as he stared, focusing on its face.

He reached for the hand on his throat, grabbing it but not trying to move it. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t just rip its hand off him.

“I despise PEIP for all they’ve done. To our Lords and us. No matter what, that’s never changing.”

“I don’t feel like you do.” It gave a small jab at John. “And, honestly Johnny, you’re still real similar to your counterpart of that supposed good version. Even if you devote now.”

The muscles in its arm flexed once it’s grabbed, finding it odd that it’s not immediately moved or taken away.

“And don’t you despise them enough to want to burn them apart? Destroy them all, in the name of our Lords? It’ll do nobody good to have them just sitting around.”

Damn him having a heart.

“PEIP deserves to be destroyed. We both know it. They’re horrid, and they go against us and our Lords.”

John still doesn’t more Wiley’s hand. His hand is just resting on its hand, claws just slightly digging in.

“I don’t know why I still have a heart like I do. Even if I’m not weak…or like to think I’m not…it’s a weakness. I don’t know how you did it.”

“Good. Now you get it.”

“How I do it? Oh, just don’t think about the feelings that arise. It’s easy. But, you’ve always been the more emotional one. Always caught up in details.”

His face flushes the smallest amount. His hand still hasn’t moved off Wiley’s other one, still not pulling the hand from his throat.

He didn’t fully mind it, it was way more grounding than it should’ve been, only freaking him out for a moment earlier. Plus it’s not like he really needs to breathe so much anyway.

“I see. I’ll…do that. That doesn’t seem too tough.”

apples-green

He sneaks into Wiley’s space, mostly just looking around before properly looking at the other. Hes familiar, but not.

It’s easy to tell who he was before, at least. A certain solider by the name of John MacNamara.

The fuck you want, John?

“What? I can’t look around? I’m not gonna hurt you, the Lords would hate if I killed one of their favorites.”

Ow...

You alright there ?

.....yes.

Are you sure?

If you’re hurt, I know first aid.

Not hurt just in pain. Aren't you supposed to be evil.

Yes. But I still do wish to help those injured. Or in pain.

And what's the catch?

@supposedly-passed-soldier

Unless I have an order, which I don’t as of now, no catch.

....right.

Little remnant of who I used to be.

You kept more than your counterpart did.

Much to so many people’s dismay.

I wouldn't call it dismay. Merely surprise.

Hm…

People would prefer me being crueler.

The vast vast vast majority really wouldn't. Fuck anyone who wants you to.

The vast majority think I’m still the man I was nearly 20 years ago.

You care too much about how others view you. All things considered, you got the best case scenario here.

It’s…tougher than you think.

Miracle I’m not dead, but, it could be worse.

I raised in Blinky's church with my dad as the high priest. Believe me. I understand

Ah…I see.

You managed to keep most of the important parts of John. That's more than most can say. If you are comfortable with who you are, that's all that matters.

The luck of the higher decree.

Just gotta make sure I do my job so the Lords don’t decide I’m weak and rid themselves of me.

What do you get in return for working with them?

Not dying?

They saved my life. So I owe them.

That's dumb.

It’s just a fact.

Disciples aren’t really supposed to ask much of the Lords. It’s good that they kept me alive. Helped me survive things no human should.

Only so they could use you as their pawn.

It’s better that than dying painfully and being wiped from existence.

Personally I'd prefer death.

And that is where we differ.

[Hes…watching. His eye is following Wilbur. He looks so familiar but so different all at once]

John wouldn’t blame him for wanting to be away from PEIP. He himself is quite glad that’s he’s managed a decent separation since his own incident.

He has no plans to attack, not yet at least. Though he does stop him in his tracks, walking in front of him.

[He stops, trying not to get intimidated by him, no matter how similar he looks to John. Wilbur wants to say something but it's unsure about what]

...that's my jacket.

[One that he stole from Holloway, but he still considers it his own]

“Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.”

John shrugs, smiling.

“Not even surprised it’s me? Just missing your jacket?”

I am a bit surprised, but what else did I expect from a timeline like this?

“Things definitely are strange, I’ll give you that, Wil.”

From what I've seen, you're relatively normal.

And I don't plan on joining anyone's side as of now. I've decided I should finally retire.

“Normal? Me? Damn you’re a first to say that.”

“Good. Get out of that shithole.”

You don't like how Wiggly runs things sometimes?

“I was talking about PEIP. But I would prefer not being attacked for caring for versions of you.”

It's fine. I stopped caring for any version of you as well, anyways. Talked to John recently and...he's a prick.

“Hm…didn’t know that was possible. For either of us to stop caring, I mean.”

It's usually harder on your end. Excluding you, of course.

I'm terribly sorry for what happened, but now that it's done, just keep on moving forward. That's what I always said to myself when I was still in your place.

“Not your fault. We’re not even from the same line of time. I’m just glad I haven’t been given orders against you…but it’s harder than you think to separate from them.”

Oh, I know how it is. It can be tedious, but if you play your cards right, you can take advantage of your situation.

“You can? Really?”

Was that so hard to figure out?

“No. Just didn’t think it was easy. But maybe my situation is different.”

Staring at her from afar. He looks familiar, but not in any typical way.

[Holloway sighs, turning to face the man.]

If you want something, you can use your words Hun.

“Forgive me.”

He blinks a few times and waves, adjusting his denim jacket. It looks like hers, just slightly baggier on John.

Why are you here, Johnny?

“Can’t a guy hang around his favorite witch?”

Lurking in the shadows and saying nothing is more stalking hun.

“Just waiting for a good time.”

He does eventually move out of the shadows, properly revealing himself. Mostly human in full denim attire with green tentacles draping down his back. His sole eye looks green, a change from the original color it used to have.

You and I have different definitions of good.

“Well it’s not a bad time now, is it?”

Depends on what it is time for.

“Nothing bad…just conversation.”

....

[Holloway continues to walk to the diner.]

How ya been?