no one expects the osha inspection!

~ An OC roleplaying blog, set in the Mouthwashing Universe. ~

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Name's Wolfrum! A traditional man, he/him man, manly man. I work for Pony Express in the safety department! ROLLER DERBY FULL CONTACT SPORT CHAMPION 6 YEARS IN A ROW 🔥🔥🔥 Oldest of four, the big brother, ALPHA WOLF MAN. REAL alpha. PROTECT, DEFEND, SUPPORT 🔥🔥🔥 Leader of the PACK, we go down together and we go down swinging. I LOVE THE TRANS RIGHTS.

OOC: This is an OC roleplay blog for the game Mouthwashing, set in the broader universe. Mun and muse are both adults. If you're a minor and you read the NSFW posts I will be VERY disappointed in you. :(

Rules:

+ Anyone can interact, but rude people will probably be blocked eventually

+ Very few things said on this blog should be taken as life advice or a direct, 1-to-1 reflection of my (the mun's) IRL views and thoughts.

+ NSFW posts will be tagged as HR violations.

+ Muse is impervious to the horrors happening, but feel free to try and traumatize him! It's good for him, probably. He loves being horrified. It's like a stim to him

+ Tag your OOC asks with an (OOC) somewhere, please and thanks

+ Wolfrum is a flirty, friendly, and confident character. That can easily read as aggressive, overbearing, or upsetting. If you don't want to roleplay something, it's not an issue! Just lmk above table. 👌

+ EMOJI TAG ANONS WELCOME. I FUCKING LOVE OCS. LET'S GET THIS BREAD

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Why 4llud3 t0 s0m3th1ng but s4y n0th1ng wh3n 4sk3d furth3r?

There's a fine line between being honest with people and inviting strangers into your home to critique your floorplan. I was asked why I wasn't going to be around more, and I answered that question to the level I'm comfortable answering it. What's "juicy drama" to you is a painful experience for me, Duncan's mod, and others.

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

why r u g01ng 0n h14tus?

I don't know if I can answer this without getting serious retaliation, and I am now genuinely afraid of the other party trying to slander me despite me having screenshot evidence, so I'll just say... Interpersonal conflict happened, I dislike the greater fandom space's actions, and uhhhhh interest shift.

[takeout-taradiddle]

This blog is on indefinite hiatus.

[foxgenderz]

happy eat rocks friday

[avengersmcmahon]

“Wolves are such vicious beasts”

Also wolf:

[kimiko24]

Night Hunt & Night Hunt 2 (via John Brosio)

[muzzleoleum-deactivated20260120]

punkin :3

[wolfsblog]

TYPES OF WOLVES AROUND THE WORLD ...

[geezerwench]

[dozydawn]

[minarachelle]

Dierenpark Amersfoort, Nederland - 2022

[deactivated-blog]

Doesn't Belong

[pangeen]

" Fluffy Winter Coat🐺" // © Sondre Eriksen Hensema

[lambs-lot]

Hurt? That's all? Whoa, no accounting for good bed etiquette! Listen, father, let's meet up, and I'll show you a proper fuck, yeah? A really good time, no pain, no strings attached. Good to know what it is you're talking about in depth, right? - @surprise-its-safety-violations

I Do Not Know Who You Are And I Am Not Having Sex With Anyone. I Am To Remain Celibate. I Am A Priest.

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Let me introduce myself, father! Wolrum of the Pony Express department of Safety Department! 🔥🔥🔥 AND LOCAL ALPHA OF THE PACK. DEFENDER. SUPPORTER. LEADER. Upper management or whatever, not as important. MOSTLY IMPORTANT: I AM AN ALPHA 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Wild animal that CANNOT BE TAMED OR DOMESTICATED hell yeah 🔥🔥🔥

Pleased to meet you, father. ;)

[lambs-lot]

Well, this is certainly one way to meet one of my superiors. I am Father Daniel Lambert. It's nice to meet you, I suppose.

Is there something I can help you with that doesn't involve "a proper fuck" or any crass language?

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Plenty!

First off, you can run stock on the third pantry's cans, make a note of what we have and how much of it. Important to always keep track of what we have, what we need, and how grateful we are for it!

Second, you can help Jon with the laundry folding. There's a lot of people out here, and a lot of people make, you know, a lot of laundry! In fact, wayyyy too much laundry for just one guy to handle, and he could use a helping hand. Many hands make light work!

Third, Ivy's been having some religious psychosis about demons and angels. I'd appreciate if you could bring her something to more positively focus on. Positivity trickles down!

Fourth, Swansea's been hard at work grilling all by himself. It'd be great to wash up his grill for him, wouldn't it? Clean spaces to clean food make sure that none of us get sick! Proper food handling is a must for all ships! Give it a good scrub down, make sure you take it apart first, don't forget to dry and reassemble it!

Fifth and last but not least, some smart aleck decided to spray paint some crass words about Captain Curly and Co-Pilot Jimmy on the walls. HR violations out the wazoo! Give the walls a good wash and repaint where needed.

Thanks for volunteering to help, father!

You know what Pony Express says, everyone works to make the ship fly. Everyone helps so everyone eats!

And when you finish that, let me know, there's plenty more to do.

[lambs-lot]

Thats not quite what I meant. I was more asking you what you came to me for aside from... sex. But I would not mind helping this Ivy person and her religious psychosis. Could you tell me more about her?

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Just a list of duties and assignments! Make sure they all get done, alright? Polle's orders! =)

Ivy is @/takeout-taradiddle, the lady with dyed brown hair and blue eyes, she's got some kind of... issues? I don't know what she's got going on! But something is happening! And it's not good for her mental health.

Thanks for helping out!

[lambs-lot]

I'm not very good with physical labor. Apparently I was too frail for it when I was young and dad would always help me or just have mom do it.

But I can take stock of the cans, fold laundry, and help Ivy. Everything else will have to be delegated to others, I'm afraid.

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Gonna have to learn, father. Everybody has to pull their weight!

Not to worry, I'll do some weight lifting with you later, and we'll get you in good form in no time at all! =)

For now, just do what you can handle, alright?

[lambs-lot]

Hurt? That's all? Whoa, no accounting for good bed etiquette! Listen, father, let's meet up, and I'll show you a proper fuck, yeah? A really good time, no pain, no strings attached. Good to know what it is you're talking about in depth, right? - @surprise-its-safety-violations

I Do Not Know Who You Are And I Am Not Having Sex With Anyone. I Am To Remain Celibate. I Am A Priest.

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Let me introduce myself, father! Wolrum of the Pony Express department of Safety Department! 🔥🔥🔥 AND LOCAL ALPHA OF THE PACK. DEFENDER. SUPPORTER. LEADER. Upper management or whatever, not as important. MOSTLY IMPORTANT: I AM AN ALPHA 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 Wild animal that CANNOT BE TAMED OR DOMESTICATED hell yeah 🔥🔥🔥

Pleased to meet you, father. ;)

[lambs-lot]

Well, this is certainly one way to meet one of my superiors. I am Father Daniel Lambert. It's nice to meet you, I suppose.

Is there something I can help you with that doesn't involve "a proper fuck" or any crass language?

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Plenty!

First off, you can run stock on the third pantry's cans, make a note of what we have and how much of it. Important to always keep track of what we have, what we need, and how grateful we are for it!

Second, you can help Jon with the laundry folding. There's a lot of people out here, and a lot of people make, you know, a lot of laundry! In fact, wayyyy too much laundry for just one guy to handle, and he could use a helping hand. Many hands make light work!

Third, Ivy's been having some religious psychosis about demons and angels. I'd appreciate if you could bring her something to more positively focus on. Positivity trickles down!

Fourth, Swansea's been hard at work grilling all by himself. It'd be great to wash up his grill for him, wouldn't it? Clean spaces to clean food make sure that none of us get sick! Proper food handling is a must for all ships! Give it a good scrub down, make sure you take it apart first, don't forget to dry and reassemble it!

Fifth and last but not least, some smart aleck decided to spray paint some crass words about Captain Curly and Co-Pilot Jimmy on the walls. HR violations out the wazoo! Give the walls a good wash and repaint where needed.

Thanks for volunteering to help, father!

You know what Pony Express says, everyone works to make the ship fly. Everyone helps so everyone eats!

And when you finish that, let me know, there's plenty more to do.

[lambs-lot]

Thats not quite what I meant. I was more asking you what you came to me for aside from... sex. But I would not mind helping this Ivy person and her religious psychosis. Could you tell me more about her?

[surprise-its-safety-violations]

Just a list of duties and assignments! Make sure they all get done, alright? Polle's orders! =)

Ivy is @/takeout-taradiddle, the lady with dyed brown hair and blue eyes, she's got some kind of... issues? I don't know what she's got going on! But something is happening! And it's not good for her mental health.

Thanks for helping out!

[illustratus]

Wolves in a Snowstorm by Alfred Wierusz-Kowalski