i wake up on a friday morning and look down at my body in bed. my stomach is flat and tight, and my waist is tiny. my legs are long and lean. i feel clean. i feel light. i get out of bed and look in the mirror. my hair is thrown in a messy bun and i’m wearing an oversized sweatshirt, underwear, and long socks, and i look adorable, sexy even. effortlessly. my jawline is sharp and defined, and my face is clear, smooth, and glowing. i am empty in the best way. but i’m hungry so i go to the kitchen. before making breakfast i chug a glass of ice water. then i eat a small bowl of fruit - which is all it takes to fill me up now. next i return to my room to get dressed. i throw on some docs, that are chunky and make my legs look so tiny and elegant in contrast, some adorable socks. leggings, and a big comfy sweater. i look adorable. i let my wavy hair fall down my back and perfectly contour my face. i’m cute, but i have cheekbones that could kill. i’m a bad bitch. before leaving for school, i still have some time to spare since i don’t spend it self loathing in the mirror while getting dressed anymore, so i go make myself a big mug of hot tea. my hands and body look so tiny cupping it as i sit and stare out my bay window, admiring the autumn beauty. my favorite season. yellow, orange, and burgundy are everywhere, and pumpkins are out on display. for once i can truly enjoy the beauty that surrounds me knowing that i’m beautiful too. i finish my tea, and drive to school, sling my bag over my shoulder and leave for school. on the drive there i play my music, unworried about the day ahead. i once thought the ultimate upside of being thin was that i’d be noticed, but now that i’m there i realize that none of that shit matters. i don’t care what people think of me anymore, because i love myself now. and anyway, people love how fun and free-spirited since i’ve become who i truly am - a smart, sexy girl that has the body to fit. so i walk into school, my head held high, because i’m carefree and confident. it’s senior year and i’ve already applied to all my schools, already knowing i’ll be accepted. i’m naturally intelligent. my looks make me all the more cunning. i breeze through my classes. i’m applying myself, but also easily make excellent grades. i get along with all the people i’ve known forever in this small town, even if i don’t totally like them. it’s okay. i’m leaving them next year. but that doesn’t mean i can’t have a little fun. all the guys i’ve grown up next to are suddenly all over me and i’m flattered but i turn them down with class. i’m not giving them the satisfaction of getting to be with me now that i’m hot. it makes me feel so powerful. anyway, i go through the school day and meet my boyfriend in the parking lot afterwards. girls look on with a scowl, but i know it’s because they’re envious. he picks me up with ease because even though he’s lean, i am too. he playfully carries me off to his car; i’ll get my car later. we drive through the fall scenery and stop in the rural town next to us to get a little high before hitting up the cute little village store. i feel so small next to him, holding his big hands, and curling up in his lap as we sit outside and breath the crisp air while sipping on our coffee. i obviously ordered black. i’m cold so he gives me his red flannel. when we’re done he picks me up and takes me to his car where he blasts music and we make out in the backseat. we don’t care that people can see us. when we’re tired i fall on his chest and he lights a cig for us. i love feel like i’m being absorbed by his warm body since i’m so skinny. we lay for awhile before we decide to go back to the school so i can get my car. when we get there we bid farewell until later, when he’ll pick me up to go to a party. i already know what i’m wearing even though i could wear anything and look good in my perfect, sexy little body.
kianamaiart
gummygunk
origamiaround
